Ep #281 How to Transform Confusion into Action

In this episode of More Than Mindset, we dive into the often-overwhelming feeling of confusion that comes with being a new or evolving business owner.

Normalizing confusion is crucial to taking action in business.

Understand why confusion is a natural part of the growth process and how to navigate it effectively.

Key Takeaways Include:

  • The psychological reasons behind feeling confused when learning new things
  • Steps to normalize and accept confusion as part of the journey
  • The importance of taking action despite feeling confused
  • Strategies to stay motivated and committed to progress
  • Personal anecdotes and practical tips for overcoming confusion and moving forward.

Tune to this quick episode to transform your confusion!

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Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

Ep #281 How to Transform Confusion into Action

Hello, and welcome back to the show guys. I’ve got a juicy one for you today. It is all about confusion. If you are a new business owner or fairly new business owner, or your business is growing and changing, this one is for you. So first of all, I’m just going to preface this with I have been feeling confused, and so have my clients, and that is no coincidence.

Listen, as a coach, you probably already know that a lot of your growth, It comes from what your clients are presenting. It’s kind of like a mirror. They show us what’s going on in us and we show them what’s going on, right? It’s like back and forth. It’s like playing tennis.

So what I want to say about it today. Is when you are learning something new, something that you haven’t done before, confusion is normal. I’m going to read the definition to you. It is a lack of understanding, uncertainty. There seems to be some confusion about which system does what. He cleared up the confusion over the policy.

It is a situation of panic and a breakdown of order, a disorderly jumble. It is also the state of being bewildered or unclear in one’s mind about something. So, of course, you feel confused if you’re new to business, if you’re learning something new. If you’re trying to speak another language, you would be confused because there is a lack of order of what you’ve been used to.

So, in the show today, we’re I want to see if we can find a state of calm in the confusion. So confusion is okay. I’m not going to make confusion bad. It’s winning in the state of confusion that it’s an issue. Confusion is a normal part of the process of change. Anytime you’re moving from a familiar pattern into an unfamiliar state, your brain is going to feel confused.

Confused. Confused. The, when you just look at the way, like the way that your brain works in general, it needs things to be familiar. Doesn’t like chaos, doesn’t like confusion, doesn’t like not knowing. That is very, very scary and it puts you into fright and freeze mode. The brain is lazy. It wants to save energy and so it doesn’t want to use a lot of effort.

And change requires effort. It needs things to be familiar so that you feel safe. It does not feel safe not knowing what you were doing or what you were about to do. So this is when mindset is most beneficial. When you can normalize and neutralize confusion, okay, I’m confused. My brain doesn’t know what to do.

I’m not thinking clearly. I don’t understand. I’m feeling chaos and conflict, and I’m not sure what to do next. And that creates a state of unsafety. In me and, and it’s scary and I tend to shut down. I emotionally react by shutting down. Would you say that you understand that? I completely understand this.

We’re like, we’re doing some new branding stuff right now and we’re having to like write scripts where I’ve been riffing all of my life. I’ve never like sat down and planned out like how I was going to do the show or what I was going to talk about. Well, we’ve been learning more. About teaching and scripting and putting the content in a better received way, like in order to, to present it better.

Very confused. That’s not how I learned things. And so I don’t know how to teach it that way. It’s very uncomfortable. So I get you is what I’m saying. But I don’t think. It’s wrong or bad that I feel confused or that you feel confused. We just need to understand it. So if you know the punchline approach, if you don’t, I’ll explain it to you.

The first step is really just getting present and being aware. Okay, I’m aware that I feel confused. I feel conflict. I feel a little lost and afraid. I am not sure if I’m ever going to get this right. That’s what you’re aware of. You’re aware that you’re uncomfortable. That doesn’t feel like it’s going to work out.

You’re not sure that you’ll ever learn this new thing and nothing Nothing feels safe or familiar. Step one is to recognize, to be aware. And you know, it might take you being here for a few days before moving any further. But for those who get that and you want to move to the next step, the second step is to understand.

Oh, I understand. That is how I learn. That’s how my brain works. Oh, and my mind is telling me all of these stories, which is making me feel uncomfortable. Okay. I’m starting to understand it. If I can understand it, I can change it. If I can understand it, I can change the way that I feel. I can find some comfort.

I can feel more grounded when I understand that this is normal. This is how I learned. This is how it’s supposed to feel. This is okay. Ah, then I feel relief. Because now I understand I’m not left out. I’m not left behind. I’m not wrong. I’m not bad. There’s not something wrong with me. I’m not broken, but I can understand that.

I can release all of the mental drama and I can release all of this pressure, the pressure to hurry up and figure it out. The pressure to like kind of move through the weeds when I really don’t understand what’s going on. Okay. I get it. I understand that pressure makes me feel very uncomfortable. It puts me into nervous system dysregulation and then I start getting frantic and then I have no clarity and it makes the confusion worse.

Wow. Okay. Good to know. Check. So once you get that. A lot of the sensation is going to settle down. Now the next step is the most important, the hardest to get to, but the most important. The next step is about taking action and it’s doing something even though you feel confused, even though you feel afraid, even though you aren’t sure, sure what to do.

Action. Is the answer. When you feel confused, you have to take an action. You have to do something. You have to move in the confusion. You don’t need to like set it aside or cut it away or close the door on it. You don’t need to go on vacation. You don’t need to like take a break from it. You need to get closer to it.

You want to like press in because that discomfort is going to be with transformation and change. So you can’t really get rid of it. Can’t throw it away. You can’t bypass it. You can’t go around it. But what you can do. It’s get used to it, understand it and move despite it. Hope that makes sense. So now you’re in the discomfort, in the confusion, in the chaos, you’re feeling conflicted like, I don’t know what to do.

I want to just go back to what I know, but dammit, that’s not what I want. What I want is not back there. What I want is up there. Ah, okay. This is so frustrating to be confused. Okay. I get it. I get it. I get it. It’s confusing. It’s even more confusing that I’m supposed to be okay with this because I’m not right.

So you’re just like constantly talking to yourself. You feel a little crazy and that’s okay. So it’s as if you’re like afraid of heights and you’re standing on the edge of the building. You don’t run backwards because then when you come closer, you get woozy. You go close, close, close, and you look it in the eye and you let all of the emotions come up.

You stay, you breathe and you will begin to regulate around it and that is how you beat it. You’re not going to want to though. You’re going to want to go like take a nap. It’s exhausting by the way, to be in this energetic pull and stay in it. It like sucks your energy. It takes a lot of focus to stay.

This is, we sense this whenever we’re moving through these blocks and we’re working with clients. They are very exhausted after the session because it takes a lot of force to not run away. To walk into it, to stay with it, it’s ex, I, I feel exhausted just talking about it because it’s like, it’s, I bring this up in my imagination and I take you there with me.

And so I feel what I’m talking about and I want to like, just close my eyes. That’s what it feels like. That’s not going to get you to where you want to become. So you’re kind of in a hot spot. You can’t turn around and go do what you did before because then you won’t change. You can’t really stay in it because it’s uncomfortable and you keep checking out, right?

You keep checking out of the awareness. You keep checking out. You’re not feeling stable and then you can’t be the future yet because you haven’t actually haven’t embodied that yet. And so this, this really wonky, uncomfortable place, welcome. Welcome. That is what it’s like to grow a business. That is what it’s like to be an entrepreneur, to learn a new trade.

You’re going to feel confused because you’ve never done it before. I’m going to feel confused. I want to keep pulling the plug on this deal that I made. I want to keep turning around, changing my mind. But then I go back to what I was, that’s not what I want. I want to go create something else. But gosh, is it hard?

Yes. I want it anyway. I want it anyway. I don’t want to be uncomfortable, but I don’t want to stay stuck in what I’ve been doing. So I’m going to ask you today, which one do you want? Do you want to go back to what your brain is calling comfortable? That’s actually not comfortable. It’s settling. It’s mediocrity.

It’s average or below average. You could. No one is required to grow. It won’t hurt anyone else. but it will for sure hurt you. It will hurt me to stop, to run and hide, to cross my arms and sit there and watch everybody else living life and me not participating. That’s going to suck more. So what I’m asking you is, are you willing to go in through the new suck?

Or do you want to stay in the old suck? I’m, I’m in the new suck all the way. And when I’m experiencing this, I guarantee you my clients are experiencing this because we’re a mirror. Like I was saying, whenever I first came on, I see myself in their confusion. I just do. Just like you see yourself in your clients.

It is the beauty of change worker. It’s, it’s what makes this so powerful. If we’re not willing to do our own work, we can’t help them do their work. So of course it’s going to be uncomfortable, but what I’ve mastered or learned how to do is keep taking action even though it’s uncomfortable. Even though it’s, I feel like I’m like, it’s heated, it’s anxious, it’s confused, it’s scary.

It’s, ah, right? It’s like this, this moment of massive conflict, internal conflict. I don’t want to be uncomfortable and I don’t want to be what I was. And I don’t know how to become what I want to be yet. I don’t know how to speak that language. I don’t know how to make those decisions. But one decision I can make today is I don’t want to go back to what wasn’t working.

And maybe that’s the only thing you need to decide today is that you will keep moving forward even though you’re confused, even though you’re feeling conflict, even though it feels chaotic and scary. Maybe, maybe the one action you will take today It’s to not bail out, to not quit, to not bypass, to not go take a nap or eat a bag of chips.

Just stay and find one thing to do. You make the decision and one thing to do. What will I do that’s going to move me forward for myself? I created a school account, love to invite all of you there. I’m pretty sure it’s like in the show notes. I’m going to go record some videos for you when you get there.

I’m going to go record some trainings. I’m going to go do something that I do know how to do to take me out of that state of confusion. I’m going to go take an action. Hopefully, something that’s going to move me forward and not be hard. It doesn’t have to be hard. It could be just I’m going to go put up one post.

I’m going to go do a short video. I’m going to create a document to share with my clients. I’m going to go make a list of five things to talk on and I’m going to do my first live on the first one. It has to be something that you follow all the way through and finish the cycle. So don’t start a bunch of things and then not do it.

Find one thing that you can do from start to finish. Once you feel that achievement of finishing something, it’s going to make all this go away. So what’s happening right now is you’re not in action because the confusion has shut you down. And so it’s put you in white space and it’s very confusing in white space because your brain is stuck in fear and it’s like you can’t decide what to do and it’s taking all this massive energy and you’re like, your eyes are kind of rolling and you’re like trying to grab your head and you’re trying to make sense of it, but it doesn’t make sense.

But taking an action and doing something that you already know how to do, that is going to do it. I guarantee you. So that is my challenge for you is number one, decide, are you going to stay in the game? Are you going to stay? Even though it’s tough, can you hold the confusion? I’ve been confused for three weeks.

It’s like, this is confusing. It’s confusing. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to do it well. And I really don’t like doing anything that sucks. I don’t like looking like a fool. I don’t like sounding like a fool. I don’t like it, but I’m going to keep showing up and I’m going to keep doing the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

And eventually it’s going to look like I’ve known how to do it all my life. So make that decision, please stay. I would love more of you to stay. I celebrate every time a coach comes back because many of them quit and then they realize it’s not better on the quitting side. It’s not fun on the confusion side, definitely not fun on the quitting side.

Okay, my friends take care. Stay in the game because it is a game. It’s just a game. Do you want to win? That’s all you need to decide. If you want to win, then go find one action that’s pretty simple to do that you can do from start to finish and then you will feel accomplished and you will come back into your confidence and belief in yourself.

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