Ep #229: Responding or Resistance

 

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Ep #229: Responding or Resistance

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey there, and welcome back to the show. So, I did an interview this morning and that is live on YouTube. If you guys want to go and catch it, I did it with my mentor, Mary Ann Winiger from Human Design. We talked all things Human Design and six two and her experience, and I had a little takeaway from our call today that I wanted to break down and share on the podcast, so that’s what I am doing right now.

I titled this, Responding or Resistance, and I want to speak to it not just in relation to Human Design and people, but also to our health. So, as we were talking about 6/2s coming off the roof, being generators and waiting to respond, which is the thing I resist more than anything else. I am used to being a generator, power pusher, a going-getter, and I like the way that feels, but something started happening.

And that action is beginning to change in me because I’m seeing a different result than what I want. So, let me just kind of set the foundation for this. If you know anything about Human Design and you know anything about generators, then you understand what I mean by waiting to respond. Now, if it’s a projector, they’re waiting for an invitation, but the truth is we’re all waiting.

We’re waiting on signs from the body, from outside, but not from the mind. So the mind has lots of ideas. It’s been conditioned to believe a certain way, and we have a lot of information in our mind, in our memory that has come from other people’s opinions. What worked for them, what didn’t work for them, what they think we should do.

And what I’m noticing is the patterns as I’m deconditioning, are not reacting in the same way. And what is coming up is this resistance in others. So, we already know, according to mind, body wellness, that when you have resistance within yourself, that’s where physical conditions show up. So, you’re literally resisting wellness.

There is something in you that is not in alignment, that is not connected on all levels. So, let’s say that you are in a job or a relationship that’s killing you, right? You’ve ever said that? Like, oh my God, this is killing me, or this kid is killing me, or this job is killing me. We got to take some of that stuff literally, because it’s tricky, like thoughts and words or just sentences.

But if we believe them and we continue to reinforce them and we continue to speak them, we make them things. And, when we have the understanding of wellness, true wellness, what it is like to live well and die well, it’s coming from being in alignment, like who I am and what I do, all the way through. But most of us don’t live that way.

We’ve been conditioned to believe in certain systems or ways, or, folks tales. Why wise tales? There are things that we were told that if we were to question, we would probably find were not true. But we don’t really question it because we’ve always heard it. And, so, that’s what we’ll call truth lives inside of the mind and so do the memories.

And I think we do this as a defensive mechanism, like to protect ourselves. So, I remember you hurt me so that I can make sure I never get hurt by you again. And when we hear stories, about truth or not truth, about advice and experience from other people, we do that with those memories.

We keep them a mind, keeps them like stored, and then when we feel like we’re in danger, it starts giving us those stories to consider. And then often we will feel sensation in the body and then we take that as truth. So, what I want to talk about today is if you are waiting to respond, or you’re waiting on the invitation or you’re waiting to initiate, waiting for hearing the right thing, knowing when it’s the right time, or you’re waiting on the moon cycle.

Regardless if you are a Projector, a Manifestor, a Generator, or a Reflector, if you are waiting on strategy and authority, like really understanding how you make decisions, how to move through the world, would you face so much resistance? Because that’s what I’m starting to notice is when I go into old habit and behavior of initiating, of pushing, of making it happen, that there’s this certain feel, this bounce back.

And it is different than the feeling when I’m just trying to push myself through something or push like discipline myself or build a new muscle that feels different than this. This feeling is something that is coming from the other. It’s almost like this rubbery pushback.

And I was talking to Mary Ann about it today and I got the realization that when we are impatiently waiting, we’re still wanting things to be different, and we have an attachment to a certain condition. So, in the conversation we were talking about like it’s so hard to wait because your mind starts telling you stories, I’m going to die, they’re never going to come find me, I’m going to be here all alone, no one’s ever going to want to hear from me again, I’m going to die alone.

Like there’s just so much story and that’s coming from all that past baggage and those warnings and all of the things that you were told that you held onto to keep you safe and it does not feel like waiting is safe. We live in a world of urgency. We can order something on Amazon and have it here within 24 hours. I ordered a laptop once and got it within 24 hours, like before 24 hours was even up, it was on my desk and out the box. I couldn’t believe it.

And so, we’ve entered this instant gratification. And so, we’ve like atrophied the weighting muscle. If you think about it, when you were a kid, you got certain things at certain holidays or for birthdays, but you had to wait. Now, everything’s in season all of the time. You can go get chocolate covered cherries right now.

You can get any kind of fruit and vegetable you want coming from hundreds of miles away. And so, we have gotten used to getting what we want when we want it, no matter what. If there’s a will, there’s a way, right? And, I think that atrophied muscle of waiting is where that resistance is coming from in my experience anyway.

So I’m Emotional Authority for those who are like wanting to know the design, Mary Ann was talking about is she is Sacral Authority. And so hers is in the moment and mine is over time. Here’s what I noticed that was true for both of us and many of my clients that I’m speaking to about this.

The attachment to even the waiting, like I am waiting for what? It’s still control and manipulation. I’m willing to wait to get this, so, there’s still an attachment. The very act of waiting with the assumption of something on the other side is still attachment and still creates suffering, still creates judgment and comparison.

It hasn’t happened yet. It won’t ever happen. When’s this going to happen, right?  So, the mind is still playing games. So, the reason I wanted to talk about it today is we just did a really big event. We had over 300 people attend Wellness Week, and we talked about wellness in all areas, in your relationship, in your money, in your mindset, in your body.

And, my agenda is to die well. I don’t just want to live well, I want to die well. And, if we can recognize that the reason that we are not well, the reason that we have illness, sickness, disease, broken relationships, scarcity mindset, is because of this, wanting to force from the mind, thinking we know better, not wanting to wait, afraid to be bored.

Can you relate to this or am I talking German or another language? I don’t always talk about Human Design, and I’ve actually had a love hate relationship with it recently because I’m finding so many clients that are locked in a box by it, like this labeling system that I can’t do this, I can’t do that, like these rules and it actually should be bringing us liberation, not indoctrination.

And Mary Ann was saying this at the end of our call today, she said, I thought the same thing that like I was going to get this into the hands of more people because I felt so liberated and like I wanted everyone to experience it.

And, now recognizing that not everyone is going to be in the experiment, is going to understand it and is going to do the waiting, it’s hard. It’s very hard. And what she said is that, she doesn’t want people hurt or hurting themselves and judging themselves by Human Design like I felt I can’t do it right and then it actually becomes more of their suffering.

So, you can go and listen to that whole interview. It’s over an hour long and it’s on my YouTube channel. Just look up Human Design and Mary Ann Winiger and you will find it. So, the point that I wanted to take away from that entire conversation was my awareness that even though I was waiting, I was still attached, manipulating and controlling like what I was waiting on, what I was expecting.

And that’s actually not being in the allowing or in the flowing and like letting life bring the magic to us at the right time with the right people. And, I have seen this in myself, especially the last three years. I’ve phased in and out of it. And I’m assuming what’s happening is that’s part of the coming off the roof phase.

That’s when I was on the roof and I was a different, basically different identity. I was behaving differently. I was researching things, I was trying to figure out things, and I also had a different view from being on the roof. And now it’s like being eye level with the people and being here and my mind is having a hard time catching up and understanding.

And, so when I can get like little nuggets like I did today, it settles my nervous system down. I start to feel ease and anticipation for what’s next rather than pressure and control to force what’s next? So, as we were talking about this all week long with Wellness Week, and we’re introducing these concepts to lots of our clients or potential clients that maybe were listening to us for the first time, we talked about whole body wellness through an Ayurveda practice.

And you can look at an Ayurveda practice, kind of the same that you can Human Design. It’s just a system of inquiry. And if that system locks you up and labels you and limits you, then it asks you to question it. Is it the way that you’re looking at it? Is it a habit of need, needing to be locked in or locked down by rules?

Because if it is not bringing you liberation, freedom, joy, and ease, maybe looking at it from a different perspective or maybe not following it at all. I noticed that I was frustrated and I was feeling pressured, like I was almost wanting to force my clients, like, you’ve got to get this, go get this right, go do this.

And I started recognizing the way that felt in my body and I was like, that is resistance. There is resistance here. And it’s, it goes back to this agenda, even though it’s a well-meaning agenda. Even though we want everyone to be well, we want everyone to be wealthy. We want everyone to be healthy.

We want everyone to be liberated and free and creative being themselves, or I want that. I shouldn’t put words in your mouth, and there’s this part of me that believes in it so deeply,  I think I know better than someone else and I’m surrendering to that. So here, give me an amen. It’s like that is what I’m feeling right now.

There are some things that I had on the agenda that I was going to go and like make happen, and I have decided I’m not doing that. Yet, I will continue to live my life and I will continue to be well, and I will serve to the fullest capacity that I can because it brings me joy and satisfaction. It feels really good to have powerful tools and understanding that helps people shift their mindset and experience life as an empowered being rather than from a victim mindset or a scarcity mindset.

And I don’t want to like, I’m going to keep responding to that every time I have the opportunity, but I’m also recognizing that I’m trying to wheel some things on my timing. And if I have done that to you, I apologize. I did catch on to it. My coaching was completely different today.

I recognized it and I want to serve. I’m here. I don’t plan on ever not serving, but there are some things that I wrote on a list that I will no longer be doing, and I wanted to offer you the opportunity to, if you’re a generator, are you waiting or are you pushing and pressuring and forcing, and do you have an attachment?

Because when the mind is so connected and presses forward and tries to control and manipulate, it’s actually missing or making you miss the opportunity of what else is open because it’s so focused and driven, and this is for me, you might not have an act of mind like I do. I have a very active mind and it is resistant, and I go through phases of afraid I’m going to be bored, afraid I’m going to die of boredom, and I don’t like being told things that I should or shouldn’t do.

And I’m now recognizing just how much I have trust in myself, in my body. And, if I can tell the difference between what my mind is saying and what my mind is thinking about trusting compared to the trust that I feel inside my being, I think that’s the ticket.

I think that is what I’m going to be striving for more of. So, I’m curious to know what has been your experience with waiting? Is it hard? Are you doing it? How long are you in your experiment? Have you never heard of Human Design? Maybe you think it is anti-religious or anti-Christian or all I’ve heard all of those things we were talking about that today too, because we did have concern.

It’s kind of the same thing that we’ve heard about concern of like energy work or healing work. Like where, who’s the healer? Where’s that coming from? Well, guys, I’ve got, like, I believe that I tap into the Holy Spirit because that is from my younger years on, that’s just what I’ve always tapped into.

So, maybe, someone who’s actually embodied and integrated like that, understanding doesn’t speak of it anymore because it’s become them. And so, I just want to say maybe for you, if you happen to be one of those who are judging that or making it bad or like in these conversations that maybe start to look at where we’ve got these indoctrinated fears about what that means and is it true?

And are you willing to question? I did a lot of questioning and you have to come to your own truth. You have to come to your own conclusion and understanding, and it is going to change, your perception is going to change what you believed when you were in second grade or the way that you saw that belief.

It’s different when you’re 20 and when you’re 40 and when you’re 60. It doesn’t make that truth that lies within you, not true or not real, but we see it differently. We understand it differently and it’s a bit traumatizing where there’s so much judgment and finger pointing, so I’m just going to like drop my own, because that’s the mirror for me.

It’s like, where am I doing that? And I’m willing to look at my own mess and can I be liberated from it? Because once I’m liberated from it, then I’m no longer held hostage by it. That’s what I want to talk to you about this week. That’s it. I just wanted to kind of go in a little bit deeper of what that understanding was and also make apologies if you’ve ever felt forced or like me thinking I knew better or I knew the way, which I do have a deep understanding for business and money and how to serve as your authentic self.

And also, recognize that I will never be a hundred percent, I will never get there. I will never not judge myself, not compare myself, and not belittle myself. It’s just what the mind does. But I’m willing to make friends with it. I’m willing to drop the agenda. I’m willing to cancel out some things that aren’t working that I see myself forcing or coercing, like, I’m not going to do that anymore.

Because the resistance that I get comes from people that I love and I don’t want that resistance between us because it’s bouncy. I also want to be open to what else I haven’t experienced yet. And so if I’m so focused on repeating the past and the patterns, then I actually won’t get to experience the other potentials.

So, I don’t even know what this thing is going to be called, this podcast. I don’t know, I’m going to go back and listen to it and make a decision. I am thinking just the difference between responding and resistance so that we have a better understanding of letting go. Letting go and allowing spirit to move through us, allowing life to move through us, and not being so afraid of everything.

Afraid of missing out and afraid of what they’re going to think, this is my stuff. I’ve got all of that within my body. I see it in my clients. I’m just super transparent about it and don’t mind putting it out on the internet. So, if you get a chance to listen to the entire interview let me know what you think.

Mary Ann has some events coming up. I can send you an invite to where you’ll find it in the podcast. I’ve been working with her for a few years and it’s really helped me to understand just by having someone else witness my experience, who is kind of been through the experiment, and I hope to do that for someone else.

I hope to do that for you without having an agenda, without telling you what to do. You know, anyone who’s been through coach training with me can tell you that we don’t tell our clients what to do. We don’t force them into submission. We don’t give them advice. We actually just show them what they’re thinking and believing so that they can choose differently if the way they’re living is not working for them now, so that we can all have the opportunity to die well and live well.

And I’m talking about on all levels, the way that we think, the way that we feel, the way that we physically move through the world, and our spiritual connection. I don’t even know what it would feel like to not be spiritually connected, so to be accused of being un-Christian or ungodlike, or that’s just kind of crappy.

You don’t know me. I promise you, you don’t know me because anyone who knows me knows that’s what drives me. And so, if you’re judging me and putting this work down because of that, chances are you’re doing it somewhere else too. And that means it’s being done back to you. So just notice it. I think that the only reason we suffer is judgment and comparison, and that is judgment and comparison.

When we think we know someone else’s path or we think we know what’s right for them or what they should do or shouldn’t do, or should think or shouldn’t think, and it’s not true, we all get to have our own journey in our own way, in our own timing, and that is something that I’m proud of. I’m proud that I got to experience all of that crap and even the deep dives into spirituality for 20-something years and the 20-something years of illness and disease and sickness and surgeries, like, I don’t regret any of that.

It’s the journey that got me where I’m at today, and I can now have the experience, the ease, the peace, the letting go because I’m willing to look at all that. In the past I used to hide, I was in so much shame that I was imprisoned by my past, by my experience, by what people knew about me or by my diagnosis.

And I am now free, and I just want to offer that to other humans that a lot of the stuff that you’ve been told and you’ve been told to believe is actually someone else’s beliefs, and it’s just sweet to be free of it, and to not be bound and afraid and scared. And that’s the beauty of being vulnerable and being transparent is once you get all that stuff off of you and you’re there raw, there’s really nowhere to hide.

You’ve been exposed and everybody sees it, and there is such freedom in that. All right, I think I was going to end this 10 minutes ago and I didn’t, so have a great week. If you enjoyed the podcast, please leave a rating and review. If you know someone else who would enjoy it, send them the link and you’ll find an attachment.

At the end of this week, I’m doing VIP day where we are talking about beliefs and uncovering some of these beliefs, and I would love to invite you to be there. Have a great week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.