Ep #224: Believing Better with Brittany Presnull

In this powerful conversation, Brittany Pressnull shares her self-healing journey and how it has transformed her life. As a massage therapist, Brittany opens up about the struggles she faced in finding a sustainable business model and how she had to rely on last-minute client calls for income. This lifestyle impacted not only her business but her personal health and relationships as well.

Listen as we explore Brittany’s evolution to finding inspiration and embracing her individuality, and the moments that empowered her, from attending live events, and listening to podcasts, to joining the More Than Mindset Facebook group for support.

Brittany shifted her struggles to success and learned to see the beauty around her. 

Register for MISSION POSSIBLE: WELLNESS WEEK LIVE, June 19-23, 2023. A FREE 5-Day Wellness Series for coaches, healers, practitioners, and anyone on the healing path who wants to learn how to take control of their health & wellbeing. Sign up HERE.

 

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • Why embracing individuality is necessary for self-healing for personal and business growth
  • How Brittany transformed her life and business by shifting from feeling ashamed to creating her own version of success
  • The impact of personal growth has on family relationships and clients
  • How integrating coaching with a massage business can lead to a sustainable and successful business model

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

 

Full Episode Transcript:

Ep #224: Believing Better with Brittany Presnull

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Kim: Hello and welcome. We are continuing with the Believing Better Series. My guest today is Brittany Pressnull, and we are talking about her experience with using the self-healing model and how her life has changed in the past three years. So just tell us a little bit about yourself, where you’re from, and what you do.

Brittany: So, I am Brittany Pressnull, and I’m from Jennings, Louisiana. I’m a massage therapist, going on eight years this year. I’ve just been staying busy with that and, of course, been learning the different models to implement in my business and to use across the board for now coaching. So it’s just been a lot of things going on right now.

Kim: Okay. So let’s talk about, first of all, what brought you to this work? You were already a massage therapist and had an interest in learning what or changing what? What did your life look like before?

Brittany: Before, I was just winging it, taking a bunch of different classes. I liked meeting new people, so I would always go to in-person continuing education classes for massage. I was always looking for the next modality to heal that person. I was learning the new technique, whatever it was. I just happened to look into stretching, which was a class that came up.

And I was like, okay, let me just try this out. And then I don’t know, I was really almost on the edge of finding a different job, going back into the regular nine to five, or just having a predictable income. Because I was very unpredictable. I felt like I needed to make more but couldn’t give up more time. And so it was just really getting monotonous; it just felt like it was not going to get any better. Okay. So then, yeah, with each technique, it really opened the door. I thought it was going to be the thing to help make more money.

 

Kim: Okay, so what I’m hearing you say is you were a massage therapist, you did have clients, but you continued to run into the problem of not having sustainability or predictability in your massage business. So what did it actually look like at that time, like the business, because what I’m hearing you say is when things would get quiet and unsustainable, you would go and grab the next new thing so that you could market and promote that? Because maybe that would be the thing that created the sustainability. Is that correct?

Brittany: So with me always trying to wing it, that would come with thinking the new fad, the new talk about the new thing. That was sorry, just always looking for the next thing that was going to help. Yes, boost my client income and make them consistent. Make them just on their own, want to start coming without me having to do too much.

Kim: So approximately how much money were you making as a massage therapist back then? You said it’s inconsistent, but like an average. What were you expecting a week or a month?

Brittany: Monthly, I was making about 2,500 on a good month, 3,000. And that was literally, I would be open for business almost all day, but it was hit and miss. I’d have two this week or 10 this week; it was just hit and miss. I didn’t really have a goal.

Kim: So you had weeks where there was white space, and you were just sitting there, and your mind was like, “We’ve got to go figure out something else to sell.”

Brittany: Yeah, basically. And for your clients, was gaining the new modalities the answer to sustainability? Did that make them more consistent? Did that make them stay? Like, how was that experience?

Brittany: No, they would come and try it. But then they wouldn’t get back with me, or they would hit and miss, come every three months, come once a year. It was just, I was that person that was hit and miss. I was open and available. So they felt like they could call last minute and book, which is how they saw me.

Kim: I shouldn’t use the word booty call when we’re talking about massage, but it’s that last minute. I’m in pain. I need the band-aid fix, I need the “Hey, I’m in a bind. Can you help me?” And you’re like, yes, I’m always here. So you were basically on standby rather than having a business, a predictable business model.

Brittany: I felt like I needed to help everyone. So it was like if they call me and they need me, then I’ll be there. I can always be available for that person in need at that moment.

Kim: And what was that creating for you? Like, what was the turnout of being available all the time and trying to be that person who’s like never says no?

Brittany: I lost myself, and I couldn’t find a balance for where I could do things for me. As far as wanting to be healthier and working out and stuff, I just didn’t know when that would be possible. And then with the kids, I felt like that would cut into their time in the afternoons, or they would come with me in the afternoons or on the weekends. So yeah, it just really cut into everything, my home life, my personal life.

Kim: So I just want to make sure that I’m hearing you correctly. I actually don’t know this part of the story. But I remember having a business model myself where I was always available, and it was inconsistent, and I was always doing whatever it would take to get them in that day or that week in order to have a steady flow. Because there’s nothing worse than white space. Ugh. It feels terrible. And it was not only happening in the business, but it was also actually happening with the kids and your personal care, your workout. So your workout was inconsistent, your kids’ routines were inconsistent. Sometimes they came to work with you.

Sometimes you’re passing them off in order to grab that last-minute client to make the $2,500 a month. Is that what it looked like? Yes, it was. How was this affecting your relationships?

 

Brittany: It was very wishy-washy because with one friend, I was always available, but then with the next friend, it was like I couldn’t be there. And then with the next friend, it’s like I was there again, all over the place. Even with friends trying to have a relationship, it was just that I didn’t have time for anybody. I didn’t even have time for what I did have on my plate, much less adding more on. It felt really used overall because, yes, I know now I was creating it, but I didn’t see where I was allowing myself to be used in that way.

Kim: So it’s just how it was, it’s just the nature of the business to you. Yeah, that’s what it is to be a massage therapist. Yep. Okay. Where did you get that idea from? Is that how you were supposed to be doing it?

Brittany: My parents always raised us with work being the priority. Work was always first, and they did the same with us. We helped them in order to pay our tuition at the Christian school. We would help clean the gyms on the weekends after the basketball games, before church, and after church. We were very much involved in all of that with them. So between staying busy with school, sports, cleaning, and being very responsible for a lot of those things, it carried on into adulthood. Once I had kids, I just kept moving in that direction, putting everything on top of what I was already doing.

Kim: I actually love that. There’s a lot about it, you know me well enough to know I do love all of us being personally responsible, but I’m curious how that felt for you. That you were always available, and you always were on top of your game, and your doors were always open, and then you were still getting this inconsistency.

Brittany: It felt like I was on a pedestal that I wasn’t allowed to step off of. So from the outside, it looked like I had it all together. But on the inside and at home, I was very miserable, and I really didn’t have any true connection to anyone because I wasn’t truly myself for anyone. So, I guess you can say I was a chameleon, but I really don’t even think I fit in very well. I just bounced around and looked like the person who was productive and had their shit together. Deep down, I really didn’t feel like I was doing it for myself because I kept leaving myself out. So, why did I have to keep giving to everyone? I had to keep giving to everyone when I was doing it for, you know what I’m saying? Like, I can see it now, but back then, it was very lonely. I was very alone, and I was just being used constantly rather than them seeing what I should be doing differently. They would say, “Oh no, you’re busy with the kids. Go ahead and take that time off.” I was expecting them to do that for me, but I was available.

Kim: So there’s a lot of dissonance between needing to not look like I’m failing, like I’ve got my shit together, and doing really well because then more people would want me. But it wasn’t real; it wasn’t even real. So they actually can’t find us when we’re not being ourselves, when we are faking or pretending or hiding the shame. Then we’re so disconnected from ourselves that we actually can’t attract more clients.

But we keep doing the thing that we were told to do, which is to be available. Okay, that’s how it was. And then you started doing some personal development work. We met on the path. You had already been doing some different things. You were starting to take note that this is not how it’s going down. Something’s got to change for me, for my business, for my kids, for my relationship. So tell me a little bit about that. What was the awakening moment of not going to keep doing this anymore?

Brittany: I think I had just been struggling for so long, feeling so heavy, and like no matter what I tried, different groups, whether it was online or in person, I just felt like I never had a true connection with anyone, much less myself.

Like I still felt like I’m good around these people going out to go home. I was still like very alone. And I remember saying that out loud and my daughter even said, but Mama we’re here. And I’m like, why do I feel like I’m so alone, but yet I still have my little people with me. And I just, it just started clicking.

I’m like, how come these people are like single or alone and they’re just trapping the world and enjoying it? And I’m like, can I have everyone around? Like I have a good little family that’s always there to support me and stuff, but I still felt so alone. So it’s like how I don’t know, I just saw people just really enjoying themselves and I wanted what everybody else had, I never didn’t have it in within myself.

And I was just finally I’m tired of this. I will do whatever it takes to do something different because obviously this isn’t working and I’m tired of being angry and I’m tired of my kids getting it. Like they were getting the worst part of me of being angry and frustrated and not connected.

I didn’t even see them as little people with me. And so it was like, how can I value them in my life rather than waiting for the day that they’re gone out of my life and then I’m going to regret all that. And I didn’t want to live and regret. I’ve heard a lot of people talking to me and telling me like, how, try to take advantage of this time.

They’re so young. And I just, I really do take that to heart, but I didn’t know what to do with it. And so whenever I finally started hearing some something different, like whenever you were talking at that CE class, I’m like, what is this like? I don’t know what this is, but I need more of it because I had been searching for it for, so I’ve done moved away, hours away looking for just any kind of connection.

And then walking through this, I’m like, wait a minute. This is empowerment on myself. This is me being able to be happy with me where I am. So it was just like, I don’t know, just finally seeing something was different out there where I’ve been searching.

Kim: I’m curious what you heard when you said, I heard that, like I don’t know if I know.

Brittany: So it was like confidence, like whenever you spoke, you were just confident in your words, in the way you held yourself, like posture wise, like you are sure of what you were saying, like maybe, I don’t know. It was just something about you, like it was just the vibe that just came off that was just very, I don’t want to say keep saying the word empowering, but it was very, I don’t know. Your openness, like you were open, you were just, I really don’t remember the words that you were saying. I just remember what I felt. And I just felt so safe, and I felt like there’s something different out there and I have been searching for so long and I felt like it was just a knowing like, this is it. I didn’t know what it was.

Kim: So then you started listening to the podcast. You joined the free Facebook group. So tell me a little bit about that. What were you hearing that was like sparking life in you? That there was more?

Brittany: Yeah, so starting with all of that, just hearing. I think I started listening to a lot of different people in your group too, of what they were experiencing and seeing that for them, that they made a change from where they were and then seeing where they were at. Now I’m like, this can really work for me. Like seeing their progress and seeing their success stories.

And just hearing more and more of them, the more I would dig in, get to meet more people. And I would think, I went to the event that year and I still didn’t know nobody. I just sat back and was like a watcher and I’m just watching all these people searching for the same thing and hearing how much it’s helped their relationships and helped them parenting and helping them physically.

Like some people were losing weight and some people were just feeling more confident and I’m just like, I want to be confident, wear what I want and not feel like I’m bothering somebody. I want to feel like, I can just wear, that was my biggest thing, was wear what I want at the time. Because I was ashamed of who I was, that I covered everything, and I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I just wanted to be me.

Kim: So compared to the life that you were living, what did it, what did what you want look like now that you started seeing other success stories? That’s what this Believing Better series is all about is clients who have been through this process and you’re now one of them.

Like how interesting is that, right? So what you were feeling like covering yourself up and having this shame that you actually weren’t successful. You were just like winging it and faking it so that people would think that you were. That’s where you were coming from, and then you see all these success stories, the vision that you painted in your mind about being comfortable in your body and being, could you paint that vision for me? Could you tell me what it looked like back then? You’re sitting at the retreat, you’re watching all these people and you’re thinking if they can do it,

Brittany: They just seemed so happy. There was a light in them that was. It was like a dimmer, like those dimmer lights where you can adjust it from low to high. And I just felt like everything was just slightly just starting to get brighter and clearer. For so long I lived in such a fog. Just basically like a very dark night, foggy night, and you don’t even know where the next, you don’t know if you’re going to hit a bump or if you’re going to hit a curve or if there’s a car in front of you stopped.

And it’s now not only was that fog being lifted, but there was also light being presented. So I was able to see so much more clear that there was so much beauty around me. It wasn’t so much darkness, and that watching them light up to see where they were versus where they were at now, That the hard work was worth it and that, yes, they saw the dark days, but to see where they’re at in the light now, to see where it could possibly keep going, I was like, it just, I don’t know. It just gave me this hope and this fire inside of me that’s I’ve got to do this,

Kim: I’ve got to do this. That is the difference between motivation and inspiration. You were inspired. Whereas we are taught that we need to motivate people to get going. Like we’ve got to cheer them on.

We’ve got to, when we do this with our kids come on, we can do it. Come and it’s actually not what works because inspiration sparks. The potential that’s in us. Whereas motivation leads from the mind and tries to convince like the thought process and the brain and the like, and it doesn’t work because it doesn’t light that spark up.

So I love that you’re saying that. And for those who are familiar with Human Design, Britney is a 6/2 and when I pulled her a chart, I was like, oh yeah, she is like in the middle. She’s on the roof. How old are you now? I’m 31. 31. So she was like right at Saturn return.

So by the, whenever we met, which we all know that between 28 and 32, especially for a six line being there is a huge transformation. There is like a breaking of something, a change of something that happens between 28 and 32. And so I am grateful to be a part of your process as you moved through that.

And it’s really interesting that we find wherever we need to be. Like what if we could just trust that we always find where we need to be for the next, even though we don’t know what it looks like? Because looking back you could probably see that, but when you were in it, is it almost like you had a flashlight, like just seeing little bits and then all of a sudden, the lights are on? How would you describe it?

Brittany: Yeah, it was more like just always trying to find the next puzzle piece, but you have the whole wrong box. Like you didn’t even have the right pieces to that puzzle. So it was like you’re constantly looking through all these boxes for the puzzle pieces, and it’s like that’s not even what works for you.

Like I was always looking for someone else’s life to mimic or someone else’s method to do, or someone else’s modalities to adapt and or to adopt. And. So it’s like finally, whenever they’re like, no, Brittany, here’s your box. Here’s your puzzle. And it’s oh, I really like these colors. It just started making sense and putting it together.

It just became fun rather than, oh my God, I can’t even stand these color palette. Oh my God, it’s all black and white. It was just, I don’t know, it just seems more fun now. Like it’s weird. Like me even talking about my life now, like I’ve been straightening my hair forever. I couldn’t wait for the day to have straight hair.

And now, just even recently, I’m trying to embrace it and I’m like, I freaking love it. Like it’s just like a switch. I’m like, what is this? Like I didn’t, I hated my hair forever. I hated me. And it’s like now, especially in Human Design  , learning more about me, not just because, okay, cool I’m going to adopt it.

It just it was exactly what I had been battling with for so long and trying to get rid of because it didn’t fit in everyone else’s boxes. And so like now being able to have this box and its mine and I get to put it together and then display it or just keep it on desk, whatever I was wanting to do with it, there was no right or wrong anymore, and it was just, now life is funner.

Kim: I felt that way when I found Human Design too. It was like I suddenly had a permission slip to be who I was. Whereas before I was doing the same as you. I was trying to like fit somewhere, be understood some like I’ll do anything. Just tell me how I need to behave. Tell me what to say. Tell me what I should be doing like, and so I would look at someone else like what you were doing in the business and try and like doing this facade.

And it feels terrible. It feels like death, feels like hell. That’s got to be hell on earth. Where it’s like there, there’s, yeah, there’s no, or a lack of acceptance. Of the variation. Of the differential. Of the individualism, right? Like the not having permission to be what was natural and as a 6/2, like it is all about being natural.

It’s the role model who’s having a lot of experience and being like, I’m off the roof now. That’ll be your, so you’ve got a few years of discovery. Of learning, which you are in the integrative coach life coach program right now, and you are learning that, and that’s what happens. So it’s like at the first you just have a lot of experience and then you’re like, I’m getting the hell outta here.

And you go up the stairs and then you’re like on the roof just watching and researching and learning. And I need to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else. And I need to come up with all the answers and the solutions and then create systems and make sure that the world is taken care of, the humans, right? I’ve got to go gather these tools and figure this out.

Brittany: Yeah, and it was, it’s of course, we always wish we knew what we knew then or what we know now, but it’s like allowing myself to have the experiences and now going to collect the data. It’s almost like it’s not as urgent to get it all.

Like I was always so ready to heal someone else because I was hurting. I was like, I need to know how the brain works. I need to know, I started researching all these things because I’m like, I felt like I’m going crazy and so I’m going to help someone else from going crazy. I didn’t even know how to do it yet.

And I was ready to just start someone else because burning passion was inside of me. Rather than just sitting in, the lazy river and just let it take me. It’s really rocky. It’s really rough, just accumulating all that stuff to be able to carry it over. Especially now that where I’m at and I’m don’t feel that urgency anymore.

I still have that burning passion, but now I know that it gets sloppy when you get out of alignment or you’re trying to do it too fast, it gets, it’s like a paint job. If you’re trying to paint your walls, you can’t, you’re going to splatter that stuff everywhere. It’s on the floor and everything. But if you can take your time and actually do a good job, it’s looks better.

You’re going to get paid more. To me that’s just what I envisioned what I can see as far as not being so sloppy.

Kim: Yeah. What that feels like for me when you say that is the difference between following strategy and authority and allowing the mind to lead. Because the mind is where all that conditioning is coming from and it’s looking and it’s trying to figure out, and it’s like super busy doing a bunch of crazy stuff.

Yes. Whereas when you can put the mind in the backseat, instead of letting it drive, put it in the backseat, allow it to have a little hissy fit back there. That’s what this week’s podcast is about. And then it’s okay, now I am the vehicle, I am the car, but my mind doesn’t get to lead it. And so that’s what reminds me of when you’re describing that it’s, it requires a very deep trust. 

Brittany: Oh yeah. because I didn’t trust anything I said or did. because I knew somebody was doing it better than me and they had their stuff together and I didn’t. So, it was constantly trying to keep up, constantly trying to stay in the game.

And I’m like now, I really don’t even feel like there’s there could be a game, but it doesn’t feel like there’s so much of an involvement to make sure everyone’s watching, making sure everyone’s on cue, making sure, like I was controlling everything, and it was exhausting because nobody was doing what they were supposed to do and if they would’ve just listened to me, but I can’t change anyone. And that has been so nice to take that off my shoulders, because I carried it not for just my clients, but for my family, for my kids, for my boyfriend, for my parents, my brother, everyone.

I controlled every situation, which then made it more hectic, but in my mind, it was controlling, and it was working.  

Kim: The mind is so excited when it thinks it can control something. So let’s go, let’s, so that’s where that’s where you were. So then you found Self-Healing Masters. You joined Self-Healing Masters.

Which is a membership for practicing being your authentic self. Like we use Gene Key 8, Human Design, an integrative approach to access the potential that’s already inside of you. And then this is the place to practice and to get coaching. How has that changed things on your path? Because that was your first step is joining Self-Healing Masters.

Brittany: Yeah, so once I joined, I really didn’t know what I was joining. I was just like, I’m in. And so once I started really listening in, they had the calls and stuff and I think at the time it was just the Wednesdays and I would get on, I would listen, but I was also like so tired of so much that I just started like opening up almost immediately.

But I really thought my story was going to stand out from everyone else’s. Like I really thought I was going to be the one that’s wow, this is a bit much. She’s got a lot going on. And I don’t know. So I would always prevent any problem and I really got addicted to the whole like, aha moments. And then I remember there was this one point where it was just kind of cuz I was still searching and like just.

Always reaching out, but not really homing in on anything yet. And then all of a sudden, it’s I forget who it was that was like, just be, and I’m like, no, but I got a problem to solve. And they’re like, “no, just be.” And so it’s like someone holding that space from you was like, “hey, you, in your drama, in your stuff let’s go ahead and get out of this because you’re now just swimming in it.”

And it was you’re right. I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew it was like freeing to finally say, “oh, I don’t need to sit in this.” And I knew I didn’t want to. So, to have a space and a container, not only the coach, but to have the Facebook group to keep going back to and to have, if you were to celebrate something or if you were in the middle of something needed somewhere just to post.

I remember so many times like writing something out and then I’m like, “oh my God, this sounds really dramatic.” This is a lot of drama in one thing, but to have somewhere safe to put that and no one judging. We can’t, have her in our prayer team.

We can’t, like it was like I was able to just say what I had to say and then not be judged by it. And it’s okay, is that really how you want to feel? And I’m like no. Okay, what can we do? And it was like, this is way less abrupt than what I was expecting. So it was just a really safe.

It took time, but it was a really safe space to start opening up and I don’t know, just getting to be myself authentically and learn more about myself and being okay with the way I do things. Like I’m a multi-passionate and now I’m trying to go into the role model stage. I’m just like, it was heavy at first, but then now it’s look where you’ve come from.

You’re doing so good. And it’s I don’t know. I’m just enjoying it more like it’s been that space.

Kim: So that’s the personal part. What about the business part? Because that’s, you joined eSchool. And you, I want stability. So you had stability in your life that was happening in your relationships.

And then you joined eSchool so that you can make more money, help more people create more impact. So how has that changed what’s going on in your business? So you started off inconsistently, a lot of white space, pretending like you were successful making 2000 to $3,000 a month. Where are you now?

Brittany: So I now am hitting between $5 and 6,000k.

I haven’t hit the six yet, but between 4-6 and 5-6 you can say. And I actually don’t have as much white space, even openings. I am more homed in on the time and the times that I would like to work. And really staying true to that. Like rather than always saying, yes, really these are the times I have open and sticking to it, I have been able to be more predictable and more demand of it.

Like my space, like people understand that time is limited on my, spots are limited. So I have way less no-shows. I have way less cancellations. And I played with my time a lot at first because I was like trying to figure out what I wanted to do, so I still wanted to work out.

So now, I get to work out in the mornings, then go to work, work my hours. I set up a babysitter on certain days and stuck to it rather than if I don’t have nobody, I’ll go in. No, I stuck to it. This is what time they pick them up. This is what time I get home and I fill up my book to that spot and until it’s filled up, I am out there trying to, fill it up and it’s working tremendously.

Kim: So what I hear you saying is that you’ve changed your schedule. You’ve doubled your income and you have less, no-shows, less cancellations. You have time to work out. You are with your kids after school and in their activities, and more. You didn’t say this, but how about your partner, your relationship?

Brittany: Like it has really even helped me with him because I don’t feel so stretched thin that he’s no longer the bag burner, or just existing. And so we’ve been able to, like this past weekend, we went and did something for us this weekend. Had, the kids set up I don’t feel so, like at of time to where I’m like, I’m going to try to fit him in.

Like now I can have him in. And he’s also being inspired to go out on his own. Even with work and it is just, I’m really starting to enjoy this part. Like we really never had much of a connection, like a true connection before. And now because he’ll even ask me sometimes whenever he was spinning, like he comes to me now and so whenever I say something, it’s not like I’m demanding of him or telling him what to do.

Like I now come from a different position of what if I wonder what, and he’s just kind of it lets him think so I’m not controlling it. And it’s really allowed him to be himself. because I wanted to be myself. And I feel like we’re able to just be. We around each other and have more fun and laughter.

It’s not so serious all the time. And I don’t know, it just feels a lot lighter in the relationship as well. It was a lot. It was heavy at first cuz we were totally in it for the wrong reasons. And now I’m not always draining from him. Like I was always wanting so much attention from him because I felt like he was giving to everyone else but me. And then I was doing the same thing. So we were both super separated, a wedge, a huge wedge between us.

Kim: Yeah. It sounds like you have a partnership now that is helping with personal development from both sides. And that’s that within itself, just the intimacy, allowing someone to see into you. And not trying to change them and trying to make them wrong and trying to make them better and try instead of, “hey, you need to grow, and we need to improve you.” It’s “hey, do you want to do this together because we’ve got, kids here and we’ve got my job, we’ve got you wanting to start your own job and we’re actually on the same team now.”

Brittany: It’s no longer like telling him what he should do to make it work for us. It was literally just like stepping back. And I would set my schedule. So he would always, he would say when I go on my own, like it’s going to get busy. I said, “okay, but we still have things I still have events that I go to, I still like to have off on the weekends and there’s some evenings that I would like for you to get home earlier than me, so to relieve your parents or whatever.”

That way, we can have this, but before, I wouldn’t have said anything, and I’d just been mad for the first time. He hadn’t been ready for it; I’d set him up for failure. Now, like, I have clear communication with him, and even if he gets upset or takes it wrong, we’ve been doing it over and over for so long. Now, he doesn’t take it that way anymore. He just sees it as, okay, she’s coming to me with what she’s wanting to do, so I can come at him and say, hey, I’m also a business owner who loves to work and be there for my clients, and I have these set hours. I’m not changing that. Now, because you’re into your business, let’s still make it work for us. And he’s like, oh yeah, okay. It’s communication. But it was how I was doing it before. I was very straightforward and no, you need to take off. Here are the dates, and enough is enough. Why do you keep doing this to me? Like, I always do for everyone, and you never do. Like all the poor things. Poor thing. All the things I was saying.

Kim: Miss Bossy Pants, right? And between the intimacy, the personal development, the communication, and actually, we’re talking about you setting your schedule, having fewer no-shows, fewer cancellations, being with your kids when they’re off school, being at all of their activities, and then having time to take off and be with your partner. That quality time, plus you still taking care of your personal demands and needs, which is the personal growth and the community and traveling. So how’s that feel? Were you doing any of that before? Would you go to things? Would you like to talk a little bit about that? How that’s played an impact into this?

Brittany: Yeah. I would try to do things, but like even with my church, I went through some classes and then it had an event that weekend. I remember it was like maybe $80 or something for the ticket for the weekend. And I was like, ugh, I don’t have the money. I don’t have the time. Who’s going to watch the kids? No one’s going to. I gave all the excuses, and I didn’t go. I ended up not going to the event. And I thought it was crazy, like, how do these moms just get to take off and go without their kids and their partners? And they, I was just watching.

Making drama in my head of how everyone else had it, was able to go. But no I always wanted to go back and visit some friends in Florida, and I never had time to do that over the money because I had to take my kids with me and, I had a partner with me, and I could have left him with them. With him and planned ahead and I just didn’t.

Kim: So how has that played into where you are today, like being able to do the retreats? The live business events the boot camps, do you think that’s played a part in this being with other people who were doing?

Brittany: Yeah, because every single like time we’ve had an event I always get excited to go but I always get nervous leaving with leaving the kids with my boyfriend and stuff just because mama doesn’t think it through.

Because of course, I can do it better in my mind. And I don’t know, especially this last time, really seeing how he was able to handle a situation even though I was ready to solve the problem immediately. And I was like, “Nope, they have to both experience this.” And somehow, they both survived all weekend, and everyone was happy, and it ended up being a good experience for me in allowing me to see where I can trust him where I didn’t realize I didn’t have the trust.

And just being around the people, because I was voicing this with the group of ladies I was with, and they’re like, “He’s got it, girl.” And they just talked about their experiences, and I was like, “Oh, okay. I guess they’ll figure it out.” And I remember I was like hot, like I was red all the way down, and they were just supporting me and validating my feelings that yes, it is very hard to do it and I understand where you’re coming from. And it’s like now. It just passed, and I was like, “Oh, I’m so glad I had these people with me. I’m glad.”

Kim: And where are you today? So, you’ve had these last, I think it’s three years you said, right? It’s October two. Yeah, these last three years and now you see the impact that it can make, the changing the trajectory of your family, the generation, like just stopping some of the old patterns and limiting beliefs so that your kids can have access to more. Is that where you are now? And then that plants a seed for, “I wish more people knew about this.”

Brittany: Yeah, I really just have to slow myself down on it because there are so many times when I’m like, they need to know all the things. Yeah. And they need to see that there’s something here and there’s so much more. But I think just having my excitement on my face is drawing people in rather than me trying to go out there and grabbing people like, “Come on, let’s go.” And it’s like now, I don’t know, I’m just attracting it, and I didn’t think that was even possible until it started happening because I started trusting. It’s way easier and it’s a lot less weight on my shoulders because I don’t have to do anything really.

I just get to be myself and show up as me, and people who knew me before versus now, they’re looking at me like, “Something’s different. You look so good; you have a light about you.” And I’m like, “I’m trying, it’s just different.”

Kim: It’s just, yeah. I remember when there was that urgency in myself, but also in you, with almost feeling like we had to save people. Like we have to, they have to know this, they have to get out of this. There’s no other way, and that feels terrible in the body. It’s, yeah. There are so many to save. Yeah. And it’s really hard to break that, and I experienced it for years. When the wounded parts are healed in us, the urgency leaves, and that’s the beauty of really understanding the wounded healer paradigm, that we are desperate and needy and grabby and convincing when we need it, but we can’t see it.

So beautiful work that you’ve actually paused and done that work for yourself, so now you can just be the example, and if someone wants it, they can ask for it, and then you can respond, which is you being in strategy and authority. Yeah. It feels good. How is that affecting your relationship with clients, kids, and partner being in that space instead of the controlling?

Brittany: I feel like it’s about them now when I’m with them rather than about me. I really felt like I was always sharing my problems or sharing my past, issues, or things that I went through. Like for me, woe is me, but here I am, I’m looking successful, and I got my own business and I’m a good mom. I have both my kids and I don’t know. It was just that. Always, I don’t know. I felt like they say, the wounded heal. I always just imagine myself like just bleeding all over everyone else and I’m not even healed. And they feel that like they’re not going to tell you a lot of times or they just don’t come back. But like I just, I feel like they’re more family now and it’s like they’re here for me and I’m able to take. My, knowing of how I can help them and I’m way more confident and I have helped way more people having longer better results because like now I’m able to say, I really, I know you’re looking for this, but I really can see where this can benefit you and this is going to help so much. And if it doesn’t it’s not something you’d we can totally go back. Everyone has switched. Everyone has oh no, I’m in your hands, and. It feels really good to have confidence in myself to do that because I do know I can help people with what I have. And before it was just kind of like I can help people with what they think they want and I don’t know, it just feels better, especially my clients and then with my kids, like I’m able to like, rather than them being mad and them messing up my day, I can hold my emotions together and not take things so personal and be there for them because they’re just having a really crappy day, like they just can’t see it.

Forward, like I can see it, or even with my boyfriend, there are a lot of things going on with him. It’s scarcity and different things like that. I can understand where he is coming from and just hold space for him. Instead of always being concerned with my problems and my stuff. And then when he had a bad day, I wasn’t always focused on myself.

Kim: Love it. So, last question. Where do you see yourself now? What is your future looking like? We know where you were, and now you’re in this calm, confident state, which is the thing that you saw that inspired you, and you’ve now gotten there. So, you still have your massage business, you’re in coach training. What do you see for yourself?

Brittany: I see myself. It’s kind of hard. I haven’t really put a picture on it because I’m integrating the coaching in with my massaging, and I always felt like, as I said, my clients were like a family member or close to my heart. To know that not only can I fix the external, but I can give them an option or even lead them to having some self-inner things that help them trust themselves and listen to their body, where they can come in and have knowledge about their issues, like tight neck and shoulders, and rather than just getting a massage, maybe they want to sit and talk about it and get that out, providing a safe place not just in my office, but also with me. I want to do the same for my kids, where I’m the safe parent that they can come to when things are rough. They’re getting older and it gets harder, and it gets tougher. And I just want to be able to still hold that space for them and just stay in that com. They always wanted to be the nurturing mama because I didn’t feel like I was always just so mad and angry.

Where now I feel like I can be the nurturing mom and nurture their feelings and their existence and who they are and I don’t know, just be the container for clients, for my kids, for my boyfriend, and I don’t know, just enjoy the life. Enjoy it so much more than I ever have.

Kim: So good, and you’re helping moms get fit and prioritize time so that they can be better parents, better business owners, better employees, is that correct? Better partners.

All right. So, we will link how they can contact you below. And you’ll be able to share this.

Is there anything I didn’t ask you that you would like to express or share about what you’re doing, where you’ve been? Maybe what you wanted to hear? Anything that we missed?

Brittany: Nothing that’s really popping up right now. I think we covered quite a bit, some different things.

Kim: You’re so calm. Does it still feel weird? Are you still trying to acclimate to this?

Brittany: Yeah, I feel like sometimes like I’ll freak out and I’m like, “wait, why am I doing this?” And so then I’ll calm down. But I’m like, “okay, what do I do then?” It’s weird. It’s still very weird.

Kim: Yeah. It’s so much lighter and, funner, as you said.

All right we’ll put the link below. You can contact Brittany if you are a mom that has been struggling to prioritize your time and your health so that you can be personally responsible, happier, and not so much trying to control everyone and everything else.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.

 

 

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