Ep #251: Gain Emotional Control to Have More Peace and Joy

In this episode of More Than Mindset, I’m interviewing some guest experts about their unique approaches to dealing with uncomfortable emotions.

You know, the discomfort is what stops us from making the changes we want to make in our lives, businesses, and relationships.

So, if we can manage our reaction when tough emotions present, we can do ANYTHING.

Explore the art of disarming emotional reactions and reducing anxiety in this episode of the More Than Mindset podcast.

Download my unique Self Healing Meditation to help you maintain calm: Get it here. 

 

What you’ll learn from this episode: 

  • Mind-Body Integration Essentials: Understand the power of integrating mind, body, and soul for enhanced resilience.
  • Crisis Management Strategies: Learn tangible techniques for grounding and finding calm during moments of crisis.

  • Breaking the Dysfunction Cycle: Uncover the role of the PUNCH-LINE Approach in breaking the cycle of dysfunction and achieving self-mastery.

  • Immediate Action Tools: Discover practical tools you can apply instantly to calm the emotional freakout.

Join the conversation and gain actionable insights to bring peace and emotional well-being into your life. 

Don’t forget to leave a rating and review!

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

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Full Episode Transcript:

Ep #251: Gain Emotional Control to Have More Peace and Joy

Welcome to More Than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello and welcome back to the show. Myself and my guests today are going to be talking about disarming emotional reactions and reducing anxiety to feel calm and at peace and to be able to excess excess. Which one is it? Excess, more joy. So my guests today are all the the thing that joins us together. The the unity that will come from speaking or the alliance is all about mind body integration. So we’ve been talking to a lot of clients, a lot of my students who are experiencing anxiety at this time, especially with knowing there’s lots of economical changes, things are have dramatically changed in the workplace, which is affecting their lives at home and their physical health. And that has put many people in an emotionally reactive state, which is just their humanity. Our brain is supposed to protect us from dying. And when we worry about having limited resources or any sort of dysfunction, it’s on high alert and we go into reactive mode if we don’t know how to emotionally stabilize. So these are experts from inside of my company. I’ve worked with all of these ladies for no less than a year. Some three years or longer. And I thought it would be a great topic for us to bring to others at these, at these times, especially during the holidays. So, Caitlin Shar and Jackie, um, I’m gonna give you a moment. Do you wanna just introduce yourself? I’ll just call you out so that we don’t have a weirdness. Kaitlyn. Just, you wanna, uh, kind of tell them who you are? Yeah. So, my name is Caitlyn Saulnier. I am based in Mandeville, Louisiana. I’ve been knowing Kim for a while now. Um And I’m an aura practitioner and an integrated nutritionist and I help women in business free their bodies of disease. And so, um I do that from a holistic approach and an integrative approach where we look at the mind and the body and the soul. You sure tell us about you. Hi, Kim. Thanks for having me. My name is Shar Wilson and I’m based out of Austin, Texas. Um So grateful to have been a part of your mind body coaching program this year transformed my life and really just put the bow on all of the other helo modalities that I’ve kind of gathered certifications in the last few years. So I’m a trauma informed healing arts practitioner, yoga, breath work, Reiki, and sound as well as an integrative mind body coach. And I am like Caitlyn said, taking an integrative mind, body soul approach, working with high achievers, very high driven type a type of people who are constantly struggling with anxiety and sleep issues and helping them to leverage internal fire, their drive to make a big impact in the world, to create more joy for themselves, to use that energy uh to build out the life that they want and create that massive impact. Instead of using that energy all in, in this internal struggle and friction and dissidence. You and Jackie. Hi, I’m Jackie Edberg. been a massage therapist for over 28 years now, Reiki master integrative mind body coach and currently in training for intuitive healing. Um I help clients find freedom from food obsession ending that cycle once and for all. So interestingly enough um in, in doing intuitive healing and getting more reconnected and grounded in my body and creating that safety, that safe container within me. I was able to, to then see what really needed to be worked on what was really true for me. Um A lot of the unconscious stories that were running underneath. I was able to access those through the grounding and intuitive piece. But then I realized when I, when it full circle came back around that did not stop my um overeating. And I started to come back to the mind body approach, realizing that there was a couple of different things happening, but I had to retrain my system. Um And so as I did that, as I use the punchline approach, as I use the grounding techniques that I’ve learned, bringing my energy back into my body, being able to create a safe container so that I can then actually handle what’s happening around me. I have the capacity now to do the hard work and not freeze. Um That was a huge piece for me and I’m on the other side and I have neutrality around food, which is a miracle because I’m 52 years old and I’ve been eating since I could eat. Um And I wanna teach others how to do that. I wanna teach others how to get free from that. And a really big piece for me was realizing that I was actually choosing myself for once. I was actually, when I, when I came through that first major trigger using the punchline approach and I had a, a massive emotional release behind that I realized it was because I finally saw me and chose myself and then I realized that that was a big piece. So continue to do coaching, continue to do intuitive healing and uh working um actively working in coaching. Um I want to help others get free of that cycle and find peace. Thank you. It is, it is like being a prisoner in your own body when you can’t access control of your nervous system and the emotional reactivity of like it’s almost like a volcano or storm or hurricane or like that’s happening in the physical body. And we actually don’t have access through the frontal cortex in order to, to be when we’re in the middle of a crisis, you know, and so I wanted to bring these guests on today to help the audience with. What do I do when I’m in the middle of the crises? Because as Jackie said with, you know, the last time when she was like, I just stopped and stayed and was with it and realized, like I saw me for the first time in the middle of it, but without strategy or like a system of container and understanding of how to framework, how many, how many years did all of you together without having a framework without having a system without having guiding, guidance or a coach or a mentor. How many years have you been out of control or disconnected from your body? Just, just name out the years Caitlin and then sh and then Jackie 2121 3838. I’d say 51. That is a lot of years. Yeah, that’s a century. And what I notice in the healing world is there’s this addiction to process, like there’s an addiction to healing itself. And what this has created is the belief that like it’s not even the belief, it’s the habit of the Brokenness and that we keep looking outside of ourselves. And what I believe the punchline approach has done is it’s given us a framework to go inside of ourselves. It’s like a course in self mastery. So it’s breaking that cycle that we have to go through some kind of like there’s something is better than another. Like there’s this secret to healing that there’s one modality that’s stronger than the others. Would you all agree that that’s what led us to have. How many degrees do we have between all of us? How many certifications? 100 like, seriously? Because we’ve done all of those things thinking it was the answer and then exactly what Jackie said. Yeah, those all led to here. But then what do I do with that? Or sha said when she came on, like, I have all of these modalities, I have all of these processes. Then what the hell do you do with it? It’s like going to the grocery store buying all these groceries and then you just look at them on the counter and you’re like, I don’t have a recipe. What do I, what do I do with all this gold? Speaking of Caitlin’s language, which is food. So what I want to do for the show today is give your go to like, what do you do for yourself or your client in that moment of and I want you to give, give what you got. Like, imagine this is your one and only chance to get it in print and you’re like, I’m leaving it before I’m gone. And this is what I want people to know according to where I am now because we know that’s ever changing. Right. But in this moment if there’s an un comfortable situation, maybe someone just got a diagnosis, maybe someone just found out their partner wants a divorce or maybe a divorced couple just found out their kids getting married and they have to go and see each other for the first time. Right. Those sorts of situations. What would you suggest? Sure, I’m gonna start with you. So imagine I came to you and an emotional meltdown. Maybe I don’t even know about emotions and feelings. I just feel a volcano erupting in my body pulsating in my heart and throat feels like there’s a £50 weight at the bottom of my belly and an elephant sitting on my chest feeling super anxious and a very rapidly racing. Mind. How could you help me? It’s what I teach, it’s what I use personally myself and what I teach at the beginning of every single one of my yoga and breathwork classes. And it’s uh my rendition of the power of free, which is the ability to pull yourself out of the in the moment, panic attack or ensuing panic attack. So for me, the way that I do it is step one. The first of three is, you know, when we’re in that heightened emotional state, we get tunnel vision, our breath shallows, we start to feel shaky, we’re hot. Maybe we start to sweat. We, we are losing physical control. Of ourselves. And are we bring into tunnel vision? We maybe even have like going dark little sparkly eyes. So we want to expand our vision, we want to expand the peripheral. The first thing I say is notice three things, explore your environment, like literally move your head around and notice and identify, vocalize three things in your environment. I see it, I hear it. I smell it. So that’s the first one. Notice three things in your environment. The second one is notice, make connection with and acknowledge three body parts. So I asked my students physically touch a body part and it doesn’t have to be a body part that like feels really good. It’s just a neutral body part like my ear or my thumb. So touch, make connection with three body parts, acknowledge them and thank them for how they serve you. Thank you ears for helping me to hear that siren coming through. Thank you ears for helping me to hear the birds chirping outside my door or the beautiful music that’s playing in the background that I wouldn’t have noticed because I’m just in my state of panic. And then the third one is three deep breaths because as a transformational breathwork coach, the fastest way to slow down time to slow your heart rate, to calm the mind, to quiet all of the chatter it’s going on is long breath, double the length of your exhale to your inhale. Maybe even hum out. So you’re tapping into and activating the vagus nerve, which is turning on the rest and digest in your body. The three deep breaths breathing in through the nose, filling all the way up to your lower belly, feeling the rib cage expand and then just exhale, let it drop out, thigh, hum it out. So that’s the power of three. Notice three things in your environment, expand your vision. So get yourself out of tunnel vision. Notice three things on your body because a lot of times we disassociate, we want to completely eject from the feeling because we believe that our body is like attacking us. When actually it’s just, it’s just talking to us. It’s sending a signal saying pay attention to me. So we reconnect, we acknowledge, we create gratitude and a safe connection with our body. And the third thing thing is deep long intentional breath, calms the heart, calms the mind brings you back into center and then you can make way better decisions. Thank you. I appreciate that. And I followed it. It felt amazing. It’s gonna be great for anyone to be able to come back and grab and they can just listen to that part, they can time mark, time, stamp it. Um And what we have two more for you. So Jackie, you spoke of an incident recently where you came to this awareness and this use and this. So do you wanna share what you did in that moment since um you were using information and you were integrating it in the moment or did you want to share something else? Well, it’s funny, something just came to me. Uh I had an incident recently literally and it was one of those moments um because my body just naturally after, you know, 51 years of freezing, you know, I react and I freeze very, very quickly, it can happen like that. So recently, I was literally sitting in the same position um do with a partner of mine and intuitive healing training. And I was doing a healing. I mean, I was in the middle of giving a healing. So I am tuned in and I am tracking and you really gotta stay tuned in for that and we’re hitting something and right as this happens, I start hearing cursing and things being thrown around in the bedroom next to me, which is my son and he’s angry about something and my natural go to is oh God, what’s wrong? What is, what’s going on? I all of a sudden my whole entire body just got hot. I mean, I can feel it right now as I’m talking about it, my whole entire body just got hot and I began to freeze. So for me, the one thing, the what I did in that moment was something that we practice in intuitive healing training. I lean back in my body, I lean back into that divine connection that higher, knowing that channel of love and light and grace. And I leaned back into that because for me, that is a sense of safety. I am held there. And so I just leaned back into that and I just began to breathe and feel my feet. And I literally was pressing on my legs just applying pressure to my legs to feel my body. Ok. There’s my body here I am. I’m OK, Slow down my breathing just actually literally just focusing on the breath, just slowing it down. All of a sudden that heat started to dissipate in my, my, my, I began, it’s almost like I just melted and opened up. And I, I was in that moment then I could say, you know what? He’s OK, he’s in, he’s fine, he’ll figure it out and I refocused. But it was that, that, I mean, it happened so fast. And so for me, it is really feeling my feet using my breath coming into my breath because for me, I know that any time, um let’s just say a trigger is hit within us. That that feeling of panic that arises in our body is just energy and I know to breathe to keep moving it. But I also need to tap or apply pressure to my body to know that I am safe. I am right here and it brings me back in and yeah, I made it through that and I was able to literally refocus and it wasn’t like anything bad was happening. But past experience told me something bad could happen. So I reacted, I reacted like something really bad was going to happen. And, and it really wasn’t, you’re on mute, you’re on mute. Something very interesting. You said um I I reacted but it’s actually like the neural pathways in the body, the imprint in the body reacted because you were like you were present and you were in, in right? And so then we hear something or we see something or maybe even think something. Yeah, that triggers that emotional signature, which can also be called an imprint in the nervous system. It’s cellular, it could be, it could be coming from the parents even. And so what I hear you saying is even being in that state of ease, it’s still pinged and triggered something which is a, I mean, that’s a great story for this particular episode because we’re not really expecting it or you don’t, you know, it comes from, yeah, they come out of all sorts of places and, and ideas and things. It could be a car literally coming out in front of you on, on the freeway and using the same thing I’m coming back to shore is, you know, it’s like that stop open, stay, it’s that touch, it’s the connect, it’s the being, it’s like it is safe to be inside, it is safe to be here. That is not me that reaction is not me so powerful to be able to separate, separate ourselves from that. Thank you. Um Kaitlin, how about you? Um So most of my, my 21 years of experience of being out of my body um brought me to where I, where I am at now, using the science of Ayurveda and integrative nutrition and just the journey of getting back into my body. And something that I teach my clients that Ayurveda is really big on is starting your day with routines and rituals getting into your body, it’s preventative, right? And so it creates uh these rituals and routines, creates the experience and the sensation in the body. So you can tap into that, that memory of sensation whenever you are in an experience where you are feeling triggered, where you are being pulled out of your body, where you are in that moment of trying to escape, right? Because we we it’s, it’s an escape culture that we live in. Like there’s so many ways to escape the experience, to escape the moment. And um so I love having these, these routines and these ritual practices that I do every morning. So I am present in my body 90% of the time, right? There are moments where I get pulled out, but I come back into my body because I remember how it feels to be here and this is home. You know, I’ve been, I’ve created home here for almost 18 years and this is where I feel more comfortable. This is where I want to stay. And so preventatively, I, I do these practices every morning and these practices, they can be um you can create them to be what you want. But you want to start with stimulating each one of the senses. Like you think of how you take in information, you take in information through your eyes, through your ears, through your nose, through your mouth and through touch. So you want to stimulate those first thing every morning. And so Ayurveda has some specific practices which I’ll mention, but you can do whatever you want. And so one of the practices is stimulating the mouth. You know, you brush your teeth. Ayurveda talks about tongue scraping, which is preventative for a bunch of things that I will get into later um on a different episode. Um but tongue scraping, oil pulling in the mouth, right? There’s some practices that you can do to stimulate that sense. Um for the nose, for the smell, um drinking lemon water, you smell the lime, you take the or the lemon, you taste the lemon, you taste the lime. Um putting this specific oil in your nose to stimulate your senses called nausea. Oil keeps it moist, it keeps it, you keep uh you’re grounded into the sense organ of the nose. Um the eyes splash cold water on the face first thing in the morning, right? Remembering that sensation of what it feels like to be like fresh. So splash, splashing water on your face in the morning. Um dry, brushing the skin with a dry brush or maybe just taking your hand and just like rubbing on your skin every morning telling yourself like it is safe to be here in this body. It is safe to be in this body. Um I know that something I do in the morning is I rub oil all over my body and I really pay attention to the heart space and I just rub here and I tell myself like it is safe to feel love, it is safe to be in this body, whatever you need. So whenever there you’re in a moment where you feel triggered or you feel disembodied and feel disconnected. I place my hand on my heart and I’m just like here I am. Here I am because I remember that touch. Um So stimulating your skin in some way, shape or form and then um a massage of the ears, massage of the ears are crunching or chewing something crunchy or humming or chanting something to stimulate the vocal chords. You can hear yourself. Um I say a chant every morning and it’s specific to the energy that I’m working on. But if I’m feeling pulled out of my body or overstimulated, um I deal with a lot of auditory stimulation. So being in crowds and having a lot of people like talk at me at one time and I have a really big family. So with the holidays coming up, I’m like, oh, boy. So I’ll hum, I’ll hum to myself and I’ll usually do like a gentle rock. I get joked on a lot at home, but I’ll do a little gentle rock and I’ll just hum and it like really calms my body because I’m coming back to my senses. So I start my day stimulating my five senses that can look, however you need it to look. And then so throughout the day, whenever I feel disconnected, I come back to those senses, I love that. Can I say something to that? Sure, I’m open. No, just something, you know, because you’re, you’re talking about creating a daily routine, right? Like a discipline. So, excuse me, for me, that looks like um being in meditation every morning, I’m in meditation every morning, probably anywhere between 2060 minutes, depending on what I’m doing. But if I’m specifically just doing a grounding, which I do every single day, you know, it’s just literally coming back into the body, coming back into the feet, the legs, the pelvis, that sense of being heavy in your seat and creating coming back, literally coming back in with breath, taking up space in, in, in the pelvis, in the root chakra, in the foundation of the body and it being home, you know, just like you said, it’s like I come home every morning, I wake up, I do my thing and then I come home before I go out the door. And so that is created a it, it’s like a memory like you said, like this memory of just like, oh home, home. So it’s and this safe, secure connection. I am always held safe and sound. And after doing this for over a year, every day, it is automatic. Like if I start to come out of my body, I’m able to come back to my home and ground. So it just makes I feel like that is the journey like coming back to the body. You know, because anxiety happens a lot in the mind. It’s, it’s an active mind and that’s where the energy is. So dropping down back into the body, it’s like and knowing that you’re safely held, you know, with what whatever is holding you, you know, there’s all kinds of things we can think about. But um yeah, I use Kim’s technique all the time where she says breathe in and like grab like start to gather the thought and then exhale, pull them down, drop into the body and notice all the sensations as those kind of become. It’s like a filtration system and it works in a matter of seconds. Yeah, your muted care on mute. There’s like lots of noise going on around me. Sorry about that. Um Sure I’ll start with you, but I’m gonna ask each of you to answer for someone who is listening to this and, you know, maybe they, they are go getters, you know, and they’re highly driven and they really have been spending, you know, most of their time driving, they driving in their life, I mean, just being a massive force of change and service. And so they haven’t really, you know, stopped and taken the time to understand a lot of what we’re talking about because this is, this is the spiritual access of, of life itself, right? This is the spirit of a lot of it is the spiritual and energetic part, emotional part, which is not common conversation in highly achieving areas. You come from corporate. So I know you understand what I’m saying, Jackie’s coming from body work. Caitlin is coming from um like behavioral teaching and, and leading and educating and um Aravena and yoga. So we’ve, we’ve been in that other world, we understand what it’s like to be in a, a school system, to be teaching, to be performing and even a workplace like a spa where you’re, you know, following these rules. And my question is, how would you explain fourth grade language? What do you mean by out of the body? It’s been mentioned several times. I talk about it a lot. I talk about imprints and escaping the body, returning to the body. But to someone who actually hasn’t been in a spiritual world, how could we bring this to them in a way that it makes more sense. Sure you wanna start. Yeah. The first thing that comes to mind for me is, um, my partner Justin, who he would not use the word dissociation. He doesn’t know that language. But when we first met he would talk about a few. It was a common occurrence for him at that time, several, several years ago. And I’ve witnessed it now in person where he had an out of body experience. Like he, he talks about how he’s driving down the road and ever so often it’s like he’s not in the car anymore. He’s off daydreaming about what happens if I accidentally drive off this cliff or if I miss a red light and I slam into somebody like that’s where his mind is going. And so he has, he has left the room of his body or like when you see in, in movies where um someone might be near death and the body starts to kind of float up and they’re just looking down at themselves. That is the visual that comes to me when we’re talking about out of out of body. We have, we have ejected from what Kate was saying, the five senses like I, you, I I’m not aware that I’m touching my hand right now. I’m not aware that I’m even standing in the room. I have locked orientation to time and space. How does that relate to um anxiety? Sure. For, for the person who’s listening, who is having these anxious episodes? How, how could you bring it up? Yeah, I think, I think the correlation there is complete loss of control, the, the anxiety feeling from my own experience of, you know, chronic anxiety for the majority of my life and the the coaching clients that I work with who are highly anxious and disassociated it. The anxiety is I I need to be able to control my external surroundings. I need to be able to control other people. The environment that I’m in to create a sense of safety, but we’ve missed the most important environment which is the internal environment. So if I can’t control this, if I’m in a relationship with my body thinking that my body is actually my enemy instead of my friend that my body is not to be trusted that my body is attacking me. Then heck yeah, I’m gonna get out. I’m either fighting back, I’m resisting it. I’m repressing, suppressing or I’m out of here. I am ejecting completely. But when we do that, instead of getting the relief that we want, we’re actually losing control. And I believe that’s the stem of anxiety and that’s, you know, in trauma, they talk about the two things that most trauma victims, it’s been taken away from them. It’s control and choice. Mm Yeah. And so when I eject from my body, I have taken all of my choices away and I have lost complete control of the most important environment, which is my internal environment. Great. Thanks for that. Yeah, Jackie, I’ll ask you the same question and relate it to like the binging, the, you know, it’s like, so when she is talking about like anxiety, it’s like that disconnection from, but when someone is binging and overeating and the food is just going in, you’re actually not present there. It’s just that like, sorry, I don’t wanna take let you the way that you would explain it. I am watching the time by the way. So we’re gonna have one more question after this for those who are listening. So we’ve got about 10 minutes left. Yeah. You know. Yes, I know the reason I made that face. It’s like it’s so true when we are literally shoveling food in our mouth. Like it’s just, it’s just this action and it, and it, it’s actually a way to gain control or ground in our bodies because when we come, when we become full now we feel our body. So the way I see it is and especially if you’re really busy and always doing, doing, doing or, you know, you have that high powered job where you’re the CEO right? You’re always thinking, thinking, thinking everything is here. Um We have no sense of what’s happening below, like we have no sense. And so it’s funny because if you ask people to, let’s just say, you know, I ask him someone who’s been binge eating for years. Hey, next time you get a craving stop for a second and take a breath. Right. If they actually pull it off, it’s this feeling of landing in your body and that’s where you get that. Aha. Like I don’t, I didn’t even know this existed, didn’t even know this was here. Didn’t even know this matter because I’ve been up here for so long that I like literally cut it off. But I personally did not realize that until, you know, I did not do the, the I did not pick up that food that I wanted to binge on. It was in that moment when I actually took a moment to take a deep breath and drop into my body that I realized that I wasn’t not there. Um So I’d say, you know, spinning mind, right? That spinning mind, we’re always up here. Um And yes, when we, when we are eating, when we are binging, we’re, we’re not, we’re not there. We’re just, the focus is all like hand to mouth, hand to mouth. Can I get it in quick enough and can I relieve this ungodly discomfort? I’m feeling, but you may not even realize you’re feeling that I don’t know if that’s a great point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it’s perfect. That is a great point where you, you just said, what if, if people could access this one moment? They like you just did, they would get it because we spend so much time teaching and educating and training and learning. Like, I, I mean, I have been training coaches for years now and the thing that humans have the hardest time doing is the navigating party part. We do great at investigating, at grounding and try like all those things. But the part that we struggle with is we don’t not take the action if we didn’t do, like, it’s like so much time thinking I shouldn’t be doing this shit. Why do I do it? I wish I wouldn’t do it. I wish I wouldn’t want to do it. But so much time in that and very little, I’d say I’m not even going to put a percentage on it. A very, very little. Do we not take the action? It’s like when I give the example of the Oreo Cookie and you’re standing at the counter and you’re doing the assessment and you’re going through all the thoughts and you’re going through. So it’s like you think, or credit this awareness, but then you still eat the damn cookie if you didn’t eat the cookie, if you did, didn’t quit when it was uncomfortable and kept doing the thing in that moment, Kaitlyn and I talk about this all the time when we stop feeling uncomfortable, we know we’re in trouble because we, we went back into some kind of habitual routine. So Jackie, I love that. You brought that home the, when you don’t do the thing in that moment, get some help, get, get a coach, get guidance, get, get your massage therapist or your practitioner or your yoga teacher to help you in the moment. I swear it will change your life and the trajectory of where this goes because we spend a lifetime studying and knowing. But it’s, it’s pulling the plug on the habit though in that moment. Just one time, just one time and stay 90 seconds. Yeah. So thank you for, for bringing that up. I love that Caitlyn. You wanna bring us home with, um, what does that mean out of the body? And how does it relate to what you’re doing with Aveda behavioral coaching? Um, integration? Hm. Yeah. So for me, out of the body, like Shar was saying, it’s a disconnect from, from the senses and from the sensations and that’s, um, like to me that’s not paying attention to what is going on and what you were even actually doing. So a lot of things that I do, um, with behavior as people are either in the future or they’re in the past. So they’re constantly thinking about things that they are going to do what’s coming next and that affects the posture that affects, um, the mind that affects everything about the body or they’re thinking about the past, they’re shaming themselves for what they did, what they didn’t do what they should have done. And so for me that is out of body, you’re either in the future or you’re in the past because if you’re in the present, then you are paying attention to what is going on. You are actually noticing the toothbrush hit your teeth. You’re smelling the lemon and the water that you’re drinking. You’re tasting the flavors of your food, right? That’s the biggest one that I teach my clients is actually being present with your food and tasting. What is there? what is there for you? Because when you do mcdonald’s don’t taste the same. Yeah. So it mindfulness, you know, being having your mind full of awareness of what is happening around you. Mm The the cleanse that Caitlyn does twice a year so hard because of this. It’s not like about doing a diet cleanse. It is about doing a distraction, cleanse all the things that you are distracted by that are preventing you from all of this simple awareness. It’s very simple is what you have to cut away and while living in a very, you know, active world and doing that cleanse. I don’t know what what your percentage is of someone who actually follows through, but I can guarantee you if they follow through, they are still there in your presence because it is so impactful, so powerful to actually be able to access that I will validate that after having just finished the clip. Uh Yeah, it’s a great segue to give you the experience. So then for the next six months until the next cleanse comes along. You are experiencing how it feels to be in the body because you did it for 14 days. Yeah. Um, Jackie, let’s talk about body work, massage and body work. And, um, I noticed when, when I was doing massage like, and, and actively in the practice, um, there were, you could tell the ones who actually weren’t in the body, they needed the deep tissue, they needed the trigger points, they needed that. Like, what did you have? You brought together unawareness around that, around the benefits of massage and helping? Like, because I think massage is like, honestly one of the most healing and beautiful practices so underrated in the world. Um something that so many people could access and it’s an array of benefits. What do you want to just kind of talk on that the, the being in the body or out of the body? And then because we, every one of you touched on the point of touch as being one of the practices to bring you home. So how would you advocate? It’s very interesting, like working with people, you know, let’s say we, you know, sometimes I’ll bring in breath, especially if there’s an area that’s really congested and very tight, you know, we’ll bring in breath as I’m working that area. And it’s amazing people can’t breathe. It might be like that’s the breath, it’s not, you know, and when I say, OK, but now on that anyhow, bring your breath all the way up and try to push my fingers out. Let’s say I’m doing trigger point work, right? I’m pulling the trigger point, try to push my finger out. I mean, they struggle but then it comes through, right? And I said, do you feel that difference how the breath moves through the whole body? They’re like, whoa, you know, like I didn’t even realize I had all that space or the client that says I want the tissue go as deep as you can go. You can’t hurt me. You know, and you’re going deep and they’re not, they’re not feeling it. They’re like, you could go deeper and you’re like, I mean, you got the point of your elbow in them and they’re like, you can go deeper and then I go, ah, they, they have no idea. They’re not in their bodies. So I actually pull back and I have them use their breath and I’m like, can you feel it now? And typically they can’t. So that’s the thing I see or people that keep coming back with the same stuff over and over again that’s just holding, you know, it’s like they’re, they’re determined to, like, I don’t know, get it out of there. But, I mean, they’ve been coming for like, three years and it’s still there, like, wanna address this in a different way. They just may not be just about physical issues, but I love that. That’s, that’s the connection guys between me and the massage therapist about Jackie in the middle of the night on Facebook in this exact conversation, how can massage therapy help their clients access more of the mental, emotional rather than just the physical? Like, what else is she was like, there’s got to be something else and I was like, yeah, absolutely. Here. I think it actually started off with you coming to do, like I was talking about doing massages at our retreats because we do bring in body work, we bring in food yoga, you know, so it’s like the movement, the breath work. Um So I love that you say that I noticed in massage school, I noticed that the person that was most disconnected um and ended up being my client that I, I trained with and she, it was very much like that. And then I started because it was in my awareness. I started seeing it, noticing it and it’s really one of the reasons I love body work massage. Um and going to Shar and Caitlin, it’s also the reason that I love yoga and you know that the other part. So what would you say? Um sure for the person, the practitioner who is like physically in the po you know, physically trying to push through it and isn’t getting access to that? How, how does that show up in yoga for you? We know with Caitlin, it shows up in the cleanse with him. Actually not following through with self-care. I think how it can show up in yoga. Is there attention and intention in yoga? And it, it played out in my life because I came from like sports and physical and weightlifting and like marathon running. And it was yoga is a lifestyle yoga is it means to yoke to bring together mind, body soul. But we, we really kind of misunderstand yoga when we all we look at is it’s just another workout. This is what I do on my rest day because that’s how I used to use yoga. I stumbled into yoga back in 2012 from doing P 90 X and Tony Horton was the yoga teacher. I would not recommend it. That that’s, he was shouting at me and he’s like, ah, so it was for me, yoga was like, oh, that’s my rest day workout and fast forward. 11 years later, I’m like, no yoga is my life. So, what I see in class, what I noticed is especially when it’s people who are coming more from the fitness realm. Um, and just because you’re working out and you’re like, training does not mean that you’re connected to your body. For me, my relationship to my body when I was doing heavier weightlifting and marathons and triathlons and, and soccer and football and all that stuff. It was, it, my, my body was just, uh, it was just a tool like I did not have a allyship with my body. I did not have a partnership or a friendship with my body. I punished my body often and I looked at my body as something that was either attacking me or betraying me like it was, it was not an ally ship. So when you come to yoga, from that perspective of my body is just a tool because I’m trying to lose weight. I need to be more flexible. You know, I’m trying to injury prevention, which is all good and well, but I see it in yoga classes with folks who are like, they’re so disconnected from their body that they will push themselves into a pose and potentially injure themselves because they’re just, they’re not, they’re not connected with themselves, they’re not connected with their sensations. They’re not connected with their capacity. They’re looking around the room and doing what you know, you teach us is the root of all suffering, which is judgment in comparison. They’re looking at the person in the room who has the best dancers pose and they’re like by God, I’m doing that pose. I am getting my toe over my head. So they’re very disconnected from the intention of yoking together, mind, body and soul and yoga. It’s just another way to abuse their body. So I hate to stop this. I could go for another hour but we are at time and we do have an E school call following. So I’m just gonna ask one question, which just is just gonna be a one sentence statement from each of you and then we’ll hop out of here and that is, I’ll lead with it by the way. And it’s like, where did you, where were you when you first found that moment of like, I remember I was at a yoga retreat and I was sitting on the mat and II, I am home, I wrote, I am home. I am home. Like it was like such a huge moment of realizing that I wasn’t before if any of you had that moment, like, do you remember where you were? Like, it could have been yesterday but, and because it’s just moments of time. Go ahead. Uh Kaitlin just, is there a moment you can remember specifically and still feel it. I was eating. I was eating and I took a bite of the food and it was just like, it was almost like the angels were just like, and it was something I eat all the time. It was a banana with almond butter on it. Something I eat all the time. And I was like, oh my gosh, this tastes so good. This feels so good. This is so satisfying. Um Yeah, I was eating a banana with almond butter. It would lead to what you do. Ok. How about you? Sure. Yeah, I, it was about a year ago and it, it’s, it wasn’t a visceral moment. Experience. It was a reminder. And it is this photo that’s sitting in my bathroom, which you can’t see all that well. But it’s a quote by Naira Waheed. And it’s just this, this representation of this woman who is so lovingly comfortable in her body. My best friend gave it to me. Uh I think last Christmas and the quote is, and I said to my body softly, I want to be your friend. It took a long breath and replied, I had been waiting my whole life for this. And the first time I saw this picture and that quote, everything became very clear to me like that is what I have been longing for 40 years of my life. And I keep coming back to this. It’s an ally ship. It’s a, it’s a friendship and, and for me learning about the nervous system and how it supports us was the logical click in my head of, oh, oh, my body has been my friend and partner and ally and champion my entire life. I have not been. Mhm. All right, Jackie. Well, said one second, one moment. No, actually, yeah. In all reality, you know, 51 years later, right. I’m in that moment of, I’m in driving, driving in the car, craving a Starbucks Christmas drink with all the sparkly pretty stuff on it. You know, and I can taste it. I can smell it. I can feel it go down my throat but I don’t do it. And then I have that I come through that and I’m driving home, I made it through, have that ma somatic release of just, you know, emotional release where I’m shaking and crying. I have no idea why. But I just not to breath, move the energy through, just keep moving it through. And on the other side of that I chose me and that was the day the food became neutral. You know, I didn’t know I existed. Mhm Such a great way to end. You know, I’m so grateful to have the framework that no matter where you find yourself out of life at any time, any moment, any challenge that we can find exactly where we are in those five steps. And it it it’s so simple, so simple and so profound. I wanna thank you all for coming today, sorry for the halt, but we gotta, we gotta get out of here and I will link everyone’s information below. You guys can find us in the more the mindset Facebook group and self telling masters as integrative mind, body coaches. So there’s these girls, ladies and more. All right guys have a great week. Thank you. Bye bye.

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