Ep #28: Emotional Signatures

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Hey there. How’s it going? Welcome to a new week. Alright guys, we’re going to talk about something a little different today. It’s actually more about my jam. So I love mindset, so I want to say that. I believe there’s a huge part for it in the coaching industry. It’s been a game-changer in my own life, but what I want to talk about today is beyond mindset.

And so it’s like this – maybe I should call this more than mindset. It’s going to another level, going a little deeper, and maybe even being a little more transformative because we’re willing to dive in and dig up some roots. Pull the plug. Dismantle old beliefs. Unveil old stories, then plant the new ones.

So it’s this little piece that I feel is missing, which is the whole backbone to the Integrative Life, the whole reason that I started coaching and training health and wellness leaders. Because as a health coach myself, I remember I was trying to heal and fix myself. I couldn’t find the help, I didn’t have the resources, I knew something wasn’t right. I was doing all of the things and I still wasn’t getting the relief. I wasn’t getting the help that I needed.

And so I signed up for my health coach training and I learned all things health related. The diet, the supplements, the lifestyle, all of the things that we were taught in the whole certification. I brought it into my practice. I was already in health and wellness and teaching yoga and meditation. I had a program called Clean Fit, which was all about cleaning up your life on all levels, but especially your food and you know, what you put into your body is so important.

And I also was concentrating on what they put into their mind. So thought work is a huge part of my business, but this is what I came to recognize for myself and for my clients. And you know, I’m not going to say this is for everyone, but I feel it’s for a huge part of humanity. Matter of fact, if you’re a human and you have a brain, you have thoughts that are not serving you.

And even further than that, you have emotions that are not serving you. This patterning, I know you’ve heard me talk about samskara, which is this emotional scarring on the energetic and cellular system of the body. Like, deep within, like a cut. Something that’s left scarring or patterning that is different than what you’ve been naturally created to.

We were all born in these amazing little bodies and wouldn’t have fear and doubt as an infant coming into the world. This was something that was created in the environment. We were in our understanding, in our perception was we grew up and saw different things and experiences that were brought into our life that created these ways of thinking.

What we weren’t taught is how to feel, and that feeling was a natural part of the process. That humans should feel. It’s a huge part of us. It’s actually the language of the body. In other words, if you walk around and just try to change the mindset and you’re not willing to feel the feelings that are behind it and rewrite that patterning, then it’s just going to come back when it’s triggered again.

Matter of fact, I have a whole trigger training technique that we do because these things, they’re scarred and patterned within the body, so that emotional signature continues to come back up and this is why I feel there are so many health and wellness leaders who are stuck in their business and stuck in fear and doubt.

And it’s so hard to be courageous, step up, be bold, take the next step. Even though your mind is telling you to do it, you’ve convinced yourself that your thoughts are the problem and you create new thoughts, and then you still can’t do it. It’s because of the fight or flight. It’s the way the body shuts down under the stress.

When there’s tension and anxiety and the system brings up these old traumas, these old stories, things that have happened. And it’s so habitual. There’s behavior, yes, so there’s things that – there’s learned behavior. But your body also has this learned behavior, this signature that it knows to go to when it feels a certain way.

So yes, your thought creates your feelings, your feelings propel your actions, your actions lead to your results. So for sure, 100%. But let’s talk about the emotional signaturing that is even so deep, so habitually patterned and understood by your system that it needs to be dismantled.

We need to go beyond the mind. That’s where the work is. It’s beyond the mind. So mindset is not enough. To get this up, dismantled, uprooted, unveiled, revealed even, this is actually the deconditioning process and that is what the Integrative Life is all about. It’s changing from the state of habit, of conditioning, I would say we’ve even been hypnotized into the patterns because it came on so early, especially for those who have had trauma.

And I don’t mean this by – it doesn’t have to be this big, huge, traumatic event. Trauma is to the perception of the person that received it. It’s not like it has to be a big event as much as it’s how the person understood it and what emotions were created from it. And this is locked in the system and this is why there’s chronic pain and fatigue and scarcity and fear and doubt and unworthiness, all these limiting beliefs come from the emotional signature.

So this is for all individuals, but because I speak to health and wellness leaders in particular, what I see is they’re not achieving the success that they want, they’re not helping the clients that they want, they’re even having trouble helping themselves. So I for one, this is my own story, I just kept going from one certification to the other, to the other because I was bound and determined to figure it out.

So after becoming a health coach and a massage therapist, a life coach, hypnotherapist, yoga and meditation, I did transcendental meditation training, I did tapping, so that’s EFT, all these processes and these modalities to help me get beyond these feelings, these sensations that were in my body that were shutting me down.

And so mindset-wise, yeah, I was getting great coaching and I was actually even in coaching my clients, I was being a great coach. And I was helping them to see what their thoughts were creating, but it wasn’t stopping this fight or flight, this paralysis, what was stopping them from getting to the next level.

And so what it is is a wall. So you imagine the brain wants to protect us. It doesn’t want us to ever feel that way again. That was scary that I did not feel safe, I didn’t know what to do, whatever the story is. So it built up this wall to protect you from ever feeling that way again because the brain’s job is to keep you safe. It’s to solve problems and to keep you safe. Its job is to keep you alive.

Let’s take a little story though like putting yourself out there, let’s say on social media or running an ad, or just telling people I’m a life coach or a health coach or massage therapy, I can help you with that pain or with your business, or with your relationships. Even just saying that sometimes brings up so much doubt and fear that it creates this sensation in the body.

That sensation is not because you’re going to do something new. The sensation is brought up by the thing you’ve done in the past that’s telling you the story of how it believes it’s going to result in. In other words, what if you fell? What if they don’t receive your message? What if they don’t accept you? What if they think you’re crazy? What if it’s your – people who know you and they have other thoughts about you, which is just a thought, but the brain thinks that’s death. How dare someone think negative of me or not agree with me or create anything that makes me feel unsafe in my own environment.

And so it shuts us down to keep us safe. Anyway, this affects your own personal health, your wealth, and it also affects your relationships. Your relationships with your partner, your children, your clients, yourself, your business. Did you even know like, we have a relationships with our business, with our money, with our physical health?

We create that relationship by our conditioning, by our patterning, our emotional signature, that samskara and scarring that is in our system. That relationship was created through those past events and it’s locked in on an unconscious level. And what I help my clients do is get beyond the mind, beyond the thought, and get into the emotional signature, that emotional patterning so that we can identify, unveil, reveal it, discover it, uncover it, whatever it is that you have to first see what it is. We have to come to awareness.

And then you have to integrate it so that we can bring back those fragmented pieces and parts. We’ve basically checked out. So there’s this part of us that didn’t want to be there because it was uncomfortable, didn’t know what to do, we were too young to understand, we didn’t have the tools, we didn’t have the coping tools, we didn’t have the understanding, and we didn’t know what to do with this fear, doubt, discomfort, dread, or maybe it was some sort of grief.

Not being able to kind of articulate what was happening in a way that your mind could understand it and you could bring yourself to safety. Instead, we were told to turn it off, to don’t feel that way, don’t think that way. I mean, my god, we were even told like, when to eat, when to go to the bathroom, where to go to church, how to think, what they wanted to call us, and we had to like to our name and we had to like our neighbor and we had to do things when everyone else told us to do it.

And so there is beauty in that. Sure, we need structure and foundation, but what’s happened is we are now adults. So just like we needed training when we were children, we need training when we are adults and it’s different from being a toddler or being a teenager, and it’s like society has missed this.

You go into grade school, to high school, and then bye, gone, you just get out into the world, figure it out. Where’s the training? Where’s the training for adulthood? Where’s the training for not just growing our minds but our emotional intelligence and then integrating that all together so that we can have healthier, wealthier, happier relationships and with our self, with our partners, with our money, our physical body?

There is a language of the body and it is feelings, emotions, sensations. That is how our body speaks to us. So we need to turn it back on. It should have never been turned off to start off with, but even our parents didn’t know what to do with it, didn’t know what to do about it. They were so busy teaching us how society wanted us to be, how the environment wanted to be, how our family was supposed to run, how we were supposed to act.

And it’s like, if you are one of three or one of five, do you really think we were all supposed to act exactly the same? And we’re even doing this in our business today. Someone becomes a coach and they go to the same person to help all of them become this particular kind of coach or to do this system a certain way or to make money this certain way.

What’s not happening in our system is no one is teaching us how to integrate these scars, these patterns, these fragmented pieces of our self back in unity, in wholeness with our self so that we can tap into our authentic self. In our expert authority positioning.

Trust our self and what we know and what we’ve been given by god, by ourselves, by our own experiences, what we have figured out. Our wisdom and knowledge, and how we want to share how we overcame and how we learned with other people, and maybe society doesn’t know better about what you need to be within yourself. Who you are, who you were created to be, what is it that you want to share in your unique way.

Not the way the rest of the world shares it. Not by taking on someone else’s positive affirmation, but by truly being willing to decondition all of the systems that have been planted in your root system, that you grew up in, that you were trained in that has not worked for you. So maybe some of it has.

The first step is identifying what are the results you have in your life right now. How is your health? How is your wealth? How are your relationships? How do you show up in the world? Are you satisfied? Fulfilled? Happy? Content? Prosperous? How do you feel about the results that you are creating right now? Just think about that for a moment.

And if there’s a part of you that wants more, that wants to do more, that wants to help with it, that wants to create an impact, through your originality, that’s going to take some deconditioning because the world is filled with copycats. It’s filled with – we don’t need 10 to 10,000 people doing the same exact thing the same exact way. We need you being the original, doing it your way.

What are the gifts that you have to share? What are the skills that you have learned? Your experience. What has life taught you? What do you know that maybe someone else doesn’t know? That you have a different way to share it, to express it. Your own original authority, expert experience. Who you are in the world, how can you show up as her or him to do your work?

So let’s just sit with that for a moment. Think about all of the levels that it affects you. Your mindset has everything to do with it because you create stories according to how you feel, the same way that you create feelings according to your stories. It’s kind of like the chicken and the egg story.

And then physically, think about your physical health. Guys, how you show up every day, how your body functions, think about it. What you think and how you feel is reflected on the exterior part of your life. Anxiety, stress, tension, not eating properly, not getting enough rest, that affects your work. It affects who you are as a person. Your expression of being that person.

And then spiritually, do you feel that you’re all that you were created to be? Do you feel like maybe our souls have a different expression? A unique expression to share with the world? Like, we got this bodysuit on but inside, there’s a part of you that we’re waiting for to show up in its originality.

And then financially, recognizing that the physical manifestation of your mental and emotional self affects your finances. That’s your ability to earn money, to be responsible, to care for yourself, and even to know how to balance your money and your fundings.

Occupationally, how do you show in the world in service? And it doesn’t matter if it’s in service to make money or just to serve. Maybe it’s being a mother, maybe it’s being a coach or a leader, a teacher. What’s the calling that you have in service? We all have something to serve as or to serve in, and intellectually, do you continue to grow and evolve?

Because as a human species, we are meant to evolve. We are meant to grow. Freedom of expression. We are here to grow the heck up and it doesn’t stop in kindergarten, in elementary, or in the 12th grade. We continue to grow. And then your environment, and that’s like, just socially and in your relationships like, how do you show up?

All of that stuff has to do with deconditioning, unveiling, revealing so that you can recreate the newer version because you can’t take the old story and create new results, which you’re going to do because you’re going to keep recreating the same old results. Does that make sense?

If you get present and you recognize like oh, this is not working for me, I’m not getting the results that I want, I want to make more money than this, I want my relationships to be cleaned up, and I need to lose 30 pounds and move my body and eat better. So if you recognize there’s some things in your results that are not working for you and you start unveiling the story, asking the questions, how did I get here, what were the thoughts, what were the beliefs what were the feelings and sensations that were driving the actions, that is the emotional signature.

What are the feelings and sensations that are driving the actions? So yes, ultimately, your thoughts do lead to your emotions but are we spending enough time processing those emotions and integrating them? Because ultimately, they are the reason behind the action. And so is the action fight or flight? Is it freeze? Is it push forward? Is it white-knuckle? What are the actions?

Because ultimately, that’s what’s creating those results. The ones that you’re talking about right now. Obviously, if you’re not the weight you want to be, if you don’t have the finances you want and your relationships are a mess, obviously you’re not taking the proper actions and you have to come to the feelings and sensation in order to take those actions. Is it always going to feel good? No, but we have to learn to turn this back on so that we can create the new results that we want.

If you come into this and say I want to create this newer version of myself and you take that same emotional signature, that patterning, that scarring, if you take it forward, you’re going to keep getting triggered and you’re going to keep recreating the same results. I see this over and over with my life coaches as well as health coaches. I’ve been in all of these certifications. I understand how it works and the hypnotherapy training and regression training has really showed me so much more.

Like emotional freedom technique, getting beyond that scar, that pattern, that habit that’s stuck in your system. And for some people it’s easy for them just to change the thought, change the thought, change the thought, but for other people who’ve had these traumatic events that they don’t even know are there because they’re locked away in their psyche, not so easy, guys. I was there. I remember.

I remember the day I stopped my bike on the side of the road, I was listening to Louise Hay and she was speaking about positive affirmations and change your story and change your story and change your story, and I stopped on the side of the road and I was like, you know what Louise, it’s more than that. I couldn’t just change the stinking story. The story was locked in my system. It was locked in my body.

There was no way for me to get beyond the default, and that’s what I kept creating is this default destination. I kept getting the same results. It’s hardwired in the body and it creates a disconnection. And you’re trying to change the thought but you’re disconnected from the emotion so then you can’t drive a different action because you’re in the fight or flight or freeze from that other scarring.

Anyway, I’m going to keep talking on this. If you want to just come and get a taste of it, I invite you into the Integrative Life membership. It’s called Integration Live and what we’re doing is taking this work, practical work. We do calls together, you get coaching, and it’s a way that you can actually get individual help applying these concepts and also learn other coaching tools that are not mentioned here on the podcast with the support of actually integrating and creating the new results on all levels.

I invite you to come and join in with us. We’re having a great time. This month we’re working on rewriting the beliefs, so of course we have to unveil, reveal, discover. We’ve got to uncover them first though because we discover what it is that we want.

So we’re doing the belief boot camp first. It’s six weeks and then we’re going to move into feeling feelings. So if you are not familiar with an emotional signature or emotional scarring yet, this next boot camp is going to be the one for you. All the videos are there and recorded so you can always go back and watch anything that’s happened before you come in, but there’s nothing quite as impactful as doing the actual work in real time.

And that’s exactly why I opened up this membership. It was to be able to help this entire community. So what we’ve done is we’ve created this container for the work that’s super supportive. It’s a conscious environment where we are just awakening to the understanding of what needs to be dismantled, rewritten, unraveled is basically what’s happening when you start this transformation work or personal growth and self-improvement.

You kind of get unraveled and it’s like – that deconditioning process is pretty painful. There’s a lot of grieving going on. You’re no longer the person that you thought you were. Your environment doesn’t even recognize you anymore. It feels like you’re standing on the outside looking through the mirror like what the heck is happening in my life? I don’t even know what’s going on now.

It’s this falling apart phase. It’s like walking into your home and when you open the door the furniture’s all been rearranged and the cabinets are not there anymore, and it’s like, not even your house. What’s happening? Just know it’s kind of normal. It’s just a process. It’s like your brain’s trying to figure out exactly what’s happening but your soul, your inner self knows exactly that this is what you’ve asked for.

When we ask for more, things start shifting and changing. We feel it on all levels. Physically, financial, occupationally, and this is actually the thing that you want to happen as you expand and evolve your business. Because just like you have to evolve personally, your business, your relationships, your physical health, all of it, your spirituality, it all evolves. It all changes.

How we do anything is how we do everything, and so you can see it represented on the inside as well as the outside. Alright, that’s all I got for you this week. Just think about this. More than mindset. And what is emotional signature? What is your emotional signature? Where does your body physically, where do the sensations, where does it take you into? Is it fear, doubt, scarcity, settling, stifledness? Like not being able to voice your opinions, not being able to grow into the person you want to be?

What’s happening in your environment that it feels like it’s stopping you from growing? Because I guarantee you, that’s part of the reason behind you failing to launch, and I mean that by failing to launch into bolder, bigger, evolving, whatever it is that you want to create.

If you’re not getting it off the ground and you’ve been a coach for however many years and you keep trying to get that breakthrough or get discovered or get the word out there and you think it’s the website or you think it’s the business cards or the email or whatever it is that you think it is, just know there’s more going on on the inside that’s actually preventing this from happening. Alright, until next week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today.