Ep #23: Taking Control of Your Creation

Your first experience trying to create in this new mind space can be nerve-wracking and you can easily default back to your old way of doing things, simply because it’s safe. Your brain will automatically want to do what it thinks works. Also, others might try to discredit your new way of thinking. It can be a difficult choice to do what you know or embrace the change.

Today, I want to empower you to push through that reaction and hold to your new mindset because it can help you reach your most important needs, wants, and desires. Over the course of our mindset transformation, we have radically shifted the neural pathways that guide us through our decision-making. Now, we’ve reached the final step which is creating and manifesting the changes you want to make in your life.

This process is the most important and the trickiest to manage but can have amazing results, so join me as we talk about creating in a transformed headspace.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The beautiful potential of your creative spirit after your mindset transformation.
  • Why you will intuitively revert to your old mindset and how to overcome those feelings.
  • How your body reacts to fearful emotions and how you can create despite that reaction.
  • How to take charge of your creation and leave negative beliefs behind.
  • Ways that your positive (or negative) mindset manifests in your daily life.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners, the only podcast that can help YOU help more people, create a greater impact, and make more money in the health and wellness industry. Join Clarity and Confidence Coach, Kim Guillory, as she teaches you how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started…

Hello, hello, hello my lovely friends. Today we are going to talk all about creating, so we’re moving onto the next step. So make sure you start from the beginning if you feel a little lost here because we do not want you creating your future from your now or past mindset and perception. Super important. Here it is right here. This is where so many go wrong and don’t receive the transformation or the change.

So if you try to create your future from your current or past mindset, your brain can only create and experience and feel safe in what it’s already seen, known, and doing. I’m just going to give you a little recap about today. So I am super excited, of course I’m always excited because I’m going to see my grandbaby in Mississippi as soon as I finish this.

So I am only 30 minutes away from hitting the road. I want to talk about my excitement of the Integrative Life and the Integration Now platform. Actually, it’s called the Integration Live membership platform. So the Integrative Life is well, we know the word integrative. It’s all about intending to unify. Unify the mind-body connection. Let’s us see that we are a whole system. We need to bring the parts of our self together.

In the past, it’s been we separate medical from spiritual, from our physical body, and it’s like, it’s three different worlds but that’s not the case. We need to bring them all in together. So we want to integrate all aspects of our self so that we can become whole and satisfied and we can know our self and we can experience joy and happiness and satisfaction and fulfillment, and we can be free to be who we are.

So the actual membership site is the integration, which is the process of integrating. So it’s the actual work with support. So that is the place where I can take you through all of the processes on all of the different levels because we’re coming in from all different areas of health. And because I’m only one person and I can only have so much time and I can only serve so many people, that this is the way that I’m able to serve the bulk.

And I also have mentors, teachers, leaders, coaches who are trained in this exact work and process who will be able to help support you so we can therefore create a bigger impact and have more service and availability and have more value because of all of the experiences that they bring to the table, and their success story and their clients’ success story and all of that. So it’s a bigger impact by having us together as a collective group in a community so that we have more people there that we are aligned with, more high-minded, high thinkers.

Alright, so I just wanted to say that’s why I’m so excited because the platform went live and we’ve got members coming in and we’re about to start the boot camp and this is the place for you to come, I promise you. You should come over and meet us. Okay, so today let’s talk about creating.

So the old temptations, the neural pathways, the samskaras, the old stories and unfelt perceptions that are still lying within your unconscious body or the drivers for you to keep recreating the past. So let’s just get that straight. We don’t want to create the future while we still have the conditioning, the patterning, the societal systems embedded in our psyche. We want to release that, relieve your mind of all of that so that you’re not tempted to go back.

Because those neural pathways drive pretty deep. Things that we’ve been doing for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years. It’s pretty deep, and the mind doesn’t understand how it could be different. It doesn’t even see that there could be a possibility of change. It might see some motivation or inspiration for example in someone else, but it doesn’t understand how it could be possible for the self because the story that the self is telling is that it’s not possible, it hasn’t happened yet, when’s the other shoe going to drop.

You could have the evidence, you could have $100,000 sitting in your checking account and you can still think that there’s not enough, that it’s going to run out, that something big may happen and it may take it. I see this all the time. The same thing with my clients who receive healing in their body, and then they get a little cough.

I had a coach recently and she was – every time we get ready to do the next big thing, this comes up again. So here’s an example. She’s going to do this live event and I don’t know, she gets something and she’s like, it’s as if the Hashimoto’s isn’t healed and I’m not so sure that I did receive it and I’m having signs now and I think I didn’t and I’m like, okay, let’s work the process here. Tell me what are the symptoms. What is the fact?

And she starts laughing. She’s like, well that’s the problem, I don’t really have any. So she basically had a headache and she was telling herself, or her brain was telling her that oh, that meant that she must be or that it didn’t work. It’s insane what our brain does to us that stalls our success, our transformation, stalls what we are trying to achieve and where we want to go.

It’s just your brain. It’s doing its job. You don’t need to get mad at it. Just recognize that it’s a bully and it’s just afraid. It’s so afraid that you’re going to be in danger, that it’s not going to know what to do when it doesn’t have any problems to solve, and it’s like hey, it’s like the little kid. Like look at me, look at me, look at me, and they’re doing things to get attention. That’s just what your brain does.

It does that to your physical body when it wants you not to feel emotions that are coming up, it turns on pain in your body so that you focus your attention on the drama of the pain, and you go into giving that a lot of focus and intention. That way you don’t have to feel the emotion that’s trying to come up, and this is crazy because it only takes 90 seconds at most to feel that emotion and it just feels uncomfortable. It’s a sensation in your body.

Once you can show it that, once we can help you process that and teach you these modalities, this process that helps you overcome that, then you are in control of your thoughts, of your actions, and of your future. In other words, in control of your own life, instead of these old emotions, these old unprocessed, unfelt, triggered stories happening in the body. Period. And it all comes from thoughts, so more about that.

The creating the new for some of you who are not feelers because you’ve turned off the feeling because it’s been scary, it may be kind of hard to feel into the new belief and to feel into the new story so that you can imagine it, so that you can create it. So that’s why it’s super important for you guys to go backwards, listen to some of the other podcasts leading up to here, come over to the Integrative Life Facebook group, find me, tag me, send me an email, I can guide you to the right place.

You can come on to the membership site where we’re actually helping you process this live, me, I’m helping you, I’m walking you through it. We’re doing it all online. You don’t need me to come to your house, you don’t need to come to my office. This is where it’s at. If you cannot imagine the possibilities of your future, you cannot feel it in your body, you can’t receive the hope, the health, the wealth, the happiness, the joy, you can’t even receive the possibility that your relationship could be mended, that you could bring your family back to unity, that you can bring yourself back to connection, you can’t imagine a life without stress and anxiety, I urge you to get some support. Period.

You can get as much as you can get here, but just receiving new information is not going to get you that breakthrough. Not quickly anyway. I mean, you might listen for six, seven, eight years, but I’m offering you to take that work a little bit deeper and actually bring it to fruition in your life. Bring it to the actuality. So actualize it. That’s the word.

Alright, so here it is. I want you to make a list. Here’s your homework. This is – hopefully this one will be a short version – a short podcast. I feel like I’ve been going over a lot of the times. So write down all of the things that you want, all of the things that you need, and all of the things that you desire. Things you want, need, and desire. Yeah, there’s a difference.

So what you need is food and water and sleep. Probably a house over your head, a roof over your head. What you want is safety and love and affection and connection and I actually – a coach and I were talking about this the other day and I was being interviewed on their podcast. And I asked the question, do you believe it’s a need or a want for personal touch and acknowledgment and connection?

I personally think it’s a need. I think it’s a human need. I don’t think it’s just a want. I think we need each other. But that’s just my opinion. Like I said, I’ve had this conversation with a few other coaches and professionals and clients and for me personally, the way I’m built, how I’m created, I’m a feeler, emotions are very much alive in me. I know things, I feel things, I can see things with the mind’s eye, and it comes from the sensation, the vibration that I feel.

The same thing with information that comes through, just like when I’m sitting here, this stuff is just coming through me. I can feel it. I can feel the sensations, I can feel the joy, the happiness, the connection. I can feel that I’m in my authority and essence and I recognize that not everyone has that turned on.

And what happens is when we experience traumatic events, especially early on is we eject, we leave our self. So we turn those emotion centers off so that we don’t have to feel the suffering. And we can go an entire lifetime, like outside of our self, outside of our body. And this is where a lot of illness and disease comes from. This is where chronic pain comes from.

And maybe just recognizing that when pain or painful events happen in your life, that’s basically the trauma coming in for a better outcome. So it’s like hey, we’re going to experience this again and let’s turn it around. Let’s do it a different way so that we can change the story so we don’t have to experience this anymore. And that’s what I mean by the habits and behaviors keep wanting to go back to the old ways.

If you don’t know that, the statement that I just said, if you don’t understand that, then you don’t recognize that it’s just the body taking you into the past. It’s just the sensations, the story, the feelings, the thoughts that are taking you into the past. It’s not actuality. You cannot, would not, should not, could not relive that moment. It’s gone forever. The only reason the old story, the old trauma, the old event, the old memory is still alive is because of you.

Only reason. It’s gone forever. What I just said five minutes ago is gone. There’s a recording of it, you can go back and replay it, and you can bring yourself back into the emotion of it, but the moment is gone. And so the experience that happened in the past is gone. But you have a thought about the experience. You think it’s a bad thing, you think it’s a good thing, you think it shouldn’t have happened, you think it could have happened differently.

All of that stuff is you causing your own suffering from what? Two things. Two reasons people suffer. Judgment and comparison. You judging how it should have happened, you judging and comparing it to how it happened for someone else, how it should have happened, it shouldn’t happen to you, why me, poor me. That’s your story.

Sorry boo, but this is the word that everyone hates to hear, but that’s victim mentality. You believing that you were the victim of the circumstances. You were the victim of your family, you were the victim of the weather, you were the victim of whatever took place. You’re the victim of your own life and that old story is what keeps taking you into the old habits, behaviors, temptations. That’s the thing.

So while we’re moving into this next phase, which is the creating, I want you to be very aware of what you are recreating from your past because of your story, so that that would encourage you to go backwards and decondition. And your brain is not going to want to do this because it’s painful. It’s suffering. There’s some grieving to it. There’s some fear. There’s some unknown. It’s unfamiliar. It’s no big deal. That’s just sensations and thoughts.

That’s just what your brain is telling you. It’s actually just 90 seconds of discomfort. Seriously, get over it. Stop it. I just want to say just stop it. Look up the Bob Newhart stop it thing on YouTube. It’s so funny. He’s like, just stop it, don’t do it anymore, just stop it. And it seems easy, right? That’s what we do when we white-knuckle and we quit smoking and quit drinking and quit eating sugar and flour. It’s like we just want to just stop it and we don’t understand why we keep craving it and why it’s so terrible to suffer and why we want to have it.

That’s the pruning process. That’s that when we are actually removing from it, and it’s uncomfortable. So what? You just get better at being uncomfortable. If 50% is going to suck because of contrast, then let it be the sucking away that’s propelling you forward. Instead of being in a way that’s keeping you stuck. So you have to have and experience the contrast of emotions to appreciate emotions and come into gratitude and to create more. Period.

We have to do it. It’s how humans are designed, it’s what we’re made for, it’s what this human life – it’s what we’re here to experience with it. So the only way you’re going to know true joy is if you’ve experienced the opposite. Gosh, how do you know that’s hot unless you know it’s cold? How do you know what you don’t like unless you know what you do like? How do you know what you do like unless you know what you don’t like?

So these are just experiences that have been in your life so that you can know the difference. So when I ask you write down all the things you want, you need, you desire, if you can’t imagine it from here, from today, from right now, go back to when you were a kid. When you were a dreamer, when you were young, when you played with airplanes and toys and Barbie dolls and homemade houses and tents and you built forts and go back to then when you dressed pretty and wanted lipstick and think about how you felt when you had a desire, a want, a need back then.

What did you want? I want to pull out the word want. What did you want? What did you desire? Before the world told you you couldn’t have it, before the world told you you were wrong, before the world told you it wasn’t possible for you, it was unavailable, whether that came from your parents or your friend or your sibling. Siblings love to do this stuff. They love to rip our dreams.

I think it’s so that we can grow up and show them that we did it. So when you come to this part about what is the thing that you want to create, you want to be super clear. And so what’s going to happen is the mind’s going to say oh, I remember I wanted to be a singer and it gets excited, and then the other part, the part that told you you couldn’t do it, it’ll take you back to the story of the person who told you you couldn’t.

Not you. Who are you? You’re too short, you’re too tall. I remember this older lady told me I was – took my kids to see her in the hospital. It was their grandmother and I was going to beauty school, you know, cosmetology. And she says, Michelle, you sure you want to do that because you’re kind of big, that’s going to hurt your back. Like, hello, that’s very suggestible and that is also what the world thinks.

Luckily, I was smart enough to know back then and not take it personal, although I did kind of take it personal. I thought she was a mean old hag. But I remember saying I pray for you anyway. And I was like, that’s not necessarily true. I don’t have to believe that. But that is what the world thinks. They love to dampen the dream so that you don’t have to get hurt. They want to save you from the experience. They want to tell you the things that are going to go wrong before you have to experience it going wrong.

So let’s just call it BS, and by BS I mean belief system. BS is belief systems. It is BS. I call bullshit. Got it? BS. Belief systems. Things that people believe that they suggest to your mind that you take on as a thought and then you think it enough times, and then it becomes your belief, therefore creating your BS, your belief system. And your brain buys it. Loves it because it feels super safe because I’m like oh, well if I don’t go to school, if I don’t spend that money, and I don’t do it then I won’t have the backache.

Hello, hello. Does that make sense? No, but that’s how silly it is. That’s how much we listen to ridiculous stuff. It’s just like, lack of awareness and ignorance and believing that other people know better than us. That was not true. I was in the hair and nail industry, I made gobs of money, amazing friends, I learned fabulous lessons. Oh my god, that was probably one of the best parts of my life is the experiences that I learned through being a cosmetologist.

So if I had listened to her limiting belief and taken it on, just think about that. How often have you done that in your life? What was your dream? Did you want to be a singer, an actor? Did you want to write a book? Did you want to babysit? So many kids, they just want to be a mama. They just want to play with their baby dolls and they want to babysit for the neighbors because they just want to be a mama.

And then the world told them they can’t do that, they won’t have what they want, they won’t be able to afford anything, their kids won’t have anything. Again, BS and I ask you whose BS is it? Is it your belief system or is it theirs? Is it society’s? Is it generations? Where did it come from? You want to know all of this before you go on to create what it is that you want in your life, that you want to bring in because you don’t want to take their BS into your future. You want it to be yours.

So ask the questions. Come into the Integrative Life Facebook group, come and join us, let us know. Give us your answers to this. What are the things that you really want that you desire? What are the things that you really need because the need part is about the safety. What does your brain need to feel safe about dreaming? What does it need to feel safe about career? What does it need to feel safe about having children?

Because some people love babies, they love children, they want to raise them, but they are so afraid that they’re going to do what their parents did, that they’ve actually put themselves in a position not to live the desires that they want because of fear of repeating the past. But if you do this work, then you’ll realize that you are in charge. You don’t have to recreate the past. You’re in charge.

Power and control, instead of your emotions being in charge. So for this week, especially if you’re following along on a weekly basis, for this week really start diving in. We’re doing the belief boot camp, which is a great place for you to bring these desires or wants to fruition. So we’re actually doing the process with you, which is perfect, so you don’t have to do it alone.

You have the extra support and we celebrate with you, which that’s amazing because if you live in a community and you’re trying to make these changes and transformation and people don’t get you, you’re kind of like the alien. We want to invite you to our planet where we do. We want to believe in unicorns and rainbows and daisies, then we can, but we want to support the possibilities that are available for everyone. We truly want to support prosperity, health, wealth, happiness, joy, relationships being mended, connecting to yourself and others, connecting back to god, back to family, back to this space of unity and where there’s more ease, more flow, more freedom to be yourself.

So I know very many people that I work with chronic pain and illness and disease, it’s because they’re disconnected from their authority. They’re not living as their authentic self because they – this is how I say like, wherever your little human body landed, whatever family it showed up in, which is beautiful because they teach us things we need in order to become the people we are, but if you feel like the black sheep, if you feel like the alien, if you feel like you’re different in your community and your family, that kind of stuff, and so you’re acting like them instead of acting like you, the unique individual, your body will physically manifest this.

It will. It will show up in your thyroids, in your nervous system, it’ll show up that you’re out of alignment, it’ll show up in your weight. It’ll show up in your joy or lack of joy, how you see the world, what your perception is. So it’s super important to be aware of these things, so before you experienced fear and doubt and shame, what were your wants, dreams, desires?

Before the world told you you could not dream that, you could not have that, you could not believe that, right then and there, find out what is it that she wanted most, that he wanted most as a younger child. Maybe even taking that further, when did the dream die, become aware of, what is it that you heard that made you believe that it wasn’t possible for you, that you couldn’t have it. These are all the first steps to creating.

So go back to the PUN. Presence, unveil the story, navigate around it by giving yourself a positive affirmation, which is anything is and everything is possible for me. I am a child of god, I am love, I am essence. I can ease, I can have that in my life. I can bring it to others. Any of those affirmations. And then just notice and be aware of the old story and then also when you think about the old story, when you think about not being able to have it, when you think that the possibility is not for you, that you’re not available, or it’s not available for you, think about what are the sensations that come in your body.

Feel those. See if you can stay present with them. If you need help processing that, reach out to the group, reach out to me. We have coaches who can help you do that, or I can help you on one of the calls in the membership site. And then think about if you don’t process this, how much more it strengthens the story of the doubt, the story of the not having it. If you’re not willing to feel the sensations, then that’s kind of what people call the block.

It’s this fear comes up in the body but it’s not necessarily the fear of thought. My opinion, I think if you’ve had any sort of unresolved trauma in the past, it’s actually the sensation that’s scaring you most. It’s not the thought because most of you have already done so much work on this that by the time you find me or you get here, I can have the conversation with you because I know you’ve done the work.

And so it’s just recognizing that the integration is the next step. So if you already do the mindset work, if you already do the affirmation work, if it’s still not working for you, just know that the next step is integration and embodiment, and that is what I’m offering the world. I’m helping you take the soul essence and bring it into the human experience in joy, in freedom, in essence and abundance.

So just notice in order to break a habit, that we have to really know that the body is driving home the old story. And that’s the hardest part to break through in my experience, in the work that I do. I recognize that there are other people that have other skills and gifts that they bring forward, but in my particular world and in what I’m teaching here and what my impact and agenda is, the place that I serve in this world, the thing that I am most in authority of is the mental and emotional connection through the spiritual journey.

That is what I do. That’s who I am. That’s the space I hold in presence, in safety. I love to support and kind of cocoon and burrito people. I love being the Southern grandma where I’m like, there in the huddle, which is why I had to create the platform because I don’t want to be on top and above and unapproachable and unreachable. I actually wanted to be in the essence of it.

And so by creating this site, it created the space, the container for me to be able to take this work out and then support you on such deep levels, even beyond myself with other people who have already done this work because they can give you the proof. They can also support you. And so that’s important to me, so of course I created what’s important to me.

Because I was seeing so many coaches in the industry, even when I was the essential oil company and direct sales and different companies, I kept seeing the same story. There’s amazing, fabulous leaders. I went back on all of their information, on their histories and past and there is no reason they’re not successful, this is the reason. Because when they go to take the leap or if you’ve not read the book The Big Leap, you should totally check that out.

When they go to take the next leap or the next step or go to the next level, the body, the physical body freezes. So they can’t out-think it because the nervous system creates that protector. And so you’re basically a prisoner of your own emotions, a prisoner of your own reactivity that’s happening in your body. And you can’t break through it with mindset because the body wants to shut down, goes into fight or flight, goes into freeze, and then when you go into that, the body physically manifests in pain.

Especially you’ll see this in back pain, sciatica, knees, feet, hips. Those areas are all about moving forward. The right side especially because that’s what you’re taking out into the world, so you’ll notice things are really triggered on the right side. And I’m not saying this to be suggestible, so I want you to be very careful about that and not take on that that has to happen. That’s not what I’m saying at all.

I’m saying that’s why it does happen, if it has happened to you. But just know that not everyone has unresolved trauma, that some people are great at just mind work and they don’t have to go back to those experiences. But I work with people who have had the extremes. I work with the extremes, and so highly functioning professionals like, really high functioning professionals who are frozen in fight or flight because of old trauma that has come up.

This is maybe third, fourth, fifth, sixth time for healing. They’ve been able to white-knuckle it up until this point and then they’ve hit this where it’s stronger than they are, and so I love working with these individuals because they’ve already kind of toughened a lot. They come with a lot to the table so they’re able to understand that this is the step that’s missing and it’s beautiful.

I’m a highly functioning individual, I was an entrepreneur for 24 years, figured it out for myself, went through a lot of stuff. There’s more than I’m going to bring in here about my personality and different things. We can’t open that can of worms right now. I will literally blow up your mind. I have so much information to share moving forward.

Alright, so anyway that’s why highly functioning individuals or entrepreneurs or professionals hit the road blocks and then they’ll turn to alcohol, to drugs, to depression, to giving up, to suicide, to quitting. Those kinds of things, and I want to say it doesn’t have to be that way. Doesn’t have to be that way. We want to help, I can help you.

If you are a highly functioning individual and you do not want to be in a group setting, I only take a handful of private clients and so you really have – and I only do it on a six months basis and so you have to fit into the loop. So you have to reach out privately and say you’re interested so I can put you on the waiting list for that.

But for the rest, guys, come along and just start letting this stuff absorb in your brain, giving you new hope, new opportunity, and anyway, we’re moving on to create for the next few episodes, so this is the first one. Stay here for a while. Really look at the things that you want, the reasons why you can’t have it, and what we’re going to move through is getting rid of those reasons and I will show you that they’re not true. Alright, until next week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today.

 

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