Ep #145: Individuality

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello, hello, and welcome back. I’ve got a short and powerful one for you today. First of all, I just want to give you a little catch up of what’s been going on. I have a lot of hair missing off of my head. I’m hearing that it’s a post Covid thing. Several friends and I were discussing it and they’re kind of in the same situation as I. I put it on Facebook, got probably close to 200 comments and then someone sent me a screenshot that it was on the news today, kind of the same thing.

So that’s what’s happening in my neck of the woods. So if you see me with a little teeny tiny ponytail, that’s what’s happening. It is what it is. I’m going to do what I can to take care of myself and my understanding is the body is in survival mode and it was trying to figure out how to keep living and hair was not top of the priority, or the exterior things. So I think that’s pretty interesting. There’s some articles on it, you can look it up, just Google it, there’s plenty out there.

And the other thing that’s going on is I have been doing client research and I’ve come across a lot of information. So I was working on some copy for E-School and Self Healing Masters and I reached out to my coaching community and asked the healing focused coaches who hadn’t made $50,000 yet if they would hop on a call with me so we can discuss exactly why, which I thought was super interesting.

And I have been really focusing a lot on mindset. As much as I think it’s so important, but there is more that mindset, right? You guys do know that. If you’re listening to this, I believe you know that. And what I noticed in talking to some of these coaches, because these were not my clients, many of them I had never spoken to before.

I got 65 responses, which I think is pretty interesting that there were healing focused coaches in there that I did not know about. So I’m kind of wondering if they’re in hiding, because I do believe it is time to heal the witch wound per se. All this stench about healing and it being so scary, and you can’t help other people. I don’t believe any of it so I don’t want to spend any time on it. But I believe there is still a lot of people who do believe it.

So I want to say let’s free that. Let’s really heal that old wound, that healer’s wound and start coming out. If you’re feeling shame about it, let’s work on it. If you’re feeling self-doubt or fear or worried about what other people think about you, guys, it’s like you have everything at risk because you can’t put this out. I’m just going to let you know, I tried many, many years. You cannot put out this passion to serve, this commitment to contribute and help humanity.

We’re equipped this way, can’t get rid of it. And I think what’s happening in there, you’re seeing this with the celebrity coaching world and it’s all about the money, and the awards, and the top dollar this. And there’s something that’s happening in there that people are using that against themselves as if they’re not worthy because they’re not making that kind of money, or their community is not that big, or they don’t have that many followers or that many clients. And that is simply not true.

The amount of money does no determine someone’s worthiness. Every single one of you are as worthy as the other. That is exactly what we’re healing. No one is better than someone else. And this trying to be like everyone else is actually harming us. Really consider that.

I mean how are you feeling when you’re judging and comparing? How are you feeling when you’re trying to be someone else? That doesn’t feel good to you, it doesn’t feel good in your body.

So that brings me to the topic today which is individuality. The quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, especially when strongly marked. Especially when strongly marked, this is what I mean by that passion to serve.

Guys, this is in you, it’s in a part of you. Give yourself permissions to allow it to come on board, to fully integrate and embody it into your being so that your soul essence can express it in the most beautiful way. Because that is going to bring you satisfaction. That is going to bring you your own healing, is when you finally receive and accept yourself and all of your powers.

And I throw the little witch word around, it’s like I’m joking and I’m not because that is where all of that is coming from when we start talking about healing or spirituality or – Let me stop, let me stop. Let me get back to my topic.

So individuality is that actual quality of who you are that is different from everyone else. Different from everyone else. Please, please, please be the different. Be unique. It’s going to give you so much more than even money will give you.

Matter of fact, once you’re in integrity and authenticity and wholeness, and you’ve embodied this aspect of yourself, abundance is yours. It’s going to come very easily, it’s just going to flow your way because you’re actually being the person who’s going to attract the people that you are meant to work with.

That magnetism is going to come from inside of you. You’ll have plenty of clients, plenty of satisfaction. Quit looking at what you are not and quit trying to be what you are not. But you have to first accept yourself.

So if you’re feeling like you’re not seen, feeling like you’re not heard, you’re not validated, it’s because you’re not seeing, hearing and validating yourself. If you don’t take anything else away from the show today, take that.

It is not about other people seeing you. It’s not about other people validating you. It’s about you validating you, you taking ownership of your uniqueness, really dropping into the body. This doesn’t happen in the intellectual mind, it doesn’t happen with mindset. You cannot mindset your way to belief, you have to feel it viscerally, neurologically. All of you has to feel it and believe it.

So I’m going to talk about this little pie. Imagine you have a pie and it’s cut in four pieces. And one piece is the physical body, the mental body, the spiritual body, and the emotional body. So that’s the four parts.

The physical body has been handed over to the medical community, right? They are the authority. They are the ones you go to when you need something done or healed in your physical world.

And then you have the mental body, which is psychiatry or psychiatrists who have taken authority of your mind. And then you have the spiritual body, which is all about religion, spiritual communities, pastors and priests and gurus.

And then we have the emotional body. So that’s the fourth part. That’s the missing piece, right? No one, no one has authority of that. No one has taught us that. We are supposed to be the authority of all of these, but we have been split. We’ve been split by society, by conditioning, generational patterning, even the medical community.

It’s not your fault, it’s just the way it’s been. This is what we’re changing. This is what we’re healing. And so if you’re listening to this and you are a healing focused coach, or entrepreneur, or practitioner holistically driven, that’s what we’re talking about. The holistic puzzle piece, right? It’s that pie, that all four of these bodies; physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional are all on board and seamless. Not separate, but seamless. That is what creates wholeness. And that is what creates individuality.

And so if there’s a part of you missing, that’s not integrated, not embodied, then you’re going to be looking outside of yourself to fill that spot. Do you see what I’m saying? So if you don’t get it from within yourself, you’re going to look out there and that’s where that judgment and comparison comes in. And that’s where the jealousy and the envy and I need to have what they have so that I can do what they do. No, no, no. You need to own what you have so you can do what you do, because no one else can do you.

That individuality is yours. Remember, it’s especially when strongly marked. That is you, that passion you feel bubbling in your belly, do you feel it? That ability, the possibility, the potential of knowing that you can actually fulfill your calling. Mm-hmm, feel that.

If I believed that I can fulfill my passion and purpose, that my soul can have its way and that all I have to do is show up as my individual self, all that I desire is mine. How does that feel? Because here’s the thing, mindset only deals with thoughts. And we know that healing requires more than thought work, more than mindset.

And when we are using mindset to try to help someone heal and we’re telling them it’s just their thoughts, we are doing a disservice. They can change their thoughts a million times, but if they don’t dismantle the unconscious belief or narrative that is in alignment with the neural pathway, the neurology, the nervous system, they cannot attain permanent change or healing or wholeness because they’re still separated from their self. From their worthiness, from their wholeness, from source. Because the pieces have to be integrated and embodied.

The fragmented pieces, the parts of us that we left behind through unresolved trauma or incidences that disconnected us from safety. Having an incident as a child where you are afraid or left alone. So many of my clients I work with, they’re either sitting in their room by themselves or maybe in their chair in the classroom just after being made fun of by other kids. The closet, the closet seems to be a great place for kids to hide.

So when we’re doing some of this deeper healing work, the shadow work, the healing the inner child, the regression, any of that stuff, and that just comes up. When it’s time for resolution it is an opportunity to resolve it differently. To actually process the unfelt perception. And I don’t mean you’re just stuck in processing emotions. That’s not what I’m talking about, this is a little bit different.

We find that aspect, that childlike aspect, and we bring them back on board. And it’s not even woo, to be honest, it is about understanding. And once you understand it, the story doesn’t even matter because now you’ve had the experience through the understanding.

And that is what so many coaches are missing when they’re trying to stick with mindset only. Change your thoughts, change your beliefs, don’t think that. It’s like being beat by a paddle. It’s really annoying when you’re feeling separated, when there’s a part of you that’s missing and you’re just kind of being beat up by this thought work.

So I just want to leave you with that. Guys, you can do what the others are doing, you can make more money, you can improve your marketing, you can go and do that. My question to you in particular is does that feel good? Are you driven by money? Or are you driven by service and contribution?

Because you can make money either way, you’re just not driven by it. Some people are driven by it because they believe if they receive the award and someone else sees the millions that they make, that they will believe they are worthy. So it’s like, “Hey, look at me, I’ve made all this money, you see how good I am? You see how good I am? Look at all the proof that I have.” And then that draws more people to them.

But it’s only drawing people who are driven by money. Your people are not. What are you driven by? Think about it. You’re driven by satisfaction, by wholeness, by joy, by serving humanity. By standing in the gap, the generational gap from all of this brokenness and this hierarchy and this, “I’m better than you. Look how much money I made, look how big my car is,” or whatever. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t need to get into that.

Anyway, I want to offer you to just become your own authority. Your authority of wholeness, of individuality. And for some of you it’s been shut off for so long that you may not know how to activate it. You may not know how to feel in your body. Most people who come to me, they don’t even know what I’m talking about, nor do they remember a lot of their past. So it’s like they’re checked out. So those are pretty good indicators that those are my clients.

The other ones who have– Actually, most of my one on ones are having PTSD from the mindset world. That’s the work, the healing work that we’re doing together, is someone trying to make them someone that they’re not and they bought into the oh, I’m going to make money if I do that. And so the work we’re doing together is healing that trauma.

So it is a separation from self when you override that little voice. When you override that part of you that knows this is not correct for me. And you ignore it because you go for the popularity, you go for the– I’m trying to say this in a way that doesn’t sound like I’m making fun of anybody or picking on anybody because I swear to you I’m not. But there is a hierarchy even in the coaching industry, it’s in everywhere.

And whenever you separate from yourself and you’re looking at them and trying to be them, well you’re not you. You’re not in your own body, you’re outside of yourself. So that’s where that judgment and comparison comes from and this separation.

So what I’m saying is we do this in Self Healing Masters. It is for people who actually still need to do some personal work. So coaches and practitioners who work with clients in healing but still haven’t completed their own healing process. So they may still have self-doubt, and maybe are not out of the closet about what they do and who they help because they have shame. They’re worried about what people think.

So this is about learning to change, not only mindset, but processing and stabilizing emotions, aligning with your true self, and self-healing. It’s about embodiment so that you can show up more effectively in a whole, healthy, happy way. Being the example for your clients. It’s about integrating the mind and body for those who don’t know how to do it for themselves.

And so you gain access through the experience. And it’s a visceral experience, and it can’t be undone. Whereas mindset can be undone because if you don’t truly believe the new thoughts, then it just keeps bouncing away. You got to go back and get it and do it again.

But once you’ve embodied it and had the visceral experience of the new identity, then it’s pretty easy to just go out and live it. So that’s what I want to invite you to this week, is individuality. Who are you as a creative being? What is different and unique about you? What is your soul calling for? To serve? To be? To rest? Just think about it.

What is your soul calling for right now in this moment? Maybe it’s being around more people like you. Maybe it’s about having a conversation, getting honest, being transparent about the work that you do, or about the help that you need.

Guys, we’re all in it together. Competition is the illusion. We’re all in it together, humanity as a whole. And when one of us heal, and the next one, and the next one, that is how humanity heals. One at a time, each aspects of each other. That is what we’re here to do.

I wish you all an amazing week and the courage to find, seek, embody your individuality and to express it to the world. Have a great week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.