#188: You Are Worthy
Welcome to More Than Mindset, the only podcast that bridges the gap between spirituality and success. Go beyond the mind with clarity and confidence Coach Kim Guillory and learn how to integrate your passion to serve with your skills and experience to create a business you love. Let’s get started.
Hey guys. Welcome back to the show. I am packing up and heading to Colorado for the Human Design Conference, where I will be presenting. I’m super excited! We are going to leave tomorrow and we’re driving to the mountains I had just returned from. Myself, and my team just returned from the Grow Your Business Workshop, in Lake Charles, Louisiana, which was fabulous.
So glad to have you guys on board. I know some of you are new to the Podcast, as well as the More Than Mindset group and even Self-Healing Masters and eSchool, so fun.
So, we’ve kind of taken upon ourselves to go out into the world and meet more healing-focused entrepreneurs or service-based entrepreneurs who want to grow their business in a sustainable way.
Remember … sustainable way. That’s kind of a big deal. We don’t want to miss that part. So, it’s a little hard for massage therapists and coaches to start out with something that is sustainable and predictable because it’s still fairly new to the market. Right? This is not something that has been going on for years and years.
So, most of you are maybe fairly new to coaching at all. Have you even hired a coach yet? You know, much less started a coaching business? So, we are just getting started just so you know.
Alright, let’s get onto today’s show. I’m going to be talking about the number one reason why most human’s struggle.
You ready for this? So, this came to my awareness because September is my birthday month. And I remember as a kid and a young adult completely avoiding my birthday, I didn’t celebrate it. I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t want anything to do with it. And it actually represented pain for me.
Because of my experience as a child and it not being some of knowledge, therefore, I interpreted that as, “I’m not important, I don’t matter.”
I had the belief, like, “it doesn’t matter, like the birthday doesn’t matter. The celebration doesn’t matter. It’s not a big deal … Like what’s the big fuss about?” and that was actually a defense mechanism. Interesting. Right?
It’s easier to deny ourselves then being hurt again. Or that’s what we tell ourselves. That’s what our mind tells us. Right? Because this is all about the mind. The thing is, it’s locked in the body, and it’s being controlled by the nervous system, the nervous system response. So, when I was a kid, I remember buying my first birthday cake with my babysitting money. It was a white cake. It was frozen. I walked to the store and got it. I was 10 years old. I remember all of this.
And I guess there was a part of me that wanted to celebrate it or thought I was important or maybe I was just hungry for birthday cake. Who the heck knows. And here’s the cool thing … our memories, or just our interpretation or perception of memories, could be something completely different that actually happened, but what’s important is what we remember what we had a visceral response to, or an emotional reaction to, that’s what we remember.
So, we might not be telling the story accurately, according to what literally happened. We tell the story according to what we experienced and that’s why healing work and trauma work is so intense. And there’s a vast variety of modalities that help because the information that we need to pivot or make the switch is so deeply embedded in our body, in our memories, in our systems and it’s layers and layers deep.
Here is the number one reason. You ready for it? I knew I would circle back … the acknowledgement of the birthday or lack of celebration. For myself and wanting to pretend that it wasn’t important played a part in my business and my ability to earn and grow my business, to create the impact that I wanted to make in the world.
And also, how many people I could help, because how we do anything is how we do everything.
So, the same part of us that wants to protect us from being hurt, from not being important, from not being acknowledged, and then having to experience shame is the same aspect that shows up in the business, and it’s all being driven by unworthiness.
We do not feel worthy. Worthy to celebrate, worthy to get attention, worthy to make the money, worth worthy to receive the transformation, the healing, the great relationship. And this is just a story that the mind says, that’s it? It is not true. Every single one of us were born worthy.
Every one of us, no matter what, you are worthy. But because of the experiences that you had in your upbringing, or maybe in early adulthood, which is more than likely a repeat of childhood, because that’s how it works. What is familiar? This has nothing to do with you, with your personality, with your Human Design, with your astrology sign at all. Nothing to do with it.
We use those systems as data to check in and to question and to reach our potential or maybe recognize the detriment pre-potential. But the true story, the real story truth with a big T is that you are worthy. You are enough, you are worthy, you are important. And until you can receive that on all three levels of belief.
What you say and think, what you feel and experience and what is viscerally embedded in your system so deeply that you actually take action from that perspective. So that’s the three layers of belief. So, you fully believe you are worthy. Or you don’t, period. And if you don’t it’s because there is a part of you that has a story that has a memory that recalls an experience that proved that not to be true.
And now the mind is protecting you from experiencing that again. So, you have a couple of options here. One is to reframe it. To find what is that belief that, layered experience of doubt and fear and worry and shame. That’s one way is to actually become aware of what it is, what that experience is, and then reframe it.
So, tell the story differently. That is one way that you can change this. There’s a second. Let me tell you these two ways they both work. They’re just very different. The second way is, you could just decide I’m enough. I’m worthy. I’m over what I think of myself, what other people think of me. That’s it. I just decide. I’m worthy and I move into the world of worthiness. That’s the second way.
Let me tell you the difference between the two ways. The first way is, it’s kind of coaxing into the nervous system. It’s a little bit easier. I shouldn’t say easier … it might take longer. I don’t know. It depends on you and your system and what the story is, but you make the decision that you want to have the awareness of what created this to start off with.
Okay. So that’s the first thing that needs to happen is you need to get present and recognize that somewhere, somehow, I took on the belief. The persona, the personality, the identity of the person who is not worthy and that experience comes from, and then you fill in the blank. It could be that simple. We could also do MindBody coaching, and take you into emotional processing, maybe regression.
This is what we do as integrative MindBody coaches. That’s an option. And what I’m noticing is it really depends on the person. I love to bring Human Design in, because chances are, you’re going to want to investigate.
That’s the second option. But the first option is, you really need to know your mind really needs to have the full-on experience, go into the nervous system, reframe, and pivot into the new experience, to where it is integrated and embodied in your psyche and in your system. Totally possible.
We’ve been doing this for years. This is how I transformed my own life. I was doing a lot of processing, a lot of emotional healing, and a lot of work in deeply rooted trauma and layers of years of belief. Okay. So, it’s not wrong. It’s not right. It just is the second way. You just make the decision and you “Abraham-Hicks it” … Law of Attraction.
You just go right out there and live it as if it’s true, both work. Do you have the capacity to just step into the new belief without going through the stages of transformation, the integration, the embodiment, the emotional processing, the understanding? Maybe. I can now, but I believe it’s only because I’ve had the experience of the MindBody healing.
It wasn’t available for me before. I wish it was, I wish this would’ve happened quicker, sooner, but it didn’t. This is exactly how it happened. And the beauty of that is, I get to use everything. So, I get to use the experience. I get to use the healing sessions.
I also created a technique for other coaches, and I’ve been training coaches for the last, I six or seven years in how to do this for their clients. So, there’s a lot of beauty in that.
So, I get to bring something new into the world that I created through my own experience. That’s great, right? The other side of it is … had I known it was available to just believe it, and it was possible for me, and I had the potential to do it, I would’ve done that. I would’ve done it a lot quicker, but it wasn’t. And so, I’m okay with that too.
So now I have context and content I have. And so, I’m able to choose and I’m able to help clients choose. And so, I’m offering this to you right now. I’m telling you that the reason that you don’t have the relationship you want, you don’t have the financial security that you want, or making the amount of money that you believe you should have, or why your business isn’t growing, why you aren’t healing, your physical body is because of an unworthiness issue.
As soon as you’re worthy to receive it, and you realize that you’re entitled to it, just because you are a worthy being, everything changes. But the mind has grips on that old story. And sometimes we have to go in and shake that up, you know, how I talked about Louise Hay?
And she said like, she’s doing it the second way. She’s like, “just change your thoughts. Quit thinking in that way … go off and live your life.” And I was like, “no, Louise, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. It doesn’t work.” That’s what the punchline approach is. It is the process. If that doesn’t work, just changing your thought or believing in whatever the new thought is, or the affirmation, doesn’t work here. It is about accessing a different resource. The punchline approach is an actual process. It’s a step-five system that does the same exact thing with awareness and helps you pivot and reframe the story, change the nervous system, rewrite the neuro-pathways, and take new actions.
So, the Punchline approach is beautiful first step for taking the steps. It’s the how-to guide. The second way, the Louise Hay way, which is to just change your thoughts. Marisa Peer says this too, right? She’s just like get over it and be worthy, but it didn’t work for me personally, because I needed the experience. there’s nothing wrong or bad about that at all. It just is.
And that puts me in a beautiful position today because I can see all of it and I can always also see that it is valid, and I respect it and understand it. And I’m working with a group of people that we’re doing it MindBody intensive, and we are doing this together as a group for the next 10 weeks.
It is taking them through the process if they’re not in the position to just believe it. So, it’s been interesting, and I can’t say all of it was pleasurable. It was pretty tough at times, but I’m sitting in a very satisfied position now because I know I have the tools. I know I’m equipped, and I know sometimes I might need to go into a little bit of processing and pulling up some old memory, that’s still stored in my body. I call this a samskara according to my yoga teaching.
Samskara is a memory that’s etched in the cells of the body, in the system of the body. So you could call it a trauma, which is just a separation from safety. So, it’s a moment in time where you did not feel safe to be yourself fully.
There was a part of you that had to check out and that is a scoring in the system of the body. So, in that case, I might do some tapping. I might do some like move my body, do exercise. I might do yoga. I might do meditation. I might do emotional processing. I may call one of my coaches and ask them to help me see what I can’t see because it’s unconscious and subconscious.
So those are all options. And then some days I’m just like, “I don’t believe that anymore. This is who I am. I’m worthy, I’m ready. I’m going do it.” And this is one of the steps that I’ve taken lately in growing my business is bringing people on board who want to do this work, who want to help the clients who are stuck, who want to make the change, and they have more time to serve them.
And then I also have the clients that I’ve been working with for the last 11- 12 years. So. I might have that wrong. I feel like I need to have that right. I’m not sure what that is. Don’t hold me to it. I’d have to look it up, but it did come up in my Facebook memories.
So, I’m thinking of the people who have been working with me for the past 20 years, 15 years, 10 years, 8 years, 6 years. It’s easier and quicker to pivot and change because they understand the process. That’s it. It’s just like moments in time and it’s creating new habits and behavior. That we go from what we used to do when we were that person, over to what we do now as this person.
And so, it’s really just a new personality, a new personal reality, the way that you see the world, the lens that you wear and how you experience life. It’s just a different version, but what’s weird is it still looks like you, so some people get confused.
Alright … so, I hope I will meet some of you at the Human Design Conference, and if you are new to my world and you’re enjoying the Podcast, please share it with a friend, come to the More Than Mindset Facebook Group and introduce yourself. I would love to meet you and maybe you will attend one of the Grow Your Business events that is for MindBody practitioners, massage therapists, functional pharmacists, yoga teachers, healers, Reiki Masters.
Alright my friends, I wish you an amazing week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of More Than Mindset.