Ep #271 What’s Blocking Your Success

In this episode of The Boss Up Podcast, I’m helping you overcome the MOST common obstacle to your success that is the least often discussed. 

It turns out, a significant number of my clients encountered these barriers to success this week, so I know it’s time to open up the discussion.

You can learn all the business and marketing strategy out there, but THIS success block will render those strategies useless every time, unless you can break through them. 

What You’ll Learn:

  • How these success blocks present themselves in your life and business.

  •  The confusing reason why your success is blocked, especially when you’re doing all the right things. 

  • Why these success blocks keep showing up until you clear them from your life. 

  • My process for recognizing and relaxing the nervous system so you can succeed. 

Tune in to this episode to break through your success blocks and achieve your goals! 

If you love the episode, please share and leave a review so we can get this information out to more people who want to grow their businesses! 

Sign up for my free masterclass on April 30th The #1 Method for Winning in Wellness!

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

#271 What’s Blocking Your Success

​Hello, and welcome back to the show. So I have had a very eventful week and a lot, like more than usual amount of clients have been experiencing what I’m talking about today. So I thought it was relevant enough that it was worthy of doing an episode on, and that is what is blocking your success. So let me ask you something:

Have you been trying to grow your business or attain a goal or succeed at something for a long time? Like maybe you’ve been studying, reading the courses. You like, for an example, if you were trying to get new clients, You’re like, I am doing everything. I’m posting on social media. I’m sending emails.

I’m sending DMs. I’m talking to people. I’m getting on consults. I just. I just can’t get people on board. There’s something blocking me. Have you ever felt that way? Or maybe you’re trying to lose weight and you can take off between five and eight pounds, can’t get past 10 pounds. And you’re like, something is blocking me.

Or maybe even it’s in your relationship and you get like this particular relationship where you get along really great. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, there’s this same argument that keeps happening at the same point. And the first thing you think is: something’s blocking us, like something’s going on.

What is blocking me? And I’ll give you the exact words that my customers and clients say that I have used myself. I do everything I’m supposed to do. And right before I get the results. Something happens, there’s something in me that either I screw something up, I get exhausted, it feels like I hit a brick wall, like something just stops the next step and then I can’t get my momentum up again.

So no matter how excited I am or how well it was going, it’s like it’s bigger than me. It’s like, it’s something that has a life of its own. Have ever you ever said anything like that? Because let me tell you, my friends, I have, and I’m actually in this part of the cycle right now. And it happens every time you hit a new level, whether it’s in your business, in your weight loss, in your relationships, there is this part of us.

That is so used to the way you were, so used to how familiar and comfortable things were, and is so afraid of what change is going to look like. And an example of that might be in order to grow to the next level. The people that you hang around with need to do it with you, need to agree with you, need to understand you.

That’s one of the most common things as you are changing and those four or five people that you most hang around with are not. That’s one of them. The other one is they may say things like, why do you keep changing? I don’t even know who you are. Why do you want to do that? Why can’t you just be okay with what it is?

Like you’re thin enough. Why do you want to be so skinny? Like why you go overboard on everything? Like why don’t, why don’t you just enjoy life? Why do you want to work so much? You’ll start hearing things like that and it is so sneaky because it sounds like it’s coming from someone who loves you. Wants the best for you.

And I am not saying that this is intentionally like they’re doing anything to sabotage you, but there’s little subtle comments that are in our being. We’ve taken them on when we were kids, when we were maybe not as aware and not as mature as we are right now. And you think because you don’t live there anymore, that it’s not affecting you.

But listen up my friends. It is affecting you. These stories are imprints. that are on the systems or in the systems of the body. They’re in the cells, they’re in the tissue and you’re getting a visceral response, an emotional sensation. And because you’re doing something new and different, there’s a part of you that doesn’t actually know what’s going to work, even though someone’s telling you exactly how to lose weight, exactly how to make money, exactly how to get more clients, even though You’ve taken the class, you’ve read the books, you’ve listened to the person, you see the evidence, even though you know that.

There’s a part of you that doesn’t actually know what to expect. It doesn’t know what to do next. It doesn’t know how to get beyond this emotional barrier. And you know, you can look at it this way. It could be physical. So physical manifestations can come up, chronic pain, injury, like it could be something physical in the body.

It could be emotional. Which means there is a sensation and you’re feeling it. It feels like panic and anxiety. It often feels like heat. Sometimes when it’s shame and fear, it’ll show up as like a hot temperature and it could be mental. And the way that it shows up when is mental is that there is a thought that just keeps cycling. It’s maybe somewhere’s here in the back of your head, or it might not be front and center, but it’s, it’s just continually going almost like it has a life of its own. This little turning, looping, spinning. So those are the three ways that these blocks or limitations and barriers, they’re all the same thing, show up.

So it’s rather confusing. Because you, the conscious you, the part of you that knows what you want. is doing all of the things like you’re putting up the post, you’re sending the emails, you’re eating the right foods, you’re going to the gym, you’re very aware. So there’s the aware part of your conscious mind.

And then there’s the sub conscious, which is the part where you kind of hear the spinning and the looping, you feel the sensations, you notice that there’s feedback. Physical things that are coming up. Like all of a sudden your right eye is twitching and your ear is bothering you and your shoulders are acting up and your, maybe it’s plantar fasciitis.

You know, it’s like that it just might be like a left knee, just different physical things in the body and the other one. And so you’ve got the thought. You’ve got the physical showing up exteriorly, and then you have the visceral or the emotional, which feels like panic and anxiety and like, Ooh, not sure what’s going on.

And it may even feel like I’m going to take you through a little story. This is the best way I can explain it. It’s like you woke up in this very dark room. Maybe it’s a cellar, maybe it’s an attic, but it’s so dark that you can’t even see your own hands. It’s just pitch black and you feel nervous, but you don’t actually know where you are.

You don’t know why you’re there. Like, am I safe? Did I just wake up here? How did I get here? It’s like being intoxicated and then not knowing where you wake up at. It’s a very scary feeling. And that is what’s happening when you’re in the middle of transformation. Your mind is having this episode, this fearful episode of not knowing what the future is going to look like, not knowing what’s going to happen.

And that creates this sensation. And then the physical part is you might be frozen. Like maybe just your eyes are moving and you can hear something on the outside of the room. So you’re like, there are people, but I don’t know if they’re bad people or good people. I don’t know if they are going to help me or if they’re the ones who locked me up here.

Right? That’s, that’s what’s happening in the mind. Whenever you’re trying to grow your business, trying to get beyond where you’ve ever gotten before, it feels very unsafe because it is an unknowing. It’s the only two reasons that we have fear. The first is you’ve already tried this or somebody has tried this and told you how it can go wrong.

So you’re afraid to fail. And two is you don’t actually know what to do. And so then you get frozen in the emotion and you don’t make any decisions and you don’t take any steps. Both of those feel like anxiety and stress and tension. And so it’s like you’re in this very dark room. You hear things on the outside.

So that’s kind of like what you hear on social media. That’s all the messages that you hear what to do or what not to do and be careful. Don’t do that. And you should do this. And have you tried this already? So you’re in this panic mode and you’re not sure how to respond or how to react. You’re just kind of frozen and you don’t know what to do next and you don’t know what to expect.

So you can’t make a decision. You’re frozen in the transformation cycle. This is a block. It is a barrier and it is a self imposed limitation. And it is coming from the unconscious because you remember conscious as you see it happening. Subconscious is, you know, of history and patterns. You’re aware that there’s voices and warnings.

Unconscious is something that is imprinted inside of you on a deep layer or level that happened a very long time ago. When you were unaware. When you were unprotected, and that has now created this imprint, and when you get nervous, when you get frightful, it comes back to the service. So you wanting to grow your business, lose more weight, have a better relationship, you’ve taken that risk.

The fright and the fear and the unknowing of that triggers this part of you that was surprised or that was, there’s something going on that you are not aware of and it’s coming into your being. It’s coming into your awareness because they’re wanting to grow your business to get to the next level to create something different is the catalyst to trigger this.

And now that you have this imprinted, this some people call it a trigger. Now that this is triggered, your mind doesn’t have the answer. And so it’s making things up. It’s trying to fill in the blanks of what it doesn’t know. And when that happens, the, the, like trying to fill in the blank of what you don’t know, it’s not truth.

It’s often not even real, but it keeps that loop going. It’s caught between the sensation and the thought, the sensation and the thought. So it feels very real and this activates your nervous system. So now your body is in panic mode, panic, panic. If you’ve ever been like freaked out, panicked and you couldn’t think.

You couldn’t react, you couldn’t do anything because you were kind of like just frozen watching because you wasn’t, you weren’t sure that’s what’s happening. But it’s kind of weird because when you look around you, you are very safe. There’s nothing going on. So the confusion kind of carries the story a little bit longer because then you don’t know what to do.

So when you go to put up a post or make an offer or take the next step, all you can do is sabotage it. So this. Unaware part of you that, I mean, this unconscious part of you comes up to the scene and it keeps you in the same situation. It stops you from taking the risk of going into the unknown. Can you, can you imagine that we would do that to our self consciously?

Of course not. It is. It’s a sabotager, and it’s happening for your own safety. And the thing is, it’s, it’s very neutral. This unconscious part, it, it’s just doing what it was trained to do before you were aware and could even make decisions for yourself. So I’m curious how many of you are experiencing this now, or have experienced this.

The best and worst part of this is totally treatable, painlessly, like it, it’s very simple, very simple solution. Bad news is We can’t see it for ourself because our conscious and subconscious keeps it at bay. And so we actually can’t get to it. We have to have someone, there’s a process though. That’s the process that I’ve actually trained in.

I trained coaches in that we help you because I was watching so many people suffer and I had figured this out and I saw the value for myself once I was cleared Of that fearful, unconscious thing that kept sabotaging me. And I was like, Oh my God, everyone needs to know about this high achievers, goal setters, people who are doing big things in the world, like highly driven, motivated people have this it’s all of us.

It’s, it is just the human condition. And so I’ve talked before about like TMS, which is the physical manifestations of chronic pain, illness and disease comes from this panic and anxiety and depression and stress inactivity, confusion, same thing comes from this. So it shows up in the physical body. It shows up with the emotional body.

It shows up in the energetic body and then the confusion and the loop, it shows up in the mental body. So it is all consuming. And when you think about it, it’s bigger than you are in the moment because you don’t have access to the frontal cortex, which is the problem solver. It’s the decision maker. It’s the, the, the logical reasoning part of you.

Is off board. It’s, it’s not available. You can’t utilize it because your nervous system is dysregulated. And so you can’t make that reasonable decision. So you just go into paralysis. You just freeze. And then you’re say things like, I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know why I can’t do it. I just can’t take the next step.

I don’t know why I have stage fright. I hate that this keeps coming up. I’m so sick of it. I’ve invested so much money, so much time. I’ve put together a program. I know I’m really good at what I do, but this block is in my way. And it’s like an invisible, invisible barrier that. I can’t see the doorknob to open the door, or I can’t see the light switch to turn on the light in the room.

So I’m stuck in the dark. And my, my mind is like on fire trying to figure out, am I safe? Are they here to help me? Are they going to hurt me? Who put me here? What’s going to happen? What’s going to happen? I don’t know what’s going to happen. and I’ll see you next time. And that dysregulation is so common for business owners, for highly successful individuals, for any time you try to create change and transformation.

And it is coming from such a deep, deep, long ago, maybe even when you weren’t aware of it happening time. That it kind of feels like it’s driving you crazy. Like don’t know what to do with this. I just know that I’m sick of it. I want it to go away. If this is you respond to the email, comment below, let me know.

Cause I just want you to know you’re not alone. You’re not alone. This is totally fixable, but it is the block or the barrier. And once you have the understanding, once you have the awareness, Then you can start to reduce the panic. The anxiety, the tension. Just notice right now if you can just relax and realize it’s not you.

It’s a part of you that is activating the nervous system to make sure that you don’t do anything dumb, that anything that’s unknown, because that’s what it believes is scary. This feels like, it’s like I, and I really believe that this is what an exorcism is. It’s releasing this unresolved trauma that makes no sense.

And be very careful when I say unresolved trauma, trauma does not have to be a big life event. It is a moment. Where you were unsafe. It’s a moment of unsafety where that imprint was created of, I don’t know what to do. I’m panicked. I’m nervous. I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to do next. And that is what is triggering this and creating the inactivity that is blocking and sabotaging your success.

The good news is. I can help you. The good news is you can help you. The good news is. Totally normal. Let yourself off the hook. See if you can settle in, relax into the body. I’m going to give you a little three step formula that you can try in the meantime until you can reach out, get an appointment. You can come into boss up.

This is the work we do in boss up because it’s how to boss up your regulation, how to boss up your success, how to boss up your in your business, in your mindset. So here’s the three steps. Just notice, notice the sensation that you’re feeling, notice the pain or the symptoms that are arising. Notice the looping thoughts.

Notice what’s happening in your energy. It’s exhausting by the way. It’s so exhausting. It’s like you’ve been running all night long and it’s because of the spinning in the looping. Take a deep breath and exhale. Squeeze your toes and hands. So that you can come back into your body, just squeeze and breathe.

So this is the stop,

pay attention to your breath,

maybe tap, pinch, touch, squeeze. Find something in your body, squeeze your thighs, squeeze your toes,

recognize that you are safe and then open to curiosity. I’m willing to explore this. I’m willing to understand it. I’m curious. It’s interesting. Isn’t it interesting the way my body is responding? Isn’t it interesting how a part of me wants to block my success because it believes success is unsafe? What else is interesting?

What else do you notice? What else are you curious about? Maybe you’ll feel some tingling in your body just from the squeezing and the breathing. Maybe you’ll start to understand and see the separation. The part of you that’s being in, that’s protected. The part of you that’s unresolved. The part that wants something else.

The part that’s excited to change. The part that’s in the middle of transformation. These are different aspects of ourself all happening at the same time. So we, we know mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, that’s what we are. We are mental. We are emotional. We are physical. We are spiritual. Those are all the parts of ourselves.

And when you don’t understand it. You go into an unsafe state of being. So are you curious? Are you willing to explore? Can you wonder what’s going on? And then just stay, just stay in the exploration. Breathe. And notice the sensation begin to lift as you bring the breath in, as you exhale out, you notice the heart rate begin to slow down.

Maybe the heat start to reside,

just breathing and noticing and allowing and exploring. And understanding that we’re complex beings and change and transformation feels hard and scary. It seems super easy to go back and be who we’ve been. The problem is we decided we wanted something else. And so it’s very easy for this block to take over and for you to go back in the past.

But in this moment where you’re in the stay, just stay right here where you are. Just be willing to stay right in the middle where it’s messy, where it’s nerve wracking, where you feel anxiety and sensation. Just stay till it reduces the charge

and then make the decision. I’m willing to take care of this. I’m willing to seek help. I’m going to ask. For someone to help me and I’m going to be willing and open to receive that help so that I could remove this barrier out of the way. You know, sometimes a tree falls across the road, you’re on your way to go somewhere else.

You might not be able to move that tree by yourself. You might have to wait for help to haul it off, to move it out of the way, chop it into pieces, take it away. There’s different ways to take it away, but just be open. And understand that there is nothing wrong with you, that we are complex beings. And once we understand that this is the cycle of transformation, this is the process, it is very uncomfortable and the nervous system will get activated when you don’t know what to do because the mind wants to know, matter of fact, that’s why it goes back to the past because it knows about the past. It’s like, let’s just go back. Let’s just quit. Let’s just stop. It is not worth feeling this way. Have you ever said that? Have you ever thought that? Of course, this is why so many people don’t make it to their goal because this is so powerful.

It’s more powerful than you are. It’s like a rubber band that just keeps snapping you back into what was snapping you back. You make the decision to go forward, it snaps you back and it just keeps you right here. So that block and barrier. It is very powerful in the moment when you’re experiencing this, but there’s a way to reduce it.

There’s a way to remove it. There’s a way to transform it. So I want you to know that you can get help. This is part of bossing up. Just understand that every time you go to a new level, they say, what’s that new level, new devil. This is what they’re talking about. This is the barrier. You got to go through these, it’s like a rites of passage.

You got to go through these barriers in order to get to the next, because who you are right now and how you identify and your perception can’t get the new goals. It can’t go to the new place. And so that’s a part of leaving that behind, letting go of something that was giving up In order to get, all right, my friends, that was, Oh, that was a deep one, huh?

That’s a big one that so many people are experiencing right now. It’s you’ve, I’ve talked about this on several episodes actually taking you through cycles. If you go back and listen to them from the beginning, we talk about the cycle of transformation. We also talk about the transition of transformation.

This is the transition where you’re transitioned from what you was. what you were to what you’re going to be, but you’re not here yet and you’re not here anymore. And this is the messy middle. It’s like right before the butterfly gets its wings. It’s messy. It’s gross. It’s nerve. Everything’s starting to bust open.

It’s also the moment where that seed is starting to penetrate through the ground. To come up and blossom, but it’s hitting up against that soil, that hard soil. And so many of us have oppression and suppression in our environment. You know, people just, just stay like you are, honey, just, just stay right here.

And so it’s like, there’s a foot on top of the ground where we’re trying to come through. We’re trying to break through the dirt. We’re trying to. We’re trying because the seed is flourishing, flourishing and prospering. But that oppression and suppression, it’s like there’s a board on top of the dirt.

There’s a foot on top of the dirt. There’s something holding it down that block that barrier. And we’re fighting up against it. We’re bumping up against it. We’re getting all so. Squashed and squiggly, and we’re like trying to find a way out. You’ve ever seen when a blade of grass comes through the cement, like it comes through the side, it finds a little bit of dirt and it comes up in the crack.

It’s like we’re trying to bust through those barriers, but we don’t have the correct information. And so the data that we’ve been given is like, oh, it shouldn’t feel this way. You shouldn’t you. You shouldn’t be suffering this much. You should just stop. You should go back to what’s easy. We’ve been given a lot of wrong data and we’ve been operating under that.

So this is new information. Can we normalize it and neutralize it? Like do you want to normalize and neutralize the discomfort? Because everything you want is on the other side of the discomfort, just how it is. Wish I had a better story. This is actually the reason why our parents should let us suffer so that we know how to suffer.

We can stay committed through the discipline so we can get what we want. If you want a new body, you’re going to have to suffer at the gym a little bit. You’re going to have to put away the Oreos. You’re going to have to give up something and do something different. There’s going to be a sacrifice. And in this case, the sacrifice is giving up what was.

What you were doing, maybe the conversations that you were having, you’re going to have to give up something and you’re going to have to become what you want in the future right now. So resiliency, discipline, commitment, endurance, stay in the game. Use the processes, get some support, get some help to take you to the finish line.

Because right now it’s just a little speed bump in the road and you got to go over it. But, or it’s that tree trunk in the way, got to get somebody to remove that barrier, that block, that limitation so that you can continue going. And so what, if you have to stop every five feet or five meters and get help, that’s where I’m at now.

So what? Cause there’s, There’s nothing worse than regret. Every time I go back because I don’t know how to move forward, I regret it and I don’t want to keep regretting it. I know that’s what a lot of you are telling me is you’re so sick of finding yourself in this same position where you can’t get to the next level.

You invest all the money you put in all the time. You start doing the things and you can’t get the results. My friend, it is not your fault. It’s what’s going on in your body, in your nervous system that’s activated, and it can be resolved. We can dissolve this, can move it out of the way so that you can move forward.

Have an amazing week. And I’d love to hear from you. Comment below if you’re watching this live in the video or respond to the email where you got the podcast. Come into the Facebook group. It’s called boss up on Facebook, boss up podcast and community because it’s all about bossing up, boss up the nervous system, boss up your reactivity, your responsibility, boss up your goals, your skillset, your relationships.

All right, my friend, have a good one.

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