Ep #77: Why We Don’t Heal

Welcome to More than Mindset. The only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion, to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.

Hello, hello, and welcome back to the show. I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. I have to tell you, the weather’s been kind of nice out here in Louisiana. We’ve had a few summer downpours, it’s kind of washed the dust away. And it seems that the humidity is not so high, it’s been rather pleasant, we’ve been having these nice little breezes. I am happy. My puppy is happy. My babies are happy. I mean, what more can we expect, right? A whole bunch of happy people.

So everything has been great up here at the ankle of the boot, it’s how I like to call this. If you know the boot of Louisiana, the way it’s shaped, we’re right there at the ankle, right in the center in a rural area.

Anyway, today we are talking about my favorite topic, that is healing. I am going to talk about three reasons why people don’t heal. I hear this all of the time. “Kim, I’ve read all the books. I’ve tried all the things. I go to the massage therapist, the chiropractor, I meditate, I do yoga, I do acupuncture and energy work. Seriously, I’ve done it all and I’m just not getting it, what’s going on?” And I’m like, “Guys, I’ve heard it all and I also tried it all, I get you.”

And some of you are practitioners and that’s part of the problem because your thoughts about I should not be experiencing this, I should know better, and my clients should be getting better results. That’s a big part of the hang up here is there is a piece of the puzzle missing but you are dogging yourself, blaming yourself. And we want to kind of like work through some of that stuff this week. So I get it.

I also am a practitioner and I still found myself face down on the floor for 16 weeks. I don’t know if you guys remember the story. I talked it about earlier on in the podcast. I had six months of excruciating pain, but 16 weeks where I couldn’t get off of my belly off the floor. So a lot of the experience that I’ve gained is through my own personal healing journey. And let’s just say, healing is not just about the physical body. I’m talking about healing your life. So, your health, your wealth, relationships, it’s not just about the body suit, the human container.

Your limiting beliefs around money also need to be healed. Your relationships with yourself, your family, even childhood wounds, like things that happened in sixth grade, kindergarten, high school, all of it. Healing doesn’t always look like mending a physical injury. We have so many emotional wounds from life’s events, disappointments, mean ass people, these mean people. And I recall being in this feeling of discontent, unhappiness, this feeling of empty where there was nothing really wrong but yet there was always something wrong. Can you relate to that?

It’s like this empty void and that also needed to be healed. I was so used to living in survival that my brain would not adapt to ease. Seriously, it was always problem solving rather than being, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn’t know how to feel safe, secure, desired, wanted, I didn’t know how to feel that. It was unfamiliar. I didn’t know people wanted to be around me or with me.

I was so used to believing that I was alone, weird, different, I could not receive compliments or ever feel like I was sincerely invited to an event. I was thinking, yeah, people are just faking it, they’re just being polite, being nice because they feel like they have to invite me. And today I’m talking about how I finally healed and three reasons I discovered about why we don’t and how you can begin to change it today.

So, first let’s talk about what is it to say heal, what does that word mean, heal? It’s to become sound or healthy again, alleviate a person’s distress or anguish. And that’s what I mean by it’s not necessarily in the body suit, it’s not necessarily in physical form. Here’s the thing, it’s more than your physical body, it’s more than your emotional state and it’s more than your life’s purpose to suffer. What?

I said that, these are the three questions I used to ask when I was trying to figure this out. I would go to the doctor, the counselor, the spiritual director, whoever, whoever would see me and I would ask this question. I was like, “Is it like I am so depressed because there is something wrong with my brain? Is it seriously a chemical in my brain and this is something I inherited from my family?” Because all of my family has these issues, my mom left and left her kids, so surely she was depressed, there had to be something wrong with her.

Or is it a hormone imbalance? Because I had hormonal issues and I had surgeries, and I actually had a full hysterectomy at the age of 29, which that would make you feel bad shit crazy. And so I was wondering, is it because my hormones are out of whack that I’m feeling this?

And then my third question was, “Is this a dark night of the soul? Is this a spiritual awakening? Is this just my healing spiritual journey, my path to heaven?” This is the suffering we have to go through in order to get there. I swear to you, I asked these three questions for 24 years over, and over, and over.

And I had a client this week who asked me the same question. I was like, “I don’t even need to hear what you’re thinking, I know exactly where you’re coming from.” I described it, it’s this feeling of something is off. I don’t know what it is, it’s just like there’s something missing. So I’m not sure if you guys can relate to this, but that also requires healing. Remember, it’s like becoming sound and healthy, alleviating a person’s distress or anguish, so we can heal our life.

But let’s talk about the three reasons why we don’t, because just admit, there’s probably 90% of the population that has something to heal from that has no idea about this work.

So the very first reason is we – I’m putting myself with you guys, we believe there is something wrong with us. And you know what? That is just the human condition. Yes, we believe there is something wrong with us. We believe we’re unworthy, we’re unwanted, we’re a mishap, we’re not supposed to be here, or the way we are is not how we’re supposed to be. We believe there is something wrong with us personally. And we don’t recognize that’s actually just the way the human is conditioned. It’s part of our journey.

Reason number two, heard from our family, the medical community about aging and the bodies just break, it’s just what happens when you get old, it’s just how it is. Bodies are not meant to last forever, and so it is suggested about this stuff that is hereditary and if it happens before and it’s just the way it is. And even if you’re not afraid of being broken and then you hear about someone who’s been diagnosed with this weird thing, your mind starts thinking about it.

And then you start go and research it and then you find other things. That’s where kind of wanting to kind of meet together is because we believe there’s something wrong with us and we don’t recognize it, it’s just a human condition to think that, that we actually go on the research to find the evidence. And that’s where we hear the evidence from our family and the medical community about aging and the way the body just breaks down.

And I remember hearing, “Well, that’s just aches and pains, that just comes, that’s natural, that’s how it is when you get old.” Guys, I want to tell you that is BS, BS standing for belief system. That is someone’s belief system and you do not have to adopt it. That is their belief system, it is not true. I hurt way less in my 50s than I ever, ever did in my 20s, 30s, 40s, promise you.

Reason number three, we don’t understand the way our body, brain and beliefs work. We’re just so used to hearing the same thing and we let it slide, we don’t question it. We don’t understand that this is just the brain, the way we understand the mind, what we think, what we believe, so what that means is we think it over, and over, and over until it is a belief.

A belief is just a thought that is most repeated, okay, and then it turns into a belief, and then it is created in the body. What? Yes, first comes in as an idea, as a thought and then you contemplate. And then your brain looks for evidence and then it creates, magic, guys, right there, that’s the magic bullet. But you have to remember, we don’t understand the way our body, brain and beliefs work. And it is because we are so used to hearing the evidence.

We’re so used to hearing, 90% of humans say it, and it is solidified by the industries. And then we just let it slide because that’s just the way it is. We don’t question it, we don’t enquire, we don’t challenge it, we just take it on, just completely hypnotized by it.

So I’m going to repeat those for you, three reasons we do not heal. We believe there is something wrong with us and we don’t understand that that’s just part of the human condition to believe that. It’s just a thought that we believe.

Number two, we’ve heard it from our family, from the medical community that our bodies are supposed to hurt and we are supposed to get sick. And it’s been suggested that this just happens as you get older, it’s naturally normal.

And number three, we don’t understand the way our body, brain and beliefs work, and we just let whatever we’ve been told, slide without challenging it.

So now we know three of the main reasons why we don’t heal, so what do we do about that? The mind learns through repetition. So you learn by uncovering, releasing what’s not true, getting rid of the BS, the belief system, getting rid of that story, the belief story, whatever you want to call it. We identify it so that we’re aware of it. And then we change the dialog. And so that’s telling our mind something different on repeat, a thought repeated until it’s believed.

So I’m going to give you a few suggestions here, I’m going to do it in both ways. You are not broken. Your body is not faulty. You have the natural ability to heal. Your body is resilient, strong, super smart. Your body knows exactly how to realign itself.

And then I’m going to turn it around, so that’s me talking to you. And now you’re going to say this to yourself. And you can tap while you’re doing this. You can tap on the side of your eye, on your cheek, you can tap on the chin, you can tap on the top of your head, you can tap on the thymus, and say, “I am not broken. My body is not faulty. I have the natural ability to heal myself. My body is resilient. My body is strong. My body is super smart. I am super smart. My body knows exactly how to realign itself.”

Put that on replay, say it into your voice memo on your phone, hear it back every single day over, and over, and over. The minute you feel something going on in your body, say this. So type it up in your phone, in your notes and just say it to yourself over, and over, and over. And then allow that to become the new beliefs.

So here’s a couple of things that you can do when this comes up for you. Step one, be willing to explore, settle down, get still, get quiet, seek information, challenge things that you hear. When people say that, how they get old and it hurts since they’re however, guys, I promise you, if you have a conversation with any human, they’re always talking about this. So just start to notice, settle down, get still in your own body, get quiet and start seeking information. Take a breath and just notice, don’t be in a hurry, don’t try to go anywhere else, just be right here.

And then begin to research and question and find things out for yourself. Don’t listen to what you’ve been told, start asking questions, just start Googling it, start reading books, start finding out information that is new and different.

And then the third step, notice habits and behaviors, notice that you’re hearing the same dialog that you’ve been taught. Just notice and then do something different, in other words, go against what you’ve always done. So if I feel stiff today, I need to just sit down, it’s like, oh no, I feel stiff today, I need to go move. Do the opposite of what you have habitually been doing. So you want to change your habits and behaviors.

Step four, visualize yourself as a whole healthy person living a happy life. So start with bridging, in other words, seeing other people who are doing it. You can use me as an example, you can use people who are in the More Than Mindset group. They’re always posting about how their life is changing and how much better they feel and how they have healed their life. So use the examples of others and then visualize yourself doing that also. So what you’re doing is selling yourself on the belief.

And the fifth step is choose to believe it, so much so that you commit to it. And then you begin to act as if it’s true today, that simple. Just choose to believe it, commit to it, behave as if it were true and just keep repeating that over, and over, and over. Guys, the way to change your life is to first be aware of what is your life, who are you? What is true? You have to start asking those questions.

You have to get present in the life that you have now, because most of us live in the past, we live in regret and we live in like did I do it right? I don’t want to do it wrong again. I’m not sure how that happened, I want to avoid it. We live in the past and then we move to the future, we go into worry, we go into anxiety, and tension, and stress.

And so as long as you are looking back and you are regretting, or you are depressed, or you are not able to see in front of you, you’re not able to see forward without worry, you are not present. Because if you are worrying, you’re making up the worst case scenario in your mind and you are sitting in that and actually creating the experience of it now. So you want to change what you want to create to this new visualizing yourself as a whole healthy being.

And if you can’t imagine it for yourself, you want to bridge it by imagining it’s possible for someone else. And then once you believe it’s possible for someone else, question it, like if it’s possible for them, what if it’s also possible for me? Because that’s just kind of how it is, we need evidence, we need proof, we need to see other people doing it so that we can believe it’s possible.

And so three reasons that we aren’t healing is because we believe there’s something wrong with us. We don’t recognize it, that’s just a human condition to believe that. It’s totally fine, it’s no big deal. You’re just, there’s something wrong with me, actually maybe there’s not, it’s just the way my brain thinks. It could be wrong. Interesting, okay.

The second thing is you heard it from family members, from the medical community or whatever, that it sucks to get old, basically.

And then the third reason is we don’t understand the way our body, brain and beliefs work. So we don’t realize that we keep creating this, that we are the ones that are in charge of actually believing it until we become it. So it’s just a recognition, those three things.

And the five steps that I’m suggesting you take is the first one is to settle down and get present, get quiet, get still, go for a nice friendly walk. Maybe go in the pasture, go walk barefooted in the grass, go settle down, quiet down, don’t be in a hurry, don’t seek, don’t look for answers, don’t try to solve any kind of problem.

In other words, just accept, I’m a human and these things come up sometimes and there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just the way I am conditioned to believe. And just be still with that as long as you can. Start to explore that maybe there is nothing wrong, that maybe that’s just how it is to be a human. So that’s step one.

Step two is you want to research, question and find out things for yourself, open some books, open Google.

And number three is you want to notice the habits and behaviors and you want to do them differently.

Step four is you want to visualize a whole healthy life, and maybe you would start bridging by seeing others who have done it and then start to say, “Well, if they could, what if I could too?” Just start to question that.

And step five is you want to choose the new belief that it is possible for you and you want to commit to it and start to behave is if it were already. And then you will create it, I promise you. I promise you, guys, I’m not kidding, this is just how it works. And yeah, sometimes we need someone else to show us our thoughts because we don’t realize that we’re thinking these things. And that’s really what this podcast is about is just to keep telling you that over and over.

And so that’s the invitation for this week is are you willing to do things a little bit differently? Are you willing to call your own brain out on its BS, on its belief system? And to question what you’ve always been told and maybe recognize that it doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because we’ve been told that, doesn’t mean it’s true.

Anyway, if you want to take this work deeper, come over to the More Than Mindset group and just so you know, I’m working on something really, really, really fun, that’s going to blow your mind. And the group is going to be the first to hear the announcement, so just putting that little plug in, make sure you guys get over there.

Alright, that’s what I have for you this week. I hope this was helpful. Remember to repeat the phrases as often as possible, I am not broken. My body is not faulty. I have the natural ability to heal. My body is resilient. My body is strong. I am super smart. My body knows exactly how to realign itself. Just keep repeating that, keep reminding yourself that I am whole. I am happy. I am healthy. I am safe. I got this. I can do this. My body is amazing. My life is amazing. I am amazing.

Alright, until next week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of More than Mindset.