Ep #9: How Your Unconscious Thoughts Create Your Life

Some of the toughest things to tackle in coaching can be our unconscious thoughts. These thoughts play in the background of our lives, and often we don’t even notice them or the messages they’re sending us. But they can affect the way we see ourselves, how we show up in the world, and shape our lives, often with results we don’t like.

Unconscious thoughts like this can include beliefs about why we can’t make enough money, why things are possible for other people but not us, and similarly negative ideas. Affirmations can be a useful tool in countering them, but affirmations alone won’t do the trick.

Listen in to this episode as I talk about the power of unconscious thoughts to create your life and how you can excavate these thoughts with the help of a coach. I also share the key for making affirmations truly transformational, rather than just a bunch of pretty, but empty, words. By understanding these thoughts and patiently shifting them to something more positive, you can completely shift the paradigm of your life.

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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How unconscious thoughts can affect your health.
  • You can teach your body how to behave in reaction to certain emotions.
  • Why simply using positive affirmations isn’t enough to turn yourself into a positive thinker.
  • How beliefs you may have picked up in childhood, or later, can make you feel like things aren’t possible for you.
  • How thoughts you have internalized can manifest as health problems.
  • Why you usually have to work through unconscious, internalized thoughts for several months before you can create a new paradigm.

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners, the only podcast that can help YOU help more people, create a greater impact, and make more money in the health and wellness industry. Join Master Clarity and Confidence Coach, Kim Guillory, as she teaches you how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started…

Hello, beautiful people and welcome to the show. I still get excited about this. It’s like, every week, I spend so much time dialing in and deciding what I want to talk about, because when I only have these few minutes, they’re so precious to try to get in everything I want to say in a teeny bit of time without overwhelming your mind.

So, I’m just getting off of my bike. It’s a gorgeous day out here in Louisiana. The sun is like amazing and there’s not a lot of wind today, so I’ve been laying out in the yard, walking barefooted, playing with the dog, riding my bike, heading to the walking track at least a couple of times a week and doing yoga three times a week. So I am feeling super grounded, healthy, and really balanced right now, so you caught me on a good day.

Anyway, let’s get to today’s show. So I’m going to carry on about how the mind creates your life, your everything, your unconscious, what’s going on behind the scenes, like those thoughts that kind of innocently hang around are truly what’s driving 95% of the results in your life. And this includes your health. It includes your physical body, your finances, relationships, career, everything.

The unconscious is what drives the actions and the actions that you take are what end in the results that you have. So it’s super clear. Last week, we talked a lot about thoughts creating the feelings and then that driving the actions and then the results, right? So we’re going to take it all the way up to really looking at the circumstance, which is what we often think is the issue and the thing that needs to be changed to get different results.

But this concept actually is different from that. So the body believes every word you say. It believes everything you think. And you know, I’m noticing this in coaching. So, I receive a lot of coaching. Not only do I do a lot of coaching, but I am actually the receiver very, very often.

And it’s like we have to say the things to get the story out to hear our self say it to recognize what’s truly going on, like even behind the scenes, right? And when it’s being shared back, there’s time where I’m thinking, I didn’t really mean it. Like, that’s not what I meant, and I want to clean it up and try to make it sound better. But the honest truth is, that is what comes up. That’s why journaling is so important, whenever you’re just writing and letting things come through the pen and then you can take a look at what’s happening unconscious.

So, journaling, coaching, I wouldn’t necessarily just talking about your problems, because often, you’ll get feedback of me-too, and anytime someone is saying me too, just beware, they are right up in the business with you and may be believing that it is someone else’s fault or something else’s fault or that the thing needs to be changed.

So, the body is the unconscious mind. We teach our body how to emotionally change and then the results appear in our health. We teach the body how to emotionally change and the results end up a reflection in our life. It’s fascinating, right?

So, we think, like, if we put a positive spin on it and a positive affirmation that that makes us a positive thinker. So you’ll see all these amazing memes, you know, people will post on Facebook and say things that sound really pretty. But it’s kind of like spraying potpourri on poop or putting a flower on top of a pile of crap.

It’s really what’s happening underneath that’s driving your actions ultimately, not necessarily the positive affirmation that you’re saying out loud but you don’t truly believe. I hope that makes sense.

So, at one time, I remember, I was doing a lot of Louise Hay’s work, which is where much of this about illness and disease and the condition of the body came from in my own experience, you know, back 20 years ago. And she would – Louise was just like, all is well, life supports me, there’s plenty of abundance that’s available for me.

And we can say it, but you don’t truly bring the results of it unless you also feel that it’s true. So it’s more than just saying it’s true. That’s one thing. So you could start there. You can put positive affirmations, you can take them to the window, you can write them with lipstick on your mirror. You could have them – there’s an app on your phone called Rabbit, where it just kind of feeds it back to you every few hours or however you set it, or you can put it on your screensaver so that you’re constantly reminded, I am beautiful, I am worthy of love, everything I need is available to me.

But when you say those on a scale of one to 10, how much do you truly believe them? Because that feeling, the way you feel when you think the thought is what drives the action. So, just because you say it, if you don’t believe it, you won’t actually take the action as if it is so.

This goes even for business that, I like to say, first is belief, then it’s aligned action, and that equals your desired results. So the secret is the aligned action. So let’s use an example of, let’s say you believe it because someone said it but you don’t really feel it, and so you do a few things to test it out and then you don’t get the results, and then so many people do this, they throw in the towel, that’s not true, that’s not available for me, I’m different, it’s where I live, people don’t get me, I’m so misunderstood, my friends don’t have money, they can’t support this, you know.

Whatever your reason and excuse is, you think it’s because of the circumstance, but what’s actually happening here is the belief is not your belief. It’s what someone else told you, what worked for someone else. And you don’t actually feel it to be true. You hear it, you see it in someone else’s life, but your unconscious belief is, but I’m not them, I don’t live where they live, I don’t have an existing business, it’s because she’s married or it’s because she’s single or it’s because whatever your brain tells you. There’s plenty of excuses why you think someone else could do it and you can’t.

But that’s actually not the fact of what’s happening here. What’s happening is you hear it, you think it could maybe possibly be, you see a little bit of evidence of it, but you don’t feel it. You take the action someone else is telling you to take and you don’t get the results, and so you throw in the towel and you give up prematurely.

That is not how it works. I’ve heard people talk about the secret and they kind of give it a bad rap, or like Abraham Hicks, you know, and Jerry Hicks and how their talk about just saying it and believing and getting into the vortex and it just happens. But it’s like, the secret to it is feeling it on such a deep level that you keep taking the action even before you see the results.

This is the game-changer. So, it doesn’t matter who’s saying it. If there’s even an inkling of an idea that you think it could be possible, that’s a great start. So just start there and start with the affirmation, saying it over and over and over and over and over until you can start to imagine possibilities and then start trying to find evidence of it.

So, maybe it’s evidence of someone else doing it, maybe it’s reading books, maybe it’s listening to podcasts or listening to success stories. But something begins to light that fire, just strikes the first match or puts that little hint of hope. So that’s a beautiful place depending on where you are in your journey.

For some of you, you’re like, yeah I’ve been doing that for 10 years and it’s still not working and I don’t understand and I keep doing what they’re telling me and it doesn’t work. That stuff is not true, it doesn’t work for me, it’s because, I don’t know, my gosh, there’s so many reasons why we think it’s available for everyone else and not us.

It could be because your parents told you it wasn’t available for you. Like, great, the neighbors get to go to college, you don’t, or of course they go on vacation, because their dad works at the bank, we’re not like that, we’re poor over here. Money doesn’t grow on trees. And you took on that belief and didn’t realize that it stayed with you, that it’s still buried in your unconscious.

So, you look at your bank account and you see that you do have money, but there’s a part of you that believes that it’s never going to be enough, that you’re never going to be safe. And it’s actually those stories that’s running it.

So, there’s so many levels of belief and levels of feeling and levels of experience that you bring in. And this work is about unraveling that process. So it’s not a one-step one-time thing. It’s not something you do for six weeks. It’s kind of like yoga. It’s a practice that you take on for the rest of your life and you just continue to grow and evolve.

So, I’ll just repeat all of that. Your body believes every word you say. Your body is your unconscious mind. It is a reflection of what you truly believe and you can teach the body emotionally. Be very careful that the feelings that remain hidden will eventually show themselves. They will become the story and you will be able to witness and experience it.

Some people actually push themselves into disease. It’s crazy, but in order to express this emotion that’s not acknowledged, that they’ll intentionally cause problems so that it can be expressed. It’s warped when you think about it.

I think about this too. So let’s just use this example of relationship. You may have someone who believes that divorce is wrong. They’re not happy in the marriage but they don’t see any way out and they know that getting a divorce is not going to be acceptable in their community or in their culture or their family. And they may choose to actually become the person, like, the adulteress. They will do something that’s unforgivable so they can get out of the situation.

They’ll do something that’s unacceptable so that they don’t have to communicate openly and be vulnerable and make a decision from an honest place of, you know, I’m just not happy and this is not working and we’re both different than what we thought when we were 16 and decided we would get married or whatever it is. And because of church or family or conditioning, whatever those beliefs are, they couldn’t be honest, and so they’ll go and do the unforgivable thing so that they can get out of it.

And we do this even with illness and with sickness. So maybe, parenting is so hard, or caretaking for parents or whatever it is, is so hard that the person will create a disease within themselves, some sort of condition that actually stops them from being able to take that role and step into that role. And so, we are capable of causing sickness to ourselves to get out of things that we feel like we are trapped by or we can’t be honest about or get out of.

So, this is some deep stuff, right? I tend to go way beneath the layers. Another thing that we have to really watch for is sometimes we were just called stupid or lazy or a failure or you’ll never be like so and so or you’ll never be like your sister or whatever you’re being compared to. And so then you pretty much become this self-fulfilled – an example of this would be the person who doesn’t believe that they’re capable of abundance, you know. It’s not possible for our family to make six figures. That’s ridiculous and it’s greedy and you should be ashamed of yourself and that’s unnecessary and it’s greedy.

And if you were told that early on and there’s a part of you that believes it, there’s an adult part of you that’s like, oh my god, this is 50 years later and I realize it’s going to take $50,000 to $100,000 just to be able to pay my bills, that’s an old story, but you may not recognize it because it’s been so subtle, like hidden behind the scenes.

We recognize this when we start doing business coaching and helping people work through limiting beliefs. There’s really a lot, a lot, a lot of that. Sometimes it’s actually about outgrowing your circle and then feeling guilty that – like, what I noticed is when I went a step above what I was familiar and used to is I had the availability for money and for travel. And I pretty much was like alone.

And it was hard finding someone else who could take off work or who had the money or was in a different situation. And so there was this kind of isolation and loneliness where it’s like, oh well it’s not worth having, we might as well not do it because that means I’m going to be alone, and just realizing now that it’s just shifts and patterns.

And it’s perfectly fine and there’s no better or worse or higher or lower levels, it’s basically all a process. We’re all evolving. We’re all growing. We’re all learning and experiencing. And at the end of the day, it’s all about personal freedom to express ourselves as ourselves, to create the life that we truly want to live, the legacy that we’ve come here to create.

Like, we have permission to do that. I give you permission to do that. I had to give myself permission to do that because it was not in my circle and it was not okay and I wasn’t taught that way. And so we don’t really want to put the blame on anyone. Like, if you were called stupid or lazy or said you were going to be a failure or you wouldn’t be able to afford it, it’s not your parents’ fault. It’s no one’s fault.

That’s just the thing that happened to get you to the position that you’re at now, because blame is lame. We don’t want to walk around being victims, and any time you’re blaming someone, that means you’re the victim of the circumstance. And that’s not fun and it’s definitely not empowering. But instead, you could choose responsibility, which is just the ability to respond; the ability to respond in such a way to get the results that you want to create and not looking around for approval and to see who else is okay with that.

In the coaching world, I have seen so much illness, disease, conditions in the body, physical conditions, that were brought on from living an inauthentic life, in a marriage that wasn’t working, in a job that they hated, doing things that they no longer wanted to do but the unfamiliarity or the discomfort of doing things different was so painful that it was easier to just stay.

And because you’re repressing or suppressing those emotions, that anger about having to do it, the sadness about being stuck, the resentment about having to do it, those emotions, they fester, but they don’t die. They stay there and you say these things to yourself but don’t acknowledge it and don’t express it, but yet your body hears it. That’s that unconscious part.

Your body also feels it because those thoughts, those old thoughts that you’re not even admitting to create feelings and emotions. That’s depression; not being able to get to do what you want to do, saying negative things about yourself. Those are reasons for depression. There’s a sadness. There’s a stuckness. There’s like being in this rut and this dissatisfaction and then being trapped by it because you’re not able to – some people will say it’s like, I don’t want to complain. There’s nothing I can do anyway so I might as well not complain.

And so they just find a pretty positive thing to say about it, but they’re truly feeling the negativity. So which one do you think is expressing in your life? You end up walking around saying all this pretty stuff that you could actually write poetry out of it, but feeling like crap and feeling sick and stifled and unsatisfied.

I come across so many people with Crohn’s disease and migraines and back pain and Hashimoto’s. All of this stuff is from suppressed emotion and repressed emotion. The difference between those two is one you know about it but you consciously push it down, and the other one is unconscious and you don’t even know about it, it’s just hiding out there.

I do work – well, teach my coaches how to do work around this. I used to do sessions. I don’t do one-off sessions anymore. I only work with private clients because I’ve found that most of this stuff takes more than one session. So I don’t do that anymore, but some of my coaches that I’ve trained still do one-off sessions. How you do anything is how you do everything. So it goes not just to this one incident that’s being triggered, but over time, like a few weeks later, it will come up again, it will come up again.

And so working with somebody for three, four, six months to 12 months, these things come up and then they can be shifted because it’s really about the consistency. We want to acknowledge the story, so that’s seeing it. And then we want to lift it. And so that’s what takes some time. We have to like lift that veil. We have to unveil, dismantle, start to loosen and imagine, like when you have a scab that’s about ready to come off and you can kind of loosen around the edges but the center of it – that’s kind of gross to talk about. But the center of it is like still sticky and it’s painful.

And so there’s like this unlayering of sorts where it takes some time to let that heal and process and integrate. And so as we start to acclimate to this new thinking, this new way, then that eventually kind of just dries up, shrivels, and lifts. And that’s what we call the shifting.

So it’s a see, lift, and shift. And when we shift, that’s into the new paradigm, into the new belief system. That’s the time when you’re actually thinking it, knowing it, feeling it, seeing it like on all levels. And now you’re in the results of it.

So, I’m going to talk more about this moving forward, but I wanted to plant the seed today just so that you can, again, stay mindful about how your thoughts, your unconscious stories, and your mind create everything in your life; your emotional health, mental health, physical health, financial health, your occupation, your intelligence, like your ability to continue to grow and evolve, your social life and environment, your spiritual life.

Like, all of that, how we do anything is how we do everything, and so it shows up on all layers. And this is our responsibility, the work that we do. So I’ll just recap three takeaways for you.

Your body believes what you say and it actually shows up to give you what you believe and what you want, the pictures you paint in your head, the things you say to yourself. Number two is your responsibility, which is just the ability to respond to what you want to create. And number three, the events in your life are just opportunities. There is no blame because blame is lame. It’s really the opportunity to evolve, to grow, to learn, and to find personal freedom and expression in the life that you want to create, the legacy that you want to live. What’s the example you want to lead by?

Alrighty, that is it for this week. I hope you have a great weekend.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today.

 

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