Ep #274 How to Handle Challenges to Reach Your Goals

This episode of More Than Mindset explores the concept of ‘mishandlement’ – a term I invented to describe not fully handling situations, emotions, tasks, or relationships, leading to lack of control and failure to achieve goals.

I’ll give you a few examples to demonstrate like dieting, business strategy, and personal relationships.

What You’ll Learn:

  • how mishandling or not handling issues properly can derail plans for success. 

  •  the importance of recognizing and taking responsibility for mishandlements in various aspects of life.

  •  how addressing and handling your situations will help you achieve your goals in career, health, relationships, and personal growth.

Tune in to this episode of More Than Mindset so you can overcome your challenges and reach your goals!

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Full Episode Transcript:

Ep #274: How to Handle Challenges to Reach Your Goals

Hey there and welcome back to the show. Trying not to scream right now because there’s a massage going on next door and there’s just one thin wall between it. So I was getting all excited about today’s topic and I wanted to do a little bit of yelling. So I made up a new word, which is actually just part of a word that I just made it my way, which is mishandlement.

So mishandled is a word, but mishandlement is the result of, or the act of. So today I’m going to be talking about how to win more, and I’m going to tie it back into handling, handling yourself, handling life and handling situations. So kind of giving you the punchline at the beginning. But I wanted to give you a little bit of understanding before I dove in, which is what I’m going to do right now.

So I have been playing with this word handle for myself personally. And also some things that were going on in the business handle is to deal with, right? So I think of like handling clay is like using your hands to mold or to control or to create something. So think about handling your emotions or handling your business, handling your relationships, handling your Body.

So in last week’s episode, I talked about mind, body, life mastery, and that leads right into this. What is the reason that you have not mastered whatever that goal is that you want to achieve? And I believe that it has to do with the inability to handle something all the way through. So think about in relationships.

When I use the word handle, like you need to handle that situation so that we can move forward in this relationship. So let’s just imagine there are two people and one person has a drinking problem or a drug problem. And the other person. Like wants them to stop doing that because it is interfering with the quality of the relationship.

But the person who is over drinking or drugging or whatever it is doing the thing, they can’t stop doing it. So it’s not that they don’t love the other person or they don’t want to be in the relationship. It’s that they haven’t handled . They haven’t gotten a handle on the drinking.

They’re not controlling. They are reacting instead. So you can think of handling or reacting instead of handling being responding. Is this making sense? So when I use the word mishandlement, It is the result of handling something either inaccurately or not to completion. So I had a situation that I would say was handled, but it was handled to the degree That I could handle it in that moment, meaning later, I realized it could have been handled better.

If I’m making sense, it could have been handled better. So mishandlement is, it was mishandled and the result is, It was not fully handled, which means I am not in control. The situation has not been controlled. So let’s go back to the relationship example. And that person didn’t drink that day. But they didn’t get the help that they needed and now they’re like drinking again, but they’re hiding it.

They’re like, I handled it. I didn’t drink it all yesterday. I already handled that. But we would call it a mishandlement because they were drinking again today. Makes sense. And their, and their idea might be, well, I only drank one beer. Like I usually drink a 12 pack. I only drank one beer. So I am handling myself like I’m handling it.

But the problem is the drinking has control of the person. The person doesn’t have control of the drinking. So mishandlement is the ability to follow through with the thing being handled so that you can get the full results. That was a long teaching lesson, that was the intro of this. So now I’m going to get into the context.

So if you want to achieve your goals, get more clients, grow your business, take off 50 pounds, get healthy and fit, improve your relationships. There are some things that need to be handled so that you have the ability to fully do that. So what will happen on the path or the growth cycle, let’s say you’ve decided to lose 30 pounds and you have a diet plan, you have support, you have a coach, you’ve gone grocery shopping, you’ve got everything going in your favor, Your calendar is marked off.

You’re waking up with the sun. You’re journaling. You are exercising. You’re drinking plenty of water. You know what time you’re going to bed because you know that rest is part of the equation. You’re doing all of those things and you’re moving through the day and something happens at about 1130. Someone says something that triggers you And all of a sudden you have this ravenous appetite.

You’ve got these emotions that you cannot handle. Like your emotions are bigger than you in the moment and you’re not sure what to do. And so you just grab a bag of chips and you just check out from the plan of the day, which was already set up for your success. You had everything laid out. You had every reason to win and succeed that day, but this one incident went unhandled and the results of that mishandle it or mishandled or that not handling.

Is your emotions getting bigger than you, which is the reactive mind that is like painting this picture that your body is creating a sensation to. And now you’re pissed or you’re sad or you’re annoyed, you’re aggravated and you’re no longer in control. You lost control because you didn’t handle the situation when it came up and now you blow your plan.

So now you’re overeating and then you are, your meditation and your mindfulness and your whole morning routine is out the window and you are in the throes of chaos and confusion and disorganization. So the new result is I blew it. So how many of you can relate to that? How many times has this happened to you where you set your schedule,

you had everything mapped out. You knew exactly what to do. You prepared your meals or you, if we’re talking about business, maybe you prepared your marketing plan. You had your sales script written out. You were going to do a presentation. I probably shouldn’t hop and skip between topics, but. For those who are listening.

I know you can relate to all of it because most of us have created some kind of goal in our personal life and also in our financial life. So use the one that relates to you in this moment. I’m going to go back to the food part and you knew you wanted to lose 30 pounds. You created the math and the path in order to do that.

You’re like, I’m going to do this certain meal plan. I’m going to drink water. I’m going to sleep at night. I’m going to exercise. I’m going to wake up before the sun. I’m going to get my mindset straight and I’m going to set myself up for success by creating accountability and community. All of those things.

Beautiful. Amazing. You are on your way to success. You put it in your calendar, you wake up in the morning, you do it, and then life happens. Something happens. Someone says something. Someone does something. Maybe a part of your body hurts. Maybe you throw your back out. Maybe you twist your ankle, but something happens.

So I want you just to take a minute to consider what is the thing that most often happens? Guys, if you get into this stuff and you really want to like dig in and find out what’s creating this and what’s stopping you, you, you really should come into one of my programs, especially the VIP one, because we do this every single day.

And it’s fascinating whenever you’re in a community that has this understanding and it just makes it so much clearer for you. And as soon as the mishap happens. You have the support and you have the process so that the thing that happens at 11 o’clock doesn’t ruin your whole day. Instead, you know exactly what to do in that moment.

You handle it and then you move on and then your result is success. So yes, that’s a pitch. I wanted you to hear that. I wanted you to be pitched to because I want to help you. And if I don’t pitch you or make an offer or tell you about what’s available, I’m not helping you. For today’s show, I want you to make a list

of things that have not been handled or where there is mishandlement happening in your life. Now, I’m going to give you a couple of examples so that you can consider this beyond just like diet or relationship. I want you to think about the last week. What came up that you did not deal with right then and there or that day?

You know, there’s thoughts that come into your head, Oh, you need to make a dental appointment. Oh, you need to reschedule that thing that you were going to go do. Oh, you need to call the hotel. This is mine. You need to call the hotel and get that thing that you left sent to you. I noticed this this morning while I’m brushing my teeth.

As you know, those are my moments of enlightenment when I brush my teeth. And every morning since I’ve gone to GrowthCon, so it’s been a little over a month, I left something at the hotel. And I know I left it there, and I just needed to call and say, Hey, can you mail that to me? But there’s something in my mind that is not being handled.

And that is a crazy thought that says, I don’t have time for this. They’re going to put me on hold. It’s going to take forever that those thoughts are actually stopping me from handling that. Now I’ve already like decided I’m just going to buy the thing again. It’s not that important. I’ve already gone back to Miami two, maybe three times where I could have actually gone in and picked it up.

But again, mishandled. I didn’t handle it. Got it. Do you see what I’m saying? It’s these little sneaky examples, like maybe it’s a cup that’s left in your car and your hands were full when you got out, so you left the cup. You didn’t go back and get it and throw it in the trash. Mishandlement. It was not handled.

The cycle wasn’t complete. You didn’t finish. And the reason why this is important is it’s getting in the way of what you want. So let’s go back to the example of you had the meal plan all prepped out. You knew what time you were going to do everything. You got up before the sun, you journaled, you were feeling amazing before the person said the thing that triggered you, that pissed you off, that got you out of your plan.

Now, right now in this moment, you are the victim of that circumstance. There is a perpetrator. There is something that happened or someone that said something and you are out of control. You, there’s like this manipulation going on. Your focus is somewhere else. You’re no longer driven to the target. Okay?

So you are the victim. You’re not the victor of a great day, of the target, of the goal, of the 30 pounds, of the process. So you are the victim. the only reason you can remain the victim is if you don’t handle the circumstance. If you don’t handle the situation. Now listen, handling the situation might just be handling it with yourself.

It might not have anything to do with the other person. Now sometimes it does. So If you were in the group, then I would teach this to you and I would show you and then you would, you would be able to understand it better. But for the case of this podcast or this show and me being able to just use examples, cause I’m not talking to a specific person.

I’m going to just give you a few general ideas. Another example of this is there was a comment made the last time you were with a friend and it hurt your feelings. And you didn’t tell them that, you just brushed it off. You kind of like ejected, acted like it didn’t happen, but it unsold you in some way.

So maybe it was a comment about what you were wearing or something about, it looks like you put on weight or you don’t look happy today. Anything like that. Any kind of suggestion that you brushed off, but didn’t realize that it actually created a bigger impact. Continues with the, you through the day. So it’s like you’re sitting with the friend until you handle it.

It’s like the friend just keeps saying it over and over and over and over. And this can go on for days, for years, decades, like if you don’t handle it. So either you take it up with yourself or you can take it up with the friend. That does not mean telling them off or doing anything rude. It’s really just understanding and respecting the process so that it’s for the betterment of all.

So you’ll know that something needs to be handled if it is affecting yourself and other people. So you not losing the 30 pounds. Who is that affecting besides you? Like is it the way that you behave with your partner, with your children? Does it stop you from going out to more places? Like let’s just say what impact is that 30 extra 30 pounds having on your social life, on your financial life, your personal life, your physical life?

Is it preventing you from being more? Is it stopping you? Like, let’s say it’s impacting your confidence. And so you’re not willing to go live. You don’t want to go to that wedding. You don’t want to make that offer because you’re having negative thoughts about yourself. Like, that’s how deeply it bleeds into this.

And so when you don’t handle things, it’s just It creates a bunch of roadblocks in the way of where you’re going. So let’s say the goal is here and you have the math and the path and you’re moving forward, you’re feeling great, you’re doing everything and then boom, somebody says something or does something.

I mean, it could be as simple as your jeans were tight that day, the scale went up two pounds. It doesn’t necessarily involve another person. It involves a situation, a circumstance, something that happens. In that moment, you slip back or you backslide and you go into maybe the negativity. You’re not so confident.

You’re not sure. You’re like, what the hell? It takes too long. I’m not doing this. It’s not working. Whatever the conversation is that comes up that you don’t handle. And that’s the key word. You. You don’t handle it. No one else has to do this for you. It’s everything to do with you, you managing, you being in control, you handling.

If you handle it right here at 11 o’clock, boom, boom, boom, boom. You keep moving. You keep moving. You keep, Oh, there it is again. Nine o’clock that night you get a text and there’s another trigger. There’s another roadblock, there’s another thing and you’re like, Oh, I don’t want to deal with this. I’m tired.

I’m just going to go to bed. I’ll text them tomorrow. Well, just so you know, that is still happening inside of you. It’s like you’re hearing it over and over and it’s getting stronger and stronger. So don’t you think it’s best to handle something in the moment? So it has less air time. And let’s just say in that one that you did handle, you’re like, Oh, I realized what’s happening because now I’m aware I’m going to handle this so that I can sleep.

I’m going to handle this so that I have a better night so that I get my morning started. So I’m going to get ahead of this. Let’s say you handle it. Whether it’s with yourself or with the other person, you handle it, and then you wake up the next morning, and you go, and you go, and then the next, and then the next, and then, oh, day three, and you remember, oh, the last time I didn’t handle it, it really set me back, and you handle it again, and look, look how close you’re getting to the goal now.

Got it. All right. That is my teaching for you today. I would like to call the podcast mishandlement because that’s the word that came up when I was talking to my VIPers today, but we probably won’t. We’ll see what it comes up, what it comes out to be. But I want to ask you, what are you handling or not handling?

Do you realize the impact that it makes when you don’t handle it? And the most important question is, are you struggling with getting more clients, making more money, getting the weight off and healing the relationships? If you are struggling with that, then you have to know something is not being handled and it is in your control to do this.

It is in your hands. You should never be waiting on someone else to handle something in order for you to get something. That’s the key takeaway. So what do you need to handle so that you can keep moving closer to your target to reach your goals? What can you take responsibility for that maybe you’re currently reacting to?

What do you need to take responsibility for that you are currently reacting to instead of handling? What do you need to handle now? If life is amazing and everything is going great and you have everything you’ve ever wanted and you look around the world and you’re like, I have everything everyone else has and everything I’ve ever desired, then congratulations, you’ve been handling, you’ve been handling things and it’s working for you and that’s amazing.

But if you want to change your career, grow your business, get more money, improve your health, improve your relationships, become wealthy, like, because wealth is different than just making money, right? If You want any of those things, then do the exercise and find out what hasn’t been handled, what you haven’t dealt with, what you’re not managing and what you’re not in control of.

And you’ll be on your way to have everything you want.

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