Ep #111: Here For It All

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Hello, hello. And welcome back to the show. So guess what guys. I have a new grandbaby. I am so excited. His name is Weston John. And I got to snuggle with him. And just so you know, he’s amazing. My heart burst open while anxiously awaiting his arrival. I have to tell you, this new way of doing things was definitely different. It was weird not being there for his birth, like I was for the previous 11 babies. I can’t quite put my finger on it but I’m going to try to explain it.

Like it was really weird. It was awkward. I felt a bit out of touch, or kind of disconnected from the event. I was excited, anticipating the big reveal, because you didn’t know if it’s a boy or girl. And yet, I was sulking in disappointment. So entitled, right? And I’m not even going to apologize for it. I wanted to be there. I deserved to be there. I needed to be there. All of those things. I felt all of that.

But I have to admit, I’m going to tell you something. I stared at his photo and I wept. I called a friend later that afternoon and I just let this sadness just pour through me. She said, “What’s going on?” And I said, “I’m not even sure. I just feel really, really sad.” I’m not sure when it started or exactly what triggered it, but I had so much compassion for him. And maybe it was just not being distracted with being there and all the excitement, and so I had more time to like be separated and think about it.

I don’t know what it was guys, but something came over me that was so deep and so sad. And I just felt so much compassion coming up from me as I looked at his innocence, as I looked at his amazingness. To come into this world so innocent, so pure, so holy, and complete.

And then I’m saddened by the way we treat each other, competing, and judging, and comparing, and putting down. I’m saddened by the separateness we’ve adapted to. Who’s better than the other? Who’s more worthy of being chosen, or lifted up, or supported? Who’s going to be the one to be left out, to be put down? And this believing that the more money you make the more valuable you are, you get to be at the top of the list, or you get the attention first or whatever other bs that we’ve been fed.

That’s what I was saddened by, how cruel we are to each other. And I was annoyed that he was going to experience that in this lifetime. So that’s where my heart was. My heart, my mind, my soul, all of it. I was weeping and compassionately grieving about this hard ass life, this human experience. And how it could be so fun and exciting as well as so painful, and crappy.

I don’t know why we do this to each other. And I don’t know why it affected me so much when I looked at his picture, when I looked at his innocence. And when I even looked at my disappointment. Not being able to be with him, to touch him, to be with my kids. To be with his brother and sister, to see their faces to experience their little brother for the first time like all of that. I was just like bound up in all of the emotions.

And I didn’t react to it. I just allowed it to all just pour through me. And I experienced it. And then I thought about something that I came across a few years ago. It was written by Louise Hay. I’m going to go ahead and share it with you. I think I’ve shared it earlier on in the podcast, but it just seems like an appropriate time to talk about it again.

You were born extremely confident. You came into this world knowing how wonderful you are. You were so perfect when you were a tiny baby. You didn’t have to do anything; you were already perfect. And you acted as if you were aware of that. You knew you were the center of the universe; you weren’t afraid to ask for what you wanted. You freely expressed your emotions. Your mother knew when you were angry. In fact, the entire neighborhood knew it. And when you were happy, your smile lit up the whole room. You were so full of love and confidence.

Little babies will die if they don’t get love. Once we’re older we learn to live without love. But no baby will stand for that. Babies also love every inch of their bodies, even their own feces. They have no guilt, no shame, no comparisons. They know they’re unique and wonderful. You were like that. Then somewhere during your childhood your well-meaning parents passed on their own insecure feelings and taught you feelings of inadequacy and fear. At that point, you began to deny your own magnificence. These thoughts and feelings were never true. And they certainly aren’t true now.

Isn’t that good? So good. Just sit in that awareness, just for a moment. To claim worthiness and self-acceptance. To be in all the glory and joy of simply being you as yourself. Just a moment, just being there in a moment. And even recognizing the sadness that we’ve experienced. Whichever side we played on, the person who was the well-meaning soul who was hurting someone else, maybe unintentionally. And the one who received the hurt. Like, can we just be in all of it? Without the cruelty, without the comparison, without the trying to jump over someone else to get ahead? And just be in that innocence?

That’s just the beginning of this show. I’m joking. Here’s what I have for you today. Are you willing to explore all of this? The heartbreak, the sadness, the joy, the anger, the love, the loneliness? Without attaching to any of it? I know that’s a hard ask, right? How could we be in the joy and appreciation of new life and grieve the heartaches without allowing the suffering to take over us? Without becoming the victims of it? How can we be in the glory as well as the gory? How can we maintain hope, while being in the midst of disappointment?

The quality of our life is determined by the quality of the questions that we ask. And that’s what I want to offer you, to take a look around at all of the things that seem to be going wrong and ask, “How can this be life just having its way? How is this happening for me, for us? How can I be more awake, more aware, more mindful? How can I make the best of this circumstance? Whatever it is, how is this serving for the greater good?”

These questions. Being in the anguish, and the suffering, and the sadness and still being in the light, being in the joy, being in the happiness. Being bored and being satisfied, right? How can we be in the audience watching life happen on the stage and not be suckered in by the scenes as they are happening? How can we maintain presence being in the full experience of it all, and yet not drug around by it?

How can I continue to experience all of life, to continue to serve, to create, and to communicate in a way that creates deeper, more meaningful relationships? Deeper connections, more satisfaction and fulfillment with mankind here in the material world? How can I be more satisfied, more fulfilled? How can I experience the sadness and the joy? And how can I dance in between? Can we build a bridge between the two? Can we bounce back and forth without losing momentum, without losing hope? How can we see the sadness of some of the things that are happening in the world?

Especially this last year, this last two years. Even this past week, there has been some really gruesome incidences. I just heard about the one in Colorado and the one in Atlanta, and there’s just, there’s just so many reasons that we could look at the world and see how terrible it is. See how heartbreaking it is, how disappointing it is, right? We could just look at that, and then choose to judge the whole from those circumstances. Or we can hop off of the stage and we could get back in the seats of the audience. And then we can see the whole picture, that there is still life transforming, there are still people healing, there are still new lives being created, being birthed. There is hope.

We have to be able to maintain our own presence, and peace, and compassion. Clean compassion, not, “I feel sorry for you.” Or me not expecting you to be something different, or someone else and, “Oh, poor her.” That kind of compassion. I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about clean compassion where we get to experience the whole array of emotions and stay composed, stay in the game, keep playing, keep waking up, keep shedding the layers, and just keep playing the game.

What I think is most satisfying is a deeper connection with others. Having these meaningful conversations. Like I am loving Clubhouse. I have met some amazing people there where it’s like just dropping the guard and just having the voice, something about the audio app. And just hearing people’s stories. Stories are what connects us.

Even what I’m talking about here today, I might not have a significant point to this particular show. But maybe it’s just to awaken to a deeper understanding. Or maybe becoming more present. Or maybe just taking on that witness consciousness or the Christ consciousness of being able to see from a different perspective.

That’s what I want to offer you today. That’s it. Just an awareness that I had and maybe someone else will relate to it. And they will be able to see it also that, “Yes, we see the pain and we see the love. And they work together.” Can we be here for it all? Can we have it all? Because to love so deeply is to hurt so deeply when we lose that love. When we see things that hurt us, that hurt our hearts, that crack us open.

So I just want to invite you, no matter what you’re experiencing today, no matter what your circumstance is. However you woke up this morning, whatever life presented you today, could you stay present? Without ejecting, without reacting, without bouncing out of the scene. Could you just stay present and explore what life has for you? What is life bringing to you? How is life moving through you? Just explore that, kind of tap into the what if game. Ask amazing questions. Questions that are going to lead you to see more of what you want to experience.

All right, that’s what I have for you. Until next week. Have a good one.

And I want to remind you, if you want to take this work deeper and really begin to live a more aware, awakened life, a more whole and satisfied life, come over to Self-Healing Masters. We still have the foundation offer for founding members that you get lifetime access. So just know that that is still on. You can link in the show notes and come over and find out more about it. But this is where I’m doing weekly coaching. We have bonus courses and guest coaches. All kinds of good stuff going on in there. Until next week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.