Ep #72: Emotional Triggers

Welcome to More than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion, to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hi friends, welcome back. I always get the giggles when I start this thing off because I think it’s so fun. I can’t believe I get to do this. I get to just sit here and let all of this stuff come through and just pass it through the microphone and have someone produce it. And listen to it the next week or a few weeks later, like what was that, what was happening? I’m not even sure sometimes what comes out.

Anyway let’s see. What’s happening in my world? I’m going to try to articulate this in a way that makes sense. So I put out a want ad for new friends, and friends with commonality in the spiritual world. I want to connect with more people and have deep meaningful conversations. Yeah, I did that, put it on Facebook. Put it on Instagram. I was like, “Hey, guys, do you like to travel, and go to live events and talk about all the woo stuff? And like do you dig emotions and healing, and spirituality and all of the deep dark stuff that others don’t want to talk about?”

I want to talk more about that, bring me some friends, universe, I just put it out there. Seriously, I did that this week, how shameful. I was like I feel like a second grader or a fourth grader, like, hey, do you want to play with me? And it felt just as risky; I think it might have been easier in the second grade before you really knew what rejection was all about. It was a little humbling.

But I just love people, I love connecting, I love having conversations. I like taking notes on each other’s, like, “Hey, how was this for you?” And just have other people who are going through these deep meaningful experiences. And to be able to share it in an understandably way, where it’s like just accepted, you know what’s weird, people, is it’s just okay to be.

This is hilarious but I was talking to a new client today and she was saying how I kind of talk a different language. And that has been a conversation in my Mastermind is I was told, it is for sure a fact that I talk a different language. And I’m like, “I don’t think so, I’m pretty sure that’s a thought.” And she’s like, “No, it’s for sure a fact.” And I’m like, “It’s not amongst the people who understand me and where I’m coming from.”

And so as I was talking to my client, we were just kind of talking back and forth and she’s been with me and other experiences in Mastermind and stuff. And she was like, “No, I wanted to know what you were saying, but I really didn’t.” And so now that I’ve had an experience she was like, “I get everything you’re saying.”

So it is something about going beyond the vow, it’s about putting on these new lenses. Once you change your perception and you tap into that spiritual soul essence of who you are, that soul being, that deeper, like that beyond the surface, beyond the exterior of the physical body. When you tap into that knowing it’s like the language does change, because it takes certain words to be able to express, explain, articulate. Just the words, just simple words just don’t do justice. And there’s like a unique way to describe it, and I think that’s what happened.

So now that it’s been a few years and I’ve had a several clients tell me this, “I have no idea what you said until the fourth session. I just loved your energy. I liked the way I felt when I was around you. And you just seemed like you knew what you were talking about. And I knew I’d eventually get there.” So maybe I’ll just claim that and say, hey, people who talk this other language, why don’t you hook up with me? Come over to the More Than Mindset group and come and talk to my tribe, our people.

Anyway, alright, let’s get moving. Today we’re talking about emotional triggers. What is an emotional trigger? What are emotions? Why do we have to have them? What do we do about these things that are causing, creating vibration in our body that have control of us? What do we do about this very strong feeling that comes up inside of me and takes over my mind? That’s what the conversation is about.

I’m going to talk about what creates this and what does it cause? So let me just start the topic off with understanding. So we have thoughts that produce emotions.

So you think a thought, and especially if you believe the thought, because we have thoughts all day long, they just kind of pass by and they come and go. But then sometimes we grab them and we investigate them, and we think they’re real. And we latch onto it and then we have this feeling in our body, this sensation. And then from this sensation we tell more story, we add more thoughts, so that’s like this loop, this emotional loop.

Well, the thought that triggers the emotion that you got attached to, instead of just letting the thought carry on, is what this trigger is. So the thought led to a chemical release in the body that creates a sensation, a feeling in the body. And when we attach to it and make meaning of it, make story of it, there’s this hook and loop. And so it’s an emotional, say a samskara, which is like a scarring on the body, in the body, in the cells and the tissue of the physical body, imagine it like a puff cloud. And so it is a memory of feeling a certain way.

And then you have a thought and that feeling comes up and then you make out a story about it being now, and that is very often not the case. So what happens is we have experiences early on in our life that create these feelings. We don’t know how to process, we don’t know how to integrate, and so we just kind of leave them hanging there, or we eject the experience altogether. By eject the experience altogether, I mean we leave our bodies, because we don’t know what to do with these emotions.

Now, we don’t know we’re doing this; this is all like the subconscious. We’re too young to understand what to do, we don’t have any guidance, we don’t have any tools. No one told us how to handle it. So they lay dormant in the body and then something happens and then oomph, it’s like it wakes up. And then we have a thought that’s like, I’m feeling this way so it must be true. That’s where we get in trouble, guys.

We latch onto that and we think we have to do something about it, so we become reactive. So we start like picketing and yelling and getting mad, throwing things, I can prove it’s true because I can feel it. My feelings don’t lie to me. I know what I’m feeling. But they do lie to us, they lie dormant in our body and then they awaken later. And that is the lie, that is the illusion, that is the deception is we are led by these triggers and we give them way more attention and authority than they deserve.

So I’m sure you’re thinking, well, what do we do about it, I’m going to get to that. So first I want to give you enough examples so you know what I’m talking about. So an emotional trigger is when an incident happens that you have a thought about, that creates this feeling sensation in your body to reawaken. And then your memory, like when we’re talking like psychosomatics and following the path of when have you felt this before. That’s basically the story that’s being triggered.

But you see it as the person or the circumstance that’s happening right in front of you and the mind is confused. And it’s like of course, I’m looking straight at them and they are annoying me, so it is them. But that’s very often not the case.

So that’s why it’s so important to understand the way emotions work, because they are often leading your life and kind of destroying some of the relationships that you really love, and want more intimacy in. And you’re like, I don’t understand why this keeps happening, but this is why, it’s because it’s unconscious, we don’t recognize it, we don’t know what to do with it and we don’t really have proper training on it.

So when we leave these emotions repressed in our body and say they don’t get activated, they don’t get triggered, or they do and we ignore them or we choose not to experience them, okay. So, say it’s there lying underneath the layer really, really deep, you don’t even know it’s there, you completely ignore it. But it will create physical pain in your body, that is the cause and reason for chronic pain.

I’m not talking acute pain where you stub a toe, hit your head, bang up your shoulder and it hurts for a few weeks, not talking about that. I am talking about the incidents that happened 16 years ago that you are still claiming is causing your backache today. Or the thing that happened six years ago and you are claiming that that is the reason why your shoulder hurts, or your knee hurts, or that comes up. That is chronic pain, when it goes on, and on, and on for years, beyond the body’s typical timeframe to heal itself.

So what happens is the brain creates this distraction of physical pain. And the reason for it is so that you don’t experience the repressed emotion, because you told, you, this is your story, your brain, you tell yourself it wasn’t safe to feel this feeling. Now, it is very often anger, rage that is hidden beneath the surface.

And so it’s like as little kids, we want to yell and scream and have a fit and we’re told not to, that is so inappropriate. And so we were taught very early on that we should not get angry, that it is not kind, that it’s wrong, maybe even sinful, whatever it is that you were told as a child. But we for sure was told that it was inappropriate to express anger.

And so you can imagine how many of us are hiding this rage, this anger, because we believe it is bad for us. We believe that we may hurt someone, that we may get in trouble, that, you know, whatever the story is, that we came up with, we’d have to really do the emotional processing in order to get to the root of the story.

And I’m actually considering doing that, bringing on some guest where we do the work so you can get the experience of what I’m talking about. But for now I’m going to just explain how it happens in a couple of different ways so that you can articulate it in a way that you can understand the experience.

And so what happens with the repressed emotion is as it starts to come up, so say something happens and you are scared, you’re afraid, you’re disappointed and this starts coming up. Then the brain goes and creates what I’m going to call like a chew toy, a distraction. So for sure pain is a distraction because when you’re in pain you can think of nothing else but the pain.

Now, let’s look at – I’m going to just kind of go down a list and you can kind of just pick out which one relates to you. Herniated disc, slipped disc, spinal stenosis, scoliosis, torn rotator cuff, fibromyalgia, plantar fasciitis, IBS, seasonal allergies, food intolerance, chronic fatigue syndrome, adrenal fatigue, migraines, anxiety, depression. Like very, very common things.

I was diagnosed with all of those, by the way, plus some. No idea, I just kept going from doctor to doctor and the pain kept moving from body part to body part. So it went from my upper body to my lower body and I mean that’s why I’ve had so many surgeries and so many fixes. And I had a brace for every part of my body and all of this stuff.

But just kind of think about that, this stems from Dr. Saunders work. And so what he described as TMS, which is tension myositis syndrome, or tension myoneural syndrome, which you can also call the mind body syndrome. That to me is much easier, it makes much more sense. It’s just easier to remember, TMS, the mind body syndrome, or MBS, which is mind body syndrome.

So this is kind of all the same thing, it just means there’s a disconnection between the mind and body, emotions, spirit, soul, all of this stuff is disconnected. And, guys, this is how we were like basically trained to be. So you look at a pie, you cut it in four different pieces, cut it in quarters and you think about the physical body was given to the medical system. And then the mental, the mind was given to psychiatry, and the soul essence of us, the spirituality was given to religion. So it’s all split, there are like three different totally stories.

And then there is another quarter of the pie and that would be your emotions, no one helped us with that. I feel like that’s my calling, that’s here, here, I’m here, I’m here, let’s do it, let’s get it, let’s talk about that.

I feel like I am the expert in feeling this stuff, if you looked at my human design, that is completely filled in. I really do claim the position for emotional healing because I understand it so well. Not only did I experience it myself, but I found myself doing this work many years ago, and it’s just kind of progressed into, like I see it everywhere now. And I believe it is what is the root cause of most illness and disease in the body and that lack of ease, the disease, is what the brain creates so that we can keep this repressed.

It’s insane, you would think, okay, am I really doing this to myself? But the answer is yes, I swear by it, I made up these scripts that I would talk to myself, I would yell if I needed to. And I just kept going on about my daily activity and I was like, no, you’re just coming with me, we’re just going to go, we got this. I am safe, I do not need to be afraid of how I feel. I do not need to be afraid of anything being triggered in my body, I am healthy, I am safe. I am healthy, I am safe. I just kept repeating that to myself.

And I just kept doing the things because I knew I was okay and I knew that my brain was creating this inside of my body. And it’s because I ran so many tests, I saw so many doctors, I had so many surgeries. And I was just finally at the point where I was sick and tired of it. And I found out about Louise Hay’s work back in, I would say it’s probably 20 years ago. And I lined up all of the stuff, all of the things, the ailments that I had, compared to what she was saying it connected to, that made total sense.

But the real game changer was a few years ago, I was doing AromaTouch training, and I needed my arms to do it because I modeled what I was doing, and I couldn’t reach my arm across. And what was happening is there was some really big stuff in my life happening. I was ranking really high with doTERRA and I was starting to travel more, I was really nervous about that. And my husband wasn’t too pleased with it. And just all kinds of stuff going on, which was creating a lot of fear and anxiety in my body.

And so out of nowhere, I get this torn labrum in my left shoulder, I couldn’t move my arm. And I mean seriously, I did nothing to create it. So I went, I had an MRI done, they noticed that it was – told me all of the things and how surgery could have fixed it and all this stuff. And I ended up doing – I think I did an injection maybe, or something. And I got some release and then I started doing this work and just kind of started talking to my body. And explaining to myself that I was safe and I was healthy, and that I can heal.

And my body had the ability to heal itself and I just went to work, I protected, I built the muscles around it and I was just really cautious of my thinking more than anything else, completely went away. I was like, “What?” I’m telling you, for months I couldn’t lift my arm over my head. And understand, I’m a yoga teacher, I am doing AromaTouch training, I’m a massage therapist, it was not easy not being able to use my arm, use my shoulder.

So after that it was a very severe bout with sciatica, which I had never ever had, I’ve had lots of clients who had it, and I had a lot of experience with it, I knew a lot of people. But it was something that I had not ever even remotely close to experiencing. But let me tell you, it had me down for a very long time. I had 16 weeks I could not sit. I laid down in the back seat of my car to go buy a new car, I didn’t even drive it. My husband had to drive it. It was insane how much pain I was in.

And I stayed on my belly, I worked, thank God; I was working online at this time. And I worked with the computer in front of me and I cried a lot. I just kept saying, “There’s no way this is normal, because people would be dead.” I mean there’s just no way, I have never experienced anything so intense in my entire life, of not even remote to.

And I’ve had a torn Achilles, that’s really a big deal. When my Achilles tendon ruptured, the vision in my head was someone had struck me from behind, like right above my ankle from behind with like a hammer or something like. I was walking in the room and it just stopped and my body just shook. I couldn’t even let out a scream because I was in such intense pain. And this bout with sciatica was worse than that, it lasted way longer. And I was more limited.

Anyway, so I started really having to dive into this work even deeper and getting stronger with my message and my belief. And again, had the MRI, was talking surgery and I was like, “No, this is do or die, either this is real or it is not.” And if what I am teaching, and what I am sharing with others and what I have overcome so far is true, then this is absolutely true also. And it did, it’s completely gone, guys.

This is like, if I wouldn’t have had so many witnesses, I think I would need to explain it a little bit more. But I had a lot of witnesses, this went on for six months and all of my clients saw it, my entire family. I mean I couldn’t go anywhere. There was days I just wouldn’t eat because it was too much trouble to go to the bathroom. I was really in a very terrible position. And I think that I needed that to really solidify my stance in what I’m teaching, what I’m talking about. My experience was pushed to the capacity.

And there were moments where I honestly, I just didn’t know how I was going to continue to tolerate. There was no way that this was normal. I know people don’t live, like there was just – I just couldn’t comprehend it. I’m not a teddy baby, I have been through a lot of stuff, but this was intense.

Anyway, so that kind of sealed the deal for me. So after that I really got into this emotional healing and understanding the triggers. And what we were hiding and the power of that hidden force, I have seen – I’m 25 years in business, in the mind body business stuff.

And I have seen so many women start exercising and end up with plantar fasciitis almost immediately, knee pain, hip, shoulder. “I can’t come, I can’t do it. I’m going to the doctor. They put me on steroids. My physical therapist told me not to do anything at all until this has gone.” And this was over, and over, and over, which is what got me involved in the work, because I saw it so often. I just knew there had to be another way.

And it took me into the path of understanding the way the physical body responds to our mental and emotional states, it’s so intense. And because you can’t see it, I get why so many people resist it. But if you are listening and you are in chronic pain, you have sensations going off in your body like fireworks, moving from one place to the other.

You have triggers when someone says or does something, you have uncontrollable triggers that make you say things and do things that you regret, that separate you from the relationships that you really want to have more intimacy with. If you are reacting, drinking, eating because you can’t handle the intensity of the sensations that you are feeling in your body, guys, this is the work for you. It is about first being aware that you are safe, and that this is the way the mind and body work.

The reason that it continues to happen is because you are not aware of it, maybe you resist it. Maybe you’ve never heard this before. Maybe someone told you it was a crock a bull, which very likely, we get a lot of resistance on this stuff. And yet I’m just going to keep talking about it, I’m going to keep sharing and I’m going to keep helping people heal their bodies.

Some will just not want to receive the information, some cannot. Some people will just never be able to trust. And some people will never be able to change their beliefs, and I’m okay with that. I have finally come to reason and acceptance that I will not be able to help everyone, some people are not interested. Some people just can’t see beyond the not being able to see it, and I love you. And it’s perfectly fine that we all have the experience that we have.

But what I won’t do is stop talking about it for those who do want the help, who don’t understand, but are willing to learn. They’re willing to consider the possibility that it could be available for them to heal their bodies. It could be available for them to believe. It could be an opportunity for them to rewrite the story, the way that they have understood and seen things to be, could be changed. And I’m going to keep holding this space for those who don’t want to be stuck on the floor and not being able to sit, in chronic pain for years, and not having the quality of life that they really want.

I’m going to keep standing up for you; I’m going to keep having this conversation. And I’m going to keep teaching, and I’m going to keep making myself available in the group and coaching, and training more mind body coaches to help more people to gain more impact, visibility. I’m going to keep the shows going. I am going to keep producing this.

I’m just going to keep saying it until times catch up, because I know for a fact that this is truth. That this is real, that this is something that is not able to be seen by some people. And it may take years for the linear times to catch up with what has been happening in the soul world, in the quantum field. And just the work beyond what the eye can envision here, this stuff is real, it’s like I see it on a regular basis.

We used to do massages with our hands in the physical world on the massage table. And we are now doing this work virtually and our clients are getting amazing results. And they are being relieved of chronic pain, like it’s gone for good, because they now understand the root cause, where it came from, what was creating it. And as soon as they have that awareness it is game over. Game over.

And so I’m going to keep training massage therapists, I’m going to keep training health coaches, and life coaches, and yoga teachers. And health and wellness practitioners who want to help their clients go beyond the mind and heal their life, their relationships, their money stories, their physical body stories.

We are meant to thrive, to have joy, to experience happiness. Guys, it’s not supposed to be this hard, we were conditioned to believe we should all be hanging from a cross. We should all be giving up our lives. We should all be suffering, we should all be martyrs, or saints. That’s all hogwash. I’m calling it out right now, it’s hogwash. That is not the story, that is done, that is over.

Christ taught us how to be better humans, how to have a better human experience. The price is paid. We have to tap into the joy but first we have to recognize that we have been conditioned. We’ve been conditioned to give our lives up, that the more we suffer the better Christians we are. No, no.

I hope that just understanding that some of your suffering is caused by these triggers. I hope you get some kind of understanding and release just from that. But if you want to take it even further, keep listening, because I asked my group what they wanted to hear more about, and emotional healing was the hot topic. So I’m going to keep talking on this.

So here’s what I have to tell you, I want to leave you with this, if you have sensations in your body that feel like this train wreck coming through, like all the way down your spine, like there’s this shaking in the center of your being. And it is trigger that’s coming from story. So by story, I mean something that you see, something that you know, something that you think about, creates this sensation to move through your body. And then it gets stuck and locked there.

And a case of this would be like an anxiety attack, a panic attack, it’s completely out of control. We’re driving the car, you have no idea where it’s going to take you, it’s just overwhelming, it takes over, it’s kind of like grief, it just hops in and just has its way. And if that is happening to you and you want to be able to control it, to regulate it. So we call this emotional regulation, first just notice that I have a thought that created the sensation. That’s seriously what I’m going to leave you with.

When you feel something happen in your body, I want you to say to yourself, “I just had a thought that created this sensation.” Interesting. Okay, I’m willing to consider that. That’s where you start. And then it happens again and then you say it again. And then it happens again and you say it again.

And then once you are starting to believe, this is a sensation in my body that came from a thought. Oh, interesting. Now that you’re out of resistance and you’re in awareness, now get curious. Wonder, ask questions. What was it that I thought?

Take out a paper and a pen and start writing. And let me tell you, you might write some bad stuff. If you could read some of my journals, I mean I just pour it out, just dump everything that comes from your thought through the pencil on the paper, let it roll. Don’t stop writing; just let it go, write for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, maybe an hour, just write. You never have to read it, you can completely throw it away, burn it, hide it, doesn’t matter, but the important thing is that you get in touch with it and you allow it to move through you.

So first thing, you feel anxiety, you feel panic, you feel pain, first thing you do is like, oh, I’m having a thought that’s creating that. Okay. If you have to say that a 100 times, say it a 100 times, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are in the practice of the transformation. So don’t just take the information in, you have to truly use it. You have to implement it. You have to do the exercise.

Once you are in awareness and you are curious and then you start writing about it, you start journaling about it, this is the unveiling process. Then keep that going until it leaves your body. So what will happen, as soon as you put your focus and attention on the sensation and you allow it to be, it’s almost as if you’re like, oh, tell me what you need to tell me, what is this that you’ve come to visit for? You’re like sitting with it. As soon as you pay attention to it and allow it to be and you don’t resist it, boof, it will vanish. And what happens after that, the chronic pain will vanish.

Now, I’m going to tell you a little secret, I know it sounds easy. But you may not have access to it. And so if that’s the case, we have practitioners who can help you walk through this, who can provide sessions and coaching for you to help you to see it. Because what happens is the brain builds a defense and so we can’t always see it. We’re not allowed to see it because we’ve literally blocked ourselves from it, because we believed at the time that it was dangerous, so we cut ourself off from having access to it.

Alright, we’re already 30 minutes in, so I don’t want to go any longer on this, but I will continue it next week, if that helps. So that’s what I have for you this week. Go out, feel some feelings, investigate some emotions, get curious about these sensations in your body and start unraveling so that you can find, detect or release the root cause.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More than Mindset.