Ep #53: Stepping Into Being Seen with Dr. Danielle Perrodin

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Kim Guillory: Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back to the show. I have a treat for you today. Danielle Perrodin is here with us. She’s an integrative life coach who specializes in style and image consulting. She’s also a functional medicine pharmacist, and she’s here today to talk about her specialty, talk about what she does.

So, I’m going to tell you just a little bit of personal stuff about Danielle first. Danielle and I have done coaching together. She came through the Integrative Life Coach Program with me, and now, I am her client. I’m so excited. I was like, “We have to tell all of the people what’s happening here.”

So, I asked her to come onto the show to share a few secrets with you guys about how you can feel confidence, especially for rising leaders. You guys know who you are. You’re the ones who’s doing big things in the world, and you’re really good at the work that you do, and now, it’s time to go big. It’s time to step onto the stage. It’s time to be seen, and you are freaking out. So, welcome Danielle.

Danielle Perrodin: Thank you. I’m so excited to be here, and yes, it is definitely quite the change being on the other side of the coaching table.

Kim Guillory: Yeah, because I’m so easy to coach, right?

Danielle Perrodin: It’s like trying to teach the teacher. It’s quite interesting. That’s for sure.

Kim Guillory: We have a brain. That’s all I can say, is we have a brain. It believes its thoughts, and it’s crazy. It’s so crazy. When you’re coaching me, I can hear my voice and what you’re telling me, and I’m like, “But that’s not true. Not with me.”

Danielle Perrodin: Oh, yes. That’s your favorite go-to, “But I’m different. My brain is different.”

Kim Guillory: Yeah, but guys, you would have had to be with us when she was helping me clean out this closet. What did it take me, like three weeks?

Danielle Perrodin: Yes. Well, typically, I go through the closet if not the first call, the second, and definitely by the third. Yeah, you were not letting me have access to that closet. You were filling me with lots of lies that you believed yourself, and I bought them. I was in your pool. I totally believed that you had zero clothes that fit you.

Kim Guillory: Do you remember the shoe picture, like I had no shoes?

Danielle Perrodin: That’s whenever it was like come to Jesus, and I was like, “Okay, I just didn’t go to her closet because she has no idea what’s going on.” There were at least five pairs of the identical shoe.

Kim Guillory: It was at the back row with all the same shoes.

Danielle Perrodin: I was like, “Surely she is seeing what I’m seeing.”

Kim Guillory: Nope, not at all, guys. This is, I think, where Danielle and I fell in love with each other, is the love for the brain, like understanding how you seriously cannot see what you cannot see. It’s like it’s not there. It’s like when you’re looking for that pencil on your desk, but your thought is like, “Oh, it’s my favorite pencil. I’m afraid I lost it. I may never find it again,” and it’s sitting right there in front of you, but because you’re thinking that thought, you’re in a panic, and it’s so crazy.

That’s how it was with my closet, and that’s really why I wanted to bring you on and talk because I consider myself a thought leader, and I have a brilliant mind, and it’s on speed. My brain, it thinks really, really fast. It just fires. Yet, this stuff, this story, the stuff that you dig up, the skeletons that you pull out, the light that you shine on this staff is unbelievable. The change it has made in how I show up in my business, in how I show up in public, it’s crazy.

Then when I think about the stories about where I started before I started working with you compared to how I’m thinking now, and getting dressed in the morning, and having to show up on live video, and that’s really when the pain started, is when I had to present myself visually. I have been in a brick and mortar business for over 20 years since 1997. So, it was no problem being seen to those who saw me behind the four walls. I feel like these are your people, right?

We’re doing all of this amazing stuff behind the scenes. They are the pharmacists that are really making the change in the holistic world. They are those thought leaders that have been doing something amazing in the chemistry lab or in whatever their profession is. Then there comes a time for us to step into leadership. You got to get dressed for that stuff. Who knew?

Danielle Perrodin: You have to show up, and all of a sudden you have to deal with some demons. Like you said, shine the flashlight in the corners that you didn’t even know were there. Cobwebs. I can totally relate because this is why I want to help women like you because I decided I wanted to go live once a week and talk to my audience and share as I was learning. I was learning the law of attraction. I love the fact that when you teach something, you learn it in a totally different way. So, I was doing that, and yet, I could not press record. I was like, “Whoa, what is this?” I didn’t realize that I had such insecurities of being seen.

Kim Guillory: Did you feel the heat?

Danielle Perrodin: Heat and shame. I always thought I had the most positive attitude of everyone. All my friends, all my family, all my co-workers, but what I didn’t realize were the subconscious thoughts that I was having on repeat about myself.

Kim Guillory: So good. I think I was so safe behind the four walls of my business. I was successful. Everything I brought in and tried from cosmetology all the way to health coach, life coach, yoga, all of it, I hid behind the road like it had hair, and nails, tanning. That was my funnel. That was like the fake fur. That’s like the pharmacy, right? It’s like, “You got the sign. Heal your pain.” But then there’s so much that goes on behind all of that, behind the medication, behind the things that are taking place.

I remember when I had to step out from that and, “Okay, if I don’t have the fake business,” because what I really was teaching behind the scenes was health and wellness, and self-empowerment, and just improving your life in general, and really women stepping into the roles of who they were, and not being oppressed and suppressed, and holding themselves small, especially in a rural area here. It was tough. I think it’s the same exact thing that I had to experience again going online.

So, the same way I had to start speaking in the local business, not had to, but I chose to start speaking about health and wellness. When they were talking about boudin cracklins, and for you guys who are listening who are not Cajun, this is just what they eat. When I started talking about that, I had so much shame. It’s like I was turning my back on the tribe, like thrown out of the club.

So, when it came to start putting myself, my face to it online, because that was happening in the local business, exactly like you said when I started doing the lives shame. Shame, like when you feel heat in your body, when you go to put out and you feel heat rising, that is shame. Shame is hot.

Danielle Perrodin: Yeah, it’s that fear of rejection. So, your fake business was your security blanket. You have always got on right under it. I know right. It was hard for me to go live knowing that I worked in hospitals. So, it’s not that I was in front of the public, but I was in a hospital, and hospitals are like a small family to begin with. So, I was nervous that someone that I work with would come on, and see me, and judge me or question why I was doing what I was doing.

I remember one time a physician actually, he was a physician of our pharmacy and therapeutics group, so he was the chairman. I saw his name pop up in the feed when it said I was live, and it was like, “Oh, God. Talk about get hot. I was burning like fever and just try to compose myself and get off as quickly as I can.”

Kim Guillory: I love that you’re saying that because I had the same thing happened when I was talking about suicide on one of my Facebook lives, and I was talking about my 20 years of the suicide tendencies, and the antidepressants, and all that, how it shut down my emotions, and my doctor, who was actually my doctor at the time, popped up on my live, and I was like, freak. I’m like, “Oh, my God. I’m going to get arrested.” It’s so crazy.

Danielle Perrodin: Right, because you feel like an imposter, number one, yourself, and then when you’re just now starting to grow into this new identity and accept her, then you see someone else, it’s almost like you’re in their mind. So, all of the nurses that watched me, they would just cheer me on. I had some that quit smoking, lost weight just by watching my live videos once a week.

Kim Guillory: This is what I experienced, and I think you’re saying the same thing, is whenever you’re experiencing the shame, it’s because you’re serving yourself. You’re not serving your client.

Danielle Perrodin: Right.

Kim Guillory: You’re only thinking about yourself, and how you’re going to look, and how you’re going to show up, and how people are thinking about you. When we focus our mind, just like in this interview right here, this is the very first interview I do, and you and I both went into this with the intention of what’s something that they can take away from it, how can we serve? Then as we dropped into that, it was like, let’s just see. Let’s see. What can we give? It doesn’t matter what we look like, it doesn’t matter what we sound like.

Danielle Perrodin: Who can we help? What do we have to offer? Yup.

Kim Guillory: Just by being yourself, just by having a casual conversation and sharing, especially these heartfelt experiences that were so tough because for me, I have five children, a husband, two business, and all that stuff, but nothing as important as the work I do in the world. For me, my heartthrob, what makes me feel satisfied, fulfilled, coming alive. I know this is for your particular clients also, right, because we are the rising leaders.

We are the ones who are on the front line saying, “Hey, that might be true, but this might be true also. This is what we figured out,” but it hasn’t been documented. We are the trendsetters. We are the ones lighting the fire. We’re creating the bonfires. So, yeah, it’s going to bring up all of that stuff. It’s super scary. Super scary.

I think what I was surprised by is I had already experienced the discomfort in the brick and mortar and had already experienced when I started moving into the health and wellness. I was kind of surprised I was going to experience it again online. I was mind blown. We know how we do anything is how we do everything, and we know that our crap story is going to come up every time we up level, but I somehow forgot. I’ll share the story with you and I.

So, I think when I called you, I had already caught on to the insecurities. You had called me out on it a few times. You loved what I was teaching and coaching. You’re one of my clients, and you could see where my limitations were, and I was fighting it, and resisting it, and it didn’t matter what I looked like. None of that mattered. I just wanted to be casual, and as easy as possible, and not being seen.

Then I was nominated for woman of the year, and in the same week, I was receiving an award for the top earner in the life coach school. That was all happening within a week’s span, and I freaked out. I freaked out because you know my story, I have nothing to wear.

Danielle Perrodin: Yes, I know that story all too well. Whenever that came up with the clothing, I recognize it immediately because we had discussions before where I helped coach you before on other issues. So, I knew it was that FORO, fear of running out, that you had. You felt like there was never anything to wear, and then you would buy, and a lot of times you were repeating, and you had absolutely no idea what was in your closet, first of all, to go shopping.

So, you were just afraid you were going to run out. Instead of buying one, you bought two of the same thing when you probably had three of the exact same thing already in your closet. So, of course you had no idea what to wear because you, number one, couldn’t find it. Number two, there was just too much clutter and crap. No wonder.

Kim Guillory: Yeah, and while I was shopping, when I was at the store, I would pick it up. I would buy it in case I needed it because I knew I can’t ever find anything. So, if I found something, I had to buy it because I knew I’d never find it again. So, I kept buying it, and I noticed myself repeatedly giving things to the church with tags on it. My kids, if my kids are listening to this, they can validate it, but I would give away like 12 pairs of shoes, never worn, and it was the same thing with shirts that still had tags on them.

I always got stuff from Stitch Fix because I didn’t know how to shop. I couldn’t find anything. So, I had to get someone else to do it. Then I hired this lady from somewhere else to send me things. Really, guys, it was insane how I think I may have been extreme.

Danielle Perrodin: Well, you’re not the only one. So many women do this, and they validate themselves if they’re given to charity and they’re helping out.

Kim Guillory: That part actually made me sick. That’s really where their pains were. When I noticed I kept calling the church or kept giving to, that part was literally making me sick to my stomach, but I couldn’t let go of the story because I couldn’t see the story. I’m telling you, there was nothing to fit me. I’m telling you, they could’ve made me choose life or death to let that story go, and I would not have.

The work I had to do, the internal work and the shift, was really to go back to the story when I did not have a parent to take me shopping, when I had nothing to wear, or whenever my friends would go to the mall, or buy a new shirt. It was so real. I’m still carrying all those beliefs. So, I would go to the store. My daughter-in-law was laughing at me because I had so many of these little booties and so many colors of boots, but I never had anything to wear.

I think it was really trusting you and the way you handled me, and you allowed it to just take your time, and don’t be in a hurry, and let’s just start with this one little thing, and I fought you. I was like ready to get it all. I was like, “Nope, we need to throw it all, and then we need to start.” The way you handled my brain, I was able to drop the resistance, and at some point, trust you, but it took a while. You told me several times like, “You’re still not listening, Kim.” If I’m not mistaken, when I first asked you to coach me, you were like, “Ugh.”

Danielle Perrodin: Because I had coached you before, and I know how you do things, and you just take one piece of material, and you take off with it. You’re like, “Okay, I got this,” and you try to swim on your own. It doesn’t help with the process.

Kim Guillory: Let’s stay here for a second. Let me cut you off for a second, if you don’t mind. Let’s really stay here because I believe these thought leaders, these rising leaders, I believe that is how something that we can identify ourselves as. We’re like, “Just give me the little taste, and we’re going to figure it out.” Totally got it on our own. Right? Tell me what I’m missing? Do you find that familiarity?

Danielle Perrodin: Yes, I do, and I was guilty as well with that. You want the information, tell me how, and then I’ll take it off and go do it on my own, but you need that support because it’s hard.

Kim Guillory: Now, I’ve been doing this personal development work forever. Seriously, I could totally have figured it out on my own. I had all of the resources of why didn’t I? I truly believe it’s the skillsets, and I know from our work together what that skillset is, and I think it took that for me to trust it. I knew I had this secret ingredient, and it worked for everything else, and I’m like, “Well, she knows it. It’ll probably work.” It’s so hardcore, but I’ll tell you what’ll make the biggest change.

I’m speaking to those other rising leaders who are like me, who we are so super smart, and we can figure out anything, and if we’re so smart, why can’t we get beyond this? Why do we still feel the heat and shame in our body? It’s truly because of the in between work that you do. That inner work that you took me through and allowed me to take as long as it took. I don’t want to say all of your process, but it was when you kept not letting me go ahead.

Danielle Perrodin: Yes. I think that’s what’s so different about my process because there are some great programs out there, and they work, I’m sure, very well, but for me, with any area of my life, there was just this taking it slow, breaking it down to small, bite-sized pieces. That just was the key factor for me long ago, and that’s why I show up and help women, but we don’t just dump out your closet and go through it in three or four hours.

Kim Guillory: And I wanted to.

Danielle Perrodin: Yes, you did.

Kim Guillory: I really wanted. I even went against your ways. I even did it.

Danielle Perrodin: You did, and that’s great, but I had to bring you back in because that could be so much overwhelm, and if you don’t pay attention and you’re not present and aware, you miss the lesson.

Kim Guillory: I’m like, “But I’m so tough. I can totally just wipe it all out and deal with it. I know how to process emotion. I got it.” You were like, “Okay, she’s been trained well.”

Danielle Perrodin: I have been trained very well, and really, what I had told you was that you can hire a stylist to come and do this. They have stylists that come and clean out your closet, but you’re going to be dependent on that stylist for the rest of your life. So, I showed you how to transform your own closet.

Kim Guillory: The money to save, I can’t even imagine how much money I will save because I don’t have to buy something every time I go, and guys, you have to know, I hate to shop, hate it. So, when I would go, I would try to get it over with. I would buy a whole bunch of stuff so I would never have to do it again.

My belief was I’ll never find anything that fits me, nothing fits me right, if I did find something that fit, I got every single color. When you asked me to pull out the top, the cardigans. And you’re always like, “Oh, I probably have like a dozen.” You’re like, “Okay, surely she’s exaggerating,” and at number 10, you were like, “Okay, I believe you.”

Danielle Perrodin: I’m like, “We’ve already processed the same item 10 times, so we’re good. Just apply to the rest of them.”

Kim Guillory: Different colors, right, just different colors. So, that’s the kind of thing, and it was pointed out to me. My kids were noticing, people had pointed it out. Do you remember the shirt, the one that I had with the yoga shirt that I had like 10 of them? It was every single color. That was in the thick fabric. Then in the thin fabric, same exact shirt, I had all of the other colors, and it was so hard. I’m embarrassed. I’m kind of heated. I’m hot.

Danielle Perrodin: You’re sweating now. You’re okay.

Kim Guillory: I really wanted to come on and talk about the transformation of this because it has been so impactful, and I know I send you texts all the time. I feel like I’m half of my body weight. I missed family weddings. I missed important funerals. I missed grandchildren’s birthday parties because I had so much shame about what not to wear, and not being comfortable in my own body, and not being comfortable in my own skin, but just the clothes, and for sure I didn’t have anything to wear. Total lie.

Is it insane that the mind comes up with that? The most important things in my life. Then loving my work and being so satisfied and fulfilled and actually being honored, getting the recognition, and I couldn’t handle it. So, I had these two beliefs going on like, “Hey, look at me, look at me, look at me. I have something important, and don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me.”

My son said, “Mom, I was so surprised,” because my husband is not social. I’m kind of social within my work, but I’m not really like social out there, but he’s not at all. He doesn’t need people. So, we get there, and she was like, “Dad was talking to everyone, and you were hiding in a corner, and you were the guest of honor.” I was sweating, Danielle.

I know Mallory is listening to this. Mallory was sitting at my table. It was unbelievable. I could not get up. I did not introduce myself to anyone, and they kept coming and mentoring me to meet people. I would say hello, and I’d run back to that seat. I made sure I was against the wall so I could see the stage, but there was no one behind me.

Danielle Perrodin: Right. That’s with anything in life that it has to get so bad, and you have to be so desperate, that you’ll get out of that comfort zone to make a change. So, with any transformation, it’s hard work. It’s not for the weak.

Kim Guillory: I just kept bypassing it because I went through this. This started before high school, so I just told you how long it went, and it showed up at homecomings for my kids, at graduations, at senior trip. I have five kids, so we went through a lot of things. It showed up every single time, and I just kept white-knuckling it, and I just kept will-powering. Then when I noticed that the awards were getting bigger, the sweat, and the heat, and the shame was getting bigger. It just didn’t make sense.

Danielle Perrodin: It was as if you had solved all the problems in your life, except for this one was unsolvable, and you had to accept it.

Kim Guillory: Which was being me. The one was like being the me who was doing the thing. It was okay for me to do it, but it was not okay for me to be seen doing it.

Danielle Perrodin: As the face of it. That is what I’m trying to help entrepreneurs right now. In this day and age, we have this huge platform where you could reach millions and millions of people to get your word out, and if you know that you are going to impact so many people, you have a strong desire. Let’s just face it, if it was just for you, you would not be interested in going live. You’d be like everyone else and not do it, but when you have this calling and you know you want to reach more people, then you have two desires.

You have a desire to be seen and heard, get your message out, and then you have a desire to hide and not be seen, and it’s so painful. What I have learned this last year is that that pain comes from the contrast of who you truly are and the thoughts that you’re having about yourself. That’s where the pain comes in.

Kim Guillory: Yeah, judgment and comparison. It’s just of ourselves.

Danielle Perrodin: Right, judgement and comparison is so painful, but if you could start to recognize that pain as an indicator. So, I like to think of it as an indicator in like check engine light in your car. So, it’s just on. You could keep driving your car, but you may have issues down the road. So, then the pain is the indicator, and then you question what are my thoughts that’s in contrast to who I believe I am?

Kim Guillory: You know how long it took me because a year before that, or right at the year, right when I did the, “Hey, I went online.” I was like, “Hey, I need this style coach or this fashion coach.” I knew there was a problem. Do you remember that? I have to fix this problem. Of course, my belief is it’s not available for me. I don’t have what I need. So, it was like, “I will train someone to be this person for me.” Like it’s not available. I can’t have it. It’s kind of like going shopping. There’s really not going to be anything that fits.

So, I put that out there, and so a few people answered and we tried. Every single event, and these are not the first things I was nominated for or shown up for, and I was having this issue. Every single one, I said, “This is it. This will never happen again.” Every time I had to do a photo shoot, every time I went to an event, “This will never happen again. Kim, you’re going to get this. We have to get this.”

I would try to be compassionate with myself, but I swear to you, I did not have the tools to get it. I didn’t have the tools that you showed me. Is that crazy? In the training and stuff and all of the stuff that we shared together, but I could not see it without someone else.

Danielle Perrodin: Yeah, it’s the protection. Your brain is protecting you, and it was holding on tight. It reminds me of at retreat, at the last retreat, whenever we did that session, and I was working through not being seen and wanting to be seen, and I had a block, and we worked through it. I was able to let go, but then there was a second one that showed up, and I could not let it go, even though I was thinking of it. It was very far.

Kim Guillory: Yeah, you go to be able to get beyond that.

Danielle Perrodin: It was difficult.

Kim Guillory: That’s where I wrote about this in the book. It’s like you have to get to that T in the road to where the pain of moving forward exceeds the pain of now. That’s truly what had happened. I was willing to experience whatever I had to experience. I don’t know if it could have been anybody else but you, to be honest. It took a lot, and it was tough. It was hard to turn the roles to go from the coach to the client. That’s my own stuff.

At the same time, I was like, “How long do you want to hold onto this?” Just like I would have asked you, “How long do you want to suffer through this? How long do you want to keep this?” I heard in my head like, “It’s time. It’s my time. People need this. I need to get out there and get this, and this is the thing that’s stopping me”.

This is the crazy part too because I’m not in lack. I can buy whatever I want. I can buy whatever clothes. So, it’s not about waste. I want to cry now when I talk about it, but it was like I had so much compassion for her who didn’t have it when she needed it. That’s what was so hard to let go of, was like but she might need it. If I get rid of it, if I move it.

It was so steel real, and to be free from that, preteen all the way through high school, and then through the early stages with my children with that part where you’re actually coming out as who you are. I didn’t have the guidance. I remember sitting at my desk. I knew I needed a bra. This is crazy to talk about on the podcast, but I just got embarrassed, and I was like, “Who do you go to, to ask for this?”

So, clothes and wearing and dressing was such a big deal. Not having a parent or parents too. It’s a part of our growing. We don’t see the importance. The teenagers or the young kids and what they wear. I remember my granddaughter, Ella, she has these I think it’s pink cowboy boots. Even at a young little kid, that is her expression. I missed all of that, and I’m wondering how many of us missed that. In our case, we had four kids, the house burnt, and they had to wear what people gave us. We had no money.

Danielle Perrodin: We’re creative human beings, and we just feel like we’re growing whenever we’re being created. We just feel fulfillment. That’s definitely something that I get what you’re saying. You didn’t have the items, but just someone who doesn’t have crayons, they could color with fruit. They can have that. But I think your story was so locked into that, and you can tell now just how emotional you get into it, and it goes deeper than that. It goes into why.

Kim Guillory: When you are in high school and you are different, so much shame from that. Right? That was still locked in my body.

Danielle Perrodin: Right. It was your story.

Kim Guillory: I knew it. I had plenty of money. I could have bought whatever I wanted, but because there was nothing, because that was my thoughts, it was surely nothing. It didn’t matter. I didn’t give away cheap clothes. I’m telling you, I would go to the store literally. I remember going here in L.A., and I told the lady, I was like, “If you find something that looks good on me, I will buy whatever you put.” That was quite a few years ago. So, it just tells you how long this has been going on.

So, I can’t say enough about how grateful I am, and I know I tell you that all the time. I’m sending messages, and I was like, “We’ve got to get you on because I know there are other people like me that have this block, and it’s actually preventing what they have to offer the world and getting it out there to the people they need it.” That is number one what this podcast is about. It was like how can we show up and offer something that is different and unique, provide resources, and talk about things that are uncomfortable?

Danielle Perrodin: Yeah, and it was an honor to support you in this way for sure, but you showed up and you did the hard work

Kim Guillory: You were laughing because I’m heading to Atlanta, and I was telling her, I was like, “No, I just got an email. I’ve been invited to a special dinner for an event.” I’m like, “No. What are you going to do?” She’s like, “We got it. We got it.”

Tell us. I say us. Tell other rising leaders, these entrepreneurs that are hiding behind the four walls, that are hiding behind the pharmacy counter. They’ve been doing their work. They put their 10, 20 years in. They have something unique and special. They have something different. They are ready to go on the front line. They are the thought leaders. They are bringing in holistic because that’s a big part of what you do, right?

You still have your foot in the pharmacy world, and a lot of the clients that you work with, they are pharmacists, they are functional pharmacists, and they’re actually bringing in the holistic lifestyle to integrate with that, and they’re actually the educators, and the teachers, and the leaders of it. So, they need this representation, and that’s why they’re coming to you. Is that correct?

Danielle Perrodin: Yes, that is correct. They want to be seen. They want to get their message out there, and unfortunately you can’t do it hiding on your sofa. I like to talk about Steve Jobs because he had a very minimalistic wardrobe. He did not have to think at all about what he was wearing, but he already had Apple and all of that. So, you have to get there, and then once you get there, you could show up and dress however you feel, but in the meantime, we need you to become that woman now.

Kim Guillory: I think the creative expression is important. I’m telling you. The healer who does inner work, I didn’t think it mattered at all, and I know that’s what holistic health and wellness leaders, we know the magic is in the energy work. It is in the other. So, I’ve totally wrote off the importance, but we’re on an online world. It’s not going to work.

You or your brand, and the way you show up, and the image that you represent, and that creative expression. Like are you the girl in pink? Are you the girl in green? That part I’m talking about that brought me to tears earlier that I had never figured out. I was like plain Jane. Don’t want to stand out. I don’t want anyone to see me. Right? That was always the plan, been the plan for 40 years, and then all of a sudden, you want to be seen. I was like, “I have no idea.”

Danielle Perrodin: Your style is your message, and your message is going to attract your ideal clients, your tribe, those that need you most. So, what is that?

Kim Guillory: Brand.

Danielle Perrodin: Are you soft? Are you edgy? Are you confident? Are you fun, flirty? There’s so many.

Kim Guillory: That was so fun when you asked me those questions, and she does this, guys. She would send me the stuff to answer, and of course, I would not want to do my homework. I’m like, “I don’t have to do my homework. I’m smarter than that. Just ask you the question.” You’re like, “Kim, there’s a process, and you’re not following it.” I’m like, “Oh, it’s so hard.” Game changer, but hard. Right? So, you said you were going to talk about the three F’s of fashion and give them a secret. Just what do you want to tell them?

Danielle Perrodin: So, what I wanted to share with your listeners are the three F’s of fashion because I think if you can make it simple, that’s part of my thing, is make it simple, make it easy because that’s just how our brains are. So, the three F’s of fashion are fit, feelings, and function. You just have to really break it down into those three categories. If you’re not thinking of those three things, then that’s probably why you don’t have anything to wear.

So, fit, that’s pretty self-explanatory. It has to fit. It needs to be your size. I think a lot of women are steel dressing their size that they wore a year ago or trying to. So, when they go into the dressing room, and they used to be a size four, and they try the size fours, and they’re really a size eight now, that’s going to make them feel like crap, and they’re not going to find anything to wear.

Also, if you lost a hundred pounds, and you go into the dressing room, your brain, a lot of times, you’re still in that identity of that larger size. So, you try on all kinds of bigger clothes, or you still want to hide your body, and fit is everything. It’s just not going to work.

So, that’s something that we have to work on and get you clothes that fit you. Get the clothes that highlight your best features. What do you love about yourself? Not necessarily what I think is your best feature, but what do you love about yourself and highlight those areas.

The other thing is feelings. So, I want my clients to, I say, be her now. That is my biggest secret. It’s how do you want to feel when you become her? Then we create that feeling in you now, and then you work to become her and close that gap between where you are now and where you want to go. The failings are everything, and that’s where we get into how do you want your clothes to make you feel? Do you want to feel confident? Do you want to feel comfortable? What is most important to you?

So, I had a client who she likes to feel edgy. She drives Harley Davidsons, and she goes to Renaissance festivals, and she has all this fun stuff, but then if you looked at our closet, it said nothing about that except for maybe a couple of items she loved, but then she had no clue how to wear them. She had nothing to wear with them. So, that was a big, big aha moment for her. So, that was fun.

If you’re a marathon runner three days out of the week, then you need clothes to run in. You don’t need a power suit necessarily, but it’s just understanding how those clothes fit you, how you want to feel showing up, and what your true day-to-day life looks like.

Kim Guillory: Yeah, this is really good. Every single shirt I tried on, you were like, “Who are you buying this for? It looks like you’re wearing a tent. What is happening here?” It was crazy.

Danielle Perrodin: I was guilty. I had the oversized shirts, and I thought I was rocking them hiding the areas that I wanted to hide, but what it really actually does, it brings more attention.

Kim Guillory: I was like, “It does, but I can’t find anything that fits.” You’re like, “Well, that doesn’t fit neither.” Like, “Oh, that makes sense.” There was just some things that were really simple, but you were able to bring them in, and the feeling, oh, hell. I remember that too, it’s like it felt terrible, but I wasn’t aware because I wasn’t focused on that. You know what I thought it was supposed to be? Like comfortable. It was not comfortable to be in something that didn’t fit. It was not comfortable to feel ugly in the clothes. That was not comfortable. I was totally fooling myself.

Danielle Perrodin: You’re right. You were literally not comfortable in your skin, and you were proving it to everyone.

Kim Guillory: Yes. I remember when I was waiting for my name to be called on stage at the Mastermind, and I was like, “Listen, this is the last time you’re ever going to feel like this. I’m done with this, and you can let it go right now. Exactly what you said. You can be her right now,” and really dropping into that.

I practiced for the next couple of days because peers would come up to me and tell me congratulations, and my job was receive. Could you just receive that and drop in because what’s the norm? We immediately go into rationalizing and saying how we aren’t comfortable. That was the norm. Right? That comes back to that feeling. I felt appreciation for myself, for the work I did, for the recognition I was receiving.

Danielle Perrodin: What I learned early on is that when someone congratulates you or compliments you, we have that resistance to it, but it gives more attention to ourselves. So, if we’re like, “Oh, this old thing?” Or, “I’m ugly.” Whatever it is, it’s more attention about yourself. Instead, they congratulated you, they complimented you. If you tell them thank you and have appreciation, that’s about them. You’re honoring them and their action.

Kim Guillory: I could talk another hour because the one last thing I want to mention is when I saw a picture of myself, it’s not what I saw in my head, and that was starting to freak me out, how often I was seeing that, that blurred self-image. I don’t know if you said it or I said it, but it was suddenly this moment of like, “Actually, I’m not that out of proportion from the rest of the world,” but I had been seeing that I was. I was way taller than anyone else. My feet were way bigger. My hips didn’t match. I had all of these, and you wouldn’t let up.

You’re like, “Actually, you’re just going to be here now, and we’re going to fit her right now.” I tried on jeans, the ones that you told me not to that I’d moved and gotten rid of because I was so overwhelmed. I told you a couple of weeks ago, like I had this back fat, and it’s like I had put on all this weight, but those jeans still fit. It didn’t make sense. The evidence started outweighing those old stories. Does that make sense?

Danielle Perrodin: Yeah, it does. I don’t weigh myself, but if I think that I’m not showing up, I’m not doing the things I’m supposed to be doing, I’m eating bad, or just not exercising, in my mind, I’ve already added five pounds.

Kim Guillory: Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I thought that would be a great takeaway for people to understand, is when we think that, we create that. I’m like, “What’s happening?”

Danielle Perrodin: Getting you back in your body, out of your head. That’s all it took.

Kim Guillory: So, we’re going to wrap this up. Let these guys know where can they find you?

Danielle Perrodin: Yeah, I’m having fun exploring LinkedIn. You can find me. I have a website. It’s DaniellePerrodin.biz, and you could just contact me. Just reach out.

Kim Guillory: So, who are we calling out to here? Who do you work with specifically?

Danielle Perrodin: So, I work with entrepreneurs who want to be seen, want to be the face of the brand. They understand the importance of showing up and giving the right message to their ideal clients, and they want to make a huge impact on the world. They’re making a difference, and they want some support.

Kim Guillory: All righty, guys. We’re going to wrap this up. Thank you, Danielle for coming on. It was super fun. I hope I didn’t drown out the story. I know I had a lot of story here, but I had so much drama.

Danielle Perrodin: No, it’s been great. I had so much fun working with you, and I cannot wait to go shopping for formals.

Kim Guillory: I know, it’s going to be cool. All right, guys.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.