Ep #136: Intro to Human Design Immersion with Malerie Veillon

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Hello, hello, and welcome back to the More Than Mindset show. My name is Kim, I am your host. And my guest today is Malerie. Malerie is my assistant, business and personal. And we are talking about Human Design.

So I have a series coming up that is all about Human Design and we’re even going to bring in gene keys conversation. And I am interviewing several of my clients from Self Healing Masters and from the integrative mind body coach training. And we’re going to talk about our experience from being introduced to Human Design, because I have introduced it to most of my clients, they had not heard of it before.

My history goes back several years. When I first started coaching, I was working with an astrologist and I was using my birth chart and it was such an awakening experience for me that I started getting her to run charts on all of my clients. That’s how this all began.

And then when I found Human Design and gene keys, I realized that we could do self-study with that because they would have the information themselves. And I am not an astrologist and so I really couldn’t help on that other way.

And since introducing it and watching the transformation and change in my clients when they really got to know who they were, and we started the unlearning deconditioning process. And watching them come to this state of wholeness and having permission to be who they really are, it was like a permission slip to quit pretending, maybe, I don’t know. I’m not sure, let’s let Malerie talk about this.

So Malerie is a 3/5 generator. And we’re going to talk about her experience, how her life was before, what this information has shown her. And I’m going to just let her kind of tell her own story about it. First, Malerie, you can just introduce yourself, and then tell the audience, what was your first encounter? Was there fear? And then how did it evolve? So I’m going to give you the floor.

Malerie: Again, I am Malerie Veillon And as Kim said, yes, I am her business and personal assistant. She texted me this morning to bring her coffee and pick her up at her house to bring her to the building where she works. I also help do the marketing inside of our business and help coach her clients on marketing.

The very first time you gave me the very first, well the only astrology chart that you have pulled on me was at the beginning of the coach training. So that was like four-ish years ago. And I remember reading it and I was like, “None of this makes sense. This is not accurate, this is not me, you have the wrong person.”

And over the years I’ve reread it a couple of times as I was going through all of that deconditioning process. And every time that I looked back at it, it was a little bit more accurate. So after all of the unlearning started happening, then that truer version of myself sort of coming out. And that’s what my life looked like, like the chart was being reflected accurately.

So I haven’t read it in a while, but I know where it’s at and I should probably go back and look at it. And there are a couple of key things that I remember in there. And so I can remember what it said, and now, like right now, those things are really accurate.

So whenever you started talking about Human Design and pulling my own Human Design chart. And then talking about what it meant, and you would look at my chart and explain, “This means this about you,” it felt like the fog was being wiped away from the mirror and I could see more clearly. Because it was the part of me that I had been conditioned to not trust.

And so once it started coming up, and it was the whole process, right? It was the deconditioning and learning more about how I am supposed to function in the world, and all of that came together. And that’s whenever it started to feel more real and more accurate.

And now that I’m actually living that way, I can trust myself so much more. And I believe that I’m making the right decisions for myself, most of the time. It’s so much easier to live this way than to just go through life not trusting myself.

Kim: So I do want to touch on the coming from the Christian perspective or even the Catholic perspective. When we first started introducing this and really started questioning some of the things that we believe, what came up you for you?

Because I find that this is kind of a big story for most people because we’ve kind of been taught against even pulling cards, or meditation, mindfulness, this new age fearful thing and that kind of stuff.

So I just want to speak to it lightly, if you can remember, when I first introduced it was there some of that there? Was there a kind of like a “I’m misbehaving, I need to go to confession, this is dangerous”? Could I get your words on that?

Malerie: When I first read it and first looked at it, and you told me you were pulling an astrology chart, I was like, oh, this is probably one of those things that’s, not illegal in the church but I’m trying to think of the word. This is dangerous, like this is evil. I shouldn’t be reading this stuff or I shouldn’t be trusting the stuff. It’s probably sinful. Like I shouldn’t be listening to this.

Kim: Okay. But you were willing to explore it, probably because you trusted me, right?

Malerie: Mm-hmm.

Kim: That’s what I’m guessing, I don’t know. But I’m curious about it because it was a big deal for me too. I remember going to a yoga class and my friend here came with me. It was the first time, I was so scared, like we drove an hour and 15 minutes to go.

And at the very end, it was like a six week beginner yoga. And like the fifth or sixth session, I think it was the fifth, there was a quote by Buddha and both of us were like, on our side in fetal position, and our eyes got this big. And we’re like, “Oh my God.” And we didn’t go to the next class, it was crazy.

And it was really coming back to– The quote was about you deserve your own love and kindness as much as anyone else, it was something like that. But it was when she said Buddha. And now I have friends, like Peggy says, “You’re Buddhist. I’m telling you, I think you’re Buddhist.” She was like, “I have a Buddhist teacher and everything you say aligns with that.”

And I was like, “We are just souls having a human experience who’ve been conditioned by the environment, all those labels and stuff. And it’s created this oppressed life, this container of fear.” So I appreciate you speaking to that.

So, again, by the time we introduced Human Design were you a little more open to that? Was there still like the primal brain kind of still playing it stories? What was happening?

Malerie: I was definitely more open to it because I had already been through the coach training. I had been working with you for quite a while by that point. So I was like, “Okay, this looks like a lot.” I didn’t understand what this chart means, but you would tell me little bits and pieces kind of as we went, like just a little taste of it. It’s like, “Okay, yeah, that makes sense.”

I still didn’t know what the chart meant, but that piece of information made sense. I could see how it fit into my life and into my beliefs at that time. If it was before all that I would have been like, “I don’t know what this is, I can’t give my attention to it right now because it’s too much to look at.” For someone who wants to know all the details about everything, it feels like too much to look at right away.

But hearing it, like the way that you introduced it and taught me the basics of strategy and authority, getting little bites of it at a time and then seeing how it fit into my life made sense and it was easy to digest.

Kim: Yeah, I feel like it’s the thing I pull out if I see something or sense this potential that you’re not seeing, I bring that in as validation. It’s not like I’m getting the information from the charter from the system. It’s like a sensing in the relationship, in the coaching. And then I’ll turn to the chart and look at it, I’m like, “Oh, here it is.”

And so it’s like just more evidence for your brain to receive it. Can you sense it that way? Because the work was happening prior to me ever asking for your birth time.

Malerie: Yeah.

Kim: Remember, even sitting here when you weren’t even able to associate with your own feelings because that had been shut down. And I remember you saying, like you would look at me like, “Well, you tell me, you know me more than I do.” And I was like, “This is kind of the problem.”

This is what we have done as children. The adults know better, the authorities know better, let me just ask them. And we weren’t taught to look inside of ourselves and to trust what we feel and sense. Like what color Skittle are you? What flavor are you? What do you have to present to us as a gift?

Do we really want everyone to be the same and then to present that? Like we’re all in competition, and we need to do what everyone else is doing. And if they were successful, we need to do that. That shit don’t work.

Malerie: That has been one of the biggest lessons for me as far as learning my Human Design. Like you said, I’m a 3/5 generator, and you’ve explained to me many, many times that I’m the one who’s supposed to try a bunch of things and fail a bunch of times and figure out what works and what doesn’t work. And then present, “Hey, people, this is what works.”

And that was really hard for me to wrap my head around, and sometimes I still resist it. But that’s how my life actually is. And me being conditioned to believe that I could not fail, I wasn’t supposed to fail, and if I wasn’t excelling at something It meant that it wasn’t right for me. That was all just the conditioning because I am the one that’s supposed to mess up and make mistakes and do things wrong and figure it out, figure out what works, and then let everyone else know.

And whenever I can get to that point where I accept that about myself and know that it’s okay for me to go out and make mistakes and try some things and be seen not being perfect, and be seen failing and doing it wrong sometimes, then so many more possibilities open up. But whenever I resist that part and think that I should be getting it right the first time, everything is so much more limited and it’s not fun.

Kim: Can you speak to our relationship and experience of– I see that in you, that was a part of the reason why I wanted you to be part of the organization. I wanted you to bring that creativity. But granting permission to be creative in your own way, it’s taken a lot of convincing from my side.

How has the experience been for you? Because you keep trying to go into that perfect box, and you want to please and you want to get it right. And I’m like, we are creating something new in the world. So we can’t follow what someone else is doing, it doesn’t work for us. We have to create.

And I feel like that’s the message that I keep telling you. And then we come back and then we play it for a little while. So what happens? Like what’s happening on your end?

Malerie: It took a lot of us talking things out and you reminding me, “Hey, this is what’s supposed to happen. You are supposed to send out an email that has the wrong link, and have to redo it. You’re supposed to do those things and I’m not mad at you for doing that.” Part of me is like, “Oh my god, this is a reflection of her business and I screwed up.” And you’re like, “Yeah, and so just fix it, do it the right way next time.”

So me having to sometimes learn those lessons a few times in a row was really, really hard for me. And I think I’m just getting to the point where I’m not panicking whenever something has not gone the way that it’s supposed to or the way that I thought it was supposed to. And you’re like, “No, let’s just fix it. Or let’s figure it out for the next time.”

Kim: What’s the voice in your head telling you, like when the dates are wrong or the email goes out the next day, or anything like that is happening? What was your expectation? That I was going to scream at you? I was going to fire you? What in your little brain, your little kid brain, I was going to write you up? I was going to send you to the principal?

Malerie: I don’t know, it was just that feeling of shame, like of failure. The shame of doing it wrong and failing. And being called out, like you knew that I had done it wrong and being called out. Just feeling the shame of it is the worst part. I don’t think I had the thought that you were going to fire me, I think it was just like, “Oh, shit, I did something wrong.”

Kim: I’m so embarrassed, I’m so embarrassed.

Malerie: Yeah.

Kim: And what was it like to receive a different message? Because I talk about environmental messaging, generational patterning, that kind of stuff. So, what happened with your brain when it didn’t receive what it thought?

Kim: At first, I didn’t believe it. So it took me messing up a few times along the way and then you having the same reaction, saying, “Yeah, it’s okay,” and not shaming me for it, for it to click in my head like, “Oh, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s okay. We mess up sometimes.”

Kim: It’s so interesting now because Emily, who is also on the team, who’s a community manager for Self Healing Masters is a 3/5 also, generator. And so I’m watching you watch her experience this. And so do you kind of feel like you can sense, or you want to help her along, or you want to do it for her? What’s been your experience watching someone else go through what you just experienced?

Malerie: It’s kind of like I can sense the reason something hasn’t happened on her end. It’s like I know what she’s thinking that’s stopping it from happening.

So like whenever you got on a call with her a while ago, she was saying the exact same things that I said a year ago or eight months ago. And I’m like, “Oh my god, we are like the same person, it’s so crazy.” It’s so crazy to see that she’s going through it and I have already been through it. It literally feels like I’m watching a replay of me doing it.

Kim: Yeah, that’s when this work starts getting priceless. You know, when you can get to that position. When you’re in it, when you’re on the stage it’s not so exciting because your body is going through all these reactions and it takes some time.

So we have the mindset, then we have the emotional processing, but then we have to bring the nervous system on board because the trained nervous system response is from– Because you’re the same 3/5 from the beginning, you’ve just been conditioned and then gone through the deconditioning process. And still are, we all still are. Because it is really, really intense on how conditioned we are.

And then when you start moving into that permission, and then your brain reminds you, “It’s not safe, this is going to happen. You remember when you were four. Remember when you were 14.” And so it’s like this constant reminder. We almost have to be living in the container of the work once we have the awareness.

So the reason that we’re talking about this today is I’m moving into the podcast, we’re going to have a few sessions in a row where I’m talking to different profiles and different strategies and authorities. And we’re just interviewing them exactly like this, like, “So what was your experience when you realized you were a generator? What’s your experience when you realized you’re a projector?”

And we are also doing a live emergence. So it’s a Human Design gene keys immersion that we’re doing in Self Healing Masters, we’ve extended that invitation to outsiders.

So if you’re on my email list, if you listen to the podcast, or you’re in our free More Than Mindset Facebook group, you have received an invitation that you can join those calls. For $37 you can come and attend. You don’t get the container and the integration, you get the call. Which is very valuable in identifying your strategy and authority.

So I’m taking little bite-sized steps, very, very beginner to introduce Human Design. We’re going to look at your chart, we’re going to teach you how to make decisions for yourself. And it’s going to be that unlearning process. It’s like really recognizing the conditioning first.

If you love it, which I believe you will, then you can join Self Healing Masters where we do the integration and you have the community. We have a retreat coming up in October where we’re going to be diving into this even deeper.

We’ll have four days in the community, everyone will bring their charts and we’re going to just kind of have this group setting where the generators are talking, the 5/1s are talking, the 3/5s are talking, the 6/2s. And we’re really going to dive into how can we relate better? How can we communicate better? How can we be in relationship that is rich and intimate?

So I am a 6/2 with the 59/6. I’m all about breaking through those barriers and creating intimacy and relationships that are really, really rich, and deep, and satisfying.

So that’s what this show was about today, is just letting Malerie be an example of learning her design and what that has been as a gift in her own life. And how our relationship was built on this and now we’re building the organization on this. And to also give you an invite to come to any of those calls that you may want to. Each one’s going to have a different topic.

But, guys, Self Healing Masters is the place to be. I swear it is the funnest place on Earth.

Malerie: Definitely get inside Self Healing Masters. And you need to come to the retreat, especially if you’re new to the container it’s going to just help tie everything all together. I’m really excited about retreat, the closer that it gets, the more excited I get because I know it’s just so deep and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. So I’m excited to have everyone come and join us because it’s the best.

Kim: And she’s the photographer and videographer and assistant and marketing genius behind E-School. So she is as deep in this organization as I am. And so you can see where it was very important to me that she be in her design, in her authenticity. And so whenever this conditioning stuff comes in, like it is my responsibility for the organization to pause and permission, pause and permission.

And we just keep tattering along. We don’t have this figured out, we are figuring it out as we go. You know, the concept that I love so much is called tattering. It’s try, assess, tweak, and try again. And I, as a 6/2, have been a three most of my life. So that’s where the relation comes in with the six two and the 3/5.

So the link is below. I want to invite you at least come into the More Than Mindset community where you can stay in touch and learn more about it. Malerie, thank you for coming on and being a part of the show.

Malerie: My pleasure.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.