Human Design has become a huge aspect of the work we do over here. So this week, I have four of my Human Design Projectors on the show to talk about their experiences and how understanding their Human Design has allowed them to live a life they truly love.
Ashley Sittering, Chanci Dawn, Sharon Wirant, and Jenifer Paredes are all Human Design Projectors. And they each have a unique journey to share with us about their physical and emotional experience of self-healing and embodiment, and how this work has allowed them to take a different and more successful approach.
Tune in this week to discover the experience of the Human Design Projector. Ashley, Chanci, Sharon, and Jenifer are sharing the realizations they had when they discovered their Human Design, and how acting in the way that the world expected them to robbed them of their natural joy for too long. And they’re sharing their tips for giving yourself the permission to show up as a Projector.
Welcome to More Than Mindset the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Chanci: Recording in progress, so I would say after finding out about my design, I’m like a recovered A type, go, go, go, go, go, manifesting generator. So that is who I am. I’m a life coach, a single mom of three kids. And I live in Canada on the west coast. And I feel like this has given me my life back, permission to be who I am. So that’s who I am.
Kim: So you’re saying you were behaving as a manifesting generator and you’re a projector?
Chanci: Yes, so I’m a recovered–
Kim: I don’t know if I’ve heard you quite put it that way. But, I mean, I know your experience and I coach with you, so I know what you’re saying. But I didn’t put together that you like understood it like when you compared the two together. That’s fascinating. I have a feeling that we’re probably going to hear a lot of the same kind of thing. What about you, Sharon?
Sharon: Yeah, exactly. I was pretending to be a generator and it didn’t work, I got very sick. And learning about my projectorness I’ll call it, was. It was so freeing and it brought along not only freedom, but a lot of understanding why some things didn’t work and why I was being misunderstood, and why I felt on the fringes on the outside.
Kim: Wow. We’re going to come back to everyone and we’re going to break this down and kind of explain what is generator, what is manifesting generator, and they’ll give some examples of what they’re talking about, guys. So, Ashley, what about you?
Ashley: Yeah, exact same. I’m actually in a program right now where I’m healing my adrenals and my thyroid as well because I was go, go, go doing 10 million things. I had a mom that still is go, go, go, she is a generator and I received love by my accomplishments and what I could do and how much I could help others.
And so, yeah, just so many different projects I was getting into as well. That’s why I felt like more of a manifesting generator. But all the different ways that I was trying to build and initiate, realizing I was going against my authority for so long, my strategy and authority.
Kim: So I think the most fascinating part is when you guys realize it and give yourself permission to rest. Would you agree?
Ashley: Still working on that.
Kim: I was going to say but then that brings up like you’re being lazy, you got to go out there and go get it if you want to be a successful, because all of you are coaches. If you want to be a successful coach, this is what you need to do. And these are the Ts you need to cross and the Is you have to dot. Is that right?
So for you, Chanci, when it was first explained, like what is a projector, and you had the jaw dropping moment and all of that kind of coming through. So let’s speak to the person who’s just realizing they’re a projector, but they have type A personality or they’ve been a go-getter because that’s how they were taught.
Chanci: Yeah, for me it really helped me change my story that I’m lazy or that something’s wrong with me. Because I always thought like, “Why can’t–” I would be part of these masterminds, like the one you and I met in, and it was definitely led by the generator energy. And I just always felt like I can’t keep up and something’s wrong with me, and maybe I’m lazy. Or all of these different thoughts that I had. And then I would spin and I would compare and despair, and then create more of exactly what I didn’t want.
So it really did, I went, “What? Okay, if this is true this explains a lot.” And the first thing I started doing is allowing myself to nap if I felt like I needed to nap. And finding more pleasure in that instead of doing it through guilt.
Like sinking into all of these things that I always loved but would feel so much guilt on the other side, like walking for an hour in the forest every morning and then napping. And now I’m like, this is actually how I build the magnetism. This is a big part of my– I always create a belief plan for my business. And a huge, huge changing moment was when I added my only job is to sparkle.
Kim: I remember.
Chanci: And as soon as I let myself be in that and then it’s like, oh my gosh, this is so fun. Life became fun. And I still sometimes think it’s all going to fall apart because I’m not go, go, go, go. But then it’s like, okay, trust, and that goes back to that motto as well that you taught me. Like willing to be surprised, I trust life. And there’s a lot of that, having to do a lot of work around that in order to be able to live in my authority.
Kim: What was your physical and emotional experience when you were in a group of go-getters and you were trying to go get?
Chanci: Oh God, I just would feel really shaky, and I still do. I think when I’m talking about the embodied aspect of how I was feeling, like really shaky, almost like I was drinking caffeine continuously. And my body just couldn’t rest. And I always felt really like, yeah, just very out of sorts, very insecure.
I remember in high school sometimes not really feeling like I belonged and feeling just like I can’t get it. Like I’m not in the crowd and it was just really, really confusing to me. Like, why are these people like this? Why can they have all of this going on? And yeah, it was just buzzy, always busy.
And I remember my skin always would feel really greasy. That’s how it would show up, because it would just be like, oh, and I’m like, oh my god, I would always have to bring powder to different events and stuff and I couldn’t understand it. And I definitely do not get that anymore.
Kim: I see Sharon, like she is steadily shaking her head. So what have you– Because you’ve been in a coaching community too that’s really go getting and rambunctious your whole life, right? Weren’t you a massage therapist and a dog trainer? I’m trying to put your past before you knew about Human Design.
Sharon: Way in the past I had worked for administrative for a few years before I stepped into massage therapy. And I massaged horses, performance horses, and dogs, performance dogs, because I’m very into the sport of dog agility. And before then I was really into riding dressage horses and really into that scene.
And I just remember back then, even when I ran my human massage therapy practice, that was the calmest I ever was. And I never did any big advertising, it was always through word of mouth. Then I went to school and got kind of caught up in trying to get it done.
And I took probably 21 credits a semester just to get it done because I was older and I felt time slipping away. And that’s when I kind of started getting into that the grind of getting stuff done. Then I got into an industry, a crisis industry that really wore me out. And it’s always go, go, go, always help, there’s always an emergency that literally you felt like you were working 24/7, that you always had to be available.
Later in my career I was always jumping on a plane surrounded by people. And then in a room all day long. And then at night we had all these social dinners and be team player, we were there at night.
So, yeah, I just remember being so tired and wired. Yes, it’s the name of my book because that’s literally how I felt. And it’s different than that feeling when you just feel alive buzz versus this buzz of urgency. And I just felt like I was electric, it was nonstop.
Kim: So the buzz, Chanci, when you when you talk about the buzz and Sharon you were nodding your head, was the buzz kind of like an anxious? What’s the feeling you would put to the buzz? How would they describe it, like I just feel–
Chanci: I think electric is really–
Kim: The wired, like she said?
Chanci: As soon as you said that, electric. But it’s not a settled, it’s not so much anxiety, it’s just this like overload, system overload.
Kim: Okay, and Ashley is shaking her head now. And that’s really what I’m trying to get to, is like what was the experience when you were in the not self? When you were in the conditioned self, when the world told you to be a busy body. When you were trying to keep up with everyone else in order to fit in or to perform. Ashley, what about you?
Ashley: Me as a nurse and working overtime and it was the decline of my dad’s health going on, there was so much happening. It was just like constantly I couldn’t keep up. And wired and tired was the word I would continuously use because it’s like I would be so wired, but yet brain fogged. And then by nighttime it’s like I couldn’t go to sleep. It’s like that’s when I kind of started getting energy.
And it was just like, again, going back to adrenals and the other things that I was just burning out. But the constant need to keep up with demands. And then when I became charge nurse, I not only was given other responsibilities, but I’m managing a whole floor and it was a lot.
I actually enjoyed it more, and it makes sense as being a projector because I was orchestrator, I could see above and I could be more of help in that way. But I was doing a lot of my manager’s work, I was taking on stuff that necessarily wasn’t part of my role, but because I just was always the go-getter, achiever, type A, yeah, it was hard for me to say no and set boundaries and just respect my own energy. So it’s been a work in progress in that sense for me.
Kim: Sharon, what’s coming to mind is when I’m thinking about the book, Tired Yet Wired, is that geared towards recovering projectors? That’s pretty fascinating, since y’all are all kind of saying the same thing.
Sharon: Yeah, it is, but when I wrote the book, I had no idea what Human design was. And the more I’m learning, I think one day I need to revise this book and really include Human Design. Because now it brings that extra layer of understanding, which can lead to acceptance. Which then leads to you living your life the way that suits you and not everybody else.
Kim: I think we’re onto something here. That was the whole point of gathering. Because I was looking inside of Self Healing Masters and I was like, just being able to group it together. Like we’ll have one just with 6/2s, just with 3/5s. But really talking to the projectors, the reflectors, the manifesters, the generators, and manifesting generators. As I continue to work with them and see this, I hear the same things over and over and over.
And projectors, I’ve always been attracted to. I feel like I can protect you guys. It’s like, “Hey, I see you. We need you, we want you. And hey, slow down and just be you.” I think I’m thinking, like, Chanci, when you and I were working together one on one that was like the message every single week. And it was like, you just have to go play. Where are you happy? And you were like, “Okay.” And it’s like, is it the beach? Or is it the woods? Where do I go today?
And that’s something I want to get from you guys too, is what is something that that projector can ask themselves? Like, how did you give yourself permission to move into the actual role of being yourself? Now, you’re a mental projector, so that’s another thing for you guys who are new to Human Design, is there are different authorities.
And so when I’m asking you about the mental projector, that’s more the sounding board. And that’s pretty much what our sessions look like, I’m not telling you what to do. I’m not influencing you in any way. But I’m holding and allowing you to see what’s coming up so you can make your own decisions.
Chanci: Mm-hmm. Yes, exactly, like reading. With coaching, the thing I love to always say to people is like, we can’t read the label on our own jar. So in coaching, for me as a mental projector, what I really love is when a coach is like, “Here’s the label, now let’s talk about it.” And then I can like, “Okay,” and figure it out from there.
And to dive into pleasure has been huge, especially because and what is funny, is I’ve really branded my entire coaching, my business around that very thing. And it’s because I believe in it so much. And then I’m like, but I only have so much time to do it.
It’s like something I have to fit in instead of live and trust that that is actually at the forefront of how to live instead of like, “Okay, I have to go, go, go, and don’t forget pleasure.” Instead it’s like live in pleasure and then things fall into place. For me that is what’s really happened.
Kim: That is perfect. And how has, I’m just going to ask everyone. We’ll go around the room, I’ll start with Sharon. How has this affected people in your environment, your partners, your kids, your clients? Because it takes years to decondition and move through this process.
So from when you were first introduced and have an understanding of, “Okay, I am a projector and this is how my unit functions. This is the kind of gas that you put in this car, this vehicle.” Sharon did your people around you notice a difference when you had to give yourself, like you’re like, “Hold on, slow down, I’m not going to do all that.” How was that for you?
Sharon: Oh yeah, especially with my husband because we don’t have children, and the rest of my family, they live far away. And he started noticing a difference and then I started talking about it.
And at first he’s like, “Well, come on, let’s go to these.” Usually it’s around our dog trials and I know Covid had put them to the curb. But now they’ve come back. I’m like, I’m not going every weekend. It’s exhausting. As fun as it is, as fun as it is to run around with my dogs and do these obstacles and win awards and stuff like that, it is too exhausting for me to be around all these people and to have super early mornings and then late nights.
And he was a bit resistant at first. And then I pulled his chart, I did his chart. And then I purchased a book, one of Karen Curry’s books about Human Design, and I said, “Read this.” And I said, “Can you see me in this for projector?” And he said yes, and he can see himself as a generator.
So by sharing and being willing to have the conversation with him has made it a lot easier. Although we both still kind of struggle, in that old patterns take a while to shift. He still sometimes kind of wants me to go and I say, “I’m not doing this trial.” And you can see that look of disappointment on his face. But it’s like, I just can’t. I really don’t want to and I just I need the time to rest and just do what I want to do.
And it’s also given me permission, like what Chanci was saying, to start looking for things that are fun. So when I’m doing these dog trials, I’m not entered in every single class anymore. I’m picking and choosing so that there’s rest in between and I have much more fun.
Because what I have done is I have taken anything and everything that I have found pleasurable, including my mixed media art, my dog training, I make it work. I make it something that I have to do. I have to do it on a regular basis and I have to do it in a certain way to a certain level, that I’m now kind of taking a step back and just kind of letting it be, letting it complete when it’s ready to be completed rather than forcing that process.
Kim: So good. I see Ashley just soaking it all in. We met on Clubhouse by the way. One of these moments, and I’ve seen for her, she just like soaked it up. Which I think is a 6/2 thing. I think the 6s just kind of like, whoa. Because supposedly we are like carrying this influence of it, this understanding of of what’s to come as the visionaries.
But what about you, Ashley? What are your environment, your people, your workplace?
Ashley: Luckily, it was more my family just setting boundaries and letting my– It’s funny, my mom, she doesn’t understand Human Design, doesn’t care to understand, it’s all just whatever. But it didn’t matter, I just let her know, my energy I can’t do the same things I used to do. Because I was always mommy’s little helper. I was always doing all the things for her, always bending over backwards. Again, that’s how I received love.
Once I set those boundaries, I mean, she’ll still ask me do things, but I say no and she respects it. And then luckily, during that time of learning all about this I was going through a whole new friend group, I ended a long term relationship, all these things. So I didn’t have many people to answer to. I was able to be in my hermit mode and really come back out as who I am and the new energy that I wanted to bring forward.
But I definitely have come to learn that my love for dance, I had to implement that in my life. And it’s funny too, because I started feeling that magnetism around me when I was dancing. People just like watching, but it’s because I was in my flow. I was in my love for it.
I could feel the energy around me and then it was being reflected to me through what other people were seeing. So it was pretty neat to be able to see that. And so yeah, it’s something that I make sure I do at least twice a week.
Kim: I love that. I know it’s definitely something that Chanci has embodied also. And I remember whenever we were talking and I was like, “Oh my god, you do dancing? We need that, we want that. Would you come along?”
Chanci what was it for you? Because I know, I mean, I see you and it really is just embodying, just coming into our beautiful body. And it’s so nourishing what you are bringing out through your own discovery and sharing. Which is what you guys are here for.
That’s the guidance that you provide when you’re in that, and then we can see it and call it out, or bring it out, or invite it. It’s like the hard part is when you’re trying to force it or share it without the invitation, right? Chanci, did your environment change, your kids?
Chanci: Well, yeah, it’s kind of neat because I have two little projector kids, Evan and Jacob. And I’ve always felt like the mom guilt that I really was never the mom to be like, “Okay, let’s go. Let’s go to the park. Let’s go to here. Let’s go to here.” But they’re like, “Mom, can we just have a jammy day today and just be home?” And I’d be like, “Yes.” And I’d be feeling this relief with this like underlying current of massive mom guilt. Because I’m like, “I should be doing all these things.”
So it’s funny because now they’re teenagers, preteen and teenager. But I just I’m like, “Oh, no, that’s our design, we need jammy days.” And so it’s changed like that, where we do a lot more chill where I’m like, this is so serving to my children, and as their mom for all of us to be able to be here. So that’s how it’s helped as a parent is just, again, no guilt. Just like, this is in service of.
And then I’m currently seeing a manifesting generator. And it’s go, go, go, go, go go. And I did his chart, well, in the beginning, but really dug into it because I’m like I’m finding this exhausting, even though it’s all the fun things. I’m like, we’d go on a boat ride in the morning, then we pull into the dock and he’s like, “Let’s go to the river.” I’d be like, “Are you kidding?” Like I just want to go home and watch a movie. But it’s just next activity, next activity.
So it really helped me. What I realized is I wasn’t living in my design in that because I wanted to keep up. And I was feeling guilt that I was going to seem lazy. So one day, I woke up, slept in. It was a day we weren’t together and I slept in until about 10. I let myself. And then I get up and there was a text. He’s like, “Hey, how’s your morning going?” And I lied, I was like, “Just got back from a hike.” I totally lied. And I was like, wow, okay, there’s something here.
So then later I’m like, “Okay, I didn’t go for a hike, I’m feeling exhausted and I don’t want you to judge me.” And then I explained our designs and he’s like, “Oh, you’re so silly.” But it’s allowing, again, because not to be in that I’m lazy, this isn’t okay, but to really live in it. So, yeah, that’s how it’s showing up in my relationships. I’m becoming a liar.
Kim: I’m apologizing for being myself.
Chanci: I just got up, went for a big huge hike today. I’m like, no, I just got up. It’s so funny.
Kim: It really becomes the language, the conversation, the way that you relate to. So when I was in Colorado, there were two gals that said they were going to be there. And I was like, “Well, maybe we can meet up.” And they were both projectors.
And so I got there early and one of them we went, she was like, “Well, I’m in the hotel room. I’m just kind of catching up.” And I was just like, “Oh my God, I’ve been here and here and here and here.” And it’s like not realizing that. And so we were together for a couple of hours and she needed to rest from my sacral. Like that she needed to go and unwind and unwrap that.
So that’s the next thing I wanted to ask is, how do you feel about being whenever you are with someone else’s defined motors? Like what is that experience? Have you guys kind of played around with that? It’s kind of what Chanci just said and what Sharon just explained about their partners. Is there a temptation to ride on that energy?
Kim: We had that conversation about like it’s all energy, it’s sexual energy, it’s moving energy. It’s that with being wide open you’re susceptible to filter that. So how has that affected you?
Chanci: Well, for sure, it affects me I can because I’ve always sort of lead with energy and I never really fully understood why I can feel them before they say anything, right? And it can be very exhausting. So one of the things that projectors in general do is sleep alone. And then as a mental projector that’s even more so.
So I really have to be very aware of that. And that’s one of the things that I love about Ian that I’m seeing, is that he is very defined manifesting generator and like super defined. And I wake up feeling refreshed.
So that to me, it’s like a really good sign of oh, this is a really good energy exchange. I can bring this in and I can feel good instead of wake up and feel– Because I’ve had a previous partner where I would wake up and I’d feel heavy and anxious, and I couldn’t understand what was going on. And then sleeping alone feels just like free and very clean. And then now it’s like waking up feeling refreshed and energized.
So I can really see how that impacts. And I can give a lot of examples, but sleeping next to someone that’s definitely like the most intimate example I can share.
Kim: So you can borrow it. But does it exhaust you if you borrow it too long? You know, if you try to utilize it and make it yours.
Chanci: Yeah, it can’t be mine. That’s, I think, very clean, you have to make sure you always know this is not mine and check in with what is mine and what is theirs. So it’s not so much borrowing, it’s more of just feeling into.
Kim: Nice. Sharon, you’re shaking your head, like you’ve noticed this with your your husband also?
Sharon: I notice for me he does, he has a very grounding effect on me. But I’m curious, in the future, I may play around with his energy. Because I know, or I should say I suspect that a lot of my energy is being drawn away due to deep bone infection in my jaw.
And so I’m having that surgery done later this fall. And I’m wondering that once that surgery is done and that I’m healed, that I’ll naturally get some energy back. Because even when I sleep alone, right now, I still wake up tired and unrefreshed. I don’t even know what it feels like to wake up refreshed. I mean, I can remember from when I was younger, but most of my adult, young adult to adult life I’ve been exhausted.
So I’m curious there in playing around with that energy because I have heard that a projector shouldn’t sleep with a generator or a manifesting generator. But in general, my husband does have this nice grounding effect on me, so I am very curious.
Kim: I was talking about this in Self Healing Masters this morning, there was a Q&A about it. And I was like, we have to be careful that we are experimenting and exploring and trying things on, and then discussing it, like dialoguing it like we are right now because it is an experiment.
And I find it so tempting to buy into some more rules and regulations and dogma. Because I have this gate or I have this define, I’m supposed to do this. When we start talking about supposed to again, just note that that is that temptation to be conditioned. It’s like even like you should get so many hours of this or you should be alone for this long, or you shouldn’t make a decision. I consider all of that conditioning also, it’s just conditioning by the system.
And so I want to just encourage that exploration, like what you’re talking about. You’re like, I’m going to explore it, I’m going to try it out. I was saying this morning on the call, try going to bed first, like being the first one to fall asleep. Try going in later, try another room, try somewhere else. We don’t know, no one knows. You’re a unique being, you’re designed completely different from anyone else.
And so we’re missing all the fun when we’re not exploring and investigating, in my opinion I think we are because we’re not leaving our wisdom. That’s what we’re here for is like we go and explore. And then here you go, we’re going to share. We’re going to share what we create, we’re going to share how we contribute, we’re going to share our uniqueness so that you can get a taste of that aspect of consciousness. Because we’re all it, but it’s not all highlighted.
So if you want a taste the generator, you’re getting it right now, right? So it’s like how do you feel? How do you feel right now whenever your coach is a generator or whenever you’re around others who are? That’s what we’re doing at retreat, we’re going to separate and kind of do this immersion and test it out and explore because it’s interesting. We don’t know. The mind wants to know, that’s the trick. The mind wants to know everything.
So welcome, Jennifer. Different time zone, I figured something would happen.
Jennifer: I’m sorry, I got held up. But I did want to come so hopefully that’s okay.
Kim: We just started off with what was the initial response when you found out about Human Design, when you found out you were a projector? Like when you realized that you had been acting like everyone else and then you suddenly had that realization, how was that experience for you?
Jennifer: Well, it was quite a relief initially, I must say. I was like, “Okay, this makes sense to me now why I’ve felt like I’ve always kind of seen things differently or known things that other people didn’t know, or researched things to the depth that other people don’t have any interest in researching.” So yeah, that was a relief.
But I must say in the last month or two, for some reason, it’s starting to like flip on me. And now I’m like, wait a minute, how do I make this projector sort of work for me too in my business, as a businessperson more? I think more as a businessperson like, okay, now wait a minute, if I’m a projector, how is that going to impact the way I grow my coaching business?
And so I’ve been looking into it more in that. It’s kind of making me kind of stop and think a little bit more too about how I’m doing my business.
Kim: Go back and listen to the beginning of this.
Kim: When Chanci shared, because they just shared that. And it really is being in your natural joy and then someone will recognize you and invite you. And Chanci and I went round and round with this for a good six months.
And I watch her, I think she is a beautiful example of the projector because she really embodied it. If you look at her pictures, if you look at her social media, she’s like picking mushrooms in the woods. And she’s like walking on the beach with her dog, Barks. And she’s hanging out in the backyard in the hot tub. And she’s just like indulging in this joyous pleasure that is her naturalness.
And it is magnetizing. It’s compelling, it draws you in, it’s captivating. But the mind, and the world, and the conditioning, and the suggestibility is that you have to push through and white knuckle and fight it and force it and do and do. And here’s the question, when you do that, how do you feel? When you try to make it happen how does it feel?
Jennifer: Yeah, it can feel frustrating, yeah, I think and lead to that bitterness that means you’re out of alignment. So noticing that, I think, is really important.
Kim: It’s so tempting, especially in the earlier years when you’re first learning about this. Because the neural pathways are so deep, and we’re just so trained to do it that way. How about you, Ashley, do you have any more feedback before we move to the next question?
Ashley: Yeah, I mean, just continuously learning that being in my pleasure and enjoying and being in that presence has been huge. And I’ve slowly gotten so much better. But it’s a continual, I find myself like, “I should be doing this,” you know?
And especially as I build my business and it’s like all the people you look at that are also coaches and all that they’re doing. And I remember my first time I had a Human Design reading, she told me, she was like, “You can’t compare yourself to them. They’re probably generators, they’re probably coaches that can produce mass amounts of content throughout the day and so on and so forth.”
So I’m like, “Okay, it’s so hard not to want to be that though.” Because you want to keep up with the algorithms and all the things. And really learning that I operate completely differently. Just staying connected to that has been huge.
Kim: Yeah, even for myself as a generator watching a manifesting generator. And listen, I’m a go-getter, right? I mean, my energy doesn’t die out quickly. And that’s something I’ve really had to learn, is to use it all up so that I do sleep at night. But when I watch some of these manifesting generators that I’m pretty close to a couple of, I mean, they just get it. They skip, but they come back to it just as fast and go.
And I had a moment of judging myself. And I was like, oh, this is so weird, because I have reflectors and projectors who are like, “I can’t keep up with you.” And that was like, oh, now I might get a taste for what they’re talking about.
We’re just going to kind of reel it in. I guess, what was your number one either aha or permission to settle into projector mode that you could speak to someone else. Like someone who’s just learning about this or maybe learned about it two years ago, put it away, had completely refused it.
Because I’ve had a friend, she actually said, “I create my own invitation. I just invite myself.” I’m not listening kind of thing. So I was like, “Well, if that’s your exploration and that’s what you’re figuring out. But when you find yourself not able to get off of the sofa for three days.” Or Chanci, you and I have had that conversation, I was like, “I don’t understand.” You’re like, “No, I can’t get up. Like, I’m down. I’m out. I’m finished.”
And that’s what I was going to say to you Jennifer, is you can go out and do what you see all of these marketing coaches doing. But then when the client does come, can you serve them?
Jennifer: Oh yeah, I feel so comfortable coaching. That is like, I mean, I definitely feel like that’s where I feel the best, is when I’m actually coaching and setting up the programs even. But the marketing part, I think, is where I’m feeling like what Ashley is saying. It’s like, “Oh, but I should be doing more. And there’s always more I could be doing. And what if I do that? And I should try that.”
And it might just be the mind, as you’re saying, is just getting too involved here in the business. And I heard someone say, I listened to a podcast and they’re talking about how projectors should use their minds for others, not for themselves. I guess are we defined in like–
Kim: It’s not that, it’s you are a guide. But you have to be invited to share that guidance. And so I was in a room two weeks ago on a Saturday with a projector. And she was young and she had all this experience and knowledge of Human Design and gene keys and she was sharing.
And so it was coming off though like she kind of started the conversation. And it felt like being like “Blah!” I mean, she was brilliant, I would love to have listened. But if I tell you, it was like angst in my body, I was just like, “Stop it.” And it was like information where if you’re a manifesting generator, you should do this so that you don’t skip steps. And I was like, “No, we want to embrace our design, we don’t want to change it.” It was that kind of conversation.
I was like it would have been interesting, if it would have been invited, how the conversation would have been different. So I’m just going to put that out there and say that that’s something to explore. That when you are trying to be heard or you’re trying to guide without the invitation, how does it feel to you?
Jennifer: And that’s what I think I was saying, is it’s like my mind is not to just dump on people because I know all this, it’s for me not to use it to but to wait for the invitation. And then it’s for them. It’s what I’ve learned that relates to them. It’s not me deciding, “Oh, this is what they need to know.” And that’s like you’re saying, how does that feel inside? And once the invitation is there, then we can use our guide, what we’ve learned.
Kim: Yeah, it’s super clear when they ask for it.
Kim: I notice that even for myself. So I get a lot of ideas and downloads and I want to share it with everybody because it’s so exciting and it’s so fun. And so I did some mentoring with people who’ve been in Human Design for like over 25 years. And the suggestion was, when you have these ideas just allow it to drop down. And when it’s clear, it will come up.
And that is where Self Healing Masters and E-school and all of that stuff, I mean, it was like exactly what. But when I was trying to convince or share or like kind of feed it out looking for that other person to do it with, it was messy. And you guys were like, “I don’t understand. I’m not sure, it’s not clear.”
And then whenever I was really, really clear after it had already transmuted and then turned into this gift, it was so easy. So I’m imagining it’s kind of like whenever you’re like, “I have all this wisdom and I can guide, I can tell them. Like, oh, won’t you just invite me?” You know, how does that feel? And that I’m going to ask you that right now, we’ll just go around the room.
When you were in that setting, Chanci, you were talking about you were in a mastermind with these go-getters, or you were in this community with like management, or you’re on the nurse’s floor and you’ve got to get in there and do it. And you have something to share, but you’re following your strategy and authority and you’re not sharing it because you’re waiting for the invitation, what’s happening inside of you?
Is there like some impatience? Is there like, “Ah, I really want to share” What are you experiencing emotionally?
Chanci: I’ll go, I’ll take that as an invite.
Kim: You’re all invited.
Chanci: We’re all invited, okay. Yeah, how this has played out huge for me is I think it’s partly to do with as a mental projector when I’m in a group I feel like it’s on me to make sure everyone’s comfortable.
I can feel everyone’s energy and I go in and I’m like, “I have to make sure that this person feels included and that this person is talked to, and this person is whatever they’re saying.” I’ve always taken so much responsibility for everyone’s experiences.
And understanding my strategy and authority, now I’ve made the conscious decision to be able, and I’ve been doing this for a while now, but to go into groups and just be quiet. And how that feels, to me is tremendous angst. It’s in my chest heaviness, tightness in my shoulders, my stomach quite often will feel super nauseous. It’s a huge discomfort.
So a strategy that I did is I’m like, “Okay, I need to be able to like figure this out.” So I started taking a little bit of CBD oil just to calm myself down before I went into social situations like that. Because I knew I was going to sink into my authority, or my strategy, I keep getting those mixed up.
But it really has, it really helped. And now I don’t need to do that because, again, my nervous system is calm, going, “You are safe. You don’t need to take charge of the whole situation here and wait for the invitation.” So it’s really freed me up to be able to go, “I can just be here and not have to manage the whole scene.”
So now it’s great, but it definitely did feel really uncomfortable at first.
Kim: I can totally relate to that as myself waiting to respond. I was like, “I’m so bored.” I wanted to come out of my body because it was so uncomfortable because I was so in that just going and doing and being so super responsible. Like what you’re talking about, make sure everybody’s happy, make sure everything’s done.
And so whenever I started practicing that, oh my god, it was like immense suffering for me. It’s getting easier and now I need a direct question to respond because I’ve kind of like really settled in and trained that. How about the rest of you? Sharon, you’ve probably been doing it long enough to have experienced what it’s like to wait.
Sharon: Yes, and it’s much easier now. Because I’m thinking about like one of the last few meetings before I retired. And that I would be quiet in a meeting because anytime I spoke up, I was spoken over. And so there was always like this constriction here in my throat. I was just kind of just tight and frustrated with not being able to have my voice being heard.
And even when I was invited sometimes, I would start speaking and somebody would overrun. That was very frustrating. But now I see the gift in myself of being an observer. I like to hear what everybody has to say, but I want you to stay on topic. So I like to try to reign people back in.
I think now I don’t offer quite as much. I try to shorten very little, like a little soundbite. And then some people will grab that soundbite and offer an invitation. But I’m becoming much more comfortable with understanding all the different sectors that people, that’s just how people are running. I don’t know if that’s answering quite your question.
Kim: I wanted to know if you all felt the angst that I felt when I was waiting. We all have to wait, by the way. I think projectors get a bad rap about waiting on that invitation, but we’re all waiting. Even some of the manifesters are waiting to respond, to be invited. It’s like there’s a very, very small percentage that should not be waiting. But that is not how we’ve been taught, right? That’s not how we’ve been trained.
And we have trained ourself to work the way that we have been trained. And so that’s what we’re breaking through, that deconditioning, so that we can do it differently so it can be sustainable. Which is my cross, incarnation cross, is really having a sustainable, better experience in the material world. And so it’s like, of course, that’s been my challenge also. Anybody else?
Ashley: And then when you finally get that invitation? You do, you vomit on people because you’re like, “Hallelujah, I have an opportunity here so I’m going to give you everything from A to Z and 1 to 200 million all in five minutes.”
Kim: Can everybody relate? Yeah, they’re all nodding their heads.
Yeah, for sure. Well, and maybe it’s also I have my chance so I need to get it all in because if I don’t, yeah, what’s going to happen?
Kim: I don’t know when I’ll get invited again.
Yeah, when I’ll get invited again. And I think there is this desire to share, I just think I have that. And it’s tricky, because people don’t, yeah, they don’t always want to hear it for sure. Or they’re not ready to hear it or, or they think that you think, I don’t know.
Sometimes I think when I was in the workplace and I was working with a lot of men, and I would say things and they would just be like, “What? You’re not supposed to know that” or like you’re too big for your britches kind of stuff. And that held me back sometimes, too. I don’t know if you guys ever experienced that.
Ashley: I definitely noticed just when I would share when it wasn’t invited, people would get glazed over. And I’m like, “Oh, is that too much?” And sometimes it would be like really deep. And I’ve I’ve noticed those times where it’s like, well, it would be the invite, but maybe not the invite that was all of it was needed in it.
Kim: You’re invited for coffee, not the whole meal.
Kim: All right. So, Sharon, you’re outnumbered, everyone here is a 6/2. I’m looking at the crowd. So I want to thank you for coming on and expressing and sharing your experience. There’s no right or wrong. We’re all figuring it out. I don’t claim to know it all.
The whole reason for Self Healing Masters is so that we can discover and live our design in a way that we do it together, self-taught, group-taught and being able to immerse into it and then integrate what we want to keep into our life so that we can create better health, wealth, and relationships.
So I want to thank you for coming on and answering and kind of mingling with each other. Of course, you’re all in the group and we’ll see you there. But is there anything that you wanted to maybe share with someone who’s just learning about being a projector with Human Design that you think you would have liked to have heard at the beginning? We’ll start with Chanci, then Ashley, Jennifer, and Sharon.
Chanci: I think it’s being compassionate. And it’s not something I didn’t hear, it’s something that I did hear. And it was being compassionate and gentle in the process because it takes time to decondition. And you’re never there, and I think that’s it too. Like we rush, we rush, we rush, we want to be there. And then it’s like, oh, slowing down. So compassion and just getting curious and have fun with it.
Kim: How about you, Ashley? Thanks Chanci.
Ashley: Yeah, I would absolutely agree with the having more fun with my energy and understanding more my role of an overseer, orchestrator, rather than someone in the trenches, just go go, go, go, go. And really like stepping back and appreciating my gifts for what they are.
Kim: I saw your Instagram when you were like, “I need to dance more often.” And you could just feel it coming through the screen. So excited about it. That’s that magnetism, right? That’s that draw whenever you’re in that element, and I see it with Chanci too when she’s in the forest. And she’s making me jealous because they really don’t want us in their country. But like I’m coming, we’re going to do a retreat there.
Chanci: Please. Please.
Kim: I’ll go to Sharon.
Sharon: What comes to the forefront of my mind is that you’re not being a spoiled brat for going on daily hikes, for sitting in your hot tub or your sauna, or relaxing on the deck reading a book while also doing some work. That is something that I really wish I would have known all the way through. All the way through.
That it’s okay to be slow instead of all this beating myself up for being slow, for being a mush. Just the acceptance that you’re not a spoiled brat, you’re just living who you are. And there are gifts
Kim: I would imagine that is a big pressure push from society, huh?
Kim: Jennifer, did you remember?
Jennifer: Yeah, I would just say that I think what I would just agree with others in that the compassion that you want to have for yourself as you learn more about your design. And if you are a projector, the difference that we bring to this, our design is needed and it’s important. And to go ahead and have compassion for yourself as you decondition from what you thought you were supposed to be.
Kim: Love that. All right, guys, this is what we have for you this week. All of these amazing projectors are coaches with a different specialty or a different niche, which I so appreciate the guidance that you guys are giving to the world, your contribution from your own personal experience.
And so we’re just going to go around the room before we close out and you can just say what your specialty is or who you serve. Chanci?
Chanci: Yeah, so I am an embodiment eating coach. So what I really do is help women heal their relationships with food and their bodies so they can live a life of freedom. That is my absolute joy.
Kim: And we’re going to put your links below, but I know you’re on Instagram and you’re on Facebook. I think your It tastes like freedom?
Chanci: It Tastes Like Freedom, yeah, that’s my signature program.
Kim: Great. Sharon?
Sharon: I am a chronic fatigue coach. So I help people who have chronic fatigue from an auto immune illness, chronic illness, CFS, or simply adrenal fatigue, or living with chronic stress to heal from the inside out and regain energy.
Kim: And Sharon has a book that was just published.
Sharon: Yeah, Tired yet Wired: Breaking Your Chronic Fatigue Cycle, you can find it on Amazon.
Kim: Thank you. Ashley.
Ashley: I’m an integrative coach, I really look at people’s limiting beliefs, their repressed emotions, and different areas of their physical health. Really how to integrate and bring those all three into alignment. And then, of course, I incorporate spirituality as well, depending on where people are on their journey. Because I think all four aspects are really important in terms of feeling like your most aligned true self.
Kim: Thank you. And Jennifer.
Jennifer: I am helping women over 50 who are breaking free of diet culture and really wanting to instead focus in on their health. Their physical health, their mental health, and really make this last part of their life, their life and really step into their own. So through eating better, sleeping better, feeling better.
Kim: And moving. I learned about pickleball form Jennifer.
Jennifer: Yeah, pickleball. Yeah, starting a new sport, getting going. Yeah, especially with movement, yeah.
Kim: Yeah, so we’re going to link that all below. And thank you, we’ll pick this up in Self Healing Masters. Those who want to come and learn more about their design, live their design, explore, understand, whatever that is to you.
And if you’re looking for one on one help to move through, especially if you’re a projector and this sounded familiar. You know that these are women who have been through it and who are helping others. Because really, that’s what it takes, we have to embody the process, right? The solutions in order to truly be able to share it with someone else, if we want to be in our strategy, and our design, and our alignment.
I think there’s plenty of people that match and we don’t have to play by the competition of the world. We can truly just embody. And I love using Human Design to discover what that is.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.