Ep #202: Experience Over Perfection

 

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#202: Experience Over Perfection

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey there, and welcome back to the show. Here we are coming to the end of the year. What? That was kind of fast, right? That’s what I’m thinking now. Didn’t feel that way when I was slugging through my power word or power challenge of the word this year, which was trust. I had a lot of experiences that did not feel good as I was stepping into more inner guidance, more inner trust, and really taking a hard close look at my behavior patterns that were coming from my belief patterns.

That is what made this year so impactful for me. I lost some things, but I gained so much more. I gained more confidence in myself. I’m clearer than ever about where I’m going. And who’s coming with me? That was another big thing, is recognizing that I can trust people around me and it’s really… we’ve developed very close intimate relationships because of that.

And I don’t know that I was so open to that before because distrust kept coming up because of my past experiences. So, being willing to heal some of that old trauma so that I can step into full trust. Full trust. Not just trust in spirit, because I’ve always had that. I’ve always had that inner knowing that came from Source.

It’s always guided me. But what I didn’t have is trust in the humans; trust in other people. I struggled with that the majority of my life, and I really was able to see it better this year. So, for that, I am thankful for it. Anyway, let’s get on with today’s show, I am talking about experience outranks perfection.

I was talking about this in one of my containers (E-School or Self-Healing Masters or maybe the 10-week Intensive) this week, that so many new coaches, entrepreneurs, and even people who are new to personal development in this capacity, are trying to get it right. Are trying to be perfect. Maybe it’s in your relationships.

Maybe it’s in your business offer or your business model, helping people, whatever it is. Even in the gym or losing weights or getting fit. Think about what holds you back from the results that you want and tell me if it’s the lack of movement and the lack of experience because you’re trying to be perfect; because you’re trying to get it right. That you’re not willing to do things that may not work, and that ends up resulting in not moving the needle.

So, what I have seen, especially with my clients in business, is they’re looking everywhere else for a proven system? So, they’re looking at other coaches or other practitioners and trying to figure out what they did to get where they’re at. But they don’t know the whole story. All they know is what that person is showing them online or what they’re talking about on their social media, but they don’t have the full picture of what it took for them to get there. And that’s what I want to talk about today, is if you are unwilling to experience because you want it to be perfect, it’s actually going to hold you up.

You can spend years in spin mode. It’s like being in your vehicle and having your foot on the brake and the gas at the same time. So, you are braking for protection, for safety, to make sure that you don’t fail, that you don’t make a fool of yourself, so that maybe it’s even in your relationship. You don’t want to say the wrong thing because you don’t want them to get mad, and so you’re braking and not fully expressing who you are. You’re not being transparent.

You’re not willing to be all of yourself, so you have one foot on the brake. And then your other foot, you could say, this is like your soul or higher self that wants to go forward is, like, pushing the gas. Like let’s do this already. I’m so tired of waiting. I’ve got enough. I learned enough. I know enough, and it’s like trying to push forward.

But that other part of you that has limiting beliefs or old past beliefs, whatever their stories are that your mind carries around, is pushing the brake down and that leads to burnout. Action doesn’t lead to burnout. Trying to be in action and in resistance at the same time, that is what leads to burnout. Because you’re constantly putting pressure on the motor and on the brake at the same time.

So, it’s going in. Can you just imagine what I’m saying? Pushing, pausing, stopping, going all at the same time, and that uses so much energy. Just like when you’re trying to figure something out mentally, like when you’re trying to get the mind to understand it, and you’re scanning all of these scenarios and all of these experiences, you’re judging and you’re comparing and you’re trying to figure it out, and it’s just going in this… imagine the earth just spinning really, really, really, really, really fast. It’s just exhausting.

So, the experience is not as scary as it seems. That’s what I want to offer you today. Matter of fact, my experience has given me more return on investment than anything else. I was telling the 10-week Intensive this a couple hours ago, and I was like, “Guys, I like fell a lot! There’s a lot that I don’t know, and I use that shit. I use all of it. I use my failures. I use making fun of myself and what I don’t know or what I should have known.”

I was laughing. I was like, “I found out this year that you can drive to Alaska. You can’t drive to Hawaii.” Right? So what? I did not learn what most kids did in school. I was there for food and friends.

I actually was not interested in my education, and I didn’t have anyone at home telling me how important it was. And I was so dang poor I never thought I would travel. So, why did I need to know about geography? I memorized what I had to memorize to pass the test to make sure I can go to the next grade with my friends, and that was it.

And so, as an adult, I’m learning a lot of things and I decided I am not going to be ashamed of that. And so, if someone thinks it makes me look dumb or stupid, that’s them and that’s them judging themselves. I actually am not dumb or stupid. There are just some things that I don’t know. Call me ignorant about some things, but that’s being willing to be transparent, to be open, to be vulnerable, and to share some of the experience that I have had has brought me so much money, so much abundance, so much success! Because I’m willing to share my experience. And in sharing that experience, I give them courage to go and share it themselves, to share their own experience, to try new things.

That is part of who I am in this material world. I’m someone who shakes things up. I actually help you question things. Like, are you sure that’s true? What else is true? That’s what I bring to the table, and the only way I can do that is if I stay in experience as soon as I try to perfect it, I try to get things right, as soon as I believe there is a right or wrong or a black and white way, I start losing. I get out afloat; I get out of alignment. I get out of rhythm. I’m no longer having fun. I’m taking everything serious, and it all starts falling apart. My team falls apart. Our clientele stops growing. Like everything just comes to a halt, and it’s because I have my foot on the brake and the gas at the same time.

So, the part of me that’s super confident in experience is the gas. I’m ready to just go and flow and see what happens. Fly by the seat of my pants. And then my foot on the brake, that’s typically my husband’s voice that says, “You shouldn’t do that. People are not going to hire you if they know how you are.”

Whatever it is. He thinks I have a hidden life, by the way. I am exactly the same way here as I am at home, but in his mind, there’s no way I can be that transparent, and find my own faults, and be open about it, and be successful. He just doesn’t understand that at all. And I’m like, “It’s the very reason for my success!” Because I am in total alignment when I’m not in shame about who I am.

I talked about this last week on the show. It’s like pure self-love, self-acceptance. I actually think it’s easier to love ourselves than it is to fully accept ourselves.

What I want to offer you this week is, are you willing to have more experience? Because experience outranks perfection every time. I’m telling you. People don’t want perfect.

It’s too hard to follow or to copy. I can’t do it. I can’t follow that perfect person with their perfect body, with their perfect partner, with their perfect bank account. I can’t do it. It’s not me. It’s not aligned, it’s not authentic, it’s not genuine, and it does not lead to success. And then I don’t have anything to sell right now.

What I’m selling is all of the things that I have tried, and then I can share what has worked and what hasn’t worked, and it has given me so much more creativity in helping other people with their business, because I have so much experience to bring to the table. Like imagine… I’m like trailer park trash coming to town, opening a business, and being successful.

Who said that that’s okay, right? That’s like breaking all the rules. But yet here I am. And the way that I was successful is by serving, by really respecting and valuing relationships and people, treating them with respect, and giving them what I would want as a client or as a customer. That is how I have been successful. And I wouldn’t be able to help other people do this if I wouldn’t have had that experience for myself.

First of all. Let me just say this. The more you have to lose, the harder this is going to be. So, if you are in a respected position, you have a lot of followers, and you change things up and you risk losing those followers, or what they think about you, your brain is going to resist this. Just letting you know.

If you don’t have a lot of followers and don’t have a lot of people who are expecting you to be exactly the same, it’s going to be easier for you to go and try something new and different because it’s not so risky. Right? And I see that stop more people in business than anything else.

I have a few massage therapists that I work with that the number one goal was to get them to $5,000 a month consistently. That’s $60,000 a year as a massage therapist, and they’re able to work the hours that they want to work. That’s a big deal. I know in the coaching industry, they throw out multiple seven, six figures, and all this stuff, but quite honestly, I pulled up the average household incomes. 50, 60 to $80,000 is a lot of money. Seriously. And yet, here are these new entrepreneurs trying to get it perfect, trying to do it right, trying to do what someone else is doing, and make six and seven figures right out the gate.

You are sitting in the parking lot in your car with both feet on the brakes. That’s where that leads to. Because you’re judging and comparing and then you’re in despair about why it’s not working for you, why it can’t happen for you. And I guarantee you the only reason it hasn’t happened for you yet is because you don’t have the experience. Because you haven’t taken enough action toward what you want.

You’re spending more time in action of what you don’t want. In other words, thinking is the action. You’re spending all this time thinking about how to avoid failure, how to avoid people seeing you in the public, not do it. So, all of that time, thinking is keeping you away from doing and experiencing. And if I had one thing that I can credit all of my success, it would be experience.

Experience as a mother of five children, experience as a grandmother of 12, experience as a wife. I’ve been in this relationship for over 34 years. Experience as a Louisiana homesteader, like living out here in the South and figuring things out for myself. Experience about being in business.

I’m guessing at these years, but my brick and mortar opened in 1997 and I went into business two years prior to that. So, you figure it out and let me know, but it’s over 25 years. So, my experience as a business owner who had no guidance or no mentor and didn’t really know what I was doing, I just treated people the way I would want to be treated, and I served them in the capacity that I wanted to be served, and I was very successful in all of the business ventures that I went on.

And here’s another thing, if I were worried about being perfect, I would’ve had one business model or one business plan, and I would’ve stuck to it. But that’s not what happened. I started off with a tanning bed and nails, and then hair, and then ladies’ fitness, and then another location, and then massage therapy, and yoga, and meditation, and coaching.

And can you see how I just kept experiencing and experiencing and experiencing? And what I would do is I would try something and that would bring up a problem, and then I would solve that next problem and I would sell it. And I just kept doing that for all of these years. That is experience, and that’s where I credit my success, is I desire to serve.

I desired to get out of the house with my kids because I did not like being in my house with my kids and broke. It was terrible. I felt trapped and I couldn’t do anything with them. We couldn’t do anything fun because I didn’t have any money, and I had them, so I couldn’t go make any money. Does that make sense?

That’s a trap I had put myself in according to my beliefs. All of that had to change. From the experience is what created the success. The very first thing I did was sell Avon in order to bring them to a babysitter for a few hours. So, I actually traded off the Avon order for the time watching the kids.

So, if it was $20 a day, I gave her $20 worth of Avon. That’s how it started. And so, for you guys who don’t want to go and experience that, you don’t want to go try maybe working for a little bit less than the market; you don’t want to go and help people so that you can get more experience in your skill set. This is what’s holding you up!

If you are wanting to improve your relationship, but you’re not willing to have a transparent, vulnerable, open conversation that is uncomfortable, same thing. If you’re not willing to walk into a gym because you judge your body or your condition, your physical condition, same thing.

You’ve got to be willing to do the thing that’s uncomfortable to get the experience to get to the next level of success. That’s what I’m going to leave with you this week. I want you to really consider this as we are ending this year and see what you can change in the new year. Like use this to take you to the next level.

What do you need to experience in order to achieve the results that you want? Think about it right now. Open up your journals and write it out. If you want to be a better coach, you need to experience more coaching. If you want to be a better massage therapist, you need to experience more massage. If you want to be a better partner, you need to experience more communication. If you want to have a fitter body, you need to experience going into the gym and not judging the body that you have now, or judge it and accept at the same time. Like, “Yes, I can see that I judge my body and I’m learning to accept it.” And you do it and, and…

Does that make sense? By the way, I just got my Peloton order in last night, so this is all about a better me in ’23 and I got the rower, and the tread, and the bike, and then I have all of these weights, and yoga mats, and I am ready. I was so excited to do my first workout this morning. It was super fun. The delivery came a day early last night, and even after hearing horror stories about some of the deliveries, this one was perfect. They actually called me, like after dark, and he’s like, “Do you mind if we get this to you early so that we don’t have to come back out here tomorrow?”

And I was like, “so far so good.” Let ’em in. Had a great conversation. They were super friendly; they put it all together. They cleaned up their mess. It was a great experience. Thank you, Peloton. I discovered that I am a Peloton lover. Starbucks. What else? I was thinking the other day of the name brand stuff. Apple. I’m an Apple girl. And there was one more thing. Oh, it might be Yukon. Like, I love my Yukon. And so, I’m starting to notice that my buying habits are a reflection of who I am. And I see a lot of people who argue against that. And I’m like so sure that I love Peloton. I just do. I feel really comfortable.

I love the workout. Now, I had a gym for 20-something years and Precor used to be my brand. I have to tell you that I’m loving this Peloton world. I also love Starbucks. I’m giving some shout outs to my favorites, and I guess we’ll end the year with this. And also, I wouldn’t know that if I wouldn’t have been willing to experience it; if I wouldn’t have been willing to buy that first purchase and get on there and do something I had never done.

Does that make sense? In the past, I wouldn’t have done that. I would’ve gone to the store, got commercial quality. I would’ve stuck with the same exact thing, but I was willing to try something different. I was willing to experience something different. And I feel like I’m winning. So I want to offer you to go and get more experience because it really does outrank perfection.

And perfection’s kind of boring, by the way. It’s impossible to follow, and it’s a little stiff, a little rigid, whereas I find experience is flexible and flowy. So, with that, hope you guys have great holidays and start planning the beginning of your new you in the new year. I know that’s a bit cliché. That’s why I’m like, “It’s more of me or a better me in ’23.” Sounds a little bit funner.

All right, that’s what I got for you this week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.