Ep #278 How to Get Hard Things DONE

In this episode of More Than Mindset, I’m sharing my favorite mind game to help me get hard things done!
There is no reason put yourself in uncomfortable situations when you really don’t need to, so how do you grow your business when you have a backup plan? 
If you have another income that pays the bills, are you struggling to push yourself when growing the business gets tough? 

What You’ll Learn:

  • The importance of public speaking and overcoming fears
  • Understanding and creating fabricated urgency to drive action
  • Personal stories of overcoming adversity and using it as a motivational tool
  • Strategies for business growth and the significance of setting and achieving impactful goals
  • Encouragement to embrace discomfort and failure as steps towards success

Tune in to this episode to get what you really want in your business!

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Full Episode Transcript:

Ep #278: How to Get Hard Things DONE

Hello, hello and welcome back to the show. Hey guys. I am back from Dallas. I got back last night. I spent the week there. I worked and I had the best time at the biohacking conference with Dave Asprey. It was a blast. You totally should check it out. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was going by myself. I tried to get a few clients and friends and I begged people, tried to, you know, Tried to get them there, but it didn’t work out.

So I ended up going by myself and I tell you what, I could have stayed two more days because there were so many things I didn’t get to see or do. I did go with the intention of buying. I may do on my social media. I may do an unraveling video, a live where I start unpacking the things that started coming in today.

So I did have a delivery of a few boxes. I just went in the back and began to dismantle them. And I was debating on if I would make it like a little group. Live so that you can see what’s in there, what I have come in and kind of check out the results to see how they’re working for me and decide for yourself if it’s something that you’re interested in.

I did get to ask Dave a question and that was super fun. I wasn’t even nervous. So it seems like I have finally broken through that public speaking fear, like freak out whenever I have a mic in front of me or in front of a big group. There were over 3000 people and I was super clear. I knew exactly what I wanted and I didn’t freak out.

So I think that is worth celebrating. And I hope that for you too, because you know, public speaking is the greatest fear aside from dying. Which is crazy. And all of us need to go on social media and speak publicly. If we want to have a business today, there is no way around it. Even if you’re getting referrals, if you work for someone else, they still doesn’t matter because social media is where people are going to go and check you out and decide if they want to work with you or not.

So get out there guys. So let me talk about I made up this new term last week or a week before last that was called fabricated urgency. Fabricated urgency is having to make up some kind of dire situation or circumstance that you lie to yourself about so that your brain kicks into gear and gets things done.

I did title this, if I’m not mistaken, it’s something like how to get hard things done. And I am talking about growing your business, losing the weight, whatever it is in your life. But for me specifically, it is always how to create massive impact in service, how to reach 1 million people and help them through the avenue of holistic wellness.

And that helps my brain get creative. With new ideas and I get to problem solve and that is its job. It’s this muscle that just wants to solve problems for you. It is a gift from God. I’m going to keep you alive. I’m going to help you go keep like whatever is whatever problem the environment presents.

You have this, this organ, this muscle, this thing in your head that gets it done for you. The problem is life is too easy. We’re not out having to hunt and gather in order to survive, to stay alive. You know, all of this old caveman mentality or this animalistic part of us that like that’s willing to like.

Fight and go and just get it done. We got kind of lazy. We don’t really need to fight. We’re not starving. It doesn’t matter if we do it. I’m fine like I am. So fabricated urgency is when you lie to your brain so that it gets things done that you want. Period. End of story. All right. So I made this up because my clients.

Don’t believe that they are entitled and lazy and that they have made this optional instead of a mandatory, but they have, and likely so have you. So I remember 19 years old, pregnant. I was actually 18 or 19. I think it was 19. Pregnant, sitting at the welfare office, right in front of the window where the lady was at.

I was like on the fourth chair, humiliated, ashamed, not wanting to go back to this place. And that created an urgency in me to figure out how do I not come back here? I had six months of food stamps and a welfare check and a house on HUD. So, Yeah, I was in the programs guys. Like I know what it’s like and I don’t regret.

Any of it. Now I don’t know how it would have turned out if I hadn’t got pregnant. I don’t know. I wouldn’t have qualified for resources. I don’t know where I would have ended up at, what I would have ended up doing. I have no clue. But this is the turn that my higher self or soul took. I Figured it out.

I just knew I wasn’t going back. So I do have this imprinted urgency that’s in me that some of you may not have. I remember as a kid, not having food, not having money. There were days that we, our electricity was cut off. We had a black and white TV. I do not have a senior ring. I did not get to go to prom or have senior pictures and all this cool stuff that the other kids had to do.

I didn’t get to go to the mall shopping, so I was humiliated. I humiliated. I remember having a white shirt on and sitting at the desk and being picked on because I needed a bra. I didn’t know what a damn bra was. I did not have a mother. I didn’t have that, that mama figure to help me figure this stuff out.

And so I had a lot of shame imprinted in my body. That’s trauma. Trauma is the separation from safety. So I had a lot of moments. That I was traumatized, not because I was beaten, but because of neglect. And it was actually just lack of information, incorrect data, living the poor life in a trailer house, moving from town to town, trying to figure things out.

And luckily I had a dad who took care of his kids in a way of, he didn’t let us go to the streets. So we did have a place. My grandmother did take part in that. They all just did what they could, which is a lot of your stories. Also, I’m not blaming, I’m not shaming, I’m not pointing the finger. I’m telling the story and how I became an empowered being through that story.

So what I find is happening today is many of you have not had these very hard experiences where you didn’t know where your next meal was going to come from. Where you were going to sleep at night. I remember being pregnant. I was in this car that my friend sold me for 125. It was kind of a gold color.

The reason her dad sold it is because it would leave us everywhere as we would go. So when we would go out, it would not crank. And so he got her another car and I bought this car for 125 and he let me make installments. So I want you to hear this 125 and I had to make payments, a payment plan in order to pay for that car.

I was making a dollar 50 an hour. Now I am pregnant, bringing a baby into the world. 1. 50 an hour. My car was worth 125. I had no place to call home. I didn’t know where I was going to sleep from night to night. Luckily I was a kind person and people let me stay at their house until I would overdo my welcome and then I would go to someone else’s house.

So I know what it’s like to be in the state of urgency. I can very easily fabricate this, but some of you are going to have to make things up because you’re actually not suffering and not struggling and building your business is negotiable. It’s not negotiable for me. Not because of the money, because I do have a home.

I do have a family. I do have a husband. I have friends. I have clients. So I am not in a state of urgency. So what I do is I kind of create a state of urgency, but I still fabricate urgency so that I can do the things I don’t really want to do. Doing Instagram Lives sucks. No one is there. It’s very boring. I feel like an idiot blubbering and talking to myself.

I hate it. I do it because I need to get attention. I need to hack the algorithm. I need to get things moving. And so I just kind of made a fun game out of it, which is if you come to my Instagram Live. I will connect you with other people who were there, get you to follow each other. I got a message from a friend the other day and she was like, Hey, I need more followers.

When are you doing your live? Just go do your live so I can get some followers. She I think she hit 3000 like or whatever her next number up was. So she sent me a message on that. That makes it fun. See, that’s me fabricating urgency. So for those of you who want to be in this challenge that I’m doing this month, even if you’re catching this on the replay later, you can still do it.

I am challenging my clients to get five new clients this month because we are on a mission. We have a target to hit and that target is to impact 1 million people with holistic wellness. And so I am kind of upping the ante with my clients. I’m kind of pushing them and getting them to help me. I was like, let’s go help a million people.

How many are you going to help? And so we are collecting the data of how many people we serve, that we do sessions with, that we impact, that we sign up as clients. And the goal is to get five new clients this month because we want to impact that many more people. So imagine 10 people do it, now we impact 50 people.

Now those 50 people will impact someone else. And that’s how we’re going to get this done, but we’re going to keep the data on it. So again, I’m fabricating urgency. So I’m putting myself in a game. I made up the rules and I know what the obstacles are. And I know what the ping we won. I know what that is.

And this, these are the games that I play with that thing in my head so that I can succeed. And my success for me personally is creating impact because it’s boring, boring, boring. I need something to do. I need people to play with. I love coaching. I love being in presence where there’s just spiritual guidance moving through me.

I learned so much when I’m in session. I love helping people break through belief barriers so that they can actually achieve the things that they never even dreamed were possible. I have clients this month who are brand new coaches as of December that are making 10 and 15, 000 months. I have one that went from zero.

To 7, 000 and then ended up going over 10, 000. exciting fun. So of course I’m going to fabricate because it’s going to get me doing those uncomfortable things. And those uncomfortable things are going to actually take me to the target. Do I have to do it? No, that is what’s making it harder. It was easier to do when I was on welfare because my goal was life or death.

I was like, I got to find a place to stay. I can’t have this baby out on the streets. What am I going to do? I’ve got to figure this out. Yeah. And so I had help. I had inside help from myself that was desperately seeking safety today. I’m not seeking safety. I’m pretty safe. So I’ve got to make it up. And that’s what I want to invite you to.

So think about what do you need to tell yourself? That would be the scariest thing ever. And then I want you to create the vision of overcoming it. And when you go to do something and you feel a little freaked out, you start getting nervous and emotional. You bring that story up, not to put you in negativity, but just to kick your brain out of the habit of stopping.

So what’s happening right now is many of you are feeling the discomfort, this emotional charge of shame. And you’re letting those emotions win and stop you. So I want you to come up with something that puts you into a life or death situation. Just the thing that you tell yourself so that you can really get out there and do something else.

I’ll tell you one of mine is if I don’t do it, someone else will, and I am going to be so envious, so jealous, and it’s going to piss me off. So I’ve got to do the thing that I’ve been summoned to do. If I don’t do it, someone else and I’ll be left behind. So I don’t want to be left behind. I don’t want to be the outcast.

I don’t want to be at the end of the line. I don’t want to lose. That works for me. What works for you? Maybe it is a real sense of urgency. Maybe your kids won’t eat if you don’t make the money. Maybe you will have to go back to work and you won’t be able to be an entrepreneur, a business owner, or self employed.

Maybe that is the story that you tell yourself, but are you willing to stay committed or does it make you nervous and shut you down? Our story is growing to be different. So you have to fabricate what works for you. I’m not telling you what works for me is going to work for you. I know myself better than anyone else knows me.

And I have no one in my life pushing me. I do not have a coach that pushes me or the edge. I do not have a mentor that expects more of me that they’re checking in on me. No one does what I do with my clients with me. So I have to do that. I’m not a victim of that. I’m empowered by that. I get to be in control of my own damn life and I get to go and create whatever the hell I want to create.

That is important to me. I want to do something fun and exciting and interesting. I want to bring something different into the world. I want to be uncomfortable because it’s better than boring. These are the stories that I tell myself. It’s okay to be uncomfortable. Not a big deal. Bring it with you. How can you normalize and neutralize the shame?

We’re all ashamed. We’re all ashamed. We’re ashamed of something in our life. The difference is, do you keep standing up, grabbing the mic, Delivering the message or do you sit back down and go hide in the back room and twiddle your thumbs, cross your ankles and cry like a baby? Like what do you do? It’s not, not to say that crying like a baby is like titty baby, it’s, it’s really hard to cry because it’s very uncomfortable.

It takes a lot of courage to be a crybaby. So I’m not saying that as a little pansy crybaby. I’m saying, do you just go sit there and feel sorry for yourself because you can’t figure it out? Or do you fabricate urgency so that your brain can give you the answers? Because the answers are inside of you.

There is no coach or mentor that knows better than you. We can give you opinions. We can give you history. We can give you experiences. We can look at your business with a different set of eyes. So that way you have this 360 perspective. We can deliver that for you. We can help coach you back into belief.

Those are, those things are right. But at some point you have to tap into yourself. Spiritual seeking self, you’ve got to tap into that soul driven part of you that wants to do something bigger than this meat suit and this mental game just because it’s interesting and exciting and it can change your world.

You don’t need to change the world. You just need to change your world. I am very interested in changing my world. World. I, I just came back with all these goodies from the biohacking conference. And I’m hoping you can go back and look at videos of what I looked like before and what I’m going to look like after my goal is to lose 45 pounds and look 45 and my, my body age will be 45 also.

Boom. That’s it. That’s my urgency. And what I tell myself is I’m going to look like the people at Walmart. If I don’t do this, those people scare me. Have you ever looked around the Walmart parking lot? It scares me, makes me cry and cringe. I am so afraid to become the old, sick person, the miserable person.

It scares the crap out of me. And so I fabricate that. That urgency, you need to control this, Kim. You need to get a handle on this, Kim. This is what’s going to happen if you don’t, Kim. You got to get it done. This is the stuff I tell myself. So if you want to know the secret to success, it’s being willing to fail.

You just got to get back up and you got to be willing to be uncomfortable. And then you got to lie to yourself so that you can get the thing that you don’t want to do out of the way. It’s like a three, two, one, do it. Just do it. You think it’s exciting. Like I’m like, Oh, I can’t wait to show up every week, live on video and do a podcast.

Oh my God. It’s the highlight of my week. Do you think I say that? Seriously, I look at the clock and I’m like, all right, I got 20 minutes right now. Let’s just get it done. That’s it. Maybe it could be better. Maybe it could be better quality. Maybe it can look better. Maybe I can be more professional. I don’t know.

One day, maybe I’ll be that person. Today, I’m about getting it done. I’m okay with B and C work. I’m okay with that. What are you okay with? What I’m not okay with is the F minus of not doing anything at all. That ain’t cool. That ain’t cool. It’s boring. To me, boring equals death. Because when I was a teenager and I didn’t have money, and no one was at home with me, and I was scared, and I couldn’t go anywhere, and I didn’t have a car, and I didn’t have access to Adults who could help me.

I was scared. And I was bored. That’s bored. That’s why I ended up trying to take my life. Because I was like, I don’t want to be here. I hate it here. I’m going to heaven. I’m checking out. Fuck all y’all. Bye. Bye, Felicia. And I checked out. Just didn’t work. Not even sure what I took, but it just didn’t work.

But the intention was pure. I was ready. I was like, let’s go. I Get out of here. I ain’t staying here. I’m just sitting here crossing my ankles, starving to death, and ain’t nobody No! So, that imprint is inside of me, and it is now my asset. I don’t want to get rid of that. It drives me. Why would I want to get rid of that?

I use it the same way I use all negative situations and circumstances. I turn them around. I take the problem. I create a solution. I sell the solution. And that is the basis of my business. I just gave you the recipe to 30 years of business success. You’re welcome. All right. Let me know what you are going to fabricate.

What urgency will you create so you can get over this self preservation, ego driven protection mechanism that’s keeping you bored, miserable, victim. Come on. You, there’s no way you like it. You guys complain all the time. You’re petrified. You’re afraid to do anything. What are you going to fabricate? What urgency are you going to instill in yourself that so you can do something else?

Go get the resources so that you can go and do whatever you want to do in this life. Mwah. All right. Have a good one.

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