This work is built on what I have learned over the last 30 years, from my own life as well as some incredible teachers, on how our thoughts contribute to our physical wellbeing as well as our mental state.
Join me on the podcast this week and discover how to analyze the thoughts that come up for you in your life and whether you’re letting your brain lull you into a place of familiarity and comfort by believing the things you’ve been telling yourself for years. The best bit is, after uncovering these thought patterns, you can begin to change them and, in turn, change your happiness, health, and your whole life.
Welcome to Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners, the only podcast that can help YOU help more people, create a greater impact, and make more money in the health and wellness industry. Join Master Clarity and Confidence Coach, Kim Guillory, as she teaches you how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started…
Hey guys, welcome back to the show. I am done with Disney and I’m done with my business travel for a while. I’m home for – I think I’m here for three weeks and taking a short trip to Houston to see Eckhart Tolle; so exciting. I am an Eckhart fan. And then I have a little fun trip in Pittsburg, and then I’ll be home again for a little while.
So you’ll be catching these podcasts kind of batched in, but here’s the fun part; I have been having interviews and consultations with guests that are coming on the show, so we’ve got that all lined up for you, as well as success stories, people who have overcome chronic pain and physical conditions. This is something that we’re going to start bringing in actually with this episode.
So, I am all up in my jam. This is what the podcast was intended for. This is what I wanted to share, to get the word out and the message just talking about feelings and pain and dis-ease in the body, how it shows up, where it comes from. And that’s what today’s foundational episode will be about. I’m going to bring it in really light end gentle. I’m laughing about that because I tend to just dive in and assume that everyone knows what I’m talking about, and then come to find out they think I am a unicorn, because it’s a little farfetched compared to the normal conversation.
But in my world, this is the normal conversation. This is what I have been experiencing in my work, in my personal life, amongst family and friends for over 20 years. It’s been proven time and time again. So I’m excited to introduce it to you.
Before I get started, I have a little tiny announcement. In case you haven’t heard, we’re doing a giveaway. So, I have a $100 spa gift certificate to give away. And all you have to do is subscribe to the podcast, rate and review. Of course, we want an amazing review and five-star rating, right, and I have three of these to give away. So what I’ll do is we will pick one of the reviews and read it on the show and announce the name, and wherever you live, you will find your favorite massage therapist or spa near you, send me the information, and I will get the gift certificate to you to go there. So this is going to be really fun.
I thought of doing one big prize, and then I was like – I did a little poll on Facebook and asked the listeners what they would prefer, and it’s just this way we have three winners and it makes it kind of fun. And we’ll get to share some of the reviews that come in on the show. So I’m excited about that. Make sure you participate because this is really what helps the show to reach more people – more people like you, you know, someone that’s going to be interested in learning more about themselves and improving their life and their health.
Alright, so with no further ado, let’s start the conversation about feelings, pain, dis-ease, discomfort, and all of this stuff that shows up in your health and your life, in your relationships. And what I want to talk about is how the mind works and how the mind affects everything.
So, one thing is, the mind does exactly what it thinks you want. Number two is it creates the words and pictures, so it responds to the words and pictures that you place, so the things that you think and see. And the third thing, the mind always drives towards the familiar and away from the unfamiliar. And number four, it does everything to keep you alive, away from pain, and safe.
So I wanted just to leave those here because it does bridge into the conversation that I’m going to bring up here. This is a book that I read quite a few years ago, and the title has always stuck with me. It’s called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. And the Author is Karol Truman, for those who want to look it up. We’ll have it in the show notes also.
This has made so much sense to me because it was confirming what I was witnessing, not just in my life and in my own body, but what I was seeing in my clients. And so, we say feeling buried alive never die, they show up physically. This is how our body speaks to us. The language of the body is through feelings.
And actually, the thoughts are the language of the bran, if you wanted to kind of connect these two right here. But really, what I want to talk about is the language of the body is done through feelings. And because we weren’t taught how to process sour emotions or our feelings, we weren’t taught how to deal with what was unfamiliar, what was uncomfortable, that we buried it. But yet, they never really die. They just show up somewhere else later on.
So that’s one point that I really want to drive in through this entire podcast, and on podcasts coming after this one. The second thing is, your body believes everything you tell it, so it’s really important to be impeccable with your words, to listen to how you speak about yourself to yourself, you know, being careful about words like feeling fat or floppy or hate the way this looks or does. You’ve got to be really careful. Your mind is highly suggestible and it listens to everything you’re saying, and your body is a direct reflection of what you tell yourself.
I’m speaking really clearly and really slowly because I want to drive all of these points in. I’m going to talk about them over and over, but if you can really take some time to allow your brain to receive some of this information. Try not to argue with it just yet. Give it some time to soak in. So, your body believes everything you tell it, so be very careful with what you say.
Even though you think it’s – so what we do is we might say things just to make other people feel comfortable or for them not to feel so bad. We don’t even realize we say it. It’s all this unconscious conversation and carelessness. But it’s very important because there is a part of us that’s paying attention to all of this.
So the third thing I want to bring up is the signs will just get louder and louder. So the signs that your body is giving off, the messages that you’re hearing, which is the pain, the illness, the dis-ease, the discomfort, the chronic stuff, these conditions that don’t quite have a treatment. There’s like a vague understanding of what they are, those are physical manifestations of mental and emotional states or statuses or your mental and emotional self. The way you think, the way you feel, the way you believe are the things that you bring into your life. You attract them into your life.
And I want to be very careful with this because I’ve heard people say before, and get kind of defensive about it, like, “Oh, you’re saying I caused this cancer in my body.” I want to be really careful with my words and I want to drive the point in, get it across, and bring some awareness, but this has nothing to do with blame or anything to get defensive about, right? It’s just a concept. It’s an understanding of how the mind works and how the things that we put into our mind reflect in our life. So, into our mind, into our body, the way we think, the way we eat, the way we show up, the things that we say have a direct impact on your health, on your relationships, your finances, and just your life in general, your moods, how you feel, how you dictate how your day is going to be according to what you think.
So, this is the easiest way for me to explain it is there’s circumstances in all of our lives, just things that happen. Your circumstance could be a 40-hour week job or your circumstance could be you have five kids, or your circumstance could be you’re married. That is neutral. But what you think about your circumstance is not neutral. That is your belief. It’s your perception or your interpretation of how you feel about the circumstance.
So, let’s just use one thing for an example and let’s just say 40 hour a week job. So you have a job, and your thought is, “I hate my job, I’m bored and tired and it doesn’t pay enough money.” Those are your thoughts. Someone else could have the same exact job and think, “I love my job. It’s amazing. I love the time away from whatever my home chores or duties are.” Maybe they’re a stay at home empty-nester and having a job gives them satisfaction and fulfillment and it’s fun to get away and have something productive to do and then be able to contribute to the finances at home, right?
So that’s two different thoughts, same exact circumstance. The circumstance is the 40 hour a week job, but it depends on the person who’s going to work at that job and what they think about it. So here’s the catcher; the person that thinks, “I love my job, it’s so fun and satisfying and fulfilling and it’s such a great way for me to contribute to the finances in my household…” how do you think they feel when they think that thought?
They may feel joyful, they may feel happy, they may feel successful. Now, think about the person who just hates the job and they’re bored and unsatisfied and they think it doesn’t pay enough money. What do you think they feel? They probably feel taken advantage of or they feel like entitled or they feel discontent, unsatisfied. So I want to stick with both of these. I want to use them side by side.
So, let’s go back to the person who is happy and joyful. What’s the actions that you think she’s taking when she’s joyful and happy? She likely shows up and does a really good job, puts all of her effort and energy and attention in, and then the result she gets is she has a very satisfying job, life, money in the bank, she feels really good.
But then, if you go back to the other circumstance of the one who hates her job and she feels entitled to, like, less hours and more money, then what do you think are the actions that she’s going to take? Shop up with what we call a bobbin, which is like a hanging lip, kind of disgruntled and unsatisfied and complaining. And then what’s the results that you think she’s going to get? She’s going to continue not just hating her job but maybe hating her life or her time which she’s putting forth and complaining about not having enough money.
And what happens is what we believe is what we create. But a belief is a thought, thought over and over again, until it’s locked into our story, into our belief. And so whatever we are thinking about our circumstance is what we are creating more of. And this is something we need to be really careful about because we truly can affect our health. We can affect our relationships and our household, how our workday goes, the other people that are in our environment. And then, depending on how you feel, it even has something to do with what you eat and how you move your body and if you’re going to just have a pouty grouchy day or if you’re going to feel energetic and happy and alive.
So what you think is everything. It’s everything. It’s being very careful about what you tell yourself, what you tell your mind. So I’ll go back just to review your first four. Your mind does everything it thinks you want. So when you’re complaining and when you’re griping, your mind is hearing that and is giving more of that. And then it responds to the words and the pictures that you are painting. And so, when you’re complaining about the job and the dissatisfaction and you’re painting those pictures of how miserable you are, it’s just responding to more of that.
And then it’s always going to drive towards what’s familiar and not unfamiliar, which is going to keep you in the same rut, keep you doing the same thing, because that’s comfortable, even though it’s miserable, even though it’s unsatisfying. It’s comfortable, it’s familiar and your brain’s job is to keep you alive, to keep you safe, to keep you away from pain.
And so, think of the mind as this entity that it’s thinking, like, things have to stay this way because we know what to expect tomorrow, but if we change things then it’s going to be unfamiliar and that could cause pain. That could cause insecurity or unsafety. So, this is how thoughts and belief systems and programs get caught in people’s lives. Like, we say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, when you see people come out of an environment or a household and do the same exact thing even though they could have had opportunity to do things better, it’s because it’s a habit. That behavior, doing it and seeing it, and I call it being hypnotized by it, because however we come into the world – you imagine a baby being nine months old or two years old sitting in a car seat in the car and the mom and dad are arguing and fighting and saying terrible things, the brain is absorbing all of that information in the environment.
Believe it or not, we are hypnotized up until seven to nine years old. Bruce Lipton says this in Biology of Belief if you want a reference for it. And you can find this on YouTube, you can find this in his books. At the last trimester of pregnancy as we begin to hear and we begin to take in the environment, and then it goes all the way up until the age of seven years old, we are hypnotized to believe the way we were taught, the things that we heard, the things that we felt become the things that we know, the things that are familiar.
So you’ll see people in abusive relationships stay in them and they are, like even with being overweight and trying to break away from the sugar addiction or the coke addiction or whatever it is. It’s so familiar that the brain keeps it locked in. That
So where you’ll see the self-sabotage and the continued behavior, the habits just over and over and over until that neural pathways just so deeply dug that it becomes a rut. And it takes work to fill that rut in with new thoughts, new words, new perceptions, new pictures. And you have to create the new story because the mind does what it thinks you want, so you’ve got to create the new story that you want.
So, I call this – I use a couple of little catchphrases, so it’s pulling weeds and planting seeds, or we have to see it to lift it to shift it. So it’s an awareness. The first step is always presence and awareness and remembering that everything you put in your mind results in your life.
So, we’ll go back to the feelings, or the unfelt feelings or un-dealt-with feelings eventually become the pain, the dis-ease, and the illness in your body. And what happens if you ignore it, the signs just get louder and louder and it might go from a pain to a disorder to a dis-ease. So, the signs, imagine it’s just like a little knock on the door, and then you don’t pay attention to it, it gets a little bit louder, and then you don’t pay attention to it, it gets a little bit louder, and it just continues until eventually the pain is so intense that you’ll find yourself drop to your knees on the floor, can’t get out of the bed, can’t sit, you know, however it chooses to show up, it will just get louder and louder.
Now, if you believe that you’re being punished and you believe this is happening to you, then you’re going to interpret that into a way that creates more of that. But I’m going to offer you a new way to think about it. So, it could be happening for you. It could be a gift for you, a wakeup call, the awareness so that you can do something differently, awareness and presence so that you can change the behavior, change the environment, change the way you think, change the way you show up and we can just turn that around.
So, I remember this was like a lot of years ago when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and the rheumatologist told me, and I may have told this story on the first podcast, but I’ll repeat it here, told me that it was a behavior of condition. I could totally turn it around, that it came from the lack of self-care and from people-pleasing and not having boundaries and codependency behavior and just always overdoing, over-giving, people-pleasing, trying to find worth and value in services and not taking responsibility for caring for my own body and my own life, like drinking water, eating healthy food, moving my body, getting adequate sleep, just basic self-care.
But sometimes we get so caught up in the people-pleasing story and what we do for affection or what we do for acceptance – and this could have started early on as a kid trying to get approval from mommy and daddy or from a sister or whatever it is, it’s really not about labels, it’s really just an awareness of, “Oh yeah, I never realized that I did that. The reason I’m such a people-people pleaser today is I remember in first grade I always wanted to be the one who made the great grades and I wanted my teacher’s attention…” and just start playing back thoughts in your mind, because that personality type is what actually ends up with this manifesting in their life.
So it’s something just to be aware of if you suffer with chronic pain, or for you massage therapists, yoga teachers, health practitioners, your clients or patients that are dealing with – if they’re coming in with chronic pain or with adrenal fatigue or chronic fatigue or Hashimoto’s or these conditions – I don’t want to make this sound like it’s a blame or anything like that, but it’s really just a lack of awareness of just practical self-care and responsibility and getting so caught in the loop that when the body starts responding or reacting then you kind of can’t sleep or you can’t move or you can’t eat right. And so it becomes this sort of triangle where at first it started off with one intention, but then, as the physical conditions increase, then you don’t sleep as well, then you don’t move as well, then it’s harder to get motivated to move more and to care more.
Actually, I remember being caught in that. And so it’s a matter of, “Oh I recognize this. I can change this.” And then we just stop for a moment. And you don’t have to be in a hurry to get out of it, just stop and recognize it, take a couple of deep breaths. We have a meditation on the website if you go to kimguillory.com there is a meditation. I think it’s like a 20-minute meditation. Use it every single day just to get you grounded and get you quietly to come back into your body and to release some of this stuff that’s going on in your thoughts and it brings you just back into presence.
Give yourself a moment, come back into presence, becoming aware, and then we want to unveil the story, looking at the things that we tell our self, the pictures and the words that we paint, the beliefs. Think about the generational patterns, just how you were raised or what kind of environment you were in, what were the beliefs, you’ve got to work really hard, you should never let anyone down, you should always give over and beyond, those are beliefs.
They’re also old programs. It’s the way things were done and you just kind of adopted it and took it into your life. And it’s not necessarily working for you, but your mind doesn’t want to try something new because it’s unfamiliar. Do you see how they all just keep repeating and playing back into each other?
So I want to help you to reverse this. So we’re going to be bringing up a lot of conversations around this. I’m going to being guests on who’ve actually overcome some of these stories and have improved their life on all levels. We have practitioners who are helping clients and patients work through this stuff. I’m going to bring in a couple of other concepts form some of my teachers that I have trained with in different theories. It’s not just one.
Today, in particular, I’m talking about Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, and also the work of Louise Hey so you can read any of those, or just Google them. This information is everywhere. It’s just maybe it wasn’t in your awareness because you didn’t realize that it pertained to you in particular.
Alright, so we’ll talk more about this next week. I hope it was helpful and it was clear. Make sure and give us a rating and review, tell us if you want to hear more about this. I’m excited to hear back from you guys and kind of start making this shift, bringing this mind-body awareness, or I call it mind-body connection or mind-body integration. And we’re going to talk more about how you can process those feelings and those emotions so that we don’t have to deal with this part, the part where I say feelings buried alive never die.
I will teach you exactly how to process them, so they can integrate and you can embody and move on and those feelings will have been processed. So, that’s just some techniques that we’ll be bringing along the way, trying to keep things really simple and trying not to get bogged down on any particular episode but let them just flow into each other and give you enough to think about where you can start making some subtle shifts.
Just so you know, I’ve been working on this stuff for 30 years, even my teenage years I was aware of this. It’s just something that’s in my inner knowing, my sense of knowing, and I didn’t realize until after I was an adult that it was actually, I’m going to say, a gift that I just recognized this and didn’t realize that there was so many other teachers and doctors and leaders that were also doing the work at the same time. And now it’s just all come together for me and integrated on a way of experiencing it in a way that I can teach it, articulate it, and also teach other leaders how to use this exact process and help more people create a bigger impact and bring it into their business in such a way that, instead of prescribing things for the symptoms, that we actually work at removing the root cause. Alright, until next week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today.