For many of us in the health and wellness industry, our work can be emotionally draining and unsustainable because we are constantly taking on the weight of other people’s problems. While this service to others is extremely valuable, it takes a massive toll on our own ability to care for ourselves and care for our clients.
On today’s episode, I’m talking about how we can embrace the empathy within us and let our feelings guide us in our practice without weighing us down and deflating us. When we empower ourselves through this feeling, we can stop spinning and start on the road to success in business and personal growth. By understanding what feelings are actually ours (not other people’s), we can start to unveil the things we can change for greater success.
Join me as we learn how to harness our empathic abilities without bringing ourselves down so we can share our incredible gifts with the world.
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- How to tell if you are an empath and what that means in your life.
- What being a ‘wounded healer’ is and the impact it has on your wellness work.
- The importance of identifying your empathic tendencies and learning how to utilize them.
- Strategies for freeing yourself from the emotions of others and empowering yourself in .your abilities.
- How to ‘believe in the disbelief’ so you can understand the soul essence of what you are feeling.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners, the only podcast that can help YOU help more people, create a greater impact, and make more money in the health and wellness industry. Join Master Clarity and Confidence Coach, Kim Guillory, as she teaches you how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started…
Hello my friends. Let me double check this and make sure that my voice is actually coming on. So this is take two because take one was done with the microphone off. How do you like that?
Yes, I make mistakes every day. I fail, I fall, I make a butt out of myself. I do a lot of things that don’t necessarily work. Can you believe that? Over and over and over. And it’s no big deal because really, the only way it’s a big deal is if you think it is and I don’t really think it is.
I think life is just an experience. What about you? What do you think about life? Are you super serious and you have something to achieve and accomplish and like, you take home this heavy burden every single night of exactly how your day was supposed to look and did it add up and are you just easing and flowing your way through life? Tell me. I would love to hear back from you.
Alright, today we are going to talk about empowering the empath. What? Yeah, I’m going there. Get ready. I don’t know if you guys know this, if I’ve said this before, but I despise labels. What a way to get started, right? Codependency, empaths, people-pleasers, whatever it is.
This is one of the things that really bothers me about religion and anybody. Anybody who takes a system and says it’s the one and only way and everyone should fit in there. That is ridiculous, and it’s actually what causes so much suffering because if you know me, you know how I feel about suffering. There’s only two reasons that you do it and that’s because of judgment and comparison.
And if you come up with anything else, let me know. But I have been around the globe on this one and I keep coming back to the same thing. Anyway, that’s my little take on labels and on why we suffer as human beings, why it’s so hard.
So let’s talk about the empath. I am actually going to read this because I don’t want it to be necessarily my words, but I got this online. It says, are you empathetic? Like, are you an empath? And if you answer more than five, then yes, you are. Or perhaps maybe you’re even psychic.
So it says, does your mood change according to who you’re with? Do you find large groups of people overwhelming? Do you feel drained after being around people? Do you have a tendency to take on problems and worries of others? Do you have a hard time telling how you truly feel at times? Do children and animals respond warmly to you? Are you a touchy-feely kind of person? Can you sometimes sense when someone is sad even if they are smiling?
Empath is when we feel others, both their joy and pain, and if we’re strongly empathetic, someone else’s feelings can register so strongly on us that we assume it’s our feelings. And this can be a very confusing experience unless you realize what’s going on. And there’s a few more. You’re hypersensitive to noise, sad movies are overwhelming, you can sense when someone is lying or you’re hypersensitive to noise.
You get strong first impressions of people that end up being spot on, according to you of course. You can’t watch the news. You’re hypersensitive to bright lights. You feel physically sick at violence of any kind. You help so much you’re exhausted, but you can’t stop helping. You feel sick and shaky around certain people. You are more aware of suffering in the world than others are. And you have a deep need to make the world a better place.
So sometimes, it’s hard for non-empaths to see and understand this, and sometimes empaths are judged or misunderstood by people. And so sometimes they don’t say anything at all so that they can fit in. So I’m going to leave that there and just let you kind of ponder on that for a minute and tell me if you identify yourself as an empath. You can actually send an email to email@example.com. I would love to hear from you. Or you can just post it in the reviews and let me know what your takeaways are and what your thoughts are.
And so I’m all about empowering, no matter what label you identify yourself as, and yes, you identify yourself as. It’s not necessarily the world that identifies you as that because I’ve been identified – I could have possibly been considered a witch or a new ager or like, one of these yogi people or whatever my community decides or people decide to put a label on me. It’s totally fine.
Because it’s all about their fears. It’s their thoughts. It’s what’s coming up for them and it’s the part of them that they’re afraid of, or they’re either identifying with or not identifying with. But it comes from them. From their judgment, from their judgment and comparison actually.
It’s like, who do they want us to be? How do they want to envision a safe world according to how people are? That’s the whole thing about like, CNN and the president and the news and the shooters or whatever the thing is, abortion, suicide. It’s everyone says the thing that creates safety in themselves.
So they feel that things should be a certain way in order for their world to be a safe place for them to live in. So that’s where this judgment and comparisons and labels and all of these things come from. The shoulds – they should do this, they shouldn’t do this, and it’s really what they’re saying is they should do that so that I can feel this, they shouldn’t do that so that I can feel this.
Everything is super selfish and the sooner we realize that, the more we can go on with our life. Alright, let’s talk about how do you determine what you are and how do you identify if you’re an empath or not. And next week, I’m going to go on and we’ll take this down into like, codependency and stuff.
But this week, I just want to talk about the empath because I train health and wellness professionals, and basically, I help the healer heal so that they can create the business to get their work out into the world without killing themselves. So there’s a lot of this wounded healer mentality and what I mean by that is the actual empath or codependent or like, the person who is the healer is actually trying to heal their own pain.
And they see it in the world and then they feel the pain in their body, and then they try to fix it in the other person when it’s actually their work to go in and heal themselves, to bring themselves back to connection, back to unity, back to wholeness, back to health. Whatever it is that is separating them, they’re seeing in the world and then they’re trying to change it in the world. They’re trying to change it outside of themselves.
So you can use this as an example. Whenever your mind is super cluttered, your body, your life, you’ve got internally – like you’ve just got a whole lot of stuff. Then you may look on the outside and see clutter and be bothered by clutter in the environment and think that you feel the way you feel because of that exterior clutter when it’s actually the interior clutter.
The clutter is just showing you the clutter. I hope that makes sense. That person is triggering you, is pissing you off, is making you sad because you have that within yourself. They’re just being a mirror for you. One of the things that we could instead of judging and labeling ourselves and identifying ourselves as such, we could just identify like, are we maybe just feelers and someone else may be a thinker?
Someone else may be what I call an A-liner, which is they’re always on the action line. They’re like, there’s a problem, this is what I need to do. I am like, just tell me the thing, tell me how to do it, I’m going to do it. They don’t think, they don’t feel, they just do, and they are action-oriented where they are result driven.
I want to do this thing, I’m going to hire you to teach me how to do it, tell me exactly what to do, A through F, one through 10, and I’m going to do that. And they just get to work and dial in. Well, here’s the beauty. If they believe that that’s what gives them the results, then they will get the results on that belief. What? So powerful. You’re going to love this one.
So that’s the A-liner. They’re the person who lives by actions and they’re driven by results. And because they believe actions create results, it works for them. Now, you have the person who’s the thinker. They believe that everything is about mindset, everything is about thoughts. And if I change my thoughts, I can change the way I feel, therefore I can take this action and I can get this result.
And do or die, that’s exactly what they believe, that’s what they do, and guess what? Because they believe it, they get the results. Magic. Alright, now you have the feeler. So they think a thought, they feel a thing. Okay, so we’re going to take this back to the empath.
If the empath feels everything, feels everyone, feels the whole entire environment, it’s feeling everyone in the room and they are taking the actions according to how they feel, what results are they going to get? I see this all the time with healers, with empaths.
I’m going to go back to the wounded healer because if they were whole, if they do their work and they become their true self and not the not true self, then they will be able to identify when it’s someone else’s feelings and when it’s theirs. Does that make sense?
So I want to use these examples but I want to speak specifically to the feeler today because this is who I’m calling the empath. This is what I’m identifying or labeling as the empath. They are the person whose life is driven, their actions are driven and their results are created from the way they feel.
And so if the empath believes I am at the mercy of the world and the emotions of the room, I have no control of my results, I can’t create the thing I want to create, this is actually the unconscious belief. If you take on the label and you identify with it and you’re saying you’re at the mercy of everyone else’s emotions, then your belief is I can only do that if I feel that and I don’t know what I feel and I don’t know whose it is, and I need to just stay hiding in a room or living in a cave, otherwise I can’t get by in this world.
And that kind of puts you in like, kind of a victim mode, right? It puts you at the mercy of life instead of actually using this information in a way that is empowering. That’s why I want to call this empower the empath. So if you know that this is you and you know you are a feeler, and you know you get these crazy moody experiences that sometimes you’re in the room or you’re in the car and suddenly you’re just like, really sad and nothing’s really taken place, and it’s almost like you’re mind-reading or you’re sucking in the thoughts and emotions of what someone else is experiencing.
And your business, because you’re an entrepreneur, you’re helping other people heal, you’re helping other people live a better life, whatever your specialty is, then it kind of stunts your growth in your business. So that becomes one of the reasons for the failure to launch.
It’s like well, I can’t overcome the way I feel so I can’t take the action because I have this sad feeling, I’ve got this confused feeling like I’m spinning in the mix of these emotions and I just don’t know what to do, I’m so confused, and I don’t know what action to take, and then you just stay.
These people spin in this for years, sometimes for a lifetime. It’s why I truly want this to speak to those people and let them know that they can be empowered, even if you identify yourself as an empath, and I’m even going to say even more so.
So if the feeler does the deconditioning, the unveiling, they do the work to get rid of all of the predispositioning of all of the things that you’ve taken in from childhood, even from infantry, all the way in, and through your life, the experiences that you’ve gathered from your relationships, from your monetary level. What you believe about money, what you’ve taken on from your parents, from your neighbors, and really got super clear, so you did this personal discovery and you became empowered with your actual beliefs, who you are as a soul.
So empaths pretty much identify themselves as healers and they know they have this unique gift to heal the world in some way or to help certain people see certain things, the space that we hold. We hear, we see, we sense, we know things, we can move energy. We can help them clear past lives or past experiences.
And you can take that however you choose to take that. I will not go into a political or a religious debate. I am open to saying I have seen a whole lot of stuff that I didn’t know was possible and my mind has been blown so many times that you can’t dissuade me from being open about we have no idea. We are so limited and so conditioned.
The veil is so thick on what society and religion and healthcare, all of the things that we have been told that are actually holding us back and keeping us small and stopping us from experiencing the very thing that we came to earth to experience in this human body.
Some of the work that I do is regression and hypnotherapy and energy work and even body mapping, where we follow the physical symptoms and it takes us to the root cause that created that, so that once it’s identified, once you’re aware of it, and once we pull the root on it, we dismantle that unconscious story.
Because here’s the thing that you need to know more than anything else is the unconscious story is actually what’s in the driver’s seat. So it is the unhealed child or the old trauma that hasn’t even been processed that’s actually in the mind that’s controlling your entire life.
So if you are a healer and you have not taken off in your business, if you have not reached the vision that is in your heart, that is in your soul, you know who you’re here to help, you know what you’re here to do, and you just keep tripping on your own feet and you’re not sure what you’re doing wrong and it shouldn’t be this hard – these are your thoughts – it shouldn’t be this hard, I’ve been struggling forever, I’m so tired of this, I just want to throw in the towel and give up, I’ve tried everything.
And you are like, overwhelmed with all of these emotions, you don’t even know if it’s yours, you don’t know if it’s someone else’s, you don’t know what you believe anymore, you’re just at a loss. The thing that you once knew that you were so sure about is this sense of soul alignment of knowing what your purpose was and you have not received the results of that.
And the actual life that you are living is in torment. Turmoil. And you want to be liberated from this, from the torment, from being stuck, from being stifled and frustrated, and you’re having all of these physical conditions like, show up in your body. You’re having mental blocks, mental paralysis, you can call it either one.
But it’s basically like, your brain goes into freeze mode and your mind goes into spin mode. And the emotions just run rampant through your body, up and down, in and out. And if you want to see your relationships heal, then you want to open the channel, which is going to open up that space for you to receive this flow of abundance, of amazing health, of actual wealth and connection.
The things that you most seek and the things that you want to help society, you want to help other people to receive are the things that you must first start with yourself. And then you become the example of that possibility.
What I’ve been playing in, I’m calling soul play, so it’s like this dancing with the shadows of disbelief. This uncovering and discovering. So it’s like, uncovering what’s not, discovering what is, and then have a little slow dance with it and I work through what I call bleeding the disbelief.
So I stay in it long enough until it’s actually pruned, purged, filtered out, and that the only thing that can stream through after that is the actual belief of soul essence. The thing that I know that I know that I know. This requires a lot of work on an inner level. Not out there.
So don’t look for the system, don’t look for the thing. This is all about this simple five-step process that I talk about over and over and over. And you can plug in any situation when I say health, wealth, and relationships, you can plug anything into this because the first step is presence.
You have to become aware that there’s a problem. You have to become aware that you are stuck, you are spinning, you are stifled, you are frustrated, you are failing to launch, you’re not getting the thing, you’re not getting healthier. You’re actually feeling worse. You’re feeling sicker. You don’t even know what you feel or think anymore because it’s so mixed up with everyone else’s emotions because you’ve taken that on and you weren’t able to identify what was yours and what was theirs.
So you have to do that. That has to be the first step. And then you have to unveil. And in the unveiling process, basically, you’re understanding and that’s what I hope to help you do on this call right now. On this particular episode is help you to understand that you are not a victim, that this is actually a gift for you but you need to uncover what’s in the way in order to tap into the gift, in order to tap into, tune in, plug it, turn it on, turn it up, and get super clear so that the rest of the gifts can actually follow.
And this is all something that’s already within yourself, but the not yourself is so strong and so thick, it’s actually feeding the disbelief. It’s taken the disbelief out for a dance and it’s like, hiding it from you. It’s blocking it and not letting you see the belief, and then you’re locked up in all of these other emotions and feelings because you believe being that empath, identifies with – and these labels is identifying with all of these emotions that it’s all about everyone else’s pain.
And you’ve taken that on as yours and I don’t think that we were called to do this work to be stuck in that hook. Actually, the thing, the stifling, the frustration, the spinning, the stuck, the irritation that you’re feeling watching everybody else do it, all of that envy and jealousy and maybe even hate and rage, that actually is the gift for you to see that you’re out of alignment. For you to see that there’s something trying to come up to clear the way so that you can become the true self, so that you can become the true soul essence that you are.
Let me tell you who I don’t coach. I do not coach the not true self. I don’t coach the ego, I don’t coach the mind, the child that might still have unresolved trauma that’s having the hissy fit. I do not spend my time believing your story.
That story that you tell yourself every day about how you’re at the mercy of all of this and how you can’t do this because you feel this and it’s out of your control and you can’t be around certain people and you need to protect yourself so you got to throw people out of your life and you can’t go here. Like, that right there is not helpful to you.
Seriously, you have a lot of power as being the feeler. I think we have as much or more power than the thinker and the A-liner to be honest with you because once you tap into this part of yourself, guys, golden. You understand? The gifts that come through are golden. The intuition, the understanding, the beyond the mind seeing and feeling and thinking, the things, the downloads that come through, the information, the wisdom, the knowledge to be able to take your work out into the world.
To be able to help other people to be able to hold the space and move the energy and shift the entire dynamics of what they’ve been experiencing and give them the liberation, mind-blowing. Got it? But here’s the thing; you’ve got to step out of believing that being an empath is dispowering. Instead, step into the empowerment of it. Step into those unique gifts.
And so if I were to summarize the program, this actual coaching program that I train healers, health and wellness leaders, or practitioners, to help other people, so what I do is I take the leader, the professional or the practitioner, the healer, and I chisel away at the not true self. And then I help you to identify with the gifts that you truly possess, the true self that you truly are, the soul essence that you’ve come here as.
It’s just a soul essence in a body suit, right? You get to keep the body suit. We’re just going to transform inside of it and put your inner self back together so that it can be expressed on your outer self. So you’ll notice if you’ve been doing this for a long time, your body will start to fall apart because your body is a mirror to your mind.
So whatever you think on the inside, you will be projecting on the outside and it will eventually show up in your life. It’ll show up in your relationships, it will show up in your money story, it will show up in your health. So it’s super important that you are an empath, if you identify yourself as such, that you figure out how to empower yourself as so that you become all that you are, so that you can get out there and do your work.
So what I do is help you strip that away and put on this new suit of belief and I hold the belief with you and for you and then we get you in boot camp and we prepare you for the front line so that we can step into the new us, which is of love and compassion and empathy. Empaths and empathy.
And we teach and show the world that it is time. We’ve already done this whole mental thing, the physical and the mental. We understand that part of life, but what we don’t understand is the emotional health and the spiritual health. And so what we’re doing is we’re at the part where we’re teaching individuals how to mature emotionally.
How to feel their feelings, how to process. And you have the gift to know what they are feeling when they don’t. I’m telling you guys, you’ve got to tap into this. It’s golden. You have the secret gift. You have that unique gift that you can actually feel what they can’t feel so that you can help them. Did you get that?
Seriously, they can’t feel it. They don’t know what to do with it. They don’t know how to help themselves. They only know that they’re stuck and they’re sick, and you have the calling to help them and they have the desire to be helped. The only thing standing in your way is you and your beliefs.
So chisel that away. Step into the power. Get rid of the disbelief. Let the shadows be what they are, which is a beautiful thing, the stuck, spinning, stifle, frustration, envy, jealousy, hate, all that stuff. That’s the shadows. Let them do their work, which is to wake you up. To give you the indication, the feeders, the signs that you’re out of alignment and there’s more. You’re being called to more.
And so thank the shadows. Dance with the shadows. Allow them to be there. Don’t run and hide from them. Don’t push them aside, Don’t shut them down. Actually see them for what they are and allow them to be the teacher for you as you step into this higher version of yourself.
Alright, that’s all I got for today. If you are a health and wellness leader, coach, teacher, hypnotherapist, psychotherapist and you want to learn the process that I teach for yourself and for your clients, then you are welcome to the next coach training that’s starting soon. The sooner you sign up, you start working with me one-on-one until the class actually starts.
So you can start up at any time and however long it is before the start date you get with me personally. Bonus. Undeniably irresistible, right? That’s just the way I do business because I like to get to know everyone before they actually step into the program because this is some deep rooted work.
It is not for everyone and that’s okay because I don’t want to be out of alignment. I know who my people are and you will know too. Alright, if you’re not sure, set up a strategy call with me. Look on my website, kimguillory.com. Go to book now, book, and let’s have a conversation.
If you are an individual and you are like, what about me? I don’t want to be a professional, I’m not an entrepreneur, I just want to help myself heal, I want to get better, then you can sign up for the membership. So again, you can just email me, firstname.lastname@example.org and say I’m interested in your membership, I heard about this in the podcast.
You can also join the Integrative Life Facebook group, which is a place to come and find me. That way you can PM me on Facebook. There’s plenty of ways to reach me. I’m just saying.
And what I need from you is if you are loving this podcast, leave a review. Let me know you’re listening. It inspires me, it encourages me. I like knowing that somebody is making use of this information, that it’s not just me here looking at a microphone, talking into a computer.
Alright, I love you all. Next week we’re going to talk about codependency so make sure and stay tuned.
Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today.
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Kim this podcast is really what I feel myself dealing with in my work and life. I am an RTT therapist and truly want to help my clients through my ability to go deeper into their feelings.
I am an empath and that has certainly stalled me in my life. I am much more aware of my need to pull back from the energies out there from my own personal work.
Interested in learning more. I am on the FB Integrative Life page. My schedule is scattered so maybe I should book a call with you to find out more. Thank you for this information and the work you are doing. Love it.