I’m bringing you a story today that I have personally lived on multiple occasions, but three times in the very recent past. Now that I’ve done some work on it, I’m ready to walk all of you through this experience. And I’m sure you’ll find something relatable here.
When we don’t understand why we keep doing what we don’t want to do, that is such a big deal. We don’t want it, so why do we keep doing it? Well, I’ve had a recent uncovering that will tie a lot of my unresolved stories together and will give you some of the real details of this uncovering process: healing the inner child, trauma recovery, and addressing memories and perceptions that are currently stuck and yet to be fully integrated and embodied.
This episode is going to be a little bit different, but it all ties into the integrative mind-body connection and healing that you guys know I live for. I’m sharing my own story of being emotionally frozen in time, and the work I did in living the experience and the unfelt perception many years later, so I could integrate it into my full emotional experience.
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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
- My own story of being emotionally frozen in time.
- How this story continues to come up for me, despite believing I’d worked through it already.
- Why you don’t need to know the facts when it comes to your own trauma, just your perception.
- Where coaching and therapy differ from the integrative mind-body healing approach.
- How I took this work deeper for myself, what this process involved, and the liberation on the other side.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Hey there, and welcome back to the show. I am happy to report I am home in Louisiana. And I am not happy to report that I am home recovering from COVID. At the same time it’s good to be here, it’s good to be home. I’m feeling a little yucky, so if you hear me sounding kind of snuffed up the COVID is the reason why.
I’m riding it out, doing okay. Not feeling my best but, yeah, doing what I can trying to keep moving, resting, drinking plenty of water, taking vitamins and supplements and all the good stuff. So just if you hear me kind of get lost, it’s like it’s really weird that my brain sometimes has trouble finding what I want to say. I’m usually a pretty quick thinker, but I’m noticing that since I’ve had this that it’s a little weird, I’m a little slow.
So with that in mind, just kind of bear with me if you don’t mind for this week. Maybe next, however long this is supposed to ride out. I do have a couple of other friends who have also tested positive. So we’ve been comparing notes.
And actually, you might be interested in knowing what this is like. Because that’s something I was questioning, is what do I expect? I’m assuming that the majority of us there or all of us at some point will encounter this. And with that said, it’s a sore throat, fever, chills, aches, exhaustion, nausea. Like the weirdest kind of nausea that you can imagine.
I’m ready for it to pass. I want to just sleep and wake up when it’s all over and done. But I’ve been told that’s the worst thing I can do, because then all the yucky stuff lands in your lungs. So I am up and moving, drinking plenty of water, and just doing what I love, which is working. I can’t be around anyone else, but I can be in my office on the computer working with my clients.
So what I want to talk about this week, this is going to be a little different, yet it’s going to tie back to what I’m always talking about. Which is the integrative mind body connection or mind body healing. I’m going to talk about understanding unresolved trauma or unfelt perception that’s left in the body.
And probably the thing that I want to focus on the most, and I hope you guys can take away from this is when we don’t understand why we keep doing what we don’t want to do. That is such a big deal, especially in the coaching world, in the healing world. We don’t want to do the thing that we keep doing, right? So why do we keep doing it?
Well, I’ve had a recent unveiling, uncovering that I thought would tie this story together and give you a better idea of what the details of this work, healing the inner child, or trauma recovery, mending memories or perceptions that are just kind of stuck. That we haven’t fully processed, integrated, and embodied.
So I’m going to tell you a little story of something that I have personally experienced quite a few times. But recently, three times. And I thought that this would be worth sharing. So I’ve done a few healing sessions with peers, friends, practitioners over the last few years.
And we’ve done some regression, hypnosis, moved through the unconscious just to detect what it is. It’s like a state of being lodged somewhere and the dissonance is in my mind. I know that’s not true but yet there’s something in my body, in my nervous system that it remains.
So here’s the story. A few weeks ago I did a session and there’s this scene. I’m nine years old. I’m outside, I’m standing with my back against a tree. I can see the adults in front of me, I can see the house over to the right. And the weather is really overcast like there’s a storm coming through.
It’s a warm day but there’s a cool breeze so the sky gets really blue, really gray, and you know that feeling when, “Uh-oh, shits about to hit,” right? There’s a storm coming just out of nowhere. So that’s the scene.
And I actually feel very much at peace and calm whenever this happens on a regular basis, which is really because when I’m going to tell you the story, you’re going to be like, “What?” So this is the story. This is how I’ve always told it.
I’m nine years old, I’m standing against a tree. I’m looking at the adults, they’re talking about my mom just died. I can hear the adults saying that she died, but no one’s telling me. So I don’t understand it, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. So I’m a little off and I’m confused. And am I supposed to be sad? I don’t really know her, but I think this is a bad thing.
Does that make sense? No one’s explaining or coming to me directly and speaking to me. I’m just kind of left off to the side trying to figure it out for myself. And the reason, I think, that this has come up so many times is like I’m frozen in time at some points, like emotionally.
I don’t know that I knew anyone who had died up until this point. So I’m thinking it may be my first experience with death. But I’m not really sure, I don’t remember a whole lot about my childhood.
So a few years ago, this came up in a regression session. And then again a couple of years ago, and then again a few weeks ago. And I’m like I don’t understand why this same story keeps coming up. I’m pretty sure I’ve worked through it. I don’t know why it’s still here.
And there’s three stories that linked together. So that’s one. And the next one is being in a dress and I can see people sitting in the chairs. And I can see the coffin, and this lady in the coffin. And I’m walking around and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to behave. I don’t know what to think. I don’t really know what’s going on, I just feel a little lost.
I don’t know what to do, that’s what I keep thinking. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. If you can imagine having social anxiety like, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to sit. I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t know how to make small talk, it feels like that.
So that’s the second scene. And then the third scene is my dad’s truck being parked at my grandmother’s house, which is my mom’s mom. And I’m not sure what comes with that.
And here’s the cool stuff about working with the unconscious, with the inner child, and the repressed stuff is you don’t need to know. You don’t need facts at all. All you need to know is what do you recall? What were you experiencing? And how did you interpret it? What was your perception?
That’s all that matters. And that’s why, I think, therapy versus coaching or this integrative mind body healing approach is so different. Because we don’t need to recall what happened, we just need to recall what we experienced. It really doesn’t matter.
Memories are just the perception of how we experience something. You could take 10 people who were at the same event and they would all tell a different story, correct?
So when you’re doing the healing work you don’t need to know any of that stuff. You just need to get to the repressed emotion, allow it to come up and experience it, and then move through it. It’s beautiful work. And I’ll see so many people get caught in healing because they think it needs to be more than that, but it really doesn’t.
Okay, so let’s get back to the scene. So nine years old, standing against a tree, the blue weather. There’s a storm coming, you can feel it, It gets really cool and I don’t know what to do. Well, with all of the sessions that I have done, no one’s really taken me any further than that. So recently I took myself there. And this was fascinating.
So I had this huge aha and while I was away I decided to like reenact it. So I’m standing against a tree, my back up against it. I’m nine years old, and I take myself back to that experience. And I’m just like revisiting it. And what I came up with was I don’t know what to do. And I would press against the tree and then I would just look.
I was just scanning the adults like, “Someone please come tell me something. Would someone please tell me?” That’s what I’m thinking. So I did the – I, as myself today, came up to the child and had that conversation. And I thought this was so fascinating. It kind of blew my mind.
When I asked her what she needed, or how could I help, or what was going on and told her what was happening, she started to cry. And she looked at me and said, “She’s not coming back.” It was the craziest thing.
Can you imagine how often this has happened? She’s not coming back. I had no idea and I’ve spent all of these years, now listen, mentally I know better. But my nervous system, my emotional body didn’t understand and never received that information. And it was fascinating once I did.
And so it was like a reenactment. I don’t know if you guys have ever done this deep work, but you’re kind of just like reintegrating the story, going through the experience all the way so that you can go through the unfelt perception.
So the unfelt perception is kind of being frozen in time and not knowing what’s going on. And not having the emotional intelligence or emotional maturity to understand it, to make sense of it. So once I was able to do that for myself, and then my nine year old self realized she’s not coming back and was able to feel sad.
I didn’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think, that’s what was running through my mind. So I had that experience of she’s not coming back.
And then I was able to be sad. And then I was able to be nurtured and allow that to be felt. And then, it was crazy, as quick as that happened there was this aha of, “Well then she’s everywhere. Now I can be with her.”
Because I remember my entire life waiting for my mom. Waiting for her to come get me. Waiting to see her. Waiting to know her. Whatever it was, it’s like I still was in that frame of mine of waiting. Isn’t that crazy?
I hope you guys understand this. I know this is a weird story. I don’t know if I’m doing it any justice with my Corona brain. As soon as – My eyes lit up and I was able to look around me. And it’s like I was in a fairytale. And it was like, actually, when we’re gone, we’re completely available. There’s no material world to disconnect us.
And I was like I was ready to just skip and hop and jump. And I was so excited and I just felt connected, is the best word that I can say. Or understood.
And when I realized that I didn’t know what to do, that phrase right there, I don’t know what to do, has caused me so much suffering in my life. Because how we do anything is how we do everything. I don’t know what to do came up every time my nervous system felt stressed.
Bingo, see how the dots connect? It was fascinating. So I’m telling this story, because I want to explain how it doesn’t freaking make sense, but it does. Like the mind, the intellect can’t understand what’s happening spiritually, emotionally, physically, in the nervous system.
The stories that we tell ourselves are everything. And this creates an imprint. And then our nervous system acclimates to that, and then we respond and react to that forever until we figure it out.
All right, I’m getting kind of excited. So that is what we don’t understand about why we keep doing what we keep doing even when we don’t want to. I didn’t want to be in that position. I’m a grown ass woman, I know exactly what to do. I know what to do in my business, I know what to do in relationships. It’s like I just know.
But when I felt stressed and this would come back up in my body, I would go into this freeze zone. And so now I feel free, I feel liberated. And I hope this helps you connect to maybe something in your life that you have been paralyzed in, have been kind of stuck in this weird not knowing mode.
It is the inability to feel what is happening, to not be able to relate it back to a content or put it in context because it doesn’t make sense. This is the dissonance. This is why healing is so difficult for some people, especially if you’re trying to do it by yourself. Because you can’t see this.
The only reason I was able to see this is because I had been through sessions so many times. And then I started questioning it and I was like I don’t understand. And so I was talking to a friend and they were telling me, like kind of feeding it back to me. And so I got all the way to the point where I needed to reenact it and be that support for myself or someone else be it for me.
But it was like five o’clock in the morning, I was having coffee, I was standing outside. There was a couple of palm trees so I just went and stood by the palm tree and did it myself. But typically someone else could play the other part.
It was really fascinating, interesting, and just changed the way I saw everything. My perception completely changed in that moment. I felt I would say, more open, expansive. I felt like I understood better and I was also able to give myself permission.
That was probably the biggest takeaway, is give myself permission for knowing exactly what to do and doing it. Being willing to try some things out, not worried about being wrong or being lost. The way that we experience getting it wrong or not understanding is actually just an illusion. And it comes from the way that we have perceived. I feel like I’m going off on the deep end now.
So that is the integrative mind body connection, when we can integrate the unresolved trauma, the unfelt perception. What’s happening in the mind, what’s happening in the body. And then we can draw conclusion to make that connection, then we have the understanding. And the awareness and the understanding is everything.
Because what you can understand you can heal, you can go beyond, you can move from. What we don’t understand is what puts us in paralysis. What we can’t figure out, what we’re not aware of, that’s where that spinning and looping happens.
But once you have the picture painted and you have the understanding, this is like the Punch Line approach, right? So first, its presence. Then we have to unveil to understand. Once we can understand, then we can navigate.
As we navigate, we change the neural pathway, that’s the habits and behaviors. Then we create the new version of ourself, or the new identity, the new personality, whatever it is that you want to become more of or whatever you want to change.
Then you take the simple C step solution. Which is you just choose the vision, commit to it. Cultivate as if it were already happening, and then continue until it’s created. So that’s the conscious creation process.
The Punch Line approach is how to change habits and behaviors, how to gain power and control your life through these five simple steps. This integrative mind body connection, it runs simultaneously to it. It’s the same thing.
Once you can understand the missing pieces, then you can receive the healing. And what I’m calling healing is coming back to wholeness, not having that lack or that lostness. And that’s what was happening with me, was the little kid was lost in this story. She was like frozen at this tree.
And here’s another thing that’s fascinating, guys. Ready? I’m going to blow your mind. So I texted my sister and I said, “Hey, when did mom die?” She says, “I don’t know. It wasn’t winter.” I think that’s how she said it. Or it wasn’t hot, I think she guessed maybe April. And I was like, “Okay. I was wondering if it was November.” And she said, “Nope, I think that was her birthday.”
So she dug around, couldn’t find the obituary, so I let it go. And then the next day, she texts me and she said, “Hey, her death date was July 10.” This is the part that really blew my mind. This happened in July, the last three times this scene came up, one time it was in a session.
The next time it was when my friend came over to visit and that exact storm happened. And we were in my backyard, this was July 3. And I was standing against a tree and I was like, “This is the scene that keeps coming up. What the hell?” And then here it is again, the next weekend. And I’m like our body knows.
And that’s a big part of what is missing in the transformation world. Whenever we’re just working with mindset, we’re completely excluding the body. But the body’s wisdom could be the guide to the healing. The body has been missing from the work. And that proves it. That’s as scientific as I can get today.
All right, my friends. Until next week, I hope I didn’t lose you on this one. And kudos to COVID, let me just say that. I’m going to keep taking care of myself, keep drinking water, keep moving my body, keep working and doing all of the things. I’ll let you know next week how it’s going.
To take this work deeper or to know more about it, I want to invite you to Self Healing Masters. Because this is where we begin unveiling, unraveling, and kind of ripping some of this stuff apart so that we can come back to wholeness. So that we can come back to divine health. That’s really what it’s about, is how to feel vibrant and joyful.
So I don’t know if you’re as taken away as I am by the story, but I thought the date was pretty fascinating. And this has happened in other times where there’s a certain time of the year that I’m working with my clients and I’ll say, “What happened before in August?” And it’s something traumatic.
This happened very, very recently with one of my clients. And it just takes that one moment of awareness, boom. And as soon as they can see it, everything else makes sense. I had a client recently tell me – We had this happen in a conversation and she sent me a message a couple of Mondays ago and she was like, “I lost five pounds.” Like just within that week of that session, from holding that in and being able to just release it on the spot. Isn’t that crazy? Fascinating.
All right, until next week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.
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Great noticing! I love the concept! As a coach… I totally agree that we discount the body in our creative healing mindset!!! I hope you are getting better from Covid. ❤️
The body has been disregarded in many coaching communities. Happy to share about returning to wholeness through the body!
Thank you for your well wishes. I feel amazing. I’ve ridden my bike 50 miles this week plus smell and taste have returned!
I think this is exactly where I am at with something from my past. All I have is feelings and a certain look that I feel in my eyes. It would leave me paralyzed and then of course I created alot of other feelings over the years just to keep going and stay involved in life. But this morning it came clearer.
So glad you got clarity!! The mind body connection is fascinating. Thanks for sharing