Ep #51: The Results You Are Creating

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello, hello, I am back, but my heart is still with those babies. I have to tell you, I went cuddle up with Ms. Blakely, she’s our brand new, amazing granddaughter and it just wasn’t enough. I came home, packed a bag, drove to Mississippi and had to go love on those other babies.

Guys, my heart is wide open. It’s like, better than a bundle of puppies. Have you’ve been in this new stockpile of puppies when they’re like six weeks old and they’re just jumping around and licking and loving and hopping and squealing and doing all of that fun stuff and your heart is just happy? Like, I’m thinking about when my dog had the last litter there were 9 puppies and I was so happy in the mix of those puppies it makes me laugh. They were jumping everywhere. They were wild. They were in my hair. They were up my shirt, and just gave me the giggles.

That same exact feeling is what I have with these little babies, even though they’re not jumping on me. I’m so in love. This is very interesting because we think we want to be loved, right? We think that’s the most important thing, but it’s our own love that we’re feeling. When I talk about puppies and babies, that’s kind of the example of that. Like, those puppies are not telling me they love me. They’re just doing what puppies do, right?

They climb up your shirt, they go behind your hair, they lick you in the face. They do all this crazy stuff, right? They don’t have the mentality we have. They don’t consider that love. It’s just who they are. It’s what they do. Same thing with these little babies. They’re just laying there looking delicious, right? That’s their only job, is just to lay there so we can love, and what we feel, what I’m feeling in my own heart, that expansion, that explosion in the center of my heart, is my love. I am feeling my own love. Is that crazy?

You know what they say when you’re feeling a little down or a little depressed? You should go hang out with kids under 6 or adults over 60. Like, they just have a different outlook. They’re not worried about all this crazy stuff that we are. Anyway, just wanted you to know I’m still walking on the clouds thinking about these scrumptious little babies.

All right, here’s what we’re going to talk about today. Results. Not just any results, but the results that you created. This is going to be a good one. You can go back to the last few episodes where I talk about creating on purpose, and this is actually something we’re doing in my live Facebook group right now. You guys are welcome to join if you haven’t yet. It’s called More Than Mindset, and I want to invite you to come there because we take these episodes into action in that group.

All week long, they’ve been posting what they want to create. We have pictures to represent, you know, what it is, whether it’s better relationships, or health, or wealth, or the thing that they want to create. A lot of them, it’s more travel, more freedom, more excitement and fun, more ease and play. It’s super fun to be a part of. I invite you to come there and meet me.

Anyway, the results that you create intentionally, on purpose. Okay? A lot of the results we’ve gotten up until this awareness comes from our subconscious. It’s like we unconsciously think all of these things of the past and habitually continue to create them, but we don’t know it. We don’t recognize it. We just think it’s luck, or it’s just the way things happen, or it’s the cord that we drew, right? We just kind of, yeah, whatever. That’s just the way things are.

That’s not true. You created those results. There is something that you specifically did, it’s an action that you took that gave you those exact results that you’re living today. Now, I’m going to talk about it in three different areas, and then I’m going to break it down to one and give you an assignment. I’m going to give you some homework. I’ll give you something to do. Welcome you to come and join us in the More Than Mindset group if you want to take it into action and you want some community or some support around it.

All right. First, we’re going to talk about health. What is your health like? Let’s talk weight, illness, disease, attitude, mentality. Tell me about your health, or tell you about your health. Write this down. Get you a notebook out. Get to work, guys. Tell me about your health. Are you where you want to be? Do you feel young, and vibrant, and energized, and strong, and confident? What is lacking in your health? What are you excited about in your health? Are you motivated to get up and move?

Like, for me personally, I love the way I feel when I exercise. I have been an exerciser since I remember, 7^th, 8^th grade like, riding my bike, riding a skateboard, going to the skating rink, you know, 5^th, 6^th, 7^th, 8^th grade, always. Even in high school, I was the one when we didn’t have P.E., I would go run on the track. I just always liked the way it felt. I think it speak about grounding in my body maybe, or it’s because I’ve always suffered from like, depression, and sadness, and boredom, and so it’s the thing I did that made me feel good.

Lately, like this past year. For those of you have been with me on the podcast, you already know I had the sciatica incident that had me down for six months. Since that incident, I’ve had the hardest time getting started again. I mean, this is a really big deal because it’s non-negotiable. Now, I’m a yoga teacher, and I own a ladies’ fitness facility here, so I have a gym, we have classes, we have equipment, and I also teach yoga.

That’s been keeping me really accountable, but recently, my schedule has changed, and I’ve stopped teaching yoga like, very, very recently, and I’m having the hardest time being accountable to myself. I’m realizing I am so accountable to my clients. I would never, ever cancel or not show up, but I am so stinking not accountable to myself. I had to set this 30-day accountability thing for myself, and that I would move 30 minutes a day, and I would meditate for 15 minutes, and I did it.

I did it somewhat, but it was a fight every single day. When I say somewhat, I didn’t do it all 30 days. I let my brain win, and it’s so pissing off. I’ve been getting coaching on this. I’ve recently put myself out there. I put myself in the hot seat, and I hired a coach because I’m like, “I’m not getting this, and I don’t know what the heck is going on.” This is what I’m thinking. I’m having a hard time putting myself first. I think it’s maybe because of habits, because of just how life has been and things have changed.

You know, it’s from having five children, two businesses, a husband that works shift work. He’s now retired. A lot of our life has changed, and I don’t know what’s going on. Another thing. I always had an accountability partner. The friend that I would walk with and exercise with, who comes to yoga. Like, we’ve just for years. I’m talking like 15 years. We have walked together, we’ve moved together, we’ve done things, and she has also retired, and so she’s not in a routine anymore.

We’re not doing things together. I’m thinking all of that combined is what has created this new scenario. Now, I didn’t notice it until I stopped teaching yoga, and I had to deal with my own brain every single morning. I’m not kidding you. I will wake up. I don’t have an alarm, but I’ll wake up anywhere between 4:00 and 5:00. I look at the time, and I’m like, “Oh.” I feel like in that moment, I could just step up and go exercise, and something happens, and I think, “Oh, it’s really comfortable. I don’t need to hurry. Then what am I going to do for the other two or three hours?”

These stories start coming into my head. Like, “Oh, it’s still dark outside,” or, “I bet the Internet is not working.” I have a Peloton, and I’m having trouble with my internet. When it goes down, I can’t connect. All this crap starts coming into my head, and I buy it. I promise you, if there’s stuff that you’re not doing, the results that you’re not getting that you want, you are buying something that your brain is telling you.

I want you to really take an account of your weight, your attitude, the way you feel in your body, your confidence level. Are you filling mushy? Are you feeling strong? Are you feeling healthy, and vibrant, and energized, and you’re sleeping well? All of that is your health. Mentally, emotionally, physically. Okay? Give yourself a grade, and then we’re going to move to the next one, which is wealth.

The money that you make, the ability to buy the things that you want and need. Your ability to save, to earn. Are you making the amount of money that you want to make? Do you have the freedom that you want, or are you, “Yes, I’m making a ton of money, but I’m working all of the time and I have no time to go spend it”? Or, “I make great money, but I don’t have it for any extras”? In other words, “I make great money, but it just pays the bills.”

Another question that you could ask yourself is, are you comfortable with the savings and retirement that you have that you will be able to stop working when you want. Or you know that if any kind of emergency happens, that you’re covered. You don’t have to worry about it. Like, you’re not stressed at all. If the car breaks down, if you break a leg, if you haven’t met your deductible yet, you have the cash for it.

I want you to give yourself a grade in finances, especially your ability to earn because here’s the thing. Once you have the ability to earn, it doesn’t even matter how much you have, you just know you can go make some more. Right? There’s an attitude right there. When I say a grade, let’s do A through F. Okay?

F is like, “I have no money. I cannot even go to the movies. Like, I have nothing, nothing. Can’t go buy a pop at the store. It takes everything I have to pay my bills, and then I can’t even get my credit cards paid down.” That would be a D to an F, right? It’s like, “I am not comfortable. I’m stressed all the time. I’m not sleeping at night. I can’t figure it out. I’m in this span in loop, and I just don’t know what else to do. I have three jobs. I have five hours a night that I can sleep, hopefully, you know.”

That would be like, worst case scenario, right? Like, “I don’t even have a home. I don’t have a car. I can’t pay my bills. My credit cards are maxed out.” That kind of thing. Or like, “Yeah, it’s okay. It’s kind of okay. I make enough money. It pays the bills. I have about $5,000 in savings. Yeah, I could go on vacation if I wanted to, but I’m afraid if I spend it, I’ll need it.” That would probably be like a C.

An A would be, “I am the creator of my money. When I want it, I turn the faucet on and I make it. I have plenty. There’s always plenty. Matter of fact, I ended the year and didn’t even know what to do with a remainder.” Okay? That would be an A. Give yourself a grade because here’s the thing about wealth. This is part of your health also. We have mental health, emotional health, physical health, financial. Okay? We want to take account these three particular things, and then I’m going to break them down.

The last one is going to be relationships. This is relationship with yourself, with your significant other, with your partner, with your siblings, parents, children, just relationships in general. You’ll probably think of one in particular that’s going to stand out to you. Find that one that you went to improve. We’re going to give yourself a grade. Like, how intimate do you feel? Do you guys have a bond? Is it trusting? Are you nurturing and building that relationship? Are you taking the time to do things together? Is it pleasant, or are you mostly annoyed?

 

It’s kind of like, “I love her. I love my best friend, but oh, she pisses me off.” Right? “She gets under my skin. She’s like, so competitive, or she mocks everything that I do, or she makes fun of me, or like, she’s always putting me down, and she’s bossy.” Just tell me, what are your thoughts? Just find one relationship. This is the cool part. How you do anything is how you do everything. It’s probably going to kind of be the same all the way across.

All right. You gave yourself three grades. One in health, one in wealth, one in relationships. That’s how you feel in your physical body. You’re showing up strong, confident, energized, amazing. You can take on the world. You’ve got all the money that you need. There’s plenty in savings. You can take the week off and go and travel. Just everything is amazing. Your bills are paid, you have plenty of money to go out to eat, or to go grocery shopping, or to treat a friend, whatever it is, go to the spa for the day, and your relationships are amazing.

You’re in love with everything and everyone. It’s all just amazing. Your relationship with your business, your relationship with yourself, with other people. Very good. Three grades. All right. This is what I want you to take note of. I said it already, but I’ll say it again. How you do anything is how you do everything. It does not matter which one of these you are going to pick to work on because you’re going to pick just one, and I’m going to take you through a little assignment. You know, I learned this concept in yoga. How you do anything is how you do everything.

As I’m not only a teacher, but also a practitioner, and you guys can take this into fitness if you don’t do yoga, notice your attitude, your mindset when it’s a particular pose, or when you don’t feel like doing something that day. Or let’s say you’re doing Crow Pose, and you just can’t get it. You can’t get the balance. You can’t figure out how to do it. You’ve busted your nose a few times because you just can’t stay afloat.

Or just even staying in Warrior II. Or just say, “Let’s just stay for five minutes.” You’re just hanging out, and you’re like, “Oh my God, was she pleased? Just move on to the next pose. Can we please come out of this?” I want you to notice where your mind goes. There’s a few ways. Number one, you’re super competitive, and you’re like, “Oh, screw you, I got this,” and you take it even further, right? You just like, push through, white knuckle. Maybe it’s bypassing, maybe it’s not, but you make sure you master it.

Or maybe you get mad, and you give up, “Screw this,” and you come out of it. You take a different pose, go into Child’s Pose. You just come out of it, and you go up into your head. Or maybe you get defeated, and you feel sad, and depressed, and you judge yourself. Think about what you do.

Like, if you were running, if you were riding a bike 20 miles, and you got to mile two, and you were like, “I just don’t feel like doing it today.” What would you do? Would you turn around and go home? Would you push through it? Would you get mad, blame it on the bike, blaming it on traffic, blame it on the tires, or whatever. Think about what do you do.

Do you eject, lash out? Or do you shut down? Always going to be one or the other. These are the actions that we take, and this is why I want to express this to you today. How we do anything is how we do everything. If you tend to give up, shut down, that’s likely what you’re doing in every other area of your life.

If you get mad, and you compete, and you’re like, “I’m going to show you,” and you kind of bulldoze through, you’re probably doing that in your relationships, and in your business, and with your health and wellness, right? You’re kind of showing your body like, “I’m going to show you. You want to just gain weight and be all puffy? I’m going to show you. I’m going to starve you today.” That’s just the crazy stuff we do.

All right. I want you to pick one of these areas, and it’s going to be the thing that’s creating the most suffering in your life. Are you feeling sad because you’re unsatisfied, you’re not fulfilled, connected in your relationship? Are you feeling kind of bored? You know, like, yeah, we don’t really have anything in common, we don’t know what to talk about anymore, you know?

Or is it your money? Are you tired of not being able to do what you want to do? Are you tired of worrying about money? Are you tired about not figuring out how to make money in your business? Or is it your health? I’m sick and tired of hurting all of the time. Every time I turn around, I have a sinus infection, I have this rash, I’m exhausted. My body hates me.

Okay. Pick one of those, and then I’m going to give you some questions to ask yourself. Write it down. Put the grade on the side of it. Do I have what I want? We’re just going to use health. If you want to feel strong, confident, vibrant, amazing, energized, in gratitude of all that your body does, is that what you want?

What are you doing to get it? Are you getting up and exercising? Are you eating healthy food? Are you drinking clean water? Are you relaxing your mind? Are you maybe meditating? What are you doing to create better health? Write specifically, “I go to Zumba class, I go to yoga, I swim, I ride a bike, I meditate 15 minutes, 20 minutes. I get massages. I love myself. I love my body. I apply lotion, and I get pedicures, and get my hair done, and I love the way it feels when I’m loving on my body.”

What are you doing to get what you want, and is it working? What are the results? Look at your body. Take inventory. Fill into your mental and emotional health. How does that feel? Do you feel balanced? Do you feel in control? Do you feel joyful, playful? Do you have ease, or is everything hard and struggle? If you answered, “Yes, what I’m doing is working, and I feel amazing,” then you can stop there.

If you said no, then I want you to ask yourself, “What will I do different starting tomorrow? What am I going to do differently? Because if that’s really what I want, I would be taking the action to get it.” This is self-inquiry. If you want an amazing business, take the actions to get it. If you want amazing health, take the actions to get it. If you want intimate relationships, take actions so that you get that.

If you are not taking the actions, then you are letting the unconscious part of your brain win. The part that says you can’t have it. That’s not fair. This is just the BS that life handed you. Terrible luck. Just the way that you’re supposed to suffer. Someone commented on my Facebook page today, “Genetics were in control, right? Like, there was an outside force. God gave you a body that was not meant to last more than 80 years, and so pain, physical pain is the way of the body breaking down preparing for death.” I’m like, “That’s a terrible belief.”

Why would you believe that? These unconscious stories like, they came from someone somewhere. It’s like, we believe that, but we kind of logically don’t admit it, but there’s something beneath the surface. It’s identifying the true beliefs by the actions that we take. It’s crazy. We walk around saying, “I want to feel confident. I want to feel strong and healthy. I don’t want to feel physical pain. I want to feel at ease in my body and go and to appreciate it. I want it to take me everywhere, as I need to go, and I want it to function properly.”

Then we’re smoking cigarettes, and drinking a bottle of wine, and eating fried chicken, and cheesecake, and M&M’s. Can you see how the behavior is not in alignment with the desire? What results do you think you’re going to get? Are you going to get the results of this is what I think I would? Or are you going to get the results of the action that you’re taking? Of course you’re going to get the results from the action that you’re taking.

This is just the way transformation works. This is just the way our primal brain is. It’s crazy. It’s batshit crazy. It’s like we are constantly walking around saying what we don’t want and bringing more of that. We’re creating more of what we don’t want because that’s the story that’s speaking the loudest. Why? Because we don’t have awareness.

Really, that’s what this entire podcast is about, is to bring awareness to the things that you say, the things that you do, and the things that you get. If I can help turn on the light so you can quit lying to yourself, quit defeating yourself ahead of time, quit quitting on yourself because these stories are running the show. I know so many of you who are amazing hillers. I know the modalities that you offer. I know your work, and I know you personally, and I know that the world is looking for it

There are people waiting for you to show up and serve, but because you believe this unconscious limiting story that it is not available for you, that you can’t make that kind of money, that you can’t work less hours, provide better service without killing yourself.

You can make as much money as you want, and work the hours that you want, and offer amazing value, be satisfied, content, fulfilled because you’re living your purpose and your passion. It is possible. The only reason you don’t have it is because you don’t believe it, and you’re taking actions from the place of disbelief, and it’s creating those results. If you are living in chronic pain, adrenal fatigue, or chronic fatigue, like burnout, exhaustion, arthritis, autoimmune.

If you are living a life of illness and disease, there is something in your unconscious that believes that that’s all you’re worthy of, guys. This is your wake-up call. Take an inventory of your health on these three tiers. Your physical body, your money, and your relationships. Just start here. Do an actual inventory. Bring it to your awareness.

Now, I’m going to give you something to do to help yourself because I can guarantee you your brain, which is such a bully, and it’s not a bully because it’s mean, it’s a bully because it’s trying to protect us. It’s like, “Don’t do anything unfamiliar and unsafe. We may die. Don’t try it. Don’t try it. You’re going to fail. Then you’re going to be so ashamed. Don’t do it.”

That’s what our brain tells us, and it’s up to us to teach our brain better. Okay? Let it know, “Hey, we’ve grown up. We’re not in grade school anymore. We’re not in high school. We’re not in that terrible relationship anymore.” Okay? That’s up to us. That’s our job, our adult self.

This is what I want you to do. You decide which area you’re going to work on, and only pick one. Pick the one that’s the most important to you right now. You’re going to do this for a few days. I want you to pick one that you’re going to be able to stick with for three months. Okay? This is what I did for myself. It was very simple, and it cost me a dollar.

It’s like, I had this little bowl. You can use a Mason jar, you can use just a teacup, right? Two rolls of pennies. You might have something else already in the house that’s not even pennies. It doesn’t matter. Use what you want. Use some marbles. I use pennies because those were easy, and they were flat, and I liked the way I could grab them.

Every time your brain gives you resistance, every time it says you can’t have it, you can’t do it, that’s not allowed, it’s not fair. Every time your brain feeds you a story and gives you the urge to quit, I want you to grab a penny, rub it between your fingers, and I want you to turn the conversation around. “I can. I will. I’m worthy of it.” Something simple like that. “That’s not me. That’s my old story saying that. That’s not true.” These are things, these are interruptions.

Say you’re going out to eat, and you really think you should eat a salad, and then your brain’s like, “I don’t know. I’m really hungry. We should get that fried seafood basket or whatever,” but yet you know better because it’s not the results you want. You don’t want to eat fried food. You want to eat the healthy salad. Keep it simple. You resist the urge to eat the thing that your brain is telling you, you should have. Right there, you say, “No. How am I going to feel tomorrow? That’s not going to do it. This is going to make me feel better.” Then you decide, you grab the penny. Bing, there’s one.

You are going to do this 100 times. Okay? If it’s about relationships and intimacy, and you’re noticing that the conversation is not going in the direction you want, and you feel yourself closed off. Matter of fact, your brain says, “Yeah, well we might as well just stop right now because he doesn’t understand me. I’m just going to shut up,” and we close up. I want you to resist that urge.

Take a breath. “That’s not me. That’s not the relationship that I want. I want to have an open communication with intimacy, trust, and joy.” And instead of closing up, you have an honest conversation and say, “Actually, that’s not what’s going on here. This is actually what’s going on,” and you do it from a kind and gentle place. That’s not easy for a lot of us to be kind and gentle. Okay? If you do that, then you grab a penny. Okay?

If you do this with money, as soon as your brain says, “You can’t charge that. They won’t pay that. They’re not going to like you. They’re going to think you’re all about the money.” As soon as your brain feeds you the BS, I want you to grab a penny. “That’s an old story. That’s a limiting belief. That came from my parents. That came from the last place that I worked. That came from my friends on Facebook.”

Right? “Or from my church group, or my rosary group, whatever. I was told that I can’t charge for this type of service because I’m using my gifts to make money, and that’s me taking advantage of God, or the church, or whatever.” Whatever the story is, I want you to say, “That’s not me. Actually, if I show up and offer this, and they pay for it, it’s my way of serving the world. It’s the value that I offer, and it’s fine to collect money because that’s me taking care of myself, which is also my responsibility.” You would grab a penny. You’re going to do this a hundred times.

Now, I hope you do it at least once a day for the next three months because that’s like 90 days, right, so it’d be really close. Now, here’s the thing. Your brain is going to ask, “Okay, Kim, that sounds great, but can I just use 20 pennies? Or can we just do 50 pennies?” Actually, you can turn a habit in 28 days, right?

With hypnotherapy, we do it. We go in, we unveil the root cause, pull the plug, we dismantle the old story, the unconscious belief very quickly. Then we plant a new seed, which is a new story, which is a new affirmation. Then we do a recording, and then it goes into a meditation, and they listen to it every single day and rewire the brain. Okay? That’s how that works.

Yes, it can work in 28 days or 30 days, but here’s the thing. If you’re going to do this forever, then what’s the harm in doing it a hundred times? Isn’t that interesting? Isn’t that interesting that your brain wanted to shortcut it, right? It wanted to give up ahead of time. What was the thought that your mind said, if it said, “Can we just do 50, can we just do 20?” Because I know you guys because I have a brain, and it’s stubborn, and I know that’s what it would do if someone was telling me to do it.

I’d be like, “Oh, yeah, I’ll try it a few times,” and then I got that, and then I would quit doing the exercise, and then I would not get the results. I would get the unconscious results instead. That’s what I want to urge you to do. I want you to commit to yourself. Don’t commit to me. Commit to you. “I’m going to do this. I want to see if it’s going to work because I really want a better relationship. I really want more money. I really want better health.” Do it for you. Commit to it, cultivate it. In other words, act from the place that it’s already happened, and you continue that 100 times.

Now, you’re welcome to come into the group and share. Send me an email, let me know how it’s going. Share this with your friends. Share this episode. Give me a five-star review and say, “I’m really loving the episode” to encourage and inspire me to keep going. Right? Seriously, see if you can do it, and let me know how it works for you because it’s working really well for me.

I have my pennies right here. You might be able to hear them, rattling them right now. That’s my pennies. I have a picture on my Facebook. You can go check it out. I put it right here by my bed, and every morning, my brain says, “It’s too cold. It’s dark. We’ll do it later. We got plenty of time.”

When my brain says that, I do, “Stop. You’re a liar. I won’t do it later. We’ve tried this. This has been going on for a year. You’re wrong. I’m doing something different now.” I grab my penny, I put my feet on the floor, and I get my butt on the Peloton. I get up, and I move. I get up, and I do something different. I am redirecting the old habits and behaviors, and that is how you make change. Okay? Right.

Tell me how it goes. I’m excited to hear from you. I want to get some amazing results. Let me know after 30 days for sure, but if this is just like, “Oh my God, I’m totally going to try this, this sounds amazing,” then I want you to practice resisting the urge to quit. Practice resisting listening to your crazy brain. Allow the discomfort to pass by. That’s all you’re doing, is you’re allowing the urge that says, “Quit, give up, and do things the old way.” Breathe and take the new way. All right, I love you all.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset. If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to health, wealth, and relationships, head over to www.portal.kimguillory.com to learn more about the portal. It’s a membership community where we take this work deeper, apply the concepts, and coach around the tough stuff.