Ep #156: Deeper Trust

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello and welcome back to the show. It is me and only me this week. I hope you enjoyed the last few episodes where I had guests presenting their specialty to the world. I really enjoy doing those interviews and I hope you enjoy hearing them and meeting other change workers in the world who are really doing the deeper work. Guys, this is not for everyone, right? There was some pretty intense shares happening.

So what I want to talk about this week is basically my, I guess you could say my goal, my word, my intention for the year. Which is all about attaining a deeper trust. A deeper trust in Source and a deeper trust in self. And what a trip it has been. We’re just one month into the new year and it feels like it was a very long month. There were a lot of days in there.

It was very interesting from my perspective, my point of view and the experiences that I had focused on this. I feel like the intention brought me into like probably five or six layers deeper than I imagined. I assumed it would be pretty intense, but I maintained this mantra or this belief that I kept repeating to myself, which is wanting to experience something that the mind has yet to imagine.

And so I craved this deeper sense of calming trust, maybe is the word that I’m looking for. Where it’s not just faith. You know? It’s not like I trust today is going to be great and I’m not going to get hit by a truck when I’m checking the mail. Not that kind of trust. This is a trust in stillness. A trust in waiting.

So for those who have been listening to the show, I subscribe to Human Design. I really enjoy knowing more about myself and the better I can understand and relate to myself, the better I can relate and understand mankind in general, other people. Because that’s really what it is about.

We speak about wanting to change the world, but the way we change the world is by changing us. Because when we get to know ourselves better and when we change the people pleasing, the being nice so people like me, all of the things, the games that we play in order to belong or to get picked, right? Like the popularity contest, it’s like we’re still playing seventh grade.

All of those things, we want to attain through the games can actually be attained through a calm waiting and then being who you truly are and trusting. Trusting Source, trusting self. And that requires trusting in divine timing, that the wait is not going to be wasted. And that is not an easy task for our mind.

Our mind is crazy, it wants to be in control, it wants to know, it wants to manipulate. It’s always gathering evidence pieces. It’s like a puzzle, right? So the mind is looking around at everyone and everything and it’s trying to gather this story that aligns with what we believe, our agenda. And it’s really tricky because it’s such a habit that we can’t even see it.

So this intention that I set was about being able to not get stuck in the weeds of all of the details, and all of the needing to knows, and wanting to be certain about stuff. Instead it’s about waking up, taking care of my personal responsibilities. It feels like a radical return to wholeness, wholeness of the self.

And some may interpret this as selfish. And maybe it is. And I’m okay with that because this deeper trust that I crave, this calm trust that I crave is coming from the waiting. And it is an art, guys. I mean it’s seriously a practice and a skill set that you have to acquire. Waiting does not come easy.

We are very impatient and we want to control things, we want to control people, circumstances. We want to control how others are going to respond to what we ask for or what we do. We want to control how we’re going to feel, that’s been a lesson within itself. I have no idea how I’m going to feel from one hour to the next. And truly trusting even that, trusting the emotional wave.

Trusting that the low is pulling me in to pull me closer. I didn’t always believe that way. I was very afraid to be pulled down. I was very afraid of the lows. I was very afraid of being taken in or even having a sense of darkness because all of the fear of depression, or not being able to come out of it, or what if this is the time where I can’t get my head above water? Those are the questions that the mind would present.

And it would scare me and so then this is when we want to take energy drinks and go and do something that’s willpowered or forced or trying to get the energy up in our body so that we don’t have to experience that. But think about this, if you truly trusted, would you be running from the low?

Because that’s been one of the greatest gifts for me, is the ability to be in the low and then come out of it with some newfound wisdom, some newfound understanding about myself and about how to better relate and how to trust better. And on the flip side of the coin, being on top of the world.

I told my, I think it was the Self-Healing Masters group, I was like, “Listen, you cannot hold me accountable for anything I offer today because I am on high. I’m having fun, I’m feeling very generous. Can’t hold me accountable for what I might offer you.” Because I tend to be overgenerous and give a lot of things away and then when it’s time to come back around I’m like, “Oh my God, why did I promise all of that?”

So that’s the story of the emotional wave. We make decisions when we’re really high. And then we try to make decisions when we’re really low. So it’s like I’ve got to get out of this, I’ve got to get up there. I’ve got to get high, I’ve got to pull some energy in, right? Instead of truly riding the wave. Just ride it, just allow it to come and go. Go down into the abyss and rise up onto the mountain tops.

People might call you bipolar or a little crazy, that could be another word they can use, a little unstable. But what if it’s not? What if you truly trusted all that life was presenting to you in the high, in the low? What if you truly trusted that if you waited to respond, that there would be a perfect opportunity to respond to?

So one of my clients asked me today, she said, “So I have a lot of thoughts about these ideas that I can do to promote my business.” And my question was, where did the ideas come from? Are you responding to someone? Or are you responding to ideas maybe that the mind has seen online, maybe that you’ve seen someone else doing?

Is it responding to the question, what can I put out there? Is it coming from an urgency or from a pressure? Or is someone asking you to create something and you are responding to that? So these are questions that you might want to ask yourself when the mind gets overly busy and it wants to start applying this pressure as if you have to do something.

Now this is the stuff that we work on in E-school. It’s about creating a sustainable business and life. Sustainable meaning something that you have the energy for, for a very long time. Where you will maintain your health. Maintain feeling vibrant, and alive, and energetic, and being able to serve for years to come because you have created a sustainable business model, a sustainable relationship, a sustainable lifestyle.

So think about the trust that’s going to be required to do all of that. Because this means not over giving, not over committing. It really threatens the people pleasing, the codependency, the playing nice, being kind, not wanting to disappoint anyone. It really messes with all that because it requires honesty, vulnerability, transparency.

You have to truly be honest with yourself first so that you can be honest with others. And being in that integrity, and in that honesty, and in that transparency is actually where a deeper trust is attained.

Because think about this, if you are going to be honest with someone and your mind is telling you, you can’t say that, they’ll be mad at you, they won’t be your friend anymore, or they’re not going to hire you again. Think about what’s required in order for you to be honest, in order for you to follow through with the transparency. It’s trust.

You have to truly trust yourself and Source. You have to trust life itself that if you’re going to stand in integrity, and there is a risk that someone is going to be mad at you, someone is going to cancel you out, someone is going to excommunicate you, if someone is going to like cut you off out of their life, your brain is going to go into defense. You’re going to go into resistance and you’re going to want to protect yourself.

So think about the trust. Truly, truly trusting yourself on a deeper level. Source, you can call it God, Universe, Holy Spirit, Jesus, whatever you use, whoever you pray to. What would life look like if you trusted on that deeper level. And you allowed the right people to come into your life, the right people to step out of your life.

Just imagine if you trusted it so much so that you might not speak to someone for two or three years. And then you might talk to them every single day. And then because you decided that you were truly going to embody and embrace who you are, that new people were going to be attracted to you. New people that were going to be carrying the match to what you want to create. Are you willing to risk even that?

So that’s what I’ve been sitting on. And what I wanted to share with you this week is the art of waiting, or we can say the skill or the practice of waiting, and how that is leading me to a deeper trust. Which is my intention for the year.

I decided that I was going to be a non-negotiating ninja. In other words, I am not going to negotiate anything. I am not going to negotiate my integrity, my honesty, my truth, my vulnerability. So even if it’s uncomfortable, I am not negotiating.

And I am trusting Source, the whole entire way I’m trusting. I’m willing to be surprised what my mind has yet to imagine, how life can look if I do this. It did require some really deep conversations that were scary. Talking to many of you who are probably listening.

Every contact or contract that I had in my life, I visited and we got really truthful and really honest. And I didn’t want to be in contract with any relationships, business or friendships. Even romantic relationships, even with my husband. I did not want to be in any committed contracts that were made under the energy of the essence that I was not.

In other words, when I was coming from my conditioned self, and when I was playing the games of the people pleasing, or the codependency, or the control and manipulation, you know, all the human games. I did not want to carry those contracts with me. I wanted to make a clean break and it to be real, and deep, and meaningful, moving forward.

I wanted it to be honest and open. And I wanted us, whoever was involved, to grow together. To evolve and to really recognize do we even want to be together? Do we want to continue doing business together? Do we want to continue doing things together this way? Is it time to do it differently? And that requires a lot of trust. A lot of trust.

And I don’t know which one’s worse, which one’s scarier for me when I say non-negotiations or deeper trust. Because I know both are going to require new experiences that I haven’t had before. And that scared me, my mind was freaking out a lot.

But here we are, a whole month into this new experience of trust. I haven’t died, I’m still trucking, and I feel way calmer. Things feel easier. I feel clearer in my containers. I feel like I’m being more honest. And I’m willing to look at some truths that I wasn’t willing to face before.

And that looks like holding on to things that aren’t working because I’m so committed because I said I was going to do it. And it doesn’t matter if anyone else follows through with the commitment, I am not going to be the one who quits, right? That was my willpowering it.

And I gave myself permission, if something is not working, or if it looks like you could do better if we change it. I’m willing to do that. And I recognize that some people are not going to like it. And that’s okay. That’s okay. We can continue to throw ourselves under the bus, or we can step into this deeper trust with Source, with life, with ourselves, and with humankind.

We can trust that sometimes the relationships are not meant to be the way that they were. Sometimes we can transform them, or maybe just have a different type of relationship. All right, that’s it. That’s what I got for you this week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.