Welcome to More Than Mindset the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Hey there and welcome back to the show. I am just returning from a week at the beach. Just saying, it was pretty awesome. We hosted the Level Up
retreat for E-schoolers and integrative life coaches who wanted to up-level themselves and their business. Just so you know, there was a lot of leveling up that happened. And it kind of leads into what I want to talk about today.
What I experienced at retreat, what my clients experienced at retreat, and what is still happening today. Matter of fact we were on a call on Clubhouse earlier today and the same topic that I had in mind came up and I was like, “Okay, that’s it let’s do It.” Which is a call to more. And it’s not about doing more. It’s not about going out there and pushing through and making more. It’s actually about being more of you. More of who you already are.
What I noticed with almost everyone at retreat it was not about, how do I make this happen? That’s not the questions they were asking. It was how do I receive all of this? How do I receive this greatness? How do I receive this financial abundance? How do I receive being seen in my greatness, being seen as more?
And I’ve been noticing, leading up to retreat I’ve been noticing this is a big deal, and then especially experiencing it so many times at such a deep level. And then even coming back and seeing. And so it was like this hot potato.
So we would have the conversation, we went through every single person’s client journey. So we looked into the business with a magnifying glass, like really looking at each person individually. Because what we do in E-school is not about this cookie cutter business system or marketing system. Everything is specific to each individual, who they serve, and what they want to create.
And so as we were going through each one with a fine-tooth comb and coming up with the exact business strategy, structure, and marketing plan. The thing that came up most often was when they were able to see themselves it was so touching, and so beautiful, and so scary. And it was the inability to hold the abundance. It was the inability to receive seeing themselves as that version.
It just cracked open so much, for myself also, that our unworthiness, or our disbelief, or the unconscious stories that we have been allowing to lead our life, or our security blanket. It’s what we hold on to to make sure that we don’t get too big for our britches. Make sure we don’t get too high on that pedestal. Make sure we don’t grow out of the tribe, right? Whatever it is for you it’s different for all of us.
The unconscious dialog that is playing in our heads. The belief system, the BS, the stories we’ve been told and we continue to tell ourselves are our security. It’s our little wubby. It’s the thing that we hold on to so we don’t have to be too much. So we don’t have to worry about being ashamed of other people looking down on us because we make too much money or we’re like leaving the pack, or the tribe, or the agreement, or whatever it was that we have been staying in in order to feel safe.
And then what happens is there’s this moment where you realize it’s not so fun, it’s not so safe. Matter of fact it’s rather frustrating to continue to play small, to continue to play safe and do things that are no longer aligned with who you are.
And when they were able to see themselves the way that we saw them, it was for a moment, I’m telling you maybe a second maybe two, before the nervous system would fire up it was somewhat of a sadness or a disapproval. Like it was doing something wrong or people would not approve or agree, or they would be looked down on because they had achieved more, right? More, it’s all about that how like being greedy or wanting too much. All of those old stories, it’s just BS, that’s it. It’s just an old belief system, matter of fact it’s an outdated belief system.
It is safe to be who you are. It is safe to be all of you. Yes, some people may fall away, they may disapprove, they may look down on you. Yes that’s likely, it’s possible, it has happened. But it’s not because of you. It’s because they’re having to look at themselves and recognize that they could be doing it too because you are. And they’re actually disappointed in themselves. And it’s just our immature self, right, it’s emotional immaturity. It’s the way that we have been taught or the way that we play things out in relationships. It’s that mirror, it’s all projection and reflection. And I promise you the disappointment is in them.
I don’t know if you guys have ever experienced this, I know I have. Like your friend does something really well, gets the prize, or makes the money, or wins the race. And you love them and you want to be happy for them. You really, really want to be happy for them. But there’s something inside of you, you know that you’re faking it when you say it. And then you’re so disappointed in yourself and then you go and you judge yourself, you blame yourself like you shouldn’t feel that way. So you deny the jealousy. You deny the shame about the jealousy and the envy.
And that’s the problem. If we would just come clean about some of the crappy things that we feel and recognize that it’s just thoughts running through our head that’s creating this story, and that it’s all about us. We’re not disappointed about them winning, we’re not not happy for them, we’re disappointed because we don’t believe we’re good enough to do it.
This was a huge lesson for me it was so painful. And we talked about that at retreat because that is what’s keeping us bound by the old agreements, by the old stories, by the old belief systems. We believe it’s safe but it’s not, it’s just the story that the mind is saying.
So instead of disappointing or making someone else uncomfortable you disappoint yourself. You quit ahead of time. You don’t go do the thing that your soul is begging you to do because of that. And once you can recognize it and you can be open to receive all of yourself, your gifts, your soul’s mission and intention, the service that you want to provide. How do you want to contribute? How do you want to show up? You get to receive all of that, that’s what I mean by a call to more.
Are you ready to experience all of yourself? Because I’m going to tell you something, it’s pretty humbling. It’s very uncomfortable to experience all of yourself, to receive all of yourself, to be in your soul essence fully and completely. Whole, joyful, abundant, healthy, it’s a lot to hold. It’s very humbling.
And I want to offer you the same experience that my clients had at retreat by contemplating on this, asking yourself the questions. Why am I not being all of me? Why am I not answering the call to experience more? What is the story, the inner dialogue, that’s holding me back? Why am I not doing what that person is doing? The one that you’re inspired by, or motivated by, or really love and want to see them expand, but you’re feeling this little tinge of jealousy or envy. Whatever it is, however it shows up. It’s something to be looked at.
If you’re experiencing it, and you want to do the work, and you want to grow, inquire. Ask great questions, and then answer them for yourself. It is not the world’s responsibility to stay small, or play small, or protect those around them. It isn’t, that’s not how we grow. That’s not how we evolve. Let that stuff that bubbles up be the catalyst that grows you, that grows me, that grows others. That discomfort of receiving all that you’re capable of, receiving all of yourself, let that be the catalyst for your growth by asking great questions.
I feel really nervous about this because… I’m afraid that… Answer those questions, just finish the sentence. If I receive this it means… Journal, journal it out, say it out loud, tap on it. But allow it to move through you rather than running you, running your life in the direction that you don’t want.
Are you able to receive all of yourself? Are you able to receive more abundance, more people seeing you for who you are, hearing you, being interested in you, connecting with you? These are the questions that will grow you if you’re daring enough to ask and answer, honestly. I feel this way because… And when I feel this way, this is how I behave. And then, right, you just tell the story, finish the story, journal it out. Use these as prompts. And notice if it’s a hot potato.
It’s almost as if, like, there was a story of someone who had received several inquiries for potential clients. And she was like, “I haven’t even answered my email. I haven’t even, like I don’t know.” And it was like, “I don’t know why I’m not responding.” So it was like this moment and then, you know, the well just broke. And it was, it’s like it’s not safe for me to receive. And this is where the money stories come up. This is where the stories of greatness where we’re so afraid to see ourself fully.
It’s some big stuff guys, it’s some deep work. So just be willing to see all that you are. Accept your greatness and worthiness. Notice the dissonance. I want you to see me, and then I have a problem with being seen. And those two conflicting beliefs will create chaos and havoc in your life, if you don’t catch it, if you don’t notice it.
That fear of growing out of or leaving others behind, that’s another one. Being afraid to receive because that’s going to mean you’re better than or you think you’re better than. All of those thoughts. Be willing to write them out on paper, let them bubble up. Allow them to move through. Feel them, don’t ignore them. Feel what it feels like, allow it to process, and then integrate and embody. Make sure you’re breathing through it.
I’m going to read a poem to you. It’s in The Punch-Line Approach, it’s in the book. And I am pretty sure I have read it on this podcast already, and at retreat, just like I did again. But I’m going to go ahead and read it here also, because it’s so important and it aligns perfectly with what I’m talking about.
It comes out of the book A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson. That was one of my big breakthrough books. But it was this poem that I remember from it.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
That’s the part that stuck out for me. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as all children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others.
This was such a big game changer for me. And I want you to ask yourself, “Am I answering the call to more? To being more of myself? To offering more of myself being seen, being heard, being witnessed?” And if the answer is no, just finish the sentence. I am not answering the call to more because… I am… And just put in the feeling. I am afraid, I am nervous, I am ashamed. And just start letting some of this stuff move through you and recognize that it’s just an unconscious inner dialogue. And when you are writing or when you’re tapping, or processing, or getting coached, this stuff begins to bubble up and get exposure so that you can be aware of it.
The problem is, we don’t want to see it. We don’t want to face it. We don’t want to see ourself. Maybe spend some time in the mirror. And really looking at the integrity. And how do you show up in relationships? Are you honest? Are you open? Are you vulnerable? Are you emotionally manipulating? Are you trying to keep those around you small so that you feel safe? And notice that it’s the story you’re telling about yourself.
Are you hiding the fact that there may be some jealousy or some envy? Let all that stuff bubble up. Be willing to look at it and recognize it’s part of the human experience. Just like I was talking last week about looking at my grand baby and experiencing love. And in the same breath wanting to beat some ass of anybody who hurt him. Like it’s like the contrast is the beauty. It is the joy; it is the experience.
I spent so much time trying not to be jealous, not to be envious. It was self-denial. It’s okay because it’s us recognizing that we’re not being all that we could be. And we’re seeing it in others. That’s the mirror for us. So don’t be afraid to receive all that you are. Be all that you are. Share your brilliance, receive financial abundance, without shame. It’s okay if someone else thinks you’re being greedy, or you’re trying to make too much. Let them think that, it’s okay.
There are so many of you who are not doing the thing that your soul came to do because you’re so worried about how someone else judges you or thinks about you. Guys, do this for you. Because it’s satisfying, because it feels good, because it’s very liberating and freeing. You have so many opportunities, you can help so many more people if you’re able to receive it.
That’s what I have for you. Just really begin to notice what you’re denying, what you’re feeling, what you’re judging, comparing, and where you may not be honest with yourself because you’re afraid to hold the hot potato. Hot potato, hot potato, there’s a part of you that’s like, “I just want to be seen and heard. I want to make money. I want people to hire me. I want to do more.” And then there’s another part of you that is so afraid of what that means, or what people will think, or you being judged?
And that dissonance is the work. It’s recognizing it. It’s being aware. It’s being able to see it. Because anything that we can see we can understand. Anything that we can understand we can heal. But you got to be willing to shine a light on it and really start asking yourself more questions. I am not because… This won’t work for me, I’m different. Write all that down. Anytime you’re a unicorn, you think you’re a special snowflake, you think that your body can’t heal, you think that you can’t make money, you think you’ll never get better there’s something right there for you to investigate.
So don’t listen to that. Inquire, contemplate, like ask great questions. Don’t just let these thoughts just keep passing through your mind creating your future. Be aware of them. Bring the unconscious to consciousness so that you can begin to direct your mind where you want to go. You have to train your brain. That’s your job. That baby’s going to take you everywhere, it’s crazy.
I was telling Christie today on one of her posts I was like, “My brain is a liar. Like it just lies. I don’t know why. It just tells me all that BS.” But we have to be detectives. Don’t just let that pass you by.
All right. And make sure you’re at the next retreat. Come into Self Healing Masters, it’s a great place to start doing the work. It’s all about you, and who you want to be, and who you are. And it’s not about working harder and doing more. It’s about being more and receiving more. It’s about creating a life of fun, play, ease, flow. You get coaching there. And we do a lot of investigating. We ask a lot of questions. And we want to get to know you. It’s a very strong community. We do some fun stuff.
All righty, until next week. Have a good one.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.