As children, we are taught what to believe in order to get what we want. To get presents at Christmas, we have to believe in Santa. To go to heaven, we have to believe in Jesus. To get money for our baby teeth, we have to believe in the Tooth Fairy.
What we weren’t taught was to believe in ourselves. And as adults, we struggle to believe in our dreams, our marriages, our businesses. We’re afraid to believe.
Today, I’m continuing the theme of believing by helping you learn how to reveal your true beliefs, unpack them, and then decide if those are the beliefs you want to have. Your beliefs directly correlate to your behavior, so if you’re not happy with how you’re showing up in your life, dissecting and unpacking your beliefs is something you need to do, and I’m showing you how today.
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- How to know what you believe right now.
- Why we are really afraid to believe in ourselves.
- What is required to change our beliefs for good.
- Why it’s easier not to believe.
- How you will keep repeating the past if you’re not aware of the power of your beliefs.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to More than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion, to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Hey there and welcome back. I hope you enjoyed the last few weeks where I had clients and guests on the show to talk about the work that we’re doing together to inspire and maybe motivate someone else to believe that they can do it also. I really wanted to share the before and afters so that you guys can see we are just ordinary people doing amazing things and you can too. That is so important to me. I feel like that is my cross to share, that is the thing that I want to leave behind or the message that I want to contribute to the world is that we are all special, every one of us.
If you are a soul essence in a human body you have something special to do here, to offer, to become, whatever it is, it is inside of you and we want to meet that person. We want to experience that contribution. We want to be a part of connecting with you. And I thought sharing stories would be the best way to do that is to let you see where these folks came from and where they are now and what their plans are moving forward. We’re doing it together. It is so fun.
I invite you to come over to Self Healing Masters if you have not checked it out yet guys. It’s the real deal. It’s the richest community. The experiences and the relationships are so rich.
Alright, so on to today’s show. This is Christmas week and I thought continuing the theme of believing would be in the best interest. As children we were taught to believe, if we want a present you should believe in Santa Claus. If you want to go to heaven you should believe in Jesus. If you want money from the tooth fairy you should believe in the tooth fairy. It’s not anything new, we’ve always been taught what to believe or what we should believe to keep us safe. But somewhere in adulthood we lost maybe the understanding of it or the impact of believing.
And I want to turn that back on for you because it’s so important. We talk about thought work. We talk about mindset but beliefs are thoughts most often repeated. So that’s the power of your mind. But then we create this sensation or this emotion attached to it, that’s our deep rooted beliefs. And those suckers have strongholds, sometimes they’re really hard to break and they are super sneaky. You cannot see what those unconscious beliefs are because we believe they’re facts and we’ve believed them for so long that we’re just like, yeah, it’s just how it is.
So coaching has really called some of that out for us and shown me that and my clients that it’s actually us that is holding ourself back because of these beliefs. So what I’m going to talk about today is the power of beliefs. How to know what you believe now, so how to identify what your beliefs are. And then I’m going to talk about why we are afraid to really believe, to believe in ourself, to believe in our dreams. And the third thing is what is required to change our beliefs for good.
So that’s the three things I’m going to talk about on the show today, how to actually know what you are believing now. Why we’re afraid to believe differently. And what’s required to change those beliefs.
So let’s start with how to know what to believe. It’s super simple. You can tell what your beliefs are by the actions that you take. So if you are talking about building a business and you’re like, “Oh my God, I have this amazing service or toolset that everyone needs to know about. I have this fabulous product and the world needs it. I know so many people who need it.” So let’s just say that’s your thought and you’re like, “I am going to go into business and I’m going to share this. And I’m going to save the world”, whatever it is that you’re thinking.
And you are scared to death to tell people what you do. You’re not doing any sort of advertising. You’re not making offers. Then we know that those are just thoughts that you were saying out loud and your actual belief is that either maybe it’s not possible for you. You’re not good enough. You don’t know enough yet. One of those are for sure running the show because of the action or the inaction. See if that makes sense. So if you truly believed that you had a service or a product that the world needed you would be screaming it from the rooftops.
But there’s something that’s stopping you from doing that. And so I would just ask you to enquire why am I not telling the world about this? If I really believe in it why am I not telling anyone? And see if you can identify what the root belief is. I’m going to fail. People are going to make fun of me. I don’t know enough yet. I’m going to look stupid. What is the thought that’s running behind the scene that’s creating you not taking action? That’s how you can identify what the belief is.
You’ve got to break down the story, but you can always look at what am I doing now to get the results that I want, and if the results that you want is to help people, or to make money helping money, or to grow a business. If that’s the results that you want and you are sitting in front of your computer afraid to hit the record button or the post button then we know that you’re not coming from the place of I believe I can serve and help people if they knew about this. So you can tell if you really believe in the service, the product or yourself from the action that you’re taking.
So if you’re not taking the action you really need to question the beliefs, dial in. This is one formula that I use that’s super simple. What do I want? And answer the question. What am I doing to get it? Answer the question. Is it working? So that’s a very easy way to test and really identify the action that you’re taking. And then you can dial in, I’m not taking action because, that’s something that you can ask yourself. I’m not taking action because, I’m afraid to tell people because. And that’s going to identify your belief. So that’s number one, how to know what you are really believing.
The second thing is why are we afraid to believe? Alright guys, this one’s really good. It’s easier not to believe and then you don’t have to suffer the risk of humiliation or disappointment. Super simple, it’s easier just not to believe. It’s easier to just stay as you are then you don’t have to risk losing, or falling flat on your face, or failing, or people laughing at you. And it’s all boiled down to one thing; you don’t want to experience shame.
So we are afraid to believe in ourself, in our business, in our marriage, in our service, whatever it is because we have a belief that they will think… about us. And if they think that we will experience shame, that’s it. Once you expose the shame and you take yourself all the way through it, imagine that had happened. And deal with the emotions that come up, that way you get it out of the way. You come to a place of neutrality. And then you go off and you take the action from the actual belief.
So the second thing, why we’re afraid to believe is because we don’t want to experience shame. That’s why we’re afraid to fail, we’re afraid to get rejected; we’re afraid people talk about us because we don’t want to feel ashamed. Boof, super simple. Go out, practice feeling ashamed, practice being embarrassed. And this will be a breeze for you, you won’t have a problem putting yourself out there because it won’t matter what people think. It’s such freedom. I want you to experience that.
Okay, the third thing we’re going to talk about is what to do now to change your belief, or what is required for you to change your belief? And that is first you have to be aware of what it is. Do the little questionnaire I just told you about, I don’t want to do it because, or I’m afraid to do it because. And get to the awareness of what the belief is. So the very first thing that’s required is you have to be aware that you have limiting beliefs. You have to be aware that you have a belief system that is running unconsciously. It’s running behind the scenes.
You and I and every other human has been conditioned to believe a certain way. So we have to be aware that that is happening. And then once we’re aware we can start peeling back the layers and start asking the questions, is that true or is that something I was told? Can I prove this? What evidence do I have that it’s true? You have to start unpacking the story in order to reveal what’s the deeper levels of it. And then you have to start changing the behavior according to the new belief.
So it’s kind of tricky here. So you want to change the habit and behavior while you’re simultaneously learning how to believe differently. And so it’s kind of like that shadow dancing. It’s like a little bit of believing, a little bit of doubt, a little bit of forcing it and then a little bit of letting it go. And so it’s like you’re kind of constantly swaying in and out. So the first thing you’re going to do is you’re going to become aware that you have an unconscious belief system. You have to first become aware of that.
You have to start identifying it after once you’re aware, then you’ll start unraveling it, unpacking it. And then you will start taking new actions so that you can create new habits and new behaviors because behavior and belief are directly correlated. You will always behave in the way that you believe, like it or not, it’s just how it is. That’s the human condition. It’s just that we can’t see it if we surely can’t see our own stuff, but Lord have mercy, everybody else can see us.
It’s like we need those mirrors, that’s why we need each other, and that’s why this work is so important is there is a process, there’s steps. It’s not as simple as just changing the thought and running around with positive affirmations. It’ll never work because you don’t truly believe it. And the unconscious belief system that’s running is where we’re taking the action from. And it’s mostly because we are afraid to be humiliated. We’re afraid to feel shame. We’re afraid to feel rejection. And that has everything to do with the way we perceive ourself. It’s crazy.
Alright, that’s what I have for you this week. It’s super short, super simple. I’m in the middle of the Believing Better series where I have been interviewing clients since last week. And we’re going all the way to Christmas. You will have access to those replays. I’m going to give you the opportunity to go and watch them once we’re done. It’s been super fun. I wanted to inspire and motivate people especially at the end of this year because I know so many have had a very hard year.
I personally have not experienced my worst year. So I even had a few problems with that, feeling kind of guilty about saying that. But I’m being very honest. It has not been one of the worst years of my life. But I do want to recognize that it has been for many people. And I wanted to end the year with a shout out for all of the things that we have accomplished and have changed despite it being 2020. There’s still so much to celebrate.
And I wanted to end the year in that celebration, in that joy, in the ease and the flow. And I wanted to offer opportunity for other people to experience too through the example of witnessing others doing it. So it’s all about our beliefs. I’m going to just do a really quick repeat of everything that I said on the show today just for it to dial in because I really want you guys to get this. It’s all about believing better and the power of beliefs.
If you are not aware of the power that your belief system has, you will keep repeating the past. And it will keep you stuck and it’s so frustrating. So the very first thing is you have to be aware that you do have an unconscious belief system. And you have to begin to identify what those beliefs are. So in order to do that you have to get present and you have to start listening to the things you say and then what kind of feelings come up for you when you say those things. You have to tune in and feel it in your body.
The second thing I talked about is we’re afraid to believe differently. We’re afraid to believe in ourself or the thing that we want because we’re afraid to experience failure which will ultimately lead to feeling shame. So if you feel the shame in advance then you can move on.
And the third thing is what is required in order to change the belief? And that is, it goes back to you have to be aware, you have to unravel it, unpack it, you’ve got to tear the story down and you have to start with the new habits and behavior right now, but you have to do it from a conscious space.
You have to intentionally choose it, you’re basically saying, “I am simultaneously changing my beliefs while I am taking new action and changing my behaviors.” Because we want to change the neural pathway, we want to change the patterns that we have been repeating year after year. So that is the power of beliefs. That is how to change your beliefs, and that is how to believe better.
I hope you guys have a very Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and until next week, good riddance, go out there and practice believing better. And if you want to take this work deeper I invite you to come over to Self Healing Masters. We have an amazing community there. You guys want to be a part of this. If you want to experience transformation and change this is the container to do it. You can find the link in the show notes.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More than Mindset.
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