Ep #76: Religious Roadblocks

Welcome to More than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and Confidence Coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion, to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello, hello, and welcome back. Guys, I want you to know, in case you didn’t realize it it’s been four months that we have been locked down, four months. I was looking for something on my calendar and I noticed that the last time I went to Dallas was the 13^th of March.

Yeah, we are surviving, we’re doing it. But I have to tell you, I’m lonesome, I want to be at retreat, I want to be leading retreat, I want to be touching my people, I want to be serving them and loving on them. A little sad, and that’s all, I’m not going to stay there for long, I just want to express it. I wish I could huge you all. I wish I could be amongst more people. I just miss that, being in trainings and these live events and the hoorah of meeting a new friend and that kind of stuff. Alright, I’m going to quit complaining.

So let’s get started. First of all I want to acknowledge many of my new listeners that have been reaching out, it’s so good to hear success stories and that your belief in healing is stronger than ever before, that your business is growing, your clients are getting breakthroughs. That’s so exciting for me to hear.

And I love that you’re showing up in the More Than Mindset Facebook group, at the group meditations. I feel this community growing and it feels so good. I love the support, the conscious awareness, the spiritual growth, like the healing that’s taking place. As far as the transformation from the meditation in the morning, it’s unbelievable, the changes, the experiences that people are having. I’m mind blown.

Anyway, so I also want to point out that this show is specifically focused on helping the healing focused entrepreneurs. And that’s because I believe that is how I can truly make a more powerful impact. I know that helping the healers step into their gifts and grow their business is how I’m going to help them and us together reach more people.

But if you are here on a personal healing journey and not as a mind body practitioner, that is okay, you are welcome. I am sure that you will also get some valuable information. It’s for all of us but just know that the topic at hand is specifically going to be on helping the healers grow their business, helping them step into their power, their God given gifted power as well as their ability to make money, help more people create more impact in the world, because that is what we’re here for.

Alright, so let’s get started. Today I’m going to talk about something that may be preventing your clients from healing. We already know that the biggest problems are coming from social belief, cultural conditioning as well as generational patterning. And today I want to mention something else and also work around it, and that is religious roadblocks.

Here’s the thing, what we’ve been taught is the mindset that we are living today. And people are waking up to the realization that it’s no longer working. They are tired of settling, being sick, living in fear, and they have had it with this boring unfulfilled state of existence. People want more, they want answers, and they want answers that work. They are done with more medication and band-aid fixes.

People are catching on to these fads and they are seeing the same old promises everywhere. And they are tired of being sold to and not getting the promised results. They want to feel better and that’s where we come in. Guys, this is important, this is the time for us to be in authenticity, integrity, in our power, in clarity, in confidence, in courage, to step into the roles that we are called into. And now is the perfect time. I see this year and all these crazy events as an opportunity to bring up what needs healing.

All of this fear and the warnings, and the stories and just everything that’s going on in the media is bringing up everyone’s stuff, which is such a beautiful opportunity for us. Us the healers have been waiting for this chance, where the people have less resistance and they are more open, but maybe they are less trusting. Because there is so much hype about the quick fixes and just the old stories and the band-aid fixes of, you know, they’ve bought into so many things that haven’t been effective.

And so let’s discuss how you can help them, because I see this over and over. I even talked about it today on the More Than Mindset live show, we talked about religious roadblocks was such a bid deal in helping my guest heal their relationship. So religion often minimizes the human experience. It’s like everything is wrong, sex, money, jealousy, envy, desire, divorce, it’s all wrong, all the human experience is bad, like it’s been put in the bad box. And we have been shamed about our very existence, especially when it comes to relationships, money and healing.

It’s like there’s some glory in staying sick and suffering, taking it for the team sort of thing. It’s as though there’s this good student award that if you can carry that big old cross, get all the graces and go right to heaven. Seriously, I was one of those, I have to tell you. I could not suffer enough. I believed that my growth in lessons came through suffering and I was like, “Bring it on, I can handle it, give me more, I’m tough, I got this.” Oh my gosh, it’s crazy.

Purge me of my human desires, create a clean hardened me. I wanted to die to the other self, I wanted to kill the flesh, kill the humanness, like St. Paul, we talk about the other self, the flesh. And I was like I was trying to get rid of all of that, not realizing that it was actually a part of my humanity and that is what Christ taught us, Jesus came to teach us how to be better humans, not how to be better sufferers. So anyway, it was all about kill the flesh so that I could be more spiritual, more righteous, more pure, more noble and worthy.

There is this sort of it’s best to suffer to become a better Christian. And guys, this is showing up even today in our physical health, in our finances, in our relationships and commitments. Now, they aren’t aware that this unconscious story is running in their minds, I was not aware of it.

Now, if you’re doing this work, if you are a healer, a spiritual teacher, leader, mentor in healing and health then you are possibly aware. And we make the mistake of speaking to our people as if they should know this or they would know this, but they don’t. I didn’t know it. You likely didn’t know it whenever you were sick. It’s not in our awareness, it’s just we simply don’t see what’s always been.

We believe it’s real and true and our environment supports it. In other words, even the medical community confirms it with inherited illnesses. They start planting the seeds of illness and disease and discomfort and the aging body. They start planting that, I was told that by my medical doctor, was like, “That’s just what it’s like when you get old and it’s just normal.” And our little minds are just absorbing all of those stories, just plants these seeds about fear of being rich even, making a lot of money, getting divorced and maybe changing our minds.

It’s like if you are committed, you should stay committed and you should not leave, whatever it is. And so that has instilled a lot of shame and this, I’m doing it wrong, and I’m not going to earn my graces to get to heaven. And we are supposed to suffer and I need to keep suffering, and this is why your clients aren’t healing. This is why they’re not getting it, I’ll say getting the mindset. You can’t get them just to change their thinking because the unconscious thinking is what’s driving their life.

So how do we help clients when they are committed to believing this? And here’s my answer. With compassion, and understanding, empathy, patience, gentleness and providing a safe space, and at the same time, showing them another possibility, punching a hole in their theory to create some doubt. Create a spot for new potential. We want to pop their theory of belief. We want to bring in some different evidence. We want to get them to see something differently.

And the way we’re going to do that is by holding a safe space and really having empathy and compassion and by telling them that they’re doing it wrong or that they’re not getting this, or they just need to change their thoughts. Which that’s what was happening in my community, it was just, “Change your thoughts, change your thoughts, change your thoughts. Everything was about changing your thoughts; it’s all your thoughts.”

And there was no respect for the traumatic unconscious story, the wounds that were in the nervous system, that were beyond being able to change because when we feel it we start telling ourself a story about it. And we’re like, “No, I feel it, it’s true, it’s real, I trust what I feel.” And that’s where the hang-up is, is they are letting the emotions guide their life. They don’t realize that it’s just sensations in the body that are brought on by the thoughts.

So that’s the first thing is to really teach them, educate them, expose them, be patient and kind. Don’t have an agenda, don’t try to rush or force them. But just could you spend some time and be with them with compassion? Because that is how we calm the nervous system and tap into the parasympathetic nervous system. It’s not by being judgy and pushy, and wanting them to get results because that makes the practitioner feel good, because they feel like they can help them. That’s your job, to build that confidence within yourself.

So let’s go through a few steps. So I’m going to help you take the client through this process. So step one is to notice it, to bring it to their awareness. So that they can see that it’s their perception. We want to bring them into presence. And you can do this by tapping, like EFT tapping and just kind of voicing out loud what they are feeling, what they are thinking, what they are believing about this pain, whatever sort of pain, mental, emotional, physical pain that they’re having in their body.

You want to maybe help them learn some sort of meditations; you are bringing them to presence and giving them a space where they can trust you. And this might take some time. So some people have really been through a lot of traumatic events. And it’s going to take a little bit of nourishing and really being there with them.

And once they settle in and realize that they can trust you, that you don’t have an agenda and you’re not trying to force anything. Then you can go to step two, which is to face it and start unraveling the stories, separating fact from fiction.

Let’s really have a conversation about this, is that true? What did the doctor tell you? What did your grandmother tell you? What did you understand? Maybe it’s at a young age and you saw a family member suffering of something and then it planted this perception, this understanding in your mind. So, we want to help them unravel those stories, to really sit with them and start asking questions, enquiring, “And so you feel that because, and you think that because?”

And help them unravel their own story, start teaching them the process. Listen, they’re still going to need you, even though you’re teaching them how to help themselves. I promise you, we always need a coach, we always need a helper. There’s new stuff coming up all of the time.

But you have to help them get that first breakthrough and safety and understanding. And actually teaching their analytical mind, showing them why it works that way, why our brain functions that way. And helping them to unravel the story and separate fact from actual conditioning, the, whatever it is, whether it’s conditioning from religion, from generational patterns, from society itself. Just help them to see it, help them to unpack that story.

And then step three is to change habits and behavior. So whatever they are typically doing, we want to change it. We want to change the trajectory and take them away from the old habits and behavior. The mind learns through repetition. So getting them to like stop, change, words like that to get them to stop and recognize when the mind hears it, this is when we change.

And then you give them the new habits and new patterns. And this is how we change the neural pathway. We help them walk through the shame and guilt, we teach them how to feel, how to be uncomfortable and still trust, and how to process and integrate these emotions that are coming up. Because shame and guilt, that is two tough ones.

Once they start feeling better, once their body starts healing, and they start healing the shame about the suffering was the teacher, the suffering was the way. I’m doing that to earn my way to heaven. I’m doing that to be closer to God; this is some really tough stuff. So you want to be really gentle and compassion. So that’s step three.

Step four, you want to show them new possibilities. Teach them how to envision, how to see other potentials, to see health, to see wellness in their future, to see their bodies in this perfect state of being. And show them how to experience it for themselves. In other words, stay with them in the process long enough that they can feel the experience. So you’re showing them a new vision of what could be in their life.

And step five, helping them commit to this something new and different. Helping them commit to this vision. And maybe be open and willing to be surprised, that’s my favorite one, we’re doing this in the meditation, the morning meditation is, are you willing to consider that the surprise of what could come could be so much better than what your mind can imagine? The willingness to be surprised, that you surrendering could open yourself up to a potential that you have never dreamed of.

Guys, this is real, this is the law of attraction in action. So I’m going to repeat those steps, step one was to notice, to become aware, to see the perception that was driving the story, to get present, maybe to tap, maybe to meditate, maybe it’s just using a mantra and counting the breath.

Or what I like to use to help my clients get grounded, my new clients is I am here now. So it’s one inhale per word. And so you’re teaching them how to stay focused and grounded between the breath and the mantra. And some people, this is going to be kind of a big deal. Some people have never ever done this. So something that simple within itself will give them a huge breakthrough where they can begin to feel safe. So, step one was to notice, become aware.

Step two was to face it, to unpack, to unravel the stories and to be willing to separate facts from social conditioning, generational patterning and religious upbringing. Just get them to see what it is that they are thinking, that they are believing.

And then step three was to change the habit and behavior, change the thought process. Change the repetition of old habits and behavior that have been driving the neural pathways. We want to change that and help them walk through shame and guilt. Teach them how to feel their feelings, teach them about feeling uncomfortable and how to process their emotions.

And step four, show them new possibilities and potentialities. Help them step into the vision, you want to describe it, you want to see where they feel it in their body. You want to share what it looks like, describe their life so that they can experience it for themselves and create that imprint.

And then the last step was to commit to that new and different vision and be open to the willingness to be surprised of what could come of this that is so much greater than the mind could even imagine, showing them the possibility of living their legacy as a human.

We’re so driven by this spiritual aspect, and this heavenly vision, but it’s here, it’s here now. How you could be the human experiencing heaven right here, right now? As a whole person, having a full embodied experience of ease and effortlessness, maybe even painlessly, what? Without judging, comparing, or trying to be perfect, just showing them what is possible. And every single one of us have a legacy to live, can you help them believe in it? Can you help them envision it? Can you help them see the possibility of it?

That would be the first step is just to help them see that there is another way in a very trusting, loving, compassionate setting.

Alright, that is what I have for you this week. And I welcome you to the More Than Mindset group, we have these discussions. We have group calls. We have group coaching. And we have clients who are coming into the meditation that we’ve been doing in the mornings. It’s really been an exciting time for us. So those are the good experiences that have come from this 2020 eventful, very, very eventful year. We have had great opportunity to start looking at some of this stuff that is coming up for healing.

So I think it’s a great time for the healers to really step into belief, get really clear about who it is that you want to help. And then courageously start taking steps, one little step at a time, taking one client through this process at a time until you come into that state of confidence. That’s it, it’s that simple. Alright, I wish you well.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More than Mindset.