Letting go of old habits, behaviors, beliefs, and conditioning is really hard, and it’s no wonder so many people throw in the towel when it comes to trying to achieve a goal in an area of their life.
Uprooting your whole belief system is going to require some vulnerability and feeling exposed to the world, and I’ve got a great visualization tool for you on this episode that’s going to highlight exactly what’s going on when you’re going after some transformation. I’m sharing the first major step to change and why just working on your thoughts will only bring you the same results you’re trying to avoid.
Tune in to discover how your belief system is grounded and what it takes to get different results. We’ve all had short stints of motivation but they’re usually short-lived, and I’ll be diving into why that is and how you can start cleaning up your old emotional residue to make way for some fresh, new beliefs.
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- Why change is so hard.
- How we strengthen our beliefs by resisting change.
- Why mindset alone will not change your belief system.
- The first step to start tackling change in your life.
- What is happening if you find yourself quitting on or sabotaging yourself regularly.
- How to build more of what you want in your life.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners, the only podcast that can help YOU help more people, create a greater impact, and make more money in the health and wellness industry. Join Clarity and Confidence Coach, Kim Guillory, as she teaches you how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started…
Hey guys, how’s it going? I’m listening as I start to record this and I’m hearing the crop duster fly over my house, so if you can hear this in the background, my apologies. That’s what it’s like when you live out in the country.
So today I want to tell you a little story. Just a tiny one about what’s happening in my backyard. So, we are cleaning up a flowerbed. Well, I should say my husband is cleaning up a flowerbed because I’m the one who causes him the trouble in the yard. And there is an old tree stump there and it was a Bradford pear tree that started to split because I planted it, it got too big, it’s too close to the house.
I planted it in the wrong place and so there’s all kinds of things happening with this stump that I’m seeing this week, and I wanted to share with you because I – let’s just say it’s the parable of the tree stump or lessons from the tree stump because I’ve been watching this for days and so much about nature has to tell us the story even about human nature.
So what I’m seeing in this tree stump is the root system. It’s like, fascinating to try to – have you ever tried to take a stump out of the ground? You have to break through and tear through and rip apart this – all this system that’s holding this together.
And so what it got me to thinking about is like, our beliefs are like these roots. Your thoughts, your beliefs, what your conditioning, your generational patterns, everything, the reason that you run your life the way you do is because of your root system. It’s because of what you have planted and grounded yourself in. It’s crazy.
This is why change is so hard. Because you have to uproot, you have to remove and it takes a long time to change this system, to completely revamp it or reset it. Because it’s not as easy as just planting new roots or planting a new tree. We have to – I don’t know, you can look at maybe cutting away, maybe burning it, dousing it with gasoline or poisoning it, and you think about how long that takes because it’s just doing it on the outside.
If we catch it on fire, it’s going to burn the wood part of it. Like the actual trunk, but it’s not going to get to the roots, to the system. So we’ve already cut the top off and this is kind of what we do in transformation and change when we’re looking at even changing into a healthy lifestyle.
Like, oh I’m going to start working out, we do it from our head. I’m going to go on this diet, I’m going to wake up at 5:30 every morning, I’m going to get my workout in. And we think our way through it from the top. We cut off the top or we cut at the top or we try to change the top of it, but not changing the root systems, what got us there to start off with.
How did the tree grow to be such a strong, powerful tree in the belief that it was already in? And so I’ve been in the fitness world, health, wellness, fitness, self-improvement, self-image, all of this stuff for over 20 years, and I’ve seen this over and over and over, but never in the depth and the strength of what I’m seeing in this actual tree trunk or tree stump.
And I see like, even when I first planted it. So say it’s been about 10 years when I first put it in the ground, and it had this little tiny root system. Kind of like the way we come into the world. Just this tiny little baby, this little tiny brain. But the longer it spends time there, the longer it has to really dig its roots into the ground and strengthen them so they grow really far out and really far deep, and then they kind of get tangled amongst the dirt.
And as it rains and they get watered and the sun shines and they grow stronger and stronger, and then you’ll get these winds that come up against it and you imagine it’s like, strengthening the roots. So this is kind of like when you have obstacles in your life and you have this particular root system already grounded.
It could be a negativity, it could be in doing things the hard way, but whatever your belief system is, when life hands you some of these challenges, you hold on for dear life. It’s like fingertips, like grabbing in the roots, like no, I don’t want to be uprooted. I need to do exactly what I’m doing, this is uncomfortable, I need to hold on.
And what you do is you strengthen those muscles, those roots that you’ve been using all of this time and then you become stronger in your belief system. The longer you stay planted in that environment, in those beliefs, the stronger you get in them. Can you see? I’m fascinated.
So we strengthen with the resistance of change. And what happens? Imagine you make the decision like I want to change my life, I want to improve my relationships, I want to get healthier, I want to improve my business, I want to grow into the CEO of my company and become the successful entrepreneur, and you try to do it from that old root system and you just keep growing the same thing.
So we cut the tree down last year but that root system continues to grow new sprouts, even though the top of the tree has changed. So imagine that your head space, that your mind game that’s trying to change mentally. Even though that’s changed, the roots are actually – they’re still a byproduct of the roots in the environment that it’s in.
You’re trying to change into a new lifestyle, trying to change relationships, trying to change your business, going from scarcity or poverty mindset into an abundance mindset but your roots are grounded in disbelief. I’m not good enough, that doesn’t work for us, it’ll never be available for me, that doesn’t happen for people like us.
Say that’s your roots, that’s your beliefs, that it’s not available and possible for you, and that’s what’s grown in that environment, that’s who you’ve become. Change just the thoughts but we don’t change the root system and the deep beliefs, and then there’s new evidence that comes forward. You sprout new evidence because you’re attracting what you truly believe in and what you’re grounded in, so those new sprouts are representing bringing more of the old.
I keep saying that, but I’m having so much fun with this. So what happens is when we decide to make the change, we start to cut away at the roots. That’s what I do. I used to say I like, chisel and get rid of the old stories, but think about this. We take a shovel all the way around the stump and we cut into the roots. Cut into the roots and they start popping and snapping and cracking.
And you got to go pretty deep down there. It’s like layers, and this is what happens in personal transformation. We get into one story and it leads to another story and it leads you to another one and these events are just stacked on top each other and they make those beliefs stronger and more real to you.
And then when we truly believe that, then we actually get the emotions and the feeling, which kind of locks it in. So say we’ve loosened all of the roots, we’ve cracked through them with the shovel or whatever tool you want to use. Now we can go in with a chain or with a tractor or you know, however you want to pull it out. Out here in the south we do it with a four-wheeler.
And so you try to start pulling that loose, try to pull the stump away from the roots. That’s like kind of trying to create a new byproduct from the environment that you’re actually in, and what happens is as you pull the root out, you hear this cracking and snapping and popping. And it’s kind of loud, especially if it’s a pretty big tree trunk. It’s excruciating. It’s painful, it’s scary. It really gets your attention.
And as you pull, it kind of pulls itself back into the hole. You pull and it pulls itself back because those roots are intertwined in each other and in the ground and they buried really, really deep. And so you pull and it cracks and snaps and pops and that is what is happening with your belief system. Think about it. This is so good.
And that’s when we give up. This is too hard, I can’t get away, I don’t know how to break free, I’m just going to leave it, I’m going to go and douse it with some gas, I’m just going to burn it. Eventually it’ll die, maybe I can put poison it and get rid of the new growth. Like it’s going to quit growing the new byproduct or the new results coming from the old root system, and all of that is just temporary.
So it’s kind of like walking around saying positive affirmations or putting Band-Aids on chronic pain or like, trying to find a temporary solution to a long-term rooted problem. So imagine we just try to take care of it on the exterior but never break down into the roots because it’s too hard, it’s not possible, I can’t do this, I’m tired, it makes too much noise, it pulls too hard, I don’t like the way that sounds, I don’t like the way it feels, I don’t really feel like doing that.
That’s all the excuses and the stories. Especially for you entrepreneurs out there, like, this is too hard, nobody wants this, no one wants to pay me, I can’t get people to see my value, like, those are the stories that you come up with that stop you from moving forward in your business. And you think they’re kind of innocent, but just so you know, they’re your unconscious beliefs. They are the root system that has been buried in your foundation and that has been ruling the way you have done things up until now.
And when you step into this work and you start to transform and we start to cut away at those roots and it gets painful and loud and noisy, you’re just like, throw in the towel. It’s just way easier just to stay here than to worry about what other people say or think because what happens is once we pull the stump out, through all that agony or it’s actually just the emotions and you think it’s agony but it’s really just processing those emotions, that’s the work, it leaves a big gaping hole.
And the honest truth is that hole scares so many people because it’s like I don’t even know who I am in this circle anymore. I don’t even recognize myself. People are going to think differently about me or whatever your environmental agreement has been. When you step into your higher self, when you step into your higher power, when you start to create abundance, when your business takes off, when you lose the weight, when your relationships clean up, your whole entire environment changes, the root system has to change too for it to survive, for the changes to survive.
That’s why mindset alone does not work because you can’t logically make your way to the next level, because you don’t believe the new affirmation or the new thought because you don’t feel it. And what happens is your old belief system, your old roots create thoughts. Those thoughts create a feeling and then you react and respond to that feeling.
And that’s where things stop, that’s where I start in this actual process is, I’m super interested in getting into the root system. I’m super interested in finding out how you got to the point where you got. Now, do we need to know all of the stories and all of the details? Absolutely not. We just need to get to the point where you’re feeling those sensations and you’re willing to process them rather than the throw in the towel or run and go away.
You’re willing to actually begin to recognize, have awareness, that’s always the first step. Recognize that it’s just an old root system. It’s just an old story. It’s just the way things have been up until now. Once you recognize that, then you can see opportunity for moving forward.
What happens through at this point, you get this cognitive dissonance, which is part of you is like yes, I’m so excited, I can’t wait to step into this, I can already see the house and see the core and see the clients and already know what that’s going to be like. And then that other part of you that’s rooted in the old system is like no, this is too painful, this is too scary, who am I to do this, what’s going to happen, because your old experiences keep drawing you back to the old root system.
That, my friends, is why change is so hard. So start with – I’m going to give you some takeaways. Start with just becoming aware of your root system, which is your belief system. Where are they planted? In fertile soil? In just habitual soil? In someone else’s soil? Where do your roots go? What are they planted in? What is growing from those beliefs?
Who are you becoming if you keep those thoughts and beliefs? Because what a belief is is a thought thought over and over until it’s locked in and then you believe it. So yes, you can absolutely change that and turn it around, but if you change it and you’re still triggered by the old root system, by the old emotions, and you don’t have the awareness that it’s just that showing up again, then it makes it a little hard to take that next step and go forward.
So I just want to bring that to your attention today is just becoming aware. And the way you do that is by becoming present and notice the way you respond. Notice how you feel. Notice the thoughts in your mind and what you tell yourself. Notice when you’re feeling uncomfortable. What’s the fear? What’s the doubt? What’s the thought? What are you worried about other people thinking about you? What is the thought that’s creating the emotion? What is that rooted and grounded in?
So it’s just an awareness, just a presence. I talk a lot about you have to see it so that you can lift it so that you can shift it. This is the seeing part. You just want to see. What is it? And once you bring this awareness, you become the witness consciousness or the Christ consciousness or you become the see-er, the observer of your own life and then you can see the thoughts that lead to the emotions. It has to come first.
You can white-knuckle it, you can just do the positive affirmations for a while but eventually, eventually you will get to this point. So just know that if you keep quitting on yourself, if you keep self-sabotaging, if you find yourself stuck in the same thing forever and ever, like I have been a massage therapist for 10 years and I just can’t catch a break and I don’t know why clients don’t show up and I have to work on days that I don’t really want to work, or you’re a yoga teacher and you’re like, oh my god, I get 10 people in class then the next week there’s only two. Why am I not getting this?
Just know that your root system, your belief system is grounded in something that is creating those results. Here we go. Once you see it, then you can lift it, and that’s the unveiling part. That’s when you question the root system, like what is this grounded in, where does this come from, is it true? You start to ask these questions of yourself. Is it true? Who would I be without that thought? What if I didn’t think that? Would it be this way?
And then after that is when the shift starts to happen because you’re able to navigate your way into a different response because when you change your thought and that changes your feeling, then it changes the action that you take. So instead of throwing in the towel and quitting, rather than that, you’ll be more like oh, that’s when the old story comes up. That’s still a part, that’s still attached at the root.
That’s not me anymore, I don’t believe that anymore, I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid to grow, I’m not afraid to uproot, I’m not afraid to be planted somewhere else and be someone else and do something else. I can let that go, and then it’ll just release. And you just keep doing that over and over and over and over until you create the new.
I used to say it’s like pulling weeds and planting seeds. You know you got to pull the old weed out and then you plant the new seed and then you water it and then it grows. Well, after watching this root system and this stump and this process and it’s still not up yet, by the way. There’s broken roots all over the place because we’re pulling up all of the stuff that was around it so it looks like when new grey hairs popping out of your head, it’s like they’re spirally coming out of the ground and that’s what made me realize like, oh my god, our root system is so deep and embedded and so many people, so many relationships, so many experience, so many things, so many environments, it’s kind of like that.
Watching all of that come to the surface has been so impactful for me. So when you’re pulling weeds and planting seeds, it’s like yeah, just pull a weed, put a new seed, but not this. This is way deeper. And after I started watching the new life that was growing from the tree stump, even though we had cut the top off, that’s like us trying to make transformation and change come from our mindset, from our mentality, from our logic, from the top of us. From the neck up.
It didn’t stop. It didn’t stop the new growth. There was still stuff growing from the old root system. So that’s our old habits and behaviors. That’s why we keep doing the same thing over and over, and that’s why we keep getting the same results over and over. And then we’re annoyed and aggravated and we try to pour in the gas and the poison and we catch it on fire and we try cutting it shorter.
We try all of this stuff in our life, in our business. You’ll notice this like, oh, let’s run a special, let’s do a giveaway, let’s buy one you get two free or whatever your promotional mind, your marketing mindset is, start trying all of that stuff on the outside instead of going down into the old system and severing it and changing it from there.
Is that crazy? This is good. So think about it this way. When you’re watching that new life grow from the old stump, so you’re seeing this in your own life, you’re seeing the old behavior come back, you’re seeing the cognitive dissonance and you’re realizing like, I’m doing all of this stuff. It’s like what they say about insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting new results.
So it’s as if you see this stump and it’s a Bradford pear tree and you’re expecting a pecan tree to grow from it. It’s just not going to happen. So what’s happening here is we are reinventing ourselves. When we say I want more, we are signing up for this reinvention because to step into the entrepreneur self, to step into the shameless success, you have to reinvent yourself. All of you on all levels.
And we get little glimpses of it. We do this mindset thing and then something will get something back from it, get a result, and we’re like yes, this is so exciting, oh my god, I can keep doing it, but it’s short-lived because it’s coming from the logical mind. But if you can take that down a little bit further and start unrooting, start unburying, start pulling up, start cutting away this old stuff, then you can actually clean up that hole, clean up that big gap and start filling it with the new stuff that you want to bring into your life.
Clean it up first though. Don’t leave any of the roots there. Clean it up, clean it out, scrape it away. I call that residue. It’s old emotional residue and it’s old beliefs that samskaras is what we call it. It’s like old stuff that keeps getting triggered, but once we clean all that out, now you can put some fresh new soil, some fresh new beliefs and then you can start watering those and growing those and nurturing them and taking care of them.
And the longer you stay in that belief, in those new beliefs, then you start growing the new product, the new you, the new self, the new relationships, the new business growth or better health, or more wealth. What is it that you are looking to grow more of? You want it planted and grounded in that belief.
You don’t want to try to grow something new from the old belief system. That’s where the struggle comes from. So that’s my week. It’s been super fun. I’ve done some Facebook Lives with it and I mean, there’s so much more that I want to say about it, but to keep this short and to really dial it in, I really want to kind of repeat this.
So your beliefs are the same thing as this root system. What you have grown, what you have grown in, the environment that you’ve been brought up in, your past experiences and everything that life has shown you and taught you, everything that you’ve tried that you did succeed at, you will keep trying to do over and over and over as the new person, but you’re in the old root and belief system.
And so to truly be in the biology of belief or into the presence of belief, it’s really about becoming aware of the old stories that are still there, and then becoming aware that you no longer have to live by them, then you can release them, that you can let them sever, you can let them go. And when something does come up, this resistance, this fear, this cracking and popping and worry and anxiety or whatever it is that comes up, that that is normal.
It’s like loosening a tooth. It’s okay to feel it. It’s actually the worst thing that will happen is you will feel an emotion. And if you’re willing to process that emotion, if you’re willing to stay present and let it go, then it’s over and you just rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, and eventually you become the new root system, the new belief system. And then you can begin to live from a place of ease and flow and freedom and prosperity and abundance. So good.
Alright, I am so excited to have shared this with you. I hope you have some takeaways from it. So I’m not taking back my process about the pulling weeds and planting seeds. I still think that’s important and the same with the seeing, lifting, and shifting, but what I hadn’t seen is just how deep this is and why it’s so hard for people to let go of the old habits, behaviors, beliefs, patterns, conditioning because these roots grow so deep.
I’ll let you know as we get this stump out. We haven’t even tried. We just have the stump and all the roots are exposed right now and that’s basically what’s happening when you start this process. You’re exposed. You begin to expose the old beliefs so that you can unveil them and dismantle them.
So right now we’re just in the exposing process, which is the same as the awareness process, and you can only see this awareness and have this exposure when you are present. So instead of burning and dousing with gasoline or putting poison on it and trying to pretend like it’s not there, like the root system’s just going to die and go away, instead, know that it’s just some emotions and some feelings.
And that’s the worst thing that can happen is that you can feel those and you might experience some vulnerability, some shame, some humbleness, but it’s such a beautiful and worthy journey because this is where you grow that daring courage and confidence, and this is where you become, where you create more. It’s an amazing, beautiful journey.
This work is mind-blowing. Best thing ever is to actually have learned it and even more than that, to have the – I feel so grateful and blessed to be able to teach it and watch so many people transform their business, their lives, their relationships, their families, and to have front row seat to that has been such an honor in my life. Alright, until next week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of Integrative Life Coach Training for Health and Wellness Practitioners! If you’re feeling stuck on your journey to mind body integration, head over to KimGuillory.com to download your Stability First Meditation today.
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I’m so glad that everything in your root system has brought you to this point!! Love your podcasts!! You have found your place!!
Awww thank you for being part of my journey and following along Kristy.
Amazing !! Information you are so good at getting the point across
Thank you Denise! Appreciate you following along and doing the work!