On the podcast today, I am talking about three important concepts from one of my most recommended books for new coaches, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. The whole book is based on achieving your full potential in life, in all areas of your life – relationship, money, career… whatever part you are personally developing and growing.
I suggest that new coaches read this book because when you start coaching, when you walk into these changes in perception, it is a big leap. It’s pretty scary. You don’t quite know what’s coming and what’s shifting and what’s changing. A lot of people fall into self-sabotaging behaviors, rejecting success and disbelieving their own worth.
By not recognizing and processing the feelings of fear that most of us experience as we reach our upper limit, the cycle of self-sabotage continues to keep us playing small in our personal and professional lives. Join me today as I break down the importance of stepping into your zone of genius, into the expert authority positioning, and truly believe in it – and then take the actions until you get the results.
If you feel aligned with what you’ve heard today and want to join an interactive community focusing on balancing mental, emotional and physical health to gain power and control of your life, click here to join the Integrative Life Facebook group. As a member, you will also have an opportunity to be coached live on our monthly calls so make sure to join today!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- My version of “If you build it, they will come.”
- My 3 favorite takeaways from The Big Leap.
- How my upper limit problem was causing me to self-sabotage.
- How just recognizing and allowing fear can help it move through and out of your body.
- How stress makes us sick.
- What buffering is and how we use it to keep ourselves from our zone of genius.
- Why you believe that healing isn’t available to you in particular.
- What Einstein Time is.
- What expert authority positioning requires.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Join the Integrative Life Facebook group here!
- The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
- The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners, the only podcast that can help YOU help more people, create a greater impact, and make more money in the health and wellness industry. Join Master Clarity and Confidence Coach, Kim Guillory, as she teaches you how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started…
Welcome back. That may not be a big deal to you but it’s a really big deal to me because if you’re listening, it means you are returning for another episode. So I am in a silly, fun mood. I just got off of a call. We have an online book club and this month we were talking about The Big Leap, which fits right in alignment with what’s going on in my own life.
So starting out this podcast, being on just episode two, and this being a really big leap for me. We talked about – the whole book is based on achieving your full potential in life. In all areas of your life, relationship, money, career, whatever part you are personally developing and growing as your self-improvement and it’s just one of my favorite books.
When I was doing just private coaching, it was one of the first two books that I suggested my clients pick up and start to read for themselves because when you start coaching, when you walk into this new lifestyle or I’ll call it these changes in perception, it is a big leap. It’s pretty scary. You don’t quite know what’s coming and what’s shifting and what’s changing.
So what we talked about is how we block our success with upper limits. Things like fear and self-sabotage, and it’s really all about not believing that you’re worthy of receiving that. They used to say if you build it, they will come, and I’m like, no. If you believe it, they will come because you can only receive what you believe you are worthy of.
So, that’s what we had going on tonight and it was super fun. We had a full house on the call and next month we’re going to be diving into The Untethered Soul. But for those of you who have not checked out The Big Leap yet, by Gay Hendricks, I highly recommend it.
Three of my favorite takeaways is number one, being in your zone of genius, which is what we’re going to talk about on this podcast, and another thing is Einstein time, and then upper limits, which is what I just spoke of, about fear and self-sabotage.
So with that being said, I’m going to move right into today’s podcast. This zone of genius, you know, there’s four levels. It’s the level of incompetence, and then competence, and then excellence, and then genius. So one of the things that I talk about in the coaching program is establishing expert authority positioning. And that is your zone of genius.
It’s the thing that probably surprised me the most about it is it’s almost like this least likely to think that that is your zone of genius because it comes so naturally to you. For me, I didn’t realize I was a natural teacher and because I was so terrible in school and my experience, my perception would have never led me to believe that I could be in teacher position.
Yet I kept finding myself in that place in my business, and then I would hit my upper limit and then I would reject this success and this moving forward and I would self-sabotage because surely, who am I to be in that position? Who am I to be that authority? And I would jump out of the bowl instead of going into the bigger bowl. I just kept bringing myself back down for so many reasons.
You know, the fear that we talk about in the self-sabotage, it’s for me, it was so much about not being part of my tribe. Like, kind of this – it’s outgrowing but it’s not in a way of better than. It’s more in a way of this unfamiliar – of even knowing my own place and space. And it was super uncomfortable. I was telling my group this week, I put something on Facebook and it was kind of what this podcast is about and me just having to use the wording and to put that out there.
I kept looking out to like, the side door and I was like, surely the cops are going to come to get me, surely I can’t say this. Can I be this vocal? Can I truly speak my truth 100%? Like, in integrity, being really clear about it, really confident about it, and speaking from my place of genius, which is an accumulation of all of the experiences that I’ve had personally, and the lessons that I’ve learned and the wisdom and the knowledge that I’ve accumulated from can I speak from there.
And I kept looking out like, surely, I’m going to get arrested or the adults are going to come or someone is going to call me out on this and I don’t know, I don’t know, I should be afraid. My heart was beating, my stomach was in a knot, and it had this pounding going on in my body and I was like, this is physically affecting me and this is what the upper limit feels like.
This fear comes in and then you don’t recognize it and allow it to process by that meaning just by being aware and recognizing, oh, this is just a sensation, this is just a feeling of vibration in my body, I can actually release this. Just acknowledge it, allow it to settle, and not resist it or pretend like it’s not there but okay, I hear you.
But that’s not going to work this time, and then move forward with the thing anyway instead of self-sabotaging, which looks like, oh, I’ve got this really freaky feeling in my body and I’m getting kind of nervous, surely, I’m doing something wrong, I’m going to get arrested. Like, I need to not do this. And then the self-sabotage would be I don’t know, doing something that it doesn’t happen, whether it’s something you do to yourself or something you bring onto yourself.
You know, I see this all the time in business, even getting sick. You get to the next level and maybe it’s taking a program out or maybe it’s expanding online or something, and suddenly you’ll have this throat stuff or this lung stuff, bronchitis or just having a sore throat and not being able to speak or having sinus and allergies. We just bring this stuff onto our self. It’s the self-sabotage. Is it crazy that we could actually make ourselves sick? But we really can.
And you’ve kind of always heard like, oh, it’s just stress, stress can do that to you, stress can make you sick, but they don’t explain how it can make you sick or in what way. What do you mean by that? We all realize that stress is something that contributes to our health, to our ill health actually, but not in the way of explaining it like I am, that it is actually self-sabotage.
It is actually fear and doubt that’s triggering these emotions and then instead of allowing it to process, we allow it to manifest. And that just being our body speaks to us and it speaks to us through dis-ease, which is just lack of ease. Dis-ease.
So took a little U turn there but I’m going to come back around. So this receiving what you believe you’re worthy of, you actually have to work on your belief system so that you can step into that abundance, into that ability to receive the abundance because you believe you’re worthy of it. And that’s something that I have seen people over and over and over again fall into self-doubt and fear and self-sabotage when they hit that upper limit.
One of the examples would be like what’s the amount of money that you feel safe having in your checking account or in your savings account. Say it’s like, oh, I have $5000 ahead of me, that’s one month’s expenses, I know I’m safe and okay. And then you’ll notice if you get $6000 or $7000, like, oh something happens and you have to spend that money.
Or if you get lower than, say you’re at $3000 it’s like, you’ll get into this belief that I need $5000 to feel safe and you’re like, work a little bit harder and before you know it you have the $5000 saved again. And then you get to $8000 and then oh, you’ve got to spend it on this or this will happen and you’ll get it back down.
And for some reason, there’s this cap off like I am worthy of this $5000, I am safe with this $5000, but anything less I’ve got to work really hard to get it back, anything more, I don’t deserve it. Is that crazy? We do the same thing with weight.
So are you one of these that can drop that first, I don’t know, it’s usually around 10 pounds I find in my experience with coaching and weight loss is it comes in around that mark. It’s right at the point where you start feeling good, your clothes get loose, and it’s kind of easy. It’s like no, it surely can’t be this easy, right?
And that’s our brain going into this crazy mode, this defense mode, safety, and you got to be careful, don’t get too excited, you can’t have that, it’s not meant for you. You know how that is. You know what’s going to happen so don’t get attached to it, and then you just go into failing in advance. That way you don’t have to be disappointed when it happens.
Like, mind-blowing. Just think about how many times you have self-sabotaged, especially in business. For those of you who are here because of the health and wellness coaching or practitioners and you’re doing this work with me already or maybe you’ve been on your own already and you just want to know how to integrate it and that’s what has taken you to this podcast, just think about why you haven’t gotten to the positioning in your business so far.
Like, what is it that’s stopping you? What is the self-sabotage? Where is the doubt? Where is the fear? Are you stepping into your zone of genius or are you just bumping up against upper limits and then as soon as you’re ready to take the leap, you’re ready to go to the next step, you either get sick, you freak out, you start buffering, which is just finding something to do so that you don’t have to listen or feel these emotions.
So buffering could be eating, it could be hanging around on social media, it could be over-compulsive behavior in any arena. It could be overspending, could be gossiping, whatever it is. We all have a different form that we use. If you’re human, if you have a brain and you have emotions, then I promise you, you do something.
And the thing is, one is not better than the other. So it doesn’t really matter if your addiction is to overspending, overeating, pornography, whatever, I swear to you, it doesn’t matter. The thing is it’s buffering so that you don’t feel an emotion and it’s the thing that is most accessible to you or most tolerated to you or the biggest temptation.
For some people it’s going to be sugar, for some people it’s going to be chips, for some people it’s going to be needing to buy something new and feeling important. I really don’t have a judgment about it, it’s pretty neutral. Whatever the addition is, I’m like, you kind of can’t make me think that one is better or worse than the other. I’m just beyond that now.
So these are the things that happened when you reach that upper limit. It’s the point where you don’t think it’s possible for you. It’s like, you’re almost, I don’t know if I want to say like, you’re so special like you’re this unicorn and you are different from everyone else and this isn’t available to people like you. So have you ever heard yourself say that?
Like, people like us or people like me, like, I can’t overcome chronic pain, people like me with fibromyalgia or people like me with chronic fatigue or people like me on whatever, Hashimoto’s, whatever the condition is. You believe that that is more special than someone else’s and the healing is not available for you.
I’ll see this or hear this with bereavement. It’s like this club that if you happen to be the widow that grief is way worse than the grief of losing a child, and then the one who loses a child believes that the grief is much worse than the one who lost the husband. And then you know, it’s never ending, or maybe it’s worse grief, it happened when you were a child or maybe it’s worse whenever it happened when you were 50.
But my opinion about grief if grief is grief because it’s to the perception of the person who’s receiving or in the traumatic event. And it is painful to the level that they perceive it and there is no judgment or comparison on that. Loss is loss, whether it comes through a divorce or it comes through a death. Maybe it came through a house fire, maybe it came through losing a job, maybe it came through losing your breast or having cancer in some other area of your body.
But regardless, it’s a loss of what was. What was available, what was tangible, what was familiar, what was understandable. And loss is loss is loss. And I know I’m kind of going over and beyond the upper limit, but it truly is all about perception. Your ability to receive, your ability to recover, your ability to go into this greater abundance without the fear and the doubt and the sabotaging.
And imagine someone with a lottery ticket and just coming into millions of dollars but not having the perception, the mindset, the belief system in place in order to hold it. We see this pretty often. They cannot hold onto it. They’ll spend it, they’ll blow it, they don’t quite know what to do with it, and it’s because they haven’t stepped into that future self, the person who does know how to handle it.
And this happens with business too. So you may be going to the next level, maybe you’ve gotten an abundance of clients all at one time, it was unexpected, and you were like, wow, this can’t be possible, it must be a mistake. They must not really know, right? And so it’s like, can I do it again? So all of you coaches who are listening to this, I know you know what I’m talking about. Like, can I repeat that? I don’t know, I think maybe it was a mistake. They probably didn’t mean to sign up. This thing goes through our head, it’s so crazy.
So that’s the stuff that just talking about upper limits and zone of genius and another thing that we mention in the book is we talk about Einstein time. And I believe that everything is in perfect timing. It all takes exactly the amount of time that it should have. Like, I started a podcast last year, didn’t quite work out. I had quite a few issues, but really, I don’t think it was time because now this podcast is more in alignment. My messaging is clear about exactly what it is, the point that I want to get across.
And so when I think of it that way, did it really go wrong? What went wrong? Absolutely nothing. It’s all in perfect timing. And in Einstein time, you just kind of tell yourself, I’m going to be going by 7:30 and without even looking at a clock you just move about, taking one step at a time and then before you know it, you’re in the car and it’s 7:30. I’m like, what, no way.
But sure enough, that’s how it is. If I say I’m going to do something by the 15th and I know I have plenty of time and I think I’m going to get it ahead of schedule, nope, ends up being on the 15th. It blows my mind. I think I’m just living in Einstein time now. And there’s so many clients that come forward like, I don’t have enough time. I don’t have enough time.
And I’m like, that’s not true. You have the exact amount of time that you need. You have the grace for that time and you have the ability to step into that. All of us do. It’s the only thing that makes sense. Why would you be given this thing to do if you don’t have the time to do it? I just don’t believe that. Maybe I am a unicorn. That’s just the way I believe.
Anyway, so the change in perception, the change in belief is what helps you step into the being able to receive the abundance and being in your zone of genius is just like that little extra bonus of it’s so darn easy. It’s being in this ease and flow and this personal freedom where you’re just being yourself and things just come so easily.
Not so scary to take the big leap whenever you’re coming from that place, right? So stepping into expert authority positioning is something that we’re super passionate about in the coaching – in my particular coaching program, the Integrative Life Coach program, because I believe there is enough abundance available for everyone. I believe there are plenty of clients out there that are needing the help.
Matter of fact, my urgency is getting enough coaches out there quickly enough for the numbers that are coming in. Like, getting them into that positioning where their clients know how to find them, knows exactly who they are because you’re super dialed in on what their specialty is. And it’s not coming from statistics, it’s coming from inner essence. It’s this inner knowing.
So the expert authority positioning requires a few things. So first of all, it’s stepping into that ease. It’s stepping into your passion, and more than likely, it’s experiences that you’ve already had, so you’re super passionate about helping other people in that same position to get out of it because you have the empathy and the compassion to know what it feels like.
And so typically we have this I really need to help them, I figured it out, I know I can help them figure it out, which is great flames to the fire. So in order to stay in that, you want to keep the blinders on. You want to be so sure in the belief that you’re taking aligned action and then you’re getting the results. And so if you’re not getting the results you want, then either you don’t have the belief, or your action is not aligned with what you truly want.
So the thing that I want to say to coaches is if you’re listening to – I know there’s so much with the free downloads and other coaches’ corners and clinics and whatever bringing you in and they all have different information, and that confuses the brain because when the brain has conflicting beliefs, it will go into confusion.
So you just decide. Step into your zone of genius, step into the expert authority positioning, stay in your lane. Mind your own business. Know what you know what you know and stay with that and truly believe in it. And then take the actions until you get the results.
Now, I see this all the time. They want to see the results first, but you won’t see the results first. You just won’t. It’s kind of like if you’re following this diet plan and you’re on week six and you haven’t blown it, don’t even worry about what the scale says. Just keep doing it. I promise you, the results show up, and it’s the same thing in business and entrepreneurship.
You keep showing up integrity, you keep showing up in your zone of genius, you keep taking aligned action, you keep believing, and there is no way for results not to show up. And if they’re not, just know that you’re hitting an upper limit or you’re not in your zone of genius, or you’re not in belief.
So it’s sometimes a matter of truly trusting and unveiling what isn’t. Figuring out what is it that you may be doing that someone else said that worked for them that’s maybe not in alignment for you, for your business, for the results that you want to receive. So trusting so much, believing so much that you don’t stop taking the action and then the results are the byproduct of that belief and that action. So good.
Alright, well that is all for today. I want to just give you a little reminder that the Integrative Life is a Facebook group where we dial into this work a little bit deeper. The book club is in there. It’s an online book club. We meet once a month, it’s like an hour, and we pick – as a group, we pick the book. What the next book is going to be. We host retreats, so you’re invited to retreats through there. You’ll be the first ones to know because they to sell out and so it gives you that first opportunity to get into the retreats.
And we have live coach calls, we have Facebook Lives. The master classes are presented by the coaches who have already been through the program and whatever their expert authority positioning or their zone of genius is is what they come on and share. We do that once a month. The coach calls are on Thursday night. They are not always – it’s not every single Thursday night but if you’re in the group you’ll get the link and you’ll know when it is, and those are one hour and you can get personal coaching.
So you would just send an email or a private message to me and let me know you want to be coached. We’ll pull you up on the call and however many we can get taken care of in one hour, that’s what we do. We also have live coach sessions, so those are pretty cool. If you’re coming from out of town, one of the coaches has space at her home where she takes in guests, so that’s always an option if you want to just get away and come out to the country, hang out in rural Louisiana, that’s an opportunity for you too.
Alright, thank you for staying with me and looking forward to dialing in on episode three following this one.
Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today!
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