Ep #243: The Power of Control and Self Regulation

Let’s be real: Success is scary. 

In this episode, I’ve got something personal to share with you, something I’ve been navigating recently.

Picture this: I’m going about my day, doing coaching calls, and everything seems to be going great. But then, out of nowhere, I find myself in tears. So, what do I do? I hit record on the podcast because I believe in being real and sharing what’s happening in the moment – but also for my own processing.

I’m going to dive into those unexpected emotions I experienced and they all are coming from the fear of success. 

 

Overcome your limiting money beliefs so you can have more of it! Join me for Belief Bootcamp Online October 17th, 2023. Register HERE.

 

Here’s what you’ll get from tuning in:

  • Embracing Vulnerability: Learn how being open and vulnerable can be a game-changer for personal growth.

  • The Fear of Success: We’ll talk about that strange fear that creeps in when things are going really well in your life.

  • Emotional Presence: Discover the power of being present with your feelings, both the good and the not-so-good.

  • Real-Life Personal Development: I’ll show you that personal development isn’t always smooth sailing—it’s a rollercoaster ride.

  • Inspiration for Your Journey: You’ll hear my own experiences, and I hope they’ll inspire you on your path to self-discovery and success.

Join me in this candid episode where I share my thoughts and emotions about what comes up when everything is going well and how you can notice it in your growth. 

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend, and leave a rating and review so we can get this content out to more people! 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Ep #243: The Power of Control and Self Regulation

Welcome to More Than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey there and welcome back to the show. So I’m having a moment. So I decided to process it on a podcast because I need to hear myself move through this. Something feels significant is happening. I just put up a post like I’m feeling really emotional, rather sappy and soft out of nowhere.

So I was on a coach a couple of calls today. I did a podcast interview earlier, and I’m crying, and then I’m doing a coach call and I’m crying, and I was like, what is going on? So I had like calls all day long, and this has been here, and it’s actually broken through a few times. And so I just got in my car to go home and I decided to come back in and go ahead and get this recorded for next week, next week’s episode of the podcast because I think it’s important to move through some of this unfamiliar discomfort, I’ll call it.

There is absolutely nothing going wrong and that’s kind of what’s tripping me up. And I sat here and I jotted, I journaled. That’s what I do when I’m processing something or trying to feel my way through it. And I feel like my heart is wide open. So I feel very vulnerable. I’m transparent about it. I don’t feel like I need to hide it. But what’s really interesting is quite a few memories came up today in coaching and some of the questions that I was answering and considering, and I fell into this space of like, it’s like a very sovereign gratitude. So it’s a moment of awareness where I recognized and realized some things that I just, not for any other reason than just habit, I just hadn’t thought of in a long time.

And I’ve talked about the gap in the game recently. I’ve been talking to my clients a lot about staying in the game, recognizing when we’re in the gap, when we’re driving and trying to force something compared to when we’re in appreciation from where we’ve been to where we are now. And so maybe it’s just a little bit of all of that, but there’s something else and I just discovered what it is. And so that’s why I wanted to come on and talk about it today while I was in the moment. Whether I cry or not, I really don’t care.

I don’t want to miss this moment because it seems to be really significant. There are a lot of things going well, really well in my life and with my family, with my business, with my team. We are attracting some amazing talent that wants to come and do this work with us. My team is like having their life is being transformed through this work. My clients are killing it. And see, that’s what makes me wanna cry. My clients are killing it, and that’s probably where it started at this morning. And they’re, they’re seeing the results, they’re in the win, they’re in the gain. And I am so grateful that I continue to be a hard ass and push them and show them their potential and just believe and love in them with them until they can see it for themselves.

So I think that’s a part of it. But the other part that just came to my awareness when I was getting in the car is how afraid I am when things are going really well because there’s, there’s a belief era about that being a problem. And then like I have this whole mental thing of, well, if everything is going well then what do we worry about? What do we work on? What do we try to fix? My mind just breaks the hell out if it has nothing to do or it doesn’t have a problem to solve. And I know that is just a habit, but the reason I wanted to speak on it and be vulnerable about it is because most of us who are driven to create impact in this world, to move change forward and to break these old patterns, to get outta scarcity, hit these spots, we hit these moments where this, it’s just like crap moving through the emotional body.

It’s, it’s nothing but my mind wants to make a big deal out of it. And I realize it is residue. It’s just old left over stuff that has no place to go. There’s no place to attach to. It doesn’t have any emotional relevance. It’s just there. It’s just moving through. If any of you are meditation practitioners and while you’re sitting in meditation, thoughts will happen and emotion and discomfort will happen and it just moves through us. We don’t stop and pay attention to it. But when you are in everyday life and not in meditation, sometimes we get caught up or tripped up in thinking that there’s something wrong. I don’t have a problem, there is nothing wrong, but there’s something happening within my nervous system, within my neurology by meaning my thoughts, whatever’s going on in my mind, whatever’s going on in my brain, in my body that’s having this sensation, this feeling that’s coming up that I should be afraid that things are going so well. That something bad is gonna happen. And I’m very aware of the fear of success, but I had a little bit of a moment, like there’s a deeper layer of this, that it’s even more profound.

Because I had a coach call and I had this person get very vulnerable. We were having a really deep conversation about their life. And I saw so much potential in them and I saw so much of where they’re getting in their way, where they’re pushing people away. They’ve got walls up, and I saw the vision of their life, and I started speaking it, and they felt it, and they were crying, and they were like, “That’s what I want, that’s what I’m afraid of.” And so it wasn’t fear of failure that was holding them back. It was a fear of this success that they couldn’t possibly even imagine that someone else could see for them, and they just felt that tension between where they are now and where they want to be.

I was talking to my business partner a few days ago and we were going through some numbers and he’s like, “You’re almost a seven figure coach.” And I’m like, “Damn, that’s crazy.” And I started thinking about how long it took me to get there, and it’s just, I didn’t have the context until a few days ago. It’s taken me a long time. I had a different business that I started almost eight years ago. I started doing this work and people found me and I had a different thing I was doing in the beginning, but they were hiring me for this work. And it was almost eight years ago that I decided I wanted to do this work, this coaching and this thought work, and it’s taken me almost eight years to hit the place in my business where I can start seeing seven figures on the horizon.

So that was a really profound moment for me because I feel like I’ve done it quickly, but I hadn’t put it in context. And the reason I share that with you is because I want you to look at where you are and just trust that if you have this calling, if you have this knowing, if you are committed to evolving, if you’re committed to growing, and not from a place of trying to get away from something or trying to prove something to someone else or trying to make it mean something about you, but if you’re just committed to evolving, to becoming a better human, to growing, to facing your shit, to doing the work, to showing up, to creating the discipline in your life, to say, “I’m not going to tolerate this way of being anymore,” whatever that is for you.

And you just keep making those shifts, keep taking those steps, keep taking those leaps. And you’re going to have moments like I’m having today. You’re gonna have these moments where it feels like, oh my God, is this really my life? Is this really my reality? Am I really living this dream life? Is this really happening? And for me, I have the thought of this other shoe’s going to drop. Like, it can’t possibly be this good. And it’s almost like this wholehearted surrender to the unknown and to what’s possible that just kind of wells up within me.

And I wanted to capture this moment on this podcast for you because I want you to know that it is not all sunshine and rainbows. And that’s what the personal development space can make it look like. It can make it look like, oh, if you just think good thoughts, then all the good things will happen to you and there will be no bad things. But it’s not true. Life is 50/50, as Brooke Castillo says. It’s 50% positive emotion, 50% negative emotion. It’s part of being human. But it’s our resistance to the negative emotion that creates suffering. It’s our resistance to the discomfort that creates suffering.

And so I want to share this with you because I’m not resisting it. I’m leaning into it. I’m allowing it to flow through me, to wash over me, to be present with it, to not try to make it mean anything about me or my life or my success or my future, but just to allow it to be what it is. And I want to encourage you to do the same because when you can do that, when you can be present with your emotions, when you can allow them to flow through you, when you can be vulnerable and transparent about what you’re experiencing, that’s where the real growth happens.

That’s where you start to uncover the beliefs that are holding you back, the fears that are keeping you stuck, the patterns that are keeping you from your highest potential. And so as I sit here in my car recording this podcast, feeling these emotions, allowing them to be here, not trying to make them mean anything, just being with them, I’m grateful for this moment because I know that on the other side of this is growth, is expansion, is a deeper level of understanding and awareness of myself, of my beliefs, of my patterns, and that’s what’s gonna propel me to the next level in my life and my business.

So I encourage you to do the same. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, whether it’s positive or negative, whether it’s joy or sadness or fear or excitement, allow it to be there, be present with it, lean into it, and see what you can learn from it because it’s all part of the journey. It’s all part of the human experience. And when you can embrace it all, that’s where the magic happens.

So thank you for being here with me in this moment. Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable and transparent with you. I hope that this serves you in some way and that you can take something from it and apply it to your own life and your own journey. And I’ll be back next week with another episode. In the meantime, take care and keep creating your own version of a beautiful life.

Now, I’m gonna go home and have a good cry. Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.

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