Ep #233: The Art of Coaching

 

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• The Life Coach School
• Brooke Castillo

 

Full Episode Transcript:

Ep #232: What is Self-Healing?

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello and welcome back to the show. All right, guys, I am back from Vegas. It was very hot there. It is hot in Louisiana, but Vegas is a whole different kind of hot. Same thing with Scottsdale, Arizona. It is very dry hot. You got a little wrinklier and stuff like that. That’s what I noticed.

As far as the temperature itself is concerned, it didn’t feel a whole lot different, but it’s good to be home. I will be here for a couple of weeks before heading to Miami in August, so I’ve got some cool things in the oven that I am creating for you, and one of them is going to be what I’m talking about today, which is coaching.

What is the art of coaching? How do I benefit from coaching Exactly, what is it? Because I know there are many, many people in the world who still don’t really understand the power of coaching, and because it has completely transformed my life. I am an advocate, and so I have been doing these feedback sessions where I am working with coaches who have already been practicing but are maybe running into some snags with their clients.

So, either there’s like a lot of mental chatter or their framework is really not. I won’t say it’s not working. The client is not agreeing to abide by the framework. That happens where you know exactly how to coach and what you’re doing, but then the client’s mental stuff is going all over and then it gets a little messy. Well, I love untangling that.

So, I have been doing these coach practice and feedback sessions oh my God, I’m having so much fun and so I’ve gotten probably more fan mail from doing this than anything else, and so it’s been super fun to open that up the last few weeks.

So, I am going to dedicate this episode to the understanding of what coaching is. So, last week I talked about what self-healing is, and I think I even mentioned the self-healing model, which is something that I created through my own experience in my personal healing transformation as well as working with thousands of clients.

So, I’m not coming from the perspective of professional coaching as much as I am from coaching the individual. So, I see lots of coaches making plenty of money on selling two coaches or two business owners.

But I really made my start in being a coach a healing focused coach and I was integrating the modalities that I had learned and had been trained in, and I started to see a theme and then I was invited to write a book and to become part of this platform that was doing a documentary in Switzerland.

It was this big thing, but I had to write a book and become a best-selling author on Amazon in order to qualify. So, I did that, and when I went to write the book, I was like I don’t know what I’m going to write about.

I really didn’t want it to be an autobiography or writing about my story, and so I came up with this how did I figure out how to want to live, like? How did I stay married for 30 years? How did I raise five kids? How have I been successfully in business since 1997 across from a crawfish lake in front of a hayfield? How did I figure that out? And so that is the question that I asked myself.

And the answer came through, step by step, and that is the punchline approach. So that’s the book that I wrote, and that book is the process of how to create change and transformation. So, I’ve been trained in cognitive behavior therapy and the mindset model. You know your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings compel you to move into action, which therefore gives you your results. So, I’ve been trained in that for over 20 years with that.

That was like my Louise Haye mentoring days, way before I ever knew what coaching was, and so the concept made sense. And then I found the Life Coach School in Brooke Castillo at the end of my healing journey. So, I was already a massage therapist, I was already a health coach. I was doing hypnosis on clients to help them coach the subconscious, like the emotional traumas and stuff that were embedded in the systems of the body. I was doing some craniosacral and energy work.

I was a yoga and meditation teacher and so I was kind of in the mix of all of that when I saw the theme.

But when I found that podcast and that coach and that school of thought, I really loved what she was talking about and also the people that she was attracting, and I wanted to be a part of that community. So, I joined first as a student and I was going to events like every quarter where we were doing these coaching events Super fun, helpful. I loved being around those people and many of you who are listening right now, because we have developed relationships and we are still in relationships.

Some have become my clients, some have become my peers and others are actually my partners in crime, like in doing this work. So, I loved the understanding of mindset and the awareness that he gave me and the grounding, but I also saw that there was More Than Mindset. So, if the model could help me get to this tool, this awareness state like, oh, I can see my thoughts create my feelings and then my actions.

But then there was this little error, what about the feelings that just show up that weren’t led by thought? I get asked that a lot and I asked that too. And so, here’s the thing we have thoughts moving through our mind all the time and we have sensation moving through our body all the time, and so sometimes there is sensation leaving the body and so we feel something, and then the mind wonders why it feels that way. Right, the mind’s wondering why do we feel that way?

And then there is a thought. So, I’m actually not on the team. Thoughts always create emotions. I’m not there, I’m both. I’m like right in the middle of the road and I can see how both of those are true. So, I believe that thoughts or words or sentences in your mind period, period, thoughts actually have no power unless you believe them. And if you believe them, then there will be a sensation or a feeling that matches that belief, and that’s where the entrapment or the entanglement happens.

And my style of coaching is about going beyond the mind and untangling the unsaid thought, and so that’s what I have been doing in these practice sessions. They are focused on. Most of them are coaches from that school of thought, so they’re really trying to master this mindset model and I love that because I do believe it is the foundation. But then there’s more.

So, to be able to help them get that foundation so that they can get coaching out into the world in a way of integrity and authority, then I’m excited and I’m all in. It feels like I get paid just for helping, because it’s going to improve my world that I live in, that my kids and grandkids live in. So, let’s get to what is coaching.

So now that I think I hope I’ve laid the foundation, that understanding or that school of thought that has been around forever, I could actually I won’t, I could actually lead you to some of these very, very, very old texts that are saying the same exact thing. Brooke found a way to put it in this CTFAR model that made sense, so that she could train other people to use it.

I love that I love the awareness. I believe we need the awareness and I actually think that the awareness is the killer. But here’s the problem the mindset model does not teach you how to help your clients change habits and behavior. It only shows you what’s creating it. So, it falls flat at one point. But you still have to get that foundation.

So, I actually teach my clients a foundation of mindset first before I’m teaching them the advanced self-healing model or the mind-body coaching. So, before I’m even training them, I’m making sure that they have that understanding.

So let me just make sure that you have it. Are you aware that thoughts, unconscious and conscious, are leading your life, that you believe the thoughts that are running through your head? And very often that creates a sensation in the body and the sensation compels you to take action. So, here’s an example I don’t feel like exercising, right, feel. You said feel not I don’t think like exercising. 

Your thought is I don’t feel like exercising. But you’re actually describing the feeling when you are in a good and happy and energetic mood. You say I feel like going for a run. I feel like going to the gym. Right, I feel like going shopping. You don’t say I think like going shopping, I feel like. So, the feeling is actually the powerhouse that’s compelling the action and the coaching that I do.

Integrative Mind-Body Coaching is really about integrating and understanding emotions, emotional processing, the emotional body and also emotional regulation. So how do we regulate those sensations and then get our mind on board, our thoughts on board and then those in alignment, and then we’re taking action, doing the thing that we want to do? Can you see the difference between just knowing what the thought is or just processing the emotion?

It’s how do you bring those together to bridge the gap between the old habit and behavior and the new habit and behavior that you want to start? Okay, let me tell you what I’m just where. I’m not going over 30 minutes here. So let me tell you what I think coaching is, or what it has been in my experience.

It is like a 360 view of the entirety of what is happening in our neurology. So, neurology being the whole human being mind, body, soul. So, you have a physical body, you have thoughts, you have an emotional body and then you have a soul like or use. Some people say soul, some people say spirit, some people say spirituality, whatever. But there is something, there is a greater being orchestrating this thing. Would you agree? Drive in this vehicle?

So, the whenever I’m talking about neurology, I’m talking about the whole, the aura, the energy that people feel from you, the thoughts that create your perception, as well as the feeling that is compelling, leading in, guiding you into action, or in action Because you don’t know this. That’s the reason why most people are not taking action, because they don’t understand that 360 that holds us.

So, what a coach can do, imagine it was a basketball coach. The five players are out playing against the other five players and because you’re in the game, like you’re in the fight and you’re actually your, your nervous system is involved in that, because you see things happening and then the body is going through these sensations and then you lose access to the front of cortex to make a decision.

But the coach can see everything that’s happening, but because you’re in it, you’re in the trenches you don’t necessarily see it because you are combating all of these emotions and all of these thoughts that are happening, so you don’t have that clear vision the way someone on the outside does. It’s a different perception. So, the beauty of having a coach is we can see where you get misdirected, we can see where the emotions or misguiding are. We can see the themes and patterns that you think are truth, and that’s the beauty of having a coach.

So, what I’ve been doing is helping these coaches understand it on a deeper level. Not just your thoughts create your feelings that make you what you are Like. I’m like bullshit.

That’s great and it is effective, but it is not everything, and what I see many of these coaches do is gaslight their clients to want to agree with them, but they actually don’t understand the concepts, so they’re not able to get the client on board.

And so, instead of them being on the same team like the coach and the players being on the same team, you have resistance, you have distrust and you have misunderstanding, and very often that is because the coach has not taken personal responsibility for that 360 view, for being able to explain it on the client’s terms.

So, they now have this new awareness and they just, kind of like, use it against the client instead of actually getting on the same team with the client first, so that their neurology matches your neurology, so that they relax, so that they trust you, so that they’re open and willing. Does that make sense? So, instead of this right or wrong mentality, these good or bad, bad thoughts, good thoughts, bullshit thoughts are just thoughts. They’re just thoughts.

Now, thoughts become things if you think the thought and then you say it and then you become it. But the thought itself is just a sentence in your head period. The sensation in the body, the feeling, the sensation it could be coming from something of the past, so you can’t trust it.

So very often what’s flared up in our body, the sensation that we’re feeling, is not in real time. It’s being triggered by a memory of something in the past and because you feel it now, you think it’s in real time. And if you don’t understand that as a coach, how are you going to help your client understand that? Because you are going to trigger them.

Also, I like to tell my clients when they come in, raise your right hand. When I get triggered, when I want to escape, when I start judging myself and you and my peers, I swear I will raise my hand for coaching instead of falling into the old habits and behaviors and tucking away and then judging myself and then quitting on myself. I tell them it’s going to be hard.

You’re going to face some things that you have not been able to face on your own, and that’s the trickery of humanity. It’s very, very tricky to be in relationship with yourself, to be in relationship with a higher power, to be in relationship with other humans, to be in relationship with authority, with a boss, with a coach, all of it, and that is because it triggers the childhood wounds.

Now, once we can see that those wounds just are, it was just misunderstanding or misconception, or maybe whoever was in the situation with you didn’t have the awareness themselves. So we don’t go into blame, we go into understanding and that’s going to get you out of victim mode, because there is really nowhere up to go, like when you’re in victim mode, when you believe that everything has happened to you, that people have wronged you, that it needs to be corrected.

Guys, that is like the swamp. What you can do is take personal responsibility for understanding your humanness, because it is the human condition to judge, to compare, to compete. And once you understand that and you don’t make it wrong or bad, you actually just understand it and you’re willing to continue to take steps forward as the identity that you want to be, and you don’t allow these old stories and wounds and harming to affect you. So, it’s not easy. It was not easy. It’s still not easy.

I still experience some of the crappy thoughts that my mind tells me, and I sometimes still believe them. But I’ve learned a few tricks of the trade so that I can help myself when I’m in those moments and so that I can be more open and receptive when I am going to a coach or a mentor or a friend or a peer, someone to help me to see it. But I wasn’t always that way. I was closed off, I was judgmental, and I was protective, and that prevented me from knowing something else.

And so, I’m just going to ask you would you rather be right according to your standards, or would you rather be happy and free? Because that’s what happens when you think you’re right and you hold on to some of those beliefs that are not serving you. You actually chain yourself up, and we maybe don’t have a lot of evidence to trust others, so I can see how it happens. So, it’s not about blaming yourself, it’s about seeing it differently.

So, my question is, are you a coach? Would you like to coach yourself? Would you like to understand more about coaching, to help you, to help your family, to help your loved ones and maybe to be of service to other people? Do you consider yourself a master of coaching?

Just would like to know where my audience is. Would you be interested in wanting to know more about coaching for yourself and your loved ones and maybe, maybe, for a business?

So, there’s a difference between what I can teach you about mastering mindset and really understanding the way you function as a human and teaching you about the emotional body, which is controlling your life, which you actually know very, very little about and our medical community knows very little about.

That’s how I learned is through 24 years of diagnosis and medications and surgeries, and then realizing I just had an emotional problem. I actually did not have a physical problem.

It was physically manifesting in my body, but the root, the thing that needed to be unrooted, were the beliefs and the feelings and sensations that were not processed, that were imprinted in the cells of my system.

And once I understood that I just swore I would teach it forever, which I love doing. So, I have a high respect for the coaching industry, and I’ve taken it upon myself to just make it my duty to help more coaches. I have not charged a penny for any of this stuff. They have been coming and practice coaching, getting feedback, learning from sitting in the audience, and I’ve gotten amazing response from it. I want to do more of it. It is actually leading me in, leading into something that I want to offer in the future.

So, I am loving the feedback and I’m loving what I’m hearing. So, I know how to address some of these problems, and I could also see where the misinformation is or where the lack of education is. So, it’s been really helpful for that.

So, coaching is a 360 view of everything that is going on the way that you think about people around you and yourself, the way you think about the world, the way you think about God or source or religion. Also in that 360, it’s the way that you feel the sensations that move through your body. Whether you’ve closed them off or not, they are still there.

They’re still sensation. It’s a chemical response from a belief or a thought, and the last part of that is so you can see what you’re thinking, you can see what you’re feeling.

You have that awareness, and you can take full responsibility for everything that has happened and will happen, because you have the awareness, and you have the correct information, and you understand the human condition.

I’m not going to say you have the user’s manual, but the self-healing model and the advanced coach training actually gives you a manual for how to integrate and implement this in your life. So, I will kind of claim and not claim disclaimer you will have a manual for how the most powerful organ in your body works.

How does the brain function and why? Why do I keep repeating these patterns and stories? What does that have to do with my brain? What does that have to do with my mind? What does that have to do with my body and my physical condition and my bank account and my relationships and my career and my happiness and joy in the world?

What does that have to do with my frustration? What does that have to do with me attaining my dreams and desires? So, listen, I’m going to keep talking about this, but I would love to hear your feedback. So, I’m asking for something to respond to.

Would you be interested in learning more? If I did a mindset marathon, where we just take people, bunches and bunches and bunches of cases of people, and I just help you get really clear and start factuating and really understanding what’s going on, would you be interested?

Would you attend? Would you come into the audience? Would you be a participant? Would you be willing to have your head examined, your mind and your thoughts examined in order for you to have clarity of what is stopping you?

Would you be interested, if you were a coach, to watch this in action so that you can take away some of these tips and processes, so that you can go and try it on your own clients and yourself?

Would you be interested in attending, in giving feedback and engaging? Because what I don’t want to do is go and create one more crowd that doesn’t engage. That is not fun. I’m not doing anything else. That’s not fun. If you guys remember that from 30 years ago, put my hand down. I looked up and I was like not doing anything else.

That’s not fun, that’s over. So, it is not fun to speak at you. It is fun to engage with you, because that is where that unveiling, that processing, that detangling happens in conversation. It doesn’t happen in information. So, I don’t really want to speak at you.

I wrote a book. I have a podcast. This thing’s been running for four years. We have a free Facebook group. I post something on social media almost every day. I have a YouTube channel. There’s plenty of content.

I want engagement and transformation and I want to create a movement from this marathon, this mindset marathon, this mastering your mind. I would like to create a movement so that we can impact people around us, in our world, so that very selfish reasons that we can have a more functioning world and people around us.

My agenda, my mission, my drive, everything that pushes me forward, is about my craving for more high-minded conversations and for a place for my children to go, where they can continue to learn and be challenged in a positive way, and so this would help me get that movement and mission going.

But, if you’re not interested and there’s not anything for me to respond to, then I’m just going to take out my map and I’m going to find somewhere else to travel to and I’ll just keep showing up here and talking about it.

So, if you know someone who could benefit from hearing this, please share it. Share it on social media. Help me grow it. We’re right at 100,000 downloads and I would like it to get into the hands of more people, and I’d like to see the More Than Mindset Facebook group grow.

It is a free group that you can invite your family and friends and come and hang out and we do some live calls, we do some challenges and it’s the place where you can find out about the schedule and maybe attend some of the live events.

Meet the other coaches. I have trained quite a few coaches, over 50 coaches, in the Advanced Mind-Body Coach Training and you can come over there and meet them. I’m going to be the coach to work with you.

All right, have an amazing week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.