Ep #205: Residual Influence

 

Featured on the Show:

• Join me in the More Than Mindset Facebook group!
• Check out my new YouTube channel!
• Follow me on Instagram!
• Check out Kim’s Upcoming Events Page
• The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
• Ep 48, Transition of Transformation

 

Full Episode Transcript:

#205: Residual Influence

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey there and welcome back to the show. I am just returning from New Orleans, where we held Belief Bootcamp this weekend, guys. So fun. You definitely want to check this out. If you have been listening to the podcast or have been in any of my communities, you already have an idea of this work. But what we do at the live events is dial it in and break down the layers, all the way down to the foundational stuff, which is kind of what I’m going to talk about today.

But first I want to tell you that you have opportunities coming if you missed this one. So, I am doing a Belief Bootcamp Online. And then Belief Bootcamp—Belief and Business Bootcamp that is for business owners or anyone who wants to improve the way that they make money, or how much money they make. It’s all about the money, mindset, and beliefs behind it. That is going to be in April, in Austin, Texas, and that one is going to be a three-day event, so you want to check it out.

We’ve got some really fun stuff that is following Belief Bootcamp because it’s like part of taking it down deeper this year. We hear so much lip service in people who are talking about personal transformation, growing their business, doing coaching, helping other people heal, self-healing themselves. But it is a lot of lip service out there!

This is the how. This is the deep inner work, as well as the playful outer work. It’s a great place to meet other people who are working in this more conscious environment. And mindfulness. It’s really about mindfulness and practicing being present and understanding why we do the things we do, why relationships are so hard. And if we can understand the habits and behaviors are not the same as the people, can you imagine how much better we would get along in the world? So, that is my plug-in for Belief Bootcamp. If you did not attend, I want to invite you to do at least the online one. And then if you decide you want to do the three-day Business… Belief Business Bootcamp, then I want to invite you there, too.

All right, let’s get on with today’s episode. I am talking about something that came up in our E-School call. So, E-School is our business container for healing-focused entrepreneurs. How to do business in a way that is individualized for you. Doing business in your specific way. And we were talking today about signing clients, making more money, really putting yourself out into the world, and what is so scary about that. And as I was talking—someone was getting coaching on getting clients. Actually, we had, like, quite a few celebrations of clients this weekend who got new clients—and one of the members was saying, was talking about one of the hidden fears, which is getting too many clients and then not having the time, or something’s going to come up, or, you know, I won’t be able to service them.

And it was really interesting because it wasn’t true. And the way that it came out is I recognize that it was a habit. It was just old behavior that was showing up. And I asked her a few questions, and we really dialed into the behind the mind version of what was going on. And it related to a big part of my story, which is… struggling. Like, growing up, just struggling and fighting and surviving, and then all of a sudden you find yourself in a position where you really aren’t struggling anymore, but there’s a part of you that stays in that fight. And what happens is we subconsciously create incidences or circumstances that keep us in the fight because it’s more comfortable. And it sounds made up; some people call it self-sabotage. This is a little bit different. I am calling it residual influence because that is… that’s exactly what I heard as I was coaching her.

And I was like, “this is residual influence,” meaning it’s like an energetic residue of the old ways, the old habits, the old survivor mechanism that’s in the nervous system, in the cellular system. It’s in the tissues of the body. So, this old residue of struggle, of having to work hard, and just really survive… in the most beautiful way. But when we had a childhood where you had to figure out how to live and get by, you’ve created these habits in your systems. And influence, meaning that the new mindset, or the actions, the behaviors, like the thought process, is being influenced by this energetic residue. So, it’s, you can feel it in the system of the body and then the story comes up in the mind, and your habits and behaviors are influenced by this.

Does that make sense? I feel like I went the long way around. Residual influence is when you have an energetic residue in the system. The way that you think, the way that you feel, the way that you move through the world. It’s old habit behavior that’s been locked in. And your decisions, habits, and behaviors are influenced by this old way. This old identity, you could say.

And the symptoms show up as anxiety, freezing up, feeling stuck, confused… and it doesn’t make sense because logically everything is going well. You just signed up new clients. In this particular case, she was only, like, four clients from her goal of being completely booked out. And it was interesting to watch it play out. And I recognized the habit and behavior from my own life and from so many other clients.

And I referred to the book The Big Leap because he really, I think he finds a very simple way of representing what we do to ourselves. Like with weight loss, with money, in love relationships, those sorts of things, is when we actually don’t believe that it’s possible for us or our past experiences haven’t proved that it’s possible that we will sabotage. Like so, if you don’t think you’re worthy of having more than $5,000 in savings, and let’s say you have $8,000, then you kind of subconsciously create this thing that’s going to cost $3000 or $4,000, so that you have to put yourself back in the struggle cycle. So, I’ll just reference that here.

So, residual influence is, it shows up like dissonance. Dissonance, meaning that the mind has conflicting beliefs. So, there’s this reality, “this is what’s really going on,” but then the mental, or emotional, reality is that there’s way more going on beneath the surface in the subconscious and unconscious levels. So, I saw it… I would say, if you refer back to episode 48, it was called the Transition of Transformation. So, quite a few episodes ago where I had taken on this new identity, this new body of beliefs, but I wasn’t fully embodied in the new belief. So, it was almost like I was on this seesaw, and when I would lean into the past, I was like the old self. When I would lean to the right, to the future, I was not quite the new self. So, I was no longer who I used to, and I was not yet who I wanted to be. Can you see that? So, it’s almost like this seesaw of belief. I called it the Transition of Transformation because it’s the bridge into becoming, but you’re not quite across the bridge yet.

In human design, we would talk about this on a… the conditioning, the way that the world taught you to be. And so, your habits and behaviors and beliefs, in the way that you see the world, the perception that you have has been indoctrinated from your surroundings. And then there’s the higher self, or the soul self, that some people say, like, “it’s the potential of who I am.”

After living your design, following your strategy and authority for, let’s say, four years, then you are more of the new and the potential than the old, and it gets very uncomfortable. Because you’re no longer relating to people, and to conversations, and community the way that you used to because you’re more of the new version of yourself than you are the old, and it gets very uncomfortable.

So, residual influence is the thing that you do that doesn’t align with the new perception. It’s the influence of habit and behavior from disbelief. So, you’re basically disassociated with the new self or the new identity that you are becoming. And the mind has this conflict. It gets confused. And you believe there’s more potential or there’s better opportunity, but the past evidence is influencing your decisions to move forward. Make sense?

So, I feel like there’s a lot of big words in this one. Belief Bootcamp is very simple, by the way, but we talked about this. Because we were talking about when you change, when you begin to reach more of your potential, more of your possibility, and you’re no longer being influenced by the past, or by the old community or the old ways, and you start to action toward what you want, you’ve got to lose some things. A lot of that is in the form of relationship, which is very scary and painful. So, you’re not only grieving like normalcy… or familiarity, you’re actually grieving, like, the physical material world of what was.

And so, there’s still a little bit of residue from the old identity, the old habits, the old behavior, the old culture. And when you are in a position that feels scary, so doubt and fear and impostor syndrome, like, start to bubble up, the mind is being influenced by this old residue. And we just pause. We stop, we freeze, we freak out. And if she hadn’t gotten coaching today, and I hadn’t seen this experience for myself, like, it could have very easily gone under the radar.

And that’s what I love about the Integrative Mind-Body Coaching is we go beyond the mind; we go beyond the logic. And there’s this dormant past that you think you buried, that you think you have dismissed and that it can’t affect you anymore, but that’s not true because whenever you go into this heightened state of risk, it bubbles up. Feelings buried alive never die.

What we do not express is repressed or suppressed. And it’s still there. It’s still active, it’s still alive. It’s—nevermind. I was going to use an analogy, but I just stopped myself. It’s like when our belief system is low. When we are feeling impostor syndrome, or our relationships are flaky, they’re like unbalanced. The little scary, risky. Our body is showing physical signs and symptoms. And I like to think of it as an emotional immune system. Like our emotions are unstable and it’s very easy to fall prey to this residual influence and slip back in. Some people would call it backsliding or falling off the wagon; slipping back into the old habits and behavior of disbelief and what used to be familiar.

So, it is a very vulnerable place. So, when you notice anxiety, freezing up, feeling stuck, confused. “I don’t know what to do next. I’m not sure if I can pull this off.” Those are just some of the common things that come up. And you often are threatened by being alone, being by yourself, and it feels like if you take this risk of meeting your potential, of being more than you have been, making more money, doing, like, having a job that you love, hanging around with different people, having a more mindful or higher consciousness… I don’t mean to say that in a woo way, but it is being more aware, and so you’re not being influenced by the subconscious or the unconscious. You’re actually making very solid, clear decisions from a place of belief. And that is not how most of the world functions. Let’s just face it. We weren’t taught this. We weren’t taught to be emotionally stable.

We weren’t taught to be mentally stable. And our mind and our emotions have an influence over us because we haven’t stabilized our nervous system. We haven’t integrated past experiences that are still causing suffering or unresolved trauma, that haven’t been integrated and understood, and then the new version of ourself has not been fully embodied.

So, that’s a lot of big words. I hope I didn’t lose you, but I want to get to the point here. Which is if you want to create change in your life, if you want to up-level, or you want to make more money, you want more meaningful relationships, you want richer, a richer style of living, meaning more transparent and more intimate, your relationships, the food that you eat, the way that you even relate with yourself, if you want to personally grow… if you want to experience more richness in the world, and you are taking steps toward it, and you suddenly get stuck, it will show up in the body like planter fasciitis, back pain, shoulder pressure, even pressure headaches, knee and hip issues, those are signs in the physical body. And you think about like plantar fasciitis, not being able to, like, even in the flexibility of the ankles, you’ll start to see it. And, what’s happening is this influence, this residual influence, is looking for an opportunity to stop you from taking the risk.

And so, it may show up in the mind, it may show up as self-doubt. You might hear this impostor syndrome stuff come up, or you may feel it coming up in the body. Very common. We see this all the time. It’s the cycle of transformation. You make a decision, you want something new, you decide what it’s going to be; you buy into the belief of it, you start to take action toward it. First thing that happens is “You can’t do that. Who do you think you are? You’re going to make a fool of yourself, you—.”

Whatever. Whatever the story is, you already know the disbelief, and then it shows up in the physical body. It physically manifests as illness, disease, pain, discomfort, and then it will show up in your relationships. So, people that you used to get along with, that you used to have commonality with, you no longer do because something has shifted and changed in you. I like to think of it as the frequency. So, what was familiar and common no longer is, and that creates discomfort actually in the relationship and distrust.

And then the next thing is financial changes. So, whether you have chosen to invest in yourself, or your business, and people are telling you, “You’ve got to be careful, they’re going to take advantage of you.” You know all of this stuff, or you start making more money than you ever made before. And that right there creates a dissonance in your relationships, in your lifestyle, the people you used to hang around with, the agreements you used to have are changing. So, those four things show up when you make the decision to change your life.

And then you finally reach the point where everything feels good. You got out of it, you’re like, “I’ve done it. This is it. I’m set forever.” Just so you know, that’s a moment of soul alignment, and then it starts all over again until you leave the physical world.

We don’t go backward, boom. We don’t go back into the old habits and behavior. We don’t go back to limiting ourself. We don’t go back into disbelief. It doesn’t feel good, not once you’ve had this experience of having more, being more of yourself, and seeing what’s possible. You know, maybe you’ve always wanted to travel, maybe you want better for your kids. You want to break generational cycles and patterns. You want to be the person who stops what was and creates something new. This stuff is going to come up and, honestly, what else are we here for except for to grow, and experience, and transform ourselves? This is not about anybody else. It’s not about saving the world. It’s about what do you want to taste and smell and feel? What do you want to experience in your time here on planet earth? And not everyone wants to experience all of that. Not everyone believes that they can experience all of that.

And if you dare to believe or take steps toward it, I believe this residual influence will at some point, some moment in time, show up in your path to transformation. So, I wanted to document the day that the understanding came through, the day that I heard it. And, like what kind of perception I had about it and how does it show up in my clients or my life, or even my family’s life, whenever we choose to break these old patterns and cycles of the culture, or the community, or the family itself. So, uncomfortable.

Anyway, if you love this work, if this makes sense to you, share it with a friend. Rate and review the podcast. Let other people know about it. Attend one of the Belief Bootcamps. If you can’t make the one in person, then I invite you to do the one that’s going to be online. That’s going to be coming up in the next few weeks. Come into the More Than Mindset Facebook group and share your takeaways from the podcast. That’s it. That’s what I got for you this week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.