Announcer: Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and competence Coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Kim: Hello, hello, and welcome back to the show. So I have something really fun for you guys today, or for sure something fun for me. I’ve brought on four integrative coaches. And we are going to discuss self-empowerment or personal empowerment. And we’re going to kind of take this story back to what we thought, what kept us kind of in the position that we were in, and then what actually happened when we made the change that we were so afraid of.
So that’s what the conversation is going to be about today. So I’m going to let each coach introduce themselves. So we’ll start with Chanci.
Chanci: Okay, thank you, Kim. So, my name is Chanci Dawn, and I am an integrative coach and nutritionist. And I love helping women reconnect with their bodies and lives and absolutely fall in love with both. That is what I do.
Kim: So good. Lynda.
Lynda: Hi, I’m Lynda Richard and I am an integrative relationship and intimacy coach. I work with abuse and trauma survivors to help them create healthy, connected, and intimate relationships.
Kim: Yummy, Danielle.
Danielle: Hi, I’m Danielle Perrodin. I’m an integrative style and Image coach, and I help holistic entrepreneurs be here now and to find their true style and attract their ideal clients faster.
Kim: Thank you for that service too. Malerie, tell us a little bit about you.
Malerie: Hey, I am Malerie Veillon, and I am an integrative coach and a marketing strategist. So I’m helping holistic wellness entrepreneurs market their business online, get themselves seen, get out there, and attract the perfect customers for them.
Kim: So much need. All right, I want to thank you all for coming and doing this with me today first of all.
The first thing I’m going to ask is I’m going to go around the room and I want to explain to the audience, what do we mean by integrative? What does it mean to you personally? Like what attracted you to this specific type of coaching? Right? Because we do refer to integrate a lot and some of us say integrative wellness, some say integrative life, integrative sexuality. You know, I think we can all add a little extra flavor to it by saying what it means to us in particular.
What is it that drew you in? What made it different than what other kind of coaching was out there on the market? I’m going to start with Lynda.
Lynda: Okay, for me, especially in the area that I work with, it’s so important to encompass the feelings that come with what prevents us to have connection and intimacy. And just working with the mindset I don’t feel like there’s the access to the feelings as much as with integrating it. So we’re taking a dive into those feelings and emotions that come up. And we’re really integrating them so that we can be whole and create that connection and intimacy. Because if we can’t integrate and connect with those feelings for ourselves, then we definitely cannot connect with those feelings for somebody else.
Kim: What about you Malerie? How would you describe integrative coaching or like the integrative work as you presented yourself? Because you’re saying I’m an integrative marketing strategist.
Malerie: Well, let me take it back to whenever I started coaching with you, Kim. And I had no idea that emotions were a thing. Like I was so disconnected from my emotions, and from feeling that sensation in my body, I had no idea. And on top of that, I was practicing as a physical therapist. So I felt like where did this come from? It’s like, there was a whole part of me as a human being that was never introduced to me.
So going through the coaching program helped me to understand what that meant. Like how to integrate my emotions and my spirituality together with my physical body and the mindset, which I was really heavy in. Or which I understood a lot more about, I was able to process that a lot easier. But it was through the integration process of the emotions and the spirituality and everything that really brought me to a whole different level of my life.
And as far as marketing, I say integrative because it’s the same, like putting yourself out there online for the world to see, it’s scary for some people. And without that integrative process of understanding why that fear is there and what’s going on behind it, and what are some experiences that have happened in the life before? And then like recognizing and seeing those experiences for what they were and realizing that that’s not actually what’s happening right now. Integrating that part into the marketing is what helps people really put themselves out there and be confident in what they’re saying. And be confident in what they’re putting out there.
Kim: Do you think it’s more because the confidence comes from like actually owning it, like owning that knowing? Do you think that that’s the difference? Because we’re talking about something that’s such a big deal, whenever they go to push play, record, that first post, all of that, everything comes up? And so I’m wondering if that’s what you have seen that’s made the differences because they’ve actually embodied that integration process?
Malerie: Right? Yes, exactly. You got it.
Danielle: Yeah, for me the integration stands for integrating the three parts of myself. So for me, who am I now, how am I showing up now? The bits and pieces of myself that I’ve left behind in the past, and the part of me that once I am in that bigger vision of myself, who I envision my high self to be, the one that is creating this life and the desire. Who that person is and integrating all three of them so it’s just in the now, and I can show up as her as a whole person.
Kim: Nice. So you’re saying like, the parts that we left behind when we like, left ourselves, right? Whenever we’ve had a traumatic event.
Danielle: Right, what we’ve ejected. So either it was ejection from trauma, or it was dejection from society telling you that you should be this way and not that way. And so it’s the parts of you that you left behind that you show up now and it’s like you don’t even recognize yourself.
For me, it was when I found myself in the middle of Fashion Week, and I was super excited, and I was in the energy. That’s when I realized I had left parts of me behind. I was like, I’ve always loved style, I’ve always loved fashion, I’ve always loved being pretty and dressing up, and having fun. If you can imagine yourself as a nine-year-old, what did you love to do whenever you were nine years old? That’s the age that I look at. And, you know, I still love playing with Barbies, and playing dress up with paper dolls. And for some reason we’re told that we have to grow up and be adults and that’s for kids. And we forget about that.
So you know, maybe it was you, you love to sing and dance, and maybe you need to bring in a hobby back in your life, because that really is part of who we are. And so when we leave it in the past we just feel kind of lost, like there’s a piece missing. And when you find that it’s just very liberating.
Kim: So is that, would you say, was the big difference about changing your… Because you came in as a pharmacist, and we really thought you were going to be doing the mind body connection with emotion. I mean, with like the pain recovery and chronic, like it was chronic pain, illness, disease and that stuff. And we kind of played in that for a little while. And then would you say that you started kind of feeling drained and not so excited? Or what was that awakening like?
Danielle: Yeah, so I really was confused about my niche. I felt that there was so much that I could help people with, I knew that I wanted to do this work, that I had a calling to help people. But I felt like because I’m a pharmacist, I should be doing health coaching. Or because I’ve experienced grief that I should be a grief coach. Or that I’ve experienced, you know, relationships with opioid abuse, that I should be helping people with that. There was so much confusion and drama about what my niche should be, but when I really just truly came back to what do I love to do that I would, you know, do every day for free? I love it so much, that I have so much energy doing.
It kind of it caught me off guard that question, I was literally in the heat of it I would say. I was in hot July sun in Louisiana all day long. And I had to go on a call, this coaching call. And the coach asked me, “What is it that you would do for free?” I was like, “Well, I didn’t want to leave what I was just doing for free to come on this call. So, I guess that’s it.” And then we just took off and went from there. And I’ve never looked back, and it just felt so right. And I knew it was right because it just felt easy. And then I started having the clients that said, “Yes, I need that.” And like just people started waking up and saying, “Yes, that is what we see you doing.” And so it just felt really good, it felt comfortable, it felt easy.
Kim: This is how I ended up with hair extensions, and eyelashes, and a style coach. Because you just came alive and it was so fun to play with you. It was like, “Oh, this is definitely it.” And you know, I might have had a little attachment, you know, because we’re all about healing and self-healing. And I was like, “What happened to my girls?” Because Malerie and Danielle were like my physical therapist and my pharmacist and Lynda was the massage therapist. And we were going to do this whole pain body thing, right? And then all of a sudden we’re like, “Oh, sexuality, and intimacy, and style, and marketing. What just happened to the plan here?”
So, it’s been really fun on the other side. But to see, and I’m even like looking at you guys right now, and to see the aliveness behind your eyes, you know, when you really found what it was that, like we’re talking about, it’s the integration. You don’t have to throw the part of you away, you still get to be the pharmacist, and the physical therapist, and the massage therapist as well.
All right, thank you. Leading up to Chanci.
Chanci: Yeah, this is such a juicy conversation and listening to Danielle I’m like, “Yes, yes.” You know, I remember… I’ll tell you first this story, thinking about as a child what I loved to do the most was lay in sunbeams. Just like there was a sun beam coming in the window, and I’d lay there, and I could feel the heat and I just felt so good. And that so brings me back to what I’m doing right now. Right? With pleasure and just embodiment. And oh, it’s so good. Yes, wonderful.
So for me, it really means like the whole person, to make whole, right? And when I studied holistic nutrition, I studied that as opposed to dietitian because of the holistic component. So, when then I became a life coach it was all mindset. And that works, it’s great. But I was wanting deeper, I was wanting more for myself and my clients. So I have a garbage truck in my background, I’m so sorry you guys can hear that. It just happens to be the time.
So I was looking for something more. My clients were getting results, but I was like, there’s so much more here for them. And I, myself, was feeling in a stuck place, right? I was doing well in my business, I was in this relationship, but I’m like stuck, I’m doing all the shoulds. So when I really embraced your work, Kim, I was like, “This feels exactly what I need. I don’t know why, but I know I need it.” And I really felt like it was gonna help me bring my clients deeper to, number one, understand that they are whole. They already are whole, and then to bring them back to that essence. So that is why I love this work. I’m all about it.
Kim: And I think what you’re saying is so important, because whenever you contacted me, you were like, “You know what? My clients, we’re going deeper than just mindset. We’re going more into this healing trauma, and really working on a deep soul level.
And that is something that I see in the coaching industry that is happening. And I believe it’s because of the times that we’re in. And so much has happened that has allowed all of this stuff to bubble up. And that’s my mission, is to make sure that there are people prepared to help them. And you said, “They’re coming to me already. The work is already going there. So I want to know more, I want to understand more.” And you said, “And I want to go even deeper than that, like, I want the deepest cases.”
Which I think is so fascinating, you know, because for us to actually give ourselves permission for pleasure, we’re gonna have to go deep. I mean, we’ve got years, decades, generations, like Danielle was saying, “You can’t play, you got to turn that off. You got to go out and be an adult. You know, you better grow up.” And so we’re having to erase all of that, or the work that you’re doing to get all the way back to that laying in the sun beams.
Chanci: Yes, exactly. I had this, you know, one beautiful client and it was right when I said to you, “I want to attract clients who think that they’re not able to be helped. To think that their trauma is so deep that you know…” And then this beautiful client came into my life and during our consult she’s like, “Chanci, I just want to feel like a fairy running through the woods again. Like I did when I was a six-year-old girl. Right?” And by the end of our time together that was her. Even her social media changed. Like everything about her transformed into that feeling like a pixie in the woods. And it’s just so fulfilling.
And it starts with, yes, that integrative approach of like bringing them back to their whole selves, and then they can sparkle, you know, as they are meant to in the beginning. So fun.
Kim: I want to circle back around to Lynda because I want to dial it in to her too. Because it is really the intimacy, and the sexual pleasure, and the, like bringing that connection back into the partnerships and relationships when exactly what Danielle said also, that you’re supposed to grow, up you got to go be a parent now, you got to go to work, you need to go cut the grass. Like there’s no time for this, right?
That’s kind of the culture that we’re in, Lynda. So how, like the need for the integration process just to override that.
Lynda: Oh, yeah, moms cannot be sexy. What are you talking about?
They’re not supposed to have fun. They’re not supposed to be having sex in the bedroom while the kids are, you know, in the other part of the house. It’s so crazy how we deny ourselves the pleasure in a relationship, or the intimacy in a relationship, to just have that time and connection with our spouse. Not even outside relationships, just even with our spouse. Just because you’re supposed to be cooking, you’re supposed to be cleaning, you’re supposed to be working, you’re supposed to be taking care of the babies.
And then there’s also like the religion aspect to it. It’s like you have to be this perfect, proper, prim person. And there’s almost a guilt when you get through having an intimate connection with your spouse. It’s like, “Oh my gosh, is that wrong for me to enjoy that so much?”
The intimacy thing is between religion, society, what moms are supposed to be like, and then, you know, taking it back into like trauma and abuse. I mean, those things can really hinder the intimacy as well. And getting back to like, the playful side of things and being able to see the pleasure, and intimacy, and connection as a positive, playful thing versus like, a taboo, wrong, or bring up feelings of disgust, or insecurity, or lack of safety. So, yeah, it’s all so relevant, it’s so connected.
Kim: And what would you say to those who are listening, where it’s like, even this inability to orgasm? Like it’s been completely unavailable. Like there is someone who is listening that has no idea what that feels like.
Lynda: Let me tell you, I have experienced this too. And it was because of the trauma that I experienced in life. I completely shut that ability off. I did not let myself connect with my feelings, connect with my emotions, connect with my body. So the act of sex and intimacy with my spouse was literally like a check mark on my box. You know, it wasn’t something I did for pleasure, because it brought up so much stuff from my past. Not that I was aware, it just brought up the feelings, the uncomfortable feelings for me. I didn’t enjoy it, it was uncomfortable.
But being able to go through that work, dive deep into what was bringing up these feelings, and being able to realize like, “Oh, you’re safe, and this is actually supposed to be pleasurable. This isn’t just a to-do list thing.” You know, I’m able to check into my body and instead of like thinking the whole time, I’m able to actually engage and be in the moment with him. And then when I’m in the moment with them, that’s when pleasure comes back.
Kim: It’s like, “Yes, more please. Like, what was that?” I remember your text.
Lynda: I’m paying 1,000 times over again for that. I remember that text too. Oh my gosh.
Kim: We’d have to pull that up and bring it out. It was hilarious. All right. Thanks for that. Guys, you know we go deep into our conversations. I’m like, following the flow of you guys. So I want to come back to Malerie about what like your experience in that struggle between what you really wanted to do and yet what your environment did not understand. And then you kind of being that people pleaser. And what was that like for you when you were like, “I really am moving out of physical therapy. And there’s something more that I want to do. And I want a better relationship with my family, with my partner than what I have seen possible before.” How was that experience for you, when you were moving through that?
Malerie: How was the experience? Oh my God, so many emotions. So I grew up just believing that I needed to go to school, get a professional degree, and be working in healthcare. For job security, to make good money, to be able to provide for my family. So, I did all that I checked off all of those boxes, I have a doctorate degree in physical therapy. I moved back home from where I was going to school, started a family, bought the house, did all the things. And something wasn’t right.
I felt like everything was just kind of monotone and bland. Like there was no color. There was nothing that just felt so fun and so great. And I didn’t understand why. And it wasn’t until I started kind of playing around with the idea of being an entrepreneur. And even then, like, I still couldn’t believe that I could totally transition into doing that all the time.
Like I didn’t think that it was possible for me. I didn’t think that I would have anyone’s support. I didn’t even believe that I had what it took to do that. Because I had already done so much work to earn the degree that I had. And then my husband’s argument for a while was still, “You have all these student loans from PT school, and you’re going to not even be working as a PT?” And I was like, “Why does it matter how I pay those loans back as long as they get paid back, right?” So that was a hard thing. I had to process that too, not even just him, but like, I had to get over the thought that, “Okay, it’s okay to do that.”
But then when the opportunity came, it wasn’t even me like saying, “Okay, I’m not going to do this job anymore.” It was, “This job is no longer available for you.” So thank God I had already opened up the door to entrepreneurship and gotten myself going, because that’s what saved me.
At the time that that happened, there was no other option. For months for like, almost all of last year, there was no other option. This was it and like, “Okay, well, this is God saying, This is what you’re supposed to do go out and do it.” Because I never would have left that job, it felt safe, and it felt secure. Until all of a sudden it wasn’t, it’s like the rug got pulled out from underneath me.
Kim: This is your unconscious coming to reality, your deepest desires coming to reality. This is so important because what we believe deep down, what we really want, is being expressed whether we know it or not, or whether we like it or not. And so it does, it does happen. When someone says yes, it’s kind of like when you’re walking arm in arm, and you look behind you and that barn has blown up. Sometimes it just does.
So you did it. You went all the way through, you had your first amazing month. And then what was your thought looking back? Like, once you got –
Malerie: By the time it really got going it’s like, “Oh my god, this is that feeling that I’ve been looking for the whole time that I didn’t know what it was, or where to find it, or how to create it.” It was this feeling of freedom. Of being able to do the thing that felt so good and it could still support me. Like I can make money doing this thing that felt so good.
I’m still kind of mind blown talking about it, honestly. Because like every day I get to go and like, yeah, I have my long to-do list now too. But still, it’s like I get to create things and it feels so fun, and just playful, and colorful, and juicy. And like all the things that Chanci was talking about, like, that’s what this feels like. And I can’t imagine how I could have created that otherwise, other than going through all of those experiences and realizing what I didn’t want, to come to realize whatever it looked like this is the feeling that I’ve been wanting.
Kim: Yes, that is it. Everything we do is because we want to feel a certain way. So good.
Danielle, what was your biggest challenge or awakening moment? Or even like where you are today, because today’s like a great day for you. You’re like, “Coach calls, consultations, interview on the podcast. And then I’m gonna go take my client on a VIP shopping trip.” You are in it right now.
Danielle: All the things. I started off my morning this morning with a New York Fashion designer that I quickly developed a relationship with at the end of last year. Which all came from really letting go. So, just similar to what Malerie’s story was, is that I had this calling. And, you know, the sound security of pharmacy is just the easy carrot that you just want to go after. And it’s easy to go back and tell yourself all the lies that you can’t do it, you’re not good enough, someone else was meant to do it, not you.
But for me, you know, I just knew I had this calling. And it was in August of this past year when I had already committed to becoming a functional medicine pharmacist. You know, I feel like I already practice functional medicine just through the mindset and the integrative approach. But truly, you know, getting the nutrition, the lab work, and really diving into getting another degree, I guess you could say.
But my heart was still like telling me that you’re not in the right place. You’re not in the right place. And so I tried delaying it. So I just kind of pressed the pause on that certification until like it really came face value to me and you know, do you want to take a left or do you want to take a right? And I just heard all of my past coaches and mentors telling me that you have to focus, it’s like a laser beam of light. And, you know, I just felt that fashion was for me, styling was for me.
So I said no, and I lost that investment. I just dropped it, let it go. And as soon as I closed that door, all the other doors started opening for me. I connected with the fashion designer, I had the successful retreat at this $3 million house that I would have never even envisioned, but I knew when it showed up it was perfect for me. I have some ideal clients that came through that were like my, I call them my beautiful soul clients. And it’s like it’s just started happening, it just started becoming an easy flow. And that’s what I had been trying to make happen. But as soon as I said no to one thing. It was like my heart and my soul was saying yes to the other thing. And it just opened up so much towards the end of the year.
And then this beginning of this year is more of the same. So I’m like, “Yes, thank you and more, please.” That’s our saying. So, thank you more, please. And I think that’s what we’re here to do. We’re here to really find our calling, find what we’re drawn to, and follow that. And what’s so beautiful about it is whenever you do that, you invite others to do it as well. So super fun.
Kim: Yeah, that willingness to just be surprised what you haven’t even imagined yet and just allowing it to come through. Because you had not envisioned that at all, right? It’s so much more than we can conceive. Because we’re so limited. Our mind is so limited, and it thinks it knows everything and it wants to control everything.
But I love that we’re moving me into Chanci because this was kind of a thing with her. She was wanting to go back to that secure plan, you know, go back to school, go get the other thing go do –
Chanci: Right. I’m laughing too, right, I’m like, “Oh my God, we’re all so similar.”
Kim: Moving right along.
Chanci: I love it. Yeah. So for me, I grew up really always believing that God had a plan. And that life was like a choose your own adventure, but anything other than that one path was wrong. And then you were not going to feel satisfied. It was not going to be, ultimately, what was destined for you. Like this is just this belief that I don’t even know if anyone taught it to me, it’s just what I thought.
So I had, okay, I’m going to get my degree, I’m going to work, I’m going to get married right after I’m done with school. And then I’m going to have my three children before I’m 30. And then in my 30s, I’m just going to be a teacher, because that’s what I studied to do. And then in my 40s, you know, my kids will be older, life is pretty much over.
So, oh my God, can you even imagine? So now, it was difficult for me because life fell apart in my 30s. Everything happened the way I planned. But then my daughter, she got a brain tumor when I was in my early 30s. And as a result of that my marriage fell apart as well. It wasn’t the result of that, but it was the catalyst for something that was really good to happen for my marriage to end. And everything started to unravel.
So I was like, “Oh, my goodness.” Like picking up the pieces, trying to pick up the pieces and be like, “Everything’s falling apart. I’m going to live in a van down by the river.” Right? Like, this was my story. And then I was like, okay, I got back on track, right? I met this great guy; I built a really beautiful business and things were going along. But I was not satisfied at all. And I would wake up every morning full of anxiety. And I would go, my thing, I’m going to tell every one of my things today.
I go and lay on my bathroom floor. That’s where I can find, you know, calm privacy, and I bring tons of blankies in there and just lay there and cry every single morning and be like, “Why am I feeling this way? I have the business. I have this guy. I have this beautiful, blended family now, five children. Like, I have this great home, I have a beautiful dog, why am I feeling this way?”
And it was through the work then that I did with you where I allowed it to all like crack open. And to finally admit to myself what I really, really wanted, right? To feel free, to play more, and more pleasure. Just to like discover who I am, that essence at my very core.
And in order to do that I had to let the relationship go that was really good. I had to step out of the business that was thriving that I was about to scale in. You know, I had to… I still have my beautiful dog and my kids are here. But I had to let go of my other two stepchildren and just trust that life has my back. That I have my back, trust life. You know, my motto became willing to be surprised.
And holy man, is it fabulous. You know, like some days I wake up and I’m like, “What am I doing still?” Right? Like, my bitch brain gets in there. I’m like, “No, this is what you want.” And it takes those hard emotions, feeling all of that discomfort to get through on the other side, to find that juicy life, all of those emotions that you only really get to experience when you’re willing to go through it, right? Go through that muck.
So that’s where I’m at. And it’s just such a wild ride. It’s great.
Kim: That’s what makes it so exciting and rich though. It’s like there’s a part of us when we’ve experienced trauma in the past that we’ll get to this protective point to where we’re like, “Okay, we’re safe now. Like we’ve got like all that stuff, we’re just going to like just, we’re just gonna smooth flow and up until 40 and we’re gonna die. It’s all good.” Exactly like you said, you know, or 60 or whatever the number is for us. And it doesn’t take long to realize that there’s nothing worse than boredom and dissatisfaction.
Chanci: Yeah. And I knew deep down it was like I had this bubbling inside. And it wasn’t actually anxiety I don’t think, it was this energy that was in me that was just like, “Come on Chanci, I want to come out. Your clients need this, there’s women like are waiting for you to step into who you really are here.” And being willing to also feel judged again, you know, being raised in the church, and then divorce, and then finding this other person. And then goodbye, right? And I was just like, “Oh, my goodness, what are people going to think?” And then I’m like, “Oh, the people who matter are going to think it’s fabulous. And they’re going to be attracted to me, and they’re going to hire me.” And they are. And as a result, I’m just seeing so many other women, you know, step into their greatness as well. It’s pretty amazing.
Kim: It’s like Danielle said, when we give ourselves permission, that’s when the rest have permission to shine too because they come along. Because when we can be the example that, of our own potential, you know, and then we’re inviting everyone else come in and play with your potential come in and see what that’s about, see what that feels like. But if we don’t ever step up and have these conversations and talk about that, then they won’t know. Like, they won’t know that they can do it, too. That they have permission to do it to or that it’s possible.
And I think it’s because it’s so scary, especially right now. I do think it’s a little risky to share your story, because there’s so much energy and anger, and like all that. I mean, it’s not many things you can say that don’t get taken a certain by whatever side. So it’s like I’ve noticed that I’ve been really picky about where I have these conversations at.
My podcast is a safe space, I give a voice to anyone there. And that, you know, it’s like, I’m comfortable with that. And I want to offer that or my platform or whatever, for the individual to have their personal experience and to be able to share it. Because there is someone, when we share that story, there is someone that we are speaking for. There is someone being seen and heard, because we’re willing to be seen and heard.
And they may even be in a position where they’re locked into this, whether it’s through the marriage or their religion or their whatever it is where they’re kind of locked in that box, and they don’t have a voice, their voice has been taken away, which is why we know there’s so many issues with thyroids. That’s thyroid and adrenal fatigue, because we can’t speak our voice. We can’t be all that we are, we can’t stand up. We can’t like…
Anyway, you guys, you know I love human design. I love all of these things. And I bring it into my coaching because I really think it helps us to… It’s data that we inquire about, and we test, and we try out. And we see if it fits, we see how it feels. We throw it away if it doesn’t, which I don’t think has ever happened. And so I want to talk about the difference that it has made, like me bringing that into the conversation. Maybe introducing you to some aspects that, something that you maybe were familiar with, but you didn’t see this way.
Anything like that, that you want to share personally on how it was part of that integrative process. Because the first step, you know, with the punch line approach, that’s the one thing we all have in common here is the punch line approach and the integrative process, which is mental, emotional, and spiritual combination to have a better physical experience that has, has it made a difference in your life? How did you feel once you heard me read it to you or share it with you? Like, how would you say that? We’ll just kind of go around the room. I’m going to start with Malerie.
Malerie: When you first started sending me charts and started reading things to me that were like my charts it was scary at first. But it woke something up inside of me that I didn’t know was there. And it helped to give me permission for the things that I thought I was doing wrong. And it’s like, “No, this is what you’re supposed to be doing.” Like so much of that you tell me all the time, is it the three five part of my chart that is the one that like goes and tries a bunch of things and figures out what works and what doesn’t work? Like I was beating myself up because I hadn’t figured it all out yet. But it’s like, “Oh yeah, that’s just the role I’m supposed to play right now.”
Kim: And I can’t possibly do anything that’s not gonna work right? Like you weren’t giving yourself that trial and error. It was all that black and white, it has to work, it has to work.
Malerie: Yeah, like coming to the understanding that like yes, this is your profile, this is how you generally function the best. But it’s okay if it doesn’t exactly fit. Like you can choose if that’s going to work for you or not. You can try it on see how it feels, test it out a little bit. Do some things and figure out if that works for you or not, and if it doesn’t then just let it go. Like it’s given me a lot.
Kim: Nice. So I’m looking at Chanci, Lynda, and Danielle, who are all six twos and myself, and Malerie is a three five. But the cool thing is we are threes until we’re 50. And so that’s why we work so well with the three five.
So with that said, Danielle, whenever I kind of started bringing in and describing and explaining or like, “How does it fit?” Or “Oh, this is what I see.” Like, how did that work for you? What was your experience?
Danielle: For me it was such a relief. Similar to what Malerie said, it was that permission to be myself. I had so much judgment and comparison, especially if you look into like social media. So I’m this newly budding entrepreneur, who should be putting herself out there and doing Facebook lives every day, and you know, be everywhere for everyone. And it just, it wouldn’t fit. It just felt hard, it felt difficult.
For a month I would back out and I would disappear. And then the whole time I’m disappearing I’m supposed to be resting, right, and coming back to myself. And I’m beating myself up the whole time. I feel like crap the whole time. And so then I come out, you know, supposed to be rested. And I’m not because I just beat myself up behind the light.
And whenever I learned that I was a six two I was the hermit, the role model. Like no, that is what I do. That is part of me. I’m a hermit, like, I’m supposed to go within. I’m supposed to go gather information, and learn, and read, and go to myself, and it’s okay. And so I no longer beat myself up anymore for that. I actually get the rest that I go within for. And so when I come out, I have so much more information to share with people, I have a brighter light.
And the six part of it, that I’m supposed to be this role model. So I’ve always felt like I was sort of a leader, but then I was like this introvert. So it was just confusing to me. But when I realized like I’m actually a role model, I’m not the leader. I always felt that way, I always felt like, I couldn’t be president, but I could be vice president. Or, you know, the second man, not the first man. I don’t want to lead, but I want to be leading.
So it was always confusing to me. But now I realize like no, I’m the role model. I’m not the leader but I am the role model. And I have some big stuff that I have to share. And so when it’s really hard, like I know, okay, this is in my design, and I can do this. And it’s really important that I do it. So that’s pretty much what it was like for me.
Kim: Nice. Malerie’s a generator, you’re a manifesting generator, Lynda you’re a generator. And then Chanci is a projector. So we’re going to come to the projector, but she’s also a six two.
And we do a lot of work on this with Chanci and I. So I really honor and respect the mechanics of your being, you know, and if I see you acting up or you know, it’s like, “Hey, hey, hey, bring that back in, this is what’s happening, right?” I try to do that without being controlling but let you see it for yourself and make those decisions.
So Chanci, you want to talk about what a difference it’s made for you personally as a projector especially?
Chanci: Yeah, for sure. You know, I was really looking into human design before I hired you, Kim. And I remember our first call, I was like, I want to be part of it. I want to dive deeper into this with you.” And I loved that you were on board. And you’re like, “When’s your birthday?” And I’m like, “Oh, I’m a six two projector.” I told you all my things, right? And you’re like, “Oh.” And then you knew so much, and I’m like, “This is so cool.”
So, as a projector, I’m a mental projector so I’m wide open. And one of the biggest things that I’ve always sort of thought was wrong with me was that I couldn’t make decisions. My authority is hearing myself talk, right? Being able to, like, express what I’m thinking and then have the other person express that back to me. And then from there, I’m like, “Oh, now I know what to do.” So you really held the space for me in our coaching for that and it made a huge difference. It was like the first time I was actually able to make powerful decisions from a very powerful place. So that was that.
And then the six two has been massive as well. And the role model thing too, and the hermit, right. So being a projector I need to rest tons. And a hermit, I’m like, “Oh, it’s not that I’m lazy. It’s not that I don’t want to work and I just want to be in the trees all day.” I’m like, “That’s actually part of my design.” And when I spend tons of time in nature and in the trees, then I can show up for my clients even better.
So as a result, I went from like 20 clients, that was where I was at, until I’m like, “I cap off at 12 so I can serve them and serve myself.” And that’s made a huge difference in my business as well.
Kim: Yeah, because what happens when you start acting like a generator or a manifester?
Chanci: Then I lay on my bathroom floor with anxiety.
Kim: You have that Elizabeth Gilbert moment in the bathroom.
Chanci: Yes, exactly. And everything feels like it’s falling apart, and I hate it all. And yeah, you’ve been really good for me too because as this entrepreneur and I love doing what I’m doing, it’s like, “Oh, I’m going to do this and this, and I’m going to go here.” And you’re like, “Wait for the invitation.” It’s really quite a freeing way to be living because in my business I’m like I show up and they will come. I’m not going to go and be like aggressively marketing.
It’s like my job, part of my business plan, I have it up on my wall, is my job is to sparkle. And business is pleasure and pleasure is business. And when I’m living in that, that’s when my business thrives, right? So it all goes along with the human design.
Kim: So good. So good to inquire. And guys, I want to say this to the audience, this is not a new guru, a new god, a new thing to follow. That’s the last thing I want them doing. It’s like I continually bring them back to personal inquiry, self-inquiry. Come in, dial in, let’s see what this feels like.
I think it’s important to say that because there are lots of people out there who are reading charts who are telling people who they should and shouldn’t be married to, and they should get divorced, and that’s not the person for you. And guys you got to run. If someone is telling you that you need to run. Like no one has authority, human design is about you being an authority.
So I want to say that before we move on to Lynda who is also a six two, she is a generator. We have a lot of things in common. She’s kind of like the little mini me. Wouldn’t you say there’s a lot of things we bounce back off of each other?
Kim: What’s it been like for you since you’ve discovered more about yourself?
Lynda: Well just speaking on authority, one of the things that finding out about human design for me has done, I’m a sacral inner authority and so I have to be able to trust myself and trust my instinct, my inner authority. I always know right away.
And I used to have so much doubt in myself that even though I knew right away what the right choice was I would talk myself out of it. And then later on I’d find out I should have went with my gut instinct, I should have went with my first decision. It happened over and over again. When it came to relationships, when it came to business decisions, any kind of choices it was always… I had an episode of this yesterday. My gut told me be here at this time, go there. And I’m like, “Nope, I’ll go do that later.” And then had a phone call, I should have been there. But that’s just my inner authority, it tells me the right thing to do.
But also, realizing that when I’m not myself, when I’m out of alignment, the frustration. So now when I start to get in these frustrated states it’s like, “Okay, where am I stepping off my path? Where am I not in alignment? What am I doing here that is not in alignment with what I’m supposed to be doing?” And now it’s so easy to recognize this and put myself back in check. That’s been really amazing because whether it be with the house, or with work, or business stuff I can feel myself starting to get frustrated. Things aren’t fun, things aren’t enjoyable, it’s just nothing but frustration.
I’m pretty open, like my chart is pretty open, and going through life I’ve always taken on a lot of other people’s ideals and thoughts and emotions. I always felt like I was living not my life, like I would believe something but something in me didn’t. That’s what I would put out as my belief but that’s what I truly felt within.
So it’s really opened my eyes to a lot of who I am and what I’m supposed to be doing, and how to keep myself moving forward in alignment.
Kim: So fun. I wanted to just kind of bring that in guys. It’s not that it’s everything but it has made such a difference I think in the integrative transition with you all, I think that was a big component of getting you on track, getting you in alignment. And when you embodied, that’s when the business started coming. That’s when you started like getting to know yourself better, getting more comfortable, and more confident.
Is there anything that I missed? Look at me covering it all. All right, we’ll do this again. I want to do a Q&A, so we’ll do a Q&A follow-up about your specialties if anyone has any questions and we’re going to continue doing these partnership calls and panel calls. I appreciate you coming on. Thank you for your vulnerability and your honesty, and your beautiful smiles. Bye.
All right folks, that is what I have for you this week. I hope you enjoyed, and I look forward to bringing more of these panels on where we will do specific topics and interview more of the coaches and we also want to do some Q&A’s. So if you have any questions or follow-up that you want to discuss from anyone that I have interviewed in the last few weeks then you are welcome to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. And I will get the questions, bring the guests back on, and we will answer them on the air. Have a great week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.