Ep #232: What is Self-Healing?

 

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Ep #232: What is Self-Healing?

Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach, Kim Guillory, and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello and welcome back. I am just returning from Nashville and I’m home for a couple of days and heading to Las Vegas. I am presenting at a hypnotherapy conference. I’m going to be talking all about hypnotherapy and coaching and business and making money and creating impact and helping people. How does that sound to you? Alrighty, my friends, this week as you know, the podcast from last week was called was all about self-mastery.

So, this week I want to break down the term self-healing. What does it mean to you, what does it mean to me, what does it mean to the public in general? And so, I’ve been asking a few friends, I’ve posted in a few groups and gotten a variety of feedback on the perception of self-healing, so I thought it would be a great topic for this week’s show. So, let’s start with self that is just the individual being right and then we’ll break down the term healing. Now I pulled this up in the dictionary just for you.

Healing is the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again. So, the term self-healing is how do you help yourself, like, what is the process for you becoming sound and healthy again? When I use the term self-healing, I am talking about health, wealth and relationships, not just the physical body, and not just like I don’t talk to my parents anymore, or my kids haven’t spoken to me in 10 years, or my friend is now hanging out with my ex-husband. Like those are unhealthy relationships, would you agree?

So, if you were healing relationships, it would be healing the communication barriers. Like what is causing that? What stops a relationship from being healthy? Manipulation, control, feeling responsible for someone else, trying to control someone else’s actions in order for you to feel a certain way, not communicating clearly, misunderstanding each other and holding a grudge. These are the reasons that relationships are unhealthy, because either one is trying to be authority of the other, trying to control the other so that they can get something like I need you to be this certain way, to think this thing and to do this in order for me to get so, I need you to behave in a way that makes you responsible for how I feel or for the results that I get in my life. I think that’s unhealthy.

So, how can we heal relationships? It’s through communication and understanding. It’s through awareness. How can we heal the physical body, physical symptoms? It’s the same thing. Unhealthy or not.

Well, is communication or lack of communication between yourself and your body? So, symptoms, illness and disease, and chronic pain, or signs that you could also call language. It’s the way the body relates to you. It sends signals. It’s the way it communicates. Something is off. I’m feeling this way because I’m doing something that’s out of alignment.

I’m doing something I really don’t want to do, I’m forcing something, and then there is a separation. So instead of having mind, body and self, you now have, this is myself and this is what I have to do, that I really don’t want to do. And then your body begins to portray symptoms. Some people could call this materializing or manifesting Illness and disease and think of the word disease as dis-ease.

The lack of ease in the physical body is created from the lack of communication between yourself, your desires and the way you show up in the world, the way you think about yourself, because we see this everywhere but we’re not really aware, because we’ve been indoctrinated to believe that it is normal and natural to be unhealthy, and so we take on that belief that disease is okay, it’s normal, it’s good, it’s great. What if we took on the belief that wellness is great and normal?

What if we did the opposite? It’s just as possible. If thoughts can make you sick, thoughts can also make you well. If beliefs can hold you back, beliefs can always move you forward. Also, can you see how it’s the ability to shift the way that you believe things are? And so self-healing is about healing perception. It’s about healing personality, and personality is your personal reality personal, as in the lens that you see life through.

My personal reality is that life is crappy, people hurt me, money is hard to come by and my body falls apart as I age. That is like a personality. It’s a personal reality that someone creates for themselves through indoctrination, through conditioning, through belief systems that have been passed down, whether it’s in your family or society or religion. That’s kind of irrelevant. It’s going to be one of those.

We have been told a lot of misinformation, we’ve been misguided, and now using the word self-healing is all about self-mastery and bringing us back to personal responsibility and empowerment, so we can be empowered and in control of our self, the way that we think, the way that we feel and the way that we move through the world. So, we could interchange self-healing and self-mastery.

Can you see where the two are very closely related? So, in these questions that I’ve been asking about what is self-healing? I’m getting a lot of conditioning from the spiritual world, from the holistic worlds, from the cosmos, some law of attraction stuff. But, guys, I’m talking on a real, practical level who are you and do you believe you have the right to fully express as that person or that identity in this material world? That is self-mastery, which is self-healing, it is the right to claim your individuality and your freedom and be who you are, not who someone told you could or couldn’t be.

So that’s in the physical realm health, the body. And then in relationships, it’s communication. So, in the body, it’s communication between yourself and your body and your understanding about what wellness is. And then in relationship, taking back your sovereignty, I know who I am, whether you approve of me or not, whether you like me or not. Like I do not have to be emotionally or physically manipulated in order for you to like me so that I can give myself permission to like myself.

Codependency, people pleasing, classic martyrism and victimhood is the norm until we attain the awareness that it’s not. We have been taught as small children to be nice, to give your toys, to give your food to someone who needs it more than you do. We have been hammered with this stuff. It’s not safe to have more to be better to like. We saw this with the example on social media with this submarine thing. Right because there were billionaires on board.

They deserved less empathy and compassion, right? Because you don’t have problems if you have money. That’s kind of what society thinks that you deserve. Suffering you have more than others. You deserve to get the diagnosis your kid deserves to be. A problem Like that is the classic victim martyr.

Jealousy, envy and how it’s interpreted. Can we change that so that we can have a better life? Can you see that? It’s been indoctrinated in all of us. An example of that would be a big business, big box business store and having people who are in need and then the person says, well, they should provide that or pay for that because they can, so they should give it to the less fortunate. Now listen, I’m all about charity and giving to the less fortunate.

That’s not at all what I’m saying. Don’t misinterpret me. I’m talking about the entitlement of it, of the even being able to think and say that, and how it really takes our self-sovereignty and responsibility away, because there’s this little thing in the back of our mind that says, if I have all that, then I’ll be left out, then I won’t like be friends anymore, then they’ll talk about me and your brain is like it’s going to be unsafe if you get all that and then you get caught in that mess and that is why we become unwell, that is why physical symptoms show up in the body and that is why relationships become severed.

Now this is the part about the money. When I say health, wealth and relationships, it is not safe to be wealthy, because then they’re going to think differently of me. They’re going to think I deserve to suffer because I have more of something else. Right, it’s just our humanness. It’s the human condition. We judge and compare, and that is due to competition and that is why we suffer.

If you truly felt that you had permission to be and do all that you want, then there would be no need for that. You wouldn’t have the envy and the jealousy and the hate and the judgment and the comparison and the wishing silently wishing bad on those people, because you would be giving yourself permission to be like them also.

So that is self-healing when you can see from a different perception, when you change your lens from victim to victor, when you no longer see that life happens to you or craps all over you or bad things are always coming your way, when you switch that to life moving through you and having availability and accessibility to everything that you want in your health, in your relationships and in your finances. Because, let’s face it, we’re not well if we’re not wealthy. Because you can’t take care of your everyday needs if you don’t have money. You have to have money to have a good life on the material plane.

This earthly life requires money, and a lot of your pain and suffering comes from you not giving yourself permission to want more of it. And so, when you deny it, you’re denying the energy of it, you’re denying the currency of it. Can you see that? It’s not just like why do people do that anyway? It’s almost like, oh, I don’t need that, I’m not like that, I’m not all about money, I would do it even if I didn’t get paid. I don’t need money.

And then you actually become someone that has to be cared for by the government or by the people around you or by your family. Is that what you want? Like? I would much rather claim my abundance and my authority and my individuality and to be able to take care of my own damn needs and I don’t have to depend on the government. I did that before. It is not fun, by the way, to sit in a welfare office with a baby, without a house. It’s not fun.

You do not want to become that. I promise you. It is not a goal to attain. I am way happier and way healthier working for what I want. It feels way better, it’s more satisfying, it’s more empowering. I love taking personal responsibility for what I want. I love claiming abundance and I’m just going to leave this with you today, like ask yourself, why are you afraid to claim abundance in your life?

Because that is self-healing. When you get to the point to where you are worthy and you are deserving and you don’t need anyone else telling you that, you don’t need anyone else approving, you will have the confidence within yourself to achieve whatever you want. And if they have a problem with that, let them go lick their own wounds and you continue being the example of self-healing and self-mastery. Both of those are required.

Self-mastery is the ability to manage your mind. It’s the only thing no one can take from you is the way that you think, and to be able to feel and deal with your emotions without vomiting them on top of someone else, trying to take your pain away. If I feel bad, they should feel bad. They made me feel bad Like I’m going to emotionally manipulate someone and make them feel bad so I can get what I want.

That is not self-mastery, that is manipulation. So, the way that you think, being able to control your thoughts, your ability to manage your mind, your ability to feel and deal with your emotions and manage your emotions this way, you don’t take on anyone else’s and you don’t throw yours on someone else. Instead, you have the ability to be with what’s going on an emotional level, allow it to pass through and then come back to emotional stability or regulation.

So, the way you manage your mind, the way you manage your emotions and the way you move through the world, things that you do that create the results that you have that is self-mastery.

I want to travel. I have the ability to earn money. I don’t care what position you are in. You have the ability to earn money. You have the ability to care for yourself, especially today with the online business world, like you can make money creating something on TikTok, selling stuff for someone else, being a representative of someone else’s work, and you can get paid a commission a part of it. There are so many opportunities. But you have to change the lens and you have to step into self-mastery so that you can self-heal.

And self-heal just means that you take the power and control from yourself to create what you want. You don’t depend on a system. You don’t depend on anyone else to do it for you not the priest or the guru or the doctor. You know what I’m talking about. All those things out there that we give our authority to.

Self-mastery is discovering that authority and that sovereignty from within yourself, claiming abundance, I want it because I want it. That’s it. It is the new human condition to be a part of abundance, to accept and receive, to create and attain in this material world and have whatever I want, just because I want it. And if you have a problem with that, that is your guilt to go heal, not mine.

And if all of us took personal responsibility for that and we all became an example of that, can you imagine what your environment would be surrounded by? It is no one else’s job or duty to care for your mental and emotional and financial and spiritual state of being. It is yours and that is self-healing. It’s the day that you wake up and you take responsibility for what you want to create.

Keyword, you are willing to experience discomfort from breaking the old patterns, because that’s the hardest part. It is very uncomfortable when you stop doing those old things, when you make that decision I’m no longer going to eat sugar, I’m no longer going to drink alcohol, I’m no longer going to tolerate bullshit, I’m no longer going to people, please, I’m not going to be manipulated by your emotions when you make that decision to stop doing that, when you cut that away.

It is going to be very uncomfortable, and you are going to feel your nervous system fire up and you’re going to feel anxiety and stress and discomfort. It just is. Go find the podcast. It’s called the Cycle of Transformation. It’s on the YouTube channel, it’s in the podcast, it’s all over my social media. Just Google it and you will see, when you make a decision to do things differently, that these systems are going to kind of break apart because you have to claim the new identity. You have to become the new person.

So if you want to attain something new, you got to determine what is the goal. What is it that I want? Who do I want to become? What is it that I want to experience? Do I want to find an amazing partner or a new best friend? Maybe you outgrew your best friend.

They’re no longer want anything to do with you because you’re not behaving the way you used to. That happens, I know it’s happened. It’s very painful. So maybe it’s finding someone new to be in a relationship with, someone who’s going to celebrate your wins instead of trying to emotionally manipulate you and make you feel guilty and bad about it. Maybe it’s making more money in your business. Maybe it’s serving people at a higher capacity. Maybe it’s buying a home. Maybe it’s buying a new car. What is it for you?

You have got to first determine what is the goal that you want to achieve, and then you have to lay out what is the path in math. So, what is going to be required? Two plus two is four, and how am I going to get four? So, what’s the math and the path? And then the third thing who do I need to become in order to receive that, in order to attain that, in order to maintain that? Who do I need to become, because we all know you can lose 50 pounds, not change your identity, and gain it right back plus some. So, you have to become that newer version of yourself that’s willing to maintain and sustain that belief as you’re moving through the discomfort.

And the very last thing is you have to decide what do I need to cut away? What do I need to step away from? What needs to stop? Maybe it’s someone I no longer engage with, or maybe when I’m with that person, I manage my mind and I don’t engage with the capacity that they’re trying to engage with me.

Maybe it’s getting rid of scarcity thinking and being around poverty-minded people. Maybe it’s getting away from that victimhood and martyrism. Maybe it’s stepping out of those conversations. Maybe it’s cutting away all the stuff that your family has ever taught you and you’re taking a stand to do something different. It’s going to be uncomfortable either way.

So set the goal, determine the math and the path, determine who you need to become and start being that person right now. It starts now. It’s not going to be any more comfortable when you get there. I promise you, if anything, if you haven’t done step three, when you get to the goal, you’re going to lose it.

So, you got to do this part, and the very last part is determined what you’re going to cut away, what you’re going to stop doing, who you’re going to stop being, what you’re going to stop talking about. And it’s like when someone decides to quit drinking alcohol what are you going to take up? Who are you going to become?

So, it’s like if I no longer want to stay in the bars and drink and I want to become a gym rat, then I got to give up the bars and I got to become the person who puts on my gym clothes and gets my butt to the gym. Right, it’s super simple. This is not rocket science, I promise you. It’s just hard because our brain doesn’t want us to be uncomfortable and it keeps showing us visions and pictures of what can go wrong. And that’s its job. Its job is to protect us.

And if you stick with these four things write them down, maybe it’s multiple times a day you come back to them and you don’t have to walk around, cut people away, throw them in the ditch and tell them that they’re no good. That’s never going to work either, because truth is, most of us who have decided to create change are still living in that environment, because we love these people and we love that part of our life, but we no longer want to buy into their rules of not having what we want.

So, I’m going to invite you to self-mastery, self-healing, stepping into the flow of abundance and begin to question why you haven’t gotten it yet. That’s going to be the best lead in for what you need to work on. So, I don’t have that money because I’m not in that relationship like you. Just need to finish the sentence and determine what is in the way right now and that’s what you’re going to go and change. So, you just pick one thing. So, come in to the More Than Mindset Facebook group, let me know what that is.

All right, have an amazing week. I will see you guys after the Vegas events. So, I wish you well. Know that it’s not going to be easy, but it’s not easy to stay where you are either, because before you know it, you’ll wake up and realize that you don’t have a lot of time left, and I don’t know why that’s required for us.

We like to be pressured about not having time. We just keep procrastinating and putting off. But I’m hoping that this maybe wakes you up a little bit quicker, so you have a little more time. If you know family and friends who would get something from this podcast.

I ask you to please share and give us a rating and review and let us know if you are enjoying it.

Have an amazing week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.