Ep #186: How to Manage Your Mind

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to the more than mindset show. Alright, guys, if you have been listening to the last few weeks, I have been talking about the conscious mind, the subconscious, the unconscious, and the tricks our mind is playing on us. Why is it so hard to create change in our life when we really, really want change?

Right. I hope you’ve been listening. So, this conversation will continue at least one more week. So, I have been talking about the mind or the games that the mind plays in my coaching communities, even with myself guys. So, like don’t ever think that I got it all together. I’m just onto the games that we play.

It doesn’t mean that it’s easy for me or that I don’t have any threats or temptations to go back to the crazy. But what I do have is analogies stories, explanations that I can share that might help it make more sense or maybe sink a little deeper so that you can receive the transformation because really that’s what coaching is all about.

It’s about awareness. Once you understand, and you have awareness, then you’re going to be able to see what’s going on, and then you can change it. The hardest part about transformation and change is that we can’t see what is really happening because the subconscious or unconscious story that’s playing out has been there for so long that it’s a part of your identity and you don’t question it because it’s always been there.

That’s what makes it so tricky. So yeah, you can coach yourself out of some things, out of some conscious episodes, the ones that you can see and watch, but the tricky ones are the ones that are tripping you up and keeping you in the same circumstance.

So, in other words, if you could detect it, you would change it and then you wouldn’t like to be you anymore. You wouldn’t be the same you with the same beliefs. But because it’s been there for such a long time, typically when we were children, we took on these beliefs. And now that’s the lens that you see life through.

Things are hard. Money doesn’t grow on trees. You better not spend it. There won’t be enough. You know, like stories like that. Save for a rainy day, you’d better be careful. You never know when that’s going to come to an end. You see what I’m saying? That almost seems like truth. Because you hear it so often, right?

But it’s not, it’s just stories of the mind from someone’s past experience that they’re passing on to you. Okay. So, what do we do about this? Help me right. So, we’re all saying, help me make it go away. Can you see it? And oh my God, the hours I have spent just frozen. In not being able to get this. It’s countless, there’s so many hours that I was stuck in a brain fog or in a loop, like it’s like this spin and loop cycle.

And I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t see what was tripping me up because everything that I was watching or listening or looking for was very, very normal. So, I’m like, what’s the problem? I don’t understand. What am I doing? Why can’t I see it? And then I kept that story going, can you relate?

So, if you’ve ever been in a position where you you’re like, it’s the same thing that keeps coming up and you’re like, for God sakes, why am I not getting this? Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep eating these Oreos? Why do I keep having this same argument? Why do I keep having this money problem? Why can’t I get ahead?

It’s that kind of thing. Listen, I’m going to give you something to try today. Last week I talked about, I think it was last week or the last couple of weeks, I talked about the, the bowling ball and going straight for the pins and protecting yourself from going in the gutter. You know? So having those protectors and recognizing when the mind is telling you a story, and then when you don’t listen to the story, it takes you into a threat.

Okay. So that I’m going to give you another. Description or story that may help explain this a little bit better. I’ve been doing this with my community. So, if they are with me and they are still like trying to grasp it, then I feel like it’s a good topic because my clients can hear it. But so, can you, so here’s the next example …

You guys know what I’m talking about? When I say like a bull pin. There’s probably is a better word for it, and I’m not even going to go try to figure it out but use your imagination. So, you’re thinking, we’re talking about cattle, right? Horses bulls, and there’s a pen that they’re in, this fence that goes all the way around, that has a gate and they just kind of run crazy in there.

They’re safe and protected. They can’t come out. They don’t know how to open the door. Right. But when you’re like at the rodeo and, gosh, I wish I knew the name for it now. The bull rider is going to come out. So, the bull is locked up in this pen behind the gate. And let’s say that the bull is the mind … your mind.

Okay. It’s kind of stubborn. Does what it wants. It’s a little wild all over the place. It wants to be in control. So, imagine the bull rider is on the bull, holding on, all hooked up and it’s controlling the bull of the mind. And so is the fence.

You’re safe from the bull. You’re safe from the bull crap. The stories that the mind does and says, but once you open the latch, once you open the door, the gate, the rider is not really in control of the bull. The rider is in control of themself, not to fall off of the ball, but the bull’s just bucking.

That’s like your mind. If you’ve ever tried to meditate, you know what I mean? It’s just crazy. It just doesn’t stop. The thoughts, just keep going. So even though you’re sitting in meditation and you’re sitting still, the mind is still crazy. So even though the bull rider is like locked in with the rope and the handles and the hands, it’s the rider is you in meditation, just sitting in the stillness.

And the bull is like the mind that is kicking and carrying on thinking. Like it goes in cycles, little circles on and on and on spinning and looping. So now the mind has been set free to go and think. And the bull has been set free to go and kick and ride and stir up some dirt, and to throw the rider off all of those things.

And the rider is in control of themself. Can we agree? So, imagine. Trying to create change, like not eating the Oreos or not eating the sugar or, not reacting negatively, whatever the thing is that you want to change. Maybe it’s not spending so much money. Maybe it’s being bold and courageous and promoting yourself.

So, it could be something you’re doing or not doing. And the thing that’s stopping you from doing it is the mind and the stories that the mind tells you. So, it’s like the bull. Just living its best life, just wild and the bull rider who is in control. And then let’s imagine you’re in control. So, let’s just take one of those examples.

And probably the easiest one is not to eat sugar, not to snack or eat the bag of chips or whatever it is. And so, the mind is like, no, no, no, let’s go crunch. Let’s go do that. I’m feeling really anxious and really nervous. And this would pass the time, you know, it’s going to be so good. And I’m just going to have two.

And you as the rider or the person who is owning the mind in the moment is like, nope, we’re not going to do it. And then what happens. That’s when you see the bull in that pen, like it’s trying to get out and it’s huffing and puffing and kicking and, and trying to go, but it can’t get out the gate.

And so, this is kind of like what your mind is doing when it can’t have the Oreo … come on. It’s like nudging you along and then there’s a sensation in your body. It could be a pressure. It could be anxiousness or nervousness. It could be fidgeting. It’s like I used to say, I want to chew the cabinet doors, you know, because it was like, I just wanted to shut it up.

Like I just wanted the bull to be still, to be quiet, to stop acting out, to stop kicking and huffing and, and going nuts. And then the sensation. And the resistance together is when that chemical release happens. So, in other words, you don’t do the thing that the mind wants you to do. You don’t do the thing that the bull wants you to do, right?

So, the bull wants to get out. You don’t let it out. The mind wants to go have Oreos or chips and you don’t give it. Guys, you need to go put the rodeo channel on, go watch this. Just try, just play with it. Are you willing to be surprised on what else you can discover that the mind has yet to experience?

It’s just a little challenge. So soon as you open the gate, it goes crazy. And then what happens? The rider does not continue. Right. They eventually get bucked off the bull wins, the mind wins, and the Oreos go down. And then before you know it, the bag of chips empty. So, who is winning. I wonder if that’s where a bull shit comes from, right?

The BS, the belief systems, if it’s coming from the actual bull, since the behavior is the same. So, I hope you guys are getting this. You have to let me know, send me an email, and say, oh my God, this makes so much sense or come to the More Than Mindset Facebook Group. And if you have a partner or a friend and you see them doing this, then share it with.

And like, listen, we’re going to make a pack together and we’re going to try this out and we’re going to beat the bull. Where you’re going to beat the bull in its own game, because we understand the rules. So, here’s what you do. Just like in meditation, you stay still and you let it have a hissy fit. You let it go crazy.

Just let it go crazy. Don’t try to change the thoughts. Don’t believe the thoughts don’t take it personally. That’s the number one takeaway right there. Do not take it personally. Don’t take what the mind says and does personally don’t take the sensations in the body personally. So, it’s an opportunity for you to lock your mind and body in the bullpen, and then you, yourself, your soul. Can go off and do the thing.

So, it’s a way to separate them, the subjective and objective. Right. It’s being able to see it without separating the behavior and the sensation from the desire to control.

So, when you’re trying to maintain control and it feels like you’re losing, just let it leave the body and set a timer. This is going to be done in 90 seconds, but you might just start with 30 seconds of just stop. Maybe, maybe it’s three seconds. Just stop. Watch it. Feel it. Breathe. Don’t get the Oreos.

Don’t open the chips. Just stay as long as you can. And if you get the chips or get the Oreos, I want you to walk right past them and go outside or to another room. This is the navigating part.

Interrupt the old pattern in the present moment. Got it. So, you’re feeling it, you’re hearing it. You’re aware of the tornado or the hurricane that’s happening. And then you’re able to separate yourself, your soul, your higher self. From the behavior, from the action, from the habit for as long as you can, and just stay and watch and you are going to be wanting to kick and scream.

You’re going to act just like the bull in the bullpen. You are not going to want to do it. Okay. So, stay as long as you possibly can, and time it because you’re going to practice this. So that you can get better and stronger at managing your mind. So let me know how long you were able to stay. Was it 10 seconds? Was it 20 seconds?

Maybe you’re a Daredevil. You went all the way to three minutes, right? It’s kind of like tolerating an ice bath. So, I feel like I’m bringing you back in. Make sure we’re on the same track. So, you have the desire. You have the urge. You do not answer the urge. You do not believe the mind. You do not believe the sensations in the body.

And you look at the time you set the timer for ninety seconds or for two minutes. And if you just can’t stand it anymore. And the bull is kicking and screaming and heehawing and knocking on the fence and doing all the things. And you’re like, I’m giving in, and you get up and go towards the chips, the Oreos, the reactive behavior, whatever it is.

I want you to look at it and keep walking. Don’t stop. Just play this game walk right by. Go outside, go into another room, do five jumping jacks, something to entertain the bull until you get to the two-minute mark, okay? So, I’ve given you an action plan. I’ve given you the understanding and I want to help you.

Grow control of your mind so that you can have and do the things that you want and quit repeating the past. Now this works for what you don’t do and what you do do. So, in other words, if you’re procrastinating, you just don’t want to finish the thing. You don’t want to go pay the bill. You don’t want to sweep the floor.

You don’t want to do the laundry, whatever that thing is, you don’t want to put up the post, make the offer, reach out to the person who you talked to yesterday as a follow up, whatever it is, you’re going to do the same exact thing. So instead of sitting or lying down or doodling or playing on social media, you’re going to close, whatever it is you were doing.

And you’re going to get up to go do the thing. And you’re not going to want to do it, and you’re going to do it anyway. And if you can repeat this, I like to say a hundred times, everything takes a hundred times for you to really develop a new habit, even a hundred. So, we’re doing this,10-week mind- body intensive.

And we are going to be practicing this sort of thing. Going to help people break through money issues, relationship issues, health issues that are being managed by the mind to be quite honest. So, I’m going to teach them how to become the controller, how to be empowered. And this is one of the tools that we will use.

So, I’m just giving you a little taste. Of course, it’s different if we were in- person and we were practicing together and I would be holding that for you, because I would be able to show you. So right now, I’m just going to give you the information and you go and try it for yourself. And see if you can separate your behavior from the bull’s behavior from the mind and the body.

The mind is carrying on and drinking and mouthing off. And the body’s feeling sluggish and tired or drunk. Recognize that, and then recognize who the heck you are. Take control, take control of your life and your desires, what you want, what you want to create, what you want to do, how you want to grow and be able to see.

What’s playing out here. The biggest problem is we didn’t know the rules, man. We didn’t know the laws of creation. Even though you listen to the law of attraction, you don’t actually know the law of creation. Otherwise, you would be doing what you say you want. You would already be living it. Most people are not.

So, it’s fair to say, I really don’t know the law of attraction. I have not met myself to the capacity that I want to. So, I know that even for myself, that I have to keep practicing every day, it’s not going to stop. I’m always going to have these challenges because I am a human.

And so are you, and this is how it works. My life is just so much better now that I can see it, manage it, control it. And I get to choose my experience. Okay, that is what I have for you this week, my friends. Have a good one.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.