Ep #49: Creating On Purpose

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with Clarity and Confidence Coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey there and welcome back to the show. Today we are going to talk about creating on purpose. So if you remember the episode last week, I spoke about – I’ll call it the vision wall in my local business where we wanted to create something but we never put anything on the wall, and then we created nothing. Everything just fell apart, literally, at the end of the year.

And what I learned from that, my takeaway is us being really strategic and not just saying it. You know I talk about the different between knowing and Knowing, like with a capital Know, like know now. And then small k and kind of like truth, little t, big T. It’s kind of like that.

There’s this creating consciously, creating unconsciously. We created unconsciously. We kind of put it off and thought it was going to take care of itself and we were waiting for the results to see. We were going to see what was going on, what was happening, and they were going to tweak it from there, instead of just deciding and doing it on purpose.

That’s what we’re going to talk about. So here’s what’s happening. I talked about the transition of transformation where you are not that person anymore, you have not received those results, you have not done the thing that you wanted to do yet. But you’re not the old self, you’re not the new self, and you’re like, right in between. Does that make sense?

So I’m not her, I don’t think the same way, I don’t feel the same way. Something has happened, perception has changed, my personality is changing, my desires are changing. I’m not quite sure who the flip I am right now. And I’m not what I want yet, so what do I do?

It’s kind of like this really lost feeling. And it’s kind of a mind fuck. Don’t really know where to get or draw the information from in order to move forward. Can you all relate? So when you’re not that person anymore and you’re not yet the new person, you are in transition to becoming.

So I’ve been using this at my business, so if any of you were my coaches in the last couple of weeks, you’ve seen, there was a pencil and there was this wide jar on my desk, and that’s kind of like, the older self was the pencil. It’s very small, limited, it only used that very small point to create because the perception was so small. And then this big jar, oh my god, it held all of the potentiality and possibility and there was so much more than could be imagined. It was this big open empty space.

And we try to take this old perception to create this new grander more kind of thing. And it’s like it doesn’t make sense. And so as I was talking, the pencil just kind of laid itself down and made a bridge. So it’s like I would walk my fingers on the bridge going into the bigger jar. So it’s like we’re going from this limited perception, the limited mindset, the old stories, the samskaras, the conditioning and patterns, all of the limitations that you’ve been taught in life are like the pencil.

And then we walk across the bridge as we are becoming the bigger potentiality and possibility. And as soon as we doubt, doubt disconnects from the vision. Doubt pulls away. It’s like the thing that you want is coming, you’re on your way there, you’re walking. Imagine you’re walking across a drawbridge and you’re getting to the other side, and then the drawbridge comes up. That’s what happens when you doubt.

You separate yourself from what it is that you’re creating because your new thoughts are I don’t believe it, I can’t do it, I knew it wasn’t possible, and that perception of I can’t and I’m limited and it’s not working is the new thing that you begin to create. It’s crazy. If you have not heard the of law of attraction episode, you can go back and listen to that one. I’m not sure exactly what number it is.

But it’s kind of like the missing step of why we’re not manifesting what we want. It’s when doubt comes in, and then we begin to entertain the doubt, and then we begin to grow the doubt. So that’s like, you’re going, you’re walking, you’re walking, I’m getting there, I’m feeling good, this is great, then it’s like, oh, my feet are hurting, this is taking so long, it’s so hard, I don’t know if I’ll ever get there.

Imagine when you start thinking that, that the bridge starts drawing up and you start walking backwards. You’re suddenly going uphill. It’s like you have to start going down because you can’t resist. The gravity is pulling you down. And so you’re getting further away from what you’re trying to create.

So that’s creating unconsciously. You unconsciously begin to create the old habit mindset, behavior, the old person. And it’s because you’re in between. You’re not the old person yet, you’re not the new person yet, and you’re trying to find your way. You’re like the toddler who’s trying to walk. You’re kind of wobbly, or the fawn that’s just born.

It’s like they’re kind of wobbly out in the pastures. They haven’t found their footing. But because these samskaras are so deep, these emotional charges and triggers in your body, you instantly go into that – I call emotional signature of defeat and despair and doubt. And it starts drawing you back into your older world.

So important that we keep coming back to these first three steps. You have to become aware and you have to watch all of this and know it’s happening. That’s why I repeat it so often. And then you have to question everything and you have to start asking, is that true or is that just a thought? Where is this doubt coming from? What brought this on?

Unveil, start to dismantle whatever it is, and then you navigate, wow, that’s the old me. Oh, I see it now. I remember. I got you. I can see. I can see where I’m doing that again. That’s the old neuropathway speaking, that’s that deep rut. Like oh yeah, you are like, walking hunky dory, you’re in the sunshine, you’re excited, you take in every next step, you’re feeling really good. The thought comes in, you begin to doubt, the bridge rises up, you start to walk backwards, you go further away from what you want, and then you’re like, what’s happening?

Suddenly, I’ve got all this resistance. Suddenly this is not comfortable anymore. Something is happening. There’s this distraction that happens, and that’s when we unconsciously go back to the habits. It seems very subtle because it’s how you always functioned before. So it’s very, very familiar.

So you have to have awareness to recognize when it happens again so you can turn it around. And it’s very simple. Wow, that’s not me, I’m going straight. I’m not going backwards. And the drawbridge will start dropping back down and it’ll get easier to keep walking forward, and you just take the next step and the next step and the next step and you keep going.

Guys, I swear to you, this is the how that you’re looking for. It’s not the website, it’s not the pretty branding. It’s not all of that stuff. It’s the belief work. It’s staying in belief. So this is something I’m working really deeply with my clients right now because we just finished this month and so now we’re walking into the part where they’re actually creating the business that they want.

And it’s very important that they stay aware of the belief that’s happening in the now. And so if there is an under-shadowy, gloomy doubt, this will never happen, I don’t know how long it’ll take, this is so hard, I’m getting blisters on my feet, I’m tired of walking, I’ve already taken a million steps and it hasn’t happened yet, those little subtle thoughts. If you keep repeating them in your mind, you are growing them and that’s the results that you’re creating. The same of the old. Crazy.

This is the work. Once you’ve unveiled the old story, once you’ve done the transformation work, once you’ve released it, there’s still some residue. There’s still some old memory in the body. This is what we’re working through in the transition of transformation. It’s like it’s still cleaning itself out. It’s still processing. And so you have to be very mindful.

You continue to breathe, make sure you’re letting go on the exhale, keep reminding yourself that you’re not what you were. You have to keep talking to yourself. This is the dialogue between you and your higher self. This is between you and all of the parts of yourself actually.

Because we don’t just throw out that part and we’re done with it. It’s all a part of our wholeness. So I see this all the time with healers and coaches and practitioners. They get the transformation themselves. They’re like, oh my god, I finally got out of hell. I got the get out of jail card. The past. I’ve got some liberation. I feel joy for the first time ever. I feel into my body, I feel so grounded and supported. I feel like I could create anything. Life is amazing, I’m so glad I’ve done this work. It was super hard but so rewarding.

You guys get to that point and then you want to share it with the world. You’re like, oh, it hurts so badly to see other people suffering. I can tell them how I did it and I can help them get out of it. I’m going to become a coach. I’m going to become a massage therapist, I’m going to become a practitioner, I’m going to help other people.

This is why we get into the helping modalities. So once you’ve overcome terrible health, poverty, scarcity, broken relationships, lack of intimacy, shame, once you’ve gotten over that, just as a human, we want to help. That’s just how we’re created. It’s how we’re functioning. It’s how we’re supposed to be. We’re here for connection, we’re here for experience.

Once we figure it out, we want everyone else to figure it out so they can come and play with us. That’s what I say. I’m like, I want you to come and play in my world. It’s so much better over here. All of those years of depression and scarcity and fear and worry and anxiety, like, I have to tell everyone, I cannot believe as much as I research, I counted 465 books, by the way.

I’ve been decluttering and cleaning out. I had 12,000 pictures on my phone and I had all of these books, emails, I was just holding onto all of this stuff that had given me a-ha moments in the past. And so I went into the old habit of I need to keep this in case. You see? You see how it shows up in other places?

I’ve done it in my closet, I’ve done it in my love life, I’ve done it with things, I’ve done it with food. How we do anything is how we do everything. And so once we realize like, liberation is possible, joy is possible, wow, there’s a way out. What about my family and friends? This feels awful, I feel so disconnected from them.

Like, oh, I need to tell them so that they can come onboard. I’ve got this responsibility to share with the world. I need to tell everyone. And you got to be careful because this is when we go into that desperation, we go into that people-pleasing, and it’s this point of convincing, and then you feel defeated if they don’t get what you got. And this is like that wounded healer.

What’s happening is there’s still some emotional residue that hasn’t been resolved and it comes up when something in our environment happens and it triggers us. And what’s happening is that residue, that old scars, these energy little bubbles or pockets that are in our body, they’re coming up for a better outcome.

So the experience creates the trigger, then our mind thinks we need to fix the problem or we need to fix the people. But what’s actually happening is it’s an internal process of cleaning up the remainder. All of the emotional stuff that hasn’t been resolved. Because we can’t do this all at one time. It’s a process.

We are creating a whole new earth, a whole new body, a whole new system, a whole new way. And so it’s not going – the liberation, the feeling of joy, the light, the ease coming out of the shame, that is instantaneous. As soon as we do the work and we go into the unconscious story and we dismantle it, you guys feel it. I feel it, you know it, we’ve done it.

But then there’s that acclimating it back into the real world, and then it’ll come up again and then we clean that up, do it again, and then it’ll come up again. It’s kind of like grief, how grief is processed in stages and steps. I think literally we would die if we tried to transform and even process grief in one shot, like if we tried to do it one day.

You have to go through every holiday, you have to go through all of the relationships and the connections that you had with that person or that thing that you’re grieving. Grief is not just in person. It’s also in jobs and careers and marriages and dreams that have died. And what’s happening is it’s coming up to say hey, I’m still here, you think we can work this out?

And you do the same exact process. You come back into presence, you unveil, you ask the questions, you discover, and then you navigate and come back into belief. Guys, that’s the process. Three steps. All the time, all the time, all the time, we keep coming back.

So what’s happening is the mind wants to control and it wants to change the circumstance. It wants to change the story that’s in the logical, tangible world, and that’s not how it works. This is all internal stuff and it’s your work. But your desperation is trying to fix it in other people so that you feel good, so that you feel connected, and it’s really the connection with yourself that you’re looking for.

So in order to create on purpose, you have to be aware of all of the stuff that’s happening that’s causing you to create unconsciously, not on purpose. So consciously is you know it, you see it on all levels, you understand it. Unconsciously is habits and behaviors and programs and stories that’s just comfortable and familiar. 95% of what we do is coming from the unconscious, so this is like, a lifetime of work.

I don’t know that we ever reach enlightenment. I truly don’t know that. I think it’s just constant little stages of being in the light. So it’s the process of enlightenment. I don’t think it’s a, oh, we get there and it’s just done. As long as we are having the human experience, we’re constantly shifting through the stages. And so the way I see enlightenment is it’s your time being in the light.

And then you go into the shadow, you go into the darkness so that you can recognize the contrast, and then your role, your job is to bring it back into the light. So that’s the process that I created, that one, two, three steps. Constantly coming back to presence and awareness, constantly coming back to ask the questions, constantly navigating through it.

Don’t try to create on purpose until you’ve done those first three steps, and I’m going to tell you why. You will recreate the past. Over and over again, you will come back to being the pencil. You will come back to the limitation because that is the familiar perception. That’s how it has been, and so it’s going to be very natural for you to do that.

So if you don’t do these three steps, you’re going to marry the same guy, you’re going to get the same job, you’re going to attract the same clients, you’re going to stay in the money story, you’re never going to be able to get over and beyond, you’re never going to get to the other side because you keep recreating the past. That’s the mind that does that.

So this work is beyond the mind. For those of you who know the model, it’s like this is the work beyond the model, this is the work beyond the mind, this is the work of the unconscious. It is different than just thought work. It’s different than just changing how you think about things. It’s actually changing the emotional patterning or the emotional scarring, and I’ll call the emotional signature.

It’s so familiar to us, we don’t even know it’s there, and that’s really why it takes the coaching and the processing in order to go into it and integrate it and resolve it so that you can come out on the other side. So this is the growing now, it’s this start believing as the future self right now. Now grows the new. Now grows the more.

And so it’s like if you can believe in the future self right now, the jar, you’re already that person even though you don’t see the proof. It’s like believing in god, believing in heaven, believing in healing. You can’t see it, you can’t touch it, you have no proof of it. You just have to have faith in it. That’s the process for this all.

So remember how we do anything is how we do everything, so the same way we try to earn our graces to go to heaven is the same way that we try to earn our graces for joy here on earth. So waiting for the results to prove in order to have the faith is what most people do. What I want to teach you is to do the opposite and understand that your belief is what creates the result.

Your faith is what creates the result, and that is because you’re already in the feeling sensation, so you’re already in the thoughts, you’re already in the belief, so it’s when you’re taking those steps across the bridge going forward. So it’s like you keep walking, like you’re walking across the – imagine the pencil is in the left hand, the jar is in my right hand, and then I just let the pencil fall as the bridge going into the jar.

So you’re taking the steps across the bridge, and then you have doubt, the bridge lifts and you fall back down and you become further away from your future self. So what we’re doing is connecting the dots. I’m teaching you the how. How to stay in belief, how to manifest, how to do the law of attraction in action is actually what this is.

So you know, there’s all this talk about the secret and the law of attraction and positive affirmations and I’m in a coaching community that’s freaking rocking it, they’re fabulous, and it’s all about belief work and thought work, and it’s like, okay, I get it and I see it and I’m trying to do it, but I don’t understand. I can’t visualize, I can’t get there, I don’t know what they’re talking about. Like, I can’t experience it.

I’m like, no, that’s because – this is what happens. We go to the mind and ask it to take us to the future, and the mind, the brain can’t take us anywhere where it hasn’t been. Duh. That’s why More Than Mindset, I take them into the unconscious and visualize it.

Now, I’ve seen one other thing that works and that is to have a mentor, leader, coach, teacher, someone who believes in you so much so, holds your hand, teaches you the steps, really keeps you accountable until you get the result. And then you can actually feel the sensation because you’ve gotten the results, and then you can grow from that experience. So that is the other way.

But not all of us are blessed with a mentor, coach, teacher who’s like, taking us by the hand and telling us all of the steps and holding us accountable. So I thought well, that’s something I can offer. I love doing that. I can hold that space for other people and I can hold the belief for them until they do, and so I just found myself a place in the world, in the coaching world of something that wasn’t being tapped on.

And I was like, I can totally do that and I can hold the space in a room for everyone to feel that future self sensation. I can bring the portal of possibility and potentiality down into the presence, down into the material world, down into the tangibility of it because I have been there and I know how to tap in and I know how to draw it down because I live most of my life there.

I didn’t recognize and know this whenever I was a kid, whenever I was a teenager, whenever I was trying to survive, but I had spent my whole entire life trying to figure out how to freaking live. I didn’t understand how people just wanted to live. I was so miserable. I would wake up in the morning and be like, oh my god, not again. Another day? It’ll never end. That’s how I was living my life.

And so I had to do a lot of work to get to the understanding of this, and now that I have, I was like, if ever I figure this out, like I read back in my journals and I was like, I was so desperate and I couldn’t find the person to walk me through it. I couldn’t. I would get little glimpses of it and then they were like yeah, well I already told you so you just need to do it. You’re just not doing it.

I’m like, oh my god, I wanted this so desperately, so badly. I remember specifically the day when it changed. It felt like I walked across a stream, put my foot on the other side, the sun came out, I looked over my shoulder, looked back, and I was like, I will never go back. I will never go back into the despairs of hell that I was living in.

I just knew it. I had lifted. It had left. Now granted, maybe it was all of the medication that I was on for so many years, and when it finally left my system, I was able to reconnect with my emotions. That is a possibility because I was taking a lot of – I would say psych meds, but Xanax for anxiety, I was taking Clozapine, I couldn’t sleep. I had insomnia.

And I was so stressed out all of the time, I was always spinning in my head. I was taking Adderall because I couldn’t function. I had ADD. I couldn’t keep my shit together. And so it was like, I had something putting my down, getting me to sleep, then I had something picking me up and taking me – I was literally being controlled be medication. I was on seven medications for over 20 years and I was totally disconnected from my emotions.

And now I was 20 years old so I didn’t know what I know now in order to know exactly what was happening. I was going through, recovering from a lot of childhood trauma. And so because that was all that I understood, that was all that I knew, that’s what I kept recreating. And so what I know now is we can create on purpose, because what I was doing was recreating unconsciously. Not on purpose.

I didn’t want what was I getting, but I kept doing it and I kept creating it because it’s all I knew. It’s all my brain could pull from. There was no other library. The encyclopedia and the experiences had all been despair. It had all been hopeless. It had all been negativity. There was no hope in there to show me anything else. Does that make sense?

So what I want to show you guys is how to create on purpose. And I know a lot of you, because the clients that I work with specifically, we are doing a lot of this emotional rewriting. We’re just processing emotion that wasn’t processed, and it doesn’t mean that you had some kind of terrible trauma. Trauma could be a three-year-old getting a sucker knocked out of their hand and being so sad because they waited all day for their sucker.

It’s like, what broke your heart and showed you that you couldn’t trust life. That is trauma. It could be a divorce, it could be being left at a babysitter and you really wanted to be with your mom. When we do this work and I go into the regression, I go into the soul retrieval stuff, we find students still sitting in their desk in the second grade who are totally humiliated by their teacher, by another student.

And this stuff is scarred in your body. There’s an energetic scarring. There’s an emotional signature, a pattern. And so when something happens in the world today, it triggers that trauma. Your body goes into fight, flight, freeze, can’t do anything, can’t figure it out, and then you go into spin and loop. And then it’s basically having your frontal cortex stuck in the freezer and your arms are flapping and all you have to do is put your feet down on the floor and stand up straight. That’s the navigating part.

You have to recognize it, you have to ask the questions, and then you’re like, wow, actually, that’s not me. Actually, I am safe and I can create whatever I want on purpose. And so that’s the part about you have to really let your belief create the result because you’re looking for the proof in the result and your brain can’t go there, and so you can’t experience.

So what I offer my clients is to take them into the tangibility, into the actuality of experiencing the feeling sensation by taking them through the actual process. I take them into the emotion, we go beyond the mind, and we go into the unconscious. We touch on it, we release it, and then we rewrite the story from there, and then we do the mindset work and the growing the belief consciously, unconsciously, we bring all of this together, mind-body consciousness. And we do it from the future space.

And then from that moment on, you continue walking across the bridge one step at a time until you become. It’s beautiful. Amazing process. So creating on purpose, I want to leave you with something this week and that is just the awareness and recognizing when you go into doubt that you are disconnecting. I want you to recognize that. I want you to start to notice where you’re doing it in your business, in your relationships, and in your health.

And so for a lot of you, my health and wellness practitioners who come to me are already highly functioning and they are dealing with physical manifestations. So for some of us we deal with the money manifestations, for some of us it’s in relationships, and for some of us it’s in their health. I experienced all of the above. It’s like, that’s just my journey. I’m fine with it. I am happy today because I feel so empowered by everything I’ve learned and what I know and I know I can help anyone because I’ve been through it on all levels.

I want you to notice for the physical manifestations, if it’s sciatica or if it’s foot pain or neck and shoulder or back, those are the typical – maybe it’s chronic sinusitis or skin conditions, rash, I’ve had all of those, by the way. When you notice the pain sneak in, when you notice the headache starting or right then and there, just know that there is some repressed emotion.

Something has happened in your environment that’s bringing this up. It’s been triggered and because you habitually repress it, you’re unconsciously doing it so you don’t know. Guys, this is the hard part. This is why I think the coaching is so relevant, and the processing work.

So what’s happening is that is coming up for resolution, and because you’re so used to keeping it repressed, you don’t even know it’s there. But even if you have an indication of it coming up, you’re so good at suppressing, that you will smash it back down not to feel it anyway. And so what’s happening is the brain is creating this distraction in your physical body, and that is what you’re fighting up against.

And so recognize when you start to get sick, when you have pain in your body, when you have the physical manifestations, that that is the doubt. Beautiful, right? So it’s not always doubt in your thought like, oh my god, this marriage will never work, or I’ll never figure this out, or I’ll never get clients, or I’ll never make money and I can’t make it consistently every single month. That’s how it comes up in the mind. But the way it comes up and shows up in the body is through physical sensations, or even illness and disease.

So it’s all connected. That’s the beauty about once you understand mind-body, and it’s also integrating this in a way that it’s showing up in your business. And so I want to help bridge the gap between these business owners because what’s happening is they’re out there trying to help the world from the mind-body disconnect, and their doubt and disbelief is creating the gap in the business, which is stopping them from helping all of the people that they want to help and creating impact.

So you can see that it’s like, when that bridge comes up and you disconnect from your audience. So you no longer have that steady flow of inquiries coming in, it’s like your copy doesn’t work anymore, there’s just disconnect that has happened and for some of you, it’s not necessarily that it’s the copy that stopped working or the people that stopped coming in. It’s that your body has shut down.

So just recognize. You can send me an email at [email protected]. The Integrative Life is a Facebook group. It’s free. It’s for the followers of the podcast and for my clients, or for anyone who wants help in these modalities. I have changed the name, so when you click in The Integrative Life, you’re going to see More Than Mindset, so just click on there and come into the group.

And I would love to have some feedback from you. Tell me if this makes sense, if you’re utilizing this work in your life, and how’s it going for you? If you’re interested in doing this work with me, I do take – I only take four one-on-one clients a year and the other thing is I have a mastermind for healers coming up. That’s going to start in February.

I do this two times a year. I run it for a small group. You get one-on-one coaching as well as group. And you have a support community and we do a live in-person that’s all included in that. So you can reach out to me. I will start putting it out there so you can find it on social media. You can go to the website. It’ll be on the website.

I have not opened, like publicly opened registration for it yet. So I want to offer it to my followers and existing clients first. So you can reach out to me and enquire about that. It is actually the personal and professional work with you. So it’s not just helping you grow your business but it’s helping you as a person to completely heal and release some of these stories so that you can navigate and grow what you really want into actuality, and do this from a very conscious perspective and do it from the future space.

So I want to help you hold that belief, I want you to learn it because this is something that once you learn, you can achieve anything you want. You’re totally empowered to create and control the outcome of whatever it is you want to bring into your life. Alright, I love you guys and I hope to chat with you soon.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset. If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to health, wealth and relationships head over to www.portal.kimgillory.com to learn more about the portal. It’s a membership community where we take this work deeper, apply the concepts and coach around the tough stuff.