Ep #41: Getting Honest

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with Clarity and Confidence Coach Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience, to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey guys, me again. Welcome back. I am preparing to pack up for an annual retreat that I host in Gulf Shores. We have an amazing house with a heated pool and hot tub and private beach, and people are flying in from all over the world. So exciting.

My previous coaches, current coaches and clients, all come and this is when we collaborate. So, we’ve created this really strong community online, and this is an opportunity for them all to meet in person, to brainstorm, to get some hugs, support, and to take this work deeper.

So I present the Punchline Approach, and every year that you repeat it, it takes it to a new level, because you are a new person. So, we see from different lenses, we have different perceptions, our understanding is different, and so you hear it a whole new way.

What’s so fun is, I usually read it to them and I kind of discuss, and then we do some actual practical coach work. So, it’s a combination of all of it. It truly is an integration of the actual work. And as I’m reading it, I’ve often, like, put the book down and then I’ll say something to them to explain it, and then I pick it back up and I read, and it’s exactly what I just said. It’s so funny.

I don’t know if you all know the story about when I wrote this book, but it basically just channeled through, so I knew where I was going and I got super-present, and I did some investigating work, I guess you would say, or like some outlining on how I’ve survived thus far. I came up with these really simple steps, and then I just let the rest come through me. It’s really fun to read my own writing from the outside view, and present it to the group.

So anyway, this year, we’re going to embody it on a physical level. So, we’ll go through all of the steps, we’ll do some coaching, we’ll do some live processing and integrating, and then we’re going to embody it in the physical body, through a couple of different modalities. And then, we for sure will start our mornings off with silence and with body movement, so it is yoga, I’m a yoga teacher, but it’s going to be more about embodying the work the whole entire process. So, I’m excited.

I am packing, preparing, got my mind lined up, and then when I leave there, I stay the week at the beach, and then I am heading to Atlanta for a retreat with Elizabeth Gilbert, Gabby Bernstein, Joe Dispenza, and quite a few other amazing people. So, my next two weeks are going to be filled, to the rim, with awesomeness. I’m so fired up.

My plan is to have an amazing experience, integrating the work of the masters, and all of the work with my coaches and clients, as they come together. It’s going to be a celebratory end of the year, in my opinion. That’s what I’m expecting.

Anyway, let’s get started. Today, I want to talk about getting honest. So for you coaches, healers, leaders, teachers, entrepreneurs, I have a couple of questions for you. How much money have you made so far this year? How many clients do you have now? How many clients have you coached this year? Where did they come from? How many are repeat clients? How much money have you made with repeat business or with repeat clients? And, how much is new money with new clients? How many of your clients have been referred by someone else? How many of the clients came through authentic marketing, like just meeting someone somewhere?

Ask yourself these questions and write it all down. Because I’ve been talking to a few of my coaches and clients, and also, I’ve done a few consultations, and these are the questions that most people cannot answer. Like, I know why, because I was much here myself. And it is about not wanting to see; not wanting to get honest, not wanting to look at the numbers, because you may want to see something here about your beliefs.

So, I think it’s very interesting when I’m asking them, like, “How many clients do you have right now? How much money are you making?” So that I can get an idea of how I teach them how to price their packages, and how to bring their programs together according to what their specialty is, and where their clientele is right now.

I always think it’s super interesting that they’re not sure. And I was like, “Well, how much did you make last year?” And it’s, “I’m not sure.” “Okay, let’s just break this down. How much money have you made this month?” “Well, I need to add it up.” So, things like this are indicators, and that’s it. It’s not like saying, “Oh, my God, you’re doing something wrong. You should close your business and everything is terrible.” It’s not that at all.

This is really about awareness, and noticing where you are avoiding reality, where you are avoiding truth. What’s happening is, when you do this, you’re not really clear about what your beliefs are. But not just that; it prevents you from having a tangible plan moving forward, because you don’t really know where the clients came from that you have right now.

And that’s very important, because you want to know what is working, so you can turn the dial up on it. And you want to know what’s not working, so you can either retest it or try a different approach. But either way, you try something, and then you measure the results. Once you measure the results, then you self-correct, autocorrect or self-adjust. Does that make sense?

 But if you never measure the results, then you’re just kind of spitting in the wind and seeing where it lands. This can be very dangerous for your business. And it’s actually more along the lines of the amateur, right? It’s like, “Well, I may get lucky and make a few bucks, and then I won’t have to go back to my 9-to-5 job. If I can just pull it off and get me three or four clients, that will take me through the end of the year.”

This kind of thinking is very, very dangerous, because you’re not actually recognizing the thoughts that are creating your results. And so I want to bring that to your awareness in this particular show.

So, like I did this in my business very early on, I’m remembering when I first opened my first little nail and tanning place. My goal was, like how can I make back $3,000 in order, like, just not to fall on my face? Like, how can I bring back the minimum? That that way I don’t reach too far, and now my plans are not too big, and then I’m pretty much kind of guaranteed to fail, because I could figure out how to work my butt off for $3,000, that kind of thinking.

And I remember doing it every single time I added on. When I got to the part about, like I ended up bringing in hair and a couple of tanning beds and, you know, I kind of stayed with that, then I moved into the wellness arena and I brought in ladies’ fitness, and I remember specifically trying to figure out like how to make $50,000 or $60,000, just to make sure I didn’t lose.

And this was truly my thought. Like, “Well, if at least I can do it long enough to get it paid for, then I’ll just have it to use.” Like, I was already setting myself up for coming out even or failing. But I didn’t know it, because I didn’t understand how my thoughts were creating my results back then. But I can so clearly, because I spent a lot of time freaking out every time I added on, so I can now so clearly see where I truly set the business up for the exact results I got.

And so if you are doing this early on in your business, and you can recognize it, then you can turn it around, and notice, what’s the thought that’s driving your current business model right now? And so, what have you charged in your business since January of this year, or in the last six months? Like, you can just start with anything simple like that. You can say for the entire year, you can say for the month, or you can say for six months. Whatever it takes for you to sit down and find the courage to first look. That’s where you start.

So, what I’m noticing is, they’re not even sure where to go and look up that information. And I remember this, because I have like a local business and I have my coaching business, and so I’ve had to really be diligent about keeping it separate, you know, and having my coaching money coming in through PayPal and having my local money come in through the door, you know, in a different, so that my numbers add up.

That’s one of the common, most common mistakes that I see is, not being willing to see truth. Because it’s going to bust the theory, bust a hole in your theory of belief, right? And, because you don’t want to see it, you never look at it, you never write it down, so that way you think if you’re not aware of it, it doesn’t exist.

But here’s the truth. It does exist, and it is real. It’s just that you are denying it, you’re avoiding it, but it doesn’t make it not true. People do this all the time with their emotions. They feel like things are really sucky, but they never really feel the suck and instead, they indulge in the feeling sucky, instead of staying with the process and allowing it to integrate, to release, and then to come out from under the water, right?

And so not wanting to see it is going to keep you in it. The willingness to take a look and get honest, then you can self-correct, you can switch things around.

So, what is your goal? What do you need to feel and think, or think and feel, in order to take the action to get you those results? Write that down, keep it separate.

Once you take the action, and you’ve got to do the action more than once, guys, so it’s not, “I’m going to put a post” or “I’m going to make one offer” or ‘I’m going to tell my mom and sister who’s from whatever, because she has a lot of friends.” Like, that’s not it. You have to do that a bunch of times.

So once you find the aligned action, and you take it several times, like at least 30 days, 60 days, maybe even 90 days, and you have to do it consistently. Once you do it for 30 days, test your results. What were the results at the end of those 30 days? And then, you can adjust, you can correct, you can move them around, and you can try something. You just kind of tweak it, try something a little different, and do it again consistently for 30 days.

The word consistently is the key. And then again, you want to test the results. How did that go? What worked, what didn’t? What can I do differently? And then you’ll adjust again. And so you could do this for months, for years, right? You will be getting some results in the meantime.

Now, once you find what works, you keep doing that, but you have to stay looking at the results. That’s why it’s so important to get honest and notice where you are right now. Where are you starting? If you’re not aware of this, and you’re not doing it, you’re possibly going to be undercharging, overworking, spinning in misery, and “stuckness”, and you’re not going to be conscious of it. You’re going to have bitterly just been running the story, spinning in it, and not know why you’re miserable.

And then you will say things like, “This sucks. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. If I knew how, I would do it, I don’t know. No one tells me. I’m not sure. If I knew for certain, I would do it for 30 days, I would do it for 60 days”.

So I want to assure you, there is no certain of what will work for you. The only certainty is to test your own theory, to go with your gut, and to be consistent. Because here’s what a lot of you do, including me. You look for the mentor or the coach who’s doing it and who is succeeding, or partially succeeding, or looks like what you think yours should look like, whatever judgment comparison you’re using, and you try to do exactly what they are doing in their business, in your business.

But that’s kind of like comparing labor. Have you ever really heard labor stories? Guys, everyone has a story about every single kid that was born, so look out if you’re talking to somebody with 8 or 10 kids. You cannot compare your labor, just like you cannot compare your business.

You know what else? Hurricanes. The Weather Channel does this with hurricanes. “Oh, here it comes. We see it coming in. It could be a hurricane! Oh, it’s just a disturbance. Oh, it’s a tropical storm. Oh, it’s just like Rita! It’s just like Andrew! Remember back in 1916? It happened with…” Like, this is the stuff. This is what we entertain our minds with? None of it is legit, it is all drama, and it has nothing to do with your business and your results, and the action that you take when you’re feeling that way.

That is what is responsible for your results. Not what happened with Hurricane Audrey or Rita or Susie’s second child or Lisa’s fifth child or whoever when they were in labor, and trying to base your theory, your story, your life, your next step on that. It’s insanity.

So what I want to offer you today, get honest, get present, become aware of your current results. Write it down. Ask yourself, what are you doing to get these exact results? Is it working? How do I feel when I’m taking this action? Mm, maybe I’m feeling fearful and I’m acting like I’m feeling confident, right? These are all things to test out your theory.

It’s questions that you want to become aware of, so that you know how to get your results. Because that other person doesn’t know how you can get the results for your business, because they don’t know your business the way you do. They don’t know their clients the way you do.

All you know is that they have succeeded. So the meteorologists who tracked Audrey in 19-whatever, that story carried on, carried on, carried on, and we’re still talking about it today. Like, “Oh, when it came in here and it turned there, and then went that way.”

But the winds were different, just like the people are different today, right? The temperature was different, just like your niche is different. The problems of the world are different. And it’s the same thing with these hurricanes, and it’s the same thing with these new babies coming in. Well, that one weighed 6 lb 2 oz, and this one was three weeks early, and this one was…

Like, do you see what I’m saying? Like, there’s no way that you can take someone else’s business and create that exact business, because you are not the same person. Your clients are not the same person. The problems are not the same. Your experience is not the same. Your training is not the same. Your energy is not the same. Your beliefs are not the same. You talk differently, right? You show up in a different way. We might all have the same truth, and we might be teaching the same theories, but we have a specific way that we teach it, that is understood with certain people, so we attract different tribes.

All right, hope that was not confusing. Here’s the last thing I want to say about this. Facebook, retreats, Instagram, someone else’s community, whatever, is not responsible for your clients. Social media does not produce clients. Social media does not produce revenue. Retreats are going to distract you. Do not think that you can have an event and that you’re going to pull clients from that event, because your focus and attention is going to have to go to fill up the event, and it’s going to take away from you signing up your clients.

I know your brain thinks I’m wrong. Would you be willing to consider that I could be right? I’ve been doing retreats for many years. I consider myself an expert at it. I’ve taught many coaches how to have retreats. I’ve taught clients how to have retreats. I use retreats as an experience in my business. These clients who are coming to retreat are already paid clients, are trained coaches.

The retreat is an event that I offer for collaboration and community, and to grow this conscious-cultured community that I want to live in, to survive in, to be a part of. So, if you think the retreat is the revenue, you’re highly mistaken. I see this all the time. The successful retreats are the events that bring the clients together, so be very careful how that’s going to sneak in.

And the same thing with, this is another thing I asked my coaches. What are you doing this week to attract your clients? Well, “I posted up on Facebook. I put that, nobody… it’s like crickets, like it’s not working!” Right? That’s the thought. I put it on Instagram, I put it in LinkedIn, I put in, you know, just wherever. It’s almost as if these platforms are like a Coke machine. Like you’re supposed to put the post, and they’re supposed to deliver you a pop.

That’s not how it works. They are the medium in order for you to show up on, right? They are the platform where people can find you, where there are just millions of people, and you’re able to reach a bigger audience than your local community. It’s a platform for you to share. It’s not a Coke machine. It’s not something that you put something in and it gives it out.

Now, once you have your niche narrowed in and you’re doing, like, ads, then yes, it kind of sort of is a Coke machine, because the more money you pay, the more people that see it, the more people who come.

But if you’re just starting off in your business and you haven’t really developed your system yet, like you don’t have a specific — like I have a five-step structure, I have a book, I have a coach training, you know, I have a resource, I have – and I still haven’t scaled to where I want to go. I haven’t even figured that out yet.

Because right now, I’m still, I have my platform, I have my clients, I have my theory. I’m actually teaching it to them, and they’re teaching their approach to their clients, and I got hung up in that Facebook ads thing, for quite a while. I’m not going to say that it was a wrong or a bad experience. It’s just that I notice now why.

It was because of my thoughts, and it’s because of my expectations, but I saw where I was actually using it, kind of like to be the drama, to be the thing that kept me distracted, instead of doing the thing that I don’t like to do. I was basically, like, throwing my money at the problem and expecting it to clear up in the process, and then me get the results. And that’s never going to happen. And luckily, I see it, and now I can teach you about it.

So you’ve got to be willing to look, so that you can become aware. That’s going to require presence, so you’re going to have to manage your emotions while you’re pulling up these numbers. You’re going to have to stay present. Do not get up and go get Oreos or chips. I want you to stay with it, no matter how long it takes.

Pull up your PayPal account, pull up your bank balance, pull up your money bag, whatever you’re using, write down every single client from the last, let’s just use six months or 12 months. Every single client, how much each one paid you. Where did they come from? Was it a referral? Was it a Facebook ad? Was it a neighbor? Was it someone you met at the post office? Like, where did every client come from? Were they repeat clients? How many of them repeated? Put a little checkmark on the side of those, if they stayed with you past the first three months, six months, whatever it was.

And for those guys listening who are doing one-off sessions, please stop. You cannot help clients in one session. I, this is one of the first things I teach my coaches in the training. In order to create a viable business, you have to develop your system, you have to know what you’re teaching these guys, and you have to give them transformation. Otherwise, these one-off sessions, they’re just going to come to you when they’re in a bind and when they’re needy, and when they just want you to get them out of it, but you never going to get below the surface, because there’s not enough time. So just take my advice on that one.

I don’t often give advice, but I have to tell you, that is the thing I stayed stuck in the most. And it’s a scarcity issue. Because, you don’t see the value and how long it’s going to take for your client to actually get the transformation and you’re coming from a space of “It’s better than nothing. I need to get what I can. They won’t pay me that.” That’s all scarcity mentality.

All right, so, make your list. How many clients do you have, how much money did you make, where did they come from, did they repeat, did they stay with you? And now you have something to see like, where are you at now? And then you can start running your system from there. But the first thing, your homework for today, just for listening to this, is to be aware of where you are right now, to get really honest with yourself so that you can assess your own circumstances.

Don’t look at someone else’s. Do not go on Facebook and find out how someone else did it and how many clients they have and how many people are in their group. Do not go there. You don’t know all the details. You don’t know how many of those are paid. You don’t know how many of those are pro bono. You don’t know how many are repeat. You cannot judge from that. It’s only going to hurt you.

Know your own numbers. How many of these are free clients? How many are practice clients? How many are there just because you’re getting a review from them, or you’re getting some sort of incentive? Or, maybe they’re a trade-off client. You have to look at this, guys. You cannot count that and not count the whole story.

Okay, so do that, get present. This is what it’s going to take to create consciousness in your business. And in order to grow, it’s going to require you being conscious, because you have to know how you got the clients who paid, so that you can get some more clients who paid, and you have to know what’s not working so you can quit doing it.

In other words, don’t stay putting your money out and putting those Facebook ads out, if they’re not producing the results that you want. So what if they give you 1,200 people on your email list, and none of them ever answer you or they don’t show up for consultations? That means nothing. It just means that you’ve created a lot of drama and trouble, so you’ve got to be really conscious of the results that matter.

Next week, I’m going to tell you four simple steps to building your business. All right, until then, get your homework done. You can find me in the Integrative Life Facebook group if you want to come and let me know what your results are. And, share this with a friend, if you know someone who is just like you, kind of in this failure to launch part of their business, where the rocket keeps going up and falling back down, going up, falling back down, kind of like falling flat on your face, and you’re not quite sure what’s happening, but you’ve never really looked at the numbers. You’ve never looked at the bottom line. You’ve never done your own assessment. You’ve not gotten real and honest with yourself.

You will do me a favor. This is kind of like decluttering your closet or your drawers or the pantry. Once you do it and you have a clear vision, you’re going to feel so relieved. You’re going to feel liberated from all of that busy-ness spinning around in your mind that you’ve been trying to avoid. And you’ll be able to process the emotions and the fear and doubt that come up with all of this.

Let that go, then start fresh, but start with a clear picture, so you know where you’re going. It’s kind of like getting on the highway without having any idea if you’re going left or right, right? You’ve got to know where you’re going, so that you can know which way to go.

All right, until next week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset. If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to health, wealth and relationships, head over to www.portal.kimguillory.com to learn more about the portal. It’s a membership community where we take this work deeper, apply the concepts, and coach around the tough stuff.