Ep #30: Failure to Launch

Welcome to Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners, the only podcast that can help YOU help more people, create a greater impact, and make more money in the health and wellness industry. Join Master Clarity and Confidence Coach, Kim Guillory, as she teaches you how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started…

Hey guys, welcome back to the show. You know I’m always super excited to have this little chat with you every week. So, I have been lining up guests to bring onto the show. I’m super excited about this. They are already using this approach in their business and in their own personal life and really getting amazing results, and they want to share that with you and I want to share that with you because it is magical.

I believe it is everything. It’s the solution to all of the problems in your business, in your life. It’s all about health, relationships, finances, your health, wealth, and relationships. Because this is not just your relationships with other people, but your relationship with yourself, your relationship with your dreams.

Like, do you stay committed to that? Are you committed to your dreams? Are you committed to yourself, to your vision? Where are you? As much as you would commit to your children or your parents or your best friend, do you commit to yourself?

So these gals did, and I want to bring them on for them to share their experience and how it has truly transformed their business just by adding these simple steps, something that they were just missing. They were already trying, they already had clients, they already had a business. They were already at a point where they were helping with transformation, but this took it to a whole other level. So, I am lining up those to come on the next few weeks, so I hope you will stay with us and cheer them on.

Alright, so for today, I want to talk about the failure to launch. So, I’ve narrowed down exactly who I’m speaking to on a webinar last night and I was like, this is so interesting. And so I had them type in who were they, and it was really cool to watch it.

So, the three types of people are, you already have a business, but you haven’t figured it out. Like, you haven’t figured out how to really get it selling and make the money that you want consistently. So you keep trying things and you keep trying, you’re falling flat, right? I say flat like a pancake. You try it, you fall, you try it, you fall and you’re like, I can’t get this, I’m so frustrated, I can’t figure out why people don’t want it. So that would be the first type.

The second type is you have this passion and this heart-centered mission to help serve and heal and help. And that’s because you have your own story. You have your own transformation. You’re like, everybody needs to know about this. I’ve got to find a platform or a way or a system so that I can go out and tell the world because I’m so excited to no longer be in chronic pain or scarcity or in broken relationships. And it’s like, I figured out, like, I have to tell people about the magic. So that’s the second type.

And right now, you’re just sensing that you have a message to tell the world, that you have this calling and purpose that’s, like, bigger than your logical tangible world and you’re not quite sure on how to do that. So you haven’t come up with a way to serve.

The third person is you haven’t figured out your own issue. You have the certifications, you’re kind of in business, but you haven’t had your own personal transformation in a way that kind of, like, cinched the deal.  So it’s like I think about this Tupperware and you’re putting this lid on it and it’s like that, where you just seal the end of the lid, like it’s all sealed in, in a cute little package. And it’s like, this is the transformation that I’ve figured out.

And the way you know this is you’re still stuck. Like, you don’t have the health that you want, you’re still in scarcity, you still have doubt and fear and you’re, like, not quite sure exactly – something just doesn’t feel right and you have imposter syndrome.

And I’m just thinking about this, but I probably should add a fourth type, and these are probably my favorite. You have multiple certifications and you have spent gobs of money of strategies and systems and websites and figuring out the things. So, my multiple certification gal, you’re my bud. This was me, right?

I started as a cosmetologist and then it was health coach, life coach, massage therapist, yoga, meditation, like all of the things. I was trying so hard to get all of the loopholes covered, like what am I not getting? What am I not understanding? Maybe it’s that, maybe it’s this. And I love you guys because we are some daredevils. We don’t give up. We’re just going to, like, find the next solution. Give me the problem, I’m going to go out and solve it.

And we are not afraid to invest in ourselves because we know that we have a purpose and a passion and a mission here to serve and we will do whatever it takes in order to get that done. So, if I had a favorite, you’re likely my favorite.

Alright, so we’re at the tail end of Belief Boot Camp. And what I like to use this podcast for is to kind of share the things that come to our awareness during the boot camp, during the process. So what’s happening here is we are taking humans, taking the humans into the portal of transformation, the portal of possibility.

So what we’re doing is we’re taking the work from here, right here what I’m talking about on the podcast, and from the book, and from this simple five-step system, plus a few extra things that I use in coaching, and we’re taking it down onto a level where it can actually be broken down and used step by step.

And so we have weekly calls, we have coaching, we have homework, we have a group that we’re in. and I love watching the transformation, the ones that are kind of spinning, the ones that are – I like watching the different layers and levels begin to peel away. It’s super interesting and helpful for me and for them because they get to see each other. And you have this amazing community that supports the transformation process

And what we’re realizing, more than ever, is this more than mindset that I keep talking about, which is it’s not just about changing your thoughts. It’s not about thinking positive. It’s not about another affirmation or another cute little meme that you can post on your Facebook that day that’s going to give you all the ooey-gooey feelings or the next scripture that’s going to, like, get you out of the next five seconds. It’s just more than mindset.

That’s the number one thing that we’re discovering is the clients are actually experiencing now what I’m talking about because they’re like, what now? What now? Like, I’ve already bought all these certifications, all these systems, all this – like, I’ve tried all of these different strategies and it’s like what now, there’s got to be something more?

And there is. And that’s what we’re going to talk about. And no matter which one of these people you are and which one of these problems you have, we’re going to talk about that today.

So, the second thing that I want to discuss and that I’m noticing is there’s three reasons that people are failing to launch in their life, relationships, health, wealth, business, whatever it is. And that is, number one, their beliefs. Number two, their conditioning, or shall I say preconditioning. And number three, they’re coming from the wrong approach.

So, a belief is a thought, thought over and over. So that’s what we hear, that’s what we say. But when I talk about a belief, I take it one layer deeper. So if you’ve heard last week’s podcast, and maybe even the week before, I talk about this.  I believe that the beliefs are instilled, or the emotional signature is coming from the belief being the combination of the thought that creates the emotion.

So you believe it so in depth that it has this signature, this pattern, and you know exactly how you feel when you think it, but you’re kind of locked into it. So then that particular belief is running the show, right? The conditioning is what have you been taught all of these years prior to now? What have you been hypnotized by?  What’s the environment that you serve in? What’s the culture that you live in?

So the conditioning, that’s the second reason. So if you don’t believe that it’s possible for you, you’ve been told that money doesn’t grow on trees, you can’t do what your neighbor’s doing, she lives in California so surely she can do it or this person was born by this corporate American guru’s daughter and so she can do it because that’s who she is. Whatever it is that you have come up in your mind, just know that’s some conditioning and believing.

And the last thing is coming from the wrong place, and that is you are taking action from the wrong place. So you believe that your thoughts create your actions, create your results. So you think a thing and you’re supposed to get these certain results, okay, and you’ve been doing that over and over and over and now it’s like you’re coming from the T-line, the thought line, and you’re thinking that that is going to create the results that you really want and you have been saddened many times because it doesn’t happen that way.

The person who feels more than they think, so the feeling overrides the thinking, and they’re trying to do it from a thought place, they’re not going to get the results from the actual thought. They’re going to get their results from the actual emotion because the emotion is ultimately what drives the action, right?

Another thing to look at is if you’re action-oriented or action-driven, it’s like, you see this thing and then you’re just like, I’m just going to take the action, this is what it is, I know the action says, or the person, system, that taught you or whoever the coach is says that you have to take this particular action, you have to do Facebook ads, you have to have a website, you need to have business cards, you need to go to these social events, you need to do it a certain way.

And you just go to town and do it, whether it feels good or not, whether you believe it or not. You’re looking at Suzie so and so did it or Tammy whoever did it, or whoever that person is, that’s how they did it, and surely, if it worked for them it’s going to work for me. And you just go to town and just keep doing that action, you keep hitting your head against a brick wall and you don’t get the result but you just keep doing it and you just keep willpowering, white knuckling all the way to no results, empty results, failure to launch, not getting your business off the ground.

The other thing may be you need to have a specific niche, you need to know exactly who you’re talking to. And it’s like you want to go into all of the problems and you are just spinning in the crazy, which is what I did for so much time; so much time. Actually, I did it in all of these, that’s how I know what I’m talking about.

Alright, so you’re trying to do something form a thought that you don’t really believe, and because the emotion is driving the action, you’re not actually taking the action that you think you’re taking, you’re taking it from the emotion. Or you’re doing what someone else says that you don’t truly believe and you’re completely ignoring the emotion. That sensation in your body, you’re like, I’m not supposed to feel this way. Either you don’t do it or you do it from a weird place, like a kind of needy creepy demanding forceful frustrated controlling kind of way, like why don’t you just buy this? You need to buy this. You need to buy this from me right now, right, like your life depends on it, and if you don’t do it, this is going to happen to you.

So that’s like coming from that misaligned emotion. You’re coming from a place of I’m going to die if I don’t get this business off the ground, right? And the understanding behind that is actually the vibration and the energy that you put out. Guys, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. You can tell when a person walks into a room or when they come up or walk up to you or your table, you know, it’s like when they get close to you, you can feel when they come into your energy, they have this essence of this Chihuahua energy or this kind of melancholy.

They can just bring down the whole room or bring up the whole room.  You can take one person who’s got super high energy, put them into a really calm classroom, and have that classroom going crazy, you know what I’m talking about? And so that’s what I mean by you really have to have all of these in alignment. So what you want, what you believe, how you think and feel and the action being in alignment – so it’s the belief plus the aligned action will therefore give you those results.

And the part that has been so helpful, or what I believe has made the difference in my process and program, is the ability to go and do a root canal, so it’s going beneath the surface, beyond the mind, and pulling up, uprooting, dismantling that root that is so deep that you cannot logically see it. So, three reasons that people fail to launch, their beliefs are misaligned, they’ve been conditioned to believe they’re not good enough, that they can’t succeed, they’ll always fail, someone else can do it better, or they’re coming from the wrong, whether I be thought, emotion, or action, or result.

How are you driven as an individual? This is something I do with my clients personally, each one, is I help them to discover their unique gift, how they do things. That’s not just personality. It’s like archetype and energy type, and there’s a lot of things that I bring into this system. It’s like, how are you designed as a human? You, you, you, you, you, not someone else, and then what is driving your soul? What is the intention, mission, that feeling that you are coming from, what is it that you want to put out into the world but the conditioning is blocking you from bringing her forward or bringing it out there?

So it’s this uncovering process, this deconditioning, getting that out of the way and then evolving what is, like, the part of you that has not developed yet? It’s like buried so deep inside or it’s actually defragmented. In other words, it’s not even in your system anymore because you’ve had some sort of setback or trauma that’s been unresolved or not integrated yet, and so you actually eject from yourself, like a part of you separates, splits off.

So you just imagine that you were making a bowl of Jell-O but you were making it in ice trays, and so it’s like several different pieces. So you couldn’t make a mold out of it, right, you couldn’t gel it into one specific unique round ball because it’s separated into all of these little pieces. We do this, this is our defense, and then we create this wall, but we can’t see it.  We can’t see behind.

This is where our shadow is. This is what I mean by shadow work or shadow dancing is there is so much fear and shame and doubt that’s attached to that, that it’s really hard to bring those pieces back. And if you don’t integrate and embody them back into your life, then you kind of like – not this whole system, this whole structure, and that is what integration is all about. That’s the solution that I offer.

It’s integrating your experiences, your skills, your passion, with these tools, and then creating a viable business so you can help more people so you can make more money and make more impact, all of those, or an entity within itself. It’s kind of just the thing you do is once you are in your unique authentic power, once you are in your authority of the gifts that you are bringing here – and yes, I believe every single one of you have a gift. I 100% believe that.

The thing is, we’ve got to get to the deconditioning and unveil, dismantle this unconscious story that’s telling you what you are not, the not you self that’s running your show. And I believe that is what makes my particular coaching or coaching program or processing different, is the fact that it’s about individuality, it’s about experiences, and it’s about this unique system of processing, integrating, embodying, becoming so that you can actually come to this place of living your life’s legacy, who you are as an integrated being on all levels; mentally the way you think, emotionally the way you feel, physically the way you show up in your physical body, in your physical life, your space, financially your ability and your belief in making money and being a responsible and support yourself and being able to cover your needs. And then spiritually, like, are you connected with your creator?

I’ve had this question this week or last week about my spirituality where someone was kind of worried about me because it didn’t feel like I was all – I, by no means, am religious. But I am super spiritual. I’m all connected. I’m all about this unique gift and passion and identity and this extension or reflection of creation. Like, I believe that we are all created in the image of god, 100%.

And I believe this soul essence, this expression that we’ve come to experience in this lifetime, in human form, is basically us just a piece of each other and it’s just a body suit over my piece. What’s inside is this really gooey unconditional love and compassion and understanding and, like, what we’re looking for is this community and connection with each other.

We want to be seen. We want to be safe. We want to know that we are part of the collaborative. We want to know that we belong. And this conditioning is actually creating that separation. And that’s why I’m saying we have to decondition. We have to unveil the story that you are separate.

You are not separate. It’s only in the lack of integration or in the lack of processing and embodiment that you are separate. In other words, it’s an illusion that you are separate. If you feel lonely, if you feel isolated, if you feel unsuccessful, things don’t happen for you, they don’t go right for you, that is coming from unconscious belief. That is not coming from your natural essence. I hope that makes sense. I have one more thing to discuss with you.

So that’s the core of this particular show today is the reasons why people are failing to launch their business, their relationships, and their health. And so if you’re stuck in chronic pain and you’re not getting the breakthrough and you know that I take people through this process to reduce chronic pain and to get them back into alignment with their life so that that is no longer happening in their body because it’s just a physical manifestation of the mental and emotional self. Let’s make sure we’re all agreeing on that. I’ve not changed my mind.

And through that process and you reintegrating, your health improves. Through the same process and you reintegrating, then you have better health, wealth, and relationships. So it does affect your physical health. It does affect your finances. And then it does affect your relationships, your friendships, your family, your partner, your children, all of your relationships, your relationship with money, with your business.

Actually, how do you treat your business? What is your relationship? Do you hate your business? Is it a struggle? Do you baby it and love it and try to grow it every day the way you would take care of an infant? Where is your business in the process right now and what are you doing to be responsible for that growing entity, like you would an infant or a child?

Alright, the third thing I want to talk about is one of the other reasons that you may not be seeing the results you want to see in your business is you may not have taken yourself through your own personal transformation, so you may not have integrated with the last things I’ve been talking about. You may not have integrated it for yourself. And if you haven’t, you’re likely not going to be able to take your clients deeper. And so if your clients are not getting super-duper breakthroughs, they’re not in this constant transformation where they are always in breakthrough and so they are happy to keep working with you because they are getting the results that they want – if your clients are not getting those results, then you are likely not getting the results, does that make sense?

How we do anything is how we do everything. Your clients are never the problem, ever. Your husband is never the problem. Your boss is never the problem. Where you live is never the problem. It’s always your thoughts, your belief, your assumptions or your conditioning about it, that’s your work, because we’re just a reflection for each other. We’re just mirrors to show us our own stuff.

So, to take your clients deeper is to take yourself deeper. To grow your business is to grow yourself. To expand and evolve your business is to expand and evolve yourself, your mind. You have to build out the believable container that can receive the abundance, that can receive prosperity, that can receive success and clients that can receive surprises.

Like, I’m going to leave you with this one thing today; just consider this. What is it costing you not to get this, not to integrate it, not to bring together your skills, your passion, your experiences, who you are as an individual? What is your soul, like, crying out for to do here? What is the experience that you are being called to have?

Like, when you’re not integrating, you’re not being her right now. What is that costing you? How long have you waited for your business to launch? How long have you bought into systems and strategies and how much money have you spent on Facebook ads and websites and whatever other business thing, email building and lists and all of the stuff that you’re spending your precious time and energy on, how much is it costing you?

And not only how much is it costing you – how much is it costing your clients who are still waiting? Are you truly serving in your full potential and showing up and offering the value that you have within yourself that’s laying there underneath the conditioning, the story that’s hiding underneath all of that, how much is that costing the world? Not just you, not just your client, but your entire environment. Just really think about this.

That makes me want to take a breath. So what I want you to consider is could you open yourself to the possibility that there is more opportunity that you have not even tapped into yet, and would you be willing to, just for today, to believe so deeply that you’re willing to let go of the how-to of the action of the next thing and truly come into a belief that is so strong that you’re willing to be surprised on what is possible beyond the mind and allow that to come to you.

Like, I’m willing to believe so much so today that the evidence of that is going to come in the most unexpected way. It’s going to just show up. That’s going to be the gift of me getting into alignment with my life’s calling, my legacy, my passion. Like, I just want to be 100% present and I want to believe, for just five minutes – could you just give it five minutes – the reason that you got involved in wanting to have a business to start off with.

Is it the passion? Is it the mission to help serve and heal and help? Is it that you just have this burning desire to be connected, to matter, to be able to leave the world with an impact because you are here? Just kind of sit with that for a moment and take yourself back to your reason why.

And if it’s not close to these reasons then you wouldn’t even be listening to this podcast because I’m all about the woo. What I’m really good at and what makes me unique is that I’m super grounded in the earthly. I have a foundation in business. I’ve been in business for over 25 years. I know how to show up and serve. I know how to give my clients amazing value and I’m always looking for more ways that I can help them break through on deeper levels. So even they can have more impact and make more money and have more freedom in their own life, in their own breakthrough and transformation.

It’s all about how can I create such an amazing process that it is always giving them breakthroughs in better health, wealth, and relationships so they can help their clients go deeper?

So, that’s it. I’m just going to let you ask yourself the question, what else are you holding back? Because if you’re holding back in your business, you’re likely holding back in other areas of your life, holding back on yourself, holding back on coming out of the closet. Do you have niche shame? That is something I talked about last week.

You know, niche shame is when you know you have this unique gift, especially for me because mine is in spirituality, I have this unique gift that I know I’ve got a very natural gift about taking people into this fifth dimension of transformation, giving them that experience, allowing it to imprint, and then able to bring them back into the 3D and ground it into a tangible way in their business, in a structure.

So that’s what I think makes me unique and different is I’m super grounded, super earthly, and then I have all this belief in possibility and grace and potentiality and I’m able to, like, from the top be really woo and wavy, and then taking it all the way down into this wow and impactful and powerful, this essence that super, like, logical and grounded.

And so the process that I particularly use is I believe it all. I believe that the thoughts do create the emotions, but I am so emotionally driven that I know myself well enough and my clients that I know the emotion is driving the action that’s giving me the results. And so for us, we have to take it beyond mindset. And it’s the same thing with the clients that I work with and the coaches that I train, and so that is my specialty.

I don’t need to do all the other stuff because this is where my authority is. This is where my brilliance is. This is my unique gift, whatever you want to call it. I don’t want to put any labels or names because I don’t like those. So, that’s it. Sit with that.

We have the Integrative Life which is a free Facebook group, and then if you want to take this work deeper, we’ll take you into the portal where – we’re actually changing the names of some of these things so I’ll start putting a plug in about that.

And so the paid membership group is the place where we do the actual work, so I take you into the process. I’m there with you. I walk you through it. We do it all together. There’s an amazing community. And if you are like, I love what you’re doing, girl, I want to do what you do and I want to help people that you’re helping, then I’m like come on over and I will train you in this process, in this technique, and I will take you into the personal transformation yourself. I will hold a space for you. I will help you to discover your unique signature, whatever it is that you have, that gift, and then take you into your life’s legacy as an integrative being on all levels and natural essence and serving in ease and flow.

I will help you do that personally, and then I will teach you how to do it for other people and I’ll teach you how to master this process so that you can plug in whatever your specialty is, the certain type of clients you work with, whether it’s people with pain, or maybe it’s just helping them with courage and confidence. Maybe you’re in marketing.

Typically, who I’m helping is health and wellness leaders, so you’re actually helping people heal their physical body or their minds or their emotions, or release some kind of unresolved trauma, you’re already in some sort of service-oriented healing modality.

Alright, that’s all that’s going on with me. We’ve got a new coach training coming up, so reach out and let’s have an assessment. Let’s have a conversation. Let’s do a strategy call and see if it’s a fit for you. And if not, maybe you just want to take the work deeper and you want to come into the membership, or you decide. How’s that? You decide. Alright, until next week…

Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today.