Ep #183: Coaching the Unconscious and Subconscious Mind

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello, hello, and welcome back to the show. So I have spent a week home,  fully recovered. I did a lot of resting. Enjoyed a lot of time with my feet in the grass, it is so good to see all of the greenery, the moisture, to be out of the desert, into the country, all of those things. So let’s just say I have a deep appreciation for the homestead.

It was great to travel, it was nice to see new things, different things. And as I said before, I’m not really in love with the desert. But it was a nice change up and really gave me the appreciation for the greenery and the moisture and the quiet life, basically. I’ve been walking across the yard back and forth and it’s like, where’s everyone at? It’s really weird to have been in the city amongst all of that activity and then back into this calmness.

Anyway, do you like to travel and be spontaneous? Or do you prefer being home? My husband prefers being home. He likes having a schedule. He likes knowing where he’s going to be from day to day, exactly what time he wakes up, when he goes to bed, where he takes his shoes off. That stuff works for him. And for me, deciding every day, every hour, every month where I want to be works for me.

So if you are one of those who likes flying by the seat of your pants, permission granted, people. It’s okay. It’s okay to be an individual, to do what feels good to you. And not everyone has to be in agreement. Boom.

All right, let’s get on with today’s show. I am talking about coaching the unconscious or coaching the conscious. And I’m going to talk about the difference between conscious, unconscious, and subconscious. So it’s kind of like we use the term like talking about the brain, talking about the mind, it’s like we kind of just throw that around. Two different things, right?

The mind is like a projector. Do you remember fourth, fifth grade when you put a piece of paper onto the projector and it would like go onto the chalkboard and then everyone would read it? It’s kind of like that. The mind just has this feedback loop of what it’s been taught, what it’s experienced, what you believe. And it just kind of shows it back at you.

So when we’re talking about mindset coaching, we talk about coaching the conscious thoughts. So cognitive behavior therapy, counseling, talking things out, talk therapy is coaching the conscious mind. That is the part that you are aware of. There are thoughts that are happening, you see them, you believe them, you talk about them. That is the conscious mind.

The subconscious mind is what’s happening beneath the surface. So it’s like the brushing your teeth, driving your car, the everyday schedule. Habits and behavior where you don’t really think about what you do, you just habitually continue to do it. That’s the subconscious. And it’s a big part of what’s running our life.

Because the consciousness is only, like what you are aware of that’s conscious, those thoughts, it’s only like 5%. 95% is just happening out of habits. It’s just like have you ever gotten somewhere and you’re like, holy smoke, I don’t even remember driving here. Did I stop at that stop sign, right? That’s how you know that the subconscious is kind of like running the show. And this is happening all the time.

And the unconscious is the part of us that we are not aware of and that we’re not intentionally forgetting about or leaving out. It’s kind of just, you know when you think about somebody being unconscious, they’re like not aware. Like, hey, they were knocked unconscious, they were not there. It’s just like gone. Those thoughts are like hidden deep beneath the layers.

So mindset is coating the conscious mind. It’s like tell me what you’re thinking. This is what you’re thinking, this is what you need to change, you just need to change your thoughts. Subconscious is getting beneath that layer of what you know you know and tapping into what is kind of running the show, just by habit and behavior and the past and repetition. And then the unconscious is the part that you’re not aware of that’s happening beneath the surface of the surface.

So now I’m going to connect the dots by talking about repressed, suppressed, and oppressed. So I’m going to just use an example of a child, like a small child, three or four years old. Something scary happens or they kind of like check out. Like it’s just an automatic response, just something that the brain does.

And then the memories that can’t be dealt with are like forgotten, they’re put away, they’re locked away never to be experienced again. And if ever you’ve heard someone talk about narcissism, that’s kind of what the narcissist is protecting, these deeply hidden secrets that should never be unlocked and exposed, need to stay hidden.

And then there’s this automatic defense in the brain that keeps it protected. And that’s where the anger, and the lashing out, and the gaslighting comes from because they can’t possibly let someone into that treasure box to see what that was. But they don’t know they’re doing it. Okay? They don’t know they’re doing it. That means they’re not aware of this happening, okay?

So that’s repressed, something happens that you can’t handle, you can’t deal with, you don’t know what to do about, you can’t process it. And so it just gets tucked away and forgotten. This is a survival mechanism, by the way.

Then you have suppression. So when you’re suppressing an emotion, you are doing it kind of on purpose. So it could look like walking into a room and someone making fun of you and you pretend like it doesn’t bother you. So you suppress it, kind of consciously. Subconsciously you tuck it away and you keep it below the surface and you pretend.

So you’re aware that you’re doing it, that’s why you’re pretending that it doesn’t bother you. So it’s in your consciousness, does that make sense? So it’s a pretending and a hiding it on purpose not to experience it. The suppressed part is what’s in the subconscious, the repressed part is what’s in the unconscious.

So there’s not even being aware that it happened, it happened at such a young age, it was put away, there was no way to deal with it, or handle it, or process those emotions so it got locked away. And then there is the subconscious where you are intentionally holding down these emotions not to be exposed.

Now, you can imagine it’s like holding a ball under the water. You’re just like pressing, pressing, holding, keeping it, don’t show it, don’t let anyone see it, protect yourself. But it takes a lot of energy to do that, to pretend.

And then you have oppression. Oppression is living in an environment. Like it’s almost like this dogmatic way of living where oppression is you have to behave this certain way, you have to do this certain thing. It’s like keeping you under lock and key.

So I think about us being oppressed here in Louisiana, in the south. Like there’s a lot of oppression around scarcity, not having enough money. There’s a lot of alcohol and overeating and just ways to numb out emotions that can’t be dealt with because there’s no tools available to deal with them. Got it?

So living in an oppressed environment is not being able to speak your voice, not standing up for yourself, not being able to live your potential or optimize your dreams. You can’t go do the thing, the big thing in the world because it’s not okay with people in your environment. It’s not okay in your religion. It’s not okay in your family. It’s not okay in the friendships that you have. And so it’s an oppressed environment.

It’s a state of being and it’s like this tribal agreement. Oppression. I grew up in the trailer park, right? So it’s like I understand that kind of mentality and where it comes from. And it’s like being pressed down by the people around you or by the rules, the unsaid rules of how it’s supposed to be around here.

You don’t talk back. You don’t tell me that. You can’t go do that. You need to ask me, right? It’s this living in this oppressed relationship, environment. Some people work in this oppression.

And then you have the suppression, where you’re holding down these visions, these dreams, these desires, these wants. The thing that you want to say, the wanting to stand up for yourself, or like the empowerment is basically suppressed because it’s not okay in this oppressed environment for you to be that big shot, right?

That’s what they’ll say, you better get down off that pedestal. Yeah, you know, you already forgot where you came from, right? You hear that kind of sarcastic stuff, that’s coming from that oppression. And if you can’t face it because you don’t have the tools to stand up for yourself or to stand up, it could be even for your children.

Because you’ll see this even like in parenting that it’s not okay because you don’t want to be the rebellious one, You don’t want to be the bad one, right? You want to be kind and nice and polite and not push the edges. And so you suppress. You put it under the rug, you hide it. It’s like the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.

And then you have the repressed, which was completely defensive mechanism before you ever knew what you were doing. So all of that for me to talk about how to coach the conscious and the unconscious.

So mindset is coaching the part that is conscious, aware, awake. The thoughts that you can share, expose, pull out. You’re saying it every day. You’re talking about it. You’re telling your coach or whoever you’re talking to you. You know that those thoughts are there.

So whenever we’re coaching the unconscious or the subconscious there’s actually like a series of questions to ask in order to expose what’s going on. And the tools or access to get to it is you got to go beyond the mind, beyond the knowing of what you know.

And this is a tough part for so many people because we have been taught to be defensive, to protect ourself, to be resistant, to want to be right and to hold on to what we know. I see this so often with my coaching clients. So I just want to, with this episode I just want to expose the idea that you can learn more about this.

I’m doing a masterclass on it this week and that will be available for replay if you just send me an email and let me know that you’re interested. Or come to the More Than Mindset Facebook group, I’ll be talking about it there.

Or on my social medias, Facebook or Instagram, you can come, it’s under my name and let me know like, I’m really interested to know about that. I mean, we’ll put the link below, but in case you’re catching this episode, and it’s too late, then it gives you the option to get the replay.

So I am doing a series where I am going to teach how to do this for yourself, for your clients, for your patients if you are a practitioner. So I’m speaking to three categories of people.

One is maybe you’re a massage therapist, physical therapist, chiropractor, practitioner of mind/body work and you don’t have access to shifting or changing the way someone’s unconscious or subconscious is working. So I’m going to be teaching these tools.

The other person may be a coach that only does mindset work and doesn’t know how to go beyond the mind. And the third person is an individual who is into personal development, law of attraction, self-help, and you’ve just hit a brick wall and you just can’t figure it out. Like I can’t get it, I can’t see it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I can’t lose the weight. The relationship keeps going over and over the same fights. I’m not getting better no matter how much of this mindset work that I do.

And for the massage therapists and practitioner, you’re just seeing the same physical ailments over and over in your clients and you want to access tools that’s going to help them because you know that it’s more than what they’re saying. So it’s for those three categories of people.

So for today’s episode I wanted to give you the clarity, the awareness around the difference between repressed, suppressed, and oppressed. And also a deeper understanding of what do we mean by subconscious, unconscious, and conscious.

And just that awareness right there can help you to understand better how you function in the world and when you might be defensive because you’re protecting what you know and not even realizing that’s just the mind’s mechanism for needing to be right. Because that is what the mind does. It is like this projector that’s just constantly running this cycle over and over, where it’s just this is what we know, this is what we know, this is what we know.

And I’ll see this when I’m coaching some of my toughest clients. And they say, “I already tried that. I already know that. Of course I know, I’m the one who told you.” You can’t see that there is a subconscious story that is running. And I just want to offer you to be willing to let go of what you know so you can know something else.

Are you willing to let go of what you know in order to know something else? Just that, just that can change everything. Like I wake up every day and I’m like, how do we know that’s true? What is truth? Who knows that, really? Like I want to question everything. I want to live in a state of curiosity. I don’t want to be known as I know everything. She’s a know it all. I’m not even interested in that. It’s so boring.

And if something comes up for you that you’re supposed to be a smarty pants, that you’re supposed to know it all, that there’s something wrong with people who are not smart or not intelligent, that’s a belief system problem. It’s not true.

What if we could just be curious? Just so that we can know something else. Just so that we can understand something else. Just so that we can expose what’s happening in the subconscious so that we can live a happier freer life. So we can experience something that we’re not holding on to and trying to control. So we’re not being so attached to righteousness, to morals, to connectiveness, or whatever the story is that you were taught by your family, by your church, by your teachers. Are you willing to question?

Because that’s the curiosity that’s required. This is the first step, the curiosity that’s required to begin coaching the subconscious. It’s the very first thing. Are you willing to let go of what you know in order to tap into curiosity, to explore, see what else is available? Let go of the need to be right.

Even questioning, I need to be right because, and I guarantee you some kind of Boolean bull crap from the past is going to show up because we’re basically six and seven year olds running around in 50 year old bodies.

That’s typically the problem, is we’re working in adult bodies, but we’re really dealing with little children. Little hurt children that are running on the subconscious level and don’t even realize that these habits and patterns are ruining our life.

That’s it. That’s all I got for you today, is the willingness to question and to be curious and to let go of what you know and take the first step in coaching the unconscious, the subconscious. Now, the unconscious part, I’m going to tell you that’s a little bit tougher. And this is something that we do in session.

If you have this habit that you’ve just been doing over and over and over and over and you can’t break it, it could be you’re not able to break into wealth, like in other words you’re always just getting by, never enough money, can’t make ends meet. Like there’s probably something that’s going on on the unconscious or subconscious level.

You’re not going to be able to fix that with mindset. You’re not going to be able to fix it with hard work. No matter how hard you work, you’re going to continue to sabotage it if you have something running in the subconscious. It’s just how it is.

It’s not anything personal about you. There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re not defective. It’s just the way the mind works. And it’s the mechanism of the mind, body, brain connection, what’s happening in the nervous system, in your neurology, its habits and patterns of the past.

I don’t want to get too deep here because I can feel myself wanting to get excited. What I want to do is invite you to the conversation in the More Than Mindset Facebook group. And if you’re interested in, we’re going to run this again, it’s going to happen more than one time so I’m not sure when you’re going to catch this replay or this this recording.

But if you send me an email, or come into the group, tag me, send me a private message on Facebook or Instagram, then I will get the replay for you so that you can have a better understanding of how to do this for yourself, for your clients, for your patients.

And if you’re interested in doing the work, doing the course with me, then you can just reach out to me and let me know you’re interested and I’ll make sure to get you the information. Have a great week. Be willing to be surprised. Be okay with being curious and not knowing. And I wish you well.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.