Ep #175: What is Holding You Back?

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started. 

Hey, hey, hey and welcome back. I am just returning from our event this weekend, which was the E-School Business Retreat in Atlanta at Serenbe. If you guys have not checked it out, you should. It’s a fabulous place, it was a great experience for everyone who came. This place is like a peek forward into the future, yet it’s got this very calm Mayberry type environment of the past. It’s pretty interesting.

I’ve been here several times, I’m sure you’ve heard me talk about it if you’ve been listening to the podcast. The very first time I went here I just knew I was going to be hosting a retreat. It’s kind of the house in Gulf Shores, that happened and then before I knew it we were there and we used the space for a few years. So I had the same feeling when I was here. And we are going to be having a pretty big event there next October. So just letting you know that ahead of time.

We dove into all things business and personal transformation of what is holding you back from doing that now, which is what I’m going to talk about on the show today. So there’s a lot of talk, right? Oh, I want to host an event here one day. Oh, I want to be a millionaire. I want to have a business, And talking about the vision. The problem is, are you showing them what you are talking about?

That really was the theme of the event. There is something about what we’ve been doing, which is talking about it, dreaming about it, thinking about it, which is an important part of the process. But then you have to take the actions moving forward towards it.

In other words, I didn’t just go to this event center and claim that I was going to be hosting there. I actually continued to live it until I did it. But I took the actions even though I didn’t have the evidence, I didn’t have the tangible proof that anyone was going to pay for it, was going to come, was going to sign up for it or any of that. But I lived it anyway.

And that’s what I want to talk about on the show today. And this is also something that I really wanted to add to last week’s, because it was possibly one of the biggest takeaways that I got from Top Gun. Which is don’t tell them, show them. Don’t tell them it’s possible, show them it’s possible.

And so if you guys watched the show after being encouraged last weekend, that was really important. It was really important to me, it was important to the theme of the show. But it was also very personal because the week before I had a conversation with my family about it. About what I wanted to create, or what I wanted to be a part of or to contribute.

And that is what my son said, as well as what my husband said. Prove it. Show it, do it. If you want us to believe you, don’t talk about it, just go. Just go do it. So I’m going to ask you, are you doing what you say you want? Or are you just talking about it? Maybe even teaching someone else to do it, right? Which is a no go for a 6/2 in Human Design, that is a hypocrite. A 6/2 cannot tell other people to do it if they’re not willing to do it themselves because that is not a role model.

You show them. You become it. You live it. And by that living it, you’re showing the possibility. You’re proving the potential. And this goes for your personal and professional life because how you do anything is how you do everything. And it will bleed over into other areas.

And especially in E-School I hear a lot about dreams. Consultations that are asking about growing their business that come in and they’re telling me how much they want it, what they believe. And then they don’t take the next step because they don’t trust themselves that they’re going to do it. Or they don’t trust themselves that they will do it.

So what that would look like is, what if I fail? Then I’m going to make a fool of myself and I’m going to prove I’m unworthy… Or what if I actually do it? Then what? Because we are so attached to what was, we don’t know how to step into what is and what can be. Because of that attachment, because of those memories.

And when we continue to talk about the vision, talk about the vision, talk about the vision, it gets exhausting to those around us. Talking about getting fit, getting in shape, going to the gym, starting yoga, I’m going to start a meditation practice. And then we see you or talk to you six months later and you say the same thing.

Now, I get it, it takes a few times to actually create the habit and become the person. But do you just stop and talk about it? Or do you continue taking the steps, trying, assessing, trying again, maybe doing it a different way?

So when I owned the gym, the fitness gym, I had a ladies fitness 20 years ago, over 20 years ago, that people would come and quit, come and quit, come and quit, I would get so discouraged. And I wanted to like go pick them up at their house and exercise with them. Which was impossible, right? Because I was going to have to be exercising all day long because they all came at different times.

Even when I started the classes I was like, “Look, I’ll be accountable with you, I’ll do it with you. Let’s pick certain times, I’ll do it in the morning and the evening.” Like I even picked multiple times during the day and they wouldn’t show up.

So it had nothing to do with the class times, it had nothing to do with gym equipment. And it had everything to do with their lack of discipline and commitment because they were talking about it, they were not doing it. There’s nothing fun about that part except for the results.

Even riding my bike, it’s not different in business than it is in your personal life. I am committed to riding 10 miles every day, whether it’s on the Peloton or on the bike outside, or doing some form of exercise for at least 30 to 60 minutes, or yoga. I am committed to moving my body in a way that feels good and pushes me into discomfort, pushes me out of the norm so that I can practice discipline.

So that I can practice being in action. So that I can get different results. So that I can become a different person or have a different personality, a personal reality. So I still look like who I am but the action, the act of acting, the taking the steps grows the muscle of being the new identity.

So you practice becoming and you can’t get that in talking. It’s impossible. Sitting around talking about it, that’s like sitting around with a bag of chips talking about losing weight, it’s just not going to work.

So if I could encourage you to take a closer look at what are you saying you’re going to do? And how long have you been saying it? How many times have you said it? So you write that on the left side of the page. Every time you say it, every time you think it, every time you tell another person, every time you describe it, you dream about it, you write about it, all of the things.

Now, on the right hand side of the paper write down the date and the times that you actually did something that took you towards it. One thing, anything. And look at the difference in the list, the length of the list. Way more talking than acting. And it’s exhausting. It’s exhausting for you and it’s exhausting for those around you who keep hearing it over and over and are invested in believing in you.

It affects those around you because we get personally invested. I’ll pray for you. I’ll hope for you. I’ll wish for you. I’ll cheer for you. I’ll root you on, right? And then eventually it just sucks the life out of that and it gets really exhausting for other people.

And the reflection for that is what is your story? What’s your reason? What’s your excuse for not taking the act? Because if you’re not writing that down, then you won’t be able to tweak it, to reframe it, to change it, to interrupt it. So you have to have the awareness of what you tell yourself in the excuse phase.

So it looks like you think it, then you say it. So you think it to yourself, then you say it to someone else. Then you do what you say. That is the part that is missing. So tell me what you do instead. So you thought it, you said it, and now what are you doing? And I’ll give you a hint, it’s a direct correlation to what you’re getting and what you’re living.

So you don’t have to even tell me what you’re doing because you are showing me by the results that you are living. So for some of you it may be your business that you’re growing, the business that you’re building. And you’ve been saying it for multiple years maybe. And because you think it, you say it. But then you do something else, then you get the result of the something else.

Look at it the same way with weight loss, gym habits, and even conversations and relationships. Talking about the marriage that you want but not taking different steps, not taking different actions. And then continuing to live a settled life in all areas because how you do anything is how you do everything, so it is affecting you everywhere.

So I hope that this gives you something else to think about, like maybe calling yourself out, right? Because I’m not calling you out. I am human just like you and I’m telling you from the 6/2 perspective that when I say it and I don’t do it, I actually live with the disappointment in myself and the lack of confidence in myself.

Do you see what I’m saying? So those who lack confidence, it’s because they don’t practice discipline. When you practice discipline, you become the person who does as you say you will do. And then you become confident because you trust yourself. You believe in yourself and you don’t say things that you won’t do. Therefore, what you think, you say, you do, and you become. Got a little twist there, right? But can you see it? I’m just describing it in a few different ways, but it is the same thing.

So do the exercise, come into the More Than Mindset group and share it. What was the awareness? What is the action that you are taking that’s driving the results that you do have? And what could you do different? How could you tweak it? How could you put yourself in a different position by actually doing the thing instead of saying the thing?

Maybe you could even go on a diet. It’s like for the next seven days I’m going to go on the claim it diet where I don’t claim anything, I only do the thing, right? That would be super interesting. I would challenge you to even do it for 24 hours.

And I’m saying this because I talk to so many business owners. I hear it everywhere and it’s the same ones that are not getting the results. You’re not not getting the results because there’s so many other people doing what you do, or because social media is BS, or like all the reasons that you think you’re not doing it, that you think are the problem. It’s not, it’s the lack of action. Too much talking, not enough doing.

And so that is a challenge for you this week. Don’t teach and talk about it being possible, show others and yourself that it is possible by taking action repeatedly, committing to doing it consistently until you actually create new results and become the new person, the new identity. You up for it?

So I want to make sure you guys know about the business liftoff challenge that is happening at the end of June. And if you’re listening to this at a later time, we always have this going on here and there, it’s something that we run a few times. And some of you may have done it the last time. It is a fabulous challenge or workshop where we help you take the next step. We help you get clear and paint the vision. And you take the step because you have the help and the support to take the next step.

So that is coming up, the link is connected to the podcast. I would love to see you there and to help you take action. This is not just a challenge where I just talk. It’s an actual workshop where you do the work, you do the thing. We go over it, you make decisions, and then you take actions to move you forward.

So if you have been settling and stuck in your vision, in your business, in saying the thing but not doing the thing, this is for you. Make sure you come and join us. I’ll be there all week, we’ll have a morning and evening class so that everyone has the opportunity no matter what time zone you’re in. Let’s get some things shaken up.

So consider that my invitation or your something to respond to. And I’ll just leave you with talk is cheap, action creates traction. So which do you prefer? Do you want to continue talking about it? Or do you want to create it? Become it? Do it, right? Just think about Nike, just do it. Let’s go play, let’s see what we can come up with, what we can create in the world just for the fun of it.

Just let go of trying to make it perfect or being serious about it. It’s like the mind wants to make it such a big deal, right? So serious, like what if it fails? What if I missed something? So what? What if you do? What if you did? It can’t possibly be worse than continuing to talk about it and not taking action? All right. Let me know how it goes.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.