In past episodes, I have talked a lot about “imposter syndrome” and how it can make us feel like we aren’t experts (when we are!), ultimately leaving our businesses in a slump. This feeling obscures the work that actually needs to be done and stops you from having the impact you want.
On today’s show, we’re talking about the imposter story and how you can let go of the underlying beliefs that you aren’t good enough. When you release that imposter story, you can look beyond the veil and see exactly what you are and what you need to do.
Lean in and learn about how you can approach clients as a mirror and help them rid their thoughts of everything that is outside and live a life free of shame.
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- How you can let go of the shame of what has happened in your life.
- Why it is important to differentiate thought from fact and an exercise to discern between them.
- How to reframe thoughts so you can be a more accurate judge of your stories.
- How you can see beyond the veil of the imposter story and change how you see yourself and your clients.
- What is holding you back and keeping you stifled in your work with clients.
- How to bring certainty into your practice by releasing the imposter story.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with Clarity and Confidence Coach Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve, with your skills and experience, to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Hey, hey, hey, ladies and possible gentlemen. How are you? I am amazing. Today, I am going to continue with the content from last week, so if you have not heard yet, you may want to go back and listen to it first.
Okay, so what I talked about was shame and lack of joy, ease, and being; the freedom to be who you are, and bring your medicine forward into the world. So this is what I talked about last week, and I brought it down to understanding repression, suppression, and oppression, which those are all denial of self.
It’s denial of part of your humanity, whether it’s an emotion, or it’s like you’re trying not to believe that something is true, and so then you suppress the information, or you suppress the way you feel or you — it’s like this form of denial, right? And this causes, I kind of went on the deep end and talked about, I believe depression is a result.
Like, I think it is a circumstance that is created from a certain way of being. So depression is a way of being. When I looked it up in the dictionary, depression, it was the feeling; a feeling of despondency or the feeling of sadness, so it was an actual feeling. But I believe that that feeling comes from the result of certain thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
And so, of course, if you are not being yourself, you are going to feel unsafe. You’re going to feel unsure. You are going to actually start shying yourself away so that you can hide who you truly are. We do this because of shame or because we are told to reject the very essence of our being.
Guys, this is kind of deep stuff, right? I think it’s worth talking about again, taking it into another episode. So, we end up with this disconnect because we don’t feel like we belong. We don’t feel like we’re the right way, like we shouldn’t be like this.
You’ll see this with people who have been divorced and divorce is against their religion, or someone who has had an abortion, someone who has someone in their family who has succeeded at suicide, or someone who is an alcoholic, someone who has done something of human nature, at some point in their life, and continues to hold the shame of the story; like they never let themselves off the hook.
And so they hide, they repress it. Repress it is when they unconsciously just hide it, don’t even know they are. Or, they suppress it, which is they intentionally force it away. Like, they reject emotion, either way. They reject, or denial. And the biggest reason for this is actually the oppression in the environment, whether that comes from your actual tribe, from your home unit, from the environment that you live in, from the community.
Maybe if you are a coach on social media, or you are someone who – well, most of you that I talk to are. You know, you are professionals, and it’s like you should be perfect, right? You shouldn’t have any secrets. You shouldn’t have things that are not perfect.
If you’re saying you’re a coach or you’re a therapist, you should be the professional, right? If you’re in the medical world, you should not be one of the ones who are sick or who are hiding. That’s the oppression, right? It’s this belief of perfection, and so that creates a lot of shame.
So today, I want to move forward with taking this into – I know you’ve heard me talk about imposter syndrome. I’m going to take this into what I’m calling the imposter story. It’s not quite what you think. This actually came through while I was in a coaching session this week, and I wrote it down and it’s like, I’m totally going to take this concept and run with it because it made so much sense.
So, if we have shame, then we will lack ease, flow, freedom; we will lack joy, because we can’t be all that we are, so we hide it. Okay, so this is going to help you take your clients deeper. It’s part of what I teach about in the coach training. You know, this is a practical, applicable training. You actually receive the information and you receive the tools.
We use it on you personally. We imprint it into your way of being. We discard of the story that is not you; the conditioning, the patterns, the whatever the program is that you’ve been plugged into all of your life up until now.
We discard of that. We cut it away, kind of like they cut away at the placenta when you’re born. And then it’s like, we kind of get plugged into this program where we’re going to cut the program away, and then we’re going to plug you into divine source. We’re going to plug you into your creator, into your reason of being. Does that make sense? Yes.
And then, you’re going to come to fully owning that, and then you are going to help other people do it too. This is how we create the movement, this is how we create the shift in humanity, so that people can start coming into this space of empowerment. So they can gain power and control of their life, of their mind, of their money, their relationships, of their health. I’m giving you all the secrets here, you know that, right? You better be coming on over.
I’m teaching about all this on my Kim Guillory Coach page on Facebook this month. It’s free training for entrepreneurs, coaches, wellness leaders, anyone who’s trying to launch their business and kind of running into the brick wall, or smashing their own face, because they just can’t get it started, so they’re kind of beating themselves up in frustration.
It’s all for you. You get 30 days of free coach training that you can go and listen to, if you go to the page and you hit videos. It will take you down to every single one and you can start at the beginning. I took questions from clients, as well as people on social media, and some sent in by email, and I just address some of those questions. So, probably, some of your questions are there.
This is a big one. This imposter story or imposter syndrome. I’m going to claim imposter story because I want to show you what I figured out. First thing, you have to know the difference between a thought and a fact. Guys, this is magic. This is the part of mindset that really matters.
Now, the work that I do is I take you beyond mindset. That’s why this podcast is called More Than Mindset. I take you into emotional processing. But for this particular moment, right now, I want to use mindset. I want you to notice, just take a particular circumstance that’s happening in your life right now, and write down your thought about it.
So first, you’re going to write down, what is the circumstance? Now, it has to be very legit. Like, you have to be able to prove it in a court of law. It has to be neutral. So, no matter who’s looking at it, it does not trigger. You know all about trigger training, right?
So, let’s just say, we’re going to talk about your business. I have two clients. Let’s see if this is you. Maybe you have no clients, maybe you have 20 clients, but you put whatever it is. I have two clients. That’s super neutral. It’s like anybody can have two clients. It’s no big deal. Like, yay, that’s great. Or, hey, that’s fine. Right? Just very simple.
But what is your thought about two clients? Like your personal thought? Is that like, but that’s not legit? That’s not for real, you should have more. Right? Think about, what is your thought? The first line you’re going to write how many clients you have, or how much money you make. And the second line, you’re going to write your thought about how many clients you have, or how much money you make.
Now, I want you to really sink into this thought. Don’t just write it down. I want you to say it and then I want you to feel how you feel when you say it. “I will never get more than two clients.” Maybe that’s your thought.
How does that feel? Like drop down into your body, out of your head, go to your throat, go to your heart, go to your belly. How do you feel when you think the thought, “I will never get more clients,” or, “This is taking too long?”, “This is so hard.” “I don’t know how to attract the right clients.”
Or then you can use my famous words, which is like, “The bridge is broken and I can’t.” Like, “I don’t know how to bring in a steady flow of traffic.” Like, that was my forever story. I want you to really sit with this, and then write down not just the fill-in word, and I know you guys, so if you don’t have your fillers turned on, you’re going to try to tell me, like, “It feels like.” That’s not what I want. I want the actual feeling word. Does it feel like shame? Does it feel like fear? Does it feel like defeat? Does it feel depressing? Like, what do you feel?
And then when you feel that, what’s the action that you take? And so let’s just say I have two clients, this is too hard, and then you feel defeated. And then what is the action you take? Is you spin in your head, and you indulge in all of the reasons proving that it’s a terrible idea, and that it’s hard, and that it’ll never happen, and that it’s taking too long. Can you see what I’m saying?
And guess what your results are going to be? It’s going to come right from your actions. Your results are going to be no more clients. Because this is actually what you’re creating. It’s too hard. It’s going to be super hard, because you believe it’s hard. So, that’s for you to investigate.
Now, what I want to talk to you about is the difference between the thought and the fact. And that is, many of you will come to me and say, “I don’t have any clients. This is taking too long. I’m not making any money.” But I want to know exactly what does that mean? When you say, “I’m not making any money.” That is a thought. But if you tell me, “I’ve only made $1,500 so far.” The fact is I made $1,500 dollars. Neutral. That’s the fact.
Here’s the problem. What do you think or believe about that fact? If you think it’s a bad thing, you’re going to feel bad. If you think it’s exciting, because you made your first $1,500, then you’re going to feel great. But can you see how it changes according to the person that’s thinking about it?
So, I may speak to someone who’s been doing this for a few years, and their circumstance is, “I have six clients.” And their thought is, “This is taking too long. It’ll never happen. I’ve been doing this for five years. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” Whereas another person may say, “Oh my God, that’s amazing! How much money is that?” So the difference is, what is your judgment, comparison, opinion? That’s your thought. Isn’t that fascinating?
All right, so let’s talk about taking your clients deeper, because until you recognize what are thoughts and what are facts, then you are going to keep believing your story, and then you’re not going to be able to help them quit believing theirs.
That is because life is a mirror, and we all have a veil. It’s this veil of perception. It’s really a veil of deception. You’ve been deceived to believe that what you see – what you perceive is real. Whoo, some big words.
All right, so the veil, imagine there’s like, we’re at the theater and the curtain is down. It’s really thick and you can’t see behind it. That’s the veil, like it’s in front of your eyes. If you’re Christian and you’ve read the Bible, then we talked, do you remember when Saul was saying how the veil was removed from his eyes? Like, the veil fell, and then he became Paul. He went from being a certain person to being a different person.
That is because his personal reality changed. His personality changed. He went from Saul to Paul. He’s still the same man, now, still got the same physical body. Was he on a donkey? I think he was on a donkey. What changed is his perception, his view, his lens. He was now able to see life in a different way, because he is now looking from beyond the veil.
Now, today’s age in time, you will hear people talk about different dimensions. We will talk about veils, we will talk about seeing beyond, seeing on the other side, like that kind of stuff; the quantum field, the universe. Does that make sense? It’s not a scary thought, guys. It’s just words. It’s just languaging. So, we can take this all the way back and probably even before Saul, before he became Paul.
I want to get you to see it right here, right now, today. If I can get you to take a peek beyond the veil, that you are seeking right now, that can truly change your practice and your clients; their transformation, and how far you take them in this moment. It’s fascinating, right?
All right, so let me take this back to where I came in, which is the imposter story. So, once you realize that it’s just a mirror, that your clients are just showing you a mirror, and you are showing them a mirror, you’re not actually saving them or healing them or curing them, whatever it is.
You’re holding the space, once you do not believe in your story anymore, you’ve got to remember, this has to come first. You don’t believe the story anymore, you now realize that you can see things differently because you’re looking through a different veil, a different lens, and your perception has changed.
So now, you’re going to come into their story with neutrality, and you’re not going to buy their stinking thoughts. End of story. I could stop the podcast right here, right? If you can get this, guys, this will change everything for you. You really need to see that there is a difference between your thoughts and your circumstances.
Your thoughts and your facts, your judgment, your opinion, the way you think it should be, or shouldn’t be, whatever this oppression, suppression, repression, whatever these habits are that you have had are what’s getting in the way of you seeing this story, and having this breakthrough for yourself. And so if you’re struggling with taking your clients deeper, it’s possibly because of the veil that you are not able to see beyond.
All right, so here’s a secret. It’s the willingness to stay, and you’ve got to really watch this, because what happens is when you can’t see it, you get really defensive. When you’re defensive, you resist. You resist hearing the information. You turn this off, you say this is hogwash, because you can’t understand it, don’t know what she’s talking about, she’s speaking in another language, and then you won’t receive the help.
I want to really encourage you to stay with what I’m saying, maybe go back and listen to it again, and see if you could be willing to stay and let all of the questions come up and come to the surface. Let that come up and let them wash away. Make sure you’re taking some deep exhales. Remember the fog, the dust, leaves on the exhale, and that’s moving old, stagnant energy, which are old beliefs.
Careful, notice if you get defensive. But I’m going to tell you right now, if you don’t have somebody holding this space for you, and you like, “I don’t know what she’s talking about, this is crazy,” you need to call your coach, or you need to call me, or you need to get someone to hold the space for you, because that is why so many coaches are frustrated.
And if you can truly see this, you can help yourself break through blocks in your own business, because it’s the thought is creating this sensation, and then what happens is, you get caught in the hook, and so the thought gets lodged in the emotional signature, whether it’s fear or shame. So imagine, I’m going to take you fishing in a minute, by the way, when we wrap this up.
So imagine the hook hooks into the emotional signature, and now you have the thought and the emotional signature just going in this circle. They’re spinning in your head and you’re stuck in the loop. Okay? This is what’s propelling or compelling you to take all of the actions that you are taking, which are coming from the fight, flight, freeze. It’s causing you to stop, to not move forward, to not, like, be committed to your plan, to not put yourself out there, and to keep stifling your story. And that’s why you get the results that you get.
So, I’m going to take you fishing now. So now that you understand the hook, right? Your thought creates a sensation. You’re locked in the trigger of the sensation. Now you’re hooked on a role, and now you put up a wall, you get defensive, you can’t hear me, you can’t hear yourself. You don’t see it, you don’t see it. You get – most of you get pissed off.
It’s like, it’s almost like – and I’m laughing right now, because I have been in this situation so many times, and I know it’s not funny. But, I mean, I know the frustration of trying to unlock this stuff, guys. It’s tough. That’s why coaching is so amazing.
So, let me give you an example. The imposter story. This whole entire 20 minutes was just for me to get to this one point. What I believe the imposter story is, I cannot see all that I am. Imposter syndrome is when you have this shame about saying you have this gift or craft or service, and you don’t feel worthy of it, you don’t feel confident in it. That is the imposter syndrome.
I believe, or what this concept I just created here in this coach call is, the imposter story is the inability to see your own magic. Your inability to see your own worth and value. You cannot see all that you are. So imposter story is, I cannot see all that I am.
Y’all, boof! Seriously? This is why you’re not putting yourself out there. This is why you have shame. This is why you don’t have ease, flow and freedom in your being. This is why you are not in your expert authority. This is why you have feelings of depression, or results of depression. This is why you are oppressing, suppressing, and repressing.
It’s this – we are humans here to have an experience of evolving and growing. We are here to understand so that we can have compassion, so that we can come to this unconditional love, so that we can be a mirror for unconditional love in the world. Period, end of story, that is it. Whatever else is lined up, it’s just a bonus. Our actual understanding of this experience is all about our soul essence truly expressing itself in this human form.
Take that truth, let it be drop into your heart or your belly. Like, do you center in the sacral chakra, in the solar plexus, or in the heart? Like, drop down into the part of your body that knows. Take a few breaths. Imagine, here we go fishing again, imagine you have an anchor. You’re pulling the breath and you’re dropping it down through the throat, through the heart, through the belly, all the way down.
I want you to feel the solidity and the certainty in your body, that you are doing the work that you’ve been called to do. You are super passionate; you are certain that this is the calling. You know this is the work you want to do. I want you to feel that with 100 percent certainty, out of the head and into the body.
Now, I want you to imagine that you are in a lake and you’re underwater, you’re underneath. So, we’ll take a rod and reel. We’re going to go fishing. And you see the little bobber on top of the water. I want you to pull the bobber, so pull the string, pull the bobber under the water with you. Feel really solid and certain. You are in the abyss when you’re in the water. You feel super safe. This is the environment of your spirituality. This is the environment of your knowing.
Let that sensation come into your body right here, right now. Feel that knowing, the solidity, the certainty, getting really grounded in all that you are and all that you know; grounded in the passion, in the purpose, in the serving that you want to offer. Be really, really, really grounded in that.
And then imagine, you want to take that certainty, it’s inside of your body, guys, I want you to notice it is inside of your body. It’s in your belly or in your heart. And now you’re going to come up like the bobber, you’re going to come up into the water. You’re going to feel the air on your head, you’re going to use the human sensations, you’re going to feel, and then you’re going to see. The first thing that comes out of the water is your eyes, and you’re going to see all around you.
That is the earthly realm. Down in the abyss is the spiritual realm. So, come up a little bit more and then you can smell. You can smell the water, you can smell the suntan lotion, you can smell whatever it is out there. Maybe you’ll smell the fresh air, and then come up a little bit higher, and then you will have your ears, you will be able to hear. You can hear the person in the boat nearby, you can hear the kids laughing, you can hear the leaves rustling.
Okay, come up a little bit higher, and then you can actually speak and express what you are experiencing. That is humanity. Feeling, seeing, touching, hearing, this ever-knowing is coming from below. And so if you are having trouble grounding in your business, grounding in your knowing, and in your expert authority, always come down. Pull the cord, pull the bobber down, into your belly, into your heart, where you are certain, this is my full experience in this earthly realm. I am here to do this work.
Right? It’s this energy. See if you can drop into that, bringing it into your own body, because here’s the beauty. If you can come to this space and experience it very often, you will be able to experience it out there in any community, in any tribe, no matter what’s going on around you. Because you will come to recognize that it is within you. It is inside of you. What you are seeking is not on the outside, it is not the approval and understanding of others.
I promise you, you are looking and seeking your own knowing and approval. And so if you can find this right here, right now, and you can allow this to create an imprint within your being, within your physical body, in this physical realm, you will always be able to go back to this place of certainty. And this is where you create from.
If you recall, I just did a session on the Flaw of Attraction. This is what I’m talking about. The Flaw of Attraction is when you can’t come to this feeling sensation, where you can’t come to this place of certainty, this place of knowing, and feel it through your being. Now, what you can do is once you come here and you drop into this and you’re feeling this certainty, and you’re seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting, right? You’re seeing all around you, that is just the mirror. That is life just showing up for you.
The answers are inside of you. There is no one that knows better than you. There’s no website program, there’s no particular system or anything. It’s, your magic is within you. It is your job to get rid of the conditioning, get rid of the systems, get rid of the pattern, get rid of what is not working for you, so you can tap into this authority, so you can tap into this alignment.
I hope this was helpful and that it truly gave you a place to go to, so that you can come back here and continue to repeat it, and let that imprint grow stronger and stronger and stronger, until it stamps as a part of your being. Because once you can truly allow yourself to be, then you will have the freedom to express yourself.
And this is where you create organic marketing. It’s this not believing the old story, the old conditioning, the old pattern, and truly believing the essence of who you are on every level. Mental, the way you think; emotionally, the way you feel. Giving yourself permission to feel, the right to feel.
Stop suppressing and repressing. Get out of the oppression of believing that you are not a human having physical sensation and emotion in your body. Everything, when it comes to your health, your wealth and your relationships, either you have control of them, or they have control of you.
Guys, this is how you create ease, flow, and freedom. This is how you create abundance. This is how you step into your authority of your business. This is you. The imposter story is, “I cannot see all that I am.” To step into the courage, that daring courage, that’s going to create the confidence that you seek in all that you already are.
All right, I hope that was helpful and it makes sense. Come on over to The Integrative Life if you want to give some feedback on it. Make sure you share this with your friends, if you think there’s someone out there who is in oppression, if they are suppressing and repressing, and if maybe it is affecting their health and their business and their relationships. Especially if it is someone that – maybe it’s a client for you. I’ve had quite a few of my clients who send their clients over to the podcast, just to help integrate that we’re saying the same thing.
This is how we create the impact. We do it as a movement. We do it as collaboration, we do it together, and that is something that I really pride myself on in the coach training is we have an amazing high-minded community that we network together and we support each other through our own personal transformation, but even through referrals and holding the space and cheering each other on.
You don’t feel like you’re out there doing it alone. It’s like you’re truly being seen in that expert authority energy. You’re truly being appreciated. You’re being heard, you’re being acknowledged. This is such a beautiful thing, guys. This is not in some of us, it is in all of us.
Just because you don’t get called under the oak trees for Oprah to tell the world who you are so you can have instant business does not mean that you don’t have something valuable to share. It doesn’t matter what your platform and stage looks like. What matters is that you come into the confidence of all that you are, so you can lay this imposter story to rest, and so you can truly step into the authenticity of seeing all that I am.
Tell yourself that. I see all that I am. I acknowledge all that I am. I love all that I am. And hold on to that, let it imprint, come to it every single day. Every morning, download it. I call this like bleeding out disbelief, where I really take in the belief of this work and of my authentic gift or craft. I just bring it all the way down to the bone marrow, and I don’t get up and move forward with my day until I’m in really sincere belief. Alright, until next week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset. If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to health, wealth and relationships, head over to www.portal.KimGuillory.com to learn more about the portal. It’s a membership community where we take this work deeper, apply the concepts, and coach around the tough stuff.
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