Ep #103: Trapped Emotions with Petra Adams

Welcome to More than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion, to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hey there and welcome back to the show. So I’m doing something a little different this week. I recorded a series of clients and coaches who were doing this integrative healing work, specifically integrative coaches trained in the PUNCH-Line Approach or our private clients who have done this work with me.

And I want to share some of these interviews with you here because I think they’re really important contributions to the world especially for people who are dealing with trauma from last year or even unresolved trauma from the past. Because that is really what we’re doing out in the world, our experience with resolving this within our bodies and really understanding the mind body connection and integrating it with coaching is what we do. And I think there’s a lot of people who still don’t know about this work.

So the first interview is with my friend and coach, Petra. We met out in the bayou a few years ago. And she became a private client and then instantly saw the impact that this work had on her life. And she felt like it’s something that she wanted to share with other people, it’s some of the work that she wanted to do. She brought it into the workplace, she is a corporate leader. And then she started bringing it to these other leaders who were having the same issues, just really wanting to do bigger things but were just kind of like stunted by the physical sensations that were occurring in their body.

So we’re talking about trapped emotions and also just the experience of the work that Petra and I did together and what she is offering in her own business. So you can find the link to contact her in the show notes below. And you can also find us in the More Than Mindset group where all of the coaches do videos, and calls, and we’re always sharing something. We’re doing a 30 day challenge right now and Petra is one of the contributors to that. So I hope you enjoy the show and let us know if you want to hear more of this. I have an actual – the whole entire series was 13 days long.

And so I’m going to be dropping these periodically. I really wanted to get this one to you. We’ve been planning to do an interview together and the time just hasn’t worked out. So let me just go ahead and get this one to you and then we can do a follow-up with any questions that you may have. I hope you enjoy.

                                                                                                                   

Kim: Hello, hello, and welcome to day two of the Believing Better series. Our special guest today is Petra. We have kind of a little fun story of how we met for you guys who are out there saying, “I don’t know where my ideal client is, you can actually find them in the bayou.”

So we’re going to tell a little bit about our meeting, and your story, and the things that changed for you, where you found yourself at. What position you were in according to your beliefs. And once you were able to see and change them, what we call see, lift and shift how did your life turn around, all the fun stuff?

Petra: Yeah. Hello everyone. It’s a pleasure for me to be on this series, the work Kim is doing and the PUNCH-Line Approach is really profound. And it helped me to elevate my life, definitely. It was a great and still is a great experience for me. I am originally from Czech Republic and I moved to US to Louisiana where Kim is living three years ago. And I did a lot of self-development work at home in Czech, so I have over 10 years of self-development work through different therapies like tapping, EFT, soul integration and things like that.

And I did a little bit of coaching but I was here in Louisiana and here in the area people are not really into self-healing, personal development much. Or I haven’t met them. I haven’t been lucky to meet those kind of people. And when I was looking, people were either sending me to a church or to a counselor and this is not really what I was looking for. And I was just hanging around by myself. And one day I decided to go on a kayak trip in the bayou. And I went by myself and we were introduced.

I remember now standing on the parking lot, it was like, “Hey, just go around and introduce each other.” And Kim was standing there so she said, “Hey, I am a yoga teacher and life coach and I am from Pineville.” And I was like, “Hey, yeah.” We were supposed to go share driving to the launch. And I was like, “Can I drive with you? Can I go with you please?” So I kind of sneaked in her car. And it was a long drive. It was like one hour drive. So we talked and then we ended up on the kayak together.

Kim: Thank God we ended up on the kayak together because I’d probably still be sitting on the bayou trying to get out.

Petra: Yeah. I found out we were going backwards and Kim was taking pictures like, “Hi, I’m doing this.” And it was such a strong wind that the kayak was going backwards if one stopped pedaling. It was fun. It was really fun.

Kim: I have no idea how to kayak.

Petra: I wouldn’t say that, I was in a down, down. But emotionally I was down because I moved to US to kind of find myself, it was the main purpose for me. It was as well a career move. I am working for an international company. I took it because for me it was a great way to be myself. We are stuck in those patterns of expectations and from family as well, social norms of the country we were living at and definitely work. I was working in that time for seven years in the same company and I was not the same person.

Like Linda was saying yesterday, I was working on myself hard. But the people still saw me as that person who was hired at some way, like really hard to progress in their eyes. I was changing. I was working on myself, I was progressing. I was getting results but it was not really seen as I would wish it would. But it was in some way because I got here in US, so it was awesome. And I could start like fresh start because no one knew me here. I knew one person briefly, my boss and that was it. No one else knew me.

I was here alone by myself, no family, no connections it was so profound to start a pure fresh start of my personality and finding out who I want to be, who I am. Because no one was telling me, “Hey, you are not like you were”, because no one knew me. So it was like I can try new things and be who I really want to be.

But at some point I actually found out that, you know, I somehow got in a relationship which was not – before I got here. So I trapped myself in a long distance relationship which was not really working well. And I decided to break up because it didn’t go well. And I saw the pattern I am following in my relationships that it’s me. I realized that it’s me creating what’s going on because otherwise it would not be repetitive.

I was not changing something in me, that’s why I was looking for someone to talk to, to discuss things with because something in me was attracting those relationships which were not serving me and which were not serving the goal I had for my life, or where I want to head, where I want to go. So I sign up for – I know it was around Easter. Usually Easter for me is a very profound time because I go through transformation. For me Easter is a time of transformation. I don’t know how you guys have it but last few years Easter is always like something big happens and some big transformation.

This year Covid, for me it was a big transformation time. And I sign up for, it was supposed to be some short program, Journey to Joy.

Kim: The Journey to Joy and it was during Easter.

Petra: Yeah, it was Easter time. And I remember you calling me and saying, “Hey, this is not for you. This is just not for you. You wouldn’t be satisfied with that. You should do intense three months coaching.” So I go, “Whoa, slow down, I’m not sure.” But I wasn’t such a deep down because in that time something else happened as well relationship wise where I realized that I really do not serve myself with my choices.

Kim: Yeah, it’s that whole when you recognize it but then it’s like now what?

Petra: Yeah. And it was another like that I was not important enough for the guy. I joined the three months coaching. I found my buffer. I quit drinking. I quit drinking every time on Easter. I was dedicated three months not drinking. I found out how much I actually drink, that was interesting. Because guys, I literally didn’t realize. I knew that I am but I didn’t realize how much.

Then it was like we went in a bar and I was like – because we were meeting in a bar with friends and with people, at their homes. And it was like, “You want a beer, and get a beer, and here’s a beer.” And I was like, “No, I don’t.” They said, “You are not drinking?” I was like, “No, not now.” And I was feeling like some alien. They were looking at me like I have three heads, like what happened. I was just, “No, I’m just on a Lent.” It was a great thing, yeah; I could just say that I’m on a lent.

So I started because of relationships. That was my main goal to change. But I found out how much the limiting beliefs we have are impacting everything. This is how we do one thing we do everything. So it was a relationship thing but it ended up being relationship to myself.

Kim: Yes. It’s just a catalyst to bring it forward for us to see it, the thing that’s creating the suffering in the moment.

Petra: I realized that we spend so much time building the relationship with others. I want to have a good relationship with my boss, with my coworkers, with my friends, with my family, with my partner. But we never stop and look what relationship we have with ourselves.

Do I treat myself the same way I treat the people I love, the people I like? Am I doing for myself what I’m doing for others? And I found out that I am not even if I already did the work. This seemed more crazy, I was like years of work. And I still had those mind patterns in me, the beliefs and the thoughts.

Kim: Yeah, I remember. You came to yoga after the bayou trip. And then I remember standing right here in the front, in the front of the shop with the relationship thing and everything started. That’s where the unraveling started.

Petra: Yeah. And I was just looking at it and I was like, wow. I’m a very structured logical person. I have a spiritual part, but I can as well be very structured and logical. And it was like to see it black and white, I was like wow. And I know that in that moment discovered my limiting belief that I believed, past tense, that I cannot have a successful career and successful family – happy family relationship life. Because in my mind everyone who is successful in the career is in some way jeopardizing family, kids, partners because they dedicate their life to the career.

And I remember you wrote it on there and I was like, “Yeah, I believe that.” And you were like, “It’s not true.” And I was like, “Wow.”

Kim: It’s almost like you need to repeat it again right now for those who are listening because it sounds so innocent. It sounds so rational.

Petra: Yeah. But it’s one sentence. But it’s impacting so much because I found out when I was successful at work, when I was striving and everything was going fine and I was getting recognition, I was sabotaging my relationship. It was like, no, I cannot focus on that. I’d focus on work. And I was doing things to make the relationship worse like I don’t have time now. I cannot talk, always priority work. And then because I believe that I have to do that to succeed at work.

And then I realized that my relationship is going downhill. So I started focusing on relationship and in that moment I started sabotaging work. I don’t like work. I hate going there. I don’t like the people because in my mind I was rationalizing I can have only one, I have to pick. And if one is going good the second must be crappy.

Kim: It was true for you because you believed it, that’s what’s so…

Petra: Yeah. And then I saw it and I was like where have you been all my life?

Kim: Just awareness man, it’s so good. And I do want to talk a moment if you’re okay going into it. But how, you know, we talk about more than mindset because yeah, it is recognizing the thought. But there’s also, because you had some experiences with physical pain in the body, do you remember? And recognizing that the unconscious is so strong that it’s in our body, and I know you do this work also for leaders, it’s really recognizing that the sensations that come up in our body from those beliefs [crosstalk].

Petra: I do the work on three levels. It’s releasing trapped emotions because we have, as you said, the physical sensations, we have trapped emotions from the past life, from the traumatic experiences we had which right now in our mind can look innocent. Someone came and got my ice-cream when I was four years old. But in that time it was highly traumatic. And we have those traumas trapped in ourselves. So that’s one very important thing to release that otherwise it keeps triggering, it’s coming back. And we have to fight it with our mind.

We have to overcome it with our mind and go and go. And then when we are in that, for me when I am tired or hungry, my mind doesn’t have the power to overpower those subconscious emotional triggers, so that’s one. The second is the PUNCH-Line Approach which is so profound. Because once we make the gap, the trapped emotion leaves, we need to replace it with something.

And we need to make sure that we are replacing it with something healthy. That’s when the PUNCH-Line Approach comes for me in a place that I’m just rewriting the mind models which are there running the show, are going and going. And to find it and reprogram it is great. And then I work with visualization that we can actually subconsciously in a meditation, I know that you do a lot of meditations in the More Than Mindset, I think every morning, right?

Kim: Right.

Petra: That we visualize and we program what we want to do, how we want to be, how we want to feel. Because I know that in one moment when we worked together it was like, “You can just be happy.” And I was like, “I don’t know how to be happy. Stop saying that.”

Kim: Just change your thoughts. Change the way you feel. And this stuff is running behind the scenes, spinning.

Petra: Yeah, I was so mad. I was like, “Eff you.” I do not have to do that. I don’t know how to do that.

Kim: It’s the feeling. It’s the feeling; you’ve got to get into the feeling sensation. This is the [crosstalk].

Petra: Yeah. And you gave me that meditation to visualize the current one, then tried to visualize the new one we were having. And it was such a life changing experience for me because I was able to feel the feeling I wanted to feel.

Kim: Exactly. Let’s stay here for a second because I like the way you put and I want to come back, I can kind of put on top of that. Because if we don’t do the way you’re explaining it, then we’re trying to believe a thought that’s not true to us. And this is the more than mindset. This is why it takes that PUN framework over, and over, and over. I love the way you’re saying it is I remember riding my bike and stopping and I was listening to a Louise Hay audio and I was like, “No, we can’t just change our thoughts.” Positive affirmations don’t work because I don’t believe them.

We’ve got to go get the root cause which is the belief we can’t see. That’s the beauty of working with someone else, even though we’ve done 10 years of work.

Petra: I loved, I loved, I loved, I love myself. And subconscious is saying, think no, you’re not being loved, look how he’s treating you, and how she’s treating you, or your boss is treating you, how you are treating you. And subconscious is like you don’t have that, like this bully voice inside. And then we are trying to overpower that inner voice which is the inner program run for ages with our mind. And it’s actually so energy draining.

I know that I was sleeping a lot, before I started doing this work, I had these like [inaudible] winter, dark, I was alone, things like that, going through relationship change. And I was sleeping a lot. I just went, I got home and I went to sleep at seven and woke-up at seven. I was so energy drained, I was so drained.

Kim: We talk about the physical manifestations. But you remember whenever you start coming out of this, you had that rash.

Petra: I am a true believer in psychosomatics. It was like me not being able to keep my boundaries because in that relationship I wasn’t keeping my boundaries. He was saying something which obviously wasn’t true, it wasn’t logically matching but I wanted to believe it. I was accepting that and then not keeping the promises. I was accepting that.

But inside I was suffering and I was not keeping my boundaries, I was not standing up for myself. I was not true to myself. And it all manifested in a rash. And once I cleared that, in a month doing the work when I was no relationship, I’d just work on myself, clear the stuff before I go do something new. It disappeared and it didn’t come back since because I know what is causing it. And whenever it’s coming back I’m like, “Hey.” You’re somehow really getting back somewhere in the old patterns, what is that? Are you standing up for yourself? Are you keeping your, you know?

Kim: That’s it. It’s exactly what you just said. It’s the stop and enquire. And then once you see it, release it, move on. It’s that simple but it is not simple when you’re itching, and you’re hurting, it’s not easy when you’re in the middle of it. Yeah.

Petra: Yeah. And I couldn’t cure it. I couldn’t, no medication could help me because it was emotional suffering.

Kim: And the question is what’s getting under your skin? And yet when we’re in it, oh my God, it’s kind of like the change of thought. It’s like, oh, if I knew how I could. It’s the settling down, dropping the resistance to have the ability to see and listen to what we can’t hear.

Petra: Where is it coming from?

Kim: Yes.

Petra: It’s an emotion and allow it, we go and right now, and it’s coming back. It’s not like – I know that there was a saying, this monk was going and he was carrying this heavy backpack and he just dropped the backpack and stretched his back. And he’s like, “Oh.” He was okay. And what happens after you reach that and the man put the backpack on again and keeps going. So it’s coming back. What I really love about this work is that I now have a tool to get out of it. So instead of being in it for a week, months, three months, year, some people are in those emotions a lifetime.

I do work so much, right now I can realize it immediately. And I know I’m doing it. So I know I’m buffering quit Facebook and I know I’m buffering quit chocolate. And it’s just my decision if I want to go down that hill or if I want to change it and heal it and be true to myself and come back to myself. So we can still make a decision to keep it.

Kim: At least you’re doing it consciously.

Petra: Conscious, yes, exactly. It’s a personal decision and it’s so empowering. It’s no one’s fault. It’s my fault. I am allowing it. I know I can change it. I know I can change everything in my life if I decide.

Kim: So let’s talk about – we’re going to say what was – I’m going to kind of read the list because I want to stay with this. But what was your old belief? And that was I can’t have a successful relationship and a career.

Petra: That was one of them. I had a lot. I had more, not a lot, I had more but that was the first one which I…

Kim: What would you say is the primary one you want to speak about? Would it be the somatics and the physical, understanding the way that works or would it be that you came to realize and created the life you wanted?

Petra: No, I would say the second one is big for me because I got from that relationship to myself. I work on that. And it was that if I speak up what I think, what I want, I will be rejected. That was my other one, really big that if I say, express what I want and I express my feelings about things and how I really want to do things and stop being just accommodating myself to others I will be rejected. And I had a big fear of rejection and it was like…

Kim: That was a big one.

Petra: On all the levels impacting so much, that change was huge for me.

Kim: And so what if you can stand up for yourself and be yourself? It’s so liberating.

Petra: And it was so hard to change that because it’s that subconscious fear, for me it was like you are standing, you are standing in front of the decision to do it. So you’re standing in front of a decision, I will just speak up for myself no matter what the cost is. That’s that one decision; we are one decision away from a totally different life that was for me. I will say what’s on my mind, stand up for myself no matter what the consequences are, that was my decision to change that.

And I remember it’s like you are standing in front of this Jell-O wall and you are just trying to do that step through it. That’s like if I visualize that inner feeling and so on, it’s like you have to – there is some resistance to do that step. But once you’re on the other side it’s easy.

Kim: It’s the stuff our mind tells us when we go to do it. This is when it happens. And we’ve all lived with this emotional manipulation. Lynne and I talked about that yesterday. If you do something that’s out of aligned, they’re going to punish you by rejecting you, or by leaving you out, or by ignoring you or whatever the thing is. And those stories of the past really prevent us from taking a stand today because it happened in the sixth grade, or because it happened with the last relationship. It’s so real.

It feels so real in the body because there’s an emotional samskara that’s connected to it and you’ll feel that vibration.

Petra: And now I say it and people aren’t used to it. In general people are not used to people being honest and honest at expressing and asking the questions to clarify if their assumptions, to ask the questions, to clarify, hey, you said that. Does it mean you don’t like me? It’s so uncomfortable to other people and they are like, “Whoa, you are so bold and it’s awesome.” But guys, it’s the work, it was not always for me like that and I did the work and it was uncomfortable. And I believe it’s hard.

I remember I was like, “But it’s hard”, with Kim, “It’s hard.” She was like, “It’s just a thought.” And I was like, “Eff you. Stop saying that. It is hard. It is hard. It’s hard.” And I was just so mad. But that thought of that it’s hard is just a thought was life changing for me.

Kim: It’s uncomfortable.

Petra: If you are sitting with that thought it’s hard, it’s so energy draining. You don’t want to do that. You don’t want to stand up and go because you believe that you have a high chance of failing and that will take a lot of energy. And by nature we are lazy so we don’t really want to. So turning it to something fun, and challenging, and something we just try for the heck of it was very liberating for me. And now I’m like, “I will just go and try to save this guy this, and see how it goes.” It’s like a game book. It’s not like a hard thing, it’s just testing on people.

Kim: Yeah. And you started bringing this work into the workplace in management and leadership. So talk a little bit about how – let’s talk about the part about when you first started bringing it in and you had to expose them to it because they were not familiar with this kind of, like we said earlier, being in relationship, being honest, asking instead of assuming and being forward. So how was that experience?

Petra: Well, the thing is that I’m working in the technical field. There is a lot of – the people there are more like logical thinking, rational, more the tech mind. This mindset, emotional work is a little bit more woo woo. What I like about this work is that it’s, as I said, it’s structured. I had a lot of people – so it didn’t work for me to bring it on a global level, for groups of people. But I worked with individuals who are willing to do that because I saw how this work is helping to build up our lives. So I was offering it.

I was like, “Hey, I see you are limiting yourself here.” And I as well work with some people who are having psychosomatic issues related to high stress because we are working in a high stress environment. And migraines, neck pains, block neck, shoulder pain, stomach ache. And the people are going to doctors and getting the pills, and ultrasounds, and MRIs, and all that. And it’s all coming from the mindset, stress, psychosomatic. And I see it because I work with people and I have a result.

We were able to get out of migraine through one session because it was coming from some trauma in her childhood. It was just a trapped emotion which was triggered through work, and personal stuff, and relationship which was recreating that.

Kim: I agree. I think it’s here. I think it’s here. It’s not going anywhere, we’re just going to see more and more of it. And I feel like what we can do even with having this series is it’s really exposing, expose more people to see the possibilities, the potentials, to see the success stories from someone who didn’t believe either at one point. Because we couldn’t see it was beliefs, we could not see that we were creating it. And that’s really what I want to ask the question is, what was the transition phase when you were going from the old to the new, in other words the in between?

Because you did the 10 years of transformational work, you knew. And then there was this moment of, “Oh.” And recognizing, and that’s when all the physical stuff started coming up. And we did a lot of work. We did a lot of night calls and was really processing through the physical sensations in the back, in the body.

And I want to talk about that because I think when somebody starts on this transformation journey and they’re really doing the deeper work, a lot of the psychosomatic stuff does come up. And it’s kind of like, we don’t want you to go and make it happen but when it happens just know that it’s just the mind body disconnection. It’s part of being a human, it’s a human condition. It’s really nothing wrong. And it’s only awareness. But we do have the tools to expose and extract, to dismantle what we can’t see that’s running behind the scenes.

Petra: What I would like to tell people, when you get to the phase that you are working with someone on a mindset, or you’re working on your mindset yourself and you hit the point that you will start having any physical signs coming up, don’t stop the work. Find someone who can help you release the trapped emotions which are causing this physical manifestation because it’s actually awesome. Whenever it starts, it happens to me I’m like, yeah, awesome. I see another thing which was trapped in me because it’s there.

That you stop the work will not make that thing disappear, that trapped emotion is staying in you. And it’s better to do this work and release it in the moment when you are not going through any hula hoops in your life because it will show up later on in the moment when would be the most problematic for you or the most upset.

Kim: The circumstances or the pressures of life are the catalyst for it to bubble up. But the bubbling up, there’s a gift in the bubbling up and that’s for you to release. It’s just an opportunity for a better outcome.

Petra: It’s an opportunity because you’re not – and it’s coming up through your own work, not through circumstances and situations bringing it up in you when you are forced to react. You have time and peace to clear it up on your pace and your time if you just realize that you have it. Instead of that something happened in your life and it will bring it up and then you have to deal with that. Just find what fits you and clear it up and it will just – you will do this space jump on your journey when it leaves.

I’m telling you, it’s such a relief. And I know that the first time to do that it’s scary because our subconscious is like hey, I don’t want to go there again. Just leave it there and keep the rug on it and just don’t, you know.

Kim: That safe container is so important to really trust and you have to feel safe. You have to feel safe in order to go there because the mind just would not let you go. And I kind of relate it to when someone starts exercising or start doing something new, they’ll get plantar fasciitis, or a knee thing, or a hip thing, it’s like all of this stuff comes up whenever you start something new. It’s very much like that. And then we instantly think it’s something we did or it’s something in the physical body.

And it’s we don’t recognize that it was actually the thoughts about moving forward, or the fear about being the new identity, or the new person. Because it’s like the subconscious is always thinking about how are they going to reject me if I’m different or if I, you know, that kind of stuff.

Petra: Because deep uncomfortable things, you release it once it’s really uncomfortable. You release something second time it is uncomfortable. You do it third time, it is kind of uncomfortable and the fourth time you are like I need someone just to get me out of that. It’s like a short time of discomfort brings such a relief long term that you actually – it’s like you have a pain in your finger, you just want someone to pull it out. And in the beginning if it happens the first time you’re like, “This will hurt. This will hurt.” And the second time you’re like, “Just get it out.”

Kim: Yeah. It’s like you start looking forward to it. But here’s the other side of that is you can get addicted to healing, we have to stop that too. So it’s like it’s always a balancing act because we kind of get used to, we want to always be knocking and hey, hey, hey, we get addicted to the liberation. We get addicted to that breakthrough. And it’s like hold on, we already have the tools, you just use them whenever you need them. So just keep living life and I promise you, opportunity will allow it to bubble up then you can use your tools again.

But you don’t have to always have someone rescuing you. But at the beginning I think we do. I think it does take someone to show us that, someone who knows how to do it. And that’s what I love about what all you guys are doing. We did the work together and then you all instantly were like, “I want to know how to do this. I want to help other people. My friend needs it. My mom needs it. My sister needs it, my”, you know, whoever. And that’s really how all of this started opening up is how to integrate coaching or this integrative coaching in your current skill set, whatever it is.

Because you were already doing tapping, you already had quite a bit of training and skill set in it. It was just that next level of really understanding the unconscious and breaking through that.

Petra: Because it helped me a lot and I’m a very independent person, I like freedom and I don’t like being dependent on coaches, therapists. As you said this addiction to healing, I am addicted to healing in some way because I’m addicted to self-progress. But I hate being addicted to someone who is doing it for me. So that’s why I wanted to learn it so I can use it. It actually helped me with my, I believe it helped me with my career, with my work because I was able to use those tools.

It’s like you show care but we can show care, but I can show care with the tools which are actually helping them. I always care about people who I’m working with. But it’s a difference to say, “I am sorry that this happened to you.” Or, “This happened, it’s sad but whenever you need help just come to me, I have the tools, how you can feel better.” It takes months. And they feel better and that’s so rewarding for both of us. I really love helping them and seeing them succeeding and thriving. They love it too of course.

Kim: Once you have something that’s magic you want to share the magic, you want to share the joy. You want to bring on the party. So let’s talk about the things that you did materialize in this process. So your life now looks like because there was a bit of time where it wasn’t just relationships, it was job, it was career, it was kind of all in there. But now you’re sitting in the, let’s celebrate it. You’re sitting in the celebration of the joy, you’ve like full circle.

Petra: In the beginning I would like to say that I was not happy but I really didn’t have defined what I want. And I think that a lot of people are in it. So if you’re listening to it and you are sitting there and you are unhappy with your life ask yourself, have I put down what I actually want? And I know that I was procrastinating on it for a long time. You were telling me, “Write five things, five fingers what you want in life.” And I was like two months nothing. And then we went to that retreat and you were like, “You will write it now. I’m watching you.”

So I really didn’t have defined what I want, and that was the first big mistake. So that helped me. And then I clarified it, I want family; I want to have a family life. I knew I want to have a baby but I really didn’t have a partner who would share that, because I was always acting independent and free. So I was attracting those kinds of partners. And they didn’t want to have kids because they wanted to be independent and free and travel and everything. So I found out I want to have a family life, I really want to have a kid.

But I want to have a career and fulfilling work life in the same time, I don’t want to sacrifice it for it. I don’t want to sacrifice my work, which is fulfilling for me, is bringing joy to me and I really like it. And I didn’t want to sacrifice it for family. So overcoming that belief brought me – I met a guy I love. I believe he’s my soul mate, we are so close and he’s so amazing and just living with him is so great. I haven’t experienced a relationship like that before. And it’s just every day is a miracle for me to wake-up next to him and be like hey, I have it finally.

I got married, we are living in a house, I have a beautiful daughter which got born two months ago. So she’s my tiny little princess. And she’s amazing. And my relationship with my family got better. They were not bad before but for example, with my sister who is amazing and awesome and last year I would say, we even started partnering at work. She’s doing the craniosacral therapy and physiotherapy. And we started partnering the mind work and this deep energy level work.

I got promoted at work. I started doing this coaching as partially as a business, exploring the business potentials of it. So when I’m on maternity leave I can get some as well, financial security and do what I love because I really love that work. I really love it.

Kim: It’s so good.

Petra: It’s so fulfilling, so many changes happened and everyone is like, “This 2020 year sucks and we don’t have the toilet paper.” For me it was the major transformation year on all levels. I got promoted. I got a pay raise. I got pregnant. I moved to a new house. I got married.

Kim: 2020 is an amazing year. It’s kind of hard to say that.

Petra: My daughter got born, I started the business, got everything set up in Czech Republic. And it just, you know, I can just celebrate. I can look back on this year and be like, one year that was something.

Kim: Yeah. I can definitely say it’s not one of my top five worst years or my top two worst years for sure, probably not even in the top seven.

Petra: No. For me it was, this was like big in a good way.

Kim: Yeah. And I think it’s the toolset, I think it’s Danielle that text me the other day and was like, “Thank God we have these tools.” I don’t know what we would have done if we wouldn’t have had these tools.

Petra: For me it was, this time enabled me to slow down, really get focused. Basically I lost the distractions of travelling, concerts, all kinds of social gatherings and stuff. And it’s just come to me and internalized and things started – I already prepared the ground for it before. But everything materialized for me this year.

Kim: It’s so good. So instead of traveling outward as we were all doing, we were all able to travel inward, which is where we found everything, the joy, the empowerment, the acceptance of all that is, the contrast and I think anyway that’s what it’s been like with me and that’s what I’m seeing in you also. It’s so good.

Petra: And sitting in my backyard and journaling and writing down the manifestations, what I want more of and thinking and just get going.

Kim: So when looking back what’s one thing your now self would tell your past self before it started, kind of what would you tell someone else who’s where you were when you began the work?

Petra: Start now. There is no better time than now to start because the things will not change, they will just seem like they are changing but they will be just the same thing in different clothes. It’s we repeat the same things over and over, they just look slightly different. So just start now. There is no tomorrow to wait for.

Kim: And what would you tell someone who’s in the middle of the work and they are feeling, like when all this stuff starts bubbling up and you want to eject the process, you want to quit, you want to, like what would you tell that person about staying with it or whatever, because we all experience that transition?

Petra: Well, I know that sometimes it can be overwhelming. Sometimes we are just working with the person who is not the right fit for us. Respect your pace. I would say that’s really important, don’t let others push you in the progress, respect your own pace. Our inner soul, inner ourselves know the things we can release right now to stay stable and healthy. And you know it. You know when is the right time so it’s not about stopping. Keep going in your own pace.

Kim: So it’s even just slowing down whenever you’re feeling it’s a bit too much?

Petra: Yeah, just slow down, take time to process, we need to be switching from those phases of do and be. So we do something and then we just have to be with it to integrate it. Do the steps and then just enjoy the view I would say, you get accommodated to the altitude you get to before you take the next steps because then it can be overwhelming and not sustainable. So we don’t have to do all the time. We have to do and then just be, and then do and then just be. So plant the tree and then enjoy the fruit, and then plant a tree and then enjoy the fruit.

Kim: That’s a great point because I remember I was, a couple of years ago I was so – I felt an urgency for that. I was kind of like wanting them to get it faster than they could receive it. And it kind of petrified the body, the system. And so really had to learn that it was creating the safe space for the nervous system to release and let go. We really have to honor our body, the physical sensations that are activated through the work and really being there. And not looking at where someone else is, that was really big too.

Petra: So if you are working with someone who is pushing you, just keep your own pace and tell them, “Hey, I’ve had enough for now. I have to process.” It’s totally fine because I know we are result based and we just want the results. And a lot of coaches out there or therapists are as well working on their self-doubt. Can I guarantee the results? Can I bring the results to everyone? We are all human having our own shadows and limitations. So just respect yourself, you know what is the best for you. But keep going. Keep going with your own pace.

Kim: Petra, thank you for joining us. Is there anything I didn’t ask you that you want to share?

Petra: Well, thank you for inviting me. I really appreciated that I could share this. If I can do it, you can do it. That’s what I would tell everyone, no one has the super human, so if I can do it, you can do it. And just embrace yourself and do the first step.

Kim: And I think that the most beautiful thing is the ripple effect. Once we learn how we can show someone else how and really that’s the beauty of all of this.

Petra: You find a community, you know, for me a broader community and I really love it, the integrative life coach community is very fulfilling, supportive, important for me. And it’s great to have. And once you start doing this work you will start attracting those kinds of communities and people and it will bring more to your life.

If you have any questions and you would like to ask me, you will find me on Facebook or LinkedIn, or you can contact me through my webpage, and I think it will be posted under the episode. So in case there will be any more questions just let me know and I’m available.

Kim: We’ll have the link attached and you can go straight to her personal page, or her group, or wherever you want to find her. If you’re in the More Than Mindset group just you’ll see her name tagged and so you can just click on it from there. We do have a very rich community. I do believe that we’ve got a lot of experience together. So, until next week.

                                                                                                                   

Thanks for listening to this episode of More than Mindset.