Ep #245: What Do You Want, and What Are You Willing To Do?
Welcome to More Than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Hey there and welcome back to the show. So this week, I am contemplating on a couple of things, and I thought it would be a great topic for the show. So here he goes. You know we’re doing belief boot camp this week, and this is the, I think it’s the sixth time that I do believe boot camp. So we’ve done it in thought work and relationships. What do you want? What do you want to create in your business? And this time is all around money. Belief boot camp is mapping out what are your money beliefs. In this time, what do you want and what money beliefs do you need to have in order to get that?
Which brought me to the topic of this show, which is wants and willingness. I’m going to break down this and really understand it from a personal perspective. So what I see happening with coaches, business owners, and social media is many of my clients want what they see that someone else has, and they’re not quite sure what they want because they’re not clear around what’s possible for them, even if they just see it because of social media. It’s in our face all day long. I’m sure you can relate to what I’m saying. So really think about yourself for a moment. What do you want? And see if it can come from inside of yourself. What do you want, like in this moment? Do you want peace and contentment? Do you want to create change? Do you want something different in maybe your family or something to change from Generations before you until Generations after you, or do you want just a life of ease and flow? What do you as an individual want now think about all the things that you see that other people have and notice where some of your desire might come from watching what someone else has and how you think that might make you feel or might make you different in the world.
So come back to what do you want as a person, as an individual, and sometimes we have to take ourselves all the way back to when we were kids to remember what it is that we want before we were contaminated with all of the visions of what everyone else does. Just you as an individual, did you always want a calm life living in the country or living off the land, homesteading, having a couple of kids, or maybe just owning property and having horses? Like allow yourself to go back to that dream state before social media, before you saw other people doing all the things.
Now what does that feel like inside of your body? If it is like the homestead or the loud family with a bunch of kids, pitter-patter and barefooted, running down the stairs with crazy hair and like wanting to be in all the chaos of all of the activities that are going on in order to maintain that kind of household. Just notice what that feels like and see if you can remember wanting it. What do I want? I believe so many of us are caught up in what other people are doing, especially the big names with lots of followers and lots of attention, and they’re just like coming across your social media pages and your emails and YouTube and commercials, and you’re, it’s kind of glamorized business, right? Like these big names and big things. Notice what part of you pops out of what do you really want compared to what do you think you should want? What does your mind tell you about how some of that has been glamorized? Does it make you think that you should want that or that you’re supposed to want that?
This is a very deep topic that I have with many clients that they really just want to contribute. They want to be a part of helping someone else along, but they don’t really want a big business, and they don’t want to make a lot of money. They just want to help at maybe a small capacity. But then when they see all of that and then they try to go get what someone else has, it doesn’t align with them. It doesn’t feel right, and it actually creates a lot of pressure and a lot of conflict and confusion. So that’s the first part of today’s show: identifying what you want and also identifying what you see that your mind tells you you should want. I should want to have this big social media channel or this big following or do this big company thing. Notice what is you and notice what is your mind. What’s coming from inside of you and what’s coming from outside of you looking in your heart and your household and feeling what’s going on in your body. See if you can find where the separation is or when it happens. Maybe it’s every time you see it on social media. Maybe you pull away on the weekends and you take time with your family or with yourself, and then you feel like you have to come crawling out and going back into the war of attention or whatever it is that you have to do on social media. Notice if there’s a time when you’re on and a time when you’re off, a time where you’re supposed to be behaving a certain way and a time when you don’t or you don’t want to.
Because this is all about the wants, the first step: what do I want? Many people just want enough to be satisfied. They just want enough to have a little bit extra. But because there’s so much glamorization, they believe that they have to do what someone else does. And I see this in coaching. I see this in my own communities, and I ask a lot of questions. But there’s such a huge influence that it is hard to detect what is coming from that person and what is coming from the influence or from the indoctrination. So for you, just taking some time away, turn off social media and go and sit outside, squeeze the grass between your toes, go and walk by the water, walk on the land, and see if you can come back to what you truly want. What have you always wanted when you think back as far as being a little kid or before you were influenced by social media?
Now, the second part of this is about willingness. So this is what I want and this is what I’m willing to do to get it. And the reason I want to bring this up today is we, like I said, we’re doing belief boot camp. If you guys are catching this and it’s after the fact, then you can send an email and ask for the replay of it. So when you’re looking at what someone else does or what their following looks like or what they’ve built or created, and then you’re like adopting that as that is what I should want or that looks fun and interesting and I want to be, you know, do what they’re doing. They’re showing that it’s possible. When you take that in, also take in what they’re doing and ask yourself the question, am I willing to do that to get this? Am I willing to sacrifice some of that time being on the land, being with the horses, being with my family, that the thing that you truly desire, are you willing to sacrifice some of that to do what’s required to get the other thing? Such an important question. So when I’m working with coaches, clients, business owners, and they have that model to follow, right, like think about the 10x Community. It’s
10x everything, health, wealth, longevity, like all of the things. It’s like this 10x or 100x, right, and it’s a beautiful thing because it really, you can go inside and you can see where you are and then you can see what you’re willing to do to get somewhere else. But you have to ask yourself the question: Is that what I want or is that what I see someone else has and I think I should want it? My mind thinks I should want it. And if so, are you willing to do those things to get it? And this question is going to help you identify if it truly is what you want or if it’s what your mind thinks you should want. It is the difference between wanting and willing. Am I willing to give up something to have something else? So first identifying what do I want. Is it a family? Is it a garden? Is it art? Is it traveling the world, getting an RV, going to the mountain sides and the lakes and the rivers and exploring the animal kingdom? Or is it leaving a legacy, answering a call that you feel you are led to or fueled by? Do you want to create an impact in the world, or do you just want to live your life as it is? And where is that desire and that want coming from? Is it coming from influence from social media, from just some of the noise of the world, or is it coming from you? And are you willing to do what they do, whether it is spending a lot of time and energy and focus and creativity and money on getting the message across all the noise so that more people can see it and hear it and know about you? Just when I say that, what comes up for you? What are you thinking about? What are you feeling? Like hours of time and energy to get attention, hours making noise, attention-grabbing titles and information. For some people, it’s information, right? We’re teaching, and for other people, it’s just wanting to be. And so it’s like, “I am an interrupter. I am a change worker. I am someone who is breaking through old paradigms and generational patterns in order to achieve and experience something else, or I am just being. I’m being with what comes to me and through me. I’m experiencing life from that perspective.” Which one is you? And for those of you who may be both, can you detect what’s actually coming from you or what’s coming from the influencer?
I’ve been sitting with this for often on for years, but the last few days, like when I don’t do anything and I’m just in a state of being, which I’m a 62 in human design, so there is this hermit side of me that likes to go inside. I’m also emotional Authority, and so sometimes I’m riding these high waves, and sometimes I’m just kind of in the cave with the low waves. Neither are bad or good; one’s not better than the other; they both just are, riding the low wave, riding the high wave. That’s it, not even trying to attain the high or go down into the low, not making one better than the other, not judging them, not even comparing them, just acknowledging that I am both. It’s like when we hear these wise teachers tell us that there’s nothing to attain, there’s nowhere to go, it’s all about being in the moment, it’s all about now. And it’s like just moments in time where we’re experiencing life itself. And yet, there’s still a point to attain; it’s being sold or painted as peace and joy and ease and flow. When you’re in chaos and conflict and rumble, there’s still somewhere else to go instead of fully embracing the conflict, the chaos, the rumble. Can you see what I’m saying? It’s kind of meta when we think about it.
And listen, if you follow me, if you listen to me, if you watch my posts, you can tell when I’m in the high, you can tell when I’m in the low. Do we resist where we are, and we try to get somewhere else because we think it’s better, or do we stay in it and just ride out the waves as it comes and goes? I put up a post earlier today, and I was like, you know, there was a time where this was called bipolar or mentally ill or just not well or stable. I’m like it’s life; it’s who I am. Don’t put me in a box, don’t label me, don’t tell me how I am supposed to behave. And I’m wondering if you have the same boundaries. Just because I see it doesn’t mean I have to do it, just because I see someone else does it, doesn’t mean it’s meant for me.
What do I want and what am I willing to do to get it? So when I say that and I ask myself the question, I do want to create some sort of impact of my time here. I do want to experience new things. Like I am contemplating traveling internationally, and I really want someone else to travel with me, but I know that the experience is going to be the teacher for me, and it’s not going to be comfortable. But I don’t like, I’m scared of it; I desire it, I want it. Am I willing to travel alone? Am I willing to figure it out for myself? Do I want it because I see someone else doing it, or do I want it because I want it? And that’s what’s going to determine if I’m willing to do it or not. If it’s truly something that I want, I know what to do. I’ve got to wait for clarity. I’ve got to wait, I’m never 100% certain, but I do prefer moving with ease instead of like breaking down brick walls. So when I start to notice that I’m convinced that I’m pushing, that I am trying to force something, that I know my mind is now in control, and so I’m thinking about that with going to Spain. Like my mind has a lot of story around it, and I already have a flight booked. The flight’s no longer going to work, and like a lot of things have happened in the meantime, and then there’s seeing other people. I saw someone who’s in Barcelona, that’s in Madrid, and that’s in Ibiza on my Facebook last week, all three, like in one day. And I’m like, “I don’t want it because they are there; I want it because I want to see what it feels like to be on that island, to be surrounded by the water, and to be on a different land. So it is coming from me; I have tested it; I have waited. Am I willing to go through the changes? Am I willing to cancel the flight? Am I willing to go through the discomfort of being in another country with another language? Am I willing to go through some of the extra things that I’ll have to do at the airport because it’s international? Am I willing to do what I need to do in order to have what I want? Is there a match?
And so I wanted to talk about this today and for all of you to check it for yourself. Do I really want to have more kids? Do I want to
be married or stay married? Do I want to continue living here? Do I want to continue doing business the way I have done it? Do I want it because I want it or because I see someone else has it? And if it’s because I want it, am I willing to do what it’ll take to get it? So if you see someone with a million followers and they’ve been at this for 20 years before they finally hit big, are you willing to put in the 20 years? Are you willing to try and fall and fail and repeat and flounder around and keep going and keep going and keep going and keep going and keep going until it happens? Or are you willing to do it? If you’re going to take their vision, if you’re going to take their potential and their possibility as the model, or are you going to mimic the steps and the process to get there, or do you just want the endgame? Because most people who have sold a million books, who have helped a million people, who have made millions of dollars and helped millions of people, it didn’t happen overnight, guys. You’re looking at a minimum of 10 years. Even someone who happened to hit it had to go through their own trials and struggles in order to get it.
So that’s what I got for you this week. What do you want, and are you willing to do what it takes to get it? Do you want to just go with the flow? Do you want to just be in whatever the experience is for you in this lifetime, or do you want to go through some of the changes and experiences and reidentifying yourself? Because it does have a lot to do like our personality is our personal reality and the four steps: what do I want, what do I need to do to get there, who do I need to become, and what do I need to get rid of? So the way that you think, the things that you do, probably the people that you hang around with are the things that you’re going to have to let go of. The way that you think, the way that you act, the places that you are, and you’ll have to do something else. One’s not better than the other; which would you choose if that one’s not better than this one? Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be? What do you want your circle to look like? What are the thoughts you want to have? What are the experiences you want to have? Is it worth the time, energy, and effort, or are you just looking at what someone else is doing and being influenced? Doesn’t matter, neither is right or wrong here. It doesn’t matter, you know. There’s these times where I’m like it’s just moments in time, and it’s this moment that matters. And there’s other times that I’m just like this moment maybe doesn’t matter; maybe it’s just a moment that is; we just keep regurgitating, repeating history anyway, like there’s really nothing new; it’s just a different suit, a different bodysuit, a different outfit, a different character, and we’re just experiencing it in a different way.
So let me know. I’d love for you to give me feedback on the work that you’ve done through this. I’d love to hear. You can come into the free more than mindset Facebook group, share it with a friend, post it on social media, give us a rating and review. I’d love to hear what you think about the show. Have an amazing week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.