Ep #165: The Comfort Zone is Overrated

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Hello, and welcome back to the show. I had something happen today and so I’m going to start off with a little story. So I have been thinking about this investment that I made. A very significant investment, as many of you make, especially because you’re coaches, and business owners, entrepreneurs. You know what it’s like when you take that next big step and you’re like holy smoke, the old identity is about to die.

So it’s one of those kinds of moments that I had the last few days. And today, I was like re-negotiating, right? Which is my New Year’s resolution, not to negotiate. And here I was doing it. So I was having a conversation with a friend and I was talking about it. And she’s also highly invested and so we were talking about the way we were feeling and what was coming up for us and, you know, just kind of coaching and supporting each other through it.

And I was taking my deep breath and I know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing. But, guys, just so you know, it doesn’t matter if it’s $2,000, $5,000, $50,000 or $100,000, it is still scary, right? So I honor you wherever you are and whatever you have invested in yourself, in your business, in your growth, in your personal transformation. It’s a really big deal.

So what happened was, after I got off the call with her I opened my email and there was something from Dropbox. And the name of the email was the comfort zone is overrated. Winks from the universe, gifts from God, confirmation, right, whatever you want to call it. But about an hour after getting off the call, when I’m still a little shaken up. I’ve done some tapping. I’ve done some breathing. I’ve done my work, I know what to do about this.

And I opened up my email and here it is, the comfort zone is overrated. No coincidences, right? So I had just walked across the yard and I was talking to my husband when I got off the call with her. And I was like, I am nervous. I’m really scared about this. I have taken risk in my business before, but this feels like a whole other level and I need you to come with me. Like I need your support.

Whether that looks like like holding my hand and coming all the way with me and getting involved in the business, or being at home and just supporting me in the business. But I’ve gone beyond being comfortable by myself. And coincidentally, the conversation was about comfort zones. And he’s retired, so he’s looking at life completely different than I am.

I’m 11 years younger than he is and so his vision, his goals, his dreams, his ambition are a totally different level. He is where I was, right? He was looking to save money, invest, you know, set himself up in a secure, or us up in a secure position so no matter what happened to him, I would be okay, the kids would be okay, the place would be okay.

So he is now in a different position than I am. And I tried settling with him. It’s so interesting, and I think that’s why this comfort zone was so impactful for me. I tried settling in the comfort zone with him. And I was like I could just stay home and garden, right? I can just like keep the house clean and fix you dinner. And he was like, oh, no, no, no, I know how this is going to turn out. Because we both know that when I’m not growing, I’m dying.

I am not the type of person who can sit around. I have a lot of energy. I have a lot of drive, a lot of fire and passion. And when I try to put this out and I try to compress it, I get depressed, I put on weight. Matter of fact, I believe the extra weight is unused potential.

I believe it’s the potential that we are here to live by. It’s the potential that we are here to actualize. And when we’re not actualizing it and we’re sitting in our comfort zone, it weighs us down and that physically shows up because we know what we think, what we feel, what we believe, becomes our reality.

And so if I am trying to, or we’re being told to be safe, to be secure, to make sure that we’re comfortable. I believe this has created a lot of soft humans in our world. And I believe this is why our defenses are not built up. If you quit going to the gym, if you quit lifting heavier weights, if you quit pushing your cardiovascular system, it is going to soften, it is going to weaken. And I want you to really think about this.

Listen, of course, the mind wants to tell you that we should be comfortable, it should be easy, it should feel good, right? And your brain needs the hit, it needs to know that it achieves something, that it did its job. We are meant to be action takers, to be risk takers, to be the livers of life. We need to live. We don’t want to settle and die. We don’t want to reach for comfort.

I really want to question your intention. Have you been striving for comfort? For ease? Have you been getting soft? Are your defenses down? Because I think about life like I think about the military, I think about business like I think about the military. Even my team, one of my team members was was in the army. I love the discipline that I can inspire and motivate in her. And I want to inspire and motivate that in you, and in more people, and even in myself.

When I settle, when I negotiate, when I reach for comfort and convenience, we begin to get soft. And we begin to get heavy and sluggish. And I’m no longer vibrant and alive. And I’m not a fighter anymore, I’m a settler. If we’re not growing, were dying.

And I am not talking about pushing, and driving, and resisting, and beating yourself up, and being cruel to your body. I’m not talking about that. We could do this in a way that is aligned with our integrity, with us valuing our physical body, our mental state, our emotional state.

But when we begin to cuddle in comfort, we begin to soften and we’re no longer prepared. We’re no longer able to defend and support ourselves. And if this was the military and this was your team, or your brigade, or however they say this, your unit, would you guys want to be hanging out drinking beer, eating chips, watching Netflix and then going out to fight the next day?

Like what if the camp gets attacked? Are you going to be prepared? No, your mind is not going to be sharp, your brain is not going to be prepared. Your body is not going to be ready because you chose comfort.

I think the comfort zone is overrated. Send me a message. Give us a review, tell me what you think about this. Come over to the More Than Mindset Facebook group. Tag me, find me, send me a private message, send me an email, whatever you need to do. I want to hear your thoughts about the comfort zone because what I noticed the end of last year is I was negotiating so much I had put on 30 pounds of weight. I have gotten 20 pounds down since I started really incorporating the action back in my life.

And I created a brand new technique, it’s what I have been doing for years and I put it into a course and my clients have been doing it. I’m doing a challenge on it starting Sunday. If you happen to be catching this on time I’m going to be teaching all of the steps of how to get it done. How to build your business, how to make more money, how to help more clients, how to create impact in the world. How to get it done.

So what I noticed is I was negotiating. And when I was negotiating, I quit elevating. And I had to make the decision. I was at a retreat, it was a retreat that I was hosting. I think it was the last retreat I hosted, actually. And that theme kept coming around we’re either elevating or negotiating, elevating or negotiating.

What does negotiating look like? And I made a list. And I was like what does elevating look like? And I made a list. And let me tell you, on the elevating list there was nothing about a comfort zone. It was actually the risk taking zone. And so if that looks like investing in yourself, in your business, in your personal growth, in a mentor, in someone to help you to attain your goals, I’m here to tell you that money is meant to be played with.

So it’s like a dance like everything else. It’s a dance with life. It’s a dance with money. It’s a dance with investment, with growing, with elevating, with abundance and prosperity. It’s you telling yourself, God, the universe, life that you are ready.

When I put that money in, when I signed on the dotted line, I freaked out. And I’m still freaking out, and I’m still doing it. I’m dancing in the fear. I’m dancing in the fight, right? I’m in it, I’m in it to win it. I’m in the ring. I’m not in the audience. I was in the audience. I decided it was too hard and my why had gotten small. And I ejected the game and I decided to just not play this round. I was just going to take the season off. And I got heavy, and sluggish, and bored, and depressed.

And I just want to ask you, are your dreams big enough? Is your why big enough? And are you going for comfort? Or are you going for elevation? Are you going for creation? Are you going for celebration? Those things are so different.

So I wanted to talk to you about that this week. I would love to get some feedback from anyone who is listening. If you have friends, family, peers that need to hear this message, I ask you to share it, to leave a review. Help me get the word out. My mission is to help millions of people with the message and the tools of personal transformation and self-healing. And I do this through the avenue of partners.

I train health and wellness practitioners how to integrate my unique mind body coaching process, technique, framework, whatever you want to call it, into their practice so they can help their clients self-heal. And so it’s taking them deeper than mindset. It’s taking them deeper than medicine, or deeper than like, you know, we’ve kind of just been taught between the medical community and the mindset community and the religious community. But we have missed the disconnection between the mind and the body. And that is what this conversation is about today.

Are you going for comfort? Or Are you going for creation? Do you want to create something? Do you want to express? Do you want to contribute to the world? Or do you want to go for comfort? Do you want to like snuggle up with a blanket, and popcorn, and candy bars, and Netflix and whatever? Even the sound of it doesn’t inspire me. It is not something that I thrive for, and maybe that’s because I have had the opportunity to have it and I just didn’t like it.

I need to have some flow and flexibility, and some dance, and some drive and some passion. I need to feel that inside of me. I need to be emotionally driven. I need to be emotionally elevated. I don’t know about you, but I need some extreme in my life. My husband, he’s like a lake. He’s super calm and, you know, if we looked at our Human Designs, we would be able to see that in our design.

But he’s super calm, he doesn’t want any trouble, any struggle. He doesn’t want to grow anymore. He’s almost 65 years old, he’s got an amazing life. He’s super fit, he’s coaching my grandsons in baseball right now. He’s got it, like he’s living it up. He’s put in his 40 years of working, he’s like done with that stuff. But I need the extremes. I need the highs and the lows. I need to ride the waves of life. Like I need to grab the rope and ride.

I want to invite you to come and do that with me. Come to More Than Mindset. Come to E-school if you want to grow your business. Come to Self-Healing masters if you want to grow yourself. There’s so much opportunity for you here. Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for following along. Thank you for sharing, I really appreciate you. And I hope I encouraged you not to thrive for comfort.

And just so you know, it doesn’t have to be harder than what you’re doing. Because settling was really hard. Getting up every day without a vision, going to bed every night not tired, that was hard. This is hard, but it’s a different kind of hard. It’s more of a motivating, inspiring kind of hard. And because I know I’m doing it in a community, and I’m doing it with other practitioners, I’m doing it with other healers and helpers, it just makes it worth it. It feels good.

It feels good when you lose 20 pounds. When you gain muscle, when you gain energy. When you become vibrant in the mind, when you’re a quick thinker, when you feel good, when you feel accomplished, when you celebrate. Guys, that just feels good. It’s like it’s a heightened emotion, I invite you to it. I hope you can feel it through my words. Okay, that’s what I have, until next week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.