Ep #15: Transforming Your Scarcity Mindset

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Hey there. Welcome back. This show is going to be about scarcity, about showing up, about being willing to even consider the possibility that there could be more, and that it could be available for you. So first let me just tell a little story because you know I’m all into beliefs and us creating whatever it is in our life that we truly want, that we could have.

We get to create the results in our life. This is so counterintuitive or it’s just not what we’ve been taught. But I’ve been doing this for a while now, and I’m telling you, it is the truth. I want to say what we’ve been taught has like, really kept us back from creating the things that we want because we’ve been taught to believe that we can’t have them.

So I’m actually recording this in the middle of a softball game. So my granddaughters, they actually played against each other this morning, so their teams played and you know, my son was riding with me. My older son, who’s 23 years old, and he’s always laughing at me and on the way there, we were listening to Bruce Lipton’s Biology of Belief and talking about this exact same thing, how our beliefs create our results.

And he’s always laughing at me. He says, “Well, if that’s what you believe,” and he catches me sometimes saying things that are probably not in my favor and he’s like, “Well, that’s what you believe.” And this is just like, a little family joke. So I’m always telling the kids this with hitting the ball also.

What you’re thinking when you’re up there to bat, what you’re thinking is going to happen, what you’re afraid of or what you’re feeling in your body, what’s creates the results when the bat hits or doesn’t hit the ball, and where does that go. So coincidentally, we’re listening to this all the way there and the end of the ballgame, my older granddaughter – so the two that are playing against each other in two different teams, hits a walk-off. Grand slam over the fence, amazing, just like poof. So fun.

It is the practice of beliefs in action. Like, the real deal. So it just kind of drove it in and reinforced it. She was talking smack. We had a family gathering last night because we had an eight-grader graduate and a kindergartener graduate, so it was really fun to play that celebratory smack, where they knew they were going to play each other and it was like, yeah, whatever, we got that and you’re going to see.

And she totally did it. She believed it, she felt it, she was confident about it, and she showed it. The results showed up because the belief was there, the feeling was there. She had all layers and levels of it. So anyway, that’s going to lead into today’s story, but I just wanted to share that with you because it’s so still active. It just happened like, an hour ago.

Anyway, let’s talk about scarcity and what is scarcity. Scarcity is a state of scarce or short supply. It’s like there are these limitations, things are limited, they’re not available, there’s fewer resources than needed to feel the human wants and needs kind of thing. So it’s like scarcity is there’s not going to be enough, we’re going to run out of time, and it’s on all levels.

It’s not just money, but it’s actually in love, in relationships, in items that you purchase. Even marketing is tailored around scarcity like the way that we’ve been taught about doing without or the risk of not having when we need, that kind of thing. So when we see it in relationships, it’s like there’s – I can’t have what I need, or this is going to fail me, they’re not going to show up, I’m going to be left, I’m going to be abandoned, I’m going to be rejected, I’ve got to be careful, I need to keep all of the chips in the game, make sure I’m doing all of the things in order to receive the needs or get my needs met.

So it’s like this constant pressure and push and the word I want to use is like, urgency or threat. Maybe it’s like a threat. Like if I don’t do all of the things, then I won’t get the thing that I need. So if they’re upset with me and then they hold back love, that is like emotional manipulation kind of stuff, and I can speak about this because I know it is so common, especially in relationships and lack of communication. It’s all run and driven by this scarcity.

What’s going to happen when he won’t be there for me or she won’t be there, or when this happens. So we keep doing the thing that we really don’t want to do because we’re afraid that we won’t have what it is that we need for our human needs and wants.

In finances you’ll see it in like, I need to take on this client or I need to keep doing this thing because it pays – that pays my car loan and this pays my rent and well, I don’t really want to do that anymore but I’m going to hold onto it because I don’t want to let go and then not have that. I’ve done this in the health, wellness, fitness, business, this whole entire time.

When we see that things are no longer working, our brain is like, oh no, we have to keep holding on, we can’t take a chance, we need to just keep trying to make this work because there’s a scarcity mentality. Like, well it’s better than nothing. Let’s just keep holding onto this and see how long we could play it out instead of just like yeah, we’re changing, we’re growing, we’re evolving and we’re ready to move into the new.

So buffets, all inclusive, all these kinds of memberships and stuff that we’ve been told before that we had to do in order to get the client, in order to get the sign ups or to get the money in, that we had to negotiate or I say, almost like an over-negotiate. Like, dilute and water down the offer and create more and more and more so that people buy instead of just trusting that the value and integrity of what you offer, being high quality and being willing to maybe have less people but more quality.

Not just in what you offer but in the results that they receive. So this is something that’s pretty common when we’re talking finances and business, and it’s all run and driven by scarcity, which is fear. Fear that there won’t be enough, fear that I won’t get my needs met, or my wants fixed kind of thing. And I must settle, I can’t do what I really want to do because there’s no enough people who will do that.

That’s all scarcity. And even in resources, like how much is going to be available, you’ll see this in marketing. Like, oh, limited time offer, only four left, get it now, never coming back again, this is the one and only time you can have this, deadlines. That is all about scarcity because think about what comes up in you when that – I’m going to call it a threat – when that threat is made or when that observation is stated.

Like hey, just to let you know, we’re at the end here, this is it, you’re going to be really sad if you miss this, you might not get it again. It may never come back. Or you want to be the first ones, you want to get this first. But can you feel that? It’s stemmed or it’s coming from fear.

You’re going to miss out. FOMO, right? Fear of missing out. You’re going to miss out, you’re not going to get it, you’re going to have regret. What else? I just kind of sit with that as I speak it and see if you can feel it come up in your body because what happens is there is a thought, I will not get my needs met, there won’t be enough, this is not going to be available for me, there’s a short supply. That’s the thought.

What’s the feeling that comes from that? Where do you feel it in your body? Take a moment because this goes back to the first step that we talked about last week. It’s the awareness, it’s the presence. If this thing is limited, if it’s not available, if there’s not enough, if time is running out. That’s pretty crappy, right?

So you can just start to recognize what is that feeling and what would you say it’s coming from? Is it the fear of regret of missing out? What’s the thing that comes up for you? I say most of the time it’s driven by fear. We’re taught this in the marketing world, which is brilliant because it works, I’m going to say that. Most humans can relate to this because we all have that programming of scarcity.

I just want to share with you when it shows up a different way to think about it so I can bring it to your awareness and maybe you have been doing things out of scarcity. So in the weight loss and wellness industry, it’s like oh, I need to eat this in case I won’t have it again. That particular kind of cheesecake or they made that special dip, I don’t know when I’ll have this again.

It’s like you remember chocolate covered cherries used to be available only at a certain time of the year and candy corn used to be available only at a certain time of the year but that’s not the case anymore. We don’t live that way, but we’ve been programmed to believe there’s a limit.

And so that’s again where the scarcity comes in. I must get it, I have to hurry up and buy it, I’m not going to get it again. It’s as if you could only get Red Hots during Valentine’s day. Not true. You can get it anytime you want. You can get it at any store you want, and if it’s not at Walmart or at Albertson’s or at the dollar store, I promise you can get it on Amazon.

Everything is available all the time. But you’ve been programmed to believe that it’s limited and that’s like, knocking on fear’s door and it’s the driving factor to the action that you take. I am afraid I won’t have it, I’m afraid it won’t be available, I’m afraid it won’t come back again, and so I must take action now so that I can have my needs and wants met.

Can you see that? That’s the whole process of how everything works in our life. Everything, everything, everything. We think about it, a feeling comes up, we take action according to the feeling, and because we took that action, we get such results. So let’s just take it to a real neutral circumstance with the food.

Like I won’t get this again, I need to eat as much of it as I can, I need to make sure I get my taste buds filled, I don’t want to crave it again or whatever and eat more than you need and what is the result that you get? It’s like oh, let me eat this because I may not have it again so I can feel that satisfaction, release that fear, and then the result you get is overeating.

And so it’s actually a result that you don’t even want and it came from fear. So taking it back to my business, we’ve had an all-inclusive where you could tan, you could get the fitness classes, and you can use the gym. So it was like a really great price and you got to do any of it any time you wanted and there were no limitations and everything was like, come and it’s free.

I say free for all like the menu is free for all. You pay one price, you get it all. We see this at buffets and it’s lower quality because it’s to fit the needs of the masses of people with a lot of variety to make sure – it actually makes the business not as valuable or the intention of the business not so clear and focused and specific.

And it used to work for me. I had five kids and we were on a limited budget and I was always thinking of how to save or what’s the best way to do this so I can get all of our needs met, because it was kind of tough doing it times seven. Five kids and two adults.

And I noticed that as an adult, when I no longer had – that circumstance was not even true anymore, I was still living according to the old program. So I was still buying the cheaper stuff and still trying to do it in bulk and still trying to get more is better. And as I was at the ballpark this morning, I’m hearing the same conversation happen with the person in front of me who’s paying to get into the ballpark.

And she was telling them you can get it at such and such, it’s only $1.49, I got five different flavors and you can get in. And I was like, oh my god. I just forgot that doesn’t even interest me anymore. But for a minute I was kind of curious like oh, what is she talking about, and then I had to remind myself and that is the gift of awareness. That’s the gift of presence.

It was like the old behavior, the old programs, the old temptation, the old neural pathway, the habits are like, oh, let’s get the bargain, let’s get the deal, let’s take advantage of it just in case there’s later going to be some sort of limitation and we won’t be able to get it or won’t be able to afford it or it won’t be available again.

So that is the scarcity mentality. There’s not enough, it’s not available, and those are all beliefs. And the beliefs came from thinking the thought over and over and over. So think about it from your life’s experience. When you were a kid, what did you learn from your parents, from your upbringing because these are generational patterns.

There’s limited beliefs. Like so as parents, we want to instill fear in our children. As adults, they’re having to pay for a life coach to get rid of the fear. It’s so crazy how we do this. But as parents, we don’t want them to dream too big, we don’t want them to get their hearts broken, we don’t want them to be disappointed, and even on the way to the ballpark, my son was saying something about buying a new truck next year and there was – for a minute, I wanted to say like, well, be careful because you’re making a lot of money right now and you don’t want to set – I was like, wow, it’s still there.

That old belief is still there, and he says, “Well, and then I was thinking it’s just money, I can make some more.” And I’m like yes, that’s the new bridge. And I noticed how much better our conversations are when I don’t react and try to instill the fear to keep him safe. And instead I allow him to have his own experience, which is of abundance. Not of scarcity. Isn’t that beautiful?

Just that awareness. So the thing is it’s coming from a lack of safety and instability. But it’s because we were taught it, because we saw it, because we experienced it and our parents, our grandparents, or people in our environment solidified it. They’re like, oh yeah, that’s true, this happened to so and so and this happened to so and so, and they’re doing this and they lost that and they went too fast, they went too big.

And so that sets our fear in our mindset. So it’s societal conditioning. The old stories of fear and doubt and not having. We think back to the great-great-grandparents who were at times in famine and there was not enough food and they needed – in order to work on the farms, they had all of these children and they had to feed them all and then they need to get the work so there was not enough help, there was not enough food, there was not enough resources, there was not enough money.

And those stories have been passed down and we own them, whether it’s on a cellular level or in a mindset level or because it was shared with us or because we experienced part of it from their story ourselves. So that is the scarcity mentality and where it comes from.

And so what I want to invite you to today is step to – last week we talked about presence, we talked about awareness, and that’s actually what I’m doing with you right now is I’m sharing stories and analogies. I’m sharing examples of just ways that we can interpret it in a different way for you to understand it.

So that’s why I’m going from finances to relationship to business to resources. It is on all levels. How we do anything is how we do everything. So when I tell stories that go into all of these different dynamics, it’s to show you an example of what I’m saying that if you believe it, you will believe it in every aspect of your life.

If you believe that there is not enough money, not enough clients, not enough resource, if you believe that it’s because of not enoughness of where you live or even the financial resourcing in your environment, like there’s not enough. There’s not enough people with enough money, then you will also believe that there’s not enough security and there’s not enough stability and there’s not enough love and you can’t trust enough, you can’t be yourself, you can’t let go.

It’s going to be on all levels. That’s why this scarcity mentality is so important to take a look at and pay attention to. All of this stuff I’m going to be bringing up and doing it as you start moving towards the belief boot camp. I will be sharing like, when and how that’s going to happen very soon. Just know that it’s on the way and you can start doing it – pay attention to dates and as it comes forward.

But for right now, I want to bring it to the awareness to as many people as possible before moving into the actual process. So just the awareness can start to bring the healing in your own life of scarcity, where it’s showing up in your life, and what you can start to do about it.

So the next step is to unveil, to pull the roots, to ask the question, is it true? Is it limited? Do I really need it right now? Will I miss out? What will I miss out on? What if I wait? What if I don’t? You’ll notice that most of the time they’ll come back around and make a final offer again because that’s marketing, and it’s knocking on the door of the fear.

The fear of missing out, the fear of not having enough, the fear of regret. All in all, it’s still fear. And what I teach and what the integrative life is all about is being in grace, being in belief, creating the results that you want and knowing that all of that is available within yourself. Not outside of yourself. So actually, there is no fear. There is no urgency. There is no certain thing outside of yourself, so you can relax and let go and ask the question, is it true?

Where did that come from? Why do I believe that? Start bringing it into your awareness. Like maybe for you, your parents were like, “Hey, money doesn’t grow on trees. You can’t just have what you want, that’s not for people like us.” I’ve said this before. This is something that was in my upbringing.

We didn’t have the resources, didn’t have the money, didn’t have the availability. Even the parenting and the love and the support and food and – all of that stuff, it was not available. And so my brain, my mind, I was hypnotized to believe that there was not going to be enough. There was not going to be enough love, there was not going to be attention, there was not going to be acknowledgment, there was not going to be food, it was not going to be safe.

I didn’t know if I was going to have a ride, I didn’t know when the next thing would come, I didn’t – and so that belief came from the thoughts that that little girl came to. That was her perception, that was her understanding and she didn’t know what to do with those emotions, with the fear and with the lack.

It was just like, this is how life is. There’s never enough. This will never be good for me. I can watch my neighbors get it, I can watch my friends get it because they have a mom and a dad, or because their parents have a great job or because they have that aunt that does it for them. Whatever it is, that is the perception that was created through my experience.

And that is for all of us. We all have a perception of how we see things, but it doesn’t make it true. It only makes it true to us. And that’s the edge that I want to push here. That’s the challenge that I want to bring up is I want you to start thinking inside of yourself and asking the question. Is it true? Who would I be without the thought?

This is Byron Katie’s work. Who would I be without that thought? If I didn’t think that way, how would I feel? And so it’s like, money doesn’t grow on trees. It’s like, is that true? And it’s like, well, kind of, unless you have an apple orchid, then that’s literally is the money because they sell them and they make money or whatever it is. But money dollar bills, no, it doesn’t grow on trees. That is true.

Where does money come from? Money comes in my belief in myself, in my ability. My ability to sell, my ability to share value, my ability to show up and put in the work, my ability to show up on time, do what the boss tells me, or for in your particular case, it’s like what is it that I’m offering clients and do I show up and offer value. What do they receive from me showing up? Is that worthy of a money exchange?

Because money is just energy, like my son was saying. Oh, I can just make more. Yeah, absolutely, because he’s been programmed to believe that that’s how it works because I programmed him that way when I found out about it. It’s kind of funny to watch it because actually, the first part of his life was opposite because that’s where I was.

It was not enough and we didn’t have it, I didn’t know how to make it, and I didn’t this it was available. And then once I started doing the work and getting coaching and developing and creating the skills that I needed, and then my coaching skills got better, and then I stepped into the belief and into the work and into the understanding, which is what I’m sharing with other leaders, I became the leader in my own business, in the work that I do.

I became the expert authority, I became the role model, I became the person who did it, and so now I can teach other people how to do it. So I’m watching how his program is changing, and it’s gone from scarcity to abundance mindset, that there’s always enough, that it’s always available for me. And of course, my needs are going to be met, of course my wants and desires are going to be met. Yes, I am safe. I am secure.

And what I want to do is invite you to the possibility that you are also safe and secure and that your needs will be met. That there is always, always availability but it comes from your belief in it. But here’s the thing; you can’t create and live and feel the new beliefs while the old root system is still thriving and still alive.

Because those old neural pathways, that unconscious belief is what’s running the show. Only 5% of it is from the logical mind, of the new thing, so it can’t just be that positive affirmations. You’ve actually got to do the work to bridge the two to create the new thought, the new way. Come into presence, realize it is available, and then the willingness to do the work to start unraveling, unveiling, falling apart, and yes, I did mean that because when you change your beliefs and you change the way you do things like I’m saying with the business and what I’m doing here is like, hey, we no longer have this all-inclusive membership.

Now we have specialty classes. You can come for six weeks and this is what it’s going to cost and this is what we’re going to specialize in and this is exactly what you’re going to get. So you can’t like, oh, I want this and this and this and this. It’s like, no, here’s the results we can offer you in six weeks, in 12 weeks, in 24 weeks. That’s what we do. That’s what we offer, and we’re super committed to it.

We want to offer high value, small groups. Quality. Quality over quantity. So it wasn’t doing any good to have 20 classes a week or 11 classes a week or just trying to be the buffet. I don’t even eat at buffets anymore. I want to go to the place who specializes in the food that I want to offer. I want the quality.

So changing from scarcity to abundance goes from that fear of missing out, not having enough, not being available, into everything is available, of course I qualify. I’m a human being, I have grace, I have skill, I can use grit, fortitude, I’m willing to do scary, uncomfortable things, I’m willing to unravel, I’m willing to fall apart. I’m willing to let go of who I was in order to become, in order to be, in order to tap into all of me. I’m willing to let go of what is not me.

And that is those old stories, the limiting beliefs, the generational patterns, the societal conditioning, the old story of fear and doubt and not enoughness. Now, I’m going to keep going into this and we’ll talk again about it next week because there is actually – you have to be able to receive more.

So it’s not – we see this with people who win the lottery. They don’t have the mentality and the understanding and so they hit this upper limit and they can’t receive that amount of money. We’ve seen this in the business. So for Mother’s Day every year we’ve given away a massage, and last year we were like, let’s just give away a huge package.

Let’s do massage, life coaching, yoga, fitness, let’s give them a whole three-month experience with a massage every month. It was like a package, a very expensive package. It was the craziest thing. Hardly anyone shared it or liked it. I was like, this is crazy.

We had 500 something shares on the massage alone. An $80 massage brought in over 500 shares over, I don’t know, it was 15,000 people who saw it. And when we gave the all-inclusive package that included a massage every single month, fitness classes, yoga, life coaching, the whole entire transformation package for 12 weeks, I don’t even know if we got five shares.

It was insane. So we talked about it again this year when we just did the giveaway again for Mother’s Day and we were like, it’s so weird that we can’t be generous. So I was talking to my coach about it and she was like, no, because they’re not able to receive so much abundance. I was like, oh. So the limited belief or the upper limit is I’m worthy of a massage. I’m worthy of winning a free massage, but I am not worthy of a 12-week full on transformation package.

Now, the only other thing we could come to is that they thought they would actually have to go workout. So maybe that’s why they didn’t want it. We played with all of the things why. We’ve done this actually for the last four years. We’ve tried it several different ways and it keeps happening. It keeps coming back to the same thing.

The simplicity of just a massage gets thousand-fold more shares, likes, than the whole entire package. So the votes are not all in on us figuring that part out, but it was very interesting to see the aspect of it about them not being willing to receive that at this point because the upper limit is like no way you can do that, no way you can use that or whatever.

But that comes down to our worthiness and our belief in ourselves and possibilities. So I invite you to consider the possibility, the willingness to believe that you are capable of receiving more and first and foremost is just the willingness to let go of the programming, of the scarcity, of what you’ve been told in the past in order to move into this moving forward into the future. More on that next week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today.