When there is a dissonance in your brain about your beliefs, it gets confused, exhausted, and has decision paralysis. So, there could be a tiny, less mature part of you that doesn’t believe you can have the results you want. Being aware of this dissonance is the first step.
In today’s episode, I’m helping to guide you through the confusion and dissonance in your brain so you can get clear on your beliefs and achieve the results you want. Let me help you release those next level limitations so you can live in possibility. Because the world is waiting for you, and you are waiting for you.
Welcome to More than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion, to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Hey, guys, and welcome back. It looks like a big part of the world is opening up again, that’s super exciting. I went to the grocery store, I actually went to Wal-Mart because I needed some vegetables, that was very interesting.
And I went to my granddaughter’s 8th Grade Award Ceremony, I think is what they called it. And, guys, it was pretty interesting, let me tell you. I thought I was going to have a little bit of social anxiety, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect and the whole mass thing and what kind of rules there would be.
And it turned out to be one of the best experiences ever, first of all, let’s just say it was at a catholic church, it’s a catholic school. And I got the biggest gift, let me tell you what happened. You could only have four people per pew, and there could be no one in the pew in front of you or behind you. I’m like what, I get to sit right here with four family members snuggled up, loving on them, no one in front of me, no one behind me, no one interrupting us, not having to play nice. I didn’t have to shake anyone’s hand, I was like in catholic heaven.
Anyway, just saying, I thought that was pretty interesting and for this highly functioning introvert, I know people don’t believe that. But I am a little weird about showing up in places, even in my own business, when there is people here I am not comfortable walking in, in front of a crowd. If I go to a restaurant, I like to go before the tables fill up, I’m kind of weird in that kind of stuff. And if I’m at some sort of event I like to get to the room first, I like to sit in a certain spot, kind of weird, maybe it’s just habit and stuff, but.
So my first experience out was interesting, it took me three times to punch in my pin number while I was putting gas, I have not put gas in my car since March, since the actual shutdown weekend. I had gone to Dallas that weekend and my car was left with about a quarter tank of gas and has been ever since. So just so you know, I am a rule follower, I did my part, I stayed away from the people, and even when I went I kept my distance.
I did think it was rather entertaining though that there were so many people outside all snuggled up in bunches. But then when you got inside they were really like sparse and spread apart, so, interesting.
Alright, so let’s get on with today, I’ve got some good stuff for you. So I want to talk about living in possibility. Yeah, sounds good, we’re going to talk about next level limitations and what’s stopping you now, and what we can do about it.
So here’s the thing, I’ve been talking to a lot of you guys, especially the spiritual folks, so you know I’m all about healing focused entrepreneurs, so my body workers, mind, body practitioners, all of that good stuff. And I like to throw in some spirituality because my take on it is we are a soul being having a human experience. So you kind of can’t throw that part of yourself away, it’s not that we have to talk about it to bring it in on purpose, it just is. There’s no way to take that part of us out of ourselves. If you do then that’s likely why you feel disconnection, just saying.
Anyway, living in possibility, so here’s the thing, what is stopping you right now? If you already know what you want, because you’re saying you know what you want, you call me, you tell me, you send me emails. And you’re like, “I know exactly what I want.” You paint the vision for me, you say, “I know exactly who they are. I know who I want to help, I know why, this is part of my story and I figured it out. And I want to help people stop suffering and I want to help them figure it out because I know how stuck I was.”
Yeah, this is what you all tell me. And you’re like, “I just need to figure out how to create a business out of doing this and make some money so that I can support my passion.” In other words, “So we can help people because this is what I want to do full-time, this is what I’m called to do, I can feel it in my heart, I feel it in my gut, I feel it in my soul. I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing here, this is why I was born.”
And so my question to you is if you know that and you’re so sure about it, then why aren’t you doing it? Why are you always looking for something to fix, something else to heal, some other transformation to be had? Because this is the story that I keep hearing, as we introduce this healing work, this transformation work, when I call the inner work, there is a whole new layer of addiction there, I see it all of the time. I am pretty sure I was it, knowing that I was like sick for 24 years is a pretty good indication of it.
But now that I’m introducing this really simple concept of self-healing, like how to integrate in body, so that you can come to wholeness, whole body wellness. Come back into being a whole being that is happy, healthy, joyous, prosperous, living a life of ease and flow, and freedom to be exactly who you are, it’s really simple. And then it gets complicated, that’s what I want to talk about today.
Why do you think it’s so hard, creating a business out of this, making money, helping people? If you’re so passionate about it, and you’re so sure about it, and you’re just answering the call, if you fully believed that, do you think you would let anything stop you? Really think about that, do you think you would let any little fearful feelings or doubts bulldoze you, knock you out of your lane? Do you think you would be distracted and spinning and watching what everyone else is doing and indulging in confusion?
Do you really think if you fully felt this were possible, that you would let any of that stuff get in your way? I really want you to consider this, I’m going to stay here and ask you a few times. Because I’m getting the same coach request, and questions, and enquiries about the program so often and I keep hearing the same story.
And I want to hit it today, hit it, like hammer, nail, just hit it on the head. No getting out of this, we’re going to put it in a corner, and we’re going to take a really good look at it, and we’re going to unveil what is going on here.
There’s a couple of things that I have noticed, the most prominent one, we’re going to talk about the biggest problem I see and how to solve it, so hang tight. One thing for you to take note of, so I want you to ask yourself this question, are you truly willing to receive all that you are and all that you are worthy of? Just write that down, put it on the side. Am I willing to receive all that I’m capable of being? Am I ready to step into that container and live in possibility? And what comes up for me when I think that thought?
Just feel into your body, say it to yourself and then notice the sensations. I am willing to receive all that I am worthy of, I am willing to live in possibility. I’m going to tap into my full potential and go out and be that. I’m ready, there’s nothing that will push me out of my lane, there is nothing that will stop me. I know this is what I was born to do. I know this is what I am called to. I know who I help. I know what they need. And I know why I have to do it.
And when you think this, I’m willing to receive abundance and prosperity, a fully booked business, helping clients get results, and myself receive abundance, what comes up for you? I know what you’re going to tell me, “It feels good, I’m ready. Yes, that’s what I’ve been saying. Yeah, I know it, I can see the vision. I can see 10 years from now. I know exactly what I’m going to create and I know what I’m going to build, I know who I’m going to help. I can see them, I can feel them.”
And then I want you to ask yourself the question, and so why aren’t you doing it now? Why do you have the results that you have today? Because there’s something that we do to create the results we have. And this, my friends, is what we’re going to talk about, dissonance, it’s this cognitive dissonance. It’s contradictory beliefs, there is a part of you that knows that is what you should be doing.
But there is a sneaky unconscious part of you that is afraid, that is doubtful, that doesn’t feel ready, that kind of shakes, if you feel into your body, into your system, you’ll feel that in the nervous system. It’s kind of like this shakiness along the spine, it’s this, maybe less mature part of yourself, or this incomplete unbelief, it’s like kind of beliefs part of us.
And what’s happening is the two are fighting against each other, and the rules of the mind are like you can only think and do one thing at a time. And so your brain, the way it functions, like you can push the enter button, like pushing on the computer and it’s going to do one thing. But if you’re feeding it this, contradictory beliefs, that it’s not going to know what to do and it’s going to go into confusion.
And confusion feels very crappy in your body, it feels a little shaky, it feels a little sickening, it kind of throws you into paralysis. Mental paralysis when your brain just kind of freezes and you don’t really know what to do and you just go into this spin and loop, spin and loop, spin and loop. And then that confusion stops you from doing anything at all, so that is cognitive dissonance.
There are conflicting beliefs and you are running them at the same time trying to figure out what is wrong, what is happening. I know I want this, I’m ready to do it, I talk to people all of the time, everyone comes to me for advice.
I was that person in high school, and I’m that person for my family, everyone knows I’m the levelheaded one, they all come, whenever there’s a problem they come for me to solve it. So I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing, I prayed about it, I can feel it in my gut, I know this is what God’s telling me to do. I know this is, everything in my intuitive power is leading me here and guiding me, I know, I know, I know, this is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.
So you’re so sure about it but you will know if you are truly believing that by your results. And so that’s what I want you to check is, where are you in your business? Where are you in that dream, like at what point? Are you still just thinking about it, or are you actually doing it, or are you actually on the receiving end? See what stage you’re in so you can really get a good look at this, and make some changes from this moment, like in 15 minutes, you’ll be done, you’ll be ready to move forward, okay.
So first you have to recognize, you have to be present, you have to be aware of what’s going on. You’re like okay, now I can see it, I can see that I have conflicting beliefs, I can see that there’s a part of me that believes I can, that wants to, that’s ready. I can feel it in my gut, I know that it’s the thing I’m supposed to be doing. And then there’s a part of me that’s saying, “Hell, no, sit back, girl, what do you think you are? You better get down off of that pedestal, you should not be thinking that way, girl, what are you talking about?”
That part, that little immature part that just hasn’t stepped up to the plate yet, it’s possibly the younger part of you that maybe was afraid early on, and this is what it felt like to be afraid. And then you have that memory locked in your body and then you keep going to it.
So, listen, guys, I’m not saying we need to go back to second grade and clean it out, although there is a technique for that, I’m not saying that at all. I’m talking about we’re going to do this right here with a logical mind, we’re going to do this with mindset, I’m going to show you how. So first is just to recognize that there’s two stories running and that is causing confusion, it’s contradictory thoughts saying two different things, and you are trying to figure it out and you can’t because they’re both spinning and looping.
And so you’re like on one hand… on the other hand… But then if I do this, then this will happen, so you’ll know it by those conversations, that’s what you’re saying to other people, that’s what you’re saying to yourself. When you try to write about it you make a list of both sides, and then it gets all mushy. And then you feel exhausted, because it does that, it just drains your energy, all of that thinking, your brain burns so much energy when it’s spinning. It’s like basically sitting there in your car and just burning the tires, it’s exhausting.
So the first thing once you are aware that this is what’s happening then you stop and you get clear.
So what I like to do is I think about this little snow globe, and so I put it in the palm of my hand like right by my forehead. So I’ll put my hand up right to the – my front of my forehead and I’ll just do this, like basically you are sucking all of the thoughts out of your head into the snow globe. Go ahead and take a deep breath, even longer than I did, just suck it all up, get it in the globe and then place the snow globe in front of you so you can see it. So if you’re on your computer, or if you’re driving your car you can put it on the dashboard, you’re just going to take it, put it on the desk.
And now all of those spinning conflicting thoughts are out of your mind and they’re in the snow globe. So you’re going to be able to have a conversation without them, you’ll get to just look at them. It’s the craziest thing because when you look at it and you’re kind of like, “Aha, what now?” It does nothing, it’s just like sitting in the snow globe and then you’re like, “Oh, actually I feel a lot lighter, I feel a lot clearer.” It’s like it’s so good not having all of that spin in my mind.
So now you have access to the frontal cortex, the part of your brain that makes decisions, that takes actions, it knows what to do, it knows how to plan a structure and strategy. So you have to find a way to get yourself clear. For some of you, you may want to meditate, but I’m going to tell you, I’m already onto you with this too, I’ve been doing a lot of meditation practice with different people. And I’m realizing that you guys are just doing a lot of spinning and looping in your meditation. So I want you to reconsider maybe trying something different if that’s what you’ve been doing.
Okay, so maybe you can go and dump and get all the thoughts out, maybe you can just do the little snow globe exercise, or maybe you can just pause. And imagine you have this red button, it’s like a stop sign, or it’s like a red button on an elevator, an emergency stop. And you’re going to push that red button, and the thoughts are just going to stop spinning. And then you will take a breath. Now, feel the solidity in your body, feel the clarity in your mind, any of these will work, just pick one, don’t get caught up in one’s better than the other, it’s just a decision you need to make.
So you’re going to recognize you have a problem, that you have contradictory beliefs, and then you’re going to stop and you’re going to get clear, you’re going to write, or you’re going to suck out your thoughts, or you’re going to push the red button. But you’re just going to stop all the spinning. And then I’m going to give you the solution. Are you ready?
Now that your head is clear and you don’t have this dissonance, you’re going to make a decision. It sounds so simple, but it’s seriously the hardest thing ever. So you’ve already identified, and you’ve unveiled, and you’ve navigated. So instead of spinning and looping, you’re like stop, release. Now you’re going to create what you want, okay, I’m going to show you how to do this on purpose, so you make a decision right now. What is it that you want? And you can just decide in this moment, it is done and you never look back.
Listen, what if there were no wrong decisions and you could just like, I know how much money I want to make, I know how many clients I want to serve, I know what I want to do, I know how to do it. If you don’t know how to serve them and your clients are not getting results, guys, you might want to look into the program. But if you know what you’re doing and the only thing is you’re really not stepping into it then I want you to consider that you could just be one decision away from making it happen.
So if you decided in this moment, you know exactly what you want, that would be the left side of the story, whenever you were first saying everything that you wanted. You just decided right now, it’s done. And then you will get to work and create it. And the way that you do that is you have to first choose. And then you have to commit to the decision you made. And this is where a lot of you are messing up, you’re not committed, you’re not committed to your decision, you’re not committed to yourself, you’re not committed to your belief.
So once you commit then you’re going to cultivate as if it were, as if you already had the results, as if you already had those 20 clients or 10 clients, or your first 5, whatever it is. How will you show up when you’re already there? Who are you going to be? What’s your day going to look like? What’s your calendar going to look like? What are you going to be doing day in and day out in order to serve those people? You’ve got to go and do that now. You’ve got to go and offer value. You have to practice staying committed.
You have to practice cultivating. Growing your business is an active practice. It’s not like I’m going to buy this business and then it’s going to feed me, it’s the complete opposite, it’s like I am going to birth this infant and I am going to feed it, and then it will get mature enough to support me. And so you maybe were just are a little confused on how that was supposed to work.
I remember this in the essential oil business, they would buy a family physician kit and thought that they had bought a business. No, boo, you bought a product. Or go to yoga teacher training and think that they were just going to step out and they would just have this business done. No, you bought a training, you bought an opportunity, you bought access to help other people.
You bought a toolset or a skill set, you bought a product. Now you have to choose to implement what your purchase was, you have to implement strategy, you have to make decisions, you have to become the CEO of the business. But you have to begin growing and maturing, you are the asset, but you have to first make the decision. That’s the solution to all of this hanging around, waiting, buffering, spinning, all this confusion, this not knowing what to do, this I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
You’re just one decision away from commitment, and so you just choose it and you commit to yourself, you commit to your baby. And then you become the person who already has the 20 clients, who already made the 50,000, who already did their first year in business, whatever that looks like to you. And then linear time just has to catch up, okay.
So you are cultivating as if it were and then you continue doing that, that is your practice, you continue doing that every single day until it is created. But you never take your eye off the prize and you don’t need the results to prove anything, okay. So all you need is the commitment, that is so strong, that you’re taking tangible action. You’re meeting people, you’re building relationships, you’re offering value, you’re sharing your own transformation and you’re offering to help other people do the same, it is that simple, that is business.
Business is service in the package of your name, or a name, or a store front. It is service that is exchanged for revenue. It is an understanding between client, coach, boss, owner, whatever it is. It is a commitment to deliver something in exchange for something else, so don’t confuse it, don’t complicate it. If you are in confusion then recognize that your conflict is coming from this belief and disbelief. And you’re playing, you’re trying to keep both of them, you have to just decide that you believe or you don’t believe, it’s that simple.
Notice how when you’re like, “I’m throwing in the towel, I am quitting,” that you feel relief. That’s because you made a decision, you could actually make the decision go in the other direction and get the same relief. You’re like, “Oh no, I’m all in, I decided, this is happening, I’m going for it.” And you let go of everything else and you just align the action with the belief. Got it?
So you have this thought, I’m going out there and I’m helping people, I’m going to grow and build this business. And then you feel what? Confident, sure, solid, and then whenever you feel that way what is the action that you take? You’re like, “I tell people what I do, I’m so excited.” And then you actually create results.
But let me tell you what happens in this dissonance, imagine the same exact thing I just said, you’re like, “I’m going out to help people, I can’t wait to do this, I’m so excited and I feel so solid.” And then you take action and that action doesn’t lead to your expectation, and then you forget that you believed and you go back to the other side of it not being possible. Skip that step, and do everything else. But you have to first notice when you do it so that you can navigate. Got it? So this is the awareness.
The awareness is the healer, remember, always, no matter what we’re talking about, once you see it, you can change it. It’s why the first step is presence and awareness. The second step is to unravel, to punch a hole in the doubt. So you have a theory that you can’t do it, we want to punch a hole in that disbelief so that it can unravel, so that it can unpack, so you can find the belief, that’s how you navigate.
Instead of just going into the disbelief, you go into the belief, you’re like it’s just this little shifting, a little throttle that happens right here between the P.U.N. It’s like presence, awareness, I see it, I change it, and then I recommit, and I come back to believing. And then I take action as if I truly did believe it was happening, not because I saw it, but because I know it, because I feel it, because I am committed to it.
And, guys, if you are going back into disbelief, it’s because you don’t truly believe that your thoughts can direct your results, that is it, that’s the only thing that is happening here. If you don’t truly believe that, then you will spin in this and this could go on for years. And I want to help you from not doing that, it’s not fun, it’s not fun to spin in disbelief for years.
So that’s what I want to talk to you about today is your next level limitations. Can we release those, open the gate for potentiality so that you can live in possibility. And I’m going to challenge you to do this for 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, okay, so you’re going to commit and recommit.
Come on over to the More Than Mindset Facebook group and say, “Hey, I’m coming in for my commitment time, I’m here day one.” And we’re going to help you push through that, we’re going to help you move through that and to stay in belief. I do coaching in there, I do teaching, I do meditations, there’s lots of offers in there to help and support you. So I invite you to come on over and get yourself living in the state of possibility.
And in the practice of building and growing your business and becoming the next level of yourself, first of all and final, you have to be willing to believe in order to receive. And so I’m going to ask you to ask yourself that, am I willing to receive? And if not, what is the reason, I’m not willing to receive because? And go to work and get all of that out of your head and then go back, listen to the beginning, run yourself through this story, through this practice and do this every day, keep getting yourself back to this place of living in possibility. I guarantee you, that is how it works.
It’s only the disbelief that is driving you away from your goal, and you can’t see it, because you possibly haven’t identified that it is a belief, you think it’s a fact. You think it’s true, you think it’s real, you think it’s your truth. You tell me things like, “That’s just how it is,” as if you’re just like delivering the facts. But it’s not true, guys, it’s just your next level of limitations that you have to break through. I want to see you prosper and grow. I want to see you get out there and help people, the world is waiting for you, you are waiting for you.
Alright, until next week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More than Mindset.