Ep #115: Emotional Processing

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey y’all, welcome to the show. I’m going to do this really quick session this week because I want it to be something that you can come back to at any time. So I’m just going to talk really quick at the beginning, and then I’m going to take you through the process. And then we’re going to end it there. So let’s get started.

This week I am talking about emotional processing. We’re going to discuss triggers, unresolved issues and trauma, integrative healing, and samskaras. This is something that I have gotten so many requests on over the years, but especially the past I would say six months. I’m hearing more and more about emotional processing, about feeling my feelings to heal physical conditions in my body and help mend relationships. That’s probably the number two things but I’m going to also mention something else.

So because I get so many requests on it, I wanted to have an episode that you could just come to and replay at any time and it would be just this on it. So let’s talk about how emotional wellness affects our relationships, our health, our personal growth, and it even shows up in our bank account.

Guys, this is serious stuff. Whenever we have samskaras, which are just like energetic scars on the cellular system of the body. So imagine experiences that have happened that are like lodged in the body. You know how they say feelings buried alive never die. It’s that kind of thing.

So if I were to, let me just read it to you. Samskaras are the subtle mental impressions left by all thoughts, intentions, and actions that an individual has ever experienced. Often likened to grooves in the mind, they can be considered as psychological or emotional imprints that contribute to the formation of behavioral patterns. Samskaras are below the level of normal consciousness and are said to be the root of all impulses, character traits, and innate dispositions.

I learned about samskaras in yoga, so when I was doing my yoga teacher training, and I became fascinated with it. And, you know, emotional healing and emotional wellness is my jam, so this fit right in. And it made so much sense. Whenever we have these samskaras in the body and then an incident happens, a circumstance or someone says something and we feel this like huge impulse in our body.

Like imagine when somebody says something to you and you get so enraged and you don’t understand why you’re so mad. And you’re like, “She’s my friend. I know she didn’t mean to say it, but I don’t know why I’m so pissed.” It’s that kind of thing.

It doesn’t make sense to the rational mind, what you are feeling in the body. And so then the mind goes to look for who did that, who can I blame? How can I understand this? How can I control or make this go away? And so then the mind goes searching for who could be creating this. And so there’s this mind body disconnect, right?

So once we have the awareness, and we understand that all experiences are in the body, even though they haven’t been processed, they are repressed, suppressed, and we’re often living in oppressed situations. And that is directly correlated with our relationships, with our health, and even with our business and our finance.

So that’s why I wanted to talk about it, to really take you through the process. And I also want to invite you to Self Healing Masters because this is an experiential process. I’m going to tell you what to do, but it’s really hard to work with the unconscious and not have somebody else there with you.

Because when these things are running like subconsciously we don’t see it, we believe it’s just truth. It’s just the way things are. We don’t recognize when we’re in it because we don’t even have access to the frontal cortex. We can’t even make rational decisions because we have all of this chemical surging through our body.

And believe it or not, we’re addicted to that. It’s crazy, right? Like we’re addicted to that. But we really are because we’re so used to it. And we’re also really used to struggle and solving problems. And whenever this stuff comes up, we immediately want to go and solve for it. But we don’t have the awareness of the root of where it’s coming from. So that’s what I want to talk about today.

All right, so emotional wellness is the ability to successfully handle life’s stresses and adapt to change and difficult times. It’s the ability to stabilize how you feel and respond, rather than doing and saying things you may regret. So you can see how it’s so important.

The emotional trigger is anything including memories, experiences, and events that spark an intense emotional reaction regardless of your current mood. So what does that mean? No matter what mood you’re in, say you’re just having an amazing day, everything is great. And then you see something and it triggers this response from the body.

So that’s what we’re talking about. It like doesn’t make sense to the rational mind, like you can’t make sense of it, because it doesn’t connect. And that’s what I mean by the mind body disconnection because it doesn’t have, like if we had the awareness and the understanding and the stability, then we would just be able to look out and go in at the same time. So we would look out with the physical eye. And then whatever would be going on out there, we would still be grounded and stable inside of the body. Got it?

All right, so let’s talk about how to process an emotion, like what to do when we feel a trigger. So first, I want you to notice the sensation in the body. So just bring up something that gave you an emotional reaction recently lately, maybe even today, right?

Something that you can feel it in the body, you’re very aware of it. It may be rage, it may be like the heart beating, it may be pressure, it may be nervousness or anxiety. Just find one thing, I’ll give you a moment. Anger is probably the most prominent one, so if you can find something like that.

And this is what you’ll do, you’ll feel it come up in the body. And you’ll notice how you’re looking to make sense of it. So you feel the sensation in the body, you’re looking out and you’re trying to connect the dots. You’re trying to understand why you feel this way, or what can you control to make it go away. So just notice that. I noticed that I’m looking for the reason why. And I’m looking for the reason outside of myself.

Now turn the eyes inward and look down into the body. And this is what I mean by it’s an experiential process. So just notice if you can look inside of the body and find where you are feeling this sensation. And if you can’t do this right now, then just come back to it whenever you are triggered.

So just see if you can find it in the body, identify where it is. You can just silently say it to yourself. I feel a pounding in my throat or I feel a pressure on my chest. And then describe it. What color is it? If he had a color it would be… And then on a scale of 1 to 10, how strong is it? And is it just in this one area or does it radiate out? Is it around? Is it behind? Is it in front?

Just really want to describe what you’re feeling. Looking for the color, the shape, the thickness. And all I’m doing right now is occupying your mind so that you can stay present with the sensation, with the feeling, with the emotion. Because I’m talking and I’m guiding you, and I’m telling you what to look for. And I’m asking you the question, how intense is it? Is it in front? Is it behind? What color is it? If it had a shape what would the shape be? Can you get a little closer?

What is the substance made of? Is it rubbery? Does it feel like a brick? The sensation that I feel in my body… Then you just describe it. And we just need to stay here for 90 seconds. And now notice, what is the intensity now? Now that you’ve brought your focus and attention to it. And what else do you notice? Bring the breath to that area of your body.

Inhale, bring the breath in. Imagine you’re rinsing potatoes. I don’t know if you’ve heard me talk about this. But imagine you’re rinsing potatoes under the water, so the breath comes in. And then exhale, you pull the drain and you let the water release. So inhale, the water comes in as if you were rinsing potatoes. Exhale, pull the drain, allow it to release. Do this a few times. Two more times.

What else do you notice in your body? Maybe check in with your shoulders and your jaw, your head and neck. Take a deep breath, exhale, sigh away. It is safe to be in my body. Just telling yourself that it is safe to be in my body. It is safe to experience these feelings. I understand that the sensations in my body are not going to hurt me. I give myself permission to experience this, the worst thing that can happen is I will feel a feeling.

Stay with it, take another breath. It is safe to be in my body. It is safe to feel these feelings. And then, again, taking note on a level of 1 to 10 how intense. Is it reducing? Are you able to stay present? Because notice when you’re beginning to do this, when you’re new, the mind wants to be occupied. This is boring, this is too much, this is crazy. I don’t understand this. Like you almost want to jump out of your skin.

So just come back and listen to it again and do it a few times. Come to the More Than Mindset group, raise your hand, put a post, ask questions. And let’s discuss this.

If you want to begin healing your life, your physical conditions, because this shows up as disease in the body, it shows up as illness, it shows up as chronic pain, fatigue, low energy. It shows up in your relationships because you’re a reactive and then you’re regretting what you’re saying and doing because you’re reacting to the sensations rather than responding in conversation or communication.

Notice where it’s showing up in your personal growth, this fear or this shame or whatever is coming up for you when you want to put yourself out there. When you want to make an offer. When you want to charge for your service. When you’re afraid of what people will think about you. Notice how it shows up in your health, in your wealth, and in your relationships.

The worst thing that can happen is you will feel a feeling, that’s it. But it takes the inner work to really start training your brain to do things differently and to stay present and to not eject, because that’s what we’re so used to doing.

This is the work that we do in Self Healing Masters. It’s all about growing the individual so they can grow their life. They can grow their purpose. They can grow their business, their relationships, become healthier, happier, experience more joy. Because your emotional wellness affects all of that.

So that’s all I have for you this week. I wanted to keep it short and sweet so you can come back and listen to it again. So I’m just going to repeat the steps. When you feel a trigger, when you feel this ravishing sensation inside of you that may be anger, it may be shame, it may feel like heat. You may be pissed; it might feel like almost an anxiety. Like when you feel that in your body just stop and breathe.

Notice the resistance, notice where your brain does not want to do that. Just notice it. And then tell yourself it is safe to experience this. It is safe to be in my body. I notice this feeling in my chest or in my throat or wherever it is. Just notice it until you’re saying to yourself, I notice and it is safe to feel it. And then describe it, a color, a size a number.

And then begin breathing, rinsing the potatoes. Inhale, exhale, sigh away. Stay for several breaths. Continue repeating it is safe to stay in my body. It is safe to experience this. And watch it reduce. Notice how it begins to evaporate or at least lighten. Just pause for a little bit. Begin to move the body, whether that’s moving the head side to side, shrugging the shoulders, maybe lifting your arms overhead or out at your sides. That’s it. Just keep repeating. And it gets easier, I promise you it gets easier with time as you experience it more and more.

And I’ll just give you an idea of what emotional wellness looks like. You know how to treat yourself well. Like you’re not beating up on yourself. You’re not putting yourself down. You view other people with compassion and treat them with kindness. Because that’s an indication of how you treat yourself and your own wellbeing.

You like who you are. You’re flexible. And you move with the circumstances, you move with life, you trust life. You have gratitude and appreciation. You have meaning in your life and you value experiences. You appreciate other people. You feel calm. Things feel easier. And you feel free, liberated because you have emotional stability. You’ve learned how to regulate, you’ve learned how to experience. You just get better at experiencing the discomfort through the practice.

All right my friends, that’s what I have for you this week. Let me know how it goes. If you want to come and do this work and begin healing your life, I will see you in Self Healing Masters. I hope this helped. And you have a lovely week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.