#187: Growing Pains Full Transcript
Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Hey and to welcome back to the More Than Mindset show, I am just returning from a business workshop in lake Charles, Louisiana, which we found out while we were there was the two-year anniversary of hurricane Laura which basically almost completely destroyed them two years ago. So, it was very interesting to be summoned to service.
It was really beautiful to help rebuild something that’s been basically destroyed, you know, and it was a bit humbling. We were talking to Kelly, who’s the owner of Edgemont Healing Center and she said, what are the chances, right? How coincidental, but guys, you know, there’s no coincidences when we are following the flow, we will be led exactly where we need to be at exactly the right time that we need to be there.
So, we served around 30 yelling, focused entrepreneurs. We talked about limiting beliefs, conditioning, religious dogma. All of the reasons that they aren’t making the money and having the success that they would like to have. We talked about growing pains, which is what this show is going to be about. How does fear and doubt show up?
In your life, in your body and how we often take that as a sign to quit, or things are too hard, or it must not be meant to be. And we turn that information against us. And I want to talk about that today. What are growing pains? How do they show up and what do we do about it? So, hold on tight, get your paper and pen and prepare.
Growing pains can look like physical ailments, chronic sinus, bladder infections, knee, or foot pain. We talked a lot about POF fasciitis and how doubts and fears show up in our lower back, neck and shoulders, foot, knees ankles, and hips. Matter of fact, as we expand into this new territory, for myself, growing as an organization, as a company, rather than growing as an individual, I’m going from solopreneur to having a team.
And I am feeling it. I’m feeling it in my hips. I feel some twinges in my lower back. Can we really pull this off? All of the things that you think, and you’re afraid of. My mind presents to me also, guys, you’re not a unicorn and neither am I. Matter of fact, we’re very much alike.
The difference is the belief and the tenacity and the strength of the desire to keep pushing forward between someone who does and someone who doesn’t is really the vision, and these growing pains, we get to decide how we want to interpret.
And my understanding is that it is produced from this resistance between the mind and the brain. And it’s meant to protect you. And it shows up in the physical body, in the physical world. And depending on our perception, our belief, we use that information. I want to suggest that you use the data. As a way of moving forward, instead of evidence that you should stop.
It’s just a little tweak. It’s a way to reframe so that you can pivot. So physical ailments are probably the number one reason that we come across. I talk about this cycle of transformation, and I bring up all of these things that I’m going to talk about today in that. It looks like you make this decision that you want to offer this service, or you want to open this business, or you want to provide this certain thing.
And once you make the decision and you invest, and then you come up with the plan or you hire the person to help you, or you rent the building or you do the branding, whatever that looks like right after that. Once you’re all the way in that’s the part that that’s the growing pain right there. Once you’re all the way in, then there’s this moment.
in time where the doubt comes up, the fear comes up the, um, like anxiety, pressure, stress, like all of the things start manifesting in the physical body, in your meat suit. Sometimes it looks like a rash. Sometimes it’s something going on with the ear or the eyes or your hair falling out. Or I’m not saying this to try to scare you.
I’m saying this so that you’ll be aware, and you’ll recognize that it’s really just awareness. Once you recognize it and you reclaim safety, it will release …not kidding. We’re talking about this with the massage therapist. It’s like, it actually does not take some of the things that we do in massage in order to break free, it could be very subtle, very light, very easy touch that can release just by bringing this awareness to the mind and then the body will follow.
I personally experienced many physical ailments and I have helped so many clients with this. My clients are the interrupters, the game-changers, the cycle breakers … benders. They are the ones who are standing in the gap of transformation and change, so that the generation behind them does not have to experience it themselves.
And so, they’re pretty much risk takers and dare devils, and that takes a lot of courage to be them, to be me … to be us. And maybe even you. I might be speaking to you, and it’s one thing getting your mind on board, but when your nervous system responds and then you got to get your body on board that is quite another thing, because sometimes there’s pain and it’s physically challenging to go beyond, right?
And then all of the anxiety follows and then all of the “what’s going to happen to me, and what if I can’t pay my bills and what if we fail?” And all of that keeps the cycle going. So, that’s one way it shows up is as physical ailments, another way is relationships.
So, when you have this vision and this commitment, and you’re all-in, those other people in your life don’t necessarily have that same passion and vision and drive and understanding, and it can often show up like resistance, not getting along, them accusing, and you accusing back … “You’re making trouble, you don’t understand. I’m trying to work … you think I’m at home playing.”
This conversation going back and forth, and I’ll even tell my husband this. And accusing him of not supporting me or not believing enough … we had this conversation last week.
You know, and it’s not their responsibility, guys to believe in you, it’s yours. It is your responsibility to take on your belief, your commitment, your tenacity, your loyalty, your drive to go all the way to the finish line. It shouldn’t matter if they’re standing on the sideline cheering you on or telling you off. We just use those as ammunition, depending on what we want to hear.
So, I had quite a few years of this, where I expected the cheerleading and the being understood and them being on my side. But the truth is they don’t, it’s not their drive. It’s not their passion. It’s not their agenda. It’s mine. And it’s my job to represent and support myself, not theirs. And as soon as I let that go and I took the pressure off, my relationships are so much better because they’re pure. They’re not based on this illusion of how we should be supported or what they should be saying or what we consider support, you know?
People will look at me like, “what do you mean he doesn’t support you? Of course, he supports you, right?” But I have these stories inside of myself also, just like you do. The mind is always playing games and projecting things, you know, and it’s really easy to get caught up in it whenever you’re feeling the pressure and the fear.
I have a lot of clients who are depending on eSchool, on Self-Help Masters, on my Integrative Coach Training. They’re depending on it, because they’re all-in and I’m depending on my mentors, because I’m all in. And so, there’s a lot of added heat and added pressure. And one of the other ways that I see this show up is as imposter syndrome, which is a lack of confidence.
And this is where you really get to face … “am I worthy of success? Why me,” right? So, the dissonance is why not me? I really want it. And then the opposite is why me, like, do I even deserve it? And so, it’s this unworthiness and that’s the deeper part to all of this is — all of us humans have this temptation to feel unworthy, whether it’s through experience or just the human condition itself.
And the imposter syndrome, it’s probably the most powerful thing. The doubt that comes up in the stories that you tell yourself, because the lack of confidence, the situations will be attracted to you because you believe it. So that one is really, really tricky.
And the fourth way that growing pains show up is financially. the craziest thing, is to break through scarcity, you have to invest. That made no sense to me whatsoever because it requires so much trust and confidence in yourself in order to invest beyond your means.
And it works. Go figure. For me to break through my money mindset and my limiting beliefs, and I’ve told the story in here before about the first time I invested $6,000 in a 10-week program. I thought I would die. I mean, it was, I can’t even tell you all of the things that came up, but it was the best investment of my career … of my life, because I challenged myself beyond what even I could afford.
And the only way I could make it back is if I got it, like I had to understand it in order to make the money back, I had to break through. So, I had to believe in myself, in others, in a process so much more than if I would’ve had the money, because I went into debt to change it. That’s called good debt.
When you use debt to grow yourself, that is good debt using debt, using a credit card to buy little one-time things, or like luscious meals or like those cute shoes or that $200 belt. To me, that’s crappy debt. I don’t go for that, but I will invest in myself and my personal growth all day.
I believe in myself, and I believe if I have the right tools that I will improve and that I’ll have a return on investments. And I’ve used that strategy since I was in my twenties, and it’s always worked for me. It’s always worked.
So those are the growing pains that you will experience. When you make a decision to do something bigger than yourself.
When you make the decision to grow to up level, you will see it show up in the physical body. Different conditions, pain, ailments, diagnoses. You will see it show up in your relationship. It will be challenged because you’re on a different frequency because you are growing, and they may not be. Because you’re, you’re up leveling, and they may not be getting the same.
I’ll call them lessons as you are the same experiences as you are. Maybe they don’t have the same fear of investment that you do, or they’re not invested emotionally, physically, and financially invested as you are. So, you’ll see this happen with a lot of friendships that you start. Let’s say coach training together and you’re doing peer coaching.
And then one says, I’ve had enough with this, I’m ready to break through. And then they go into a higher investment bracket, and they start learning new things and then the frequency changes, the conversations change, and you don’t want to lose the relationship, so you start selling and negotiating. This happens with partnerships, with your spouses, with your children.
Oh my gosh, with your parents, for sure. Because when we look at each other, we look the same, but then you don’t act the same and it’s very confusing. So that is about the frequencies changing. And the imposter syndrome is just a lack of confidence, unworthiness, limiting, beliefs that come up that will challenge you.
So, this week, I’m just going to offer you to notice if you are wanting to invest, wanting to uplevel, wanting to change something in your life. And when you make that decision and notice that some of these things come up, that it’s okay. It’s supposed to be happening. It’s completely normal.
This is what we mean by the mind-body disconnection. And this is what integrative mind-body coaching is all about. It’s bringing all aspects of yourself on board, the way you think, the way you feel, the way you show up physically, spiritually.
It’s bringing all of it together and having this understanding of what’s creating the dissonance or the disconnection to start off with, and realizing that we’ll call it trauma, which is just a separation from safety, is what is triggering these responses.
So, there is an aspect or a part of you, and it could be from an upbringing. It could be from a belief. It could be from a friend that’s in your circle. It could be from your parents. Or like I said, your partner where they’re saying one thing, you’re trying to believe something else, but you don’t fully believe it yet.
And then the body brings up these red flags, these signs you’re in danger, go, get out. You’re not safe, and that’s where it all comes up, and that’s where the anxiety and stress is. And when you have that going on in your nervous system, and you’re pulling out your credit card or you’re investing your last dollar, it’s a lot.
So, we talk about this in the More Than Mindset Facebook Group. We talk about it at retreat, at the Grow Your Business workshops. And you’ve heard it here on the show several times with different examples. And I have an entire series that’s called The Better Believing Series, where I have 12 to 15 clients who are working through this, and they share their story.
So, if you want to hear some of those stories, you are welcome to send an email or come into the More the Mindset Group and say “I would like access to The Better Believing Series, and I will be happy to get that for you.
Alright, my friends have an amazing week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.