Ep #178: How to Expand Your Reality

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started. 

Hey there, and welcome back to the show. I am preparing for a trip, just so you know. By the time you get this I will be heading out to Stockholm, Sweden. I’m looking on the map, I know where it’s at, it’s that way, it’s purple. And I can identify where it is that I’m going.

Pretty funny story, I was invited to go there and I have been sitting on the idea about it. My mind has been trying to talk me out of it, actually. And my body is a hell yes. So I waited and then I received another invitation and I waited. And then I’m going with it.

So this is truly living by strategy and authority. I swear to you, it does not make sense mentally. I love what I’m going to do, I will tell you all about it. I’m so excited. My mind doesn’t understand why do I have to go so far to do it. And like it tried to make sense of the expense, the being out of the country, the long flights, all of the things. And it was hilarious because I watched the emotional wave. I watched the ups and downs and I watched the yes remain the same.

That’s what I was hoping would leave, I was looking for any excuse. We have a live workshop happening at my business at the same time. I contacted Caitlin and asked her if it would be a problem. She was like, “No, definitely not. Go ahead and go.” And I’m like, someone please tell me I can’t go. It’s like this invisible mental jail that I live in, I won’t put words in your mouth.

But it’s like these rules that I’m supposed to follow of what I can and can’t do. Do any of you guys relate to that? Like it’s wrong or bad for me to be traveling. Like I have like eight flights planned in the next few months. I will be presenting and hosting and just going. I think this year I have traveled more than ever before.

I have been out of state at least two times a month, sometimes three times. I happen to be home this weekend and it starts all up again on Wednesday between Sweden, and Arizona, and Miami, and Colorado. I’ll be presenting at the hypnotherapy conference in Vegas and also in Michigan. I’ll be presenting at the Human Design Conference in Colorado Springs in September. So you guys should check all of those things out and come join me. Come hang out with me, I would love to visit with you.

All right, let’s get on with the show. Today I am talking about what you know is preventing you from knowing something else. So I have been talking a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot about this to the E-Schoolers, to Self-Healing Masters, to my private clients, integrative coaches. What we know is such a tiny portion of what’s available to know.

So imagine the size of your pinkie compared to the size of both your hands all together, like all of your fingers and palms. What we know is what we recall, or remember, or assume from the experience we have had. From our upbringing, from our surrounding, our environment, what we were brought up to believe, what we have seen. And it’s so tiny, but we’ve been believing that for so long that we think it is everything.

And because of that we have an attachment to it. And there’s another portion, probably about the size of your pinky and ring finger that you know you don’t know. So you’re like, this is what I do know, and you hold onto it for dear life. And then this is what I don’t know that I would like to figure out. It’s what you don’t know you don’t know. And then everything else is what you don’t even know exists. It’s fascinating.

So you imagine like this big globe and what you do know is one little speck on that globe. But yet you hold onto it as if it’s your everything because the mind is so attached, and wants to be right, and needs to know, needs to be certain and sure. And so it holds onto it so strongly that you resist letting in anything else.

Now, let me tell you why that’s a problem, because everything else is available and you’re not getting it. You’re not finding it, you’re not seeing it. You’re not able to explore it or experience it because the focus and attention is so hooked on what you do know.

So let me give you an example of this. Imagine you are trying to solve a problem but all you could think about is what is going wrong. And so you go into this, I’ll call it like spooling, it’s like spinning and looping at the same time. So it’s like you regurgitate the same thought, the same problem over and over. And you can only see the problem and the more you see the problem the more that it spools, the more that it loops and spins. The more real the problem gets.

And then your mind is like a magnet that is gathering more evidence to prove that that is true. So now your mind can only focus on one thing at a time and so you have just created that to be your only reality. But what’s really happening is there’s multiple realities and you can choose to think about or believe any of the others because it’s all true. It’s all real simultaneously.

The difference is your mind is so focused on the problem, so focused on what you do know, it’s almost like imprisoned by that knowledge. And if you’re not willing to release and expand what you’re calling your truth or your knowing, then you won’t grow, you won’t evolve, you won’t expand, and you won’t be able to experience anything different. And so you basically create your own mental reality.

I think of it as being in jail. It feels like imprisonment. It’s like you’re in the little teeny tiny jail cell, you know the size of the room, you could find the bed in the dark. You know every spot on the wall. You know every speck on the floor. You know everything about the four by four space, or whatever space it is, whatever size it is.

And because it is familiar, because it is comfortable, you stay inside there so that you could be right. So that you can have a familiar space. So you can know what to expect and so that it can feel safe. Now, the door is open and you can walk out all the way through the front door and out into the world. A whole new world, a new reality that is also existing.

So what’s happening in the cell is real, it’s true. Every speck on the floor and wall, every bar you can count, where the bed is, everything. All of that is true, it is reality. And so is the path out, like the way that you’ll walk to get out the door. And so is what you will see when you get outside of the door all the way until you stop walking. You just keep going.

All of that is just as real and available. But the inability to get out of the norm, the familiar, the safety, and the knowing is actually preventing you from having more, something else, maybe even something better. So when you think about stepping out of the cell, when you think about maybe getting a book on a topic that you think is bad or wrong, maybe getting on an airplane and going into another country, which is what I’m doing and I’m kind of freaking out about that feels so wrong.

I’m like a 53 year old woman who earns my own way and makes my own decisions. ones. And there is like a mental story about what I should or shouldn’t do, or if that’s okay. And then worse than that is like, can I come back on a Tuesday and hop on an airplane 24 hours later and go through, like oh my god, I’m going to get in trouble. That’s the invisible cell. That’s that mental world. There’s something in my mind that believes it’s wrong or bad and dangerous. It’s too much.

It’s so real, guys. And it’s the same thing with religious dogma, generational patterning, societal conditioning, environmental messaging, the things that you have heard that are wrong and bad and you’ve never left the zip code that you were born and raised in, so you never saw anything else. No other cultures, no other religions, no other ways, then you are probably locked in a mental cell, just so you know.

This is so hard for my clients, especially when they are looking at relationships, marriage, business, what they can or can’t say, what they should or shouldn’t do. An example of this is even about you’re not supposed to do anything unless your husband goes with you. Or you can’t experience a certain place unless he sees it with you for the first time.

Or, I don’t know, we had a conversation this week about sleeping in separate bedrooms, or going on separate vacations. Or for me, some of my best friends, or I should say all of my best friends are in business. They’re in business with me. We geek out over business because that is what we have in common. And there are things I don’t like to do, that I don’t want to do, that some people think I should do because that is what a mother, or a grandmother, or a sister, or a mom is supposed to do.

According to who? Who wrote that law? Who created that jail cell? Have you ever questioned these things? Like you’re supposed to all eat at the same time and like the same foods. And I don’t know, some of the craziest stuff. I remember this when my kids were growing up and anytime they would ask their dad to go anywhere, the answer was always no. It was just a habit, just like no. So we would come up with creative ways and make other ideas. You know, we’d kind of orchestrate it a little bit differently.

But I was brought up not asking anyone if I could go or not. And the one time my dad decided that I couldn’t or wouldn’t, I walked out. I mean, we were at my aunt’s house for Christmas, I walked out and I don’t even know how the friend contacted me, we didn’t have cell phones, but somehow I walked out and left like, “Boo, what you talking about?”

Yet, he comes from a very safe environment and doesn’t take any risks, and likes it in the cell. Very, very comfortable in this zip code, doesn’t want to leave the house, doesn’t want to move anywhere else. It’s interesting how I took on his beliefs and it created this mental wall around my thinking. It’s fascinating.

So what I want to offer you on today’s show is are you willing to maybe let go of what you know in order to know something else? Could you just consider that there’s something more that could be helpful for you if you’re willing to experience it? Because I’m thinking about when we go to the bookstore, or when we’re flipping through movie channels. I’m the type of person that you’ll hear that often, right? I don’t like this. Like for instance, I don’t like action movies, I like dramas. And yet I loved Top Gun.

And I have to question that, like is that true that I don’t like action movies? Is that true that I didn’t like to sit on the edge of my seat? No, it’s totally not true. It’s a story that I made up about the past. So if I wouldn’t have been willing to know or try something else, I wouldn’t have had that experience, which as you guys know from a few episodes ago was really fascinating.

So consider that what you know could be possibly blocking you from knowing something that you may want to experience. Going to another country, going somewhere out of the norm with maybe someone you don’t typically go with. Like maybe going by yourself, going with friends. Do you all have this best certain friend, like I did for 17 years and it that was kind of like an unspoken code that we just did everything together.

And I’ve done that, I get really attached and I’ll go out of town and go to certain conferences or events and I meet this one person, and I sit with them. And then we find things that we have in common and then we go to dinner. And then it’s like we want the familiar, it’s like, oh, it’s impolite if I go with someone else or if I meet someone else. I should ask that person because now I have an attachment. Now I have an obligation.

How often do you guys do that? We do that down here in the south a lot. That’s what we love about E-School and what our clients love about us, is because we are that way, it’s the southern hospitality. We’re always checking in on them. We know exactly what they’re all working on. I don’t know if they’ve ever felt so seen and heard and cared for.

But do we do it because it’s a habit? Do we do it because we like it? I mean, would we even stop to question it? So it’s even like I’ve been told I work too much or I shouldn’t work this much. And I tried not working. I set boundaries and I was like, I’m not talking to anyone from this day to this day, or from this time to this time. Guys, I like literally hated it. I want to work, I love to work, it’s fun. I mean, I would choose work over probably anything else.

And so that’s someone else’s belief. So I’m willing to know something different. I’m willing to consider that maybe they’re wrong and maybe my mind has an attachment to what it used to know, or what it thought was correct in its knowing. So consider it. Question it.

Are you willing to let go of what you do know in order to know something else? Because you probably know 5% of what’s available. So there is a whole other 95% that you haven’t even considered yet. Poof, so good. I love knowing something new every day, something like, oh my God, I didn’t know that. I’m so happy to know that now, right?

Matter of fact, I’m just going to leave on this little short story. So yesterday there were a couple of ducks that walked across my yard. They were super cool with these little baby ducks. And man, I mean, I was so fired up because last year I saw the same thing and I was really excited about it. It was like a little duck parade happening in my yard between, there’s like a crawfish lake across the street, across the highway, and then going through to the pasture, there’s like a hay field.

I was like so excited. I couldn’t believe I didn’t get it on camera. It happened on the Fourth of July, it happened again. So I like quietly opened the door to go video them this year and they heard and they stopped and they turned around. And so I didn’t get it. I got a picture, but I really didn’t get like the parade, I’ll call it.

So I was posting about it on social media, I was telling my team and one of my clients, like it came up in her memories that the same exact day last year was the duck parade. So now I know, I marked my calendar July 4th or July 5th that there is a duck parade and so I’m going to check it. And so I was telling my husband and he’s like, yeah, like animals know. They do the same thing all the time. So see, I didn’t know that.

So are you willing to know something different? And I will let you know what I find out being in Stockholm, Sweden. I’ll let you know what I didn’t know, because I have no idea what’s there. Like literally don’t know, didn’t know where it was at on the map. It was a gut instinct. My sacral is a yes, I follow my Human Design, I’m an emotional generator. I responded and my mind is freaking out, which is very normal. And I’m going to go and let you know what it is.

I know it’s going to lead to some sort of experience that I have to have. I’ve had this hunch before, I’ve followed it before, it’s taken me on many journeys. I’ve opened many businesses because of it, I feel like it’s like a Holy Spirit guidance, it’s a God, it’s a knowing that’s beyond anything that I could explain. You could say it’s mystical. And it’s never led me astray, I always have the experience that I’m supposed to have. It always grows and evolves me. I can’t wait to share with you what comes out of this, so have a great week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.