Ep #223: The Power of Being You

 

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Ep #223: The Power of Being You

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

All right, hey there, and welcome back to the show. So, fair warning, just so you know, I am definitely in a very calm and easeful state, so I am not sure what is going to come out of this episode. I was just listening to the transits and Gene Key 8, and really, I am feeling this on all levels. My question for you is: what’s the litmus test of where we are as you’re listening to this? What is your belief around, or what is your description of, authentic expression? Is there a connection between authentic expression and soul essence? For you, is this something that you really desire, but you’re not quite sure that it’s okay for you to fully express your individuality?

It is something that is hugely important for me, not only in my work but also in my personal life and my design for my family. It is hugely important that we can transparently express ourselves as individual beings and our soul essence, and I’m not sure how easy it is to do that in the material world, especially with social media and this new popularity thing like: how many followers do you have on TikTok or Instagram? What makes you prominent or important? It seems to all go back to popularity, how many people follow you, how much money you have, and how famous you are. This doesn’t sit well with me, especially in the last few weeks.

I’m not sure if you’ve been following along and have noticed, but there is definitely a change in my being. Whether this has to do with coming off the roof even further as a human in a 6-2 role model or if it’s really getting to better understand the emotional wave, or as I spoke about a few weeks ago, maybe it is the art of waiting to respond.

But I have lost the desire to jump ahead, to fix, to convince, to force anything, which is almost counterproductive and irresponsible because I’ve been conditioned by my beliefs of what a responsible human being is and how I am supposed to perform. I also talked a few weeks ago about these agendas and understandings, like taking on these causes. I’m thinking of when I went to Sedona a few years ago, and I was in this Joan of Arc energy, and I needed this crystal, this gem represented that. I didn’t want to lose that commitment, that Joan of Arc fighting warrior in me that was really wanting to help shift humanity. It was all about individuality, fighting for people to be themselves, for them to be free, for them to be at ease, for them to be in flow with life, and it’s still important today. But I don’t feel like I have to make it happen. I don’t feel this urgency. I don’t want to commit, and maybe it’s being on the verge of what may have felt like or could have been a burnout, but something rather suddenly shifted in my body. This wasn’t something that I thought about, something that I did differently, or anything that happened. It was a sensation, a feeling, and I am very sure about this.

I remember at one point when it felt like I was trying too hard. It felt like ice picks in my forehead, like in my frontal cortex. It was challenging for me to stay and listen when I felt like there was something, like I was having to think too hard, trying to figure things out, and it wasn’t comfortable anymore, so I stopped doing it. And then I had a moment of normal, I guess you can call it normal again, that I acclimated or adapted to that, and then it suddenly felt like there was no more energy for the fight. And guys, if you know me, I have a lot of energy, a lot of fight, a lot of commitment. I’m a big, massive energy in physical form as well as energetic form, and I lost interest in that too.

So for a while, I debated, questioned, and contemplated whether I was depressed. Had I given in to exhaustion and hopelessness? I don’t think that was the case. It doesn’t feel that way anyway. But for years, I was driven by the fact that we have a 28% suicide rate. I felt the need to save people, to get these tools and skill sets of communication, understanding, and personal development into the hands of more people. It felt very real and very urgent.

I thought about my five children, their partners, my grandchildren, and the 20 people in my close-knit family. When I looked at that percentage, it felt very scary, and being a survivor of that, it felt even more real. I thought it was something that most people experienced. I didn’t know until years later that it wasn’t true, but it still felt very real to me. I believed that if they knew better or had the resources, they wouldn’t check out. I’ve had some very close friends, and my son’s best friend, who succeeded in taking their own life.

Another thing, right, is that there’s such a fear of saying the wrong thing. I actually think every soul has its way in this world, and I believe that it’s the mind that causes the temptation to want to check out, and that’s coming from conditioning, limiting beliefs, and experiences. Sometimes the mind wins, you know, and that’s pretty sad. Even being okay with how things end, whether it’s in friendships, death, jobs, careers, or the parts that I’m serving in this time and space, even changing the way I do it feels very surreal for me right now. I’ve been contemplating taking time off, which I’ve never done, maybe a sabbatical, maybe getting in the van and just leaving for a while. I do travel quite a bit; I just got back from Colorado, so I left last week and then I was in Florida a few weeks ago, and I’m going to be going to Tennessee in a few weeks. So I do leave, but this contemplation stays with me no matter where I’m at. I know there’s not a running away or getting away from it because I’ll go wherever I end up. I’m kind of over the whole running away thing, but I know I’ve rambled on for this one. It’s just a space for me to contemplate what’s going on for myself, my body, and my clients right now. One thing that I am is transparent. I don’t think I’m in a bad place; I just think I’m in a different place, and I’m feeling it out. I don’t want to pretend, and I don’t want to be the victim of it either. I want to be fully embodied in the experience as it is now, whether it’s the low or high end of a wave, whether it’s coming off the roof, whether it’s just being in contemplation and maybe bringing something new or different into my presence, my awareness, or maybe bringing it to clients. I’m with it and with it.

So, I do have a few minutes left to talk about the topic I wanted to discuss, which is really about this authentic expression of who you are, not the image that you believe you have to be, but who you are on a soul level, and expressing it individually, uniquely, and organically. When I think about organic produce, it hasn’t been filled with pesticides and fillers; it’s a very clean version. I think about that for ourselves – if we could have this organic expression or image of ourselves, what would it look like if it wasn’t tampered with, if it wasn’t doused with information or misinformation, if it wasn’t filled with have-to’s or should-be’s or whatever came to you through generational patterning, societal conditioning, environmental messaging, our upbringing, and our experiences and the messages that we adopted? If you just took some time and maybe took out a paper and a pen and made a list of these shoulds, “I should be this way, I should be like them, if I were like that and I were popular and I were famous, then I could do this thing,” and all the shoulds. Because we see this on social media; we see what worked for someone else, and then the mind thinks, “Oh, if I adopted that, it would work for me.” But just so you know, they don’t really tell you what works until after it has worked, and that is because they don’t really know what’s going to work. We don’t know. It is not planned out, it is not mentally orchestrated; you just throw a bunch of stuff out there, and some things stick, and some things don’t. Sometimes you just happen to catch a really big wave, and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes the wave just beats you down and throws you into the sand on the shoreline, and you just get whipped by it. And sometimes you ride the top of the wave. Are you okay with all of it? Are you okay with really tapping into who you are on a soul level, what brings you joy, and what feels easy, that you don’t have to pretend or train for or pretend to be a certain way? I just am what I am, and I am being all of that to the greatest capacity that I can actually achieve, without changing that organic, unique, raw expression.

Then, what is it like taking a pause and noticing all the “have-to’s”, all the rules, and what it’s like to be in business and on social media today? I don’t know if you guys know this, but my Facebook has been limited. I said something they thought was offensive, and it was like a warning. So my reach is limited now. If I’m not mistaken, if I comment in a group, it’s going to be the last of the comments, and I am very restricted right now. I think it’s fascinating. It’s giving me a taste of what it’s like to be invisible on social media.

What would it be like if I weren’t a slave to this way of communicating, if I didn’t have to play by these rules? Could I fully trust that the universe has my back, that God leads my steps, that spirit leads the way, and exactly who should find me does, and exactly where I should be is where I am? What if I didn’t need all that? It’s giving me the opportunity to explore that. What if it’s not true? What if it’s just something I’ve come to believe because, for the last 13 years, that’s how I have served and what I have done? That’s what I have shown up for in the way the coach, guru, or guides are saying. I think social media is a beautiful thing. It’s definitely a way I’ve built some amazing relationships and nurtured them. I’ve got some great friends I’ve met online and in-person, and we have some of my best friends. Those relationships grew online, but things are changing, times are changing, and the way the algorithm is changing. I think it’s a very interesting time.

So, I’m curious – what does “organic” look like for you? What does “raw” look like? And what about being fully exposed and expressing yourself in delights, in whatever it is? Maybe it’s even in sadness, maybe it’s in confusion, maybe it’s conflicted and just being in the chaos. Are you afraid to show up that way, or do you come out anyway? Because that’s the temptation, right? I’ve been recording the show for, I don’t know, around 225, over 200, probably more like 250 weeks, because I did have a previous podcast. So imagine, for 250 weeks, week after week after week, continuing to show up, no matter what the mood is, no matter what the wave is or what is going on in my life, whether there is loss or joy or confusion or conflict, but just to continue to show up and express what is moving through me. How is life appearing for me? Am I willing to show up in that anyway, even though I don’t have all the answers, even though some people may expect that I do? Because I don’t.

And if we were being raw in expression and we were in soul essence, it would not be the same. Week after week, we move through seasons. And when we are trying to retain what the mind considers successful, then we actually move into resistance rather than flow, because we are resisting change that is coming. Can you imagine this? Constantly resisting change. The body changes, the mind changes, we change, our friends change, our economy changes. We would be in constant conflict, illness, and disease because we would be constantly resisting that change. But change is all we can count on, guys. Change is all that we got. So, I’m going to leave you with questioning that this week.

Do you believe that there’s a certain way you should be showing up, that maybe you should be an expert authority, or have your life together, or be at the top of your game all the time, or be constantly visible? And how does that feel for you? Is it working? Would you like to show up as you are, naked, raw, and afraid? Are you willing to try it? Or do you think that there’s a specific image you have to uphold? Do you have to keep it contained and make it look a certain way?

This is something that I see my clients struggle with, especially once they come through the coach training because there’s this agenda of the coach that’s supposed to have it all together, who’s supposed to not have any of these changes affect them. And I think that’s bogus. You are not living a fully expressed life. If you are always trying to be in your A-game, have everything together, and look perfect, it is unattainable. That perfection, an image of everyone looking a certain way, is unattainable. It is impossible. But if you were showing up raw, transparent, and with integrity – which, in my opinion, we should be if we want to be truly authentic and open in all that we are in our beingness – if I were to say that and then, at the same time, say that you need to show up and look a certain way and be perfect, I would be a hypocrite. So it doesn’t work. But I hear you, I get the comments, the emails, and the responses.

That’s someone who is, whether you want to call it an authority, a leader, or leading something, it’s harmful for you to show up in anything other than perfection. And I disagree, I think it’s BS, I think that’s someone’s belief system. And I actually think it is harmful because it is harmful to your full expression, it is harmful to your soul’s expression, and it is harmful even to those to whom you’re expressing, because it’s not real. It’s not real, and so I guess you get to decide: do you prefer it to look perfect and be fake and carry on with this certain image that you’re supposed to uphold? That should equal success. That’s one option. Or are you willing to show up transparent, unique, raw, expressing whatever is moving through you in the moment and trusting because those are two different things. We cannot predict that, like we can’t. We don’t know what’s going to be happening in this world. It is changing so fast, and it seems like the faster it changes and the more wildly it gets, the harder, the harder. This social thing hangs on and tries to force it and tries to sell it and tries to shove it down your throat. And I’m going to ask you if you’re willing to pause, whether it’s for 30 seconds, 90 seconds, three minutes, or 30 minutes. Pause and wait to respond. Just wait, watch, become the witness, and see if you can spend more time in presence. And if it’s such a temptation that you can’t pry yourself away from social media, go walk outside in nature, maybe do some breath work or some tapping, or maybe you can have a blog or a podcast and just express it as it moves through you and be willing to be surprised by what comes out, whether it makes sense or not.

I’d be very curious to know if this resonates with you, if this is something you can relate to, or if it could be the thing that makes you say, “Yep, not perfect enough, can’t depend on her image to be the same every week. I’m out of here, I’m never watching this again, I’m never following this again,” for whatever reason your mind comes up with. However, I’m going to tell you this: the life that I am experiencing now, being in trust and exposing the contemplations that move through, has been so impactful for friends, clients, and my health that I’m not willing to go back. So, however it turns out is how it turns out, and I want to invite you to contemplate whether you have an agenda or if someone has an agenda of what they think success looks like or should look like, and what you need to do in order to attain that. Are you willing to challenge it? Are you willing to step aside or step back and question it? Or does that feel too scary because that’s valid as well? It feels very scary; my mind is freaking out. There’s so much experience of forcing and attaining and making it happen. I have 27 years of doing it differently, and it feels like I could fall and fail at any moment. It feels like I could lose everything and everyone, but I’m surrendered to that, and I’m willing to allow that, and we’ll see what’s on the other side.

So, if this resonates, you can come into the More Than Mindset Facebook group. If you can relate to this and you have friends who you think could relate to this, then share the show, whether you’re on YouTube or on the podcast, or wherever you’re hearing this. If you feel like it could help someone else feel stable with all the instability that’s going on around us, maybe someone who is questioning life itself, or questioning agendas, or even questioning themselves and where they’re going from here, and you think they can benefit from this, then I’d appreciate a share. Let others know that this show exists. And if you want to leave a rating and review, that would be appreciated. You don’t have to say much, just let me know that you’re listening, let me know that you’re here, and that you’re interested. Maybe it does relate, and maybe you do feel more empowered, knowing that you’re not crazy and you’re not alone.

Because here’s the thing: We are alone, but we’re doing it together. And I think it is all about personal responsibility because what we are looking for is inside of us. It is not out there. There is nothing on social media that is stable, grounded, and forever. It’s just not. What you’re looking for is inside of yourself, and when you can stabilize that trust in yourself, you can get a taste of ease and you can kind of flow with life. Just know that your mind is going to freak out. It just does. It wants to know all the things, it wants to orchestrate the next step, and that’s kind of counterproductive to what the soul wants. The soul wants to be untethered and grow, evolve, explore, taste, and express. So I’ll leave you with that.

We do have a Wellness Week coming up in the middle of June, in case you’re catching this before. It’s going to be five days. I’m going to be talking about the power of mindset, really understanding your mind and what your mind is doing. We’ll be talking about illness, disease, chronic pain, and the mind-body disconnection. We’ll be talking about Ayurveda and a holistic path to wellness, as well as improving relationships, intimacy, and money, talking about the difference between financial and wealth. That’s going to be happening in a few weeks, so I would love for you to attend. Let your friends know it’s absolutely free. So, I hope to see you there. Have an amazing week. Take a pause for 30 seconds, three minutes, or 30 minutes. Go for a walk outside, allow nature to speak to you and through you, and be in presence. Let me know how it goes.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.